How to Trust Yourself Again: Kristin Mackey on Intuition, Burnout, and Living Authentically

0:00 They let me into the cockpit. So now I'm in the cockpit. This is a true story. And I'm in the cockpit. And now and I'm in the cockpit. I'm looking to the left, Hello, and I'm looking to the right, hello. And they say, ma'am, what are you doing in the cockpit.

0:41 Kristen Mackie, welcome to aquick before you forget hi. Thank you so much. It is an honor to be here. I am so excited you're here. Guys. This is my friend, my dear friend, Kristen, and she is somebody who, like me, believes that your energy speaks before your words ever do. Kristin Mackie is a speaker, leadership expert, illustrator and creator of Frequency Matters, a movement centered around emotional resonance, conscious leadership, and the idea that how we show up impacts everything around us. She has worked with organizations like Franklin, Covey, Lockheed, Martin, hard Rock, and universities across the country, helping people become contributors instead of just employees. And today we're going to talk about all of the things. Kristin, I'm so pumped. Yeah, me too.

1:33 I'm so excited to be here, Ty, thank you for having me. Oh my gosh, well I am if you can't tell. Guys, we're friends. Kristin and I know each other from another life, and I love your work with frequency. So people, there's people that get it and there's people that don't. So I feel like before we launch into a whole conversation about frequency, I think we need to just level set. Can you talk us through your perception of what frequency is and why it matters so much? Yes? Absolutely. Frequency, to put it simply, is the stuff of life. It is everything in life and reality through physics is vibration. It's energy. And so when we use the term frequency, you have sound waves, music is frequency.

2:22 You know, my communicating right here is frequency. But we also have an energy about us, you know. We know through the example of when you meet someone and you feel really great and you feel comfortable and you're being very well received, and then there's sometimes you meet someone and you feel a little bit pulled back and not so comfortable. That is what I like to say. The energy behind the individual, their thoughts, their feelings, their beliefs, the way they're carrying themselves and what they're bringing to a specific space is frequency. But frequency is everything. It's everything that we see in life is energy. And why does it matter so much? Well, it matters because it actually impacts us more than we realize. Too often we think, you know, oh, it's just a concept or it's an idea, But have you ever been in a situation where you were truly powerfully influenced by someone because of the way that they carried themselves or frequency can be found in executive presence. We know when someone has executive presence and they're carrying themselves or their energy a certain way with confidence or confidence and confidence that energy is translated to you can trust me, I am your leader. How we hold our energy is such an important thing, and it matters, and it matters when we're parenting with our children. It matters. My dog can tell when I have a a in a positive space or not so positive space. So our frequency matters because it is how we are bringing our energy into

3:55 the space of another person. We're very conscious of you know, how am I saying something? Or you know how am I dressed? Or all those different details, But when we're actually interacting with somebody, we're bringing our biosphere right near and in their biosphere and I call it managing your particles or your your sub atomic particles, but we're actually bringing our energy into their energy, and it's it's a more intimate thing than folks realize. And the more we understand what frequency is and how it plays a role and how we co create, I think the better our relationships will be, the more positive the outcomes will be if we understand the concept of frequency in our everyday interactions.

4:36 Well, I love that you walk through all the different parts of life, because we all wear a lot of different hats right where parents, we're you know, employees, we're different. You know, we're leaders of organizations, of teams, and frequency matters in all of those spaces. So I'm curious when you, like, if you look back on life a little bit, like when did you first art to feel and understand how important frequency was around you and for you? Like were you a kid? And like a very like in tune child would talk us through that. Yes, I was. I was very sensitive. The term sensitive can also be translated as intuitive, very clear, this, that and the other thing. And I found that there were moments in my life in my childhood where I would get an intuition about something and it would end up being correct and it had a very positive outcome. And I would get an intuition about something else and it would guide me to go one direction or the next.

5:40 And I started to recognize that my sensitivity or my intuition was actually a skill. It wasn't something that, oh, I'm you know, over sensitive. Because in my first book I talk about I was upset that the lawn was cut. That is, that's a certain level of sensitivity. But it also ended up being a little bit more practical as I got older. So when I was a child, I was extremely sensitive, very very empathic, would feel into the feelings of others. I never wanted anyone's feelings hurt to a fault. And I also would be that child that would line up my stuffed animals and make sure they were comfortable because I felt like they felt their experience. So that is really where it was rooted from. And then as I got older and I started to test that intuition, I started to recognize there's more to life than what I understand. There's more to life than what I've been taught. There's more to reality than is actually available to us. So I went down the rabbit hole of research and reading lots of things to get to frequency.

6:44 Well, your frequency. You said something about it not working, like being to a I think you said to a fault. And that made me wonder when there's been a time for you that you ignored it, like you didn't listen to the intuition, and something happened after that that made you realize you didn't listen to the intuition. But can you walk us through a situation where that's happened to you and how you kind of learn what you learned from that experience. Sure, I think in life we have relationships are the arena that we learn the most. We learn the most from our relationships, whether they're great relationships or strain relationships.

7:27 And there was a specific relationship that I had where there was a bit of a betrayal that occurred and the intuition that I had. You know, sometimes when we have an intuition of something, you know, feeling right or not so right, it is anchored into am I reading into this? Am I looking for something that isn't there? And we want to give folks the benefit of the doubt. We want to see that everyone is coming from the right place. And most of the time I think folks are I really do. I truly believe that that folks have the right intention. But sometimes when our intuition is telling us something doesn't feel right or we're not sitting, something doesn't sit well with us, and we ignore it and then we find out that we were right along.

8:10 That is when it is sort of the ding that I talk about in frequency matters. You know, wait for the ding. So what I've actually learned to do with intuition is hem and hall a little bit until I get enough concrete data from the experience or from the exchange to say ding. And that is when I know I'm on point with intuition. But it was a betrayal, and in that betrayal, it made me realize that it's okay to step back and say where's my discernment? And discernment is a really important thing to cultivate when you have intuition or when you are very sensitive to a situation, because because a lot of individuals that are empathic really feel into to a person and have an incredible amount of compassion, and so you have this compassion, you deeply care, you're always looking for that can't be the situation, No, and then you get blindsided that it was the situation.

9:15 And so I learned in that experience that when I feel uneasy and it comes to me in the form of strong anxiety, when I feel that unease, something isn't in alignment with my best interests. And when something is not in aligned doesn't mean a person as a bad person. But if something is not in alignment with my best interests, then I need to step back and recognize my intuition is telling me something that is very important. Did that answer your question. Yeah, very much so. And I it also made me curious about that little girl with her stuffed animals all lined up, because I that that. You know, my dear son loves raccoons and he has a whole family of them.

9:57 He turns he turns eleven tomorrow, and I'm going to set them up for HI when he gets on from school. I'm really excited about this. I'm going to set them up and have them be like partying for his part for his birthday. But you had, you had that attention to even like inanimate creatures, which is very cute and very special to me because my son is the same, and I want to know who a person is like who is a who did who did you learn from? About frequency? At a young age. It came to me through consistent reading, believe it or not. At a very I was an avid reader and I loved going into the bookstore. I played a lot of sports, So the term frequency came to me when I, excuse me, went down the rabbit hole of trying to understand what I was feeling. You know, why am I feeling what I'm feeling? Why am I getting the experience? Is that I'm getting what is truth? What is false? And what is reality? And so playing sports, I would find certain I would have a certain mindset and how that particular game would go, how the relationships would go. If I would it would handle it a certain way. And there was one moment I'll never forget this tie. I was in a seminar and I was teaching, and I was a person came in late. They're in the back of the seminar, and they came in late, and they were really frustrated and they were banging their paper down, and I remember thinking in my head, this person is going to be that one person that is going to derail the whole program. And I'm sitting there thinking, oh my goodness,

11:29 this is going to derail the whole program. And I started to have those normal feelings of getting frustrated and how am I going to handle this? And am I going to stand near them? You know all the tips and tricks we have as professional speakers to manage group dynamics when they had the potential of getting out of hand. And then I stopped myself, and I stopped myself and I said, you know what, I Am going to sit here and I'm going to have in my mind. I'm going to love this person. I'm going to put in my mind the term I love you as they are fussing in the back of the class, and I'm going to not I'm going to stop any kind of judgment, any kind of frustration in my mind. I'm just going to stop that thinking pattern, and I'm just going to flood the concept or the mindset of I love you, and I just it was a test. And the more I did this that she calmed down and I carried my energy a little bit differently. I was a little bit softer, I wasn't so defensive, I was a little bit more receptive. I started to recognize, let me see, if this works. It was a test, it really was, and she started to ease up, get me more relaxed, started to calm down, and then she raised her hand and I answered her question. And I answered it in a way that was receptive, It was positive, It was it was very, very connecting, and I realized at that moment I had power with the way that I thought that I carried myself, the mindset that I had in shifting the entire seminar and that particular experience. Normally I

12:59 would read in a manual that would say here's what you need to do to handle this. You know all the different directions. But I thought, I want to try something different. I want to see if I can shift the energy here. And I wanted to do it genuinely, not a tip or trick. I wanted to truly see is this person's energy? Are their particles all over the place? And can I help them stabilize their particles by not by holding space for them a little bit while they get unfussed. And they sure enough did, and they ended up being one of the best participants in the class. She did not disrupt the class at all. I think she just needed a little love and it was really positive.

13:41 So when you asked me, did someone influence me? Yes, I've had all sorts of you know, parents and a field hockey coach, and teachers and friends. That all influenced me. But I think it was the testing of concepts that really solidified it for me, in recognizing what I was feeling inside and how I was applying that to my external environment. Field hockey. Yes, tell me about field like I can't picture Kristen doing field Did you like it? Oh, my goodness, ty, I played. Yes, I played field hockey. I loved it. Fun I did. I got a scholarship in field hockey. Uh, and I was also Hall of Fame. It was fun, just a little little bit of a I was an athlete and I loved it. I played field hockey, I ran track, I was a cheerleader and in the school play. So I did a lot of different things, felt a lot of different energy fields.

14:39 If I might, Yes, different types of. Personalities are attracted to different energy fields, and I was able to observe that. So thank you for that question. That that really was a great way to see that our experience as children a lot of time are we're in the environment. So I saw the field hockey. I played front line in field hockey. Wow, I wouldn't. I I did not know that. I didn't, and I'm grateful that I do now. And I'm grateful that you shared that you had a variety where it was like you were in, you were an athlete and you were in you said musicals, Yes, musicals a very different fields in the high school realm of social life.

15:22 So that's really cool that you were able to have that variety. I also did a lot of things, but I couldn't figure out the athlete part I did. I was a swimmer, and it was yes, and but it wasn't. It wasn't. It wasn't a team at my high school. So like I wasn't was not considered an athlete at my school, even though I was doing you know, two hour night some practices for the majority of high school. But the thing that I'm noticing a lot in whether you're you know, whether you've got a field hockey stick in your hand or you're at that bookstore, is you're learning and you have developed these tools to use. And you didn't say that, you said specifically like this isn't a tip or a trick, but it is because people, you know, what you said about love, like doubling down on love in a difficult situation could apply in so many different situations. So I kind of have a two pronged question there because I want to know what you've had to unlearn that you thought was true about frequency and about how frequency shows up for us. But then what you what's the most common thing that that shows up across all the different learnings that you have about frequency.

16:32 So it's maybe kind of the same question, but go with that where you may. Yes, when when we think of frequency, we think of the highest frequency being authenticity. A person wants to be themselves. Okay, say they want to be their natural personality, but every field of energy that they're in, there's going to be different ways that it feels. So to the example that we gave with you know, a childhood or someone growing up, they're playing a sport that feels a certain way. You're an executive, it feels a certain way. You're a writer, or you're a teacher, you're a parent, it feels a certain way, and in the context of that feeling will come a certain way of processing information, processing our environment, and then giving ourselves that sort of internal language around what are we interpreting in that environment, And where the challenge sometimes comes in is as a person is in a space where they feel confident and great about where they are, they can speak to the topic. They feel confident, they are a Jedi in that space. But if you put them in a completely different environment, they may feel a little bit uncomfortable. And if you're sensitive, intuitive, empathic, it's easy to feel defensive. It's easy to have walls up for good reason, because now you're all of a sudden absorbing or a tuning, or swimming in a whole different energy field where you have to find your sea legs.

18:05 So I use the example of grabbing someone. Your swimming example is perfect ill diving into a pool of energy, and they have to learn to swim in that field of energy, that space. Then you have to learn to swim in different types of spaces, and the biggest challenge you have is unlearning your defense mechanisms to stay open, to stay receptive, to stay aware. But discernment not defensiveness. So discernment is where as you begin to have a more sophisticated level of understanding your frequency or your energy, you'll be able to say I like this, I can move towards this. I'm going to draw a boundary here. I like this, I'm going to engage in this process.

18:47 I'm going to draw a boundary here, rather than going into a space aggressively or negatively or anything like that, and rather holding back or letting somebody go into your space without a boundary. So when we think of being really authentic and having that authenticity to be ourselves, recognizing that every single experience we have, we have our own little universe where we feel empowered and safe. But when we swim in different pools, right, it's a whole different ballgame. And we have to recognize that being humble, being receptive, receptive, listening and learning in that space will allow you to feel the energy of a brand new environment, skill, role promotion, parenting, situation.

19:36 You'll find that frequency is in all these different experiences and you have to unlearn what made you feel super confident in the other pool. And that I think is an invitation for many individuals at an individual level and a collective level, because when the pandemic hit, everyone started to recognize that really fast. We're all all of a sudden, we're in a situation where we have this, we have to navigate technology, we have to navigate this, we have to navigate that. And so those that maybe listening may recognize you remember that place of oh my goodness, I'm on the air, and do I look at the right way?

20:16 And is zoom recording me when I stand up? And all the jokes on the air were there with the shorts being on. But it really was a snapshot of humanity at its finest, because I think it really showed us that, you know, we can either pretend we're all perfect in doing all the right things, or a pandemic is going to show us what humanity is and we're going to learn how to swim in different pools together. And that is what frequency is. Well, you said a lot about how a person I mean, you said a lot with a few words I should say about how at the root of everything, people just want to be themselves. Like that's a very powerful thing, because yes, and the world kind of gets in the way, like you know, you and I were joking around about zoom filters and different you know, things that change our presentation to the world and make us not quite not quite ourselves. But at the root of it, Ultimately, we all just want to be ourselves. So what happens in situations when people aren't allowed to be themselves for whatever reason?

21:23 It sometimes happens in corporate or in you know, different settings when you know maybe the different kinds of water to lean into your swimming pool analogy, But when someone's not allowed or encouraged to be themselves, what happens? And what can that teach us about our relationships and how we show up for others. I always make the distinction between authenticity and then recognizing authenticity, and then the authenticity that we bring into our professional environment. So we can be authentic in one space where we let our hair down personally, but when we jump into a professional environment, it's authenticity polished. And the greatest definition for authenticity in a professional arena is consideration. Just when you are authentic and you are truly being in that professional space, you are embodying the vibration or the frequency of consideration. When you are in an environment where all of a sudden you start to feel that I can't be myself or you are being in that considerate space.

22:23 That's the definition that we're answering in this piece here. It's great information to recognize. Am I going to be able to utilize all of my talents? Am I going to be able to really contribute in a way that is fair to the organization, the team that I'm working in, the environment that I'm in, and is it fair to my talents and my skills. And that's one of the biggest reasons why in frequency matters I talk about having screens and playing to your strengths bo both on the end of the employer bringing in someone that they really feel is a great fit so that they can tap into their genius, tap into their strengths and they're thriving without running down the line and finding that they're not a really great fit. And I also encourage folks when they're applying or they're in an environment and it doesn't resonate, to really step back and say, is this something that's temporary?

23:15 Is this something that can be worked out? Can I have a conversation, a critical conversation and massage that into a better outcome. Can I be. Honest and authentic and deeply connect with someone and really get an outcome that is going to give me a positive result? Win win or is this a win win no deal back to seven habits of highly effective people. Right, we pin back to the win win or no deal principle. If we exhaust you know, if we are in the camp of being considerate and we are that authenticity that is mindful of the place that we work, and we've had the critical conversations, we've exhausted all the options and there's no deal, then it's not a win win for anyone. And I always recommend someone to I always recommend start to explore where the environment will support you, what environment will feed your heart, your soul, your value system, where you can thrive. It doesn't have to be this dramatic, hard, you know, transition. It can be something that moves softer.

24:15 But if it is, then maybe that's just an alignment of frequencies. When things come into my life and they instantly disappear and I think, oh, I really wanted that, or that didn't work out. Somebody reached out to me and asked me that. They said, oh, I was about to donate something to a client, and they didn't get back to me. So I never was able to donate that to the client. And my first instinct was you weren't a vibrational match. There was someone else that was going to benefit from what it is that you were donating because they were a vibrational match to it. And maybe it was the vibration of generosity. Your frequency was vibrating generosity, and who you were trying to generate or donate that too might have had the vibration or the energy of struggle or and that's not going to be a match. So all of a sudden, somebody that was really filled with gratitude and really feeling gracious, they were the match to that frequency. So when it does get really tricky, I do believe that if you stay too long in something that doesn't really resonate with your energy, you're not doing yourself or anyone around you a service.

25:25 We've all been there, Yeah, and it's it's it's one of those you know, another Franklin Covey thing is says easy does hard, right, So it's another one of those like we know, you know a lot of times we know we have that feeling, we have that pull, and it's just it's hard for whatever reason. So how do you work through the heart when when when you know, like you know that it's it's the wrong fit frequency wise, how do you what's the first step you can take toward writing that ship. The first step is to focus on where your mindset is. Do a personal inventory. I have an exercise where I have folks get a piece of paper and draw a big baby cartoon head of themselves looking into their mind, and then just draw little dots in that big cartoon babyhead and say, what are your deepest core beliefs? Target those deep core beliefs and find out, am I thinking patterns causing me to feel discomfort? Are my belief systems causing me to feel discomfort? Am I in alignment? Are my belief systems in alignment with the environment I'm in.

26:31 Once you do the inner work of the self awareness and the self inventory, you can become very clear about I am really clear that I've done the inner work, and I feel really good about who I am and where I stand and what my morals, values and ethics are, and I feel that this is not a good fit. The next thing to do is to start to really take inventory of the environment and see are there any opportunities within. Maybe if it's a small operation, there might not be. If it's medium, there might be one or two opportunities that you can segue into a different department. If it's a large organization, and I've worked with many large organizations, I would advise and coach an individual to explore a whole different wing or area or even a site an off site where they can stay in alignment with the organization they love. Maybe they're just not connecting with their immediate supervisor at that time. So it really does depend on the size of the organization and the players at play, and whether that person is truly connected to where they are working and they love it, or if it's you know, they've decided, you know, I'm really not aligned with the organization, then they begin that process of saying I am clear about who I am. I recommend this book, The Zen and the Art of Making a Living I have recommended so many people to read that book. I read it in my journey, very early in my career. I give it the credit that Zen and the Art of Making a Live in by Larne G. Bolt, was the book that told me to be a professional speaker. Ultimately, after I worked out the questions and and I found

28:02 out that is what my calling was. It really allowed me to get to the heart of all the different complexities of person is so find out your core nature, find out you know, who moved my parachute, and then if your environment cannot offer you an option, then find an environment that does. Because I really think that if you spend your time, your energy, and your resources in a space where you don't feel aligned, you don't feel you're appreciated, you don't feel that you're getting you're not being respected in the way that you deserve, or you're not feeling that there is a win win outcome here, that doesn't really help anybody. And it's the ideal is the idea is to move on to something that does resonate.

28:47 Wow, Like that's a you know what I heard you say, Kristen, is it starts with you? Yes, get out of your own way, right, Like, if there's an issue that's that's happening, it's not their fault, it's it's on you to figure out what you what aligns with you, and what your beliefs are and all of the things. So I think that there's there's there's pressure in that, but it's also kind of a relief because it's like it does, it does start with you, And I love that cartoon bubble map idea I like, I have found my brain, kind of picturing it for myself in real time, and it reminded me a little bit of the movie Inside Out. Have you seen that movie and the Inside Out too? No?

29:29 Oh my gosh, you as a frequency girl, you need to see both of them. The second one I was. I went to see it with my kids in the theater and I was like the obscene, obnoxious one in the pack cry. I was either crying like like like the sobbing crying or laughing. There was no in between the entire time. Because as a as a person that studies humanity and psychology, and I love I just love people, and I love studying how the mind works. It's just a fascinating study and it brings a lot of what you said was just like glowing up lights from my brain on from inside out. So everybody needs to see that movie. And the second one is even better. So the stuff we talked about is a little bit hard, Like I feel like, you know, getting to know yourself should be a joy, and it is in a lot of ways, but it can be difficult, and you know, pushing outside of a situation that's uncomfortable to grow and become better. It's a little a little hard. Let's talk something more fun. So another place where frequency comes in, obviously is music, and music is one of my I talk about mindset, music and movement and how those tools have essentially helped me build my own real life from the ground up, and music is so crucial to that.

30:47 So when we talk about music, I need to know what is Kristen Mackie's song of survival? Like, do you have a song that you go to in times when you need to ground yourself? Yes? You do, I know you do. Yeah. Absolutely my favorite song, and it is a song it's called Conviction of the Heart by Kenny Loggins. Yeah. Just such a beautiful song, and it is a reminder that we are all connected and that everything is connected, We're all connected to each other, and it reminds me to ground myself in the heart centered thinking. It's uplifting, it's inspiring. I watch the video and I just love it. Conviction of the Heart by Kenny Loggins. I love that song. That's a great one, and I love the meaning behind it. So thank you for sharing that with me. What would you tell twenty two year old you if you could.

31:37 Twenty two year old me, I would tell twenty two two year old me that it's have fun with life, you know, just have fun. Sometimes when you are you're at a certain age, you don't realize how young you are. You know, there's so much pressure. I see this when I work with universities. I see this when I work with students, And this question reminds me of my own twenty two year old self when I was just graduating college and I have to, you know, change the world. And you know it's yeah, you can change the world. You could try to change the world. You can follow your gut and move in those directions. But you're also twenty two years old. There's so many things to experience, and it's such a time of discovery. It's such a time of exploration. So I would tell my twenty two year old self to just have a little bit more fun.

32:28 Yeah, I love that. I want to know what you're doing to have fun now, though, Like, how are you following your own advice as whatever age you are today? Yes, I think fun is what we make it. You know. Everybody's so wired differently. And I am a runner. I absolutely love to run, and I take my dog on the beach I'm in Florida, so having fun and running on the beach with my dog, meeting all the other dogs. It's just such a playful and joyful thing to do, and I just love it. It's just such an amazing thing. And I know that sometimes when we are at that age twenty two years old, we're kind of navigating life.

33:09 When we're pressured. We sometimes put so much pressure on ourselves, and I think it being able to relax a little bit is an important thing for young people to remember. Yeah, I know I needed it. Yeah, slow down. I mean, I need to follow that advice because I'm horrible it's slowing down. I like to keep going and I kind of live in this realm where I feel like I'm running out of time constantly. So I got to like remember to just it's okay, slow down, take a breath. You can sit on your butt and read a book for a while and not have to be responding to thousands of comments on your video about roller coasters, you know, Like Kristen, I have this video right now, and it's funny that we're talking about having fun because I have a video on TikTok right now that's going pretty crazy and it has a it's a roller coaster SYNCD with Taylor Swift to music, and it's a dream and something that I have been wanting to do for so long, but I didn't have the technology to make it happen. So my husband actually bought me the glasses that you can record on Christmas and I so cool. They're so cool. And now I am sharing and I'm feeling I'm just it's very much fresh in the moment right now. So that's why I'm sharing it with you because I feel like I need to remember just to slow down a little bit. It's okay, It's okay to slow down.

34:27 We all do, we all do. I find that when we do that, our brain waves get better. I get better ideas when I slow down, and it just feels better, doesn't it tough? It does? It does? I also get all But my problem is I also get all the ideas while I'm working out, and then I have no way or mean of like writing anything down in the moment, and I lose all of all of those world changing ideas. Just oh god, you'll take a notebook with you. You got to take a note or record it? Right? I should? But I so what I do is I have this virtual reality headset, like one of those big white Yeah. So it's like I can't write and do because I'm I'm fighting aliens essentially, like I have the I have the lightsabers, and I'm going crazy about them.

35:11 But it's really fun and I find that it's music, mindset, and movement all in one, which is part of why it's such a happy place for my brain, because all three of those things thrive when I'm you know, doing the crazy lightsaber battles. But Supernatural is more than lightsaber battles. It's a it's a workout game and it's amazing and it's changed my life. But you run, and Sport runs with you, and Sport is the cutest little doggy guys. I think he's not on camera, but he's adorable. And I want to know what is an unreal life that you've experienced? And I was like, it's a horrible turn, but I don't it's okay. What is an unreal moment from your life that you have experienced that has changed the trajectory in some way for good or for bad?

35:57 An unreal experience in this was pre nine to eleven, So I really want to stress that. It was pre nine eleven. I was in my twenties and I was traveling extensively. So I would travel anywhere from eight to thirteen cities a month, and I would have my bag in my polyester suit and I would just go city to city to city. And I remember once landing in North Dakota, and I was exhausted. It was the kind of exhausted you get when you get cold, do you know what I'm you know, and you get so tired you're cold, And so I get on this plane and I'm so ready to go home and We're supposed to be flying. It was in North Dakota and we were flying into Detroit and I'm sitting there and exhausted, tired.

36:40 We ended up sitting on the airplane four or five hours. It was before some of the regulations, and I was exhausted, but I was in the front of the plane. And then all of a sudden, I start to hear the flight attendants talking to the pilot and they started to say, I don't think we're going to be able to land. This ice storm that has been grounding us is not good to allow us to take off and land in the city. The whole city is frozen over. So I'm listening to them say that the city is frozen over. There are no hotels, we're not gonna be able to get rental cars. We're grounded because we can't fly into the city. And I thought, okay, well then they're probably gonna pull the plate over and let us get all off because I am hankering for a brownie Sunday in my room and I just want to get there. So that's not what happened. What happened is I'm sitting there listening and all of a sudden, I hear them get on the intercom and say, all right, we're gonna we're gonna take off. We're gonna head out to the city.

37:36 And my entire body just went boom, it just lit up, and I just thought, I have to do something. I don't know why I have to do something. Is that intuition that came inside I have to do something. So no, I'm not gonna do anything. It's that hemming and hauling that we get with intuition, and it's a practice. No, I'm not gonna do anything again. Nine to eleven, oh, doing back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. So I stood up and then I lifted the bag. I lifted the overhead. I was very calm, very centered. I grabbed my bag down and I've just very professionally walk up and I say, excuse me. I did hear what everyone said, and I think you should pull see that little that just can we just pull the plane over and let let us off, because I did hear what you had to say, and you were flying us into an area that is completely frozen over. If you look behind me, we have elderly in this plane. We have children in this plane. I was young at the time, so you know, I was really fired up and not you know, emotionally, but strong. You know, I didn't have the wisdom I have now. And she said, ma'am, I think you just need to sit down, and it was calm, and I, no, I really think that we should pull the plane over. No hold on, let me talk to the let me talk to the pilot. So she pulls me in and she comes back out in the pilot.

39:00 You know we're going to take off. Noah, I heard you say that you're flying us into it a nicy city. Are you saying that? You know I don't have any control I'm not allowed off the plane. Is that what you're saying? And so next thing, you know, they open up the cockpit. They let me into the cockpit. So now I'm in the cockpit. This is a true story. And I'm in the cockpit. And now I'm and I'm in the cockpit. I'm looking to the left, hello, and I'm looking to the right, hello. And they say, ma'am, what are you doing in the cockpit? You know, you were not pulling the plane over. And I said, I heard everything that was said. And we have a whole flight of individuals where we have been here for five hours, four or five hours. There's a little door right there.

39:47 You could just scooch over and let us off the plane. You're flying us into a frozen city. And I you know the story, needless to say, he says, I'm looks at the gentlemen. They pulled the plane over. They pulled the seven thirty seven over, and they put it up to this. They put the door down, and it was like a scene in a movie. I got out of the plane and I'm walking and at this point I was shaking. It was, you know, it was one of those moments. Three quarters of the plane got off. The airport was completely dark, and it was just me and everybody in the airplane behind me. I'm shaking, my eyes are watering. I cannot believe. Number One, that I just did that. Number two, I was successful at doing that, and I'm not in trouble again. It was pre nine to eleven. I wasn't yelling, it wasn't anything negative, but it was at that moment it felt like a scene in a movie. I remember just being being filled with so much emotion, and I remember thinking the power of good communication skills, the power of holding your energy grounded and centered and influenced, the power of speaking truth into a space, the power of conviction of your heart right, the power that that had. That I just influenced the situation, and all these people got off the plane. Otherwise they would have flown into a frozen city there might have.

41:20 So that was pivotal for me because I was about twenty four at the time, and somebody that probably was a mentor would have coached me not to do that, but I did anyway, and it taught me that if I practice the power of communication and influence and I do the work to understand what it is that I'm communicating aka frequency, then I have the ability to influence positive outcomes in ways that can positively impact other human beings. And even if it doesn't feel like it's possible, even if it feels like there's no way this five foot three, twenty four year old is going to pull over a seven thirty seven, I was able to do that, and it changed the trajectory of my life because it gave me the confidence to write the books that I wrote, to move in the direction of quantum physics and frequency in corporate America and move into the direction of saying, these things are real and energy is real, and you can have a good outcome if you learn them. I don't know if that makes sense, but it was powerful for me.

42:28 It absolutely makes sense, and it is very powerful because it wasn't necessarily easy for you to do that, like it was. It was something that you hemmed and hot over and you were kind of going back and forth with your own self about and then the self that now has prospered one yay and everybody got off the plane and you, you know, saved a lot of people from a lot of potential heartbreak that day, but also not heartbreak, but you know, the inconvenience and safety, you know, elderly folks and stuff on that and an a frozen city is not great, but that is powerful. Thank you for that story. Oh my gosh, I don't know what I thought you'd say, but I wasn't expecting it to involve pulling over at seven thirty seven.

43:13 Well, you know, it's one of those stories that I rarely ever tell anyone actually, so yeah, but when we talk about pivotal, I think, you know, when it comes to life, we all have heartbreak and disappointment and betrayal. And I've had all of those losses and wins that have shaped turn a corner this way or turned a corner that way. But when I pin back to the work that I do, the biggest the biggest block to that work was believing in my own ability to influence an outcome with something beyond someone saying I could do it, yeah, you know, not getting permission to do something, and that was very powerful. So I often like to share with folks that when you anchor to your own authenticity, and when you anchor to who you truly are, your voice, who you are, having that confidence in who you are, you don't always need permission to be yourself. And sometimes when you don't have that permission to be yourself, life will give you an opportunity to test it a little bit so that you will then see the outcome of that.

44:21 And sometimes I made mistakes and I learned those mistakes and thought, that is not what I want to do. I don't want to move in that direction. But I chose that story because I felt like it pinned back to the message around having confidence and moving into a direction when we don't have all the answers, and having the gratitude for some of the harder things that we experience and move forward. Well, it's beautiful. It's a beautiful story, and it's beautifully said. So thank you for that. And it fast forwards us to eighty years old. When you're eighty years old, and she's smiling because I sent her this question before the show peak behind the curtain. But if you fast forward, Kristen to your eightieth birthday, picture who's there? Picture of the music that's playing? Maybe it's our friend, But can you tell me what people are saying, what you want people to say, what you want your legacy to be at your eightieth birthday?

45:18 I would want individuals to say that I saw them, that I had the ability to perceive perceive them, and I see who they are in their authenticity and their beauty, and that in my seeing them, they were validated within. I would want them to say that I inspire them to be themselves, to be themselves, to be authentic, to be real, that you don't have to be perfect to live a beautiful, complicated, messy, gorgeous, textured life. That you can be yourself and be creative, and you can have scars and have resilience, and you can have trophies and have bad moments too. It all comes down to recognizing that the human experience is not without infinite ingredients, chapters and stories and traveling in that space. If you find people that you're surrounded by that can see you, connect with you, they're authentic, they support you on your journey, they're empathic and loyal than you found yourself your true tribe.

46:27 And if I'm surrounded by my true tribe and they feel that I've shaped their life in a way that made them more of themselves, then I have done my work because I feel that there's nothing more beautiful than a person being themselves there's nothing more fulfilling to me personally than seeing somebody be themselves. I don't care how messy they are. I don't care their errors are their mistakes. If they're truly being themselves, and then I think that's one of the most beautiful things a person can be. It's one of the most power powerful things on the quantum field a person can be. So well. I asked that question because Dave Hollis, who tragically passed away a couple of years ago, used to talk about how he wanted to get to his eightieth birthday and look around the room, and he used to reflect on it frequently, and he didn't make it. So I asked that question because I don't think we often take the time to recognize in the moment enough and say in the moment enough to our even like to ourselves obviously, and to our people, to the people that we care about that like, they don't have to be gone for us to say the thing, right. So I think that that that's why I asked the question, and that's why I want to take this chance to say that you know, for what it's worth, my friend, you have done that for me in spades in the course of time. You know, we've known each other for a

47:58 couple of years, and you've made me feel scene. You have inspired me to step fully into myself and to recognize that who I am is enough on its own, and to kind of take back a sense of power and confidence. So I you know, I had the first group of guests that I've had on this show have been so special to me because of them, because people, They've all played different roles in where I've how I've gotten to where I am today. And my friend Emily said it very well the other day where she said that we are mosaic of the people that we love, and that is so true for me. But that is something that, yeah, I know it's a good one. That is something that I feel so strongly about. And I'm so grateful for you and how you've done all of the things you just said that you want people to say about you on your idioth birthday. I'm taking this chance right now to say it to you now because I appreciate you, I'm grateful for you, and I want one to ask you one more, very very important question, which is this, If you had a megaphone and people were strongly encouraged to listen to you for thirty seconds or sixty seconds or two minutes, or however long you want to go. What would your message be to them?

49:11 I would say I would say, be kind, be kind, and in a real way behave it, think it, feel it. The world right now is going through so much change and so many things, and it's easy to be kind, and it feels good to be kind, and it's healthy to be kind, and it's resilient to be kind. But to be kind because most people are more sensitive than anyone ever realizes, and most individuals are going through something that most people have no idea about, and kindness is really what anchors I think life. It really anchers life. So be kind. I keep thinking that my guests aren't going to ever top the last guests with their answer to that question, and somehow it keeps happening because that's a good one and so well said. I really appreciate you, Kristen. Is there anything that I didn't ask you that you would want to share?

50:07 No, I just want to send gratitude back to you. You just are such an amazing professional and you inspire me and everything that you do and your program and everything that I've learned from you. You're just a rock star and it's one of the most inspiring exchanges I've had. So thank you for your time and your energy and your attention to our conversation. TI. You are near and dear to my heart and I am grateful for you. So thank you. Thank you so much, Kristin, and we will see you guys next time on Quick Before You Forget. Thank you for being here with me today on Quick Before You Forget. Please like, share and subscribe as that helps the show so much and I really appreciate it.

50:48 And I'll see you next time on Quick Before You Forget.