April 13, 2026

How to Stop Losing Yourself (And Start Becoming Who You Were Meant to Be)

How to Stop Losing Yourself (And Start Becoming Who You Were Meant to Be)

Welcome to Coach Doc and Ty's circle of trust. Things get real in this second conversation with Dr. Antonio Harrison on Quick Before You Forget and it's meant to meet you exactly where you are.

In this deeply honest episode of Quick Before You Forget, I sit down with behavior scientist and coach, Dr. Antonio Harrison (Coach Doc), to talk about identity, addiction, self-awareness, and what it really takes to rebuild your life from the inside out.

We explore:
The moment he realized he was becoming his father, and intentionally chose differently
Why self-awareness isn’t something you build, but rather something you stop avoiding
The truth about addiction (and why it’s often a relationship with yourself)
How to break generational patterns and choose a new path What masculinity really means and why you get to define it
How to stop numbing and start actually living

This episode is a powerful reminder that no matter how far you’ve drifted, you’re always one decision away from coming back to yourself.

Meaningful Moments:

[00:00] The moment that changes everything: seeing yourself clearly
[01:00] Meet Coach Doc: behavior scientist, father, and truth-teller
[03:00] What matters most: unconditional love and fatherhood
[05:00] A defining moment: his father’s response to crisis
[07:00] Redefining masculinity on your own terms
[09:00] Lessons from sports: discipline, identity, and endings
[11:00] Finding your tribe (and recognizing who’s really there for you)
[13:00] Authenticity attracts the right people
[15:00] Becoming comfortable in your own skin
[17:00] Trauma, survival, and developing awareness as a superpower
[18:00] Resilience through pain and adversity
[21:00] Parenting, perspective, and generational understanding
[24:00] Learning honesty and forgiveness from family
[25:00] How to become more observant (practical tools)
[30:00] Childhood trauma and growing up too fast
[33:00] Separating the person from the addiction
[38:00] Addiction, identity, and toxic self-relationships
[43:00] Turning point: choosing faith and self-work
[46:00] The moment that forced change
[48:00] Growth isn’t linear, it’s a corkscrew
[49:00] Choosing growth instead of regret
[50:00] What self-love actually looks like in practice
[52:00] You’re already self-aware, you’re just avoiding the truth
[55:00] What matters most right now
[56:00] “Much love always”: choosing love in every moment
[59:00] His upcoming books and journey of transformation

Bonus playlist song: Alex Warren, First Time on Earth https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aammt9Mvbwk

WEBVTT

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There's always a moment, and even if you missed that moment,

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another one will come or you get to make a decision.

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And for me, the moment was I had been like

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sitting out back and I looked into the house and

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there's a big window that's I kind of floored a ceiling,

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but from the light outside and the light inside, plus

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a TV in the sun, the way the reflection was looking.

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When I looked in, I saw my reflection and I

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looked like my dad.

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Hello and welcome to Quick Before You Forget, a personal

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growth and development podcast dedicated to helping you build your

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unreal life from the ground up, using tools like music, mindset,

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and movement to remember who you are while you build

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who you were meant to be. Today's guest is doctor

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Antonio Harrison, known by many and loved by many as

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Coach Doc. Coach. Doc is a behavior scientist, an educator,

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a former athlete and coach, and a lifelong student of

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what actually helps people change. His work lives at the

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intersection of discipline, compassion, and lived experience, and today we're

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focusing on his story. Doc. Welcome back to Quick Before

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You Forget.

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I'm excited to be back this is also I had

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a great time the first time to Lawsie why I said, yes,

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the part two.

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Round two. Let's go. So, how have things been for

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you since we first talked.

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Oh, they've been relatively well. You know, there's been some

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changes in my life on but all changes, I mean

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that they're bad. When one door closes, another opens, and

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I am actually at peace with a lot of it.

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You know. It's it's funny. The only job I've ever

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held for longer than five years, it's football.

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Coaching, and you love football coaching.

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I love it, so that's the only thing else. After

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around five year mark, I'm kind of like, I think

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it's time for something new. So to have been the

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last position I was whereas a VR fitness coach for

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seven years, you know, like it was it was like, okay,

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I'm familiar with this, so what's the next door opening?

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Change happens and growth happens on the other side of it.

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So it's good. There's a good mindset that you have there.

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And you know, one of the things that this time

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I think might be offering you is a little more

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time with your kids. So when I was researching for

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our second conversation and kind of re listening to our

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first conversation. One of the things that struck me was

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you love being a dad.

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I love it.

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You love being a dad, So talk to me about how.

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So you know, if you, I guess, had to choose

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something that you want to make sure your kids don't forget,

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what would that be.

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So I'll give you two stories. You know I love

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my stories.

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I'm ready.

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Well, So first, I can't remember, forgive me if I

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repeat anything from part one. But in second grade, Missus

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Russell only remember two things about her class. One was

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building a t rex out of cardboard boxes, and the

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other was, as so many teachers do, they go around

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the room and ask every kid what they want to

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be when they grow up. And my answer was I

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want to be an NBA player and a great dad verbatim.

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And so knowing that at second grade, you know, it

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was really important to me. And I remember if you

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watched the first episode, I talked about ms Atkinson and

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put the notes somewhere. They're on paper bag. Here she

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is again. See, we were once having a conversation and

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I was telling her about how I'm really hoping I'm

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providing well for my kids, and you know, I'm trying

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to do my best. And this was earlier in my

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twenty five twenty six and she said, you could be

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living in a cardboard box. As long as your kids

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know that they are loved, you're doing your job. So

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to answer your question, I just want them to feel

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loved at all times, no matter what, no matter what

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they do. Dad loves you unconditional love. I may not

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agree with what you may have done or how you behaved,

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but it doesn't mean I love you any less.

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How does that reflect what you learned or how you

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were loved by your dad?

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Uh? Both my mom and dad. My mom taught me

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unconditional love. My dad showed me what that looked like,

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especially for a boy. So sixteen years old, pulled over

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for a d you got a DUI in possession, was

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taken in all and they were like eleven pm. Around

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three am they call home. You know I'm gonna get

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released to my parents and they pull me out of

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the seal of a hair andcuff me to a chair

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behind the lobby desk. Carr comes screeching into the parking lot.

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I know that's my mom, like I know it, I

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know it right. My sister opens the door with this

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shit eating grin on her face, just like looking at me.

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My mom comes in and she's going off rightfully so

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and then my dad walks in. And if you've never

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seen my dad, he's about six foot two, two hundred

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and twenty five, two hundred and thirty pounds of salad muscle,

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this very dominating, hulking presence, and he doesn't say a word,

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looking very stoke, and he walks straight to the swinging

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door of the lobby desk and opens it, and all

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the officers are like, sir, sir, and they put their

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hands on their guns. And he walks right over to me,

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lips me up as much as he could, just because

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I'm still handcuffs with a chair, looks at me and goes,

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are you okay? I'm like yeah, and he gives me

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a hug. And we had a conversation about it later

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and he said, you know, he's been through a lot,

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and he goes In that moment, I knew I lost

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my license, I potentially lost my scholarship, I potentially lost

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my college opportunities. There was so much more. I was

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going to maybe a criminal case. There's so much more

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I was gonna have to deal with to yell at

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me in that moment wasn't going to do anything. What

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I needed to know and be reaffirmed of was I

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still love you. I want to make sure you're okay,

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You're my sin. We're going to get through this. And

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so that was a huge moment for me of this

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is what it looks like to show love as a father.

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Well, that speaks to your work with fathers leaders everyday. People,

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what is one myth about masculinity that you want to

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bust for your audience, For our audience.

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I love this. I actually did a whole workshop for

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a high school on masculinity and the number one drive

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home point was you get to define it. No outside

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source can define that. So this idea of toxic masculinity,

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this idea of feminine masculinity, alphamel, dominant, mal, whatever you

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want to call, all these outside voices do not define that.

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You get to define for yourself what masculinity looks like. Now,

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that does have a lot to do with your upbringing

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and the way you see the world. However, I raise

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my son to open doors for both women, men and children.

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That's what we do. I raise my sons to say

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yes ma'am, No, ma'am, Yes, sir, no, sayer. I raise

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my sons to be independent, I raise them to take

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on responsibility, but I also raise them to be kind,

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where if you see someone who's in need of help,

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you go help. If we whenever we're driving and I

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see someone stalled in the street, I pull my car over,

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we get out, and we push that car to safety.

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Mike middle Son just did with me a couple weeks ago.

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And so the driving. The key point I always tell

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folks is you get to define that. Stop listening to

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the out side sources tell you what masculinity is. Points

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and as long as your definition is it harming anyone

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or impedle their right to freedom, your definition is on point.

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Well, you've played sports, You've put a lot of different

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kinds of sports, including NCAA football, and then coached you know,

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high school football for years. I think, do you still

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coach high school football?

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No? I. Once my sons really got into it and

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it became serious, I was like, I'm going to take

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a step back so I can be at their practice,

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is their games. I don't want to lose out time

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with my kids raising someone else's that's fair.

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So tell me though, based on your experience with you know,

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speaking of the masculinity tying that together, but based on

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your experience with sports at that level, how did that

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change how you approach life off the field?

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Discipline a commitment to put in the work even though

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you may never get an opportunity to deploy it at all.

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I've seen so many people put in so much work

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and never get the shine. Or you could be the

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person who puts in all the work and shows up

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and does great things. But because you're not the one

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in the bright lights scoring the touchdowns, your name's not

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in the newspaper. Right. But football is such a unique

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sport in two ways, and that one, it's the ultimate

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team sport. Every position has a job, and the whole

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system breaks down if one person doesn't do their job.

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This isn't basketball, though I love it, where Michael Jordan

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and Scottie Pippeny can just take over and dominate, right

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all so and that and the other thing about it

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is it shows you that there is an end to

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all things. My dad took me to play pick up

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basketball well into his late fifties early sixties. Growing up

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football onlys you hang up the cleats and pads and helmet.

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You don't ever get to put those on again. There's

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no grown men at the park in pads trying to

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play pickup. Like, when it's done, it's done, right, So

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you have to get squeeze all you can out of

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it and learn as much as you can from it

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because when it's over, it's over. And for those kids

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out there are parents who think their kids are going

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to be professionals. Even if they make it and they

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have the greatest career ever, they'll be done at latest

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by mid thirties. Right then, what so what did you

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cultivate within yourself outside of them? And sports in general,

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but especially football has really helped me understand that and

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understand what it means to have a true brotherhood or

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sisterhood or just bond with people for something greater outside

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of yourself.

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Well, tribe matters an awful lot. And yeah, there's a

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lot of I mean talk to that to say, to

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talk to me about how tribe has showed up in

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your life after that time, because obviously you said, like,

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you know, football comes to an end, but you build

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tribe after that, So how does that what does that

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look like?

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You know, one of the lessons I learned is your

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tribe will find you when you are genuine and authentic

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trying to go and find your tribe. It's possible, but

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it's a lot harder. So doing the things you love

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to do and putting it out there, people will come.

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They will show up, and you will genuinely find that.

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It may take a little bit longer as you try

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to figure those things out, but it's also interesting and

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recognizing who within the tribe and the actual dynamics of

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the tribe that is loving and the ones that are not.

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When I got now, mind you, four year starter, freshman

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college athlete of the Year, two time All Conference, when

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I hurt my knee, one person out of a fifty

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plus man roster and twelve coaches came to visit me

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at the high school. What I was used up? My

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purpose as a resource was done. They had to continue

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their season. I get it right, So, but that I.

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Don't get it as a human being, I don't understand

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why were they not there for you?

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Well, you know, it's tough to think, like, how are

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college students who don't have a car going to drive

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forty five minutes to come see the coaches still have

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to play a game the next week, and they've got

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their own family. So yes, what I have loved the

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entire team to be by my bedside. Of course, did

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it hurt, definitely so, but I knew who was my

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real tribe, who was just the tribe for the moment,

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for what I could do for him. That was it.

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And after football, you know, I found my tribe in

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different ways, but definitely through Supernatural and VR fitness, that

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tribe has shown up, especially in current situation. They have

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been there to support and to show love and to

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reach out and offer opportunities and help in any way

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they can. And it's just it's overwhelming and humbling because

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you don't realize the impact you actually make, even when

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people tell you on a daily basis, until you find

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yourself in a situation where you do need help.

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We are both you and I in seasons of change

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and transition. And you know, they talk about the whole

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reason season lifetime if people are in your life for

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a season or a lifetime. But what you're speaking to

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in the group of Supernatural VR specifically is so powerful

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because it is a living, breathing example of what you

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said about being your authentic real self and attracting your tribe,

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and you've done that through this app. But the coolest

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part about the supernatural world that is different now than

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it used to be is we're all doing that, like authentically,

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we're all showing up. You and the other coaches have

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laid this foundation that makes us all feel safe and

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seene to show up as ourselves. And it's just really

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cool to see.

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And it's it's funny because the evolution happened for us

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coaches as well. If you go back to the very

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first workouts released in twenty twenty, all of us are

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unrecognizable when you go to the latest newest workouts all

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and I had mentioned this all with some of the

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private messages I had sent to the coaches, But watching

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their evolution really helped me evolve and become more mile

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authentic self, right understanding that I don't have to be

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them and seeing them be themselves and allowing me to

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be myself and them embracing that was as well with

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the me. It was a it's interesting to think that

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you finally figure out who you are and are comfortable

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with yourself when you're forty two, right, Like it's it's

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a you go, wow, I spent this much time on

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the earth, but now is when I'm finally comfortable in

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my skin wholeheartedly. So it's it's been a nice journey.

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Speaking of that, that journey and the tribe specifically. If

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you had to choose one person to tell you who

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you are, if you forget, who would you choose.

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All like person in the physical flesh or anyone, I'd

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be God reminded, tell me who I am. All when

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I am in silence, all be still, and I an

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I'm got mi going. So that's why I'd want to

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remind me. But if we're talking about in flesh, all

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it be my family. I want my family to always

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remind me of who I am, not just in the

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loving way, but also in the loving way in which

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we will poke at each other, we will make fun

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of each other, we will all test each other, and

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it's always a great thing when I'm with them. There's

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immediately on transport it too. This is what it's all about.

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Tell me about an the earliest moment that you realized

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that you weren't interested in performance but in why humans

283
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behave the way they do? Like, what changed for you? You know?

284
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It was it really had to do When I went

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to college and I was trying to figure out who

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my major was, I just I landed on psychology. At first,

287
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I wanted to be a philosophy major, but I went

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in the philosophy one oh one and my professor forgive me,

289
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but was a pompous asshole and it did not lie him,

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and he made the whole experience horrible. And I was like,

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if this is what it's going to be, I don't

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want any parts of it. So I landed on psychology

293
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because I was like, I want to know why my

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family does the thing they do. I want to understand

295
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who they are. And it wasn't until I ended up

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going into grad school that I realized all of the

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situations and life experiences I had been in created a

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I utilized a survival skill that ended up becoming a

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super power, and that was the skill of observation. I

300
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could walk into a room and diagnose and break down

301
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and analyze everything that was happening. Because when I was younger,

302
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I had to go into rooms or places and go,

303
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there's the exit. That person's safe. I can run to

304
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that person for help. I have to stay away from

305
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that person. And this person's doing something over here that

306
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no one else sees, but I've seen you. And so

307
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when I went into behavior and so, it just made sense.

308
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I had already had a skill that I'd been utilizing

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all my life, and now I get to put some

310
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formal knowledge to it on take sharpen that steel even more.

311
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And so that's really where it came from, was a

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survival skill that ended up being a secret power for me.

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Do you have more of those? I'd love to hear

314
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about another story of survival or struggle becoming a strength,

315
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something that you turned into a good that was maybe

316
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not so good on the surface.

317
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I go back to one being resilience, or when I

318
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did hurt my knee, people don't understand I was. You know,

319
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my first surgery was twelve and a half hours on

320
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the cutting table, and ten hours into it, I started

321
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to come too and they flooded me with anesthesia because

322
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they were scared of anaphylectic shocks. So I was put

323
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into a medically induced coma for three days. Three days, Yeah,

324
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I lost forty five pounds. They as three days. I

325
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woke up a shell of myself and it took me

326
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eight and a half to nine months to walk again.

327
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I was cast at hip to toe and this is

328
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in Iowa from September to June. Like it was brutal

329
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all and so clutching through snow, right, But that was

330
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just another level of resilience because growing up we had

331
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to survive. I had to make sure I'm going to

332
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find where I get my next meal. I got to

333
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make sure that my sister's okay. I got to make

334
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sure that I get all the grades and do all

335
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the things, and play all the sports and give myself

336
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the best opportunities and go to the better schools when

337
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given that chance. So resilience was another common thing. And

338
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as weird as this is going to sound, my dad's

339
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embrasive and aversive coaching style gave me the ability to

340
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have enhanced confidence as well as sometimes it's good, sometimes

341
00:20:04.640 --> 00:20:08.880
it's bad, but compartmentalize emotions. My dad was old school.

342
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He didn't care if you were the best of the worst.

343
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He was going to be right in your face telling

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you what he did wrong. And when I was younger,

345
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as he would be yelling while I was on the court,

346
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I would well up with tears and like just it

347
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just crushed me. And I remember being around twelve years old,

348
00:20:25.039 --> 00:20:29.039
at New Revelation Baptist Church playing in the gym, and

349
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we were destroying this team and he's still yelling, and

350
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it just at that point and I was like, I don't understand,

351
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Like that's just that's how he understands how to coach.

352
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He doesn't know any different. And it went in one

353
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ear and out the other, and I listened to the

354
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message instead of how it was delivered, which gave me

355
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an ability to separate emotion and contents and emotion from

356
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the message, from what I really needed to hear versus

357
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what this person's actually feeling.

358
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Everything in my life reminds me of a song. So

359
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that story made me think of the song by Alex

360
00:21:11.039 --> 00:21:14.480
Warren called First Time on Earth where he talks a

361
00:21:14.599 --> 00:21:17.839
it's a song you wrote for his mom who they

362
00:21:17.839 --> 00:21:19.680
didn't have a good relationship, and it's a long story

363
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that we don't need to go into, but that is

364
00:21:21.640 --> 00:21:24.839
a good song for anybody that needs some perspective and

365
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some grace and some love for a parent that maybe

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doesn't always deliver the message the way that we think

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we need it, but we always somehow get what we

368
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need from it. And we know that our parents love us.

369
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And you know, sometimes it's just their first time on

370
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earth too. They're just figuring it all out too. And

371
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as I'm getting like as I'm getting older, and you know,

372
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my kids are ten and twelve, now, I feel it

373
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every day. I look at my parents when they were

374
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at my age, and I thought they were so old

375
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and disconnected and didn't understand anything, and they were just

376
00:22:01.039 --> 00:22:02.640
doing their dang best, you know.

377
00:22:02.799 --> 00:22:05.839
Yeah, and they're doing their best in a world that

378
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is new to them. Like I look at my kids

379
00:22:08.279 --> 00:22:13.279
and what they have to navigate. I couldn't imagine having

380
00:22:13.319 --> 00:22:17.000
a cell phone in middle school or split alone social

381
00:22:17.039 --> 00:22:21.400
media like they're college, high school. No way I would

382
00:22:21.400 --> 00:22:24.480
have been in so much trouble. But there's absolutely no

383
00:22:24.599 --> 00:22:29.000
way so understanding like what they deal with. Even the

384
00:22:29.160 --> 00:22:32.240
my two older ones are now, you know, my oldest

385
00:22:32.240 --> 00:22:35.640
one has been dating for a while. He's in a

386
00:22:35.640 --> 00:22:38.400
relationship with his girlfriend, and my middle one just kind

387
00:22:38.440 --> 00:22:43.279
of he's going with someone now. Even the I remember

388
00:22:43.440 --> 00:22:45.359
we would stay up on the phone with the long

389
00:22:45.480 --> 00:22:48.960
cord and you would be on the phone all night,

390
00:22:49.000 --> 00:22:51.839
But that would happen maybe once in the week or

391
00:22:51.839 --> 00:22:55.680
something like that. They now FaceTime each other, so there's

392
00:22:56.079 --> 00:23:00.559
constant face to face interaction, even through a advice to

393
00:23:00.599 --> 00:23:02.799
where it's like, oh, let's watch a movie. We can

394
00:23:02.799 --> 00:23:06.079
put FaceTime on and watch it together and press play

395
00:23:06.079 --> 00:23:08.880
on Netflix. Of this, like that blows my mind and

396
00:23:09.920 --> 00:23:12.720
what that does to a dynamic of the relationships we

397
00:23:12.799 --> 00:23:16.599
are going to find out in a few decades. But like,

398
00:23:16.640 --> 00:23:21.160
it's a hard thing to navigate like that. That just

399
00:23:21.240 --> 00:23:25.000
creates a world that unforanted, but I'm learning about.

400
00:23:27.119 --> 00:23:31.599
It's scary. Sometimes it's scary, but we were trying to

401
00:23:31.839 --> 00:23:33.960
trying our best right, like just like our parents did.

402
00:23:34.039 --> 00:23:36.240
And you know what I need to I feel like

403
00:23:36.279 --> 00:23:38.079
I need to be clear that like I am very,

404
00:23:38.200 --> 00:23:41.519
very grateful for the parenting that I got, And you know,

405
00:23:41.640 --> 00:23:44.160
it's it's just interesting when you start to process it

406
00:23:44.240 --> 00:23:47.400
as a as a passion, you know, quote grown up

407
00:23:47.559 --> 00:23:51.200
your own self. That gives you a different level of perspective.

408
00:23:51.960 --> 00:23:54.920
Well, and one of the things that I always praised

409
00:23:54.960 --> 00:23:59.000
my parents for, even though we went through so much

410
00:23:59.039 --> 00:24:01.039
and most people like, how the world are you still

411
00:24:01.079 --> 00:24:04.279
best friends with your dad? He never lied to me,

412
00:24:05.480 --> 00:24:09.039
He owned his shit. He was honest, which gave me

413
00:24:09.200 --> 00:24:13.119
the opportunity to go all right, do I want to

414
00:24:13.160 --> 00:24:15.519
accept that and move forward, or do I want to

415
00:24:15.559 --> 00:24:17.519
be mad at him as opposed to lying to me

416
00:24:17.599 --> 00:24:19.720
and then finding out later that he lied and now

417
00:24:19.759 --> 00:24:22.920
I am mad and holding a grudge. It was my

418
00:24:23.240 --> 00:24:25.960
choice of how I wanted to respond based off the

419
00:24:26.160 --> 00:24:27.400
truth and not a lie.

420
00:24:28.680 --> 00:24:32.440
That's powerful. And similarly, you know, I was thinking more

421
00:24:32.480 --> 00:24:36.079
about what you said about the ability to observe things

422
00:24:36.200 --> 00:24:39.359
like that and the ability to kind of translate it

423
00:24:39.400 --> 00:24:43.240
in your head. That is something that you've honed in on,

424
00:24:43.559 --> 00:24:46.160
You've practiced, you know how to handle it, you know

425
00:24:46.200 --> 00:24:49.079
what you're doing with it. But it's very intimidating for

426
00:24:49.160 --> 00:24:51.720
some people to walk into a room and not know

427
00:24:52.480 --> 00:24:56.759
what they're observing. So I'm curious, honestly, what you would

428
00:24:56.759 --> 00:25:00.599
suggest to somebody that's new and trying to be more

429
00:25:00.680 --> 00:25:05.319
observant and try to be more aware of the surroundings

430
00:25:05.319 --> 00:25:08.359
that they're in emotionally, not just with the words or

431
00:25:08.519 --> 00:25:12.839
the physical environment, but the emotional environment. And that's something

432
00:25:12.839 --> 00:25:15.599
that we could all use more of. So I'm curious

433
00:25:15.680 --> 00:25:18.759
what your advice would be to people that want to

434
00:25:18.799 --> 00:25:22.400
be more observant and adjust their behavior appropriately.

435
00:25:23.440 --> 00:25:28.240
First off, don't stare at everybody right, like, just you know,

436
00:25:28.440 --> 00:25:32.839
as you scan, don't be obvious in Well, I'll give

437
00:25:32.960 --> 00:25:37.759
one very practical tip anybody can use to enhance their

438
00:25:37.759 --> 00:25:42.960
ability to observe behavior, emotions, awareness of the room. And

439
00:25:43.000 --> 00:25:46.920
it's one of the things that made me quickly become

440
00:25:47.160 --> 00:25:50.960
second in command as a bouncer at a club within

441
00:25:51.000 --> 00:25:54.480
a couple months. And I was given the most out

442
00:25:54.519 --> 00:25:57.759
of control area of a nightclub to control, which is

443
00:25:57.799 --> 00:26:04.519
the dance floor. That's where everything happens. And you know,

444
00:26:04.559 --> 00:26:07.960
after every night, after we would work, as you know,

445
00:26:08.039 --> 00:26:11.440
the baristas and the bartenders and the waitresses, as they

446
00:26:11.480 --> 00:26:14.200
would cash out, we would hang out and have a

447
00:26:14.200 --> 00:26:16.920
beer and then we'd all be assigned to somebody to

448
00:26:17.000 --> 00:26:19.200
walk back to their car and then we can go home.

449
00:26:20.079 --> 00:26:22.519
And I remember one night we were sitting there and

450
00:26:22.680 --> 00:26:27.680
the main guy in command was off duty sheriff, and

451
00:26:28.519 --> 00:26:30.640
everybody was kind of joking about how I had only

452
00:26:30.680 --> 00:26:32.000
been there like a month and a half, and all

453
00:26:32.039 --> 00:26:34.039
of a sudden, I've got the best spot and then

454
00:26:34.240 --> 00:26:36.799
and you know all this, you're giving him all this trust,

455
00:26:36.920 --> 00:26:38.400
and he just kind of looked at me and he

456
00:26:38.440 --> 00:26:41.279
goes tell him why. He's like, we've never talked about it,

457
00:26:41.319 --> 00:26:42.920
but I know. And he's like, tell him why you're

458
00:26:42.960 --> 00:26:47.160
able to spont things happening before everyone else, And I said,

459
00:26:47.160 --> 00:26:50.440
I look for the opposites. If you're in a nightclub,

460
00:26:51.599 --> 00:26:57.319
it's supposed to be loud, boisterous. Laughter just made him

461
00:26:57.400 --> 00:27:00.160
kind of on the dance floor. The moment it gets

462
00:27:00.279 --> 00:27:06.039
quite something's wrong, something's long. That means everyone stopped what

463
00:27:06.079 --> 00:27:08.880
they're doing and they're they're watching something that's happening that's

464
00:27:08.880 --> 00:27:12.839
about to unfold. So if you walk into somewhere, you know,

465
00:27:13.160 --> 00:27:17.400
let's say the grocery store, and you hear someone being

466
00:27:17.559 --> 00:27:19.759
from all the way on the other end being very

467
00:27:19.839 --> 00:27:23.319
very loud, that's not supposed to happen in the grocery store. Right.

468
00:27:23.880 --> 00:27:26.960
If you walk into an amusement park where it's supposed

469
00:27:27.000 --> 00:27:29.039
to be very loud and boycious and a lot of

470
00:27:29.079 --> 00:27:30.759
roller course, but all of a sudden, it's dead silent.

471
00:27:31.319 --> 00:27:35.519
What's going on? So looking for the opposite, or at

472
00:27:35.599 --> 00:27:37.880
least being aware when it happens, to be able to

473
00:27:37.920 --> 00:27:42.240
observe that, you can immediately go oh okay. Part of

474
00:27:42.240 --> 00:27:45.559
that too is the other part. So that's the practical tip.

475
00:27:45.640 --> 00:27:47.720
The other part is something that I think you just

476
00:27:47.759 --> 00:27:51.559
have to have had and that life experience all and

477
00:27:51.680 --> 00:27:54.759
being around certain things. So for example, I remember being

478
00:27:54.799 --> 00:27:58.079
at a conference and we were staying at the same

479
00:27:58.200 --> 00:28:01.599
hotel that you have. Sea fighters were staying out because

480
00:28:01.599 --> 00:28:04.799
they were fighting in the arena across the street. So

481
00:28:04.839 --> 00:28:10.720
you've got UFC fighters who were celebrities, right. So when

482
00:28:10.720 --> 00:28:13.359
we went down to the bar, I remember one of

483
00:28:13.359 --> 00:28:16.359
my colleagues going, look at this guy he's got He's

484
00:28:16.359 --> 00:28:19.359
talking about this gentleman at the table. He's like, he's got,

485
00:28:19.480 --> 00:28:22.920
you know, these three beautiful women on his arm. Like wow,

486
00:28:23.039 --> 00:28:26.119
Like that's you know, polyamory at its finest. So I

487
00:28:26.160 --> 00:28:31.279
was like, that's a pemned Well, that's they're not in

488
00:28:31.319 --> 00:28:34.119
a relationship. Look how he's dressed. Look at how he's

489
00:28:34.119 --> 00:28:37.519
scanning the room. Look at what these these women were

490
00:28:37.519 --> 00:28:40.119
doing in terms of waiting for the professional fighter to

491
00:28:40.200 --> 00:28:42.359
walk up. And then he would tap one to go

492
00:28:42.599 --> 00:28:47.039
talk like, don't make the assumption, hold that assumption for

493
00:28:47.079 --> 00:28:51.400
a second, and then just why you'll see what happens. Right.

494
00:28:51.480 --> 00:28:53.880
So it's just some but I wouldn't have known that,

495
00:28:53.920 --> 00:28:56.039
and I'm not seen something like that growing up.

496
00:28:58.200 --> 00:29:00.359
I was going to ask you for your best story

497
00:29:00.920 --> 00:29:02.960
from the from the nightclub, and I think we just

498
00:29:03.000 --> 00:29:08.480
got it. What what happened then? Like what happened next?

499
00:29:09.599 --> 00:29:13.559
Oh? Nothing? You know people, one woman would be with somebody,

500
00:29:13.599 --> 00:29:15.880
another one would get rejected and come back to him,

501
00:29:15.960 --> 00:29:19.200
and I paid no mind to it. The colleague I

502
00:29:19.240 --> 00:29:22.319
was with who was fascinated that I diagnosed that so quickly,

503
00:29:22.759 --> 00:29:24.920
they kind of just watched all night long, and I

504
00:29:24.960 --> 00:29:27.559
was like, I'm not concerned that, Like I'm when I

505
00:29:27.599 --> 00:29:32.000
continue having my I'm not buying you know anything. So

506
00:29:32.359 --> 00:29:34.880
you know, whatever view of a day.

507
00:29:36.440 --> 00:29:40.400
Well, I love your stories. So tell me an unreal

508
00:29:40.480 --> 00:29:43.839
moment that's happened that made a significant impact on your

509
00:29:43.880 --> 00:29:46.200
trajectory of your life, good for good or bad.

510
00:29:48.119 --> 00:29:51.200
You know, I told the knee injury story, so I'll

511
00:29:51.319 --> 00:29:58.519
leave that there. I think that was a big one.

512
00:29:58.759 --> 00:30:05.200
I think another one for me was my mom would

513
00:30:05.319 --> 00:30:10.759
have this thing where, when she really wanted to share something,

514
00:30:11.640 --> 00:30:14.319
she would ask if I wanted to go run errands

515
00:30:14.319 --> 00:30:17.519
with her? What kid wants to run errands with their mom?

516
00:30:17.960 --> 00:30:21.920
No kid, right, unless they're gonna get something. But I

517
00:30:23.119 --> 00:30:26.160
found I observed the pattern that every time she did that.

518
00:30:26.759 --> 00:30:28.880
We really didn't run any errands. We like went to

519
00:30:28.920 --> 00:30:31.519
the post office box and then kind of drove around.

520
00:30:32.920 --> 00:30:35.559
But she needed the distraction of the road so that

521
00:30:35.599 --> 00:30:38.200
she didn't look at me, so that she could share

522
00:30:38.279 --> 00:30:41.519
whatever she needed to share. You know, maybe that's not

523
00:30:42.839 --> 00:30:45.799
you know, you don't want to put some of the

524
00:30:45.799 --> 00:30:50.799
burdens on your child. But again, the truth was import

525
00:30:50.880 --> 00:30:54.319
in our home. So at ten years old, my mom

526
00:30:54.440 --> 00:30:58.599
couldn't come up with any more excuses of why like

527
00:30:59.640 --> 00:31:02.440
Christmas present ter missing, or why dad would be gone

528
00:31:02.440 --> 00:31:06.079
for multiple days or would be you know, on vacation

529
00:31:06.279 --> 00:31:08.480
or visiting his family for a couple of weeks or

530
00:31:08.480 --> 00:31:12.000
whatever all and so she just came out and was

531
00:31:12.039 --> 00:31:15.759
just like, your dad's going in and out of jail

532
00:31:16.039 --> 00:31:20.279
because he has an addiction to crack cocaine. And I

533
00:31:20.319 --> 00:31:22.920
can't keep lying and making up excuses. I feel really

534
00:31:22.960 --> 00:31:25.680
bad and I'm out of lies, and I just need

535
00:31:25.680 --> 00:31:28.000
you to know that and understand, like, this is why

536
00:31:28.000 --> 00:31:30.079
I'm working so many jobs. This is why, like I

537
00:31:30.119 --> 00:31:31.880
need so much help with you and your sister, you know,

538
00:31:32.200 --> 00:31:37.079
your little sister. And so yes, part of my innocence

539
00:31:37.400 --> 00:31:41.079
was stripped there as a ten year old, But I

540
00:31:41.079 --> 00:31:44.599
immediately understood, like it's time to put child is stays away,

541
00:31:45.519 --> 00:31:48.319
Like my mom needs me, my family needs me, and

542
00:31:48.880 --> 00:31:51.839
I'm going to make sure that I'm there and doing everything.

543
00:31:51.920 --> 00:31:54.119
So my mom loves to tell the story how she

544
00:31:55.039 --> 00:31:57.400
never had to help me with homework or even see

545
00:31:57.480 --> 00:31:59.519
me do it, because she'd be like, do you have homework?

546
00:31:59.519 --> 00:32:01.000
I'm like yeah, She's like, well, when did you do

547
00:32:01.039 --> 00:32:03.240
it on the bus ride home? Well, don't you have

548
00:32:03.279 --> 00:32:06.799
a spelling test? Far? I studied on the bus riders, right, Like,

549
00:32:08.079 --> 00:32:10.880
I just took care of the things I was supposed

550
00:32:10.880 --> 00:32:13.920
to take care of, my chores, my grades, my athletics,

551
00:32:14.519 --> 00:32:17.000
you know, being respectful. I just made sure that that

552
00:32:17.279 --> 00:32:21.400
wasn't a burden she would need to carry. Was my

553
00:32:21.559 --> 00:32:25.039
misbehavior when she already had to carry so many And

554
00:32:25.079 --> 00:32:27.079
then once the cat was out of the bag, my

555
00:32:27.160 --> 00:32:30.680
dad just thought it, you know, it's safer instead of

556
00:32:30.680 --> 00:32:33.359
being in the streets to just use that home. So

557
00:32:33.480 --> 00:32:37.480
that changes everything because now you see it first hand

558
00:32:37.799 --> 00:32:41.920
what it physically and psychologically does to a person in

559
00:32:41.960 --> 00:32:45.160
the moment that they're high, and it's a scary thing,

560
00:32:46.039 --> 00:32:50.599
and you know, so you want to talk about being observant.

561
00:32:52.200 --> 00:32:55.559
You got to pay attention. You better pay attention because

562
00:32:55.640 --> 00:32:58.160
you don't know what you could be walking into at

563
00:32:58.240 --> 00:33:01.799
any given moment. And so you have to recognize the patterns,

564
00:33:01.880 --> 00:33:07.720
recognize the sounds, who recognize the movements, recognize the tone

565
00:33:07.759 --> 00:33:10.200
of voice in a way in which someone is talking

566
00:33:10.200 --> 00:33:12.640
to go, oh, this is not a moment to come

567
00:33:12.680 --> 00:33:18.440
and bother or ask for anything to make me hyper aware.

568
00:33:18.759 --> 00:33:21.920
Which is amazing, Such a gift and a blessing to

569
00:33:21.960 --> 00:33:26.559
come out of it. And you speak highly of your dad,

570
00:33:26.720 --> 00:33:31.400
like you respect him, you love him, and you've had

571
00:33:31.400 --> 00:33:35.160
to forgive him for a lot of things. So how

572
00:33:35.200 --> 00:33:37.559
have you worked through forgiveness?

573
00:33:39.440 --> 00:33:42.720
You know all besides the honesty piece of him always

574
00:33:42.720 --> 00:33:47.279
being honest, I was able to look and go when

575
00:33:47.359 --> 00:33:51.720
he's using that that's not my day. Like that drug

576
00:33:51.799 --> 00:33:56.799
has such a grip on him, everything about his look,

577
00:33:57.359 --> 00:34:00.440
his actions, his words, Like that's not the person I know.

578
00:34:01.279 --> 00:34:04.440
When he's not using, he loves me and he has

579
00:34:04.519 --> 00:34:07.119
me on his hip and takes me everywhere and just

580
00:34:07.200 --> 00:34:10.079
praises me and introduces me to everybody right and like

581
00:34:10.480 --> 00:34:13.679
puts me in all these beautiful situations. So I was

582
00:34:13.719 --> 00:34:16.599
able to go, that's not him over there. This is

583
00:34:16.639 --> 00:34:19.639
who I choose to see as my dad. And there

584
00:34:19.679 --> 00:34:23.599
was only one time where it was really really difficult

585
00:34:23.840 --> 00:34:29.400
for me. He had spent my entire senior year in jail,

586
00:34:30.079 --> 00:34:32.920
and it was my best high school year of athletics,

587
00:34:33.360 --> 00:34:35.559
and I was just I was all in the newspaper

588
00:34:35.599 --> 00:34:39.199
all year, like all of it. And at the end

589
00:34:39.199 --> 00:34:41.079
of the year they give high school awards, you know,

590
00:34:41.880 --> 00:34:44.920
Applete of the Year, val Victorian, all that type of stuff,

591
00:34:45.440 --> 00:34:48.599
And so they called my mom and go, you know,

592
00:34:48.639 --> 00:34:51.199
we're not supposed to reveal to the students, but because

593
00:34:51.280 --> 00:34:54.039
your son's gonna win Athlete of the Year, we want

594
00:34:54.039 --> 00:34:55.360
to let you know so that you can come to

595
00:34:55.400 --> 00:34:58.719
the assembly. And so it just happened to be that

596
00:34:58.840 --> 00:35:03.840
my dad was relief the day before. So we pick

597
00:35:03.920 --> 00:35:06.960
him up, and you know, we have a pack of

598
00:35:07.000 --> 00:35:08.880
new Ports, a Snickers bar, and an orange set of

599
00:35:08.880 --> 00:35:10.880
those are like the three things he always wanted coming

600
00:35:10.920 --> 00:35:14.760
out of jail. We go home and I'm telling him like, yeah,

601
00:35:14.800 --> 00:35:16.039
this is the thing, We're gonna get it, and he

602
00:35:16.159 --> 00:35:18.880
like comes home, we all have dinner or whatever, and

603
00:35:19.000 --> 00:35:21.800
goes to his favorite spot to eat and he gets

604
00:35:21.800 --> 00:35:24.119
all his clothes, he irons them, he sets him out

605
00:35:24.119 --> 00:35:25.800
by the side of his bed. He's gonna have this

606
00:35:25.880 --> 00:35:28.719
problem with his son. And I go to school the

607
00:35:28.760 --> 00:35:32.880
next morning and I get up on stage and I

608
00:35:33.039 --> 00:35:35.079
look out and I see them, my mom and my

609
00:35:35.199 --> 00:35:38.159
sister in the back row, but my dad's not there.

610
00:35:39.039 --> 00:35:43.840
And I knew immediately what happened. I knew immediately, Oh,

611
00:35:43.880 --> 00:35:47.400
they got him. He got excited about some thing, got

612
00:35:47.400 --> 00:35:49.719
all dressed, and he probably did it really really early

613
00:35:49.800 --> 00:35:52.360
in the day. And that gap from like nine am

614
00:35:52.760 --> 00:35:56.960
till that two point thirty assembly, he's just sitting in

615
00:35:57.000 --> 00:35:59.119
the house while my sister was at school and my

616
00:35:59.159 --> 00:36:02.880
mom was a work by himself, and he just couldn't,

617
00:36:03.199 --> 00:36:06.559
you know, avoid the pull, and he win did what

618
00:36:06.599 --> 00:36:10.840
he did. And so that was like the roughest And

619
00:36:12.719 --> 00:36:16.800
I got the award, walked off stage, walked off the rows,

620
00:36:16.960 --> 00:36:19.800
handed it to my mom, and walked out and walked home.

621
00:36:20.800 --> 00:36:22.880
And I always felt bad about doing that because my

622
00:36:22.920 --> 00:36:24.599
mom and sister were there to support me, and I

623
00:36:24.599 --> 00:36:26.840
should have recognized that in giving them their law the

624
00:36:26.960 --> 00:36:30.719
prompting that moment, but I was so hurt all and

625
00:36:30.800 --> 00:36:32.920
so we've talked about it my dad and I and

626
00:36:32.960 --> 00:36:36.880
that was one moment. But again I also understood like

627
00:36:37.599 --> 00:36:42.679
the pull of that level of addiction didn't matter that

628
00:36:42.719 --> 00:36:45.840
I was his son, like he couldn't control it.

629
00:36:47.840 --> 00:36:52.119
Addiction is so hard. Yeah, and I speak from experience.

630
00:36:52.400 --> 00:36:55.519
Oh excuse me. Your story made me a little emotional,

631
00:36:55.599 --> 00:36:58.239
So I speak from experience, and I want to say,

632
00:36:58.400 --> 00:37:01.960
I'm really sorry that that happened to you. I just

633
00:37:02.079 --> 00:37:05.440
feel that that you know, was not it was heavy,

634
00:37:05.480 --> 00:37:08.360
and it's it's still with you, and it's it's so

635
00:37:09.119 --> 00:37:14.159
inspiring how you've been able to still have that relationship

636
00:37:14.159 --> 00:37:16.719
with your dad and talk through and work through and

637
00:37:16.800 --> 00:37:18.639
even kind of feel bad for your mom and your

638
00:37:18.639 --> 00:37:21.400
sister and what was a really hard situation for you.

639
00:37:21.159 --> 00:37:23.880
You handled it as best you could. And I wish

640
00:37:23.880 --> 00:37:26.480
I could go back and give Coach Duck then a hug,

641
00:37:26.800 --> 00:37:28.559
you know, just to be like, you know that you

642
00:37:28.559 --> 00:37:30.039
did the best you could with what you had in

643
00:37:30.039 --> 00:37:33.159
that situation, and it sucks like that, just that whole

644
00:37:33.199 --> 00:37:36.880
thing just sucks. And you know, we've talked a little bit,

645
00:37:36.960 --> 00:37:39.480
and I've shared a little bit about my own struggles

646
00:37:39.480 --> 00:37:43.199
with addiction, not super publicly, like I've shared a little

647
00:37:43.199 --> 00:37:45.880
bit on my TikTok, but not so much like in

648
00:37:46.159 --> 00:37:50.519
this kind of conversation. So I know that. You know,

649
00:37:50.559 --> 00:37:53.440
my husband used to say exactly that that I was

650
00:37:53.480 --> 00:37:57.239
not me when I was drinking, and you know, me

651
00:37:58.159 --> 00:38:02.559
is actually pretty special. I've grown to love myself and

652
00:38:02.599 --> 00:38:05.159
I don't need to drink in order to love myself.

653
00:38:05.199 --> 00:38:07.159
I used to feel like I had to drink to

654
00:38:08.000 --> 00:38:11.800
numb and to mask and to have that energy like

655
00:38:12.000 --> 00:38:14.719
I have this energy regardless of the alcohol. In fact,

656
00:38:14.719 --> 00:38:17.559
it's way more real and authentic with without it than

657
00:38:17.559 --> 00:38:21.079
it was with it. So you know, I know that.

658
00:38:21.280 --> 00:38:23.360
And you can share as much as little about this

659
00:38:23.440 --> 00:38:25.039
as you want. But I know that you've had some

660
00:38:25.079 --> 00:38:28.719
struggles too, and you know, knowing that and talking with

661
00:38:29.079 --> 00:38:33.320
you about that, there's such power in sharing these things

662
00:38:33.320 --> 00:38:36.360
that are kind of hard to talk about. So can

663
00:38:36.400 --> 00:38:39.840
you talk us through your twenty twenty four a little

664
00:38:39.880 --> 00:38:43.280
bit in terms of how you walk through that valley

665
00:38:43.719 --> 00:38:47.679
and more importantly, how you worked your way through it

666
00:38:47.719 --> 00:38:48.360
and out of it.

667
00:38:49.239 --> 00:38:53.559
Well, I'll go back even further on It's it's interesting

668
00:38:53.599 --> 00:38:56.239
because that moment I walked out and handed my mom

669
00:38:56.239 --> 00:38:58.119
and trophy and walked home, I walked home to go

670
00:38:58.159 --> 00:39:02.320
smoke weed like that. That's what I did, right, So

671
00:39:02.480 --> 00:39:06.320
I was all sports and then when I was twelve

672
00:39:06.360 --> 00:39:09.800
years old, I got invited to come hang out with

673
00:39:09.840 --> 00:39:12.880
some of the I was part of the cool athlete click,

674
00:39:13.079 --> 00:39:14.840
but then there was like a cool party click that

675
00:39:14.880 --> 00:39:17.760
invited me to hang out. So the first time ever

676
00:39:18.000 --> 00:39:23.199
ingested anything you know, foreign in my body, wine coolers, beer,

677
00:39:23.320 --> 00:39:29.199
tequila shots and bong rips like at twelve. So you

678
00:39:29.239 --> 00:39:34.880
know that the weed kept going. The alcohol wasn't a

679
00:39:34.880 --> 00:39:36.760
big thing until high school came, and then it was

680
00:39:36.840 --> 00:39:40.239
high school parties and now you cambine the two mom.

681
00:39:40.320 --> 00:39:42.840
I also, you know, started smoking cigarettes at twelve in

682
00:39:42.920 --> 00:39:47.119
stealing them from my dad. And then when I got

683
00:39:47.119 --> 00:39:49.679
to college, I mean we were in a four stop

684
00:39:49.800 --> 00:39:52.519
like town with these brilliant minds. And if you've ever

685
00:39:52.559 --> 00:39:56.239
been in an institution where there are it's one of

686
00:39:56.320 --> 00:39:59.840
the top top appid academic organizations are places to be.

687
00:40:00.159 --> 00:40:03.000
What you will recognize really fast is they work really

688
00:40:03.039 --> 00:40:07.000
really hard and play just as hard. Every place I've

689
00:40:07.039 --> 00:40:10.000
ever been with that type of level of intelligence, That's

690
00:40:10.000 --> 00:40:12.880
what I've seen. And so it just carried on and

691
00:40:13.000 --> 00:40:17.480
like we really learned how to take them back. But

692
00:40:17.599 --> 00:40:23.639
then you leave and that you know, power our Century

693
00:40:23.719 --> 00:40:27.400
club walking around with the shirt and people marking on

694
00:40:27.480 --> 00:40:29.440
you know how many shots you've taken on like that

695
00:40:29.559 --> 00:40:32.880
stuff is. That's that's college. That's like a world that

696
00:40:32.960 --> 00:40:37.039
doesn't exist in society, and now you're supposed to manage

697
00:40:37.079 --> 00:40:43.119
all of that. And hey, I'm always careful in calling

698
00:40:43.159 --> 00:40:48.199
myself a former addict or in talking in therapy. What

699
00:40:48.280 --> 00:40:52.159
I've come to note is that I wasn't an addict

700
00:40:52.199 --> 00:40:55.719
as much as I had a toxic relationship with things.

701
00:40:55.760 --> 00:40:59.800
Because stopping or taking you know, seventy five days to

702
00:40:59.840 --> 00:41:03.119
do seventy five hard or choosing not to indulge was

703
00:41:03.480 --> 00:41:06.360
not an issue for me. The issue was when I

704
00:41:06.440 --> 00:41:11.400
chose to indulge. We got down, like, I'm you want

705
00:41:11.400 --> 00:41:14.800
to party, like you better be ready, right, But if

706
00:41:14.800 --> 00:41:17.320
you don't want to party, I just didn't have to.

707
00:41:19.280 --> 00:41:22.559
But then you get older and now that I'm not

708
00:41:22.639 --> 00:41:24.840
going out to nightclubs when I got three kids and

709
00:41:24.840 --> 00:41:29.840
a wife, I'm not. I've got a few friends who

710
00:41:29.880 --> 00:41:33.159
may come over, but like I'm not the house, and

711
00:41:33.199 --> 00:41:39.519
then you're by yourself, and then it's now I'm indulging

712
00:41:40.000 --> 00:41:42.960
in weed and alcohol and cigarettes to just slow my

713
00:41:43.119 --> 00:41:46.639
mind down because my mind's racing because I haven't dealt

714
00:41:46.639 --> 00:41:50.800
with anything that's you know, been building up over the

715
00:41:50.880 --> 00:41:53.880
last couple of years or that day, and you start

716
00:41:53.920 --> 00:41:58.559
to rationalize, well, I'm just like I was as a kid.

717
00:41:58.639 --> 00:42:02.039
I'm taking care of all my response abilities, so you know,

718
00:42:02.960 --> 00:42:05.360
the kind of do what I want, and my parents

719
00:42:05.360 --> 00:42:06.880
will let me go and do things. Because it was like,

720
00:42:06.960 --> 00:42:08.639
what can I say to him? He's getting straight a's,

721
00:42:08.679 --> 00:42:11.039
he's in the newspaper for sports, his room's clean, he's

722
00:42:11.039 --> 00:42:12.880
taking care of his little sister when we need him.

723
00:42:12.880 --> 00:42:16.400
Like when you say, like you know, and then you

724
00:42:16.400 --> 00:42:19.400
start to rationalize that as an adult, well, I'm providing

725
00:42:19.440 --> 00:42:22.920
for my entire family as a soul breadwinner. I'm at

726
00:42:22.960 --> 00:42:25.159
all of my kids events. I'm doing everything I can

727
00:42:25.280 --> 00:42:28.800
to be a loving father and a better husband. But

728
00:42:28.960 --> 00:42:32.400
when it's bedtime and everyone goes to sleep, oh that's

729
00:42:32.480 --> 00:42:37.480
my time. And I found my time happening too often,

730
00:42:39.440 --> 00:42:44.639
and the level of intake that my body could take

731
00:42:44.840 --> 00:42:50.719
rising and rising and rising all and so you know it,

732
00:42:50.719 --> 00:42:53.199
it came to a head, not actually in twenty twenty four,

733
00:42:53.239 --> 00:42:58.119
but in twenty twenty five, all when my middle son

734
00:42:59.320 --> 00:43:06.400
had asked if he could get a Bible, and I

735
00:43:06.440 --> 00:43:12.000
was like, okay, why because you know his mom was

736
00:43:12.079 --> 00:43:14.239
raised Catholic and she doesn't go to a master or

737
00:43:14.239 --> 00:43:16.079
anything like that, but she stops at church whenever she

738
00:43:16.119 --> 00:43:20.840
needs to prayer. All I always talked about spirituality in

739
00:43:20.880 --> 00:43:23.039
the universe, and so they had these conversations at the

740
00:43:23.039 --> 00:43:26.880
dinner table and he chose that route, and I was

741
00:43:26.920 --> 00:43:29.280
proud of him for making a decision, and he was

742
00:43:29.360 --> 00:43:31.880
just like, I don't know, I really enjoy reading psalms

743
00:43:31.920 --> 00:43:35.400
and like seeing those on videos and stuff like that,

744
00:43:35.440 --> 00:43:38.400
I want to read it for myself. And I had

745
00:43:38.480 --> 00:43:41.920
always spent time in my life at different points searching

746
00:43:41.920 --> 00:43:44.360
out a relationship with God, not in a religious way,

747
00:43:44.400 --> 00:43:47.320
but in a personal connection way. And I was like,

748
00:43:47.440 --> 00:43:50.639
you know what, I think it's flying for me to

749
00:43:50.760 --> 00:43:55.039
return to that and give it a real try. And

750
00:43:55.079 --> 00:44:00.639
that's what I did, and it just turned out wonderful.

751
00:44:01.039 --> 00:44:04.039
I mean, I felt that piece. I didn't feel the

752
00:44:04.119 --> 00:44:07.760
need to slow my mind down. I didn't feel like

753
00:44:07.800 --> 00:44:11.400
I was carrying these burdens that I couldn't share with anybody.

754
00:44:12.679 --> 00:44:15.800
And what I came to find really quickly was the

755
00:44:15.840 --> 00:44:20.199
toxic relationship I had with alcohol and weed was actually

756
00:44:20.239 --> 00:44:22.159
a toxic relationship I had with myself.

757
00:44:26.679 --> 00:44:28.760
I want to ask you to say more about.

758
00:44:28.440 --> 00:44:33.800
That, Yeah, because how do you fix that?

759
00:44:33.960 --> 00:44:36.280
Like, how do you how do you start working on

760
00:44:36.880 --> 00:44:40.480
fixing that relationship? Because that obviously first you have to

761
00:44:40.880 --> 00:44:42.960
see it, right, like you have to see it. You

762
00:44:42.960 --> 00:44:45.280
have to understand that this is Okay, I am I

763
00:44:45.320 --> 00:44:48.880
am the problem, but also I, with the help of

764
00:44:48.920 --> 00:44:53.199
God in this conversation, in the solution. So but how

765
00:44:53.360 --> 00:44:56.480
but getting there is hard. I mean, like, as somebody

766
00:44:56.519 --> 00:44:59.239
that's been in that and had to make that decision,

767
00:45:00.159 --> 00:45:02.440
it's not easy, and it's like a it's a daily

768
00:45:02.679 --> 00:45:06.559
decision to choose yourself and to love yourself enough to

769
00:45:06.639 --> 00:45:10.559
not go back down that road. So I mean, how

770
00:45:11.079 --> 00:45:13.760
when you when you talk about the Bible and reading

771
00:45:13.760 --> 00:45:17.000
the Bible and how that helped you, can you get

772
00:45:17.039 --> 00:45:22.039
practical with us and say, like how that like what

773
00:45:22.079 --> 00:45:25.320
it was or was there a moment that things kind

774
00:45:25.320 --> 00:45:28.159
of started to shift or how do you you know,

775
00:45:28.159 --> 00:45:33.239
how do you work through that uncomfortable part of understanding that, oops,

776
00:45:33.320 --> 00:45:35.199
I'm I am the problem.

777
00:45:35.480 --> 00:45:39.519
Yeah, one like you said, is recognition on two you

778
00:45:39.559 --> 00:45:44.360
have to pour into yourself, right, And so I started

779
00:45:44.360 --> 00:45:47.000
to create disciplinary habits. I was going to read two

780
00:45:47.000 --> 00:45:49.320
pages a day of the Bible and I never read

781
00:45:49.360 --> 00:45:52.400
it when I've read all the other religious texts except

782
00:45:52.400 --> 00:45:54.519
that one. I was going to read thro the whole thing.

783
00:45:55.760 --> 00:45:58.000
I was going to engage in prayer, I was going

784
00:45:58.039 --> 00:46:01.480
to exercise. I was, you know, gonna pick back up

785
00:46:01.519 --> 00:46:04.440
my meditation and be very committed. And I was gonna

786
00:46:04.480 --> 00:46:09.159
do these things. And so I I utilize those daily

787
00:46:09.199 --> 00:46:14.159
habits to allow me to continue to grow that momentum.

788
00:46:14.559 --> 00:46:20.840
But the other thing is there's always a moment, and

789
00:46:20.920 --> 00:46:24.480
even if you missed that moment, another one will come

790
00:46:25.079 --> 00:46:27.440
or you get to make a decision. And for me,

791
00:46:27.559 --> 00:46:31.639
the moment was I had been like sitting out back

792
00:46:31.679 --> 00:46:35.719
and I looked into the house and there's a big

793
00:46:35.840 --> 00:46:39.000
window that's I kind of florid a ceiling, but from

794
00:46:39.039 --> 00:46:41.679
the light outside and the light inside plus a TV

795
00:46:41.840 --> 00:46:44.039
and the sun, the way the reflection was looking. When

796
00:46:44.039 --> 00:46:47.599
I looked in, I saw my reflection and I looked

797
00:46:47.679 --> 00:46:53.880
like my dad like saying posture, saying look on his face,

798
00:46:54.760 --> 00:46:57.880
saying the way we would rub our hands and I

799
00:46:57.960 --> 00:47:02.400
was like, oh shit, yeah, I'm not doing the things

800
00:47:02.480 --> 00:47:06.679
my dad was doing in terms of the level of

801
00:47:07.039 --> 00:47:11.559
narcotic and so I thought it was okay, but like,

802
00:47:12.840 --> 00:47:15.639
oh no, my sons are experiencing the same thing, just

803
00:47:15.679 --> 00:47:20.000
with something different, same shit, a different day. And that

804
00:47:20.119 --> 00:47:24.199
moment for me was like Nope, can't. Can't. I love

805
00:47:24.239 --> 00:47:26.519
my dad to death, but I know I don't want

806
00:47:26.559 --> 00:47:32.039
that relationship to have that dack story. So there's gonna

807
00:47:32.079 --> 00:47:34.559
be moments like that that will come where you have

808
00:47:34.639 --> 00:47:40.280
to make a decision and if it's if it's something

809
00:47:40.320 --> 00:47:44.400
that is aversive enough, you'll make the right decision right.

810
00:47:45.039 --> 00:47:47.639
And the other thing is people have a tendency to

811
00:47:47.679 --> 00:47:51.760
go on this hamster will look growth. I start here, Rise, Rise, Rise,

812
00:47:51.800 --> 00:47:54.119
and I'm right back and doing this. And one of

813
00:47:54.159 --> 00:47:58.960
the things that helped me understand what growth really is

814
00:47:58.960 --> 00:48:01.719
is visualizing it in different way. Instead of making this

815
00:48:01.840 --> 00:48:04.719
mistake and beating myself up and not giving myself grace,

816
00:48:04.920 --> 00:48:07.400
was instead of a hamster will, there's gonna be a

817
00:48:07.440 --> 00:48:12.239
clok screw, So I'd go round. That'd make some mistakes,

818
00:48:12.239 --> 00:48:14.599
but I'm going to keep moving forward, make some mistakes

819
00:48:14.599 --> 00:48:18.880
and to keep moving forward, but it's gonna continuously go up. Right,

820
00:48:19.719 --> 00:48:22.199
Sometimes that little funnel wi get shorter and it'll go

821
00:48:22.280 --> 00:48:26.559
up Baxter. Sometimes it'll get longer because I've gone around

822
00:48:26.559 --> 00:48:30.159
the bed right, and so thinking about it in that

823
00:48:30.280 --> 00:48:32.920
way instead of all right, it's okay, I made that mistake.

824
00:48:33.119 --> 00:48:34.719
I'm not gonna be myself up about it. But what

825
00:48:34.760 --> 00:48:37.360
am I gonna do next step? Where am I gonna go? Right?

826
00:48:37.400 --> 00:48:43.880
And it's just what's the next thing? And here's the

827
00:48:43.920 --> 00:48:49.039
other part. When you start to pour into yourself, you

828
00:48:49.280 --> 00:48:53.119
have to be willing to accept the good that comes

829
00:48:53.239 --> 00:48:55.639
with it. And what I mean is you'll start to

830
00:48:55.760 --> 00:48:59.360
recognize things that you didn't see before, and you can

831
00:48:59.400 --> 00:49:01.519
either beat you self up about it or you can

832
00:49:01.559 --> 00:49:06.199
go Man. I feel blessed my eldest son, who used

833
00:49:06.199 --> 00:49:09.039
to be attached to my hip. Once he kind of

834
00:49:09.079 --> 00:49:12.960
got into the fourth fifth grade, like our relationship was

835
00:49:13.000 --> 00:49:16.760
just different all and I was just like, he doesn't

836
00:49:16.800 --> 00:49:18.280
I don't know if he even likes me like I

837
00:49:18.280 --> 00:49:20.639
know he loves me head does he even like his dad?

838
00:49:22.159 --> 00:49:26.159
And when I started to get four into myself, guess what,

839
00:49:26.280 --> 00:49:29.280
he started talking to me more on his own Now

840
00:49:29.320 --> 00:49:32.239
I could have gone, Man, I messed that up so much.

841
00:49:32.320 --> 00:49:34.440
Look at what I could have had. I feel bad

842
00:49:34.480 --> 00:49:37.440
about myself. I'm gonna go do something else to make

843
00:49:37.440 --> 00:49:40.400
me feel better where I could have gone. Oh, this

844
00:49:40.440 --> 00:49:43.440
is one of the benefits. I love that benefit. I'm

845
00:49:43.440 --> 00:49:45.599
gonna keep doing this so I get more of that thing.

846
00:49:47.800 --> 00:49:51.280
You're a Self love has been a journey for me personally,

847
00:49:51.480 --> 00:49:54.119
and I talk about it in my book Try and

848
00:49:54.159 --> 00:49:58.519
slp of Transformation quite a bit. It's the US in storm.

849
00:49:58.599 --> 00:50:02.519
So in my chapter I just discuss becoming the storm

850
00:50:02.760 --> 00:50:07.880
and storm is a acronym for self love, tenacity, optimism,

851
00:50:08.039 --> 00:50:13.360
relationship and mindset, and the self love part I think

852
00:50:13.440 --> 00:50:17.199
feels very hard, hard for people to break down, Like

853
00:50:17.239 --> 00:50:22.159
if you don't understand how to love yourself, I don't

854
00:50:22.159 --> 00:50:24.440
know how you can how you can start loving yourself.

855
00:50:24.559 --> 00:50:27.840
So you know, one of the analogies that comes to

856
00:50:27.920 --> 00:50:30.800
mind for me is it's a It's an analogy. I

857
00:50:30.800 --> 00:50:33.280
can't take credit where. I heard it at Rachel Hollis's

858
00:50:33.440 --> 00:50:36.960
Rise Minneapolis event back in twenty nineteen, but she was

859
00:50:37.000 --> 00:50:40.480
describing a vase and how the vase, you know, you

860
00:50:40.960 --> 00:50:43.360
can be full of water and you can keep pouring

861
00:50:43.400 --> 00:50:45.639
and pouring and pouring, but eventually that vase will be

862
00:50:45.719 --> 00:50:48.400
empty and or crash and fall and break and chatter

863
00:50:48.400 --> 00:50:52.760
into a thousand many pieces. Versus if you stand tall

864
00:50:53.760 --> 00:50:56.599
and let the world and the blessings, like you said,

865
00:50:56.639 --> 00:50:59.199
like you just see so much more. I think for

866
00:50:59.280 --> 00:51:04.280
me it's just been like life changing. How when you're

867
00:51:04.320 --> 00:51:09.360
not numb, you do experience so much more bad and

868
00:51:10.159 --> 00:51:13.280
you actually get to experience all of the good. So

869
00:51:13.360 --> 00:51:16.000
when you stand tall and you let those good things,

870
00:51:16.079 --> 00:51:19.760
those that good energy pour into you, it overflows, as

871
00:51:19.760 --> 00:51:23.880
opposed to always constantly pouring out and breaking you overflow

872
00:51:24.039 --> 00:51:28.320
because you're letting the world, letting God, letting your friend's family,

873
00:51:28.800 --> 00:51:33.480
everything pour into you, and allowing that is actually a

874
00:51:33.559 --> 00:51:38.360
choice of self love. Yes, it's just it's it's a

875
00:51:38.400 --> 00:51:41.480
hard thing for people to take that first step. So

876
00:51:41.639 --> 00:51:44.400
I you know, when you and I are speaking the

877
00:51:44.440 --> 00:51:47.639
same language and we're both very i'd say self aware,

878
00:51:48.119 --> 00:51:50.079
And one of the things that you talk about in

879
00:51:50.119 --> 00:51:53.599
your courses and in your work is self awareness. So

880
00:51:53.719 --> 00:51:57.599
I think it's a superpower. But how do people do it? Like,

881
00:51:57.639 --> 00:52:00.559
how do you be more self aware so that you

882
00:52:00.599 --> 00:52:03.239
can then start loving on yourself harder.

883
00:52:03.960 --> 00:52:07.239
I think. I think one of the common misconceptions is

884
00:52:07.239 --> 00:52:09.599
that it's something you have to try to do or be.

885
00:52:09.800 --> 00:52:12.760
You're already self aware. You're just lying to yourself about

886
00:52:12.760 --> 00:52:16.519
certain things. Stop lying like it's as simple as that.

887
00:52:17.119 --> 00:52:20.360
You know the truth. You know the truth when you

888
00:52:20.360 --> 00:52:23.079
look in the mirror what you are and are not

889
00:52:23.239 --> 00:52:26.159
doing like stunt do you know when you're lying to

890
00:52:26.199 --> 00:52:28.400
yourself and when you're lying to others, But you know

891
00:52:29.079 --> 00:52:33.039
right you're already self aware what you do with that.

892
00:52:33.039 --> 00:52:36.480
That's where it comes into play. If you know that

893
00:52:36.519 --> 00:52:40.800
you're lying yourself about timpthing, let's do something different. I

894
00:52:40.880 --> 00:52:43.000
you know, I have a client I worked with and

895
00:52:43.719 --> 00:52:47.119
all you know, it wasn't anything that had to do

896
00:52:47.159 --> 00:52:49.000
with addiction or anything. So it wasn't it in the

897
00:52:49.639 --> 00:52:51.960
terms of detrimental in her life in that way. But

898
00:52:52.360 --> 00:52:57.079
one of the things I told her was stop comparing

899
00:52:57.119 --> 00:53:00.800
yourself to the outside world of what is supposed to be.

900
00:53:02.039 --> 00:53:05.119
If this is how you want to be, accept it

901
00:53:05.239 --> 00:53:08.480
or stop complaining about it. If you're complaining about it, it

902
00:53:08.599 --> 00:53:10.039
means you don't like it and you want to be

903
00:53:10.119 --> 00:53:14.480
something else, Well, then let's be something else if not,

904
00:53:15.239 --> 00:53:18.360
be fine with who you are, Like it's if that's

905
00:53:18.360 --> 00:53:20.800
what you want to do. No, I'm not judging you

906
00:53:20.920 --> 00:53:25.599
for it. You're judging yourself, right, So it's not about

907
00:53:25.599 --> 00:53:28.239
the societal expectations and the pressure from the outside. What

908
00:53:28.320 --> 00:53:31.559
are you actually feeling? Because if you are feeling judging

909
00:53:31.599 --> 00:53:35.639
and judged about what's going on, really, are you the

910
00:53:35.639 --> 00:53:38.360
one who's judging yourself? Are you lying to yourself about

911
00:53:38.360 --> 00:53:40.920
how you actually feel about this thing? And if you

912
00:53:40.960 --> 00:53:43.000
are and you want to change it, well, then let's

913
00:53:43.079 --> 00:53:45.679
let's stick to a solution. But if not, then you're

914
00:53:45.719 --> 00:53:50.360
okay with it. Stop complaining, Stop complaining and it Just

915
00:53:50.440 --> 00:53:56.480
accept it for what it is. Right, Yeah, you are

916
00:53:56.480 --> 00:53:59.599
already self aware. You've just chosen to lie to yourself.

917
00:54:01.199 --> 00:54:03.920
Our friend, coach Mark says something about that where you know,

918
00:54:04.000 --> 00:54:06.559
he says, if you're not willing to fight for what

919
00:54:06.599 --> 00:54:08.920
you don't have, then you can't you can't complain about it,

920
00:54:09.360 --> 00:54:14.119
and it's just it's a powerful thing. Excuse me. So,

921
00:54:14.320 --> 00:54:16.360
I have a couple questions that I want to wrap

922
00:54:16.400 --> 00:54:19.280
with that are a little bit more quick hitting, and

923
00:54:20.280 --> 00:54:23.559
one of them is one is one thing about your

924
00:54:23.639 --> 00:54:26.840
season of life that you're in right now that you

925
00:54:26.880 --> 00:54:27.719
don't want to forget.

926
00:54:32.559 --> 00:54:37.280
I think the biggest thing is that God is always

927
00:54:37.400 --> 00:54:41.280
with me and always hide the spin. And it's just

928
00:54:41.400 --> 00:54:46.559
now that I started to feel, recognize, appreciate, and respect that,

929
00:54:47.840 --> 00:54:51.800
and that it's okay to feel that. Just like we

930
00:54:51.920 --> 00:54:54.480
talked about, I'm going to accept that as my truth.

931
00:54:54.800 --> 00:54:57.760
I don't care how polarizing it feels for other people.

932
00:54:58.320 --> 00:55:00.719
I'm not going to beat you over the head with it,

933
00:55:01.679 --> 00:55:05.840
but allow me to have my truth. You want yours,

934
00:55:06.360 --> 00:55:07.239
I'll give you yours.

935
00:55:07.320 --> 00:55:11.840
This is mine, and by living it, you embody it.

936
00:55:12.440 --> 00:55:17.079
Yes quick before you forget. What matters to you most

937
00:55:17.159 --> 00:55:17.599
right now?

938
00:55:18.840 --> 00:55:22.400
Our family all that we've you know, it's always been

939
00:55:22.480 --> 00:55:25.239
that long. And that family is the ones who live

940
00:55:25.239 --> 00:55:27.360
in my house, pulse extended, ones who show me love

941
00:55:27.400 --> 00:55:31.639
and support. Like I put all my stock in relationships,

942
00:55:32.000 --> 00:55:36.800
I'm very aware that without others, I don't exist. And

943
00:55:36.880 --> 00:55:41.119
so we are social creatures. And as much as we

944
00:55:41.239 --> 00:55:45.119
love to give love and we cramed it at receiving

945
00:55:45.159 --> 00:55:49.760
it often like don't rob others all that gift, right,

946
00:55:49.880 --> 00:55:52.800
you feel that love when you share, let those do

947
00:55:52.880 --> 00:55:57.960
that for you. Cool and so I'm accepting that love

948
00:55:58.280 --> 00:56:00.400
in a way that I've never accepted it before.

949
00:56:01.800 --> 00:56:04.880
One of your catchphrases, and I believe you might have

950
00:56:04.920 --> 00:56:09.039
a course built around it, is much love. Always talk

951
00:56:09.079 --> 00:56:11.440
to us a little bit about what that means to

952
00:56:11.519 --> 00:56:15.079
you and why you feel passionate about sharing that message.

953
00:56:17.000 --> 00:56:23.239
Much love always embodies unconditional love, and it has nothing

954
00:56:23.280 --> 00:56:25.280
to do with whether or not I know you, whether

955
00:56:25.360 --> 00:56:29.920
or not you're fring or foe. It is a constant

956
00:56:30.000 --> 00:56:35.639
reminder that in my response to anything, I can choose love.

957
00:56:37.360 --> 00:56:39.440
I can choose love. I was just sharing with you

958
00:56:39.519 --> 00:56:43.280
before this I got into it wasn't even a fender bender.

959
00:56:43.360 --> 00:56:45.480
Some guy kind of sideswipe me, and when we got out,

960
00:56:45.519 --> 00:56:49.000
it was it was his fault, but he just like

961
00:56:50.039 --> 00:56:54.599
he was older, gentleman, and he was basically not basically

962
00:56:54.679 --> 00:56:56.360
he was telling me it was my fault and he

963
00:56:56.679 --> 00:56:58.599
called me guy, which, like, I don't know why that

964
00:56:58.719 --> 00:57:01.719
triggered me, but and so I made it very clear,

965
00:57:02.280 --> 00:57:04.320
not by getting in his face or a physical conversation,

966
00:57:04.480 --> 00:57:08.039
but by having a deeper voice, a louder tone, and

967
00:57:08.360 --> 00:57:12.400
overpoweling his words with mine that I wasn't to be

968
00:57:12.480 --> 00:57:16.840
messed with and the moment the interaction was over. Before

969
00:57:16.880 --> 00:57:19.440
I got to the end of the block, I was apologizing,

970
00:57:20.320 --> 00:57:23.360
just being like I shouldn't have done that, Like that's

971
00:57:23.440 --> 00:57:25.159
not the love I could have shown him, no matter

972
00:57:25.199 --> 00:57:28.320
how he came out outside of that car. I could

973
00:57:28.360 --> 00:57:30.840
have been more gentle, I could have been more understanding.

974
00:57:31.320 --> 00:57:34.000
I didn't have to react that way. So what is

975
00:57:34.039 --> 00:57:37.360
it going on inside me where I need to love

976
00:57:37.639 --> 00:57:39.960
a little bit more of myself to make sure that

977
00:57:40.039 --> 00:57:43.239
doesn't happen so much? Love always is always thinking about

978
00:57:43.280 --> 00:57:48.320
love in every situation. Whether it's good, bad, ugly, pretty, hard, easy,

979
00:57:48.519 --> 00:57:50.519
doesn't matter. You can choose love.

980
00:57:51.920 --> 00:57:55.559
Much love always to you, coach, Doc, I really appreciate

981
00:57:55.599 --> 00:57:57.840
you and your time today, and I don't want to

982
00:57:57.840 --> 00:58:00.559
cut us off without asking if there's something else that

983
00:58:00.599 --> 00:58:03.039
you want to share or talk more about, and then

984
00:58:03.079 --> 00:58:03.719
I will wrap.

985
00:58:05.800 --> 00:58:08.800
No, I'll do one of the shame with self plugs.

986
00:58:09.559 --> 00:58:12.599
I will be picking back up my podcast, Doc Salley

987
00:58:12.679 --> 00:58:16.599
Dos at some point. I am finishing up on a

988
00:58:16.679 --> 00:58:20.119
four book series that it will be released that also

989
00:58:20.239 --> 00:58:22.920
has embedded with it. The podcast I did with my

990
00:58:23.000 --> 00:58:25.079
dad called Like Son, Like Father, where you get to

991
00:58:25.119 --> 00:58:28.519
hear his entire life story and mine a conversation, an

992
00:58:28.519 --> 00:58:31.880
honest conversation between a father and son. I bring my mom,

993
00:58:32.039 --> 00:58:36.599
my sister, my brother's in all and yeah, I'm going

994
00:58:36.679 --> 00:58:39.000
to continue to you know, if you want to check

995
00:58:39.000 --> 00:58:43.400
out anything I'm doing, Doc Harrison dot com is where

996
00:58:43.440 --> 00:58:47.239
you can find it. And one coach doc oh ay,

997
00:58:47.679 --> 00:58:49.840
coach doc on any of this social stuff is where

998
00:58:49.840 --> 00:58:52.719
you can find your doctor Harrison Antonio Harrison on LinkedIn It.

999
00:58:54.880 --> 00:58:56.920
I got some work to do and I'm putting out

1000
00:58:56.960 --> 00:58:58.719
some things, and so come check it out.

1001
00:58:58.960 --> 00:59:01.719
Well, I'm excited and I think that I was going

1002
00:59:01.800 --> 00:59:03.519
to wrap, but I need to talk to you more

1003
00:59:03.559 --> 00:59:05.880
about your book a little bit, because we did. We

1004
00:59:05.920 --> 00:59:08.599
did kind of tease that conversation in our first chat,

1005
00:59:08.639 --> 00:59:12.039
and I we got two sentences deep, and I want

1006
00:59:12.079 --> 00:59:15.079
to go a little deeper. So you talked about the structure,

1007
00:59:15.119 --> 00:59:18.880
but revisit it for folks that maybe didn't get that episode,

1008
00:59:19.280 --> 00:59:21.760
and then talk through what your goals are and what

1009
00:59:21.800 --> 00:59:23.039
your hopes are for that book.

1010
00:59:23.719 --> 00:59:26.159
Well, working title right now is Finding God. I mean

1011
00:59:26.320 --> 00:59:31.280
four books are pregame in first quarter, second quarter and halftime,

1012
00:59:32.000 --> 00:59:35.440
third quarter, maybe third and fourth quarter, and then fourth

1013
00:59:35.519 --> 00:59:38.519
quarter in overtime. Yeah, I'm a coach. I broke it

1014
00:59:38.599 --> 00:59:40.800
up in coach language soon the quarters of the year.

1015
00:59:40.840 --> 00:59:43.519
But it's my journey through twenty twenty five and making

1016
00:59:43.559 --> 00:59:47.719
a deliberate, conscious effort to seek out a relationship with God.

1017
00:59:47.760 --> 00:59:51.119
And it's not it's not filled with Bible verses, it's

1018
00:59:51.159 --> 00:59:54.239
not filled with religion. It is filled with real honest

1019
00:59:54.400 --> 00:59:58.199
reflections about things that I went through in that year,

1020
00:59:58.320 --> 01:00:01.719
my ups and downs, the moments where I was writing

1021
01:00:01.760 --> 01:00:06.960
really high and then I crashed really really hard, and

1022
01:00:07.079 --> 01:00:08.960
just kind of how that all unfolded to bring me

1023
01:00:09.039 --> 01:00:13.360
to twenty twenty six, just a new chapter in my journey.

1024
01:00:14.280 --> 01:00:17.679
So that is the working title My middle Centers. The

1025
01:00:17.719 --> 01:00:21.039
artist is working on the cover of the books, and yeah,

1026
01:00:22.440 --> 01:00:27.800
and really hoping that these books will connect with someone

1027
01:00:28.519 --> 01:00:32.440
who's seeking a relationship with God in whatever form that

1028
01:00:32.559 --> 01:00:35.880
is for you, and who's struggling with things and needs

1029
01:00:36.119 --> 01:00:41.519
to find a way out, knowing that they don't have

1030
01:00:41.559 --> 01:00:44.079
to do about themself. They don't.

1031
01:00:45.119 --> 01:00:47.920
I hope, I hope and pray that you will come

1032
01:00:47.960 --> 01:00:50.199
back on to share more about the book when it

1033
01:00:50.199 --> 01:00:53.239
comes to launch time. More about the books, I should

1034
01:00:53.280 --> 01:00:56.639
say there's multiple. I would be honored as I have

1035
01:00:56.719 --> 01:00:59.480
been honored to host you twice in a very short

1036
01:00:59.480 --> 01:01:02.159
period of time, and I don't take that likely. That

1037
01:01:02.280 --> 01:01:04.559
is a joy, that is a privilege, and I am

1038
01:01:04.599 --> 01:01:07.519
so grateful for you, sir. And that is all for

1039
01:01:07.639 --> 01:01:10.400
us today. So please, when when when things get hard,

1040
01:01:10.840 --> 01:01:13.920
when things when you're feeling like you're spiraling, when you're

1041
01:01:13.920 --> 01:01:16.760
feeling that that that loss that Doc was talking about,

1042
01:01:17.559 --> 01:01:22.000
come back so quick before you forget. Thank you for

1043
01:01:22.039 --> 01:01:25.000
being here with me today on Quick. Before you forget,

1044
01:01:25.360 --> 01:01:28.239
please like, share and subscribe as that helps the show

1045
01:01:28.440 --> 01:01:31.400
so much and I really appreciate it and I'll see

1046
01:01:31.400 --> 01:01:34.960
you next time on Quick before you forget.