Normalizing Normal: How Emily Feret Built a 2.5M+ Audience by Being Real About Motherhood

0:00 The plane door opens, the wind is so loud, and these people get ripped into the sky. There is no They are sticked into the sky in a vacuum. There is not a graceful exit. They are just Meanwhile, you're packed in this thing as a SRD, sitting in some strange man's lap. It's in seaweed or something, trusting him with your life and you're like, what am I doing? What it's about to have? I was crying, Emily Ferrett, welcome to quick before you forget.

1:02 Thank you for having me. I'm so excited. I am so excited. So friends, you don't even know what you have to look forward to today. Because Emily has become a dear friend of mine through the Internet. The magical powers of the Internet brought us together. And she is a creator who doesn't make motherhood look perfect, she makes it feel real. She is one of those voices that makes you feel seen before you even realize that you needed it in that moment. By sharing the real, unpolished motherhood, she has created a space where honesty replaces perfection and where people can finally exhale and feel a little less alone. And this conversation is exactly that kind of space. With over a million people following online, She's built a platform on honesty, humor, and the courage to say what so many are thinking but not saying. And today we're going there, Emily, I'm weren't excited.

1:59 They were nice. I love it, well, I love it and I love you And that is no secret on the internet. Because I was, as I was getting ready for this, I went back like five years, four years, five years, and I was looking at all of our content like mostly me do weetting you on TikTok, which is such a sill like goofy thing, But I am so grateful for the time that we've gotten to know each other over the course of time. Like it's been so cool. Crazy to really think, like when you like, I've been doing this for six years, and I realized that the other day was like, holy moly, Like what a what a long time is to be.

2:39 On the internet. That's a long time. And yeah, there's been so much that has happened in those six years that I'm like, so many friendships made and connections made. That an opportunity that has just been like wild to reflect back on. Honestly, Well, speaking of reflection, let's go like way back because I like to I like to think that our story is their superpower. And I know I think you feel the same. So I'd like to go back to your past and talk through a person or a situation that has impacted where you've been, where you where you've. Come ooh, like in social media or. Just and who you are today. No, just like anybody from like childhood that or like a parent or a friend or somebody said had an impact on your life.

3:24 So many directions with best I'm my mom has always said I'm like a collector of people that I create little communities wherever I go, and I think it's true. I am someone that like I don't think anything is accidental. I think things happen for a reason. I think people enter and leave our lives for a reason. I just I think I've had just like kind of a really magical life. I feel like I had a Hallmark childhood that I talk about and people are like, wow, that sounds like something out of a Hallmark movie, and like, I know, I'm sorry, I don't know. I've had really great friends. My mom is always an inspiration to me.

4:05 I've always wanted to be very much like my mom. She was a like the best mom on the planet with how she took care of us, and she might disagree with that, which we can get into, but I just think she was the best. And now at the same time, I saw her really kind of take charge of her own life and not be afraid to do hard things. And her name is Beth, and we would my friends, And I actually like coined a term of like what would Beth do? Because she always does the right thing, even if it's hard, and it's not afraid to take risks. So yeah, probably my mom is one of my most like inspirational or influential people in my life. But I feel like I've just had like this great like I just attract good energy. I have like little like if you're in my life, you're probably still in my life unless you voluntarily left it. Like I just like, yeah, let's keep in touch, Like I still talk to like my I have a best frien and that I've been friends with since we were five years old, and she's like my still my best friend. So like, I don't know, I just like I find people interesting. So probably my mom is most influential, But I just I love people and I love making little communities and friendships and all of that.

5:18 Well, it's no wonder because same, honestly same, I am also a collector of people and there and you said you had a magical childhood, and I you know, I had so much fun as a kid. My mom always made things fun and we always made things into an adventure out of nothing, like it was the coolest thing. And it's why, you know, I choose to do that with my kids too. But I'm wondering if there's a time or like you said, like a collector of people, like, is there somebody that stands out to you as somebody that's been like a transition figure for you that changed your life in some way? Ooh. I mean I always had like teachers were really influential in my life, I think, which we can talk about later. I've always wanted to be a writer, and I feel like I had a teacher in high school that really celebrated my writing and it was like, oh am I good at this? So someone just like kind of pouring into you and being like, no, you're good at this, or this might be like a skill set of yours. I don't know, you know what the thing is when you collect people. I don't know that there is just one person that transitioned so powerfully. I think I like I've heard the saying I really like is that we're a mosaic of people that we've loved, and so I really think I gather bits and pieces like I could mention, Oh, this person inspired a video, or this person got me to download TikTok and that changed the course of my life, or this person supported me

6:48 this way, or I watched this person run and then I trained and ran for a marathon, And like, I feel like there's bits and pieces from so many people that I don't think there is just one that I was like, Wow, you change the course of my life. I think it's everyone I've loved and interacted with. I just like gather things from and so I'd probably be influenced in life changing things from a lot of different people. Honestly, Well, that's beautiful. That mosaic analogy is really cool, honestly, and it's so what I love most about it is that it's different people, Like it's there's you, and you have developed this community of people on the internet who are from like every walk of life, Like there's like people from you know, all shapes, colors and sizes, and we all love Emily, who is a writer. You said you always wanted to be a writer. You are a writer, and like that is that is something that I had struggled with for a really long time. So I want to correct you because oh yes, I do that right right, you are a writer. And in my kind of research and prep for our time together today, I went back and looked at some of my duets, as I mentioned, and there are so many good like poems that you the people don't even know what they've missed, Like they need to go back and like watch your content from like twenty twenty, twenty twenty one, twenty twenty two. Maybe you hate me for that. Sorry, what a time. It was a time, but it was a time that got us, got us through some things. And you know, I was just feeling

8:19 really grateful this morning because I was realizing that, you know, back then, I didn't I didn't know, I didn't really like TikTok or know of TikTok really and I downloaded TikTok and the first three people I followed on TikTok were you Merredith Steele, and Kevin lawson, and I have been blessed and honored to become friends with all three of you, which is crazy to me, But the point of it is I have gotten to see your journey and watch so many cool things happen and chew you on along the way. Like we I was I was thinking through do you remember Professor Bales from the Lunchable? Because you had a viral video back in like twenty twenty two. We had this guy, Professor Bales, and he was taking after after you and I don't even really remember what his point was, but the way that your community just like rallied.

9:12 Oh yeah, yeah, so good, and he taught us something. I mean, do you do you remember that story? Yes? Yeah? Do you remember how? Like? Because how did how? How did we work through that? Because like I I I actually started doing videos because of you, like one of you were one of a very few people who made me feel brave enough to like start shooting and posting and doing the things. And now I'm very excited to share that I do have thirteen point four k followers, and that is I'm so grateful for every single human that follows me on the TikTok clock. But Professor Vails is not one of them. He the let I guess, I'm curious you you have mastered the art of the the clapback.

9:58 Yeah, I don't. I mean I do it. You know, if you're on the Internet, you're subject and talking about I don't know, actually not even you don't have to talk about your real life. You're on the Internet. You're subjecting yourself for consumption and public opinion, and it's going to be negative some of the time. And I was a die hard, like people pleaser. I still am slightly working through it, but it was really hard for me. When I would get negative feedback, I would take it very personally. I went through a period where I was like, you know, I had never been bullied as a kid. I had never experienced that. So when I got online, I was starting kind of get ripped apart for who I was, what I looked like. That was really hard to navigate. And I do think like, if you're on the online space and a creator, you probably hit a point where it's either you grow the thick skin and you rise above or you get taken down. And so I do feel like I kind of got taken down for a minute, but then I process through and worked through, and it's actually been so beneficial for me, like in my life to not genuinely not care what other people think of me for the most part. How did you get there? Though?

11:04 Like, I think that that's something that we all struggle with it at some level. So how did you work through? You know? I don't. I think what helped me was when I started trying to change for those people and they still hated me anyway. So when I would take their feedback, which was just being mean, I would like, oh, well, maybe maybe there's some validity in that. Maybe I'm coming off a certain way, or maybe I'm doing something and so I'm like, well, maybe I'll tweak it. Well, then they just found something else to not like. And I just realized if someone's determined not to like you, there's nothing you can do to make them like you. Yeah, And so that was kind of freeing of like, I can't win over these people, and what am I really even like benefiting if I do? You know, there's I started looking at my real life circles. Can you hold on?

11:55 Can you hear the cat scratching at the door? No? Okay, perfect, Yeah, jump back in. So I started looking at my real life circle, So people I interacted with, my friends, my family, are any of these people saying these things about me? Are they having these same criticisms? People I love and I would trust to come to me being like, hey, you know you're kind of coming across this way or this behavior is not cool. No one was, So it's like, you know what, that's just someone's perception of me, or they're going through something that has nothing to do with me, which is most often the case. And the more I just kept telling myself that it just kind of released. I know, it's so much easier said than done, and sometimes it still does get to me. So I don't want to act like it's perfect now and I don't care, but I care so much less. I care so much less. And I think it was just time and really like letting go of the need to be liked, which is a big thing, huge, and knowing myself, knowing myself really well and knowing that I'm not those things that those people are saying. So that helped. But it is easier said than done, and there definitely is times that it still triggers me or gets to me. So it's an ongoing thing.

13:13 Well, you know, I'm fresh off of a Mel Robbins event, right, So I am very much in that to let them mindset and let you know yourself. So you said you've gotten to know yourself. What's the most interesting thing that you know if you look back to twenty two year old Emily, what do you think she'd be most surprised about that you've learned about yourself in the last few years. Hmm, that I'm much I have the ability to be pretty mentally more driven than I thought that I can do some pretty crazy hard things if I set my mind to it.

13:56 So talk to us about some of the crazy hard things you've done, because some crazy. Hurting things I ran. I think running the marathon was the most life changing thing and really solidified. It did a lot of things for me mentally, and it was really beneficial. I mean, I do want me to get way into that. Sure, I mean I also want to hear about you jumping out of an airplane. But okay, let me let me get into where that all stem from. Because I think maybe I was talking to some people about this, so like, why aren't you talking about this? I'm like, Okay, So I have something called a deathbed list. It's different than a bucket list. A bucket list, I feel like, are full of all these big I have those too, a big adventure of things you might want to see or do or whatever, travel, you know, whatever your bucket list is. But I wanted to form something called a deathbed list, which is I take from the bucket list maybe, but what are things that at the end of my life on my deathbed I would truly really regret not even attempting in my lifetime.

15:00 So to me, that's different than like, I want to go to Australia. Right, that's a bucket list. But if at the end of my life I'm about to die, do I really care if I didn't go to Australia. No, it's not end of the world. So what were things that I really felt like, Wow, I should have done it, Like I'm so I regret, right. So there were four things on that list. It was have children jump out of a plane, run a marathon, and write a book. So these were things that like, for whatever reason and mind you I don't know why, you know, I especially the marathon one because I'm not a runner, right, But it was just something in my head when I was seventeen and I started lightly taking up jogging. I think I probably wanted at the time. I was like, I want to be skinny so this guy will like me.

15:48 Like the reason weren't good, but in my mind I was like, oh, I should run. I want to run a marathon one day. You know. It was just it always in my brain of something that seemed very impossible, because you know so anyway, so that was the bucket list item. So it was, you know, obviously I had children at that point, check I had tried, succeeded all good, had the kids. So then honestly, being online helped have the confidence to try some of these other things. It almost like held me accountable in a way. It had people. If you say you're going to do something and people are like, oh, that's great, and you're like, oh, I should do it. So I brought up jumping out of a plane to my brother in law and my sister, and my brother in law was like, oh, I've always wanted to do that. I was like, should we do it? Also, you should know highly impulsive person. I'm so impulsive, and I have ADHD and I love dopamine, so I'm highly impulsive.

16:41 So When he said that, I was like, should we do it right now? I'm signing us up and he was like, yeah, are you free in October? And he's like, okay, done. Locked in? Like we can't. Then I talk about it on the internet. Now I'm really locked in. Okay, so we we do this. I was so scared. It was such a scary feeling. You know, you're climbing up and when I when I envisioned skydiving, I see the videos that people post on the Internet and they're falling gently into the sky and there's music and they're like like I've done it, and everyone's like I'm flying. I'm like, wow, that's amazing. When we get up in the plane, they're like, we're gonna let these people out at ten thousand feet or whatever it was. I was like, okay, the plane door opens, the wind is so loud, and these people get ripped into the sky. There is no They are sicked into the sky in a vacuum. There is not a graceful exit. They are just Meanwhile, you're packed in this thing as a sard sitting in some strange man's lap it's name Seaweed or something. Trusting him with your life, and you're like, what am I doing? What it's about to have? I was crying. I was because then it's we're at ten thousand feet, we have to go up higher, and I'm just like, we are already in the clouds, sir, and these people are ripped in the sky. And my mom was in the plane and my kids were on the ground. She was able to ride like next to the pilot and my kids were on the ground with

18:13 my sister. And I remember even telling it was such a wild thing because as a mom, there's something like I don't know if it's society or whatever, but it's like you don't do dangerous things once you're a mom, Like you should be doing that because you have children now. Even though I looked up the statistics very low for deaths and skydiving. You're more likely to die in a car accident. But I remember having this thought of my sisters with my kids, and I was like, oh, I should have told her that if she sees me plummeting, to take them inside so they don't see me die. Like the thoughts are wild, but you're just there, you know, you're like always on them. So clearly I didn't die but I remember crying, We're going to the edge and you just go and it was it took me a minty to remember to breathe and settle myself. And you don't feel like you're falling. You're just like floating. There is no of that. You know, that roller coaster feeling your stomach slipping, it's none of that. You don't feel like you're falling. You do feel like you're flying, You're just in the air. And then it was like lovely, like I'm sucking an air trying to breathe, but you just feel like you can do anything. I don't know how else to explain it. Then you wish you whosh up and the parachute opens and you float to the ground and you're just like, holy crap, I live through that.

19:30 I now would advise you not to make life changing videos or life changing decisions after you skydive. You do have a really false sense of I can do anything, and again impulsive. So what comes up the next week signing up for the Chicago Marathon, and I just think, if I jumped out of a plane, I can do this, and I doubled down. I signed up with a charity to get guaranteed entry. So not only did I get in, I have to raise now and I told the internet about it. I had not ran more than a five k at that point, and I had not ran in years. Yeah, so that was though. So I trained for about nine months, and looking back, I don't know how I did it other than pure mental drive. I mean I was waking up for my long runs. The earliest I would wake up is like two thirty in the morning, three in the morning, run twelve miles and then solo parent my kids the entire twelve hours, fourteen hour days. I did it through sickness, I did it through rain, cold, like anything.

20:44 But I just was like, this is something. I think it's maybe imposter syndrome or maybe just not like acknowledging my own work or whatever. But so much, I think, especially in the online world, I felt what was luck. Like I didn't earn it, I fell into it. And yeah, maybe I worked hard and maybe I had videos, but you could probably say for anyone successful online a lot of it was luck. You met the right person, the video went viral. I didn't really have to do with you. So I thought, not that I don't deserve it, but why me like I fell into it. I didn't set out to get an online career. I got lucky and this was something, and I feel like I'm naturally kind of a lucky person in general. I win contests. I don't good things happen. I don't know. So I'm like, you know, this was something that the only way it was going to be successful, the only way it was earned, is if I did it. No one could do this for me. No one could run it for me, no one could train for me. I had to do it me alone. So I got injured right before at the end with shin splints, bad enough that they wanted me to take like four weeks off, and I had this moment of like, this isn't supposed to happen, like I'm believing, manifesting and all these things, and I was like, I saw myself cross that finish line, like I am supposed to cross that finish line right now, So this doesn't feel right. This isn't this can't be, you know. And I just remember realizing it then how badly I wanted it and how much it meant to me. I was like,

22:16 I don't care if I break my leg, like I'm running this thing like so they cleared me, but whatever, So just showing up that day. I can't describe the energy. It's, you know, I don't know if like anyone listening or you as like religious spiritual. I consider myself kind of spiritual and as the only other experience I've had that has been that spiritual is giving birth, like having literally millions of people. The energy like you can feel it in your bones. There's fifty thousand runners with you, and you are just it says go and I can I swear on this. Yes, Okay. There was a man in Costco, which is, by the way, not my demographic of viewer I am. Typically people who watch me are like twenty five forty five, typically stay at home moms, mothers. This man stopped me at Costco and he goes, I've been watching you on Instagram. I've been following your running journey and I was like, oh my gosh, like that's amazing.

23:09 He's like, I've ran several of these. All the best advice I can give you is don't fucking stop. And I was like, okay, Like he's like, you're gonna do great, Like I can't wait to watch. I was like, thank you. So much and then poof, he was gone. So I remember writing I put like temporary tattoos on me, and I had my kids write and sharpie like go mom and all these things. And I wrote on there like don't fucking stop. And I didn't. I mean, I kept I ran. It took me seven hours and I was so sick for a lot of it. But there was one point where my husband was on like the sidelines and I was supposed to meet him because my feet like something had shifted and I was like, blisters are, like my feet are getting ripped up, and I was like I need to stop and retape my feet or whatever.

23:54 And I somehow missed him where he was at at the checkpoint, like I kept going and I was like I missed you, Oh my gosh, whatever, And also just shout out to Greg because I know you asked me earlier, like you know who's helped you on your journey or inspired or something. But like he definitely like there's no way I could have done that marathon or a lot of what I do, like without him helping in the background, like it'd be ten times harder. So very thankful he was there that day. But even though I did miss him, and I didn't get to retake my feet. I just know, like if and thank goodness, because if I would have stopped, there's no way I would have gotten back up again. There's no way. I know that for a fact. So I think I was meant to miss him. You know, we say like everything happens for a reason. I you know, then my feet started to feel better. Right around then though, the tape shifted back and it was okay. And I didn't stop, and I fully believe if I had stopped and sat down, I would have been done. Like there was just it was just any time I felt like I don't know if I can do this, someone would cheer my name in the crowd. It wouldn't even be for me, because remember there's fifty thousand people running, but someone would shout go Emily, or there was a sign that said go Emily, or my daughter's name, or someone would give me a jolly rancher. Literally at all the times I was like I can't do this, or the wind would gust behind me, and it was just like okay, like I'm gonna do it. And I got to the very end mile twenty six, and I knew my sister was waiting for me, And there's a video of this somewhere,

25:24 but I mean, I just like, I know anyone can probably think like that, doesn't run that, And even if you do run that, like twenty six miles, like it's not natural, like it's it's not even natural for your body to train for it. It's so intense. And mile twenty six came to the very last, very end bit and I knew my sister was waiting and I saw her, and I it was like a baby, like when a mom lifts the car off the baby. Like I got an adrenaline surge. I ran like sprinted and just cheered and whatever, and I went up this hill. This is because of course they ended on a hill. Of course the a ball and I turned and I saw the finish line. I was just like, holy crap, you know. And I had documented this journey all inline, and I remember I did a series where like I wanted to learn how to run a mile start to finish, and that's what started. And I was like, wow, I'm gonna do it, like this is insane. I'm gonna I'm going to finish a marathon like this is like of if you know me, or if you don't, like I'm not athletic, I'm not even a good runner, like my feet or crooked.

26:22 I go slow, I walk a lot. I'm you know, I don't have a six pack abs like I'm not a good runner. But I finished a marathon. You know, I got the same metal that somebody who finished in three hours did, you know? And so I crossed the finish line at By the way, my birthday is March third. My username on things or like three through three, like threes are my number. I finished that marathon at three thirty three PM, thirty three thirty three. Wow, it was threes across the board right when I crossed the finish line, And it just felt so cosmic and like meant to be. And the fact now that I have people, they'll reach out to me like I'm running a marathon because you did, or I've started running because you did. And it just thought of all the things I thought I would inspire that would never be it. So it really showed me that like you can do things you set your mind to, even if it feels impossible, and that I'm such a capable like I think back and I say it so casually but like what that took so much mental grit and so much hard work, and I did it, and I accomplished what I wanted to accomplish, and now I'm training for my second one. So like, you can do these things that are just they seem like if I were to say that like me to seventeen year old me, she'd be in disbelief that I actually did it, you know.

27:39 So it just really showed me that I'm a capable person and that I can work really hard and I can do these things that feel impossible. So that was long winded, but that was something that really showed me that that I can I can do things and work hard and make impossible things reality. And also I need a new deathbed list because I've checked. Off all of the check and you are only thirty one, thirty four thirty four. Oh my gosh, I'm making you younger on purpose. No, Emily, I cried, like, I don't know if you could tell I was being a little emotional because I was one of the lucky ones that got to kind of watch all that kind of unfold.

28:22 And when you were talking about the moment with your sister at the finish line. I could see it. I could. I can remember because there's a video, and I cried, like sobbing crying because it felt like we were with you, Like it felt like we were on that journey the whole thing. You know, you did such a you know you said about the accountability is real, right like you you posted about it on the internet. You took us with you, but you brought us into your world. And I'm so grateful because like there's so much I wrote down, but you know you said impossible a bunch, and impossible is one of my words, because impossible is just a big word thrown around by small people. And you are you say.

29:03 Fuck yeah, you did it, like you are so much more capable than you put your mind to. And when I was really sick in twenty one, twenty twenty one, twenty twenty two, your content was a light like in my darkness, and that version of me only a couple of years ago wouldn't have thought any of this was possible. But here we are having this conversation, and you you know, my podcast is called Quick Before You Forget, and the whole point is helping people build their unreal life from the ground up using tools like music, mindset and movement to remember who you are while you build who you were meant to be. And you've done that by crossing off all four things on your deathbed list. And that is so when you said that I got chills five or six times while you were talking. I wanted to say three times because it would have been more kismet and like cosmic. But I got chills like five or six times while you were talking because you said, if I can do this, I can do anything. Like if I can jump out of a plane, I can do anything.

30:04 And and that is why we do the hard thing. Like there's so much that, there's so much good in everything you shared, and I just I am just grateful for. All of it. I'm grateful for you sharing. I'm grateful for you taking us with you. I'm grateful for the spark that it's been for everybody that's running a marathon because of you, And how freaking. Cool is that. And people are probably, honestly, people are probably jumping out of planes because of you too. And I would strongly encourage anybody and everybody to go look at that documentation as well, because when she was telling the story of jumping out of the plane. My mind conjured up the image of her jumping out of the plane, which is she said, you get whipped out of the plane, And that's exactly what that's. That's the joy slash like realness of the face and everything it was.

30:50 It's it's like, yeah, but skydiving pictures, I'll say that or maybe do because there I want to do it because it's like you know that list. But also you might not love how your face looks because my ear is sucking. Yeah, no, my nostrils were this. Oh, maybe do buy the pictures? You do it? Yes, you need to prove and you put it by your death. Then you did say this thing though, That gets to something that I want to dig into deeper. For people that do want to do these impossible things in unreal life build their unreal life from the ground up. So you said there were times along this journey where you thought why me? And I know that you deal with intrusive thoughts a lot. Sure, So how do you work through those thoughts? Like how do you get from why me? To doing the thing?

31:45 I fake it till I make it? Yeah, I mean I do. Went to a conference and I felt like so out of place and I just felt like, Wow, I don't belong here, and I just make a joke. You know, I don't know I do. I fake it till I make it. I just think I do have imposter syndrome, and I do feel like out of place sometimes or you know, why me or whatever I do. I do think there is some validity to fake it till you make it, Taylor Swift, I could do it with a broken heart, you know whatever your mantra, and I don't. I don't even have other advice than that. I just I need to give myself more credit quite frankly, something I'm working on. But I just show up. Maybe that's the advice is I keep showing up and I keep doing it. I just keep going. And if some days I do feel like I belong and like I know what I'm doing, and some days I don't, but I show up anyway. I don't let it, let me diminish myself or hide away. Even if I'm not feeling it, I'm still going to show up. And you might not have any clue I'm feeling.

32:53 That way because I'm there right and you are faking it till you make it, which is this beautiful thing. That I've recently refereed raised because I heard it on the internet that I faith it till I make it. But the point is you show up and you do it scared, and you do. You feel the fear, and you feel the imposter syndrome, and you hear those thoughts in your head running a million miles a minute. You do it anyway. Yep, do it scared. I do it scared a lot. I do it feeling like I'm not don't belong, I don't whatever. But yeah, I don't stop, I don't not attend or I don't not do the thing. I just I do it scared skydiving. I did it really scared. Yeah, I think they're really scared, you know.

33:34 So it doesn't have to stop you from doing it if you're feeling that absolutely, you know. So that is what I try to do. Well. You talk a lot about the hard things and doing the hard things and saying the hard things out loud. What are the hard things and hard parts that you don't talk about as much, like in an online sense, yeah, or just in general. I mean, because I think that I think that people you know, appreciate there's still things that are harder for you to share. So if you had to focus on some of those. Yeah, I don't, it wouldn't. See. The thing is, it's like the personal things that I don't share with the world, So just that I've chosen to keep, you know, it wouldn't be something I talk about in a video online.

34:22 There's not too much that that I don't share. Fair open book when it comes to myself, I quite honestly in my feelings, like and I it's interesting because I just I literally just came off a conference with all online creators who are moms, Like that is who the conference is for. That is two point zero, right, I'm two point oh so people are speaking, but anyone I talked to, and I define this to be true. And I don't know if it's just my circle that I fell into or if there's some truth to it if you're an online creator. But like they were, it was no big deal to just be super open about really personal things feelings, like instantly, you know, it was just like, oh, yeah, this is happening in my life and this is how I feel and blah blah blah blah blah. Like I don't know if I just fell into the right group of people where that is just who they are, or if there's something about sharing your life online that you become less sensitized, like for a while, it's changed now when you google my name and I made a video about this, the image that they chose to represent me was me in my underwear in a mirror selfie in my period granny panty underwear. And when I saw it, I was like, that's so hilarious, Like what a funny Like of course that's what they just I made a video about it. I reput it on the internet, and I got so many comments of like, oh my gosh, I would die, like I'd be so embarrassed. I'm like, I really don't care. I feel like these. Something I really like is there's this kind of phrase that shows up in comment sections. It'll be someone talking in about

35:55 experience they've had and someone says, wow, I've never had an original experience in my life in a negative light, like a funny comment of like, oh wow, there's nothing unique about me someone else. But I think that's such a beautiful thing. I love that that we've never had a unique experience, because how great that someone else has gone through something that I've gone through. And I think when you can talk about shameful topics vulnerable topics with a approachable lens, maybe it's making fun of it. Maybe it's just saying, hey, this is happening in my life, and I'm okay with it. I'm okay to talk about it. I don't feel bad about myself about it. It kind of gives other people like the sigh of relief to go, oh, like, I'm not a terrible person for feeling this. Or I was talking to a woman at dinner and she had brought up She's like, oh, I've been married a million times, like when she was talking about her life, She's like, so I'm my husband number four. And I was like, oh my gosh, go for seven. She's like, yes, I Elizabeth Taylor. But it was like such a like humorous, like oh, Like I didn't think anything of it. I was like, like, oh, why is she getting married four times?

36:57 You know? Or like maybe that's like a shameful thing in society or something. I think if you can talk about things that are hard or vulnerable or maybe that society says you should feel shamed for and approach it like yeah, that's me, and that's I'm okay with it? People go, oh, is it okay? Like wait, is this just being a human and we're going through life? Okay? So there's honestly, unless it's something personal involving other people in my family, like I would never go and talk about share something at this point personal about something my children are going through online. Well, I have boundaries with what I share. There's nothing though that I have felt like, oh, I shouldn't talk about that. Like I'm of the approach of like, let's talk about it, and let's talk about in an approachable way. So when it involves other people's private matters, I won't talk about it. I have boundaries.

37:44 But for myself and my feelings and stuff, honestly, there's not too much I don't express well. People connect through honesty and authenticity, and that's something that's been a theme for your content for years, is just showing up as your real, honest self and not you know, life without the filter, right, that is that is the that is the thing. So talk us through the life without the filter, talk us through those normalizing normal videos that are everybody's favorite, and how you kind of came to that as as one of your series. Yeah, I mean again, it's everything so like it just happened one day. But I joined TikTok in twenty twenty during the pandemic. I was pregnant and had a toddler, and I would I took lockdown very seriously. I was someone that did not leave their house. I did not go to the grocery store. I was pregnant. There was so much unknowns that I was like, I'm not doing anything to put myself in any kind of position where might be separated from my baby or whatever, you know.

38:43 So I was. I was very locked down, and I was I loved TikTok. It was an escape, but it was also at that time heavily unrealistic, which I mean it still is, but just I was seeing these perfect lives of moms and doing all of these things and doing all these activities with their kids, and their houses were immaculate, and I was just like, Wow, mine's not mine. Doesn't look like that. My motherhood journey is not like that. And I started to feel bad about myself, like, well, I'm pretty bad at my job. I thought I was good at my job. I'm failing here. All these people seem to have it together. So I kind of just picked up the phone one day. And I think it started as kind of like I'm a hot mess mom showing my house and whatever happened where the words fell out of my mouth that little intro that I do of a start of every video, and I, almost like an MTV style cribs, walked around my house and showed the real of it, how messy it was, and how there were bottles everywhere that I was hunting, I mean, anything you could think of, just like my kids had three bags of chips for breakfast, Like here's my life, what I'm living, and making it fun and making it silly and making it like isn't this great? Like this is my life? And people really resonated with it. I mean it blew up. That was my first like viral moment, and I thought, huh. And then just the more I've shared, like I said, I've taken these little side quests of like running a marathon and jumping out of a plane and here I'm doing this, but the core of it has always been showing my unfiltered life and showing that

40:16 I'm still a great person. You watch this and you really like me, and you like my personality and what I do guess what, my house is messing ninety nine percent of the time there is. There is hardly ever a time my house is clean and put together an aesthetic. It's just not going to It's just not who I am, and that's okay. It doesn't make me a bad person. So I feel like women, especially in moms, carry this guilt of like that makes me put together. That is what's going to make me successful. And this is how it's supposed to be for me to be considered a good wife, a good mom, a good human. If my house is not lean, I'm lazy. And when I have this downtime, I need to be cleaning to get it to that state, because that's what makes me better and more successful. And I'm just here to remind you it has literally no bearing on who you are, or your work ethic or anything. I Like I said, if I list all these accomplishments, like I was on the Drew Barrymore show, I'm publishing a book, I'm speaking at these conferences, I've ran a marathon, I've jumped out of a plate.

41:15 You would be like, WHOA, that sounds like an impressive person in my eyes, you know, howl whatever, like, Wow, that's amazing. Guess what. My house is a mess. My kids had three marshmallows for breakfast today, just marshmallows, nothing nutritious. Okay, did I brush their teeth this morning? No? I did not. I forgot. And just remember now that I forgot, and things are following a part at the seams, and like I have clothes that I've worn since high school. I don't have like all these fancy outfits, like all of these things. But if you heard just this highlight reel, you'd go, oh, my gosh, like what an impressive specimen. But all of these things are true. There's this duality of like I am what I think is this cool, nice friend, great person. In my house is a mess, and my laundry is never caught up and it doesn't reflect to my work ethic or who I am, or it's not negative to me in any light. It's just something that is and it releases that feeling of like I'm responsible for that, and I'm allowed to rest and I'm allowed to have fun and even if my house is a mess, and so I continue to kind of share that. And as I've grown, that's kind of gone through different things like body acceptance and positivity and how I parent and all these elements. But the core of it is is that you don't have to be perfect and how we fight against that living in a world with social media.

42:34 By telling the truth. This crazy thing, right, what's the thing you do as a mom that the internet would absolutely judge you for but you stand by it anyway? Co sleeping there's some controversial things on the internet, right, So like, yeah, post thing is a big when bed sharing I did. My kids are eight and whatever, eight and five, no, six, I don't know, birthdays are coming up. I did bed sharing it to co sleep being we do screen time their diet, which is so funny because I'll put on the internet like, oh, here's this plate of food, and you always have the people that are like, oh my gosh, that's that's garbage. And some people are like, oh my gosh, your kids eat vegetables like it slick.

43:17 So there's always going to be like such polarizing opinions. I hearn about certain topics. That's just that's just how it how it goes. Yeah, So definitely, like I lay in bed with them still every night to go to sleep. They'd use their they have iPads and tablets, they're on screens, they eat sugar. I don't know, you know, those are like the controversial. I don't know that there's anything major, but like someone on the Internet of everything I just listed would be like, h freak out, like that's not okay, and other people would be like that's me too, right, so's you know, the world it takes. Motherhood I think is like kind of like math. There's a lot of different ways to get to the same equation. I think we're all just trying to raise like happy people in society that are good contributors to society, good people. Some people get there by eating all organic and some people get there by eating marshmallows for breakfast. And it just takes all types of people to make up the world.

44:12 And it's okay, it is okay, we're all we all have the same goal. So I mean, so I guess that's the most like controversial thing I could think of, because just because I know those are controversial, I'm. Likes, well, if I mean, we love those kids, the Internet loves those kids, and you've done a very intentional job of kind of taking them away and having them not be part of your content. Can you talk me through that decision and why that's so important to you? So when when they were little, they were on the internet more when they were babies and like two mainly because how how do I avoid it? I had a baby on my boob all the time. I had a two year old up you know, on my butt. So and they were also I feel like the problems they were going through or things I was venting about is could apply to every child on the planet. Every child, you know, throws a tantrum, every child's not sleeping through the night, every you know. It was kind of like universal things. Yeah yeah. And then uh, when my eldest turned four and mind you, like, I you know, grew kind of slow. I had a big spike, so it was like kind of the slow growth and whatever.

45:32 But we celebrated every big spike, by the way, like I need to tell you, like I was thinking about that, how we celebrated like fifty k and then one hundred K, and then two fifty. It was this whole. Build up and excite. It was crazy. So you know when it's fifty k people and you're getting like maybe so many views and they're all the same universal problems it's one thing, but now it's like I have over two million across platforms and my kid. When my eldest was four and she entered school, that is what it all shifted, because I was like, anything I talk about her on the internet, A, problems are now becoming more specific to her right and B she is going to have friends who have parents who watch me.

46:13 And so if I go and say, oh, she has the cutest little crush on this boy in preschool, you know, like that might be a normal thing, or oh, she wasn't, but we'll just give an example of like she's was having accidents at preschool, what are some tips. Even if it's like I might get valuable advice, this is now affecting her personal life that other people can see. And so that was the shift of like, I don't like that. Also, you start entering like stranger danger and like what if someone comes up to her and is like, I know your mom from the internet and they don't know they go, oh, you know my mom, You're safe. So that was kind of part of the decision too that I just kind of started taking them off the internet. So now they're not a part of it, and you're very able to do that. You can talk about motherhood, you can talk about things. Of course, there are things that I wish I could go to the internet about. She'll do something so cute. I'll be like, this is so cute. I want to share. But that's when I shared like my personal private you know, family page or whatever. But yeah, once I I don't want it to affect them. It's one thing to embarrass myself on the internet, even by proxy.

47:14 They may still have something with that, you know, Yeah, but I didn't want it to involve them where someone could use information against them in a harmful way. So that was part of the decision. You if and when they see your content and they watch your content someday, what do you hope they understand about you? Ooh, that I'm a very Oh that's a good question. That they understand about me, that I think that I am my authentic self online that I'm not putting on any kind of front. It was an odd thing, like I met some creators at this conference and it was like the phrase came up as like, oh, you're exactly like who you are online, because there is that kind of like, oh, is does she really like that? Is this some sort of persona. Is this just how she acts in person? So I would love for them to know that, just like, no, that's me, like you if you talk to me in real life, which you could probably attest to this, like that's just who I am.

48:14 Right, Yeah, No, I've gotten the same thing where it's like you're you're the same, You're the same person. You have that much energy online and in person. How so yeah, I think just that that is not a character or persona like you're You're getting what you get. That's who I am. And sometimes I show up and I'm high energy. Sometimes I show up and I'm crying. There's just no performance in it. I don't think I could make it work in my life if I had to perform any kind of way for it. So yeah, that's I think that's what I would want to know that there's no It kills me when like I'll recommend a product and I get messages like but do you really like it? I'm like, yes, why would I tell you I do? But there's there's people that do that.

48:56 So yeah, that's the problem. There are people that do that, but you are not one of them. And we are grateful as people. I mean I actually used. I think there might be videos on the internet, like Emily made me buy it, Emily made me buy Liquid IV, like I never tried Liquid IV. What I'm an influencer. Are an influencer, that's that's what you do for for life. But just talking about your kids, You've teased a little bit about your book, and your kids are going to be able to hold your book in their hands one day, and that's a crazy cool legacy to leave them. I'm wondering what you how you're feeling about that and what you can and will share with us about the book right now. As I know, it's like a like a teasing situation.

49:39 I know, so like you, I haven't officially launched it, and I think we're going to do another podcast episode we are, yes girl. But there is a book. You can pre order it right now. I just haven't like made that official launch, but it is available like everywhere you buy books. But it's called normalizing normal motherhood without the filter. What it is about is I've kind of exited. My youngest is going to be turning six at the end of summer, so he's I'm leaving those early motherhood years which I consider like zero to five, maybe zero to six, where there's all this I'm entering like big kid phase. So there's all this change that happens when you're pregnant and when you bring home a baby that I feel like is not talked about enough. I feel like a lot was talked about, you know, maybe like what do expect when you're expecting, and maybe some physical changes in a medical way, and but no one was talking about like how my marriage would change, how my friendships would change, how I would feel like I was losing something, how I lost myself, how I found myself some body changes, and how I wasn't like in love with my body and how that's okay. So it kind of goes into these different topics with some kind of like real life antidotes alongside with advice I've got along the way. So it's not really I always say like I'm an expert nothing, but I do have Google. That's a phrase I use a lot in the book. And also it's not a how to, but it's a how

51:11 I did and how you can too. So even if you get just tidbits from each section, and it kind of just goes through all these things like how I feed my kids and how that's not picture perfect, and how I was okay with my house falling apart and all of these things in kind of a funny and lighthearted way, like how it is my videos. Was also some maybe helpful tips that might be helpful for you and your mindset navigating this, and if nothing else, for something to go like, oh, thank goodness this someone else said it. Thank goodness someone else did that same thing. One part of the book is literally just my worst mom fails and all these things that I felt bad about and then how I learned to navigate and not feel bad about it anymore. So it's just kind of like an open and honest like here was my experience.

51:55 A lot of it was way harder than I ever thought it could be. And we're not supposed to say that because we're supposed to just be so grateful for the experience. But again, like I said earlier, those two things can be true at once. I can be so grateful and love my children, love being a mom and really not like motherhood sometimes, yeah, and the permission to feel that and how that's okay and it doesn't make you a bad mom. So that's my little shpiel about. The book Two Things Can Be True is a theme of life for me lately. You said you lost you felt like for the people that maybe lost themselves in motherhood, and that made me think of the question that I've been asking most of my guests, which is, if I handed you a megaphone and every mama in the world had to listen to you right this minute, what would you.

52:44 Say that you are doing enough? If you're trying, You're doing enough, like just straight up, like, if you are trying your best, if you are giving this your best, then that is enough. You are still a good mom. You're a good mom, just straight up. A bad mom wouldn't care. A bad mom would not question if she was doing enough. So if you are questioning that, if you were thinking that, if you're feeling guilty, if you're trying, then you are doing enough and you are a good mom. I needed to hear that more than once from you, and you always delivered at the most perfect times, which is why I believe everything you said about the way that I believe God is working for me in so many ways and including having you here today. So I just have a couple more questions that are more like what we've a little more quick hitting and you know you can. You don't have to answer briefly per se, but just a little little more, a little less thoughtful, a little more gut reaction. So do you have you mentioned our girl Taylor Swift and I can do it with a broken heart? Yes, we were joking right befo before we started recording, because I wear that hoodie a lot, and I have the white one, and I wear that one a lot, and I have two of the white ones, so it looks like I might not do laundry ever, but I actually do. And I just I was like, I should have shown up in that chirk and we would have been matchy matchy catching. But do you have

54:17 you mentioned that song? Do you have other songs? You have a song specifically that you put on I'm curious, almost like what was on your marathon playlist? But do you have a hype song or a survive song of survival that you could share with us? A hype song for survival? We literally look up at Spotify. Yes, and we're gonna if you don't mind sharing your LIU like the. Most recent Yes, the most recent is this song called click Clack Symphony by Ray nice. Yeah, I think so it's just this like anthem of like going out with your girls and like the beat is sick, and I'm just like, yeah, it's like I'm like we did a girl to night. I don't even know what's happening, but like let's go not like the girls and I would probably be like we're all lounging around like watching a movie, but it's right, yes, let's get fabulous and go out and watching Door Girls. Yeah, that's like my latest like hype song. Like the beat just gets me. Of course, like you can do it with a broken heart is great too. That's like any of them of like kind of fake it till you make it. Yeah, Weft always gets me anything with a beat, though, I'm so with music like I do not I if you viewed my stuff, it's all over the spectrum because I'm just like if I sometimes I like the lyrics more than the music.

55:34 Sometimes I like the beat. But that's probably my number one right now that I've been listening to. Well, thank you for sharing with us. I will include that in the show notes for people, and if you want to share any other songs off or your Spotify playlist or whatever, let me know because I'd love to include that too. As we've talked about, you have built a community of friends on the internet, and I have been blessed to be part of it. And I know a lot of those friends personally and have become friends with them myself. And one of those friends is named Becky, and she goes by Becks on the internet, but her name is Becky and she had a question that she asked me to ask you. We love Becky, So her question is where did it go? If you could go back to the very first video you ever posted, what would you tell that version of yourself?

56:24 Oh? Wow, buckle up. I mean truly, this has been such a I know, I know the first video I ever posted. It was like a trendy dancing video with my then toddler where you like run off screen. I bring her back in and kind of shake her back and forth. And Becky and I knew that one too, by the way, we both remembered, which is really cool that we all know exactly first one. And just like I think, just your life is about to change. Your life is going to change, and not in like a oh I'm suddenly this, but you are just one of the things you will pumplush and learn about yourself like you were. You were about to be on a wild ride. So buckle up. Your life's about to change.

57:05 It's eleven eleven right now, just changed eleven twelve. But you told that story at eleven eleven, which is special to me, Like say a prayer. Whatever we do right, we feel it. We're feeling it, and that that good energy is going to carry us into our next chat. Which will be about the book. But also we're gonna we're gonna have to just have more chats because I feel like we barely scratched the surface. And I did go through some of my questions, but not nearly as many as I had. So we're just gonna need to come back and do this again. Okay, deal, let's do you know. You heard it here first, friends, and that's gonna help. It's gonna happen. Emily, thank you for your time today before we wrap. Is there anything else you want to share or add that I didn't ask you what?

57:49 No? I just I do hope you if you're interested in the book, you buy it reea but just remember that, like even if you're not a mom, I know I'm speaking to moms a lot in my content whatever. But if you're just a person in life, life trying to figure it out, you know it'll be you have time. Life is long. You're meant to be here. I always say the if you're here, the chances of you being born are so slim, and you made it here, and when you got here, the universe shifted to make room for you, and it would feel a loss if you weren't here. So just remember that and know that you're supposed to be here and try to find you know, the simple joys in life. And uh yeah, tomorrow wants to see you inside of I.

58:31 What a perfect ending. I'm so grateful, Emily. I'm truly, honestly, sincerely grateful for the six years or so that we've spent together online, but also for being here today. Feels like this perfect, just this perfect moment to say thank you. I'm on behalf of all of us in the normalizing normal community, and behalf of myself who honestly remembers watching your content and crying in a hospital bed being reminded of just that like that, Tomorrow wants to see you, and so do I. It's such a beautiful moment. I'm so grateful, so thank you so much for being you and we will see you next time. I'm Quick Before you Forget. Thank you for having me. I'll be back.

59:12 Thank you for being here with me today on Quick Before you Forget. Please like, share and Subscribe as that helps the show so much and I really appreciate it and I'll see you next time on Quick Before you Forget,