March 23, 2026

The Success Trap: Why High Achievers Feel Empty (And How to Fix It)

The Success Trap: Why High Achievers Feel Empty (And How to Fix It)

If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing everything “right” but still feel exhausted, anxious, or unfulfilled, this episode will change the way you see your life. In this powerful and deeply human conversation on Quick Before You Forget, we learn from Madeleine Huot, the social worker and mindset expert behind Successful Female Mindset.

Madeleine and host Ty Schmidt explore how high achievers can rewire their thoughts, redefine success, and finally feel aligned from the inside out.

From years of experience in crisis intervention, suicide prevention, and mental health, Madeleine brings a perspective most mindset conversations are missing:

  • You don’t need to become someone new.
  • You need to shift the direction of the brain you already have.
We talk about:

How to rewire your brain from worst-case thinking to possibility thinking
The hidden reason so many successful women feel burned out
Why your definition of success may be quietly hurting you
How to break free from societal expectations and internalized beliefs
The power of subconscious reprogramming and identity work
Simple daily practices to reduce anxiety and feel more present
Why kindness and connection literally save lives

And one of the most powerful takeaways: Your brain already knows how to spiral…what if you taught it to spiral toward possibility instead?

This episode is for you if you’re ready to:
✨ Stop chasing validation
✨ Start trusting yourself
✨ Redefine success on your terms
✨ And finally feel like your life matches who you really are

Press play. This one might just rewire everything for you.
WEBVTT

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I have so many people always telling me in my practice,

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oh well, you know, my brain likes to look for

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the worst case scenarios. Okay, So what I'm hearing is

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your brain has this amazing superpower. It can go from

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a single idea and explode it, you know, have that

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snowball effect. We just need to change the direction. The

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good news is your brain already has that ability. We

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just need to shift it. So you don't need to

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relearn an entire process. We just need to shift your

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brain according.

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Welcome, Madeline, Thank you.

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I'm so happy to be here. I can't wait to

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chat more. We always have the best chats together. Also,

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it's missing as a good cup of macho, right. That's

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all we're going right now, exactly.

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So I am so excited to talk to you about

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successful female mindset like it's a platform dedicated to helping

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women rewire the way they think about success, confidence, and

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self worth. Through your work, you empower women to step

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into their ambition without apology and build lives that feel

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aligned from the inside out. I am so excited to

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dive into what it really means to cultivate a mindset

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that supports the life you want. So when you say

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successful female mindset, what does that actually mean to you?

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Well, for me, it was actually a powerful moment in

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my life story where I felt a need to redefine

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what success meant for me. For the longest time, I

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was brought up to believe that the academic life tuck

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was the way to go, and that's what a successful

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life meant. It was, you know, checking all these boxes,

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getting the degrees, the title, moving up the latter and

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I got to a point in my life where I

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did achieve all of that. Everything looked great from the outside,

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but on the inside, my body was just not following.

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Everything was crashing, everything was just completely off. And my

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doctor was the one telling me, you cannot keep going

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up at this level. Like your body is speaking to

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you for a reason, you must listen to it, because,

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let's face it, when we are social workers and therapists,

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we're really good at helping others, but when it comes

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to leaning into ourselves, it's a work in progress. So

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that was a big turning point for me where I

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really had to look into my life and go, you

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know what, if this is what the price of success

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looks like. I've been told that this is what I

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need to achieve, but if it comes at the cost

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of my health and my well being and my relationships

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around me, I don't know if I really want this.

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So that's how the page was born. Was just really

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with my need to question what success means, what we

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are being taught is successful life is, and how to

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redefine it so we can live it in a way

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that's more aligned with us and what's truly important. I

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felt there was a lot of noise that needed to

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be cleared and to get really centered and kind of

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come home to myself and what's important to me. What

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are my values, my beliefs, and how I want to

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live my day to day life, because that's all we get, right,

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We get today. We can't change the past. We have

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no idea what the future holds for us. All we

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get is today. So how can I bring more pockets

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of joy into my life? Because that, to me, that

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is what a successful life is, is to create pockets

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of joy throughout my day and be the ones I love.

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You mentioned being a social worker and doing work that

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helps people. Can you tell us more about that, tell

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us more about your work and your career as well.

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In your career as well, as the page itself.

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Well, Yes, I have quite a diverse career. I spent

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about the first ten years of my career I worked

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in crisis intervention, so I worked I specialized mostly in

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suicide prevention, intervention, and also postvention, helping families that had

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to deal with the impact of having lost a loved one.

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I also developed a specialty in homicide prevention as well,

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so that was really my career for the first ten

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years of my life. It was all about how to

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save a life and how to do it quickly, because

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sometimes you will get someone who comes to you and

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they're going through a difficult time in their life, and

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you have weeks and months to work with them. But

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I also had clients that would come to me and

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it was a matter of minutes and a matter of seconds.

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So I had to learn how to tap into someone's

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mindset very quickly so that we could keep them living

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longer and choosing to choose life, so that we could

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work with them to help them get through this difficult

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situation and want to continue living and seeing all the

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beauty in life again because they just weren't seeing it anymore.

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So that was really one part of my career and

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then another part of my career, Like I said, I'm

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from the academic field. I did my bachelors in psychology,

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my master's in social work, and I did a PhD

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in social work as well. Didn't finish it though, because

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that was part of my pivot journey. So yeah, for

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about boy, I want to say, like almost a decade,

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I specialized in domestic violence and family mediation, helping women

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navigate those situations, understanding how to get through it, how

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to help the kids get through it as well, how

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to empower women to tell their story and decide what

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they need in a difficult situation like that. So that's

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really what all of my research was about. And also

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sharing the resiliency of women, just to highlight what we're

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capable of and what, you know, faced with the hardest

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challenges in our lives, how we overcome them. So that

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was a lot of what my research focus on. And

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I've also spent fifteen years in the academic field, but

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working more as a social worker with students, so helping

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them manage anxiety, depression, you know, building their self confidence,

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just navigating adulthood. So that's really been my career. It's

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quite eclectic, but Honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way.

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It's shaped who I am, it shaped how I see life.

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And I learned so much from the people I work

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with every single day.

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We've worked with a wide range too, like it's it's

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a big age range, but also a lot of different

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mental health areas there that you covered. As a person

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who is a survivor of a family dying to suicide,

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I want to stop for a second and just pause

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and say thank you, like thank you for the work

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that you did with all of those different people, because

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you know, crisis management like that is so important and

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it's just it's so near and dear to my soul.

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So thank you for your work all those years doing

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all those different serving all those different people. And know

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that from like the other side, like as a family

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member of somebody, it matters a lot. So I as

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you walked through that, I wanted to say what, I'm

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just curious. I guess what you learned about crisis intervention

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that applies to how you live your life now? Like,

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what did you take away from all the working through

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all of those crisis situations.

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I think one of my biggest takeaways is the fact

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that you never know what someone's going through in their life.

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You never know and how like how life events affect

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someone differently. No one's going to live it the same way.

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Everyone has their own journey, their own path, and you

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just you never know, You never know what anyone's going through.

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I think that was my biggest takeaway and that really

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reinforced in me the need and also the messaging on

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my page as well, the importance of being kind and

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just what can we do to be the energy that

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we would love to receive because we never know what

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someone's going through, and we never know if we're going

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to be the person who probably is going to make

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a difference in their day on that single day, whether

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that's smiling for them, maybe it's giving them an encouraging word,

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or holding the door for them or something. We never

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truly know the impact of what we do. But that

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is what I would hear in my office sometimes that

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is what would help someone cling to life and to

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choose to continue, was the fact that, oh, well, this

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person was nice to me, this person helped me feel seen,

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this person believed in me. So that is what I'm

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going to hold on to. So we never know the

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impact and we know, we never know what someone's going through.

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So that is the biggest takeaway that I have for

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my career. And also the importance of enjoying where we

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are right now asking for help, not not not staying

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alone with the with the difficulties that we're going through,

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to never hesitate to reach out for a helping hand.

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There's always going to be someone to catch it. And

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also I find it's it was also the idea that okay,

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you know what, that idea slipped away. I was having

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a profound moment and unfortunately the idea slipped away. Who

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it will come back. It's it will.

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We'll get you back there. We'll get you back there,

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so before we do, maybe and maybe this will help it.

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Maybe not. I don't know. But you mentioned the pivot moment.

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You said you talked about a pivot moment, and I

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want to know more about that and how you work

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through and approached that.

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Well, yeah, I definitely had a pivot moment in my

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academic journey because again I was always told, you know,

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to stack those degrees, keep publishing, keep publish, or perish.

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How I've had I've heard that one, And it was

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always about doing more and more and more and I

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got to a part I was like, why am I

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doing this? PhD? Am I doing it for myself? Or

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am I doing it to prove something to others? Am

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I doing it to show myself that I'm enough? Or

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am I doing it to show others that I'm enough

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by being able to add a few extra letters to

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my name? Why am I really doing this? And at

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the time when I was doing it, I was working

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full time. I'm a mom, I was, you know, doing

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it full time, my studies full time, and I just

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I got to a realization where this isn't what I

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don't want to do anymore. Loved my career in academics,

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but I'm at a point in my life where I

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want to pivot and I want to do something different.

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And for so many people around me, first the first

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reactions were, well, don't do it. You have to keep going,

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You're so close to the end. Oh, come on, we're

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going to get to call you doctor, Like, just keep going,

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And yes, that's beautiful, but I need to do it

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for me. I need to do it's right for me.

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So I went a different path. I took that pivot,

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even though so many people told me not to I

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knew in my heart that that is what I needed

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to do at that time. I needed to focus on me,

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on my family, on my well being, and I needed

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to live life. I could no longer live life chasing

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a carot that was constantly being moved. Anyways, there's always

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something else being added to the list. I just wanted

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to live in the here and now. So that was

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the powerful pivot for me.

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And you weren't an alignment Like That's the thing I'm

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hearing is that it was not in alignment with what

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you were meant to do or meant to do, how

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you were meant to be living. So how did you

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work through getting into alignment? Then?

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It took a lot of deep work, but mostly at

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the subconscious level. That's where I realized I had to

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do most of my work. I always tell my clients,

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you know, if you want to do deep, profound change,

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and I like to compare my life to a cell phone,

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because let's face it, we all live our lives with

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our phones. Right, Changing the outer case of your phone

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will not do anything. It's not going to change your

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life or whatever you have to go. You have to

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update the programming. If you have to change the entire

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phone itself. Then that's what you need to do. So

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I had to really do some deep work to understand

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what was my core identity, what are my core beliefs,

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what's driving me, what are my values? And also to

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cut through the noise, because the reason why I was

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living my life a certain way and it longer felt

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align was because there were so many echoes from the past.

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And we have a lot of those in our heads

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right in our inner monologue. We have a lot of

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echoes from our past that are pulling us in certain

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directions or telling us how we need to live. We're

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handed a life contract when we came into this world.

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It's just that none of us read the life contract,

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and we certainly didn't read the fine print. And that's

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how I felt about my life. I was like, I

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need to go, I need to get you need to

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rip up that life contract. I need to completely redo

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it from scratch, and I need to cut out the noise.

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And that itself can be so challenging because we always

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have that voice in our head telling us, Oh, you

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can do this, or you can't do this, or no,

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you can't. What are they going to think? And it's

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such a convincing voice because it sounds exactly like us,

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but it's not. It's just echoes from the past, but

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they have learned to impersonate us. And that's what gets

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so challenging when you need to kind of do that

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clean up, because you're constantly telling yourself, well, if it's

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I'm telling this to myself and my own voice, I

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wouldn't be lying to myself like this has to be true.

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But it's not. It's actually other people's voices or its

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situations or experiences that your brain interpreted in a certain way.

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And sometimes we're still carrying beliefs or perspectives or a

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certain vision from maybe situations that we dealt with as

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kids and were our child's brain was just trying to

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handle it as best as we could back then, and

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I was like, is that still serving me now? Maybe

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I need to switch that up. So I had to

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do all of that deep work. Basically everything that I

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do with my clients I had to do with myself.

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So a very humbling experience, but it was so gratifying

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as well to be able to come home to me

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to what I want and to craft my own path,

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my own vision, and to create an identity at the

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subconscious level that works with me, and that's when everything

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else in my life starting started to align as well.

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It's a beautiful story, honestly, and it's inspiring to me,

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and I'm hopeful to others to trust their instinct and

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not be afraid to make changes that might feel scary

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to make the good come true. Honestly, Like the the

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dream can happen, you just have to take the next

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little step toward it. And you talked about drowning out

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the noise, cutting the noise. You've mentioned the noise a

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few times, and I need to know what you do

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to stay grounded. Then how do you how do you

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do that? Like on a super practical level, like how

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do you cut the noise? And how you do how

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do you stay present?

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I will start to say that it is an ongoing practice.

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We don't we don't do the work and put everything's done.

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It's something we have to work on every single day.

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I do a lot of daily check ins with myself

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throughout the day. Whenever I see that my thoughts are

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not going in the direction that is su and when

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I'm trying to achieve, that's where I kind of have

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to stop I stop the narrative, take a deep breath,

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I inhale what I want, I exhale what I don't.

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Well, and I together. I mean, like, let's just stop

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for a second. You inhale what you want and you

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exhale what you don't. That exactly, that's an easy practice

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that any of us can do. I mean, you could

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stop at any point in your day and inhale what

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you want and exhale what you don't. Yeah, it's powerful.

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You just you just yeah, I.

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Know, I don't want to keep going. I don't want

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to interrupt you, but I did. I did just want

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to say, like I wanted to. I hate I hate

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the word double click, but like that's what and I'm like,

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we need a double click on that, Like we need

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to say, like, okay, that is a simple ease. Not

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easy for everybody, and maybe you have to set an

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alarm on your phone or like whatever, but like the

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simple little thing that you can do once or twice

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a day to just like be like recheck yourself.

305
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Yeah. Absolutely, I was going to say, if you want

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to intensify it, you you put on one of your

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favorite songs as well.

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You're speaking my language, girl.

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Because that is like, that is one of the most

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powerful ways to activate it and take it to that

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next level, and it kind of takes away that pressure

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of you having to come up with your own thoughts

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as well. Because music is so powerful, right If we

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especially if we listen to a tune that always brings

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us like in our best energy and our best vibe,

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it's going to do most of the work. So that's

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often one of the ways to kind of create that

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shortcut inhale what you want, excel what you don't. Put

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on that great music to keep you going into whatever

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mood you want to be in. Music is a powerful

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tool that can help us. And it's a two minute tune.

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You don't even have to sing to the entire thing,

323
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but sometimes that's a great way to intensify it. So

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you can do that shift very quickly.

325
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I'll be singing. And also I need to know what

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your music is like, do you have songs? Do you

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have a playlist?

328
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Like?

329
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How do you what is what is the song that

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Madeline puts on when she needs that moment?

331
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I am I'm such a fan of the song tell

332
00:17:44.240 --> 00:17:47.680
it to my heart. It's just it's just one of

333
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my go tos. Honestly, I can't hate that. I always

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00:17:53.799 --> 00:17:55.559
forget the artist's name.

335
00:17:56.519 --> 00:17:58.920
In the show notes. It's okay, But what else are

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00:17:58.960 --> 00:18:00.920
you going to say?

337
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If I just love any kind of good upbeat music

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whenever's on the radio. I'm just I'm a lover of music.

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And sometimes listening to classical music is very powerful as well,

340
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like that really just brings you to that next level.

341
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I don't know, I just love all music me.

342
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Too, And it's the strings for me in the classical music,

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like the violin, Like I combine a violin with a piano,

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and I like it's like my heart feels at peace.

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I don't know how to describe it. It's just this beautiful.

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There's a song by Lindsay Sterling and don't know, I'm

347
00:18:34.279 --> 00:18:36.599
gonna forget now too, but there's a song by Lindsay

348
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Sterling that was on She just released some clip of

349
00:18:39.799 --> 00:18:42.240
it and I watched it was like a ten second

350
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clip that showed up on my Instagram, and it reset

351
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my entire nervous system. Like I feel the music in

352
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a way that I can't even describe, which is honestly, Madeline,

353
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you know, like this is why you know with my podcast,

354
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the three tools that I have like in my tool

355
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belt that I like to talk about with my mindset,

356
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our music, mindset, and movement. And when all three of

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those things can come together like that is magical for me.

358
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So you know, you're that's when I when I joke,

359
00:19:08.880 --> 00:19:12.039
you're speaking my language. You're absolutely speaking my language. So

360
00:19:12.559 --> 00:19:16.000
thank you for that. And you know what I wanted

361
00:19:16.000 --> 00:19:18.440
to get into a little bit more when you were

362
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talking about the people you never know what somebody's going through,

363
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Like you never really know. It made me think of

364
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this beautiful image that I keep I see different versions

365
00:19:28.680 --> 00:19:30.079
of it and maybe I even saw one on your

366
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on the Successful Female mindset, But the image of people

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walking through like a crosswalk and then there's like or

368
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like on the on like a freeway, and like there's

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little words about it that say like dad died today,

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lost job today, kid got sick today, you know, like

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and it's just you just never know, like what somebody's

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going through. So how do you like reach out, Like

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how do you how do you be the difference in

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the world that we want to see?

375
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It's all about simple gestures, right, That is really for me.

376
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It's the easiest thing to do just to be there

377
00:20:05.240 --> 00:20:08.359
for someone and find a way for them to be

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00:20:09.000 --> 00:20:13.599
to be seen, heard and validated. Just by telling someone, hey,

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I'm seeing you, I'm hearing you like that is so

380
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powerful in itself to again, like I mentioned earlier, just

381
00:20:22.799 --> 00:20:25.039
smiling to someone, giving them a kind word or an

382
00:20:25.079 --> 00:20:27.519
encouraging word. You never know what they need that day.

383
00:20:28.319 --> 00:20:31.240
We're even telling someone hey, I've noticed this about you.

384
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You are very good at doing this thing. This is

385
00:20:34.319 --> 00:20:37.599
showing attention to detail, and this is showing that you

386
00:20:37.640 --> 00:20:41.160
are taking to the time to see this person, understand

387
00:20:41.200 --> 00:20:43.720
how they work and notice that one thing that they

388
00:20:43.759 --> 00:20:47.799
do really really well. And who has ever not appreciated

389
00:20:47.880 --> 00:20:50.559
having someone tell you, Oh, I really appreciate how you're

390
00:20:50.599 --> 00:20:53.920
like your penmanship, or how you're always showing up in

391
00:20:53.960 --> 00:20:55.559
a great mood, or you're always doing this or you're

392
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always doing that. It's that attention to detail. Just taking

393
00:20:58.720 --> 00:21:02.200
a moment to really stop and notice the people around

394
00:21:02.279 --> 00:21:04.680
us and what is it about them that makes them

395
00:21:04.799 --> 00:21:08.640
unique or why do we specifically appreciate them and to

396
00:21:08.799 --> 00:21:12.519
tell them to share, to share it, not be afraid

397
00:21:12.559 --> 00:21:14.720
of it. I'm always asking myself why are we so

398
00:21:14.880 --> 00:21:17.359
scared of Like why are we so quick to hold

399
00:21:17.440 --> 00:21:19.680
back on giving away compliments?

400
00:21:20.119 --> 00:21:20.359
Right?

401
00:21:20.799 --> 00:21:23.279
It baffles me. On the internet, we're very quick to

402
00:21:23.839 --> 00:21:27.119
go in the other direction. But when it comes to

403
00:21:27.160 --> 00:21:30.759
giving people compliments and telling them what we appreciate about them, Hey,

404
00:21:30.799 --> 00:21:32.920
I love your voice, I love how you spoke up here,

405
00:21:33.359 --> 00:21:35.920
I love your ideas, I love your perspective. For some

406
00:21:36.039 --> 00:21:39.519
reason we shy away there and that is definitely something

407
00:21:39.640 --> 00:21:43.279
that we need to encourage more of. And another one

408
00:21:43.279 --> 00:21:45.319
that I find is so important as well is when

409
00:21:45.519 --> 00:21:49.200
someone does confide something in you or wants to talk,

410
00:21:49.559 --> 00:21:51.960
just to ask them how can I support you? Right now?

411
00:21:52.720 --> 00:21:55.440
Because more often than not, we kind of we kind

412
00:21:55.440 --> 00:21:57.720
of get into solution mode. Right someone comes to us

413
00:21:57.720 --> 00:21:59.559
with a situation where like, Okay, I'm going to tell

414
00:21:59.599 --> 00:22:02.839
you how to navigate this. We can't. We are not them.

415
00:22:03.519 --> 00:22:05.400
We do not know what their life story is, we

416
00:22:05.440 --> 00:22:07.759
do not know what they're going on. We know nothing.

417
00:22:07.839 --> 00:22:09.920
So who are we to come and say this is

418
00:22:09.960 --> 00:22:12.440
what you should be doing? How about we just ask

419
00:22:12.480 --> 00:22:14.599
them how can I support you? Would you like me

420
00:22:14.640 --> 00:22:16.400
to sit with you in silence? Do you just need

421
00:22:16.440 --> 00:22:19.000
me to hear you out? Do you need a hug?

422
00:22:19.319 --> 00:22:20.680
Do you need me to get you a little piece

423
00:22:20.680 --> 00:22:22.799
of chocolate? Like what do you need? How can I

424
00:22:22.880 --> 00:22:27.160
support you? And that's sometimes the easiest thing to do

425
00:22:27.279 --> 00:22:29.680
is just asking someone how can I help you? Right now?

426
00:22:29.680 --> 00:22:31.759
What do you need from me? And then we get

427
00:22:31.799 --> 00:22:34.680
to decide how we can help in return, Like there's

428
00:22:34.720 --> 00:22:37.440
also that, but just asking someone what do you need?

429
00:22:37.519 --> 00:22:40.839
And not to decide and advance the help that we

430
00:22:40.880 --> 00:22:41.680
think that they need.

431
00:22:42.640 --> 00:22:45.839
It's a powerful question how can I support you? How

432
00:22:45.839 --> 00:22:49.759
can I help you? And it's actually it's interesting that

433
00:22:49.799 --> 00:22:51.599
you should say that because it's actually part of what

434
00:22:51.680 --> 00:22:55.960
I have found to be part of my abundance mindset, right,

435
00:22:56.000 --> 00:22:58.759
Like an abundance and gratitude are like at the heart

436
00:22:58.799 --> 00:23:01.680
and soul of everything for me. So when and they

437
00:23:01.720 --> 00:23:05.839
are super related because I find that they both used

438
00:23:06.079 --> 00:23:11.359
properly together, they both change literally everything. So asking how

439
00:23:11.400 --> 00:23:13.960
you can help is such a good insight because that

440
00:23:14.200 --> 00:23:19.240
you know opens doors, and it's especially I mean obviously

441
00:23:19.279 --> 00:23:22.160
when it's sincere and real, it's just it can change

442
00:23:22.640 --> 00:23:27.640
so much more than you even know. So speaking on mindset, like,

443
00:23:27.839 --> 00:23:30.680
was there a moment when you realize that your mindset

444
00:23:30.759 --> 00:23:34.200
had to change or shift before your circumstances could and

445
00:23:34.240 --> 00:23:36.119
can you walk us through like what that looked like?

446
00:23:37.960 --> 00:23:42.039
Absolutely? For me, mindset is the foundation because that is

447
00:23:42.079 --> 00:23:47.359
what dictates everything. And it's so important to understand how

448
00:23:47.400 --> 00:23:50.680
your specific mind works as well so that you can

449
00:23:50.880 --> 00:23:52.920
work with it and sway it and get it working

450
00:23:52.960 --> 00:23:56.200
in your favor rather than having it work against you.

451
00:23:56.640 --> 00:23:58.519
So you kind of have to become really buddy buddy

452
00:23:58.559 --> 00:24:02.440
with your mindset and understand and how it works, and

453
00:24:03.039 --> 00:24:07.000
understand how your mindset works specifically and what's holding you back,

454
00:24:07.200 --> 00:24:10.480
because we often have different things holding us back. We

455
00:24:10.559 --> 00:24:14.680
can have our mindset, our thought processes, our beliefs, all

456
00:24:14.720 --> 00:24:17.440
these things that we inherited through our life journey. But

457
00:24:17.480 --> 00:24:20.400
there's also just how our brain is hardwired to protect

458
00:24:20.480 --> 00:24:22.680
us all the time. Right. It loves us so much

459
00:24:22.799 --> 00:24:24.160
that it's like, no, no, no, I don't want you

460
00:24:24.240 --> 00:24:26.160
to step out of your comfort zone. I don't want

461
00:24:26.200 --> 00:24:29.079
you to do things that go into the now. Let's

462
00:24:29.079 --> 00:24:32.319
stay in this little safe space that we know really

463
00:24:32.400 --> 00:24:35.319
really well. And often that is when we need to

464
00:24:35.359 --> 00:24:37.599
have a conversation with our brain and go you know what,

465
00:24:37.799 --> 00:24:39.759
I get that you're coming from a pind caring and

466
00:24:39.839 --> 00:24:42.279
loving place. But right now, I need to do this

467
00:24:42.400 --> 00:24:44.640
for me, and it's okay for me to step outside

468
00:24:44.680 --> 00:24:46.640
my comfort zone because I know that that is where

469
00:24:46.680 --> 00:24:50.079
beautiful things are waiting for me. So there's all about

470
00:24:50.319 --> 00:24:54.079
that with mindset and again using it to work for you,

471
00:24:54.200 --> 00:24:56.839
not against you. I have so many people always telling

472
00:24:56.880 --> 00:24:58.720
me in my practice, oh well, you know, my brain

473
00:24:58.799 --> 00:25:02.079
likes to look for the worst case scenarios. Okay, So

474
00:25:02.119 --> 00:25:05.039
what I'm hearing is your brain has this amazing superpower.

475
00:25:05.359 --> 00:25:07.920
It can go from a single idea and explode it,

476
00:25:08.720 --> 00:25:11.000
you know, have that snowball effect. We just need to

477
00:25:11.079 --> 00:25:14.480
change the direction. The good news is your brain already

478
00:25:14.519 --> 00:25:17.079
has that ability. We just need to shift it. So

479
00:25:17.160 --> 00:25:19.880
you don't need to relearn an entire process. We just

480
00:25:19.960 --> 00:25:23.039
need to shift your brain accordingly. I know, I'm like that.

481
00:25:23.200 --> 00:25:26.279
My brain is like grab one idea and like proof,

482
00:25:27.400 --> 00:25:30.200
it'll go into a million directions. But it's learning to

483
00:25:30.240 --> 00:25:32.960
shift my brain and go, yeah, you're right, if what

484
00:25:33.079 --> 00:25:35.279
if it goes well? What if it all works out?

485
00:25:35.319 --> 00:25:37.039
And then I just tweak my brain to go into

486
00:25:37.119 --> 00:25:41.000
the other direction and really actively force it to look

487
00:25:41.440 --> 00:25:45.720
at the positive outcomes and to not be so scared

488
00:25:45.759 --> 00:25:49.519
of shortcomings. We are so scared of falling, which I

489
00:25:49.559 --> 00:25:52.680
always find so interesting. And you know, I live in Canada.

490
00:25:53.000 --> 00:25:57.480
We've got snow, and every single year I'm scared of falling.

491
00:25:58.319 --> 00:26:01.559
But you know what happens every year. Every year there's

492
00:26:01.799 --> 00:26:03.920
there's a little piece of ice I did not see,

493
00:26:04.160 --> 00:26:06.960
or you know, I slip in the snow. I fall,

494
00:26:07.400 --> 00:26:09.960
And I always tell myself, listen, I could just stay

495
00:26:09.960 --> 00:26:12.839
there and be like, Okay, you know I found the snow.

496
00:26:12.880 --> 00:26:15.519
This is it, Like, just leave me here, find me

497
00:26:15.559 --> 00:26:18.480
in the spray, or I can just you know, I

498
00:26:18.519 --> 00:26:20.640
can just get back up and keep going with my day.

499
00:26:21.279 --> 00:26:23.680
That is the worst thing that can happen is that

500
00:26:23.759 --> 00:26:26.079
I get up and I keep going on with my day.

501
00:26:26.160 --> 00:26:28.400
And maybe one or two people saw it, and of

502
00:26:28.440 --> 00:26:31.119
course I'm in Canada, everyone's going to be rushing over you. Okay,

503
00:26:31.160 --> 00:26:34.000
what can we do? But we have to be we

504
00:26:34.079 --> 00:26:36.799
have to stop being scared of falling and we have

505
00:26:36.920 --> 00:26:39.680
to we have to again, that's another mindset shift that

506
00:26:39.720 --> 00:26:42.240
we need to make when we are rewiring our subconscious

507
00:26:42.279 --> 00:26:45.880
to teach our brains it's okay to try things, because no,

508
00:26:46.039 --> 00:26:49.160
I will not fail. The only thing that I will

509
00:26:49.279 --> 00:26:51.839
have is I will gain experience, I will gain a lesson.

510
00:26:51.839 --> 00:26:54.000
I will realize, Okay, we tried that. That didn't work.

511
00:26:54.039 --> 00:26:56.799
We need to try something else. There can only be

512
00:26:56.880 --> 00:26:59.279
a win, but you need to retrain your brain to

513
00:26:59.319 --> 00:27:01.799
see it that way, because your brain likes to look

514
00:27:01.920 --> 00:27:05.000
for danger all around and you need to cheat it. No,

515
00:27:05.160 --> 00:27:08.799
it's okay, there's actually winds out there, and that is

516
00:27:08.839 --> 00:27:10.839
what we need to focus on. So it's a lot

517
00:27:10.839 --> 00:27:13.079
of deep subconscious work at that level.

518
00:27:13.720 --> 00:27:17.200
The part of your brain that can is strong enough

519
00:27:17.279 --> 00:27:21.599
to picture everything going wrong is also strong enough to

520
00:27:21.640 --> 00:27:26.079
picture everything going right. Like that is that's what you

521
00:27:26.160 --> 00:27:28.920
said in a few less words, and it's it's genius

522
00:27:29.079 --> 00:27:32.839
because like what if instead of asking can I do it?

523
00:27:33.400 --> 00:27:35.599
We say how can I do it? And it's not

524
00:27:35.960 --> 00:27:39.279
it's it's it's it's a small shift, and it's I

525
00:27:39.680 --> 00:27:42.279
do believe that it's a muscle, like I do believe

526
00:27:42.359 --> 00:27:45.960
that as you start to do this work and you

527
00:27:46.000 --> 00:27:49.240
start to recognize, Okay, I fall down every winter, but

528
00:27:49.319 --> 00:27:51.839
I get back up and I don't care what other

529
00:27:51.839 --> 00:27:54.119
people think when I fall down because it's cold and

530
00:27:54.119 --> 00:27:57.599
it's icy and it happens right. So you just keep

531
00:27:57.680 --> 00:28:01.640
getting back up and the muscle to it. It's a

532
00:28:01.680 --> 00:28:05.160
fascinating switch. So I'm grateful you walked us through how

533
00:28:05.160 --> 00:28:09.440
that looks because it's something that it takes practice. But

534
00:28:09.559 --> 00:28:12.000
you're never going to get there if you don't practice it. So,

535
00:28:12.960 --> 00:28:16.400
you know, one of the barriers to that, I feel

536
00:28:16.400 --> 00:28:21.119
like is feeling exhausted or tired or burned out or overwhelmed.

537
00:28:21.160 --> 00:28:23.599
As I'm sorry, but a lot of us do, like

538
00:28:23.640 --> 00:28:25.839
a lot of us, you know, men and women alike,

539
00:28:25.960 --> 00:28:31.160
but women in particular, high achieving women are secretly walking

540
00:28:31.200 --> 00:28:35.720
around dog tired. So how do you define success in

541
00:28:35.759 --> 00:28:38.000
a way that doesn't cost us our peace?

542
00:28:40.599 --> 00:28:43.039
I don't think. I don't think we can define what

543
00:28:43.200 --> 00:28:47.599
success because we're, like you said, we constantly go around

544
00:28:47.640 --> 00:28:51.759
with these three million mental checklists and the mental load

545
00:28:52.519 --> 00:28:56.279
and all of that, and it's trying to navigate it

546
00:28:56.319 --> 00:28:58.400
as best as we can every single day.

547
00:28:58.960 --> 00:29:02.680
So what's the difference between being successful and feeling successful? Like,

548
00:29:02.920 --> 00:29:04.559
how do you how do you work through.

549
00:29:04.400 --> 00:29:09.519
That deciding what is a marker of success for you?

550
00:29:10.359 --> 00:29:13.000
If for you, being successful is the fact that you

551
00:29:13.079 --> 00:29:15.839
woke up, you were healthy, those around you are healthy,

552
00:29:16.119 --> 00:29:18.680
everyone was fed, and everyone had a roof for their

553
00:29:18.720 --> 00:29:23.200
head today. Then there you go. That is success. You

554
00:29:23.240 --> 00:29:26.839
get to decide with what a successful life is. It's

555
00:29:26.960 --> 00:29:29.759
up to you. No one else can decide for you.

556
00:29:29.839 --> 00:29:33.200
We've been told like that, we have this giant checklist

557
00:29:33.200 --> 00:29:36.759
of things that we're supposed to attain. You're probably like me.

558
00:29:36.920 --> 00:29:39.200
We are constantly told every single day our house has

559
00:29:39.200 --> 00:29:42.920
to be perfectly organized at all times. We have to

560
00:29:42.920 --> 00:29:45.720
make everything from scratch, everything needs to be organic, Like

561
00:29:48.160 --> 00:29:49.519
we have to work out, we have to do this,

562
00:29:49.880 --> 00:29:51.680
you know that we somehow have to get one hundred

563
00:29:51.680 --> 00:29:54.920
and fifty grands approaching every single day, Like it just

564
00:29:55.079 --> 00:29:59.079
gets so much, and it's it's take the list down

565
00:29:59.319 --> 00:30:03.559
and what's really important, what's really going to make a difference?

566
00:30:04.039 --> 00:30:07.680
And I remember I had heard this on another podcast

567
00:30:07.799 --> 00:30:10.319
and I just thought it was like the most fabulous

568
00:30:10.359 --> 00:30:13.759
thing ever to ask yourself, will this matter in five minutes?

569
00:30:13.880 --> 00:30:16.119
Will this matter in five weeks? Will this matter in

570
00:30:16.160 --> 00:30:18.680
five days and five months and in five years? And

571
00:30:18.759 --> 00:30:22.160
if the answer is no, then it doesn't really matter.

572
00:30:22.839 --> 00:30:24.799
You know, in five years, it will matter to me

573
00:30:24.960 --> 00:30:28.640
that everyone was safe and happy in my home, you know,

574
00:30:28.839 --> 00:30:32.039
whether they had the perfectly organic snack right off, Liza,

575
00:30:32.039 --> 00:30:33.960
I'm going to do the best I can. So we

576
00:30:34.119 --> 00:30:37.400
just have to shift our focus and make a shorter

577
00:30:38.160 --> 00:30:41.759
checklist of what a successful life means to us. And

578
00:30:41.799 --> 00:30:44.720
then it's how can we bring a little more joy?

579
00:30:44.960 --> 00:30:47.680
Like I said, it's pockets of joy every single day?

580
00:30:47.960 --> 00:30:49.759
How can I take something that I need to do

581
00:30:49.880 --> 00:30:52.799
anyways and just have a little more fun with it

582
00:30:52.839 --> 00:30:56.359
because we cannot add more onto our plate. We just can't.

583
00:30:56.400 --> 00:30:58.160
There's no more room on the plate. We need to

584
00:30:58.240 --> 00:31:03.680
clear things off. How can I have more quality and

585
00:31:03.720 --> 00:31:07.000
focus on that rather than focusing on the quantity of things.

586
00:31:07.000 --> 00:31:10.039
How can I have more quality time, more quality conversations,

587
00:31:10.079 --> 00:31:14.240
more quality moments. That is how you get out of

588
00:31:14.240 --> 00:31:17.599
that burnout and everything, because otherwise, if it's just adding more,

589
00:31:17.640 --> 00:31:20.480
you're going to be more exhausted. But if you're taking

590
00:31:20.559 --> 00:31:24.160
off things, Notice how your shoulders are probably feeling right now.

591
00:31:24.200 --> 00:31:26.680
The idea of taking things off and just enjoying more

592
00:31:26.680 --> 00:31:28.720
of a moment, you're probably a lot less stressed in

593
00:31:28.759 --> 00:31:29.680
your shoulders right now.

594
00:31:29.759 --> 00:31:34.640
Right, Yes, I mean, and you spoke to joy, which

595
00:31:34.680 --> 00:31:38.279
is my like, my one of my favorite words, because

596
00:31:38.759 --> 00:31:41.319
I you know, you talk about choosing joy and it

597
00:31:41.319 --> 00:31:45.359
sounds like this like super ethereal hard to define thing

598
00:31:46.000 --> 00:31:48.519
or not. I mean, it really doesn't have to be.

599
00:31:48.799 --> 00:31:51.839
And that's what I find is that I associate joy

600
00:31:51.880 --> 00:31:55.839
with gratitude honestly, so as you may or may not know,

601
00:31:55.960 --> 00:31:58.720
I have a practice on social media that I call

602
00:31:58.839 --> 00:32:01.359
joy from the ground up where I ask people what

603
00:32:01.400 --> 00:32:04.799
they're grateful for on a like as close to a

604
00:32:04.880 --> 00:32:07.559
daily basis as I can, just to stop and say, hey,

605
00:32:07.559 --> 00:32:11.359
stop the scroll and find something right now that you're

606
00:32:11.359 --> 00:32:14.079
grateful for. It could be And the thing, the thing

607
00:32:14.200 --> 00:32:16.759
is you you get more of what you look for.

608
00:32:17.240 --> 00:32:20.880
So like you're you're practicing to look for the joy

609
00:32:20.920 --> 00:32:23.039
and to look and it doesn't have to be something huge,

610
00:32:23.160 --> 00:32:25.160
like it could just be that the sun is shining today.

611
00:32:25.200 --> 00:32:27.680
Like you and I both live in a place where

612
00:32:27.960 --> 00:32:31.559
it's it's dark and gray and cold and miserable this

613
00:32:31.680 --> 00:32:34.759
time of year, where it's it's just it's you have

614
00:32:34.839 --> 00:32:37.680
to find a way to create your own sunshine, and

615
00:32:37.680 --> 00:32:40.319
that that's it's that too, is another muscle that we

616
00:32:40.400 --> 00:32:44.000
practice with. So how do you how do you? I

617
00:32:44.039 --> 00:32:46.599
mean I'm trying to think, like, how do you how

618
00:32:46.599 --> 00:32:48.640
do you do that though, Like I I know how

619
00:32:48.680 --> 00:32:50.680
to do it because I've been like I practice it

620
00:32:50.720 --> 00:32:54.359
every single day, and it's it can be difficult, you know,

621
00:32:54.400 --> 00:32:57.720
particularly if somebody is like feeling stuck or feeling behind.

622
00:32:58.160 --> 00:33:01.680
So like, what's a small set shift that somebody who

623
00:33:01.759 --> 00:33:04.559
is I guess feeling stuck or behind could make today

624
00:33:04.839 --> 00:33:09.119
just one small thing to change to change things for

625
00:33:09.240 --> 00:33:15.000
better for them.

626
00:33:12.599 --> 00:33:15.839
When in order to take away that overwhelm and for

627
00:33:15.920 --> 00:33:18.720
some people, like you said that jump to joy is

628
00:33:18.880 --> 00:33:20.759
quite a big step and we don't need to make

629
00:33:20.799 --> 00:33:24.599
it right away. Sometimes it's just saying, what is the

630
00:33:24.680 --> 00:33:27.319
tiniest little step that you can take that today that

631
00:33:27.440 --> 00:33:29.640
is taking you a little closer to where you want

632
00:33:29.680 --> 00:33:32.839
to go? You know what's that time? And it can

633
00:33:32.839 --> 00:33:36.319
be the tiniest little step. It can be just sitting

634
00:33:36.319 --> 00:33:38.960
down and reading one page of a book because you

635
00:33:39.039 --> 00:33:41.480
know that that is something that will make a difference

636
00:33:41.519 --> 00:33:44.359
in your day. Then sit down and read one page

637
00:33:44.440 --> 00:33:47.039
if that's all you can fit in, do that. If

638
00:33:47.079 --> 00:33:49.440
your goal is to read a whole book, just focus

639
00:33:49.480 --> 00:33:52.960
on reading that first page. It doesn't need to be big.

640
00:33:53.359 --> 00:33:56.519
If for you your goal is to just sit down

641
00:33:56.599 --> 00:33:59.440
and take a breath. How many of us actually stop

642
00:33:59.640 --> 00:34:03.240
to just take a real breath in a day. We're

643
00:34:03.279 --> 00:34:06.759
constantly like just breathing it out, and honestly, sometimes we're

644
00:34:06.799 --> 00:34:10.639
so close to hyperventilating, but it doesn't really show. So

645
00:34:10.760 --> 00:34:13.239
just taking the time to just actually just take a

646
00:34:13.280 --> 00:34:16.559
deep breath, to just breathe in for four seconds, hold

647
00:34:16.559 --> 00:34:19.400
it for two seconds, and exhale for eight seconds. It

648
00:34:19.400 --> 00:34:21.960
can be as simple as that. That right there, that

649
00:34:22.079 --> 00:34:24.719
is a gratitude moment where we are being grateful for

650
00:34:24.760 --> 00:34:27.199
the ability to breathe and we are joyful about the

651
00:34:27.239 --> 00:34:30.519
fact that our body remembers how to do it and

652
00:34:30.559 --> 00:34:32.960
we don't have to think about it, so it can

653
00:34:33.000 --> 00:34:36.440
be It's all about deciding what is successful for you

654
00:34:36.880 --> 00:34:40.119
and how can you be more present in those moments.

655
00:34:40.400 --> 00:34:42.480
So before we go into joy, it's just how can

656
00:34:42.519 --> 00:34:46.840
we just be more present and just acknowledge what is

657
00:34:47.159 --> 00:34:49.800
working right now. It doesn't have to be great or anything,

658
00:34:49.920 --> 00:34:52.440
just what is working right now. Hey, I can see

659
00:34:52.519 --> 00:34:56.159
right now, my eyes work. I'm going to focus on

660
00:34:56.199 --> 00:34:59.920
the fact that I can see color, I can see birds,

661
00:35:00.119 --> 00:35:02.719
I can see you know, I can see all the

662
00:35:02.719 --> 00:35:05.440
colorful books in your background. I can see all of

663
00:35:05.480 --> 00:35:09.320
those things. Let's just focus on that. Let's just focus

664
00:35:09.320 --> 00:35:11.480
on all the things I can see around me, on

665
00:35:11.519 --> 00:35:13.360
the things that I can touch around me, on the

666
00:35:13.400 --> 00:35:16.440
things that I hear. Just take it down a notch.

667
00:35:16.559 --> 00:35:18.920
And we have to stop putting that pressure on ourselves.

668
00:35:19.159 --> 00:35:20.920
And I think that that is something that we have

669
00:35:20.960 --> 00:35:23.760
a lot right now. It's all about always doing more

670
00:35:23.920 --> 00:35:28.280
and everything feels so big. And that was also part

671
00:35:28.320 --> 00:35:30.920
of my journey about having like a success mindset is

672
00:35:31.760 --> 00:35:33.679
everyone's always like, oh, you have to find your purpose,

673
00:35:33.760 --> 00:35:37.360
you have to find your thing. It always sounded so big.

674
00:35:37.400 --> 00:35:40.480
I'm like, that's scary. How can we take it down

675
00:35:40.519 --> 00:35:43.199
the notch? So I'm always telling people, like, if you're

676
00:35:43.199 --> 00:35:45.760
telling everyone we have to go climb that mount Everest,

677
00:35:45.880 --> 00:35:48.000
of course we're all going to freak out like that,

678
00:35:48.679 --> 00:35:51.079
this is huge. How can we just talk about Can

679
00:35:51.119 --> 00:35:54.159
we just talk about taking that first little step? So

680
00:35:54.239 --> 00:35:56.159
let's take it down the notache. Just take off that

681
00:35:56.239 --> 00:35:58.519
pressure and just focus on being.

682
00:36:00.519 --> 00:36:04.159
Quick before you forget, what's one truth about success that

683
00:36:04.199 --> 00:36:06.280
you wish every woman deeply believed.

684
00:36:12.039 --> 00:36:17.159
Take care of you, to take care of you, and

685
00:36:18.960 --> 00:36:21.719
listen when your body is talking to you, because your

686
00:36:21.719 --> 00:36:25.719
body is your biggest ally, so listen to it. If

687
00:36:25.760 --> 00:36:29.719
it's telling you something's off, please listen to it.

688
00:36:29.719 --> 00:36:32.880
It starts with you, honestly, and that speaks to the

689
00:36:32.960 --> 00:36:36.639
self love element of things, where you know, there was

690
00:36:36.679 --> 00:36:40.840
an illustration at a conference that I went to about

691
00:36:40.840 --> 00:36:42.719
a vase, and I think I may have shared this

692
00:36:42.760 --> 00:36:45.519
story with you once already, so I apologize, Madeline, but

693
00:36:45.559 --> 00:36:47.440
I know I haven't shared it on the podcast. So

694
00:36:47.840 --> 00:36:50.960
there's a story about a vase and how you know,

695
00:36:51.239 --> 00:36:53.840
a lot of especially women, but it can be men

696
00:36:53.960 --> 00:36:58.360
or women, but especially women have this moment where they're

697
00:36:58.519 --> 00:37:00.519
this vase and this is my cup that I'm showing you,

698
00:37:00.559 --> 00:37:03.360
but they're a vase and they pour, poor, poor, poor, poor,

699
00:37:03.440 --> 00:37:05.760
and like the vase falls over, it cracks, it breaks

700
00:37:06.039 --> 00:37:09.480
because they're constantly pouring from it. And it was my

701
00:37:09.760 --> 00:37:12.440
This was a huge shift for me because I realized

702
00:37:12.960 --> 00:37:16.360
at this conference, I realized that you couldn't you can

703
00:37:16.440 --> 00:37:18.880
also instead of doing this and this and this and breaking,

704
00:37:19.239 --> 00:37:23.440
you can just stand tall and let the world and

705
00:37:23.519 --> 00:37:26.039
the goodness and all of the all of the self

706
00:37:26.079 --> 00:37:30.239
love like pour into you first, like it's It was

707
00:37:30.280 --> 00:37:33.119
a full shift for me because you can let that happen,

708
00:37:33.519 --> 00:37:35.639
you can stand tall, you can have it happen, and

709
00:37:35.679 --> 00:37:39.840
then it overflows. It's this beautiful thing like I and

710
00:37:39.920 --> 00:37:42.840
it was so foreign to me as like a full

711
00:37:43.000 --> 00:37:47.719
on people pleaser my whole life. I realized that I

712
00:37:47.880 --> 00:37:52.679
was actually a better people pleaser as a somebody that

713
00:37:52.719 --> 00:37:55.280
took care of me first, Like you have to take

714
00:37:55.320 --> 00:37:58.360
care of loving on yourself, and it will overflow. It

715
00:37:58.440 --> 00:38:01.199
will have the impact that you hope it will. But

716
00:38:01.760 --> 00:38:03.519
that's a scary thing too, because you have to just

717
00:38:03.599 --> 00:38:07.519
trust that eventually the base will overflow, because sometimes it

718
00:38:07.559 --> 00:38:10.840
feels very very empty because of all all the things. Right,

719
00:38:10.880 --> 00:38:13.400
like you talk through all of the different obligations and

720
00:38:13.480 --> 00:38:16.480
the overwhelm and just like everything that can happen, and

721
00:38:16.480 --> 00:38:21.320
it's like it's a heavy, heavy load, but you can

722
00:38:21.360 --> 00:38:25.760
also like find the find the love in it for yourself.

723
00:38:26.079 --> 00:38:31.519
So I'm so grateful for our conversation and I could talk,

724
00:38:31.800 --> 00:38:34.320
I could talk to you for hours, but I want

725
00:38:34.360 --> 00:38:37.159
to know, like what is a relationship or a connection

726
00:38:37.719 --> 00:38:39.079
that shaped who you are?

727
00:38:41.800 --> 00:38:46.239
That would definitely be my husband. He is the most

728
00:38:46.440 --> 00:38:51.000
grounding force in my life. That's not okay, there's my

729
00:38:51.159 --> 00:38:56.920
son too, right, so you find my family, but definitely

730
00:38:56.960 --> 00:39:00.440
my husband. He just he he grounds me and he

731
00:39:00.920 --> 00:39:04.960
brings so much perspective to everything, and he just he

732
00:39:04.960 --> 00:39:07.280
helps me navigate it. We're a team. We go through

733
00:39:07.320 --> 00:39:11.840
this together. So I have to give him credit for

734
00:39:12.199 --> 00:39:16.559
for a lot of that. So yeah, love that he's

735
00:39:16.599 --> 00:39:19.280
a philosopher too, like he always has. He always has

736
00:39:19.320 --> 00:39:22.119
a way of bringing perspective or helping me see things

737
00:39:22.119 --> 00:39:26.000
in a different way. So yeah, I think he would

738
00:39:26.000 --> 00:39:27.480
be one of those meaningful connections.

739
00:39:27.480 --> 00:39:29.880
Definitely we need something. We need people like that in

740
00:39:29.880 --> 00:39:32.960
our lives who can kind of balance and complement things

741
00:39:33.320 --> 00:39:37.920
very well. And I want to know, like, what is

742
00:39:37.960 --> 00:39:40.840
a what would you tell your twenty two year old self?

743
00:39:41.039 --> 00:39:41.840
If you could.

744
00:39:43.440 --> 00:39:47.039
By my twenty two year old self, I would tell

745
00:39:47.039 --> 00:39:52.800
her that it's okay to slow down. You are enough

746
00:39:53.159 --> 00:39:54.320
and be enough for you.

747
00:39:57.000 --> 00:40:00.519
I felt that in my heart. I needed to hear

748
00:40:00.559 --> 00:40:02.920
that today. I guess because I literally like I took

749
00:40:03.039 --> 00:40:05.679
if you're not watching, first of all, go watch instead

750
00:40:05.679 --> 00:40:07.840
of listen because the watching is more fun. But if

751
00:40:07.840 --> 00:40:10.000
you're not watching, I literally can see, like I literally

752
00:40:10.039 --> 00:40:13.440
like breathe the deep breath and felt better that Madeline

753
00:40:13.480 --> 00:40:17.320
was saying that. So, because you're so good at doing that,

754
00:40:17.480 --> 00:40:19.320
I want to I want to give you like a

755
00:40:19.639 --> 00:40:23.559
megaphone and say, hey, Madeline, if you had everybody listening

756
00:40:23.559 --> 00:40:25.559
to you right now, you had this megaphone and you

757
00:40:25.679 --> 00:40:28.440
had one message that you could communicate that you know

758
00:40:28.519 --> 00:40:31.159
that everybody would hear. What would you say?

759
00:40:33.880 --> 00:40:40.360
I would say to just be kind to yourself, give

760
00:40:40.360 --> 00:40:43.800
your self love, and give yourself grace. You were showing

761
00:40:43.880 --> 00:40:48.559
up every single day. Celebrate that, own it, treasure it,

762
00:40:49.519 --> 00:40:51.719
and know that everything that you were doing every single

763
00:40:51.800 --> 00:40:53.920
day you were doing for you, and you were doing

764
00:40:54.000 --> 00:40:56.159
it for every past version of you, and you were

765
00:40:56.159 --> 00:40:59.280
doing it for every future version of you. So do

766
00:40:59.400 --> 00:41:02.320
it for you. You were enough for you?

767
00:41:04.159 --> 00:41:09.239
Who thank you? I I like.

768
00:41:09.440 --> 00:41:11.079
We had a full circle moment today.

769
00:41:11.519 --> 00:41:15.000
We did. We did, and it's it's beyond any any comprehension,

770
00:41:15.320 --> 00:41:19.400
quite honestly. So I have a couple to wrap us up.

771
00:41:19.440 --> 00:41:22.440
I have a couple of like more quick hitting things

772
00:41:22.639 --> 00:41:24.639
you can talk about longer. It doesn't have to be

773
00:41:24.679 --> 00:41:27.079
like a one sentence answer just because I said quick hitting,

774
00:41:27.079 --> 00:41:29.920
but there's more of like a quick hitting run through

775
00:41:30.480 --> 00:41:33.119
with a few questions So I'm gonna start with quick

776
00:41:33.159 --> 00:41:36.599
before you forget, start the thing now or wait till

777
00:41:36.639 --> 00:41:37.119
you're ready.

778
00:41:38.639 --> 00:41:42.280
Start it now, don't wait, go for it if it's

779
00:41:42.280 --> 00:41:45.119
in your heart, if it's calling you, go ahead and

780
00:41:45.159 --> 00:41:47.800
do it. Because life is happening right now. Stop throwing

781
00:41:47.800 --> 00:41:50.440
it in tomorrow land. Okay, we're in today land and

782
00:41:50.480 --> 00:41:51.480
we are embracing it.

783
00:41:51.960 --> 00:41:55.880
Heck yeah, we are. Quick Before you forget what matters

784
00:41:55.960 --> 00:42:03.639
most to Madeline right now, family and my health. What

785
00:42:03.760 --> 00:42:11.039
does resilience actually look like on an ordinary Tuesday.

786
00:42:11.079 --> 00:42:15.400
It's a reminder that I not just me, but anyone.

787
00:42:15.599 --> 00:42:19.639
We've overcome so much and we have survived of all

788
00:42:19.679 --> 00:42:22.079
of our days. We have survived one hundred percent of

789
00:42:22.119 --> 00:42:25.679
every season in our life so far. And it's to

790
00:42:25.880 --> 00:42:29.559
trust that that because we've survived all of this so far,

791
00:42:29.639 --> 00:42:33.559
we can survive anything coming our way. We've done it before,

792
00:42:33.880 --> 00:42:34.800
we will do it again.

793
00:42:36.119 --> 00:42:38.320
Do you have a song We talked about songs that

794
00:42:38.360 --> 00:42:40.800
made you feel grounded and feel good. Do you have

795
00:42:40.800 --> 00:42:41.800
a song of survival?

796
00:42:41.960 --> 00:42:42.039
Like?

797
00:42:42.159 --> 00:42:45.000
Is there one song in particular that like pops out

798
00:42:45.039 --> 00:42:46.760
as like this is the song you put on when

799
00:42:46.800 --> 00:42:49.480
you're low and it brings you back.

800
00:42:51.360 --> 00:42:53.760
I know this might sound weird to say, but anything

801
00:42:53.800 --> 00:42:56.480
from nickelback and it just helps.

802
00:42:57.039 --> 00:43:00.039
That's not what I wouldn't expected at all, and I

803
00:43:00.159 --> 00:43:01.199
here for it. Tell me more.

804
00:43:02.719 --> 00:43:06.280
I just find that everything that they sing about is

805
00:43:06.320 --> 00:43:08.239
like you can go through a whole life journey just

806
00:43:08.239 --> 00:43:11.280
by listening to one of their albums. Because I've especially

807
00:43:11.440 --> 00:43:14.840
one of their first breakthrough album I just thought it

808
00:43:15.000 --> 00:43:17.960
brought me back and it helped me put things into perspective,

809
00:43:18.079 --> 00:43:20.960
and it just reminded me that there is good out there.

810
00:43:21.000 --> 00:43:23.840
We can overcome things. I don't know. I just I

811
00:43:24.000 --> 00:43:27.239
like the messaging in their songs, so that's good. I

812
00:43:27.239 --> 00:43:29.360
can't feel bad after hearing one of their I don't know,

813
00:43:29.440 --> 00:43:31.400
just singing along to their songs, I know I'll feel

814
00:43:31.440 --> 00:43:34.519
instantly great after because whatever I need to work through,

815
00:43:34.559 --> 00:43:36.639
I will work through it with them in their song,

816
00:43:36.800 --> 00:43:39.639
and then afterwards I can excel it out.

817
00:43:39.880 --> 00:43:43.920
Yes, we breathe in the good and excel out the bad.

818
00:43:44.599 --> 00:43:48.760
I haven't remember the trick, but I got it, Madeline.

819
00:43:48.760 --> 00:43:52.840
Picture your eightieth birthday. Okay, so we've done some past,

820
00:43:52.960 --> 00:43:54.679
we've done some present, and now we're going to do

821
00:43:54.760 --> 00:43:59.519
some future. So picture your eightieth birthday. I know that

822
00:43:59.559 --> 00:44:02.800
the who part is hard, like who do you want there?

823
00:44:02.880 --> 00:44:05.320
But the what is important to me. So what do

824
00:44:05.360 --> 00:44:12.679
you want people to say about you on your eightieth birthday?

825
00:44:13.400 --> 00:44:18.000
I want people as I want people to remember how

826
00:44:18.039 --> 00:44:20.960
I made them feel, and I want people to remember

827
00:44:21.039 --> 00:44:25.679
that this is someone whom I felt safe, I felt comfortable,

828
00:44:25.760 --> 00:44:28.719
and I felt seen, heard and validated. With that for

829
00:44:28.840 --> 00:44:32.159
me is if I can do that I've lived the

830
00:44:32.199 --> 00:44:33.199
best life ever.

831
00:44:34.159 --> 00:44:36.599
Yes you have, and I can say already that, of

832
00:44:36.719 --> 00:44:40.559
course we're a ways out from eighty right, but I

833
00:44:40.760 --> 00:44:42.800
know that you've done that for me, and that's why

834
00:44:42.840 --> 00:44:45.360
I'm just so grateful that you're here, Because you know,

835
00:44:45.480 --> 00:44:48.960
I had I had a really good conversation with another

836
00:44:49.800 --> 00:44:54.119
guest named Jason Fitz and he paid me the I

837
00:44:54.119 --> 00:44:58.239
think the best compliment that I've probably gotten in a

838
00:44:58.239 --> 00:45:01.519
long time, which was for well, he cried twice in

839
00:45:01.559 --> 00:45:04.360
our in our conversation, and he didn't He's a sports guy,

840
00:45:04.519 --> 00:45:07.039
so he didn't expect to cry. He was kind of

841
00:45:07.039 --> 00:45:09.239
embarrassed that he cried, but then at the end he

842
00:45:09.320 --> 00:45:12.320
was grateful that he cried because he cried because he

843
00:45:12.360 --> 00:45:18.360
had feelings that needed to come out, and the compliment

844
00:45:18.559 --> 00:45:22.519
was that I made him feel emotionally safe and that

845
00:45:22.679 --> 00:45:26.400
was honestly, like I put that on my tombstone right

846
00:45:26.480 --> 00:45:29.079
like that is that is a good that so we

847
00:45:29.519 --> 00:45:31.880
It doesn't surprise me that you said what you said

848
00:45:32.000 --> 00:45:36.079
because we're friends and I know you and I know

849
00:45:36.199 --> 00:45:38.599
the how. I just know how good you are at

850
00:45:38.599 --> 00:45:42.760
that and I am personally grateful for everything that you

851
00:45:42.840 --> 00:45:46.280
do to make the world a better place. And I

852
00:45:46.440 --> 00:45:50.000
just needed to say that because I can already say

853
00:45:50.119 --> 00:45:52.519
as your friend, but as a follower and somebody that's

854
00:45:52.519 --> 00:45:55.159
watched what you're building, you know you're you're doing it.

855
00:45:55.239 --> 00:45:59.360
You're you're you're living a dream and it's been you've

856
00:45:59.360 --> 00:46:02.559
been in spray to me. So thank you, honestly, from

857
00:46:02.559 --> 00:46:05.079
the bottom of my heart. I appreciate you. Is there

858
00:46:05.159 --> 00:46:08.119
anything that I didn't ask that you want to add

859
00:46:08.239 --> 00:46:08.639
or share?

860
00:46:11.679 --> 00:46:14.719
I think that's something that is just really important to me.

861
00:46:14.800 --> 00:46:18.000
Is I just want everyone the biggest takeaway today is

862
00:46:18.440 --> 00:46:20.920
be kind to yourself and be kind to someone else.

863
00:46:20.920 --> 00:46:23.559
I would just like to challenge everyone to do that today.

864
00:46:24.159 --> 00:46:26.960
Be kind to yourself and be kind to someone else.

865
00:46:27.639 --> 00:46:30.639
Let's create that ripple let's be the change that we

866
00:46:30.719 --> 00:46:33.880
want to see and let's put it into action. Let's go,

867
00:46:34.000 --> 00:46:35.559
let's do it.

868
00:46:35.559 --> 00:46:38.960
It's easier with people that agree and are doing the

869
00:46:38.960 --> 00:46:41.280
same thing. It's just like we're all doing it together

870
00:46:41.480 --> 00:46:44.159
and that's a beautiful thing. So thank you, Madeline. I

871
00:46:44.239 --> 00:46:48.000
appreciate you. And that is all for this time, so

872
00:46:48.039 --> 00:46:50.079
I'll see you next time on Click Before You Forget.

873
00:46:51.320 --> 00:46:54.039
Thank you for being here with me today on Click

874
00:46:54.119 --> 00:46:57.400
Before You Forget. Please like, share and subscribe as that

875
00:46:57.480 --> 00:47:00.280
helps the show so much and I really appreciate lot

876
00:47:00.320 --> 00:47:01.239
it and I'll.

877
00:47:01.079 --> 00:47:05.800
See you next time on Quick Before You Forget. H