Quick Before I Forget: Introducing the Emo Roller Coaster Gal

0:00 I feel like I found my purpose. I found my calling. And the reason that it feels so right is because it's like people are saying it's helping them. And honestly, friends, that is like the whole point. This feels unreal. I am going to talk anyway. And it's going to be great. We're going to have a great time. Hello and welcome to Quick Before You Forget. Me? Okay, this is weird.

0:47 Because usually I have, like, another human with me. And I realize now that, like, lucky you, you're the other human today. And I'm so grateful. I'm so excited. I'm so happy. I'm so, like, amped. So amped that you're here. Yeah. Thank you. So I got this idea. I got this idea for a podcast a while back called Quick Before I Forget. Because at 35 years old, I had a doctor tell me that I needed a liver transplant. That same doctor and a whole team of other doctors also told me that my brain was operating at a level that didn't make sense. They were surprised I could remember things.

1:31 They were surprised that I could talk as eloquently and thoughtfully as I could. They kind of implied that my memory and all the issues that I have with my memory are likely related to the fact that my health was in the situation that my health was in. So I came up with this idea quick before I forget, because I thought maybe I could share my story and I thought maybe there'd be people that would want to listen to it. And I think that's accurate. Like, I think I meant to share this story because a few years later, so I was 35 years old when I was told that I needed a liver transplant. 35 years old. Like, just let that sink in for a second. My MELD score, for those of you that don't know, a MELD score is a model end stage liver disease score. My MELD score was bad enough that they thought I needed a liver transplant soon. At 35 years old. And now those same doctors at 30, I'm so bad at keeping track. See, this is the quick before I forget part of things.

2:41 So I'm so bad at keeping track. So the doctors only a few years later, so I'm going to say I was 38. I think I was 38 when they said, Ty, I don't want to cry. Your liver is basically normal. Now, granted, I had lost at the time, maybe 60 pounds and trimmed probably at the time, like 15 inches off of my waist. And I was feeling alive and I was feeling so good. And the doctors, the same doctor, the same doctor that told me that I was going to need a liver transplant said, Ty, you are a miracle.

3:28 You are a miracle. He said that to me and it was like a seed was planted in my heart because I am a miracle and it has been a hell of a bumpy ride since then. So I believe that I coped very poorly with my life things. I know it. I own it. It is what it is. I coped very poorly with my life. I sought refuge. At the bottom of a bottle of vodka I hid in my closet. For years. For way longer. And for way more than I ever possibly. I never should have been doing that. I never was diagnosed as an alcoholic.

4:15 But I would drink so much vodka. It's the story for another day. The story for today is that I am here. Because I believe that I am meant to share my story. I believed that I was meant to share my story when I left the hospital that day and the doctor had said I was the miracle. I was a miracle and I am a miracle because I've chosen to feel the light. I have chosen to let the light shine from my soul into the world in ways that don't make sense. My life on paper doesn't make any sense. You have to honestly go see it.

5:01 This is very real for me because I have very intentionally and thoughtfully laid out an entire life story on the internet. I know friends and people that haven't even posted once on Facebook on purpose. I'm fully opposite of that. I have been using social media as a very public Super private journal for most of my life. And maybe that's a symptom of being a millennial. Probably. I do have one too many Facebook albums that, you know, are embarrassing. We all do, right? But I feel like I know that I was meant to be sharing and documenting the whole journey. The ups and the downs and the twists and the turns and the drops. Guys. That's the emo rollercoaster gal. I was meant to share this with you because I was meant to be the light that I needed.

6:04 I needed light and I found it. Like I, I found it in so much of these things that you see behind me in the books, in the music, in the lore. Okay. Everything behind me tells part of my story. I keep, I'm almost like I, everything behind me tells part of my story here and on the internet. So I have an idea about that. But first I need to pause. Are you still with me? If you're still with me, please comment something. Comment the most interesting thing that I've said so far. Because I really, I really want to know why am I whispering? I don't know why I'm whispering. I did this thing this week. It happened after I had spent some time with people that don't make sense. So without belaboring the huge long story, I'm going to tell you the short version, which is a week ago, a week ago today, actually, I was invited along with a dear friend of mine to go on an adventure that involved spending time with Chris Carrabba.

7:25 of Dashboard Confessional, and Joe King from The Fray, Ben Wysocki from The Fray, and everybody, everybody from The Fray and Dashboard. And it happened at the Huntington Bank Pavilion at Northern Island in Chicago. It was like my 18,000th time in Chicago this year, which is a whole other sidebar story. But it happened in Chicago last week, and it felt like a turning point for me And then I got home and I was looking at the episodes that I had to share, my quick before you forget episodes. I was like, I had taped close, a little over 40 episodes in the course of time. I actually started taping quick before you forget in like within a week or two of a not so great job transition that happened to me earlier this year. It didn't happen to me.

8:20 It happened for me, by the way. I started taping quick before you forget. Earlier this year, almost immediately after this awful thing happened and my life flipped upside down for the second time in less than a year. But that's again, another sidebar story. I found myself feeling lost and also feeling like I didn't understand God's plan. And I like, honestly, can you relate? I feel like you could relate. So lost, what in God's good name is his plan? I don't know. I will. But you know what? I have surrendered it. And since then, if you don't know what the year of the fire horse is, go look it up. Go look it up. Because since the year of the fire horse started, my, what I call my yellow brick road has gotten unreal. Like it was unreal before granted, but it has gotten more unreal case and point. Last week, Saturday, I'm walking around backstage at a venue in Chicago with the Chris Carraba and the Joe King and also the Ivy Palmer, who deserves more than a shout out, but that's all you're getting for today.

9:43 So I'm walking around at this venue and it was reflecting on that day, the following day, looking at my episodes of the podcast that led me here. Because I was looking at the episodes that I had already taped and I taped a bunch of them. Like I taped like over 40 and it was all done by like mid-May. So I taped like 40 episodes in a relatively short period of time with a bunch of abundant, kind, amazing humans. If you haven't looked at those episodes, this, this is your reminder, please quick before you forget, go look at all those other episodes because they're amazing. And they feature these humans that have these stories that lit my soul on fire. All right. So I was at the bottom of the barrel. I had like five or six episodes left to air and the perfect one. I stumbled on the perfect one for the last episode of what I decided in real time, because I can. was going to be the last episode of season one of Quick Before You Forget. Welcome to season two. I'm so pumped. So this is season two because I decided that last episode, there's a couple others that I'm going to need to re-tape because of sound issues or quality issues, but that was the last episode. And then I realized that like some of the best advice I've gotten has been to just do what's working. Figure out what works and And do more of that. So I realized that what's working

11:15 for me in real time is the emo rollercoaster gal. Now, if you're new here, buckle up literally, because the emo rollercoaster gal is my moniker. It's if you Google it, it will Google emo rollercoaster gal. You'll find everything that I've posted in the last six months or so that has my rollercoaster content, which I created. synced so perfectly, poetically and cinematically perfectly to Taylor Swift bridges mostly. And it's been so fun. And I felt like, I feel like I found my purpose. I found my calling. And the reason that it feels so right is because it's like people are saying it's helping them. And honestly, friends, that is like the whole point. Like the whole dang point of Quick Before You Forget, which by the way, the description has meaning. Every single word, this is so cool because this is like the first time that I'm really diving into this. So Quick Before You Forget is a personal growth and development podcast aimed at helping you build your unreal life from the ground up using tools like music, mindset, and movement to remember who you are while you build who you're meant to be. Y'all, that's what I'm doing in real time. That's what I've been documenting this whole dang time. And you're here and you

12:46 get to see it and you get to be with me. And that is the whole point of my story of the yellow brick road is that it's not meant to be experienced by yourself. It's not meant to be experienced by by yourself or alone or in the darkness. Nay, oh boy, oh no, I got carried away and hit the microphone. Nay, it is supposed to be experienced together. The people, the connection. Y'all, I have been talking about connection on the internet for years, for literally years. I have been talking about the importance of human connection and the role it plays in literally saving our lives in real time for years. And it's happening in these rollercoaster videos.

13:34 I get DMs now every single day from people saying, thank you. This makes me feel seen. Thank you. Your videos are helping me process grief. Thank you. Your videos are such, I look forward to them every day. What? I get emotional because that is the point. So I realized something. When I was working on what became my last episode of season one of quick before you forget. And that was that I had been doing the safe thing. I had been doing the comfy cozy thing that I love to do, which is connecting with people and hearing their stories and honestly offering a place for them to share it. I have gotten so many compliments on how I can ask the real questions that A dear new friend of mine, Dr. Nikki Tobias, actually paid me the kindest compliment this week. She said, Ty sees souls. I mean, put that on my tombstone. But also, this part is, this is hard for me. It might not seem like it to you, but like this part, this like just talking to you part is scary for me. And that has a lot to do with a lot of different things that, I mean, honestly, some things that I can't even say out loud. But I had this era of my life that I shrank down to nothing. Literally. I

15:08 shrank down to nothing. Because I was told to. Because I felt I wasn't enough. Like, why else do you drink so much on a daily basis if you, like... I didn't think I was enough. I didn't think I was worthy of sharing what I know now is a story that people can feel seen in, a story that people can hold onto and be part of. And like, that is the point that we can do it together, that we're meant to connect through these stories, through my guests' stories. but also and terrifyingly through my own. I am so grateful for the opportunity to share. And ironically, the last person that I had a conversation quite this deep with was indeed Chris Karaba. I talk about my unreal life. That's the kind of thing I mean. That and Dr. Tobias saying, Ty sees souls. Because I do.

16:23 And it's a gift. And it's a blessing. And it's easy. And I realized that as I was preparing to film this, and I had like, I was like, who's going to want to listen to me? Who cares? Highest value, fewest words. No. No. I'm done with that shit. Sorry to cuss. Sorry to cuss. I do cuss sometimes. And I'm done being quiet. I'm done being small. I am done littling my light so that others feel better. No, no, no, no. We are done with that. Because I've learned this really cool thing that happens when I share is the light gets brighter sometimes.

17:12 because it's catching in other people. Like literally I can, I can, I've seen it happen enough times now where I can see it catches my, my light is like lighting people's hearts from the inside out. And what a gift that is and what a blessing that is. And darn it, darn it, darn it. I need to share that. I need to share that. So welcome to season two of quick before you forget, which I'm going to call quick before I forget, which was, my original thought in the first place, which is kind of funny that how life works that way. But quick before I forget, thank you. First of all, thank you for being here, for listening, for sharing what I hope is your stories with me.

17:55 I really want this to feel like a conversation. And when I had this idea to do this first solo episode, I got this, I made this post and I was like, ask me anything. Give me your questions. And I actually kind of thought I'd get 13 questions. Like if I had, I probably should have said it to somebody so that it don't sound cuckoo. I thought I'd get 13 questions because that's one of my numbers. We all have our numbers, right? And I am a Swifty. So yes, 13 is one of my numbers. So is 22. And would you believe, would you believe? I've asked every guest of Quick Before You Forget, what would you tell your 22-year-old self? And you know what? 22 questions is where we landed. And I am cutting it off a day early. I planned on taping this on a Sunday. I'm taping this on a Saturday. I'm taping this when like the Lord spoke to my heart. The Lord spoke to my heart. I'm taping this when the Lord spoke to my heart to tape it. Because that's what's happening through him, for him, with him. All of it is happening in real time.

18:58 And those 22 questions, you guys, I was blown away because the 22 questions We're magical. And you know what my word is, right? My word for my values, my personal and professional values, which I do believe are aligned and are the same to me. They are not two separate things. Your personal values and your professional values should not be the same. They're two parts of your heart. And mine is magic. Magic. I got to unpack a lot of this in another episode. Holy crap, this is how people can talk this long because there's so much to unpack. The questions I got were so good. And I'm so grateful. And I realized that there's no way in heck I could go on and answer every single 22 questions in this episode. Instead, I thought I'd lay us a foundation. I thought I'd say, hey, thank you for being here. Thank you for wanting to be part of this enough that you asked me 22 thoughtful and like impressively deep, emotionally charged questions. And I've actually, I don't know, I'm hoping and assuming that some of y'all that asked the questions are here watching with me right now.

20:12 If you are, please say hi. I am hoping that because I've kind of tried to answer some of them indirectly. But I realized very quickly that I could not answer all 22 questions because that would be a lot of me. And you're already getting enough with what we're talking about here. So I thought instead of that, I will lay the foundation and set us up for what I hope is a really fun journey that y'all are excited and amped to be with me on. I have none of it figured out. There is no plan. There is no five-year plan. There's no 10-year plan. There is the Lord's plan. And it's happening. It's happening in real time. If you go back and look, and I'm like, this is actually legitimately like an ask. I struggle to make the ask, but also it's always a no unless you ask. That is one of many of my mantras. It's always a no unless you ask. It's also a mantra that has unlocked more magic in my life than I could possibly even, I can't even go into, honestly. It's a lot. It's always a no unless you ask. So I'm going to ask.

21:20 Go look. Go find things. I have an Instagram that has 7,500 followers right now. Thanks mostly to the emo rollercoaster gal content. Thank you. I have 14 plus thousand followers on TikTok and that my friends who doggy, that is where I practiced how to speak to people. That's where I practice how to be brave on camera. That's where I practiced how to tell a story in a way that people actually want to listen to it. That's where I practiced how to Write my life out loud. I have manifested so many incredible things that if you go back, like if you see like this last year, like the last eight months, and then you go back, you can see that it wasn't just, it's nothing that happened overnight. It's something that I had been speaking into the world. I have been literally, well, correction, God has been writing my book out loud through my words out loud on the internet for like five years. So my homework, my homework, sorry to give you homework, but I think it's fun. I think it's fun. And if you don't, that's cool. You're not my people. I believe this will help me find my people. My homework is go look, go digging, go, just go to Instagram, go to TikTok.

22:46 I'm also on Facebook. I'm on LinkedIn. And There's so much of the story. There's so much of the answers. This is like a full circle thing because the questions that you all asked me, a lot of those answers exist already in plain sight. They're there. And that's honestly unreal to me to even think about. But I will answer your questions. I will answer your questions. And today I'm going to answer one or two because I can't. put that out and say, I'll answer all your questions and then just not answer questions. I will be answering questions to be clear, but let's keep it going. Go, go find a photo, go find a video, go find like a, like a, oh my gosh, the playlists on TikTok.

23:36 There's playlists on TikTok. If any of this sounds interesting to you, go check them out. We have like punk rock princess. Okay. That is a Andrew McMahon heavy playlist. Andrew McMahon is this guy up here and the literal thread, a literal thread in this entire story. So if you love Andrew McMahon, you're going to want to be on this ride with me, okay? Also, Swifties and Healing. Swifties and Healing is a thing that I created because I believe that maybe it could be the name of the Taylor Swift theme park someday. Just a thought. I'm speaking these things out loud because some of the things that I say out loud happen sometimes. Taylor Swift theme park named Swifties and Healing. I think that would be a beautiful thing. But there's a playlist called Swifties and Healing on TikTok, as well as Just Keep Swifting, which is another Taylor Swift, basically a Taylor Swift love playlist on TikTok.

24:32 But there's so much. There's joy from the ground up. Again, the words from the ground up, which reminds me of a very important thing. You are my ground crew. If you're seeing this, if you've been watching this, can you please in the comments say, I am your ground crew. We are together in this and I am grateful. So if you're hearing this, please stop and say it because I want to say hi. I want to say thank you. So if you don't mind, I would love it if you say, I am team ground crew or something, because this is just the beginning. This is just the beginning.

25:14 And I just got so excited. I was so nervous. I was feeling like I felt before, like when you wait in a line for a roller coaster. Oh, I just felt it. Like I felt it with my whole being and it made me swallow harder. When you're waiting in a line for a roller coaster or you're waiting in a line for a concert, okay? Waiting in lines is kind of a thing in my world. I have, I've been first in line for more things than the average human. I would, I don't, I mean, I have to do like a study to be sure, but I have been, I'm a first in line girly. All right. And the most magical conversations and connections have happened in those lines. And I can't wait to share all of it with you. And there was a point. The point was I was feeling that energy, the like butterflies in your stomach and heart racing. And I mean, the heart racing might have a little bit to do with the witch's brew in this cup. Cheers, by the way. Um, but also just, I recognized in real time that that was the essence of my emo rollercoaster gal. Everything is that I have practiced being brave in the sky so that I could be more brave on land. And This takes bravery. I was scared. And I converted because guess what, guys?

26:41 Fear and excitement are the same chemically in your brain. I wish I'd known that sooner. That is something on the list of when I was in high school or college. And granted, I have, by the way, a master's degree in clinical psychology, bachelor's degree in psychology and communications. And for some reason, it took me until my late 30s to understand... maybe to just absorb the truth, which is that fear and excitement are the same chemically in your brain and you get to pick. That is so cool. So I was scared to come on here and talk like this. I was scared and I felt it with my whole body. And I did it. I did it anyway.

27:26 I did the scary thing anyway. And I am having a blast. I'm having so much fun. So I'm going to get clear and focused on a couple questions because I promised I would. One of my friends, Tyrone, gave me the probably most long-winded question in as few words as possible, which was, how did you become the emo rollercoaster gal? I gotta give that one some more thought and I gotta pray on it some more. But I think that the last chunk of time that we just spent together, scratches the surface of answering that question. Because it's not about getting on a roller coaster. It's not about that. It's not about the roller coaster itself. It is about everything that the roller coaster has taught me about living a bigger life. It's about choosing to excitement over fear. It's about getting, feeling the fear and getting on the ride anyway. Because you know what happens? Like you have fun. You might not have the most fun the first time. I'm not going to lie to you.

28:49 There are certain roller coasters that I choose not to ride now simply because I don't feel good after. And that's totally fine. But isn't that like life too? So I didn't ride my first roller coaster until I was 37 years old. And I get that date kind of mixed up sometimes because I remember it vividly. That's one of those photos that if you go back and try to find it, you might see what I mean. I think I ascended. I think my soul left my body. And my eyes were closed. By the way, I've ridden most of the first probably... Three dozen times I rode a roller coaster, I had my eyes closed, which is also very prophetic and profound in ways. that we can get into later. But it's not about the roller coaster itself.

29:47 It never was. It was about doing life better. And part of that includes doing life with the right people alongside you. Part of that is choosing to be brave when it doesn't make sense. Choosing to show up when everything tells you not to, but you just, you know that you're meant to. Sidebar, Alex Warren, Red Rocks. It's about so much more. And the most important part of that is that it's about you. It's your experience. It's how you live your life. It's how you choose to be courageous and curious and build yourself an unreal life.

30:44 And I am just honored and grateful to be part of it with you. So for the second question, I do need to get more into that first question, I think, eventually. So we're bookmarking that for later. But for the second question that I'm picking, let's see who gave me this question. What do you hope people believe about themselves because they encountered your work? Who gave me that question? Let me look in real time. What do you hope people feel about themselves when they encounter your work? I want to call out whoever asked me that question. Let's see. The question came from my dear friend CW, Holly, who invited me on a stage recently and gave me a microphone.

31:32 She invited me on a stage and gave me a microphone to moderate a panel at a really cool event called called goals night out in Atlanta, Georgia. And it was a dream come true in every way, including that it absolutely challenged my fear and excitement spiral. Okay. So I felt that fear so much for that last hour before I went on stage, I was shaking. whole body. I felt like if you looked at me, I felt like I was shaking like a leaf. Fortunately, everybody assured me I was fine. But I was nervous, nervous, nervous, big nervous. And then DJ Will Gill played a song, You Can't Stop This by Alex Warren. And it flipped the script. It took me from fear and nervousness to excitement so fast, so fast that there was no turn.

32:39 There was no turning back after that. So that's the power of music, my friends, and we are scratching the surface there. But my dear friend CW Holly, who I'm so grateful for, asked me what I hope people encounter, what I hope people feel when they encounter my work. I hope they feel like anything is possible. I hope they feel like they too can build their unreal life from the ground up using their version of the tools that worked for me, which is music, mindset, and movement. I hope that they know that the things they say out loud matter. I hope they know they matter. I hope they know that their story matters. It matters to me.

33:35 It matters to the people in your world. Your story matters. And probably most importantly, quick before you forget, I want you to remember who you are while you're building who you're meant to be. And if you choose to to be part of this journey with me, I want you to know that I am so deeply grateful for you being here, for you listening, for your comments on my posts, for your brief posts, for your shares, for your favorites, for your agreeing to go on this scavenger hunt journey that I'm taking us on. I am so, so grateful that you're choosing to spend the time with me because I'm I love and appreciate and have so much joy and gratitude that I get to enjoy this time with you.

34:36 Till next time, friends. JK kidding. One more thing. I want to thank some brands because I do believe that I can and will partner with some brands to help keep this whole ride going. And there are some brands that have done amazing things to help inspire and empower me over the course of time, including Six Flags, Cedar Point, Great America specifically. I would love in some way to collaborate and partner with Six Flags. And I don't know what that looks like. I don't know how to make it happen, but I do believe that it's possible and that we could really do amazing things together. Also, I'm kind of powered by some things, including Spindrift, my most favorite, favorite sparkling water. I love it so much and I drink it all the time and I have for years.

35:34 So sponsored, not sponsored by Spindrift, as well as Starbucks and Alani. And those are the liquids in my life now that I don't drink anymore. So I'm very grateful for those options as they are my favorite, favorite drinkies. And let's see. One other one that I want to shout out is Zeke's Village Market in Door County. You may or may not notice that I am wearing this beautiful shirt featuring cherries. Hold on, I wonder if I can stand up and... Can I stand up and show you? This is not going to work well for the people who are listening. There you go. Okay, we'll see. That's not the best ad for them, but I've done other work with and for them, and I hope to do even more exciting things with them in the future. So...

36:21 Zeke's Village Market. I love y'all. And I can't wait to see where all this is going. Thank you, friends. See you next time.