May 24, 2021

Stop Asking Others What You Should Do - Listen To Yourself Instead

Show Notes
Transcript

Do you listen to other people when you have a choice to make? Most of the time we feel we must get approval or get someone's opinion before we can move ahead with our actions whether it be a new job, sending your son or daughter to a private school, buying a new house, where to go on vacation, etc., etc. What we all need to be doing is listening to ourselves. We definitely know what's best for us but sometimes we don't realize we are in charge and we are the person who has the answers. In this episode, I give you three fantastic examples so that you can see if these things have ever happened to you. Hope you enjoy this episode. Thanks for listening. If you love the content you may consider buying me a cup of coffee! Go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/stephlee Get my book! Southpaw - A Tale About A Girl’s Imagination - Much thanks and appreciation! https://amzn.to/33Z9lkq The topics/techniques I talk about take tenacity and a desire to see yourself living your best life right now and that is exactly what will make great things happen. Whatever you do, don't give up and always believe that the impossible is not impossible. It is only your thinking that makes it so. To have a more productive life in this ever-changing world listen to this episode. Get your dreams, desires, and results that you want. It's easy once you have the 411. *And no matter what, always remember what I've always said about this world, "Everything has to do with Everything." The simplest innocuous activity you do will affect another person, and maybe that other person is across the street, in another city, on the other side of the globe, OR not even born yet. The implications of your actions weigh heavy on you. FOLLOW GROWING UNCOMFORTABLE FOR FREE Go to the website to listen to past episodes, get to my social media links, and read a bio on me...IF you are wondering what I'm all about: http://growinguncomfortable.com/site Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/growing-uncomfortable/id1457646546 Spotify: https://growinguncomfortable.libsyn.com/spotify Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/growing_uncomfortable/ FaceBook: https://www.facebook.com/WeAreGrowingUncomfortable/?modal=admin_todo_tour *Contact: growinguncomfortable@gmail.com ALSO: Go to Talk, Tales, and Trivia - http://talktalesandtrivia.com/site to listen to this podcast about culture, society, pop culture, and trivia. Have fun with your family and friends with enlightening topics and some great trivia. It's so much fun! AND...push that PURPLE BUTTON on your iPhone to SUBSCRIBE! Apple Podcasts
Talk, Tales, and Trivia iHeart Radio:
http://www.iheart.com Stitcher:
http://www.stitcher.com Instagram:

WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.400 --> 00:00:04.120
This is Growing Uncomfortable, the podcast that explores techniques that

2
00:00:04.160 --> 00:00:07.799
will improve your life. Growing Uncomfortable with Stephanie Lee starts

3
00:00:07.919 --> 00:00:10.640
right now.

4
00:00:10.400 --> 00:00:15.919
Now, Hello, this is Stephanie and this is Growing Uncomfortable,

5
00:00:16.160 --> 00:00:20.760
the podcast where I talk about growing uncomfortable about you,

6
00:00:21.239 --> 00:00:24.120
getting out of that comfortable situation that you're not so

7
00:00:24.280 --> 00:00:28.199
crazy about and getting a little uncomfortable to get to

8
00:00:28.440 --> 00:00:32.240
your dream or desire. That is so cool and I

9
00:00:32.280 --> 00:00:34.960
want that for you. If you are a new listener

10
00:00:35.000 --> 00:00:38.840
here at Growing Uncomfortable, I want to welcome you and

11
00:00:38.880 --> 00:00:43.000
I hope that you enjoy this episode. Now, everybody, gather around,

12
00:00:43.439 --> 00:00:49.159
get your favorite beverage, sit down, relax, listen and enjoy

13
00:00:49.799 --> 00:00:56.840
this episode. Stop asking others what you should do. Well,

14
00:00:56.880 --> 00:01:01.039
that's the truth. As Walter Begahet said, the great pleasure

15
00:01:01.240 --> 00:01:04.319
in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

16
00:01:04.840 --> 00:01:08.560
You see, people will tell you what to do. Your family,

17
00:01:08.719 --> 00:01:12.519
your friends, your neighbors and acquaintances. Believe me, they'll tell

18
00:01:12.560 --> 00:01:14.719
you what to think. They'll tell you what you do

19
00:01:14.879 --> 00:01:17.879
right or wrong, how to be better live your life

20
00:01:18.040 --> 00:01:21.879
and further your career, as if they knew. Hmm. But

21
00:01:22.040 --> 00:01:24.319
none of the people who tell you what to do.

22
00:01:24.760 --> 00:01:28.319
Know what's best for you? Right, what's happened in your

23
00:01:28.359 --> 00:01:31.840
life to give you that desire? And you should stop

24
00:01:31.959 --> 00:01:37.319
listening to them? Just stop it. They don't know you

25
00:01:37.560 --> 00:01:40.840
as well as you think they know you. This includes

26
00:01:41.079 --> 00:01:45.480
family and friends, especially as you get older and are

27
00:01:45.519 --> 00:01:49.480
on your own, perhaps not telling your every move and

28
00:01:49.640 --> 00:01:52.359
thought to them. Now, this has happened to me with

29
00:01:52.480 --> 00:01:56.280
my family. No matter how comfortable you are and how

30
00:01:56.319 --> 00:02:00.200
long you've known a person, they don't know the real you,

31
00:02:00.760 --> 00:02:04.239
and really how could they. They know the version of

32
00:02:04.359 --> 00:02:07.719
you that you chose to share with them, which might

33
00:02:07.760 --> 00:02:12.520
be about eighty percent of yourself, but it's that twenty

34
00:02:12.560 --> 00:02:15.919
percent that you don't share. It's never going to be

35
00:02:16.080 --> 00:02:20.120
the complete one hundred percent that makes up you. The

36
00:02:20.240 --> 00:02:23.680
advice they give you can only be as successful as

37
00:02:23.719 --> 00:02:26.960
the amount they know about you. Well, the will you

38
00:02:27.560 --> 00:02:31.240
They tell you what they want you to do, and

39
00:02:31.319 --> 00:02:35.879
that includes people with the best intentions influenced by their

40
00:02:35.919 --> 00:02:40.439
own desires. Right. These people, whoever they are in your life,

41
00:02:41.000 --> 00:02:44.599
obviously care and want you to be happy and successful,

42
00:02:44.800 --> 00:02:48.879
but in a way that fits their own definition, and

43
00:02:49.000 --> 00:02:54.280
that definition may not match yours, so be careful. They

44
00:02:54.319 --> 00:02:57.319
will tell you what they would do if they were

45
00:02:57.319 --> 00:03:01.280
in the same circumstances, whether they are an expert or not,

46
00:03:02.360 --> 00:03:06.400
and also stop asking them what they would do that

47
00:03:06.599 --> 00:03:10.759
might help. When people offer you advice, they base it

48
00:03:10.840 --> 00:03:14.560
on what they would do if faced with a similar situation.

49
00:03:15.719 --> 00:03:19.080
But what they would do is based on who they are.

50
00:03:20.039 --> 00:03:23.520
Who they are, who they were when they were growing up. Right.

51
00:03:23.960 --> 00:03:26.840
We talk about this all the time on growing uncomfortable.

52
00:03:28.080 --> 00:03:31.159
They talk about who they are, not who you are.

53
00:03:31.680 --> 00:03:37.000
Their intentions may be pure, but the reasoning is often misunderstood.

54
00:03:37.599 --> 00:03:41.000
I have an example, of course, the story about a

55
00:03:41.039 --> 00:03:45.759
free podcasting hosting platform and me, well, let me tell

56
00:03:45.759 --> 00:03:48.479
you a little bit about it. About three years ago,

57
00:03:48.639 --> 00:03:52.840
I was influenced about an idea on podcasting. I had

58
00:03:52.919 --> 00:03:56.680
an idea to do a short three minutes or less

59
00:03:56.719 --> 00:04:02.039
podcast giving listeners like yourselves, little tips to do during

60
00:04:02.080 --> 00:04:06.039
the day to be motivated to do great things. They

61
00:04:06.039 --> 00:04:09.199
were tips and tricks that had worked for me, and

62
00:04:09.319 --> 00:04:12.280
it was on a free hosting platform. I didn't have

63
00:04:12.280 --> 00:04:14.439
to pay for it. I thought it would help me

64
00:04:14.599 --> 00:04:17.120
get my voice the way I wanted it to sound

65
00:04:17.279 --> 00:04:20.360
on the long form podcast like this one. And I

66
00:04:20.439 --> 00:04:24.120
experimented with different ways of speaking and different kinds of music,

67
00:04:24.680 --> 00:04:29.279
and I loved it. Sounds great, right. When I asked

68
00:04:29.439 --> 00:04:33.399
the podcasters that had been podcasting for many years, well,

69
00:04:33.519 --> 00:04:36.720
they put it down. They discouraged using the hosting platform.

70
00:04:37.160 --> 00:04:41.240
After hearing it from about four really well known, well

71
00:04:41.279 --> 00:04:46.600
respected podcasters, and after I had almost one hundred episodes

72
00:04:46.879 --> 00:04:50.759
of this short, three minute or less podcast, I let

73
00:04:50.839 --> 00:04:55.920
these other well intentioned podcasters right, they didn't mean to

74
00:04:56.000 --> 00:04:59.720
do anything bad, but I let them influence me to

75
00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:04.319
feel bad about making the podcast on that platform, so

76
00:05:04.480 --> 00:05:08.319
I stopped doing the podcast. Now, that was my fault.

77
00:05:08.759 --> 00:05:12.199
I shouldn't have let them influence me. That was a

78
00:05:12.319 --> 00:05:15.720
lesson learned. I was learned the hard way, and I

79
00:05:16.240 --> 00:05:20.240
regret it. I would hate for you to have something

80
00:05:20.519 --> 00:05:23.959
that you regret as well. Just because somebody has an

81
00:05:24.000 --> 00:05:28.519
opinion about what you should do doesn't mean they are right.

82
00:05:29.560 --> 00:05:34.079
Opinions aren't facts. Take their opinion for what it's worth

83
00:05:34.759 --> 00:05:38.560
because it's happening to you and not them. Their opinion

84
00:05:39.000 --> 00:05:42.839
does not mean very much for your life. If the

85
00:05:42.920 --> 00:05:46.519
person you tell is a family or close friend about

86
00:05:46.560 --> 00:05:50.360
something that you want, maybe there is a possibility that

87
00:05:50.480 --> 00:05:54.680
they don't want you to change. If you change, then

88
00:05:55.120 --> 00:05:58.680
they might have to change too to fit into your

89
00:05:58.720 --> 00:06:03.279
new lifestyle. That's hard. Other people may love you so

90
00:06:03.519 --> 00:06:06.759
much the way you are right now that they fear

91
00:06:07.279 --> 00:06:11.920
certain decisions you make will change you, and that those

92
00:06:12.160 --> 00:06:18.040
changes could impact your relationship with them. It sounds very convoluted,

93
00:06:18.079 --> 00:06:21.360
but I've seen it happen. It's usually in your best

94
00:06:21.360 --> 00:06:24.800
interest to change, to evolve into more of a person

95
00:06:25.199 --> 00:06:28.000
you want to become and the life you want to have.

96
00:06:28.399 --> 00:06:33.000
But beware the person who fears your evolution and your change.

97
00:06:33.160 --> 00:06:37.480
They're not you. So you may ask why don't they

98
00:06:37.519 --> 00:06:41.920
want to see me change? That's a question you perhaps

99
00:06:42.279 --> 00:06:45.839
could ask yourself. Well, ultimately, it comes down to this.

100
00:06:46.480 --> 00:06:51.160
You are the expert on you. You are the expert

101
00:06:51.399 --> 00:06:56.519
on why oh you. Nobody can know what's best for

102
00:06:57.079 --> 00:07:02.079
you better than you. So trust your instincts, stop listening

103
00:07:02.120 --> 00:07:06.560
to other people, and own your own decisions. He'll be

104
00:07:06.600 --> 00:07:10.319
so glad you did. Here's my second story, and it's

105
00:07:10.319 --> 00:07:13.199
a story that kept happening and happening and happening to

106
00:07:13.240 --> 00:07:16.560
me until I decided that I didn't want to hear

107
00:07:16.600 --> 00:07:21.279
it anymore. It's a story about applying for a new

108
00:07:21.399 --> 00:07:27.120
job or position. Mostly it happened when I was younger. Well,

109
00:07:27.199 --> 00:07:30.240
this is the way it would go. I was excited

110
00:07:30.560 --> 00:07:33.800
about a position and would share it with my family

111
00:07:33.959 --> 00:07:37.000
or friends, and I would share that I had a

112
00:07:37.079 --> 00:07:41.560
desire to apply for that position. I would hear, think

113
00:07:41.600 --> 00:07:46.519
about it, Are you really qualified? You've tried this before.

114
00:07:47.240 --> 00:07:51.000
Why are you trying it again? Your resume has nothing

115
00:07:51.040 --> 00:07:53.959
to do with the job, so why are you even

116
00:07:54.120 --> 00:07:57.560
applying for it? Can't you just settle for what you have?

117
00:07:58.240 --> 00:08:01.439
You can't do that kind of work. Augh, and the

118
00:08:01.519 --> 00:08:05.240
best one you need to meet a man that will

119
00:08:05.519 --> 00:08:10.800
take care of you. Ah. I feel like screaming again.

120
00:08:11.319 --> 00:08:16.000
Lesson learned the hard way, and I regret it because

121
00:08:16.040 --> 00:08:19.000
I let a lot of jobs go because of what

122
00:08:19.560 --> 00:08:23.319
other people have thought about me. Hey, it's getting warm,

123
00:08:23.680 --> 00:08:26.959
the spring and summer are here. So if this is

124
00:08:27.079 --> 00:08:30.959
a family member and you can't get away from them

125
00:08:31.279 --> 00:08:35.559
during these outings and their opinion on what you should do,

126
00:08:36.080 --> 00:08:40.279
here's my idea. Someone told me this so many years

127
00:08:40.279 --> 00:08:43.679
ago and it stuck with me. Don't go as often

128
00:08:44.000 --> 00:08:47.279
and don't stay as long. What does that mean, Well,

129
00:08:47.399 --> 00:08:51.320
it means don't go to every gathering that you have,

130
00:08:51.639 --> 00:08:55.080
and when you do go, don't stay as long. If

131
00:08:55.120 --> 00:08:59.919
you normally stay five hours, make it too then nothing

132
00:09:00.120 --> 00:09:03.600
can bother you. This may be harsh, but it will

133
00:09:03.600 --> 00:09:07.639
make you feel great and guess what else you'll feel

134
00:09:07.720 --> 00:09:11.919
in control control of your own life. Not only are

135
00:09:11.960 --> 00:09:15.320
you making your own decision about who you spend your

136
00:09:15.440 --> 00:09:19.080
valuable time with, and it is valuable every single minute

137
00:09:19.159 --> 00:09:23.080
of time, but you are limiting those negative feelings by

138
00:09:23.120 --> 00:09:26.440
timing how long you are with a family member or

139
00:09:26.480 --> 00:09:30.799
a friend or anyone else, no matter how well intentioned

140
00:09:31.039 --> 00:09:33.960
they may be. It's not all bad to get a

141
00:09:34.000 --> 00:09:37.679
different perspective when you tell them you're about to follow

142
00:09:37.720 --> 00:09:42.840
your dreams. Ha ha, But an outside opinion can help

143
00:09:42.960 --> 00:09:47.639
give you some perspective. It's true, but you, me and

144
00:09:47.679 --> 00:09:51.519
everybody else out there must be smart and know how

145
00:09:51.559 --> 00:09:58.000
to separate constructive criticism from negativity. The only yes you

146
00:09:58.120 --> 00:10:01.519
need to follow is your own. Yet, yes, your dreams

147
00:10:01.559 --> 00:10:05.840
are yours and not anyone else's. So if you say yes,

148
00:10:06.080 --> 00:10:09.480
I'm going to do it, then you should. You will

149
00:10:09.600 --> 00:10:15.399
ultimately feel strong as you prove the doubters wrong. People

150
00:10:15.399 --> 00:10:19.240
who followed their dreams are doers. And doers have more

151
00:10:19.320 --> 00:10:25.159
power to create, influence and change their environment. And that's you.

152
00:10:25.879 --> 00:10:29.519
And you have the chance to change the world if

153
00:10:29.559 --> 00:10:32.919
you want to. You will inspire others to follow their

154
00:10:33.039 --> 00:10:37.559
dreams and desires, even if they know nothing about you. Well,

155
00:10:37.600 --> 00:10:40.759
have I ever told you the story of Genevieve Bhrand?

156
00:10:41.120 --> 00:10:43.440
I know I did tell you a little bit about it,

157
00:10:43.480 --> 00:10:46.200
maybe a couple of months ago, maybe even six months ago,

158
00:10:46.480 --> 00:10:49.120
But here I am telling you about it again because

159
00:10:49.240 --> 00:10:52.480
it has everything to do with this episode. Well, the

160
00:10:52.519 --> 00:10:56.519
story of Genevieve Bhrand began in the early nineteen hundreds

161
00:10:57.120 --> 00:11:01.440
when Genevieve Barrand had a dream, a desire. Her dream

162
00:11:01.720 --> 00:11:05.240
and her desire was to be taught by Thomas Troward,

163
00:11:05.840 --> 00:11:10.799
a great leader of mental science, spiritual philosophy, and wisdom.

164
00:11:11.240 --> 00:11:14.360
Today we refer to Thomas Troward as a thought leader.

165
00:11:14.759 --> 00:11:17.720
Her friends told her over and over again that there

166
00:11:17.799 --> 00:11:22.600
was no point in continuing to pursue meeting Troward because

167
00:11:22.720 --> 00:11:26.240
of the failure and disappointment that would follow. These friends

168
00:11:26.320 --> 00:11:29.600
meant well, right, just like your friends and family. Meanwhile,

169
00:11:29.919 --> 00:11:32.480
and didn't want to see their friend get hurt. But

170
00:11:33.039 --> 00:11:37.559
in the end, we see how Genevieve desired this so much.

171
00:11:38.200 --> 00:11:41.440
She did what she wanted to do by not listening

172
00:11:41.480 --> 00:11:44.879
to any one. She finally got to meet Thomas Troward,

173
00:11:44.960 --> 00:11:49.159
and although initially hesitant to take on a student, he

174
00:11:49.559 --> 00:11:55.279
Thomas Troward did have Genevieve brand as a student. Genevieve

175
00:11:55.360 --> 00:11:58.279
got what she wanted through not listening to anyone else

176
00:11:58.480 --> 00:12:01.799
and doing what seemed right for her. And that's what

177
00:12:01.919 --> 00:12:05.240
I want for you too, So dust yourself off and

178
00:12:05.399 --> 00:12:11.919
try again. It's your life, live it on your terms. Hey,

179
00:12:11.960 --> 00:12:15.519
you know what, if you enjoyed growing Uncomfortable, that's great

180
00:12:15.720 --> 00:12:19.399
and I love that. Email me Growing Uncomfortable at gmail

181
00:12:19.480 --> 00:12:22.679
dot com. You can also go to Growing Uncomfortable dot

182
00:12:22.679 --> 00:12:26.120
com slash s i t E to get to all

183
00:12:26.159 --> 00:12:30.120
my episodes, my show notes, and there's a bio on me.

184
00:12:30.480 --> 00:12:32.799
If you're wondering what I'm all about. And if you

185
00:12:33.000 --> 00:12:39.679
enjoyed growing Uncomfortable, I know, I just bet perhaps maybe

186
00:12:39.720 --> 00:12:43.320
you may enjoy Talktails and Trivia. Talktails and Trivia at

187
00:12:43.320 --> 00:12:47.080
gmail dot com is how you reach me, and go

188
00:12:47.159 --> 00:12:51.240
to Talktailsintrivia dot com slash s I T E to

189
00:12:51.320 --> 00:12:55.159
get to my episodes show notes, and that bio on

190
00:12:55.240 --> 00:12:57.600
me is there. If you're wondering what I'm all about.

191
00:12:57.720 --> 00:12:59.919
Before I leave you, I do want to tell you

192
00:13:00.360 --> 00:13:04.480
that you can follow Growing Uncomfortable and Talk Tales on

193
00:13:04.559 --> 00:13:08.679
Trivia because you will get the notifications of when new

194
00:13:08.799 --> 00:13:12.600
episodes come out. I hope you enjoyed this episode of

195
00:13:12.720 --> 00:13:17.639
Growing Uncomfortable and I will catch you later. Okay, bye

196
00:13:17.679 --> 00:13:33.600
bye

Stop Asking Others What You Should Do - Listen To Yourself Instead

Listen On

Recent Episodes