Forget That Old Feeling - You've Got A Lot Of Living To Do

0:00 This is Growing Uncomfortable, the podcast that explores techniques that will improve your life. Growing Uncomfortable with Stephanie Lee starts right now. Now. Hello, this is Stephanie and this is Growing Uncomfortable. You know what, I am totally uncomfortable every day and every way, and I am growing uncomfortable about certain things that I never thought I would And that is so good and I want that for you too. Get out of that comfortable situation that you are not so happy about and get uncomfortable. Get into a new situation, Get into a new place where you can see all of your results, your dreams and desires. That is what I want for you. If you are a new listener here at Growing Uncomfortable, I want to welcome you and thank you so much for tuning in to this episode.

0:53 I hope that you enjoy it. Now, everybody, grab your favorite beverage, sit down, relax, listen and enjoy this episode. Well, this episode is for those out there that think there is something lacking in themselves. You may be one of these people. In this episode, I am talking about getting older, decrepit, weak, feeble, worn out, creaky, frail and tired. Well, no, I'm actually not but I am going to talk about getting older in our society and how uncomfortable that is, and how that's okay. You are truly not all of those things.

1:36 If you feel you are being bypassed by the younger generations, there are some things you can do to feel better and contribute to life like never before. You know, let's start by just saying it. In the workplace, there is nothing worse than someone younger than you taking away a position or perhaps a position of authority to someone who who is ten or twenty years younger than you are. Hmm, that would aggravate me. It happens to both men and women. But while men continue to generally grow old gracefully as it is termed, and generally get more handsome with age as it is termed, women are not quite as lucky.

2:21 They are not seen in the same light. It is so true. Women are seen as intelligent and pretty and attractive, but as you will hear, not exactly sexy or seen the way they want to be seen, not exactly wanted in the workplace or sought after. In many areas of life. It is believed that women, as they get older have to try harder to get the same amount of attention that someone that may be just five or ten years younger. Is it fair? No, but it does happen, and perhaps instead of looking at it negatively, we can turn it around. Think about it like this. Older women have more to offer than younger women. Knowledge, life experience, going through different stages of life. Women over fifty have been through everything, changes in careers, kids, funerals, all kinds of things that the younger generation just hasn't experienced yet. Those women, you and me know how to handle so many more situations than the younger generations. But first, you know what, let's start with the definition which I always love to do, and I hate this word, but we are going to use it in this instance. Ageism ugh discrimination based on age, especially prejudice against the elderly, discrimination against middle aged and elderly people. The treating of a person or people differently

3:54 from others based on assumptions or stereotypes related to their age. I'm hating this already well. On the verywellmined dot com website I found this. Researcher Susan Fisk, has suggested that stereotypes about older people often relate to how younger people expect them to behave. Well, let's look. The first stereotype she described relates to succession. Younger people often assume that older individuals have had their turn quote unquote and should make way for the younger generations. Well, I don't like that, and so I'm gonna market as untrue faults. The second stereotype relates to what Fisk refers to as consumption. Younger people frequently feel that limited resources should be spent on themselves rather than on older adults. Untrue, false, not true.

4:54 I am in no way condoning any of these suggestions. Finally, young people also hold stereotypes about the identity of older adults. Younger people feel that those who are older than them should act their age quote unquote and not try to steal the identities of younger people, including things such as special patterns and manners of dress. Of course, I feel that that is untrue and false. Whether or not these three statements are true, it is important that you see them as false. They are only stereotypes, and we don't have to have those stereotypes in our lives. These are all untrue statements. But this might be a problem if we choose to make it a problem. In other words, if we choose to believe these statements, the secession, consumption, and identity are statements that we will just bypass and not make part of our thinking. Taking control of our own life and not becoming a victims as we get older is the key here. Now Here are two examples of failure and success. Who are you well? I'll start with the failure. A professional woman who has made a great living as a model, a profession that is enviable.

6:16 She stirred out on her path as a model and the profession when she was seventeen years old and had a successful career until she was about forty. In the meantime, she met and married a nice man who was older and took care of her. She got married, and so she became a wife and mother. In her forties, there was less work for her as a model, and so she became bitter about her age, and she felt discriminated against. She lamented that she couldn't even catch a cab in New York City because she was older and had lost her modelesque looks she once had. When her soon to be ex husband passed away, she found he left nothing in his will for her. She became a victim of her circumstances and told her sad sack story to any one that would listen to her. She was bleak, angry, bitter, and she told everybody. Instead of making the great bounce back into a different life of an older, attractive woman that might have experience that could help others, she played the victim role. She went on TV, in magazines, telling many her horrible situation, and she still does. She is the victim in her own story, in her own life.

7:37 But there is another way of looking at it. You must you must become the victor and not the victim. Now there's a second story, and it's a much happier story with a happier ending. A woman started her career as a make up artist for models from various modeling agencies. She was quite beautiful herself, but she found her love in doing professional make up. The makeup artist did well, was married, and was enjoying everything about her chosen profession and her life well. One day, walking in New York City, a photographer saw her and asked her if she would like to be a part of a photoshoot. Well after that, she became a pretty well known model, and even though she was in her late thirties and early forties. She was excited about this new chapter in her life. After a while, she walked away from modeling, but not without an idea of what she was going to do next.

8:33 She started her own make up line for boomers, women that were certainly not young, but middle aged and older. This ex model, make up artist, and make up creator was yet again successful and victorious. She passed away about five years ago, but her legacy continues on with her achievements and her make up brand. Who of these two women let age belief of their inadequate older self and life get in the way of a productive and happy life. Well, I think we can safely say it was number two. Here's some good news if you are older and feel like you are not contributing to the world around you.

9:18 Here are some statistics on the very well mined website. It says here the AARP reports that one in every five workers in the United States is over the age of fifty five. Nearly sixty five percent of workers say that they have experienced age based discrimination at work, and fifty eight percent of those surveyed believe that agism became apparent starting at age fifty but guess what agism a word I hate, is up to you. We all have a choice, right You and I absolutely know that no, I think good comes from being negative no matter what age you are. Yes, yes, yes, you may feel you are treated unfairly. Okay. As I've said, victimhood is never good.

10:15 Being victorious is always the right way to be. We all have to find our own place in the world. And remember, life is not over when you are over fifty. If you think you are old, or even made to feel you are old, you know what I say to that, stop that, Ignore those people. Remember the saying don't go as often and don't stay as long if you are surrounded by negative people, And that is exactly what I would do in this situation. Growing older is definitely and definitely uncomfortable for many reasons. And this is growing uncomfortable.

10:58 So I want you to know that that is why we're doing this episode. Digging deep and knowing and discovering a little background about ourselves will help us understand how we got to where we are with our thoughts about getting older. Well, of course, as listeners are growing uncomfortable, you and I know our thoughts and our attitudes about our age and everything else are learned when we are children, and perhaps we have witnessed how those around us, like our parents or our grandparents, reacted to getting older in certain areas of their lives and by the way others treated them, and we need not and maybe cannot, forget that in today's world, we are influenced by external factors such as the media and TV commercials that make older people look helpless, sick, and needy. And if we see those images and scenarios in nons we will believe they are who we are. We will believe and then apply the images subconsciously to our own aging process on our own thinking, this is the why and why we feel the way we do. But this has taken time to get into our subconscious and so it too will take time to get out of our subconscious. Remember what I said, It all starts when we are young, so it'll take

12:28 a little time and a little work and clarity to get our changes that are already in our subconscious mind out of there. So be patient with yourself. Now, think back to what specifically brought you to the conclusion that you are old. Maybe not as attractive, not sexy, or you have that quote unquote, nobody wants to hire me. Mentality you project to others, how you see yourself. It is what I call the mirror effect. If you are older, I'm over fifty, I would say you must first realize that that's okay. It's okay. Everything is okay. Everything, a matter of fact, is how it should be because everything is a learning experience. You have a lot of experience, wisdom, and smarts, and you know that. Get the word agism totally out of your vocabulary. Okay. I gave you the definition, Now forget it. Okay. The experience you have gathered warrants you're worth. Imagine that next big thing you will do and want to do, and plan the actions for getting to that goal or result. By using your imagination one of our best mental faculties, and forming that one big thing, think on that. All you need to start on your next big thing is your desire and passion. Write down

13:59 not only your desire but the steps to get there. Much like my second example of the makeup artist that moved into the next phase of her professional life by modeling and then creating a makeup brand that's very, very good. By the way, sidebar I will have the link to her website in the show notes, she always looked around and was aware of what her dream or desire could be, what actions she needed to take as she got older. She did all that. And lastly, do you have a quote unquote no good attitude or do you have a quote unquote can do attitude? You are victorious right now, So make that your affirmation and always remember if you are in your forties, or in your fifties, or in your sixties or beyond, every day, in every way, you are victorious. Hey, if you've enjoyed this episode of Growing Uncomfortable, that's great and I love that. Go too Growing Uncomfortable dot com to get to all my episodes, my show notes, and guess what, there's a little bio on me. If you're wondering what I'm all about. My email address is Growing Uncomfortable at gmail dot com. And you know what, if you've enjoyed Growing Uncomfortable, I just know that you may enjoy Talktales and Trivia. Go to Talktalesantrivia dot com to get to all my episodes, my show notes, and

15:30 that bio on me is there. If you're wondering what I'm all about My email address is Talktails and Trivia at gmail dot com. One more thing I have to tell you. You can follow and subscribe me very quickly by pushing that button. It is free and it gives you the notifications of when new episodes come out. What could be better than that? Well, I hope you enjoyed this episode of Growing Uncomfortable and I'll catch you later. Okay, bye bye party in aus