March 30, 2026

How to Stop Feeling Not Enough: Grief, Purpose, and Finding Yourself Again

How to Stop Feeling Not Enough: Grief, Purpose, and Finding Yourself Again

You don’t feel lost because you’re broken. You feel lost because you’ve stopped looking up. In this episode of Quick Before You Forget, host Ty Schmidt sits down at Lazy Pickle Studios in LA with actor, storyteller, and abundant and inspiring human...

You don’t feel lost because you’re broken. You feel lost because you’ve stopped looking up.

In this episode of Quick Before You Forget, host Ty Schmidt sits down at Lazy Pickle Studios in LA with actor, storyteller, and abundant and inspiring human Bourke Floyd.

This conversation goes deep into:

  • Feeling lost and not enough
  • How grief and joy can coexist
  • Why “process over outcome” changes everything
  • Finding your purpose when nothing makes sense
  • The truth about self-worth and imposter syndrome
  • How to be present in your own life
From growing up in foster care to navigating loss, identity, and unexpected breakthroughs, Bourke shares the moments that shaped him and the mindset shifts that helped him rebuild.

If you’ve been doing everything “right” but still feel off this is for you. Quick before you forget:

You are not behind.
You are not broken.
You are becoming.

Meaningful Moments:

00:00 – Faith, loss, and finding meaning again
02:00 – Childhood, foster care, and the movie theater that changed everything
07:00 – Feeling seen: the moment that reshaped his life
09:30 – Finding “your people” and recognizing calling
11:30 – Noise vs signal: how to actually find your path
13:30 – “Adjust your antenna” (life-changing mindset)
15:30 – Putting your oxygen mask on first
17:30 – Grief, loss, and what it means to feel nothing
20:00 – The truth about self-blame and inner narratives
22:00 – The moment that saved his life
24:00 – Why you might be “drowning” without realizing it
26:00 – Parenting, patience, and learning from your kids
29:00 – Rejection is protection (life-changing reframe)
33:00 – Process over outcome (how to actually move forward)
36:00 – How to deal with self-doubt and rejection
40:00 – “Grief is the negative space that allows joy to shine”
42:00 – Why you already are enough
46:00 – The power of everyday human connection
48:00 – Faith, “GUS” (God/Universe/Spirit), and staying open
52:00 – Recognizing signs when you’re present
56:00 – Lessons from working with Anthony Hopkins & Robert Duvall
1:01:00 – Stop proving others wrong—prove yourself right
1:03:00 – Comparison, creativity, and staying in your lane
1:05:00 – The danger of chasing attention vs creating honestly
1:07:00 – “You versus you” and why comparison kills creativity
1:09:00 – What it means to create from truth instead of validation
1:11:00 – The difference between being “nice” and being truly kind (deeper layer)
1:13:00 – Truth, love, and the courage to say hard things
1:15:00 – Why most people avoid honesty (and what it costs them)
1:17:00 – Living in alignment vs performing for others
1:19:00 – Letting go of needing approval
1:21:00 – What it actually looks like to be authentic in real life
1:23:00 – The role of discipline in becoming who you are
1:25:00 – How to recognize when you’re out of alignment
1:27:00 – The internal vs external version of success
1:29:00 – Final reflections on presence, purpose, and people
1:31:00 – “Quick Before You Forget” closing question + takeaway

Bourke Floyd's Mix Tape
Mr. Blue Sky, Electric Light Orchestra https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQUlA8Hcv4s
Dark Blue, Jack's Mannequin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5LjFkibA7w&list=RDP5LjFkibA7w&start_radio=1
Mixed Tape, Jack's Mannequin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdW48xSbb9s
Mae, All Deliberate Speed https://open.spotify.com/track/6d303F6IYNa7bcE6DMo3Ls
Counting Crows, August And Everything After https://open.spotify.com/album/4nKfZbCALT9H9LfedtDwnZ
Counting Crows, Recovering the Satellites https://open.spotify.com/album/4YArB2Q848BDmmwUUumEFP

Special thank you to Lazy Pickle Studios and Bourke Floyd for making the episode a reality.
WEBVTT

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What role has faith played in your Forest Gump journey?

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Oh man, I mean every every roller coaster ride of it,

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because I've explored my faith in deep, you know, in depth,

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because I've lost my faith many times and once in particular,

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and I was angry at God and all of that.

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And the thing is, again, it's like seeing the sunrise

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and keeping your chin up right. But if you're looking

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for it, you will see these things that are right there,

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that are there for you, but you have to be

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open to receiving them.

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Welcome to quick before you forget Today's My guest is

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the best friend I've never met in person until today,

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and I can't wait for us all to learn from him.

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Burke Floyd is an actor whose career spans Broadway, television,

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and film. But more than that, he's someone who shows

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up in every role he lives in, whether it's always

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always with generosity, abundance, presence, and heart. From Dawson's Creek

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to Sun Dance premieres and everything in between, his path

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has been shaped more by the people he's loved than

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the roles he's played. Today, we finally get to sit

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across from each other and talk through the moments that

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make life worth living, the ones we want to remember

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quick before we forget. Burke Floyd, Welcome to my show.

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Oh my gosh, I cannot tell you how excited I

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am to be here. I'm not kidding. She is the

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best friend I've ever met. And then I picked her

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up in an alley way today and she's dressed so nicely,

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And now I think about it and play that back

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in Hollywood. That's weird, but it's also magic.

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It is magic, and I'm so grateful. So the most

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important tool we have, in my opinion, is our story,

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and I would love for you to walk me through

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yours today. So past, present, future, starting back with a

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childhood memory that shaped who you are?

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Wow, Okay, childhood memory that shaped who I am today?

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Really impacted who I am today? Is a pretty easy one,

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to be honest with you. I didn't I thought that

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would be harder, but it really is an easy one.

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I grew up at the Boys Home in Virginia and

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foster care in a group home, and so I would

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and I was on like state lunch when I would

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go to school, right, So it's not like ad lunch

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money or whatever, but I would take the bottles back.

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I grew up in Virginia, So I take the bottles

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back for the for the deposit, the return deposit and

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everything and glass bottles and get that. And I would,

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you know, help somebody rake their yard. Anytime I had money,

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I would get you know, even I've just put it

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into this little bank that I kept. And then I

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would go to the movies on the weekend. So I

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always made sure that I had three dollars and fifty

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cents to get a movie ticket, and then I would

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sneak in to movie after movie after movie and spend

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the whole day at the theater. And I always did

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feel badly about it, truly, but I just, you know,

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it's just what I was doing. And then about a

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month of doing that, somebody had given me ten dollars.

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I don't know how I had this ten dollars, but

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I had ten bucks. So I bought two movie tickets.

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I bought my first movie, which was Goonies, and then

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I bought the movie that I was going to go see,

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you know, looking at the thing, I figured out the

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movie I could see after that, and that was pretty

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quick after it, and so I bought that. I had

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three bucks left, so I bought a soda and I

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went and I watched Goonies and I went to get

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a refill of the soda and they didn't do refills,

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and I was like, that's okay, may I have water?

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And they filled it up with water and I went

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back and as I was walking back to get my

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ticket stub again, the manager came around the corner and

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told the teenager who was working collecting tickets that they

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would take care of it. Oh, I got this one,

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and I thought I was busted for sure, and I

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gave I was so happy. I was like, oh, I

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was so relieved because I had a ticket for this

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next movie. Truth be told, I was going to go

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sneak into Goonies, but I had the ticket. I was

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going to see it twice. I loved Goonies, so I

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give it. I'm so proud. I give him my ticket

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and he's like, come with me, kid, and I was like,

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oh my gosh. And he took me around the corner

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and I thought for sure I was going to get arrested.

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And I was terrified because you know the boys home.

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You know, the option after a group home like that

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is often juvenile attention and sort of things like that.

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So I was terrified and he just said he asked

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me my name, how old I was, and you know

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where my parents. Basically, he was like, so you're always

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I've seen you. I know that you've been going to

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see all these movies, you know, And I explained, I

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told him the truth. I was probably crying, I think,

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and just embarrassed and like scared, and he said he said, right, okay,

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so you love me. He sounds a lot like me.

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You love movies like I love movies. That's why I

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work here. And I was like, oh, man, I wish

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I could work. That would be so cool to run

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a movie here. He goes, one movie you're gonna go

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see and I was like, uh, it's for whatever it was.

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And I was like, but I think I'm just going

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to go see Goonies again. If that's okay. I was

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going to go see Goonies again. And I started to

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realize I wasn't in trouble, but I didn't know exactly

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what was happening. And he gave me a card that

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he had that would get me into any regal cinema

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anytime I wanted to see any movie I wanted anywhere

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in the country, as if I was ever going to

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leave Richmond at that point, but you know, and it

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came with soda and a bucket of popcorn for any

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just as many as I wanted. And he gave me

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that card, and then he said, all right, let's go

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see Goonies. And he got a soda and he got

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mine refilled, and we went into the next showing Goonies,

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and I just I had loved movies up until that

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point because they were an escape for me. I loved

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Goonies in particular because while I was escaping outside of it,

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they were also it was like it spoke to me.

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It was like a movie for me, and I could relate,

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and it was like the first one that I remember

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really relating to and being like, oh man, I wouldn't

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want to lose the guon Dox either, you know. And

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then this manager at Regal, John just extended this incredible

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like hug of welcoming and accepting and acknowledging seeing me,

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you know, and knowing what it was and relating to

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that and being like, let me fix this thing for you.

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And so you know, I mean, I really worried about

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getting three dollars and fifty cents and I thought about

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when I got that ten bucks, I had thought about, well,

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that'll get me. That's three weekends. I'll just need another

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fifty cents. But then I was like, no, I should

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buy for the other movie too, because I didn't want

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to sneak in. If I had the money, I didn't

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want to sneak in. And like, he changed everything, and

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that's why I've always loved movies and TV, and now

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I get to make them, which is the craziest thing

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I've ever heard.

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Well, he was a transition figure for you. He made

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you feel seen, and he offered you an olive branch

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that was such something so special to you for your escape.

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I mean, you're going to the movies became you said,

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an escape. And you walk me through more of your

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story with the foster care system and how you obviously

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you know that from there to today is a big leap.

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How did you stay grounded when you were not at

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the movies and you were, you know, in that system.

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Yeah, I mean listen, like, yeah, the movies were a

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holiday from real right, oh for me see you drop

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and mister egg no, but but yeah, so look, the

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foster care system first and foremost there have been so

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many changes for the better in that system across the country.

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It was not ideal, but it the alternative. It certainly

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was an absolute benefit to the alternative. And I experienced

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individuals that were there to collect a paycheck, and I

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experienced individuals that were there because it was their calling.

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And that is the way it goes in every single

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thing you see in your life, you know, and the

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thing is, find the people no matter where you are,

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do your best to empathize with the people that are

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just there to collect a paycheck, right because that's not easy.

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We've all had jobs, bus stop jobs, as I try

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to call them, you know, where you just have to

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make ends meet. And we've all had those experiences in

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our lives and you're unhappy, and you still go because

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you have to make ends meet. And so I try

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to extend empathy to those people and retroactively forgiveness to

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the people that you know that shewed me away whenever

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I had a question in my experience. But I also

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know I learned from that so much about looking for

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the people to whom anything is a calling. You can

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go to a Starbucks and find somebody who is who

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you is just palpably generating joy about being there and

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they are in it, there about it, and like I

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want that, I want that Americano from that person, you

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know what I mean? And so like it's you know,

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find those moments when they happen and be grateful for them.

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And I wouldn't be who I am or where I

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am today without all of those people with whom I experienced,

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who modeled to me how I wanted to be and

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maybe how I didn't want to be. And so I'm

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grateful to all of them.

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Well, gratitude is super important to me, as I think,

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you know, but I want to know more how you

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find that calling? Like how do you how do you

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get from the confusion and like sort through the noise

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and feel that the calling is yours?

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So that is That's the trickiest thing I think for

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anybody in any anything they're doing in their lives, anything

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you show up to being able to figure out where

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you fit into it is. And there are people that

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seem to just walk into any room completely comfortable in

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their own skin, not to say that they don't have

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other things going on, not to say that they don't

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have challenges and pain and grief and regret, you know,

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at all as human beings, we all we all have that.

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That's part of the human condition. But those people that

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walked into a room and like own it right out

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of the gate, they always I'm always impressed by that,

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especially when they do it in a way that's with

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no pompous attitude or anything. They're just they're just comfortable

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to be there. That is the coolest thing. That's that's

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the definition of cool. Like just somebody who's like, what's good, Like, oh, yep,

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I'm here, what's up? Hey, who are you? And then

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they engage other people, but to find your calling. You know,

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I've forced got my way through life. I've fallen into

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every great opportunity I've ever had. I've fallen into it.

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And I just I think for me, as you had said,

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the noise versus signal, Right, so static and signal a

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lot of it has to do it because the noise

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and the static and signal we like to think of

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or I like to think of as an antenna, right,

211
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and it's being transmitted and I've got to go and

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find it. Right. But the trick is that it's not

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that that's true. That part's true. The energy is coming

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your way, and you've got to pick the energy you

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want right and clear the noise. But that starts with

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having your antenna and not blocked in a corner of

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your house if you're trying to get the that starts

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with wrapping the tinfoil on the antenna back in the day. Oh, kids,

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you're gonna have to google that. You don't have to

220
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google what that what I'm talking about, but that Grandpa's

221
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just talking about the old days. Kids, No, but you

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need your You have to take care of your antenna

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in order to pick up the signal. In order to

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be able to differentiate between what is signal and what

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is noise, you had to adjust that antenna. So, like

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adjust your intenna, that starts with you putting out the

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signal you want to receive back, clearing the clutter from

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around you and around your heart and around who you are,

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taking self inventory and owning what you find there and

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holding yourself accountable for it. The same boiling water that

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softens a potato hardens an egg. So it's not your circumstance,

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it's how you react to it that matters. And so

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it's okay. Your initial reaction as a human being may

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not be the one you choose, you would choose, may

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not be the one that you would prefer. But that's

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where you know, do you remember they always used to say,

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like count to ten. Oh, if you're gonna pop off,

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count to ten. But what they left out is why

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you're counting to ten. It's not just counting to ten.

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It's like, think about what's happening, count to ten and breathe,

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and then start swimming again, you know. And that's the

242
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thing about it is that you have to easter egg.

243
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That's the thing about it is you have to You

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have to start with you in an airplane. If there's

245
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heaven forbid, if the masks drop, you have to put

246
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yours on first, right, Yeah, you have to start with

247
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you and owning it. And then you know, take the

248
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baggage that is just filled with junk and do away

249
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with that if you can, and this process, do away

250
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with that, and then with the baggage that you've that

251
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are that's left that may have grief and regret and

252
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some pain in it, still right because those are a

253
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part of who make us who we are. Right, That's

254
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not just junk, that's not just like why am I still?

255
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Why is that person living rent free in my head, right,

256
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not that that person that was mean to you or

257
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cut you off in traffic. Right, Like you know that stuff,

258
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do away with it, the stuff that that shaped who

259
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you are lost and wins all of that and then

260
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just find people whose luggage matches yours, you know what

261
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I mean? And and like you know, and also don't

262
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forget to like set it down every once in a

263
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while and be like cool, I can I'm home. I

264
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don't have to carry these with me where I'm going.

265
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I can leave these here. And there are people that

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walk into a room. It's not like it's not like

267
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Matthew McConaughey doesn't have baggage, right, It's not like Andrew

268
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McMahon doesn't have baggage right right. But I gotta tell you,

269
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every time he walks into a room, both of those

270
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dudes set it down in the corner, are like, what's good,

271
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and I'm home and put their feet you know what

272
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I mean? Like that is the definition of cool, because

273
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it's not because it's authentic. They're not pretending to be comfortable.

274
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They genuinely make them. They've found a way a method

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for them that works to set their baggage down and

276
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be present without it in the room that they're and

277
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then when something comes up, so you go rummage through it,

278
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you know what I mean, be like, I know what

279
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that is. Yeah, check this out. Let's talk about you

280
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know what I mean. And that's how you become present

281
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and accessible. And it's a it's a it takes practice.

282
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I think, it takes discipline, and it takes constant repetition

283
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of it.

284
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You referenced joy and gratitude and both of those things

285
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coexisting is a fascination of mine because they can and

286
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they often do. And it's interesting to me, how you

287
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know you like you said, like everybody has that.

288
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Everybody has the baggage. You know, it makes me.

289
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Picture There's there's this meme on the internet always that

290
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has like the people in traffic and you see like

291
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above it it's like Grandpa died, you know, mom is

292
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sick and just all these different things you just never know,

293
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which is why I choose to show up with passion

294
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and give people the benefit of the doubt always. Oh,

295
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sometimes to a fault perhaps, but generally speaking it's real

296
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because everybody does have that baggage. But the most interesting

297
00:17:11.279 --> 00:17:14.359
one to me mostly because of what I've walked through

298
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is the whole grief and enjoy coexisting part of it.

299
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You have been through some things, obviously, you know, the

300
00:17:21.640 --> 00:17:24.920
childhood helped make you who you are. Pain, You've turned

301
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some pain into purpose there. I'm curious how you. I know,

302
00:17:31.480 --> 00:17:34.880
you took a break for a while during some personal struggle,

303
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and I don't you don't have to go into details

304
00:17:36.799 --> 00:17:39.200
if you're not comfortable, but can you walk me through

305
00:17:39.680 --> 00:17:42.480
how you found your way back to grief and enjoy

306
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coexisting while you were on that break and it came

307
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back from that?

308
00:17:47.599 --> 00:17:54.880
Yeah? Yeah, So you know, I had a personal loss

309
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that was really, really difficult, and I didn't I didn't

310
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seem meaning in anything anymore.

311
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And I hate to interrupt you, but isn't that real?

312
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Like, isn't that that's the thing When you have something

313
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so hard happen, it can take away your ability to

314
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even see yourself.

315
00:18:17.960 --> 00:18:20.039
Yeah, I didn't even seem Yeah, I mean it was

316
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it wasn't It was not numb like sometimes they'll show

317
00:18:25.480 --> 00:18:27.559
it in movies and it'll you know, where the person

318
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is numbed and they're you know, they show the loose

319
00:18:29.599 --> 00:18:32.319
pov and all of the blurry pov. It's not numb,

320
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it's just drowning in grief and uh yeah, so it's

321
00:18:40.599 --> 00:18:49.680
it's odd because when you are drowning, when you were

322
00:18:49.720 --> 00:18:55.480
taking on water, you know, lifeguards have a thing actually

323
00:18:55.480 --> 00:18:58.559
with the new Baywatch they're making and their rebooting Baywatch.

324
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My my my friend David Chokichi is coming back to

325
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play as character on it, and it's going to be great.

326
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I'm excited for that. But like in Baywatch, they would

327
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have these things and if you were ever like I

328
00:19:10.039 --> 00:19:12.440
was a lifeguard at the pool when I was growing up.

329
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I had like sixteen jobs when I was in high school.

330
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But someone who is drowning you on Baywatch, they would

331
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show it. They would use the can, the rescue can

332
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to shove them away, you know, and sometimes even have

333
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to like really defend themselves because a drowning person instinctively

334
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will grab you and push you under and all of that, right,

335
00:19:35.960 --> 00:19:42.319
and so it's the same thing when you're drowning in grief, anger, rage, self, pity,

336
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all of those things. When you're drowning, people can throw

337
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you a life raft and they can give you the can,

338
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but they also when they recognize it, maybe need to

339
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keep that arm's length because you can take them down

340
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with you. And then that becomes cyclical because your your mind,

341
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your brain is the only thing that can lie to

342
00:20:07.680 --> 00:20:12.680
you consistently, and you will buy it every time. You know,

343
00:20:12.759 --> 00:20:16.640
the competent speaker can convince most of anything and themselves

344
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of everything. And that's it. Like you can convince yourself

345
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of anything you want to believe. And so you know,

346
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like cancer, taking a child is your fault, or a divorce,

347
00:20:36.880 --> 00:20:43.079
let's say, is your fault and only yours. And conversely,

348
00:20:43.160 --> 00:20:45.759
you can convince yourself that it's someone else's because it

349
00:20:45.799 --> 00:20:48.200
feels so much better to be able to point at

350
00:20:49.000 --> 00:20:52.079
and to say. Because in our own stories, we are

351
00:20:52.079 --> 00:20:55.799
typically in our own stories of ourselves, we are typically

352
00:20:56.000 --> 00:20:59.359
the hero or the victim. We in our own stories

353
00:20:59.359 --> 00:21:03.079
about ourselves rarely allow ourselves to honestly play any part

354
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of the villain. And we are all guilty of being

355
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villains at certain points in our lives in certain ways,

356
00:21:11.000 --> 00:21:13.680
maybe not outright, but you know, you have to own that.

357
00:21:13.799 --> 00:21:23.480
And so coming back from that was I just my kids,

358
00:21:23.960 --> 00:21:32.119
you know, my daughter Carson saved my life, and I

359
00:21:33.119 --> 00:21:38.400
just didn't know. I didn't think that I was worthy

360
00:21:38.440 --> 00:21:42.680
of being her dad after what had everything that had happened,

361
00:21:44.079 --> 00:21:47.039
and I was scared to be her dad. I was scared.

362
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I was terrified of it.

363
00:21:52.759 --> 00:21:53.599
Why were you scared?

364
00:21:54.720 --> 00:22:02.240
Because I had blamed myself for my other child having passed,

365
00:22:02.240 --> 00:22:07.359
and so I I it was a challenge that I

366
00:22:07.400 --> 00:22:11.680
couldn't get over, and I was scared to be a

367
00:22:11.720 --> 00:22:14.359
father to her. I was scared that I would do

368
00:22:14.400 --> 00:22:16.799
it wrong that I just thought, you know, I just

369
00:22:16.960 --> 00:22:20.680
blamed myself for everything and a lot of that self

370
00:22:20.720 --> 00:22:23.039
pity too, though, you know, like you know, again it's

371
00:22:23.039 --> 00:22:27.519
a cyclical thing. And so yeah, she saved my life.

372
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I mean, she just did. And and I just I

373
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didn't see it coming. And like I wish that I

374
00:22:35.039 --> 00:22:38.759
could give some you know, epiphany moment where the light

375
00:22:38.799 --> 00:22:41.960
bulb clicked on or something like that, because it's it

376
00:22:42.000 --> 00:22:45.519
makes for a nicer story. But it was just this

377
00:22:45.640 --> 00:22:47.799
sort of it was like more of a sun rise.

378
00:22:47.960 --> 00:22:50.279
And I think the thing was the sun had been

379
00:22:50.400 --> 00:22:56.480
rising every day through that twelve years of me and

380
00:22:56.519 --> 00:22:58.599
I was productive in what I was doing during that

381
00:22:58.640 --> 00:23:01.000
twelve years. I was working in and a human trafficking

382
00:23:01.039 --> 00:23:04.799
and k and R kidnapping, ransom, I was doing things

383
00:23:04.799 --> 00:23:08.359
that were very productive and helping other people a lot,

384
00:23:09.000 --> 00:23:11.359
and putting myself in harm's way, which I think correlates

385
00:23:11.400 --> 00:23:14.119
to what I envisioned my self worth to be at

386
00:23:14.119 --> 00:23:18.759
the time. But the sun was rising all of those days.

387
00:23:18.799 --> 00:23:21.440
The thing is, if you're too busy looking down, you're

388
00:23:21.480 --> 00:23:24.400
never going to see it. And that's where I was.

389
00:23:24.440 --> 00:23:27.920
And she just helped me get my chin up and

390
00:23:27.920 --> 00:23:30.759
and now you know, the sun rises and sets with

391
00:23:30.799 --> 00:23:33.799
her every day. For me, that's that's you know, so

392
00:23:35.079 --> 00:23:37.119
and that's it's a gift. But but it is a

393
00:23:37.240 --> 00:23:41.319
it's a weird self exploratory thing after the fact, where

394
00:23:41.319 --> 00:23:44.119
you go, wow, that was a what was that? What

395
00:23:45.319 --> 00:23:48.079
was that? But when you're drowning, you don't know where

396
00:23:48.079 --> 00:23:49.640
the bottom is. I mean, have you ever seen somebody

397
00:23:49.759 --> 00:23:53.160
drown or like not drowned, but like have struggle in

398
00:23:53.200 --> 00:23:55.920
the six foot of the pool and they're five to

399
00:23:56.079 --> 00:24:01.599
nine right and you're like, bro, bounce, b just bounces

400
00:24:01.839 --> 00:24:06.079
its beats right there. But the panic sets in. It's

401
00:24:06.119 --> 00:24:08.720
a role in the water. Number one rule of being

402
00:24:08.759 --> 00:24:11.200
in the water is never panic. That's the number one

403
00:24:11.240 --> 00:24:14.279
rule of being in the water because panic is the

404
00:24:14.759 --> 00:24:18.279
death of you in the water, and like when you're drowning.

405
00:24:19.440 --> 00:24:24.599
It's it's so it's so easy naturally organically, it's so

406
00:24:24.680 --> 00:24:27.359
easy to panic when you think you're drowning, when you

407
00:24:27.400 --> 00:24:29.720
convince yourself you're drowning, you know what I mean. And

408
00:24:29.759 --> 00:24:33.440
so it's hard to it's hard to pinpoint this one thing,

409
00:24:33.680 --> 00:24:36.279
but I can absolutely hang it solidly on Carson.

410
00:24:36.359 --> 00:24:40.200
We are grateful for Carson. Thank you Carson for doing

411
00:24:40.279 --> 00:24:43.960
amazing work for your dad. And I wonder how being

412
00:24:44.000 --> 00:24:46.279
a dad, because you're such a you're such a good dad.

413
00:24:46.720 --> 00:24:50.640
It's it's it's really cool to watch your being a

414
00:24:50.759 --> 00:24:53.119
parent is something that really like lights you up.

415
00:24:53.000 --> 00:24:54.880
From the inside. You can see it.

416
00:24:54.960 --> 00:24:57.839
And I want to know how being a dad has

417
00:24:58.000 --> 00:25:00.480
changed you as a human, Like how is it your

418
00:25:00.519 --> 00:25:02.960
worldviews and your values and all the things.

419
00:25:03.160 --> 00:25:07.759
Yeah, you know what, I'm so much more patient. I

420
00:25:07.839 --> 00:25:11.279
was not patient. You know. I wanted I wanted my things.

421
00:25:11.319 --> 00:25:14.279
I wanted this to happen right now. I wanted that

422
00:25:14.359 --> 00:25:16.599
to happen. And I wanted to be able to get

423
00:25:16.640 --> 00:25:18.480
this thing done. And I wanted to do that, and

424
00:25:18.519 --> 00:25:20.759
I wanted to, you know, do everything. You know, all

425
00:25:20.799 --> 00:25:25.039
of those things and like I learned from my kids

426
00:25:25.920 --> 00:25:30.559
to be patient, to like, to to focus on the

427
00:25:30.640 --> 00:25:36.359
process over the outcome, and to not be immediately reactive.

428
00:25:37.720 --> 00:25:40.079
And I think I learned being and I mean I

429
00:25:40.119 --> 00:25:43.599
played team sports for a very long time, and even

430
00:25:44.160 --> 00:25:47.079
and making a movie is a team That is a

431
00:25:47.119 --> 00:25:51.119
team sport making a movie and a miracle to get

432
00:25:51.119 --> 00:25:54.319
one done, by the way, But it's so collaborative, and

433
00:25:55.119 --> 00:25:59.440
being a parent is so collaborative and it's not about you.

434
00:26:00.079 --> 00:26:02.359
So I think at the end of the day, patience

435
00:26:02.480 --> 00:26:07.039
is the trait that I learned from being a parent,

436
00:26:08.400 --> 00:26:14.279
and the fact that nothing is about you, Nothing is

437
00:26:14.319 --> 00:26:18.240
about you, it's not And like once you realize that

438
00:26:19.200 --> 00:26:21.039
it's easier to put your luggage down when you walk

439
00:26:21.079 --> 00:26:24.359
into a room, to realize that it's not about you.

440
00:26:24.599 --> 00:26:27.599
Yeah, Mike drop moment. I feel that way about my kids.

441
00:26:27.640 --> 00:26:31.599
They are I say that they are my heart walking

442
00:26:31.640 --> 00:26:34.039
around on four legs. And I mean that your kids

443
00:26:34.039 --> 00:26:37.839
have four legs, yes, because they're my heart walking around.

444
00:26:38.160 --> 00:26:39.799
Oh there are two kids.

445
00:26:39.440 --> 00:26:44.960
Right, two kids four legs, two kids four legs. I mean,

446
00:26:45.000 --> 00:26:49.559
if they did have four legs, we would love them regardless.

447
00:26:50.039 --> 00:26:52.519
In a carnival or something right right, sure, yeah, but

448
00:26:52.559 --> 00:26:53.279
I love them.

449
00:26:53.359 --> 00:26:56.279
But they have saved my life and they have done

450
00:26:56.839 --> 00:26:59.880
they have taught me more about me at the age

451
00:26:59.920 --> 00:27:04.039
of ten and twelve than I ever thought possible. Tell

452
00:27:04.039 --> 00:27:05.960
me an example of that for you and Carson.

453
00:27:06.279 --> 00:27:10.279
Oh man, Oh no, I mean like she when okay,

454
00:27:10.640 --> 00:27:14.519
I'll give you a blanket one that just go when

455
00:27:14.640 --> 00:27:18.920
she when she sparks up on something and I'm like,

456
00:27:20.079 --> 00:27:23.359
oh my gosh, that's me. That's what I that's me.

457
00:27:23.799 --> 00:27:26.000
Like more like she'll do something, I'd be like, what

458
00:27:26.000 --> 00:27:28.440
do you doing? Let's really Oh no, wait, that's exactly

459
00:27:28.519 --> 00:27:31.000
what I do. I do I do that, I do

460
00:27:31.160 --> 00:27:34.279
exactly that. Yeah, why do why spark up like that?

461
00:27:35.200 --> 00:27:37.759
I mean like, yeah, it's I learned from her. I

462
00:27:37.759 --> 00:27:39.839
mean I learned from her all the time. Like we

463
00:27:40.319 --> 00:27:42.279
She just came to set with me the other day

464
00:27:42.319 --> 00:27:45.480
and we took some pictures with the cast and she

465
00:27:45.640 --> 00:27:49.839
said that we were that we were mogging her. Yeah.

466
00:27:49.880 --> 00:27:53.400
I don't know, because she had just come from the

467
00:27:53.480 --> 00:27:55.440
gym and she was like, you guys were mogging me

468
00:27:55.480 --> 00:27:57.039
in these photos. You know. I wish I'd done my

469
00:27:57.079 --> 00:27:59.240
makeup and taken a shower and cleaned up before I came.

470
00:27:59.279 --> 00:28:01.000
You guys are mogging me, and I'm like, well, you know,

471
00:28:01.039 --> 00:28:06.279
I'm known to mog. So she definitely has helped teach

472
00:28:06.359 --> 00:28:09.599
me vernacular that I that I was unaware of, and

473
00:28:09.640 --> 00:28:13.519
she's patient with me on it, which is fun. But

474
00:28:13.519 --> 00:28:16.599
but she's also when she gets sparked up on something

475
00:28:17.880 --> 00:28:21.440
like and I'm like, wow, that's what I do, that's

476
00:28:21.480 --> 00:28:24.519
I still do that sometimes. Oh man, hey sweetheart, let's

477
00:28:24.519 --> 00:28:26.279
talk about it for a second, and like it helps

478
00:28:26.319 --> 00:28:29.240
me again. Kind of part of teaching you the patients

479
00:28:29.319 --> 00:28:35.640
is also modeling for you the impatient because they've seen it.

480
00:28:35.920 --> 00:28:38.240
Because it took you a minute to learn it, so

481
00:28:38.279 --> 00:28:41.319
they've seen it and now they're they're they're modeling it

482
00:28:41.359 --> 00:28:43.279
back to you. They don't know they're modeling it back

483
00:28:43.279 --> 00:28:45.519
to you. But like when you when you're like, oh

484
00:28:45.559 --> 00:28:48.039
that's me, Yeah, that's my bad. No, No, we don't

485
00:28:48.039 --> 00:28:49.880
have to worry about that. You don't know that car

486
00:28:49.960 --> 00:28:52.319
going slowly in front of you probably has a birthday

487
00:28:52.359 --> 00:28:54.160
cake or they just have their brand new baby in

488
00:28:54.160 --> 00:28:56.400
the back. We don't need to we don't need to

489
00:28:56.400 --> 00:28:58.680
worry about how slow they're going. We just will follow

490
00:28:58.759 --> 00:29:00.880
until they leave, you know what I mean. It's that

491
00:29:01.000 --> 00:29:01.480
kind of thing.

492
00:29:01.599 --> 00:29:06.240
So you said you forrest gumped your way through life.

493
00:29:05.480 --> 00:29:06.440
And that sounds to me.

494
00:29:06.720 --> 00:29:08.440
It sounds familiar to me because I feel a little

495
00:29:08.440 --> 00:29:09.960
bit that way about my yellow brick world that I'm

496
00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:13.960
always talking about. But I'm wondering, as that's happened and

497
00:29:14.039 --> 00:29:16.599
all these different things have happened and the people have

498
00:29:16.640 --> 00:29:20.480
come into your life, what is something that you saw

499
00:29:20.559 --> 00:29:23.880
later that made more sense later, Like when you had

500
00:29:23.920 --> 00:29:26.440
a plan and it didn't go as planned, but it

501
00:29:26.559 --> 00:29:28.640
ended up being way better than you could have planned.

502
00:29:28.680 --> 00:29:31.359
Something that happened for you rather than to you.

503
00:29:31.599 --> 00:29:34.920
Yeah, that's a great question. That's a great question.

504
00:29:35.000 --> 00:29:35.319
Thank you.

505
00:29:36.240 --> 00:29:39.720
Well. I will say that rejection is God's protection and

506
00:29:39.920 --> 00:29:46.839
amen that as an actor, we experience rejection regularly, and

507
00:29:47.119 --> 00:29:51.960
often we experience rejection as ghosting because when you don't

508
00:29:52.000 --> 00:29:55.519
book a role, nine times out of ten, they're not

509
00:29:55.519 --> 00:29:57.079
going to let you know you didn't book the role.

510
00:29:57.440 --> 00:30:00.880
You just never hear anything. Okay, Well I thought that

511
00:30:00.880 --> 00:30:05.480
first day went pretty well, but okay, okay, at Carson

512
00:30:05.640 --> 00:30:07.640
love you to drop a little Cardi B in there.

513
00:30:08.759 --> 00:30:17.200
So I think I think it's tricky for me to, well, no,

514
00:30:17.319 --> 00:30:20.839
I've got I've got one. I've got one. I was

515
00:30:21.839 --> 00:30:25.039
working out of college at my degree in applied mathematics,

516
00:30:25.039 --> 00:30:27.720
and I was recruited out of college and was working

517
00:30:27.799 --> 00:30:31.480
for the government, and I was in New York. And

518
00:30:31.559 --> 00:30:33.119
that's what I was going to do. I was going

519
00:30:33.160 --> 00:30:34.799
to work for the government doing this thing that I

520
00:30:34.839 --> 00:30:37.720
was doing which ties into the K and R and

521
00:30:37.799 --> 00:30:41.799
anti human trafficking and as a as an operator, as

522
00:30:41.839 --> 00:30:45.000
a tactical operator. And I was living in New York.

523
00:30:45.039 --> 00:30:47.200
And that's just that's who I am. That's what I

524
00:30:47.240 --> 00:30:48.960
do for a living, and that's cool, and this will

525
00:30:49.000 --> 00:30:53.200
be what I do. And unlike in the movies, most

526
00:30:53.240 --> 00:30:57.240
of that is very boring. It's until it's not. It's

527
00:30:57.240 --> 00:30:59.519
like wearing your seatbelt, like you don't even think about

528
00:30:59.559 --> 00:31:01.519
it until you're glad you wore it, right, So a

529
00:31:01.599 --> 00:31:03.799
lot of it it's not at all like it is

530
00:31:03.839 --> 00:31:09.279
in the movies. And this woman comes out of a

531
00:31:09.319 --> 00:31:13.839
coffee shop and asks me, stops me, are you a model?

532
00:31:15.240 --> 00:31:18.880
And you know, I said something along the lines of, look,

533
00:31:18.920 --> 00:31:21.480
you know, I might have moved here yesterday, but I

534
00:31:21.480 --> 00:31:25.960
didn't you know, I wasn't born yesterday. You know, but

535
00:31:26.559 --> 00:31:29.599
it was she was with Ford Models. It was Katie

536
00:31:29.640 --> 00:31:32.000
Ford and she yeah, and she had just had a

537
00:31:32.039 --> 00:31:35.440
meeting with Abercrombie and Bruce Weber. This is in the

538
00:31:35.519 --> 00:31:40.680
late nineties. This is in the late nineteen hundreds. That

539
00:31:40.799 --> 00:31:45.799
hurts just saying it, and it's true. But she had

540
00:31:45.880 --> 00:31:50.279
just had this meeting and they wanted all American, very

541
00:31:50.400 --> 00:31:56.720
athletic jockey kind of guys, and she had just walked

542
00:31:56.720 --> 00:31:59.680
out of this meeting basically, and there was you know,

543
00:32:00.200 --> 00:32:04.160
walked down the street, and she thought, and so that

544
00:32:04.640 --> 00:32:10.079
saying yes to that and going into this meeting and

545
00:32:10.119 --> 00:32:13.960
having them take polaroids not knowing what it was and

546
00:32:14.000 --> 00:32:16.079
having no frame of reference for what it would do,

547
00:32:18.720 --> 00:32:21.559
changed my And then seeing what it ended up happening

548
00:32:21.640 --> 00:32:24.799
from it, you know, like billboards and Times Square and

549
00:32:24.880 --> 00:32:27.119
like on the sides of buses and stuff. You know,

550
00:32:27.200 --> 00:32:34.079
it's that's wild. That's wild. That one time doing it

551
00:32:34.119 --> 00:32:37.559
and seeing how it paid off made it so much

552
00:32:37.599 --> 00:32:41.559
easier to keep doing this and even be like, yeah, okay,

553
00:32:41.839 --> 00:32:46.839
I'll try that, which sort of started my the forest

554
00:32:46.920 --> 00:32:50.799
Gump thing. And it was completely a curveball and completely

555
00:32:50.839 --> 00:32:53.920
unexpected and changed the course of my life. And I

556
00:32:53.960 --> 00:32:59.119
think the actors that make it out here or anywhere

557
00:32:59.400 --> 00:33:02.480
are the one that maybe don't get the yes on

558
00:33:02.519 --> 00:33:06.440
the first one and still continue or the tenth or

559
00:33:06.480 --> 00:33:10.079
the hundredth, and they still continue and even when they

560
00:33:10.079 --> 00:33:14.759
get and those human beings, whether they're actors or not,

561
00:33:16.440 --> 00:33:21.039
who celebrate the small wins along the way, will will

562
00:33:21.319 --> 00:33:24.759
generate more wins as they come. You know, you can't

563
00:33:24.799 --> 00:33:28.160
get on a win streak without the first one. And

564
00:33:28.240 --> 00:33:34.480
so you know, even if that win isn't the war,

565
00:33:35.240 --> 00:33:37.279
you know, even if it's a win in a battle,

566
00:33:37.960 --> 00:33:40.720
take the win in the battle, because that's the only

567
00:33:40.759 --> 00:33:42.680
way you can ever get on a winning streak is

568
00:33:42.720 --> 00:33:44.119
to recognize the first one.

569
00:33:46.039 --> 00:33:50.039
It's really smart and it's an interesting You have to

570
00:33:50.200 --> 00:33:52.920
take the time to be present, honestly, is what it

571
00:33:52.960 --> 00:33:55.920
shows is you have to instead of like worrying so

572
00:33:56.000 --> 00:33:58.519
much about what's coming or what happened, you are just

573
00:33:59.039 --> 00:34:01.960
in the moment being present and being grateful, dang grateful

574
00:34:02.000 --> 00:34:02.440
for it.

575
00:34:02.440 --> 00:34:06.039
It's process over outcome. These are the goals I want.

576
00:34:06.119 --> 00:34:09.800
This is what I want eventually. Okay, well, right, but

577
00:34:09.920 --> 00:34:12.159
like that's a roadmap. You're right, You've got to that's

578
00:34:12.159 --> 00:34:14.639
where you want to go. And now you're looking at

579
00:34:14.639 --> 00:34:17.039
this map and there are all these different routes that

580
00:34:17.119 --> 00:34:19.800
you could use to get there. What's the Which way

581
00:34:19.800 --> 00:34:22.280
are you going to turn out of your driveway? Just

582
00:34:22.320 --> 00:34:24.960
start with that. Yeah, just which way are you going

583
00:34:25.000 --> 00:34:25.920
to turn out of your driveway?

584
00:34:26.000 --> 00:34:28.559
The one next thing, like literally the one next thing.

585
00:34:28.599 --> 00:34:33.000
Focus on that and stay present for that and find

586
00:34:33.079 --> 00:34:33.880
wins in that.

587
00:34:34.960 --> 00:34:40.679
So what does the present Burke understand that past Burke didn't.

588
00:34:42.159 --> 00:34:44.639
Oh wow, I don't know.

589
00:34:45.679 --> 00:34:46.440
We got tied.

590
00:34:46.559 --> 00:34:49.119
Well, I mean, lazy pickle better be super latey because

591
00:34:49.119 --> 00:34:53.880
this is going to be a millie. There's so much, obviously,

592
00:34:53.960 --> 00:34:55.679
And I think anybody could say that if they're if

593
00:34:55.719 --> 00:35:04.719
they're honest, I think I think appreciating I mean what

594
00:35:04.840 --> 00:35:08.760
I just said, knowing process over outcome is something that

595
00:35:09.840 --> 00:35:17.280
I definitely did not ever even consider. I never even

596
00:35:17.559 --> 00:35:20.440
and that that is like a part of my day

597
00:35:20.480 --> 00:35:25.239
to day, moment to moment life now and I didn't

598
00:35:25.320 --> 00:35:29.599
even I wasn't even aware of process. It's like when

599
00:35:29.639 --> 00:35:32.800
they say with kids, you know, oh kids, you know,

600
00:35:34.079 --> 00:35:38.599
they think they're invincible. Remember you guys just think you're invincible.

601
00:35:38.880 --> 00:35:41.599
And as an adult. Now I'm like, yeah, no, we

602
00:35:41.719 --> 00:35:47.800
just don't think we got you got backwards. You think

603
00:35:47.840 --> 00:35:51.599
we're thinking we're invincible. We just don't think we we

604
00:35:51.599 --> 00:35:57.639
We just immediate. We just go and uh and like that.

605
00:35:58.000 --> 00:36:03.639
I think the what I've learned is focusing on the process,

606
00:36:03.719 --> 00:36:05.800
on what's right in front of you and trying to

607
00:36:05.840 --> 00:36:13.800
stay present and appreciative is the only way that I

608
00:36:14.119 --> 00:36:17.199
that you can get where you're trying to go eventually,

609
00:36:17.360 --> 00:36:20.199
you know what I mean, and be happy once you're there,

610
00:36:20.360 --> 00:36:23.960
because it is the journey. You're there is there is.

611
00:36:23.960 --> 00:36:27.639
There is here is here. Literally you are here right,

612
00:36:28.000 --> 00:36:28.360
get it?

613
00:36:29.280 --> 00:36:32.639
Carson is the answer. But I'm going to challenge you

614
00:36:32.719 --> 00:36:36.119
to think about a different person who believed in you

615
00:36:36.159 --> 00:36:37.320
when you doubted yourself.

616
00:36:39.280 --> 00:36:41.760
Oh, I mean I spent my whole life doubting myself.

617
00:36:43.239 --> 00:36:44.519
So how do you fix that? Though?

618
00:36:44.559 --> 00:36:48.280
Like, because you're dealing with rejection, your your your you know,

619
00:36:48.360 --> 00:36:52.800
process over outcomes, but how you also still are very real,

620
00:36:52.920 --> 00:36:55.519
You're still human. You still doubt yourself, So like how

621
00:36:55.519 --> 00:36:58.760
do you I mean that's a separate question, I guess,

622
00:36:58.760 --> 00:37:01.119
But if you can think of a person, great, But

623
00:37:01.280 --> 00:37:03.920
how do you work through that? Doubt and how do

624
00:37:04.000 --> 00:37:05.599
you like push through that rejection.

625
00:37:06.960 --> 00:37:12.360
Well, so I think there are there are people that

626
00:37:12.440 --> 00:37:19.719
will actively support you right and try to give you things.

627
00:37:20.280 --> 00:37:25.880
Being proactive trying to support you right could be parents,

628
00:37:25.920 --> 00:37:29.920
could be your partner, could be right, and that is amazing.

629
00:37:30.920 --> 00:37:33.480
Those are gifts and a lot of people have them

630
00:37:33.519 --> 00:37:37.960
and some don't. But but I think it's it's more.

631
00:37:38.320 --> 00:37:43.199
It's the it's the so like being nice, being nice

632
00:37:43.599 --> 00:37:48.679
is is great. Being nice is great to being nice

633
00:37:48.719 --> 00:37:55.320
to someone, But being kind is hard. Yeah, being kind

634
00:37:55.480 --> 00:38:01.440
is a discipline. Being kind is saying is saying truth

635
00:38:02.079 --> 00:38:05.840
a hard truth with love. Being kind is tough love.

636
00:38:05.920 --> 00:38:13.480
Being kind is doing that thing that costs you, that

637
00:38:13.599 --> 00:38:18.480
makes you feel awkward. That's being kind. And I think

638
00:38:20.039 --> 00:38:27.599
proactively loving you is so kind because it comes unconditionally,

639
00:38:27.840 --> 00:38:32.639
It comes with a cost. And sometimes we get wrapped

640
00:38:32.719 --> 00:38:37.599
up in the people that are nice, and that's we

641
00:38:38.119 --> 00:38:42.719
fall under the illusion of that we believe. Listen, I am.

642
00:38:43.119 --> 00:38:47.760
The fact that anybody would call themselves a fan of

643
00:38:47.880 --> 00:38:51.760
mind blows my mind. It blows my mind. And I'm

644
00:38:51.880 --> 00:38:55.119
so appreciative of any of that support that I get

645
00:38:56.400 --> 00:39:00.599
and so confused by it. But I'm soppreciative of it.

646
00:39:00.639 --> 00:39:04.079
I'm so grateful for it. But the thing that I

647
00:39:04.239 --> 00:39:07.719
had to realize and remember is they're a fan of

648
00:39:07.800 --> 00:39:14.280
my work. You're a fan of my work. You don't

649
00:39:14.320 --> 00:39:20.639
know me, so it's important not to If you believe

650
00:39:20.679 --> 00:39:22.960
your good reviews, you have to believe your bad reviews.

651
00:39:23.440 --> 00:39:26.199
It's that kind of thing. It's separating what is finding

652
00:39:26.239 --> 00:39:29.360
the people, being appreciative of the people that are nice,

653
00:39:30.159 --> 00:39:34.559
but knowing that that's being nice. Finding seeking out the

654
00:39:34.559 --> 00:39:37.400
people that are going to be kind, that are going

655
00:39:37.440 --> 00:39:40.719
to throw away your favorite red shirt because you don't

656
00:39:40.760 --> 00:39:44.719
look good in it. Find those people because that's kind,

657
00:39:44.960 --> 00:39:47.719
because you know that I'm going to realize that my

658
00:39:47.800 --> 00:39:50.599
red shirt is gone because it's my favorite, and you

659
00:39:50.679 --> 00:39:52.199
know that we're going to have to have a conversation

660
00:39:52.320 --> 00:39:54.880
about it, and eventually you're going to have to tell

661
00:39:54.920 --> 00:39:56.800
me that I never looked good in it in the

662
00:39:56.800 --> 00:39:57.280
first place.

663
00:39:57.440 --> 00:39:58.760
Red is not your color and red.

664
00:39:58.599 --> 00:40:02.519
Is not my color. Kind, right, that was being kind.

665
00:40:03.039 --> 00:40:05.159
Find those people that will tell you the truth.

666
00:40:06.599 --> 00:40:09.159
With love in their heart, with love in their heart.

667
00:40:09.320 --> 00:40:13.039
And and Brene Brown would say clear is kind also,

668
00:40:13.079 --> 00:40:17.920
which is another interesting segue into the question I wanted

669
00:40:17.920 --> 00:40:21.440
to really ask you about grief aside from the grief

670
00:40:21.519 --> 00:40:27.199
and joy coexisting, is what did grief make clearer for you?

671
00:40:33.800 --> 00:40:34.760
We have Kleenex?

672
00:40:35.079 --> 00:40:43.079
Yeah, I know that's right. Grief is the negative space

673
00:40:44.280 --> 00:40:47.159
that allows joy to shine.

674
00:40:48.599 --> 00:40:52.159
Grief is the negative space that allows joy to shine.

675
00:40:52.920 --> 00:40:54.159
I'm going to need the kleenex.

676
00:40:56.800 --> 00:41:02.400
You have to, Yeah, you have to find it, but yeah,

677
00:41:02.480 --> 00:41:03.480
I will just leave it at that.

678
00:41:03.559 --> 00:41:05.800
Probably, okay, thank you?

679
00:41:06.119 --> 00:41:13.000
Yeah, quick, before you forget? What do people underestimate about themselves?

680
00:41:13.639 --> 00:41:17.840
Oh? Man, you know, I think I think if I

681
00:41:18.320 --> 00:41:22.039
wanted it as a blanket statement for almost all people.

682
00:41:22.960 --> 00:41:25.199
We talk about it in the industry and the acting

683
00:41:25.199 --> 00:41:28.159
and entertainment industry quite a bit. Is that imposter syndrome?

684
00:41:29.599 --> 00:41:33.760
I think people will very often, I know I'm guilty

685
00:41:33.760 --> 00:41:42.039
of it, underestimate not just their worth, but simply that

686
00:41:42.239 --> 00:41:48.639
them they themselves are enough. And it's and the want

687
00:41:48.800 --> 00:41:55.079
to I want to book a series regular. I'm just

688
00:41:55.119 --> 00:41:56.840
to put it in black and white terms so there's

689
00:41:56.840 --> 00:41:59.400
no indictment of somebody that's got something right or I

690
00:41:59.440 --> 00:42:05.239
want to make I want to be the manager of

691
00:42:05.440 --> 00:42:09.960
this coffee shop. I want to be the manager that's

692
00:42:10.000 --> 00:42:11.519
what I want to do. I want to open my

693
00:42:11.599 --> 00:42:14.719
own coffee shop. And I don't want to tell anybody

694
00:42:14.719 --> 00:42:16.599
that I work at a coffee shop until I own

695
00:42:16.679 --> 00:42:19.239
my own. I mean, how many times you know, I

696
00:42:19.280 --> 00:42:23.199
don't want to tell anybody that I'm doing this indie

697
00:42:23.239 --> 00:42:25.440
film that is probably not very good. I mean, it

698
00:42:25.480 --> 00:42:27.800
doesn't feel good, the script's not great. I'm not really

699
00:42:27.800 --> 00:42:30.960
happy with the script if it's disjointed, and you know,

700
00:42:31.000 --> 00:42:34.199
I'm not getting paid very well, and like if the

701
00:42:34.360 --> 00:42:37.599
crafty's not right, like the budget's low and nobody's going

702
00:42:37.679 --> 00:42:39.360
to see it, or it's just going to this and

703
00:42:39.400 --> 00:42:41.119
it's not going to be on Netflix. I want to

704
00:42:41.119 --> 00:42:42.960
be on one on Netflix. I'm not going to tell

705
00:42:43.000 --> 00:42:45.559
anybody about the ones I do until they're on Netflix.

706
00:42:46.639 --> 00:42:53.960
Like that is a large scale of feeling like you

707
00:42:54.039 --> 00:42:57.599
are not enough, Like what you're doing today is not enough.

708
00:42:57.679 --> 00:43:00.719
That is focusing again on outcome instead of process. And

709
00:43:00.760 --> 00:43:03.960
if you focus on the process and the very step

710
00:43:04.000 --> 00:43:08.599
in front of you, then you you are enough for

711
00:43:08.679 --> 00:43:10.880
that step in front of you, because he won't bring

712
00:43:10.920 --> 00:43:12.400
you to it if you can't bring you through it.

713
00:43:13.199 --> 00:43:18.000
So you again, it's when when we look with this

714
00:43:18.159 --> 00:43:21.719
macro lens. Of course you're not enough. If you look

715
00:43:21.760 --> 00:43:28.159
at the ever expanding universe, you are not enough. How

716
00:43:28.199 --> 00:43:32.000
could you be? The universe not only is it infinitely large,

717
00:43:32.639 --> 00:43:34.760
it's expanding, it's still growing.

718
00:43:35.199 --> 00:43:39.719
But if God loves you, should you not then love yourself?

719
00:43:39.920 --> 00:43:43.159
Correct? That's the why are we looking at the universe?

720
00:43:43.199 --> 00:43:44.320
Why are you looking at that?

721
00:43:44.639 --> 00:43:44.760
Right?

722
00:43:44.880 --> 00:43:50.760
That's that's the wide lens. I mean, I think personalizing

723
00:43:50.800 --> 00:43:55.320
it to your everyday interaction work, Put a smile on

724
00:43:55.400 --> 00:43:59.920
somebody's face, work, do it? Like? Do it? I dare

725
00:43:59.920 --> 00:44:02.599
you to put put a smile on somebody's face today.

726
00:44:03.320 --> 00:44:05.719
Go out and put somebody you don't know, a stranger,

727
00:44:05.960 --> 00:44:09.000
put a smile on their face, and do it as

728
00:44:09.039 --> 00:44:10.480
many times as you have to do it until you

729
00:44:10.519 --> 00:44:12.840
get somebody to smile back at you and your home,

730
00:44:13.480 --> 00:44:14.960
and then look at you and then tell me that

731
00:44:15.039 --> 00:44:15.800
you're not enough.

732
00:44:17.840 --> 00:44:21.719
That's powerful, It's true though. Yeah, genuinely, that's how I

733
00:44:21.760 --> 00:44:24.880
exist in this world. Perhaps to a fault, I tend to.

734
00:44:26.199 --> 00:44:28.559
There was this lady, a dollar tree, who came up

735
00:44:28.599 --> 00:44:30.440
to me. I was like looking, I was there just

736
00:44:30.440 --> 00:44:34.840
looking at like the shiny Christmas like subglasses Oh yeah,

737
00:44:34.960 --> 00:44:37.639
brain deer glasses with Christmas trees on them, and like.

738
00:44:37.599 --> 00:44:38.440
The light bulb nexlice.

739
00:44:38.480 --> 00:44:40.559
I love dollar tree, by the way, same I love

740
00:44:40.599 --> 00:44:41.119
getting right.

741
00:44:41.079 --> 00:44:44.719
Except it's the dollar fifty tree. Now, like what what

742
00:44:44.760 --> 00:44:45.239
in the world?

743
00:44:45.280 --> 00:44:45.800
Anyway?

744
00:44:46.119 --> 00:44:48.400
So I'm standing there looking at this stuff and this

745
00:44:48.480 --> 00:44:50.920
lady comes up to me, and this is this is

746
00:44:51.679 --> 00:44:55.159
something that you talk about, the forest gump situation and

747
00:44:55.480 --> 00:44:58.039
just kind of being aware, like the art of noticing

748
00:44:58.079 --> 00:45:01.159
these situations when they're happening as they're happening is something

749
00:45:01.199 --> 00:45:03.639
that I've you know, as a forty year old woman.

750
00:45:03.679 --> 00:45:06.360
Now I have embraced it, and I'm just like letting

751
00:45:06.360 --> 00:45:08.760
it happen because it's fascinating to me. So this lady

752
00:45:08.800 --> 00:45:12.199
comes up to me and she goes, I need to

753
00:45:12.239 --> 00:45:15.559
ask you a question. I was like, Okay, this is ominous,

754
00:45:15.559 --> 00:45:17.320
but all right, and I'm just standing there looking at

755
00:45:17.320 --> 00:45:19.000
the light bulb that necklaces, like I don't know what

756
00:45:19.039 --> 00:45:21.239
I did to attract this situation. But she walks up

757
00:45:21.280 --> 00:45:22.920
to me, I need to ask you a question. She says,

758
00:45:24.519 --> 00:45:25.559
how old do I look?

759
00:45:27.440 --> 00:45:29.559
Is she? Does she have glasses on also?

760
00:45:30.199 --> 00:45:30.960
And she's she's old?

761
00:45:30.960 --> 00:45:32.679
I mean, does she have the reindeer glasses.

762
00:45:32.719 --> 00:45:35.360
No, no, I mean she's just she's just browsing.

763
00:45:35.639 --> 00:45:37.800
Do not in this thing that I just picked up

764
00:45:37.840 --> 00:45:39.280
off the shelf? How old do I look? In this?

765
00:45:39.519 --> 00:45:40.079
Just in general?

766
00:45:40.159 --> 00:45:41.639
He's just asking, generally.

767
00:45:41.320 --> 00:45:43.920
In life, how old do I look, which is like

768
00:45:44.000 --> 00:45:46.320
not a question that you ask a stranger who's looking

769
00:45:46.360 --> 00:45:47.119
at light up necklace.

770
00:45:47.119 --> 00:45:49.079
I would find a trapdoor in that dollar tree and

771
00:45:49.199 --> 00:45:50.119
throw myself through it.

772
00:45:50.280 --> 00:45:54.679
That's I wanted to do that, Yeah, would be Instead.

773
00:45:54.559 --> 00:45:56.079
I said, why do you want to know?

774
00:45:56.599 --> 00:45:58.519
Oh see, that's a good return.

775
00:45:58.440 --> 00:46:00.639
Thank you. And she said, well, I don't know. I

776
00:46:00.760 --> 00:46:02.840
just think I just want to know. And I said,

777
00:46:02.840 --> 00:46:05.719
you look twenty two. Now, she did not look twenty two.

778
00:46:05.800 --> 00:46:08.480
She looked older than twenty two. But in my head,

779
00:46:08.880 --> 00:46:11.239
I have coached myself to believing that you can be

780
00:46:11.320 --> 00:46:14.840
whatever age you think you want to be by doing

781
00:46:14.880 --> 00:46:17.800
this work. So I said, I you know, you look

782
00:46:17.840 --> 00:46:22.000
twenty two. She goes bullshit like loud. Everybody in the

783
00:46:22.039 --> 00:46:23.960
Dollar Trick could hear. And I said, no, no, okay, I know,

784
00:46:24.000 --> 00:46:27.280
I know you're I know. I'll write fine, I'll say

785
00:46:27.360 --> 00:46:33.400
sixty five. She melted, She's like, oh my gosh, thank

786
00:46:33.440 --> 00:46:37.239
you so much, because she's she was actually seventy five.

787
00:46:37.320 --> 00:46:39.960
Now I would have probably pushed her to maybe seventy

788
00:46:39.960 --> 00:46:43.320
five eighty. But we ended up having the most lovely

789
00:46:43.400 --> 00:46:47.199
conversation about self love and aging gracefully in an era

790
00:46:47.320 --> 00:46:50.920
of everything plastic. And it was just this beautiful reminder

791
00:46:51.000 --> 00:46:53.159
to speak to exactly what you were saying, which is that,

792
00:46:53.280 --> 00:46:57.119
like you know, we have we have this ability to

793
00:46:57.159 --> 00:47:01.920
be present and you know, encounter people every single day,

794
00:47:01.960 --> 00:47:03.840
and so many of us are like on our phones

795
00:47:03.920 --> 00:47:05.960
or whatever, and we have the gift of connection to

796
00:47:06.000 --> 00:47:08.519
so many people that we don't even like that are

797
00:47:08.559 --> 00:47:11.480
just in our everyday life, like this woman, and it.

798
00:47:11.480 --> 00:47:13.519
Happens to me. Happens to me a lot.

799
00:47:14.480 --> 00:47:17.760
And we said something about God and faith, and I

800
00:47:17.840 --> 00:47:20.559
wanted to talk to you about that too, because I

801
00:47:20.599 --> 00:47:25.199
want to know, like, what role has faith played in

802
00:47:25.239 --> 00:47:26.719
your Forest Gump journey?

803
00:47:27.119 --> 00:47:31.079
Oh man, I mean every every roller coaster ride of it,

804
00:47:31.159 --> 00:47:34.719
because I've explored my faith and deep, you know, in depth,

805
00:47:36.119 --> 00:47:41.159
because I've lost my faith many times, and once in particular,

806
00:47:41.199 --> 00:47:43.880
and it was angry at God and all of that.

807
00:47:44.000 --> 00:47:47.400
And the thing is, again, it's like seeing the sunrise

808
00:47:47.440 --> 00:47:50.039
and keeping your chin up right. But if you're looking

809
00:47:50.159 --> 00:47:53.800
for it, you will see these things that are right there,

810
00:47:54.000 --> 00:47:55.480
that are there for you. But you have to be

811
00:47:55.519 --> 00:48:00.320
open to receiving them. That all, accepting Christ into your heart,

812
00:48:00.079 --> 00:48:05.119
Art or whoever, whoever put whatever name on it you want,

813
00:48:05.159 --> 00:48:06.480
whatever you were comfortable with.

814
00:48:07.920 --> 00:48:12.199
My friend, my friend Share has said gus So God, Universe,

815
00:48:13.239 --> 00:48:14.280
not that Share.

816
00:48:14.679 --> 00:48:18.079
I wish no, I'm talking about your friend Share. I know,

817
00:48:18.199 --> 00:48:19.079
my gosh, that's so cool.

818
00:48:19.119 --> 00:48:22.679
It's a cool name. I love names. But she, she's

819
00:48:22.800 --> 00:48:24.320
she's the one that phrased it gus.

820
00:48:24.360 --> 00:48:24.480
So.

821
00:48:24.880 --> 00:48:27.480
I want you to keep on that train. We can

822
00:48:27.519 --> 00:48:30.679
talk about gus So God, Universe spirit. So you know,

823
00:48:30.920 --> 00:48:32.960
it's so we just we hurt because she I am

824
00:48:33.639 --> 00:48:36.119
the faith based God person and she's the universe person,

825
00:48:36.159 --> 00:48:38.400
and we coexist and we both both.

826
00:48:38.199 --> 00:48:40.199
Believe, and we can both respect.

827
00:48:39.880 --> 00:48:42.559
Each other, respect each other, and we have all of

828
00:48:42.599 --> 00:48:43.760
the appreciation for Gus.

829
00:48:43.760 --> 00:48:44.079
That's it.

830
00:48:44.119 --> 00:48:46.559
So keep you continue, continue talking about Gus.

831
00:48:46.559 --> 00:48:46.880
I love that.

832
00:48:47.000 --> 00:48:47.199
Yeah.

833
00:48:47.320 --> 00:48:50.800
So when you allow Gus into your heart, that means

834
00:48:50.840 --> 00:48:54.119
that you opened the door for us, right, you open

835
00:48:54.239 --> 00:48:57.000
the door for it, And that's the you have to

836
00:48:57.039 --> 00:49:00.639
invite these things in and then they will start appearing

837
00:49:00.960 --> 00:49:04.960
before you so many times it'll blow your mind. I

838
00:49:05.039 --> 00:49:10.920
will say I was recently a very good friend from

839
00:49:11.039 --> 00:49:15.000
a very from over twenty some years, almost thirty years.

840
00:49:15.079 --> 00:49:20.920
Friend passed away after a battle with cancer, and he

841
00:49:21.039 --> 00:49:26.079
had made me we knew it was close, and I

842
00:49:26.079 --> 00:49:30.280
had gone to visit and I had this Disney trip

843
00:49:30.360 --> 00:49:33.320
for Sweetheart's Night at Disneyland planned with my daughter and

844
00:49:33.360 --> 00:49:36.679
her best friend. And I told him about that, you know,

845
00:49:36.840 --> 00:49:39.840
because all we do as old men, all we did

846
00:49:40.000 --> 00:49:43.360
was just talk about our kids, which so you know again,

847
00:49:43.440 --> 00:49:45.880
he lit up every single time too. So it was fun,

848
00:49:45.920 --> 00:49:47.840
it was great. It was healing for him in a way.

849
00:49:47.920 --> 00:49:51.079
And then so I was talking about the Sweethearts Night thing,

850
00:49:51.559 --> 00:49:55.400
and eventually I think because he knew where he was

851
00:49:55.440 --> 00:49:59.920
in his journey, he had said, listen, no matter what happens,

852
00:50:00.760 --> 00:50:03.400
no matter what happens, you have to promise that you

853
00:50:03.440 --> 00:50:06.480
go on that trip, because we have to show our kids.

854
00:50:06.880 --> 00:50:09.400
You will be the one to show her that a

855
00:50:09.480 --> 00:50:11.639
man shows up where he says he will show up,

856
00:50:12.719 --> 00:50:14.840
and you have to promise me. You have to promise

857
00:50:14.840 --> 00:50:18.760
you won't miss that trip, no matter what and you know,

858
00:50:18.800 --> 00:50:22.320
and I did, I promised. And so we're on this

859
00:50:22.440 --> 00:50:26.599
trip and they're getting ready to go, they're putting on

860
00:50:26.639 --> 00:50:30.320
their makeup and getting dressed for Disney. And as a

861
00:50:30.360 --> 00:50:34.360
girl dad, I'm already been ready for an extended period

862
00:50:34.360 --> 00:50:37.119
of time at this point, and I find out that

863
00:50:37.199 --> 00:50:40.159
my friend has passed. His wife lets me know that

864
00:50:40.199 --> 00:50:43.159
he has passed and let me know that it was peace,

865
00:50:43.480 --> 00:50:46.840
you know, And and I took him, you know, I

866
00:50:46.840 --> 00:50:49.480
took a couple of minutes. I excuse myself. Took a

867
00:50:49.480 --> 00:50:52.800
couple of minutes. And then and then we went to

868
00:50:52.840 --> 00:50:56.840
Disney and we're enjoying Disney. We're having a blast, you know,

869
00:50:57.079 --> 00:50:59.880
and it's I'm able to keep it at Bay shoving

870
00:50:59.920 --> 00:51:01.960
into the box as it were, and slammed the shut

871
00:51:02.199 --> 00:51:05.760
the thing shut, the luggage, the luggage. And at one point,

872
00:51:05.840 --> 00:51:10.599
we're getting off Indiana Jones, favorite ride. We're getting off

873
00:51:10.639 --> 00:51:14.880
Indiana Jones. And as we're walking off of Indiana Jones,

874
00:51:14.920 --> 00:51:18.519
there's another family that's coming on and it's this dad

875
00:51:18.559 --> 00:51:22.039
and he's wrangling. And my friend had six kids, and

876
00:51:22.079 --> 00:51:24.000
his dad's wrangling a bunch of kids. I don't think

877
00:51:24.039 --> 00:51:25.719
it was six, but it was. It was it was

878
00:51:25.760 --> 00:51:28.920
a bunch. He's, you know, spinning plates. He's getting cats

879
00:51:28.960 --> 00:51:31.559
to march in a parade. It's a straight line, the

880
00:51:31.599 --> 00:51:34.639
Indiana Jones thing. It's literally a tunnel. And he's like, no, no,

881
00:51:35.039 --> 00:51:36.719
gotta keep gotta keep going this.

882
00:51:36.679 --> 00:51:37.800
Way, hurting the cats.

883
00:51:37.880 --> 00:51:40.119
Yeah, and I uh, and I saw it and it

884
00:51:40.199 --> 00:51:43.679
was amazing, and yet it was it cracked the box.

885
00:51:43.719 --> 00:51:45.599
And then I realized that I'm here with my daughter

886
00:51:45.679 --> 00:51:48.519
and his kids won't have and all these things right,

887
00:51:48.559 --> 00:51:52.159
And so I start feeling that, and uh, I'm feeling

888
00:51:52.239 --> 00:51:54.519
coming on and I'm trying. I'm trying to do the

889
00:51:54.559 --> 00:51:58.159
things you do to using the tools that I've learned

890
00:51:58.280 --> 00:52:00.280
to to try to keep it at babe. But it

891
00:52:00.360 --> 00:52:03.599
is a wave. It's a tsunami. It's building to a tsunami.

892
00:52:04.440 --> 00:52:07.000
And I'm concerned that I'm going to need to excuse

893
00:52:07.039 --> 00:52:10.239
myself for you know, thirty minutes or something to get

894
00:52:10.280 --> 00:52:13.599
it together, you know, And what am I going to

895
00:52:13.639 --> 00:52:15.400
say to Carson? How am I gonna explain it? Then?

896
00:52:15.480 --> 00:52:17.199
I don't want a friend to think, like, Wow, your

897
00:52:17.239 --> 00:52:20.159
dad's really Indiana Jones really hits your dad in the fields,

898
00:52:20.199 --> 00:52:21.280
you know what I mean, like I don't want this

899
00:52:21.280 --> 00:52:24.679
would be weird, and like I don't want to steal

900
00:52:24.719 --> 00:52:27.960
their joy, you know, burden them with it. And these

901
00:52:28.000 --> 00:52:29.960
are all the things that I'm thinking, right, which again

902
00:52:30.039 --> 00:52:33.800
is also pointing it right at me instead of being like,

903
00:52:34.159 --> 00:52:39.719
you know what, like let's take our breaks. But I'm

904
00:52:39.760 --> 00:52:42.360
coming around the corner. We're out of Indiana Jones, We're

905
00:52:42.400 --> 00:52:47.559
turning a corner. I'm getting angry. I'm starting I'm like,

906
00:52:47.800 --> 00:52:51.039
it's converting. I'm going through the process. I'm compressing it right,

907
00:52:51.079 --> 00:52:53.639
I'm making it. I'm speating the whole thing up. I'm

908
00:52:53.679 --> 00:52:55.760
putting into a I'm putting my grief into a pressure

909
00:52:55.760 --> 00:52:58.360
cooker in this moment because I'm trying not to pop, right,

910
00:52:58.440 --> 00:53:00.280
and I'm trying to shove it in the bar since

911
00:53:00.320 --> 00:53:04.039
so it's like speeding through the stages of greed. Right,

912
00:53:04.400 --> 00:53:08.639
So I'm angry. I'm right about angry, at at gust,

913
00:53:08.800 --> 00:53:11.039
at everything, right, and like at that point, I'm like,

914
00:53:11.039 --> 00:53:13.639
oh my gosh, okay, keep going, keep going. And right

915
00:53:13.679 --> 00:53:15.920
as I'm at that point, I look up and there

916
00:53:16.079 --> 00:53:18.840
is one of my oldest friends with his family walking

917
00:53:18.880 --> 00:53:23.760
in the park, who this guy beat cancer.

918
00:53:25.239 --> 00:53:31.119
And I'm like, yo, really you have got jokes, Gus,

919
00:53:31.599 --> 00:53:36.320
well played, sir, ma'am your majesty, well played indeed.

920
00:53:36.559 --> 00:53:40.159
And you know that's the thing is if you have

921
00:53:40.280 --> 00:53:43.360
to you know, you have to be open to seeing

922
00:53:43.400 --> 00:53:46.159
it and it'll it'll be there for you if you're

923
00:53:46.280 --> 00:53:47.360
if you were open to it.

924
00:53:49.039 --> 00:53:53.239
The number of times that that has happened since I

925
00:53:53.480 --> 00:53:58.400
have consciously decided to be present and to I'll call

926
00:53:58.440 --> 00:54:01.440
it like it's gratitude, but it's also abundance, Like it's

927
00:54:01.519 --> 00:54:05.000
just believing and walking in a season of abundance and

928
00:54:05.039 --> 00:54:08.079
trusting that there are things like that that can and

929
00:54:08.119 --> 00:54:12.519
will happen. It's it's incredible to me. Like the but you,

930
00:54:12.599 --> 00:54:14.559
like you said a lot when you said, like you

931
00:54:14.679 --> 00:54:17.519
have to believe, like you have to know and have

932
00:54:17.559 --> 00:54:20.400
faith that those things will come. It's almost like it

933
00:54:20.440 --> 00:54:22.880
reminds me a little bit of when my friend just

934
00:54:22.880 --> 00:54:25.559
had to have a difficult conversation with her son and

935
00:54:25.639 --> 00:54:29.519
she told him something that was so thoughtful about you

936
00:54:29.519 --> 00:54:31.360
you tell your kid when you're about to have this

937
00:54:31.440 --> 00:54:33.800
kind of conversation, this is going to be five minutes

938
00:54:33.840 --> 00:54:37.360
of being really uncomfortable, and the way that that just

939
00:54:37.400 --> 00:54:40.119
like like light lit a bulb in my brain because

940
00:54:40.159 --> 00:54:43.239
it's like, you know what that's I would feel better

941
00:54:43.360 --> 00:54:46.679
if I knew it was only five minutes, right, set

942
00:54:46.679 --> 00:54:49.239
the right because nearly all, if not all, conflict in

943
00:54:49.280 --> 00:54:52.480
life comes from mismatched or unfulfilled expectations. So you set

944
00:54:52.519 --> 00:54:55.000
that expectation from the gate. It's going to be five

945
00:54:55.000 --> 00:54:57.679
minutes of awful, but we'll get through it and then

946
00:54:57.679 --> 00:54:58.159
we'll move on.

947
00:54:59.480 --> 00:55:01.639
And I'm so grateful.

948
00:55:01.360 --> 00:55:03.920
That you had that happen that day, like that is

949
00:55:04.800 --> 00:55:06.920
I thank you for sharing that story because I think

950
00:55:06.920 --> 00:55:10.280
it's so important for people to recognize. And I don't

951
00:55:10.280 --> 00:55:11.800
think that a lot of I think that the people

952
00:55:11.840 --> 00:55:14.800
that miss it don't miss it because of any other reason,

953
00:55:14.840 --> 00:55:18.199
but maybe they're just not conscious of it, like they're

954
00:55:18.440 --> 00:55:21.039
not paying attention, they're not well whatever it might be.

955
00:55:21.119 --> 00:55:24.880
But you need to have that ability to like be grounded.

956
00:55:25.320 --> 00:55:27.880
And it sounds like you were mad at God, but

957
00:55:27.960 --> 00:55:29.559
you're but you were still talking to.

958
00:55:29.599 --> 00:55:33.199
Him, that's right. I was keeping the lines of communication open.

959
00:55:33.039 --> 00:55:35.360
And he's like, I got your brother, Yeah, here's your

960
00:55:35.400 --> 00:55:38.639
pal boom, right. And I mean that same friend that

961
00:55:38.679 --> 00:55:42.039
had that difficult conversation that I referenced was having a

962
00:55:42.079 --> 00:55:44.320
really hard day at a at a football she went

963
00:55:44.360 --> 00:55:46.280
to her son's football game, and I showed up that

964
00:55:46.360 --> 00:55:48.559
night and she just cried, you know, And it's just

965
00:55:48.800 --> 00:55:52.679
it's I am so grateful for people and the role

966
00:55:52.840 --> 00:55:54.960
that people play in our story.

967
00:55:55.239 --> 00:55:56.000
It's it's just.

968
00:55:56.000 --> 00:55:58.760
Cool like like at it like a geeky level like

969
00:55:58.920 --> 00:56:02.480
I I. I love that story so much. Thank you

970
00:56:02.519 --> 00:56:06.159
for sharing. And it reminds me of the questions that

971
00:56:06.199 --> 00:56:08.119
I was going to ask you about some of the

972
00:56:08.440 --> 00:56:10.800
really cool people that you've had the opportunity to cross

973
00:56:10.800 --> 00:56:15.519
pass with. So obviously, you've been in a lot of movies,

974
00:56:15.679 --> 00:56:17.679
you've been in a lot of shows, You've had a

975
00:56:17.679 --> 00:56:20.559
lot of different roles, and you've played across this You've

976
00:56:20.559 --> 00:56:22.599
shared the screen with some pretty impressive people.

977
00:56:23.360 --> 00:56:25.679
And I know this is a hard question because of that, but.

978
00:56:25.639 --> 00:56:29.840
I'm curious what you're if there's any person or people

979
00:56:29.960 --> 00:56:33.239
that you could illustrate for me like that actually showed

980
00:56:33.320 --> 00:56:35.440
up for you in those moments when you shared the.

981
00:56:35.440 --> 00:56:36.519
Screen with them, Like what what?

982
00:56:36.719 --> 00:56:37.400
What? What?

983
00:56:37.159 --> 00:56:40.159
What lessons did you learn from all those different people

984
00:56:40.199 --> 00:56:41.800
that you have gotten to work with.

985
00:56:41.960 --> 00:56:45.159
Yeah, I could give a few, but let's see. So

986
00:56:45.280 --> 00:56:48.639
Anthony Hopkins. I did Hearts and Atlantis with Anthony Hopkins

987
00:56:48.679 --> 00:56:52.400
and at one point he had insisted on me calling

988
00:56:52.480 --> 00:56:55.960
him Tony at one point, and I was like, all right,

989
00:56:56.000 --> 00:56:58.480
that's going to take some work, but we'll try to

990
00:56:58.519 --> 00:57:03.800
get there. But but so Tony took me over at

991
00:57:03.800 --> 00:57:06.800
one point and said, uh, you know you're you're you're

992
00:57:06.880 --> 00:57:10.840
really you're really talented actor. It's like, oh, thank you.

993
00:57:10.920 --> 00:57:14.639
He goes wait, it's like, what's up, what's up? What?

994
00:57:17.039 --> 00:57:21.280
Once you really believe that and start doing less, everybody

995
00:57:21.280 --> 00:57:26.480
will see it like okay, And I mean that was

996
00:57:26.519 --> 00:57:29.639
a gut punch. But then I thought about it and

997
00:57:29.679 --> 00:57:33.719
he said it early. I mean, nothing's worse, nothing's worse

998
00:57:33.760 --> 00:57:38.360
than like the movies in the can. It's done. Somebody

999
00:57:38.719 --> 00:57:41.840
sees it and the first words out of their mouth

1000
00:57:41.880 --> 00:57:45.760
are like why did you talk with that accent? Or

1001
00:57:45.840 --> 00:57:47.760
like why did you wear the red shirt?

1002
00:57:48.199 --> 00:57:49.039
Turn that red shirt?

1003
00:57:49.159 --> 00:57:53.800
Right? Like, that's not kind because it's something that's done.

1004
00:57:54.079 --> 00:57:58.159
It cannot be corrected going forward in that manner when

1005
00:57:58.239 --> 00:58:02.280
you directly reference this finished product that is out in

1006
00:58:02.360 --> 00:58:05.800
the world. Right, But there's a way to be kind

1007
00:58:05.840 --> 00:58:07.880
about it. Later and be like, you know, I was

1008
00:58:07.960 --> 00:58:09.960
just thinking about that red shirt you were wearing in

1009
00:58:10.000 --> 00:58:12.039
that movie. I wouldn't wear red anymore. I don't know

1010
00:58:12.079 --> 00:58:15.760
that that's really your color. That not why are you

1011
00:58:15.800 --> 00:58:19.880
wearing that? Right? Not reactively. So Tony did it early

1012
00:58:20.119 --> 00:58:24.519
in the movie in our working together, and I was like, okay,

1013
00:58:25.159 --> 00:58:28.599
And it was still a gut punch, but it forced

1014
00:58:28.639 --> 00:58:30.920
me to think about it, and it forced me to

1015
00:58:32.760 --> 00:58:35.519
it didn't force me to. I chose to embrace it.

1016
00:58:35.320 --> 00:58:38.039
It helps that it was coming from Sir Anthony Hopkins.

1017
00:58:38.880 --> 00:58:42.039
But I embraced it. And I was thinking about what

1018
00:58:42.280 --> 00:58:46.639
was I and I realized that I wasn't I was masking.

1019
00:58:46.719 --> 00:58:51.840
I wasn't acting because I was so nervous that I

1020
00:58:51.920 --> 00:58:58.760
had shut down my creative, my heart, my spirit, my creative,

1021
00:58:58.840 --> 00:59:01.800
my talent if you will, if I have any I

1022
00:59:01.880 --> 00:59:05.719
was shutting all of that down and instead focusing on

1023
00:59:05.800 --> 00:59:06.960
what is this going to?

1024
00:59:07.440 --> 00:59:10.079
How will this appear? This needs to be very challenging.

1025
00:59:10.079 --> 00:59:12.920
I need to work very hard today. I'm working so hard.

1026
00:59:13.000 --> 00:59:18.199
You see how hard I am at acting? And yeah, yeah,

1027
00:59:18.280 --> 00:59:19.880
and he called me on it. I was like, oh man,

1028
00:59:19.920 --> 00:59:20.679
that's what I was doing.

1029
00:59:20.800 --> 00:59:24.880
Yeah, And The cool thing was that we hadn't even

1030
00:59:24.920 --> 00:59:27.800
gotten out of that scene and so we came back

1031
00:59:27.840 --> 00:59:30.440
in and you know, I was that part I was

1032
00:59:30.440 --> 00:59:32.840
forced to do. I was forced to take the note

1033
00:59:32.920 --> 00:59:36.280
from him quietly and away from anybody. Although just so

1034
00:59:36.360 --> 00:59:40.440
you know, if you're on set, everybody hears everything because

1035
00:59:40.480 --> 00:59:42.920
the sound guy's got his cans. And he one hundred

1036
00:59:42.920 --> 00:59:45.719
percent called me on it later once once, not the day.

1037
00:59:45.760 --> 00:59:47.880
He was very he was very sweet that he didn't

1038
00:59:47.920 --> 00:59:51.199
say anything that day. A few days later he commented

1039
00:59:51.199 --> 00:59:53.280
that he had heard it and was like, oh, and

1040
00:59:53.320 --> 00:59:55.920
that he didn't put it forward for dailies, so no

1041
00:59:55.920 --> 00:59:58.440
one else would hear it. He covered me, thank and yeah,

1042
00:59:58.519 --> 01:00:03.239
which is awesome. But yeah, that was super impactful in

1043
01:00:03.519 --> 01:00:13.039
just being dynamic. Being dynamic doesn't mean kinetic, because the

1044
01:00:13.159 --> 01:00:15.360
truth of the scene is what will make people lean in.

1045
01:00:16.239 --> 01:00:20.159
Sometimes that is big, sometimes it is kinetic, but the

1046
01:00:20.239 --> 01:00:23.679
truth is the truth, right, and so the truth will

1047
01:00:23.719 --> 01:00:25.800
do it just about every time. You just have to

1048
01:00:25.840 --> 01:00:28.719
be willing to find it and be vulnerable enough to

1049
01:00:28.840 --> 01:00:33.400
deliver that and know that that is enough. And uh, yeah,

1050
01:00:33.440 --> 01:00:36.199
and I think Bobby, uh, you know, Bobby Duval just

1051
01:00:36.239 --> 01:00:40.519
passed away and uh he he we worked on hearts

1052
01:00:40.559 --> 01:00:43.119
and I mean we worked on gods and generals together,

1053
01:00:44.000 --> 01:00:50.679
and uh, he stuck up for me with you know,

1054
01:00:50.760 --> 01:00:53.880
some of the people on that movie that that were

1055
01:00:54.280 --> 01:00:57.239
because I was like this Abercrombie and Fitch teen drama

1056
01:00:57.280 --> 01:01:01.400
guy to them, and he stuck up for me. And

1057
01:01:03.719 --> 01:01:07.960
he didn't stick up for me like like just because

1058
01:01:08.000 --> 01:01:09.840
it's right and I'm just going to stick up for you.

1059
01:01:10.000 --> 01:01:12.920
He stuck up for me, and he explained to me

1060
01:01:12.960 --> 01:01:15.559
this because he believed in it. He believed what he

1061
01:01:15.719 --> 01:01:18.559
you know, it wasn't just their bullies and I won't

1062
01:01:18.559 --> 01:01:23.280
allow it. It was their bullies and they're wrong. And

1063
01:01:23.840 --> 01:01:28.960
he also taught me, Bobby Duval taught me, don't work

1064
01:01:29.199 --> 01:01:35.440
so hard trying to prove anybody wrong. Work twice as

1065
01:01:35.480 --> 01:01:39.360
hard trying to prove yourself right. And I thought that

1066
01:01:39.360 --> 01:01:41.599
that was a pretty cool. It's like, don't worry about it,

1067
01:01:41.679 --> 01:01:45.320
don't worry about that, worry about you prove yourself right.

1068
01:01:45.760 --> 01:01:46.480
And that was cool.

1069
01:01:47.159 --> 01:01:50.840
They both did something for you where they said something

1070
01:01:51.079 --> 01:01:54.920
honest and true as it was happening, correct, which is

1071
01:01:55.079 --> 01:01:59.880
I think an important clarification because I know you mentioned

1072
01:01:59.880 --> 01:02:03.400
it earlier. But I know that you do something very

1073
01:02:03.440 --> 01:02:08.199
well with intention, and that is shining the spotlight on

1074
01:02:08.639 --> 01:02:10.800
people that you believe in or that you trust. And

1075
01:02:10.840 --> 01:02:13.840
I I am my people know this. I am big

1076
01:02:13.880 --> 01:02:16.639
into being a fangirl. Like I think being a fangirl

1077
01:02:16.760 --> 01:02:21.559
is a superpower because people work too hard to not

1078
01:02:22.199 --> 01:02:25.480
get that little jolt of whatever it is when it's happening.

1079
01:02:25.519 --> 01:02:28.519
Like you and I can respect the things that happen

1080
01:02:28.599 --> 01:02:31.599
behind the scenes to make that thing happen. And there's

1081
01:02:31.679 --> 01:02:34.360
always more going on. There's always a story. And there's

1082
01:02:34.400 --> 01:02:37.960
no such thing as overnight fame, only over or oh,

1083
01:02:38.000 --> 01:02:41.599
no such thing as overnight success, only overnight fame, And

1084
01:02:41.639 --> 01:02:45.360
that is an important clarification. But I believe in cheering loudly.

1085
01:02:45.519 --> 01:02:48.199
I believe in share. If I if there's something that

1086
01:02:48.239 --> 01:02:50.880
I like, a product or service or a book or

1087
01:02:50.880 --> 01:02:54.239
a song that like makes my makes me feel things,

1088
01:02:54.840 --> 01:02:57.239
I need to I can't even I can't help it anymore,

1089
01:02:57.280 --> 01:02:58.880
like I need to share it with the world. So

1090
01:02:59.159 --> 01:03:02.119
I want to know what is Burke fangirling over right now?

1091
01:03:02.760 --> 01:03:06.320
Oh man, so many things that I've discovered in the

1092
01:03:06.400 --> 01:03:11.119
last little bit that like have my mind blown Cam

1093
01:03:11.159 --> 01:03:15.159
Whitcomb is a musician from Canada. I love his stuff.

1094
01:03:17.280 --> 01:03:20.800
Max McNown is incredible. I love his stuff. They kind

1095
01:03:20.800 --> 01:03:22.440
of hand in hand a little bit for me. They're

1096
01:03:22.480 --> 01:03:27.800
both playing, they're both playing Stage Coach Day three. They're

1097
01:03:27.800 --> 01:03:30.280
both on Sunday for Stage Coach, which is cool. I

1098
01:03:30.320 --> 01:03:32.079
think they're both on Saturday. I think they're both on

1099
01:03:32.119 --> 01:03:34.880
Saturday for Stage Coach, which is cool. I'm looking forward

1100
01:03:34.920 --> 01:03:36.880
to that. I've seen them both live a few times,

1101
01:03:36.880 --> 01:03:40.840
and they're just insane. It's insane talent. It's insane talent.

1102
01:03:43.400 --> 01:03:48.800
I think that that there are other musicians that that

1103
01:03:48.880 --> 01:03:52.599
I've come to. You know, it's like you're teaching the

1104
01:03:52.639 --> 01:03:55.280
algorithm what you're into, right, and so it'll feed you

1105
01:03:55.320 --> 01:03:58.000
more of it. And again that's sort of a reap

1106
01:03:58.039 --> 01:04:01.440
what you sew thing. And so I've gotten to the

1107
01:04:01.480 --> 01:04:05.199
point where like, uh, I have so many that pop

1108
01:04:05.320 --> 01:04:08.159
up on my feed that I'm just like, oh my gosh,

1109
01:04:08.199 --> 01:04:12.239
so good, so good, so good. That I've actually consciously,

1110
01:04:12.599 --> 01:04:16.400
in the last recently, this only in the last few days,

1111
01:04:17.880 --> 01:04:22.119
started to say I need to slow that down because

1112
01:04:22.639 --> 01:04:28.119
it's becoming it's it's not it's becoming reactive to this

1113
01:04:28.159 --> 01:04:30.639
it's becoming just like, oh, you know, love it, love

1114
01:04:30.679 --> 01:04:35.199
it whatever. That's it's less honest than what it deserves.

1115
01:04:35.239 --> 01:04:37.960
Like I need to slow down how quickly I'm jumping on.

1116
01:04:38.199 --> 01:04:43.280
So I've been saving them to a folder and then

1117
01:04:43.760 --> 01:04:46.199
going down the rabbit hole with one or two that

1118
01:04:46.239 --> 01:04:48.920
I've found at a time, you know what I mean,

1119
01:04:48.960 --> 01:04:51.079
So I can hear more of their music and more

1120
01:04:51.119 --> 01:04:53.440
of their stuff and who and see more of who

1121
01:04:53.559 --> 01:04:58.320
they present themselves to be on on Instagram or TikTok,

1122
01:04:58.599 --> 01:05:01.960
and I think think, yeah, there's a lot of there

1123
01:05:02.000 --> 01:05:05.599
are a lot of creators out there that get a

1124
01:05:05.880 --> 01:05:11.599
bad rap as a whole because people are afraid of

1125
01:05:11.880 --> 01:05:14.920
you know, don't take my cheese, don't steal my cheese

1126
01:05:14.960 --> 01:05:20.480
or whatever. Patrick, Yeah, yep, that's it, thank you. Yeah,

1127
01:05:20.519 --> 01:05:23.719
they they think that that's what it is, as though

1128
01:05:23.760 --> 01:05:28.559
it's always a zero sum game to be to be clear,

1129
01:05:28.599 --> 01:05:32.079
there is a limited there are limited funds that people have,

1130
01:05:32.199 --> 01:05:34.840
but there's also a limited attention span that people have

1131
01:05:35.360 --> 01:05:41.840
to truly dedicate into any particular thing, and and so yes,

1132
01:05:41.920 --> 01:05:47.559
that is there. It is competition, but it's competing when

1133
01:05:47.559 --> 01:05:53.039
you when you're competing for other people's attention, and you

1134
01:05:53.079 --> 01:05:55.239
look at it as a race where one of us

1135
01:05:55.280 --> 01:05:58.639
will finish first, and that's what you know, in seconds,

1136
01:05:58.719 --> 01:06:00.800
just the first to lose or whatever that kind of

1137
01:06:00.920 --> 01:06:04.559
that's like in an audition, you can't be my competition.

1138
01:06:05.239 --> 01:06:07.760
You can't. If we're auditioning for the same role, you're

1139
01:06:07.800 --> 01:06:11.719
not my competition because I'm rooting for you, so like

1140
01:06:11.760 --> 01:06:15.400
you can't be like, it's not our control, it's not

1141
01:06:15.480 --> 01:06:20.960
ours to control. It's not ours to control what someone,

1142
01:06:21.920 --> 01:06:26.239
what hits, what impacts someone. What is ours to control

1143
01:06:26.840 --> 01:06:38.119
is making, creating, putting forward energy, art, music, performances, coffees,

1144
01:06:39.159 --> 01:06:42.559
you know what I mean, whatever you put forward into

1145
01:06:42.559 --> 01:06:49.360
the world, it is ours to put that forward as

1146
01:06:49.400 --> 01:06:54.159
honestly and with as much love in it for ours,

1147
01:06:54.639 --> 01:06:58.599
for us that we can yeah, yeah, and and because

1148
01:06:58.639 --> 01:07:02.360
then it can really be you know, then then it's

1149
01:07:02.360 --> 01:07:04.599
an honest response that you'll get from it instead of

1150
01:07:04.639 --> 01:07:07.159
worrying about what that person's doing. And there are a

1151
01:07:07.159 --> 01:07:09.679
lot of creators out there that are just going for

1152
01:07:09.760 --> 01:07:12.360
it and it's rad I mean, some of them are

1153
01:07:12.360 --> 01:07:14.800
super sios. Zach King is doing these things that are

1154
01:07:14.840 --> 01:07:17.639
just insane with his editing, and like it's so cool.

1155
01:07:17.719 --> 01:07:20.320
And then he'll show up at a school and they'll

1156
01:07:20.360 --> 01:07:22.639
put it up on the you know, this elementary school

1157
01:07:22.679 --> 01:07:24.760
and they'll put him up on the big projector screen

1158
01:07:24.880 --> 01:07:26.920
and he's talking one of his videos and all the

1159
01:07:27.000 --> 01:07:29.039
kids know him because he makes great stuff. And I

1160
01:07:29.079 --> 01:07:31.199
met him at the Shazam Tube premiere and he's just

1161
01:07:31.239 --> 01:07:35.079
a great dude. But you know, and and and they're

1162
01:07:35.079 --> 01:07:37.440
watching a video of him in their gym, in their

1163
01:07:37.480 --> 01:07:40.280
gymnasium or whatever it is. They're gym aatorium I think

1164
01:07:40.400 --> 01:07:43.519
is a cafetorium whatever. You know. They're sitting Chris Cross

1165
01:07:43.519 --> 01:07:47.039
applesauce on the floor watching this guy. And then and

1166
01:07:47.079 --> 01:07:48.960
then he falls out of the bottom of the screen

1167
01:07:50.119 --> 01:07:51.000
and he's really.

1168
01:07:50.800 --> 01:07:53.159
There there and just like that's one of his edits

1169
01:07:53.199 --> 01:07:55.920
even yeah.

1170
01:07:54.920 --> 01:07:57.440
And and he does it live for these kids like that.

1171
01:07:58.400 --> 01:08:01.639
Like who isn't a that? Yeah, you know what I mean?

1172
01:08:01.679 --> 01:08:04.840
Who doesn't want to be about that? So, like, you know,

1173
01:08:05.320 --> 01:08:10.239
Zach King certainly doesn't compare himself to anybody else because nobody's.

1174
01:08:09.800 --> 01:08:12.280
Doing what he's doing well, and it's you versus you.

1175
01:08:12.280 --> 01:08:14.239
You know, That's what I hear is that you have

1176
01:08:14.280 --> 01:08:15.280
to keep that in mind.

1177
01:08:15.360 --> 01:08:16.159
And remember.

1178
01:08:16.800 --> 01:08:18.600
And that's that's where you know self love is and

1179
01:08:18.640 --> 01:08:21.600
selfish because it is you versus you, and the goals

1180
01:08:21.600 --> 01:08:24.239
and stuff that you set for yourself matter that much

1181
01:08:24.279 --> 01:08:25.880
more because you set them.

1182
01:08:25.920 --> 01:08:26.359
That's right.

1183
01:08:26.760 --> 01:08:31.399
Yeah, quick, before you forget, what's the first thing that

1184
01:08:31.439 --> 01:08:34.560
somebody should do before they realize that the life they're

1185
01:08:34.600 --> 01:08:37.520
living is different than the one that they're meant to live.

1186
01:08:39.079 --> 01:08:42.399
What's the first thing they should do when they realize.

1187
01:08:42.079 --> 01:08:44.680
That when the life they planned isn't the one they're living.

1188
01:08:44.840 --> 01:08:49.039
Yeah, the first thing they should do when they realize

1189
01:08:49.079 --> 01:08:53.520
that is find ten things in the life there are

1190
01:08:53.640 --> 01:08:57.279
living that is not the life they planned for which

1191
01:08:57.359 --> 01:09:01.239
they are grateful ten ten things.

1192
01:09:01.560 --> 01:09:03.439
So what are birks ten things right now?

1193
01:09:04.560 --> 01:09:09.000
Oh? I mean my kids? Hands down, Like there's no.

1194
01:09:08.960 --> 01:09:12.359
That's that's it. The ten things, that's it. They would

1195
01:09:12.399 --> 01:09:13.760
just be my kids ten times.

1196
01:09:13.840 --> 01:09:16.760
Yeah, I mean honestly, like that's like, I like never

1197
01:09:16.880 --> 01:09:20.760
have to look far for anything to be for which

1198
01:09:20.760 --> 01:09:24.079
to be grateful. I can expound on that and say,

1199
01:09:25.720 --> 01:09:30.159
the opportunities that I have in this life to introduce

1200
01:09:30.359 --> 01:09:35.039
my kids to Ariana Grande, let them hang out, like

1201
01:09:35.159 --> 01:09:38.279
actually hang out, right, Tom Holland and let them hang out,

1202
01:09:38.520 --> 01:09:41.279
actually hang out and actually get to know them, or

1203
01:09:41.319 --> 01:09:45.119
Ian summer Holder or those are things for which but

1204
01:09:45.159 --> 01:09:48.359
it all, it all comes back to the root of

1205
01:09:48.399 --> 01:09:52.359
my kids, because none of us are living the lives

1206
01:09:52.439 --> 01:09:57.840
that we planned. Nobody is no one yeah, no one,

1207
01:09:58.600 --> 01:10:01.880
no one is zero. No one who's being honest with

1208
01:10:01.920 --> 01:10:06.840
themselves is living the life they planned. So if you

1209
01:10:07.039 --> 01:10:10.359
have to, if you are in that state where you

1210
01:10:10.439 --> 01:10:14.760
are comparing what you're living to what you planned and

1211
01:10:14.960 --> 01:10:21.119
thinking that there's something wrong, see just that comparison is

1212
01:10:21.159 --> 01:10:24.760
the grass is greener over here, right. That's why if

1213
01:10:24.800 --> 01:10:28.800
you're in that headspace, you need to work to find

1214
01:10:28.840 --> 01:10:31.640
the ten things that you're grateful for, which is why

1215
01:10:31.640 --> 01:10:34.840
that was my response. So like if I were in

1216
01:10:34.880 --> 01:10:40.359
that headspace, which I'm not. Thankfully I have been, but

1217
01:10:40.439 --> 01:10:43.920
I'm not, I would dig deep. I would not just

1218
01:10:44.000 --> 01:10:47.279
say my kids, but I have abundance in my life

1219
01:10:47.600 --> 01:10:50.840
right now. I'm very very I'm incredibly blessed right now.

1220
01:10:51.560 --> 01:10:53.600
Gus is hooking to grow up right now, do you

1221
01:10:53.680 --> 01:10:54.199
know what I mean?

1222
01:10:54.319 --> 01:10:54.560
Yes?

1223
01:10:55.159 --> 01:10:59.079
And so the list is too long for.

1224
01:10:59.119 --> 01:11:02.319
Ten, Well, what's one thing that you don't want to forget.

1225
01:11:02.079 --> 01:11:06.159
About right now, in this moment, right in this.

1226
01:11:06.159 --> 01:11:08.119
Moment, in this moment of abundance and stuff like, what

1227
01:11:08.239 --> 01:11:11.359
is one thing that you look back. I want to

1228
01:11:11.359 --> 01:11:15.000
get to your eightieth birthday party too, but before we all,

1229
01:11:15.079 --> 01:11:16.119
before we get right.

1230
01:11:16.000 --> 01:11:20.720
Now, I was a wild one. I'm ninety six before.

1231
01:11:20.399 --> 01:11:21.039
We get there.

1232
01:11:21.520 --> 01:11:24.239
Well, it's one thing about your daily life right now

1233
01:11:24.439 --> 01:11:27.800
that you don't want to forget.

1234
01:11:28.800 --> 01:11:34.439
Yeah, I would say that. I I'll say two things.

1235
01:11:34.960 --> 01:11:44.359
One that everyone in my immediate family and my closest friends,

1236
01:11:45.039 --> 01:11:50.279
having recently lost I can say and again I had

1237
01:11:50.279 --> 01:11:53.600
to actually do this when I saw my other friend

1238
01:11:53.840 --> 01:11:57.119
at Disney. It reminded me that I've had friends that

1239
01:11:57.159 --> 01:12:01.520
were sick and have made it that that's important. And

1240
01:12:01.600 --> 01:12:05.640
so I just recently lost somebody from my small circle

1241
01:12:06.159 --> 01:12:10.119
of friends and family, but everyone that is and it's

1242
01:12:10.159 --> 01:12:12.880
easy to focus on that, and that deserves focus, and

1243
01:12:12.880 --> 01:12:17.640
that deserves contemplation, and that deserves stages of grief, and

1244
01:12:17.720 --> 01:12:20.439
it deserves tears or whatever it needs to be right.

1245
01:12:21.399 --> 01:12:26.039
But it also is important to remember that the circle

1246
01:12:26.079 --> 01:12:30.479
that I have currently is all healthy. And I will

1247
01:12:30.479 --> 01:12:34.079
say that for sure is something that I would want

1248
01:12:34.119 --> 01:12:38.199
to hold on to for the next time someone is sick,

1249
01:12:38.279 --> 01:12:42.079
because people get sick. And I would also like to

1250
01:12:42.119 --> 01:12:44.399
say that right now, I'm pretty happy about the fact

1251
01:12:44.479 --> 01:12:48.119
that my wordle streak is at one hundred days.

1252
01:12:48.640 --> 01:12:51.399
That's a solid boom, solid flex right there.

1253
01:12:51.479 --> 01:12:55.840
Boom. One twenty is my record, and it's haunting me.

1254
01:12:55.880 --> 01:12:57.479
It's on there every time. At the end when I

1255
01:12:57.479 --> 01:13:01.319
get it right, it's like one twenty. Yeah. But I

1256
01:13:01.479 --> 01:13:05.960
remember when I was at fifty four, fifty four. I

1257
01:13:06.000 --> 01:13:11.079
remember it being at fifty four and with thinking, God, man,

1258
01:13:11.119 --> 01:13:13.439
it's gonna take me forever to get to one twenty one.

1259
01:13:14.399 --> 01:13:18.359
I remember that. I remember feeling that way and being like,

1260
01:13:18.560 --> 01:13:22.560
what are you doing? Why are we what are we doing? Hey, Bud,

1261
01:13:22.760 --> 01:13:24.680
what's up? Man? You're holding on a little too tight there,

1262
01:13:24.840 --> 01:13:28.079
my friend, and relaxing about it. And now I'm at

1263
01:13:28.079 --> 01:13:29.760
one hundred and I'm like, dude, one twenty one is

1264
01:13:29.800 --> 01:13:33.439
gonna be nothing. I'm getting got one fifty badge? Yeah, yes,

1265
01:13:33.640 --> 01:13:35.399
And it's so cool to throw it away and be like,

1266
01:13:35.439 --> 01:13:38.119
and if I don't get it, that's cool too, because

1267
01:13:38.159 --> 01:13:41.439
it's just wordle. Just you know what I mean? Yes,

1268
01:13:42.039 --> 01:13:43.680
that's it. Yeah.

1269
01:13:43.720 --> 01:13:46.640
Well, the goal post is always moving, right, the goalpost is.

1270
01:13:46.560 --> 01:13:49.239
Always moving, and it's important to remember that you're still

1271
01:13:49.239 --> 01:13:51.399
in the game. Yeah, And it's also important to remember

1272
01:13:51.760 --> 01:13:54.720
that there are times to contemplate the fact that everyone

1273
01:13:54.760 --> 01:13:57.119
in your in your family and your immediate circle are healthy,

1274
01:13:57.279 --> 01:13:59.119
and to go deep like that, and to think about

1275
01:13:59.159 --> 01:14:01.159
big stroke things like that, And there are times where

1276
01:14:01.199 --> 01:14:04.239
it's just okay to find yourself laughing. I just did

1277
01:14:04.239 --> 01:14:08.399
this movie that comes out March fifteenth, comes out March fifteenth,

1278
01:14:08.439 --> 01:14:11.520
and uh, my co star in the movie, the star

1279
01:14:11.600 --> 01:14:17.039
of the movie, Riley Reagan. Fantastic actress. Love Riley. She's amazing,

1280
01:14:17.079 --> 01:14:21.319
She's so talented, young actress here in La She told me,

1281
01:14:23.199 --> 01:14:26.319
we're sitting We're sitting in this. I don't know if

1282
01:14:26.319 --> 01:14:27.800
this is gonna be funny in the retelling. This is

1283
01:14:27.840 --> 01:14:29.479
my first time trying to retell it. But I will

1284
01:14:29.520 --> 01:14:32.840
tell you that I've thought of this over the last

1285
01:14:32.840 --> 01:14:34.840
three or four months since we shot the movie. It

1286
01:14:34.880 --> 01:14:38.359
has randomly popped in my hair like gonna cry. It's

1287
01:14:38.520 --> 01:14:43.399
randomly popped in my head totally at random and without explanation,

1288
01:14:43.560 --> 01:14:46.600
and I've found myself laughing. And I'll see people be

1289
01:14:46.680 --> 01:14:52.560
like all right, Well, what's it? What are we laughing about? One?

1290
01:14:53.199 --> 01:14:57.119
And they're plus they're with the lotion. No, but the

1291
01:14:58.840 --> 01:15:02.640
she were sitting in this drove that's all dummied up

1292
01:15:02.640 --> 01:15:04.640
on the trailer and has the lights in the camera,

1293
01:15:04.680 --> 01:15:07.159
you know, because we're driving this this thing. We're doing

1294
01:15:07.199 --> 01:15:10.399
the scene in the car, but they're resetting us. And

1295
01:15:10.439 --> 01:15:15.479
she's like, you know, I wanted to go to Atlantis,

1296
01:15:15.720 --> 01:15:18.199
you know, Atlantis, And I was like, yeah, of course.

1297
01:15:18.239 --> 01:15:20.439
She was like, I so badly wanted to go to Atlantis,

1298
01:15:20.439 --> 01:15:24.039
but I was on this cruise and the weather was bad,

1299
01:15:24.199 --> 01:15:27.079
and so we couldn't go to Atlantis. But we parked

1300
01:15:27.159 --> 01:15:30.319
we I think she said parked. I was like, cool,

1301
01:15:30.840 --> 01:15:33.199
we parked right off the island and you could see

1302
01:15:33.239 --> 01:15:35.560
it and it looks so cool. So I'm going to

1303
01:15:35.600 --> 01:15:38.199
go to Atlantis sometime. And I was like, oh, that's cool. Yeah,

1304
01:15:38.239 --> 01:15:39.640
I hope you do. You know, you let me know

1305
01:15:39.640 --> 01:15:41.199
when you do. I want to see pictures right now.

1306
01:15:41.239 --> 01:15:42.800
I meant that. I was trying to be like, good,

1307
01:15:42.840 --> 01:15:44.880
that's a great thing to do, and I'm sorry that

1308
01:15:44.920 --> 01:15:48.399
we weren't able to go, and she goes, yeah, also,

1309
01:15:48.479 --> 01:15:51.319
have you ever heard of the Poop Cruise, and I

1310
01:15:51.359 --> 01:15:58.319
was like, from from the okay, you're from the Netflix

1311
01:15:58.359 --> 01:16:01.600
document or anything. I mean that when like, yeah, you know,

1312
01:16:01.640 --> 01:16:06.199
it's funny because I was on the boat and weather

1313
01:16:06.239 --> 01:16:07.840
it was bad, so it just sort of stuck on

1314
01:16:07.880 --> 01:16:10.680
the boat. And I was like looking at this boat

1315
01:16:10.720 --> 01:16:12.880
to be like, I wonder how often this happens that

1316
01:16:12.920 --> 01:16:15.079
they can't go and the park right off the thing and

1317
01:16:15.079 --> 01:16:17.359
they can't go. And so while I'm looking, I realize

1318
01:16:17.680 --> 01:16:21.560
in my research online, I find out this book that

1319
01:16:21.640 --> 01:16:23.800
they've renamed the boat, but it's the boat from the

1320
01:16:23.800 --> 01:16:27.800
Poop Cruise. And I was like, and I just I

1321
01:16:28.079 --> 01:16:32.319
just the number of times that I've just found myself

1322
01:16:32.600 --> 01:16:36.279
laughing about, like when I see somebody like it's just

1323
01:16:36.399 --> 01:16:40.479
it's how she broke to me this very like like

1324
01:16:40.640 --> 01:16:43.119
she still is trying to the fact that she's still

1325
01:16:43.119 --> 01:16:45.720
trying to be like, yeah, so I didn't go. I

1326
01:16:45.800 --> 01:16:50.239
didn't go to Paradise. I saw it and then I

1327
01:16:50.319 --> 01:16:54.720
was on the Poop Cruise and I don't really know anyway.

1328
01:16:55.000 --> 01:16:56.920
I was like, I don't know what to do with you.

1329
01:16:56.960 --> 01:16:59.079
I love you so much, it's so honest with you

1330
01:16:59.199 --> 01:17:04.000
doing you ever heard of the poop and it's just

1331
01:17:04.439 --> 01:17:09.920
it's just the best and my song. One time I

1332
01:17:10.000 --> 01:17:12.680
had my child come up to me and I'm working

1333
01:17:12.720 --> 01:17:14.800
on my laptop and my child comes up. I'm sitting

1334
01:17:14.840 --> 01:17:16.840
on the couch. I'm working on my laptop. My child

1335
01:17:16.880 --> 01:17:20.000
comes up, two years old, comes up right to the

1336
01:17:21.239 --> 01:17:23.760
seat next to me on the couch, but doesn't climb up.

1337
01:17:24.000 --> 01:17:30.520
Toddler doesn't climb up, puts their elbows on it, and

1338
01:17:30.600 --> 01:17:39.560
looks off contemplatively. Daddy, you sinking what I sinking? Yes,

1339
01:17:39.960 --> 01:17:47.880
shutting that. Oh I don't know what are you sinking? Yeah,

1340
01:17:49.439 --> 01:17:57.239
I sink about squirrels. And I was like, I'm thinking

1341
01:17:57.239 --> 01:17:59.600
about squirrels too. Come up here, let's talk about it.

1342
01:17:59.760 --> 01:18:00.359
Talk it.

1343
01:18:00.359 --> 01:18:03.560
Get up here. And that's like probably the best hour

1344
01:18:03.880 --> 01:18:08.880
I think I've ever had talking about squirrels. And like

1345
01:18:09.039 --> 01:18:13.159
that's the you know, it's so it's the whole point.

1346
01:18:13.319 --> 01:18:16.479
There's so many hard things in this world. Yeah, there's

1347
01:18:16.520 --> 01:18:18.239
so many hard things in this world, and we're all

1348
01:18:18.279 --> 01:18:23.680
going to experience them. And this, this life is but

1349
01:18:23.760 --> 01:18:30.680
a vapor and like we are just astronomically mathematically impossible

1350
01:18:30.800 --> 01:18:33.079
that any of us are here, and we have already

1351
01:18:33.079 --> 01:18:36.279
beaten the odds in that way. That doesn't mean that

1352
01:18:36.319 --> 01:18:40.359
you shouldn't experience grief and pain and burden and regret

1353
01:18:40.720 --> 01:18:44.800
and these horrible harder things, because that's part of the

1354
01:18:44.840 --> 01:18:51.239
human experience during this brief vapor of time. But with

1355
01:18:51.439 --> 01:19:01.159
all of that, quick before you forget think about squirrels whatever. Yeah,

1356
01:19:01.159 --> 01:19:04.119
do you know what I'm saying? Let that stuff be

1357
01:19:04.239 --> 01:19:08.359
negative space to see the joy, to highlight the joy.

1358
01:19:10.079 --> 01:19:14.199
Thank you, because that was amazing. And it's time to

1359
01:19:14.239 --> 01:19:17.479
talk about your eightieth birthday? Oh God, Okay, are you ready?

1360
01:19:17.800 --> 01:19:18.199
Okay?

1361
01:19:18.640 --> 01:19:24.640
So I had a friend who passed away and we

1362
01:19:24.720 --> 01:19:27.800
ended up having like a zoom memorial service for him.

1363
01:19:28.479 --> 01:19:30.920
And the thing that made me really sad about it

1364
01:19:31.000 --> 01:19:33.399
was us everybody had been touched by this human and

1365
01:19:33.439 --> 01:19:35.239
there was about two hundred of us.

1366
01:19:35.119 --> 01:19:38.800
There and on the zoom on the zoom call. Yeah,

1367
01:19:38.880 --> 01:19:40.000
it was. It was amazing.

1368
01:19:40.199 --> 01:19:43.119
So it was Dave Hollis, who was married to Rachel Hollis,

1369
01:19:43.560 --> 01:19:47.279
and it was really unfortunate because the way that he

1370
01:19:47.359 --> 01:19:49.920
passed and everything leading up to his death was very hard.

1371
01:19:50.039 --> 01:19:54.359
But he having us all be there and talk about

1372
01:19:54.359 --> 01:19:57.359
how this one human had somehow sparked something in this

1373
01:19:57.520 --> 01:20:02.159
two hundred Lives was so cool and it made me

1374
01:20:02.199 --> 01:20:06.199
think about the importance of saying the thing right now,

1375
01:20:06.520 --> 01:20:09.359
right Like we talked about that saying the thing right now.

1376
01:20:10.319 --> 01:20:13.159
So what do you want to say right now about

1377
01:20:13.159 --> 01:20:16.319
your eightieth birthday? What do you want to remember? What

1378
01:20:16.359 --> 01:20:18.840
do you want people to be talking about? Who do

1379
01:20:18.880 --> 01:20:21.159
you want to be there? Obviously not everybody we want

1380
01:20:21.159 --> 01:20:22.680
to be there will be there, but what does it

1381
01:20:22.800 --> 01:20:24.359
just paint the picture for me? Like what does it

1382
01:20:24.399 --> 01:20:26.439
look like? What are they saying? And what do you

1383
01:20:26.479 --> 01:20:28.079
want them to be saying about your legacy?

1384
01:20:31.760 --> 01:20:40.800
Man, God, that's tough. That's a good one. I think

1385
01:20:41.319 --> 01:20:43.840
it's funny because I have my fiftieth birth I turned

1386
01:20:43.840 --> 01:20:48.359
fifty this year, and I keep I wanted to throw

1387
01:20:48.399 --> 01:20:52.800
a party, but I can't bring myself to throw a

1388
01:20:52.800 --> 01:20:58.439
party for myself. My other daughter, Paris, had her birthday

1389
01:20:58.720 --> 01:21:01.239
and she was fill a movie on her birthday and

1390
01:21:01.279 --> 01:21:03.640
she came back, and so she threw a birthday party

1391
01:21:03.680 --> 01:21:06.479
a couple months or about a month after her birthday,

1392
01:21:06.479 --> 01:21:10.119
and she donated. She put it, wrapped it into a

1393
01:21:10.199 --> 01:21:12.720
charity thing, and it was really she made it not

1394
01:21:12.800 --> 01:21:16.880
about her, And so maybe I will at some point

1395
01:21:16.920 --> 01:21:19.520
this year, throw a party, and it won't be my

1396
01:21:19.560 --> 01:21:21.800
birthday party, do you know what I mean? But like,

1397
01:21:23.600 --> 01:21:26.199
and maybe that's the answer. Maybe again something my kids

1398
01:21:26.560 --> 01:21:30.680
have taught me, right. Yeah, So it's funny that we're

1399
01:21:30.680 --> 01:21:33.239
talking about birthdays because I've been thinking about my birthday

1400
01:21:33.319 --> 01:21:37.199
quite a bit, you know, turning fifty or whatever. I'm

1401
01:21:37.279 --> 01:21:38.840
nineteen in remotes.

1402
01:21:39.279 --> 01:21:41.720
Twenty two, twenty two.

1403
01:21:41.800 --> 01:21:43.520
Yeah, got a lucky bullshit.

1404
01:21:47.039 --> 01:21:48.560
I don't know why I made her sound like that,

1405
01:21:48.640 --> 01:21:50.159
but I chose this's weird.

1406
01:21:50.159 --> 01:21:51.199
It did kind of sound like that.

1407
01:21:51.199 --> 01:21:55.319
That's weird. Film Milwaukee. Listen, Laverne Shirley, calm it down.

1408
01:21:55.720 --> 01:22:02.760
So I think I would want obviously my circle there.

1409
01:22:02.840 --> 01:22:05.079
I would want my friends there. I would want my

1410
01:22:05.399 --> 01:22:12.880
kids there. I'd want my family there. That's an obvious one.

1411
01:22:13.520 --> 01:22:17.319
I think beyond that, I would want to be surprised

1412
01:22:17.359 --> 01:22:21.520
by the people that are there. I would want It's

1413
01:22:21.560 --> 01:22:24.920
not so much that I want a surprise party, as

1414
01:22:25.000 --> 01:22:28.319
much as I would rather be surprised by the people

1415
01:22:28.960 --> 01:22:29.880
that are there.

1416
01:22:31.439 --> 01:22:32.800
To come and celebrate you, that.

1417
01:22:32.720 --> 01:22:36.800
Would want to come and participate in that while I

1418
01:22:36.880 --> 01:22:41.039
was still alive, which would be rad And I think

1419
01:22:44.399 --> 01:22:48.319
I think I remember this guy, Scott Chambers, bass player,

1420
01:22:48.760 --> 01:22:51.479
went high school together and played bass in his band

1421
01:22:51.520 --> 01:22:56.800
Pink Salmon. Scott Chambers when we had senior superlatives, told

1422
01:22:56.920 --> 01:22:59.840
me that he had written my name down for all

1423
01:22:59.880 --> 01:23:07.640
of them. And I mean I liked Scott. He was

1424
01:23:07.720 --> 01:23:10.039
really he was a cool like people liked Scotty. He

1425
01:23:10.079 --> 01:23:16.039
was popular. He was a cool guy. I couldn't Still today,

1426
01:23:16.439 --> 01:23:19.319
I almost wanted to facebook him. Is a few years

1427
01:23:19.319 --> 01:23:21.039
ago that I thought the last time I ever thought

1428
01:23:21.039 --> 01:23:23.760
of this was he like followed me on Facebook or something.

1429
01:23:23.800 --> 01:23:25.920
We had our high school reunion, so I had to

1430
01:23:25.960 --> 01:23:31.600
be become active on Facebook again because that's where everything was. Yeah,

1431
01:23:30.640 --> 01:23:34.119
And when I saw him, immediately thought that could hit

1432
01:23:34.199 --> 01:23:38.680
me how how kind that was to me, and how

1433
01:23:38.800 --> 01:23:42.279
shocked at how surprised I was by it that this

1434
01:23:42.640 --> 01:23:44.720
super popular. I mean he was always really nice, Like

1435
01:23:44.720 --> 01:23:47.680
he wasn't popular like like in the movies. Like he

1436
01:23:47.760 --> 01:23:49.880
wasn't the jock in the movies that was popular and

1437
01:23:49.920 --> 01:23:51.920
a jerk to people. He was just this nice guy.

1438
01:23:51.960 --> 01:23:54.000
Everybody loved him and he was a really cool guy,

1439
01:23:54.079 --> 01:23:55.960
like he made people laugh and he was good. He

1440
01:23:56.000 --> 01:23:57.800
was in this band that was a cool band, you

1441
01:23:57.800 --> 01:24:03.079
know what I mean. Yeah, and I still I still

1442
01:24:03.199 --> 01:24:04.800
like wish that I could figure out a way to

1443
01:24:04.880 --> 01:24:08.600
word asking him what that was about, or at least

1444
01:24:08.640 --> 01:24:10.000
thanking him for it.

1445
01:24:10.039 --> 01:24:11.920
Well you just did, I mean, I don't know his name,

1446
01:24:12.560 --> 01:24:15.920
Scott Chambers. Yeah, so Scott Chambers, thank you for doing

1447
01:24:15.920 --> 01:24:16.840
that for my friend Burke.

1448
01:24:17.079 --> 01:24:20.640
Yeah, Like I remember being shocked by it and how

1449
01:24:20.960 --> 01:24:23.399
touched I was by that. Having said all of that,

1450
01:24:24.239 --> 01:24:27.680
people like Scott Chambers, like those moments when you see

1451
01:24:27.680 --> 01:24:30.920
them are pretty incredible, you know what I mean, And

1452
01:24:31.000 --> 01:24:35.279
so I would want I would want that to be

1453
01:24:35.439 --> 01:24:38.479
it now. Now listen, there are there will never be

1454
01:24:38.640 --> 01:24:41.039
anything that tops and I in no way, shape or

1455
01:24:41.039 --> 01:24:44.840
form am even referencing myself in this story. It is

1456
01:24:44.880 --> 01:24:48.880
a video that everyone should check out. And unfortunately the

1457
01:24:49.039 --> 01:24:52.319
name of the gentleman is going to escape me. But

1458
01:24:52.560 --> 01:24:55.920
in the eighties, I mean, it's not he's it's not

1459
01:24:56.119 --> 01:25:00.239
a celebrity or anything like that except every but he

1460
01:25:00.239 --> 01:25:03.880
has the opportunity to be a celebrity or to be

1461
01:25:03.920 --> 01:25:07.600
treated like one. By treating people the right way, you

1462
01:25:07.680 --> 01:25:10.000
know what I mean, you can impact people right now,

1463
01:25:10.119 --> 01:25:12.920
and like that can have an impact and make people

1464
01:25:12.960 --> 01:25:15.039
excited to see you just in the way you behave.

1465
01:25:15.239 --> 01:25:19.960
But because fame is fictional, fame is a false creation,

1466
01:25:20.159 --> 01:25:23.399
and it's not real at all. They don't love you,

1467
01:25:23.600 --> 01:25:26.439
they love your work or their song or whatever. They

1468
01:25:26.439 --> 01:25:30.239
don't know you. Chill out and it can run away

1469
01:25:30.319 --> 01:25:35.520
just as quickly as it came. But this gentleman had

1470
01:25:38.159 --> 01:25:43.319
saved hundreds of people during the Holocaust, hundreds of Jews

1471
01:25:43.359 --> 01:25:48.520
during the Holocaust, and he had saved them by putting

1472
01:25:48.560 --> 01:25:51.239
them similar to like a Schindler's List kind of thing.

1473
01:25:51.319 --> 01:25:53.359
He had saved these people, and he put himself at

1474
01:25:53.359 --> 01:25:58.319
great risk in doing it. And he and his wife

1475
01:25:58.399 --> 01:26:00.399
they were in New York, I think, and his wife

1476
01:26:00.439 --> 01:26:02.000
was like, you know, we're going to go see this

1477
01:26:02.199 --> 01:26:05.399
daytime talk show or whatever. So sitting in the audience

1478
01:26:05.399 --> 01:26:07.720
and his full audience, and the show starts, and the

1479
01:26:07.760 --> 01:26:09.760
person comes out and starts talking for a second and

1480
01:26:09.800 --> 01:26:15.439
then starts talking about him, and he's genuinely surprised, and

1481
01:26:15.479 --> 01:26:18.199
he's older at this point, you know, and he's looking around.

1482
01:26:18.239 --> 01:26:20.560
He's trying to figure out every single other person in

1483
01:26:20.600 --> 01:26:25.399
the audience was someone he had saved. Wow, And he

1484
01:26:25.880 --> 01:26:28.560
had no idea yeah, you should watch this video. Yeah,

1485
01:26:28.560 --> 01:26:31.920
it's magic. Wow, it's magic. The thing is that is

1486
01:26:32.000 --> 01:26:35.680
such an incredibly that is the that is such an

1487
01:26:35.760 --> 01:26:40.319
incredible vast amount the Holocaust. World War two was horrible.

1488
01:26:40.439 --> 01:26:46.039
War is destruction and awful. The Holocaust is a totally

1489
01:26:46.159 --> 01:26:53.239
different level of just wretchedly horrible, just wrong. But that

1490
01:26:53.399 --> 01:26:56.319
is such a dark negative space that it makes the

1491
01:26:56.439 --> 01:27:01.840
joy super bright. Space doesn't have to be you don't

1492
01:27:01.920 --> 01:27:04.880
need you know, it's like this, we're so divided, and

1493
01:27:04.920 --> 01:27:07.279
it's like if we could have a common enemy, it's like, right,

1494
01:27:07.680 --> 01:27:10.239
ease up, man, how about we just focus on what

1495
01:27:10.359 --> 01:27:14.119
unites us. Yes, a common enemy helps unite you. It

1496
01:27:14.159 --> 01:27:17.319
makes it more clear because you can all choose this

1497
01:27:17.359 --> 01:27:20.319
one thing. But there's far more that unites us than

1498
01:27:20.399 --> 01:27:23.239
divides us, and if you look for it, and so

1499
01:27:23.720 --> 01:27:26.199
that's you know what I mean. So I'm not comparing

1500
01:27:26.239 --> 01:27:31.520
anything to that because of how dark that is and

1501
01:27:31.560 --> 01:27:33.760
how much joy he was able to pull in that

1502
01:27:33.840 --> 01:27:37.239
moment from this incredibly dark time. But we all have

1503
01:27:37.319 --> 01:27:40.479
an opportunity to pull some kind of joy in that way,

1504
01:27:40.520 --> 01:27:44.079
and in that similarity, I would like to be surprised

1505
01:27:44.800 --> 01:27:48.560
by Scott Chambers voting for me for all of the superlatives.

1506
01:27:48.680 --> 01:27:50.800
I'd like those little things, things that I didn't know

1507
01:27:50.920 --> 01:27:53.720
impacted somebody would mean a lot to me. That's why

1508
01:27:53.720 --> 01:27:57.359
I would want to see one of and Christy Brinkley.

1509
01:27:57.960 --> 01:28:01.159
And Christy Brinkley winks.

1510
01:28:03.199 --> 01:28:07.199
You said something very powerful to me about the things

1511
01:28:07.199 --> 01:28:09.720
that unite us, and there are there are many, you

1512
01:28:09.760 --> 01:28:11.760
know we we I think we take that for granted.

1513
01:28:11.760 --> 01:28:15.119
There as plenty of things that unite us. One of

1514
01:28:15.159 --> 01:28:20.479
my favorites is music. I feel something in my soul

1515
01:28:20.680 --> 01:28:24.279
comes alive at a show, and that's why I want

1516
01:28:24.319 --> 01:28:26.960
to walk you through your playlist. So I want to

1517
01:28:27.079 --> 01:28:31.159
know Burke's playlist for certain things, Okay, and I know

1518
01:28:31.239 --> 01:28:33.520
that that's hard because I know that you're a music

1519
01:28:33.560 --> 01:28:37.199
guy too. So like my song of survival is obviously

1520
01:28:37.319 --> 01:28:38.720
swim by Andrew McMahon.

1521
01:28:38.960 --> 01:28:39.600
We know this.

1522
01:28:39.840 --> 01:28:43.279
Andrew McMahon. McMahon up that one.

1523
01:28:43.880 --> 01:28:45.800
Thank you you're missing out.

1524
01:28:45.960 --> 01:28:48.560
Does he does he play under any other names?

1525
01:28:48.760 --> 01:28:53.720
Yes, yes, there's something corporate something Jack's Mannequin and Mannequin,

1526
01:28:54.520 --> 01:28:58.359
which is my favorite and Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness.

1527
01:28:58.760 --> 01:28:59.520
I'll check them out.

1528
01:28:59.760 --> 01:29:00.000
Please.

1529
01:29:01.199 --> 01:29:03.399
I gave you all the time. Yep, you need to

1530
01:29:03.439 --> 01:29:04.720
have your song with Survival already.

1531
01:29:05.000 --> 01:29:10.720
Okay. Uh, mister Blue Sky's is one of my favorite

1532
01:29:10.720 --> 01:29:11.239
songs ever.

1533
01:29:11.640 --> 01:29:13.520
Yes, that's a good one.

1534
01:29:13.840 --> 01:29:16.000
I hear it. I feel it in my soul. With

1535
01:29:16.119 --> 01:29:18.039
you said it, I'm like, I got it. I locked

1536
01:29:18.039 --> 01:29:18.560
I'm locked in.

1537
01:29:20.000 --> 01:29:24.880
Uh. Andrew actually has several that would be on that playlist,

1538
01:29:24.960 --> 01:29:27.239
and I you know, it's hard to pick just one

1539
01:29:28.119 --> 01:29:32.399
for that trying because I'm trying and I and that's

1540
01:29:32.399 --> 01:29:34.439
why I'm saying it's hard to pick just one. I mean,

1541
01:29:34.960 --> 01:29:39.520
dark Blue obviously, like Ye just hits different mixtape. I

1542
01:29:39.520 --> 01:29:43.600
mean they're they're you know, friends, I mean, there's so

1543
01:29:43.920 --> 01:29:45.199
you know what I mean, it's hard. I guess I

1544
01:29:45.199 --> 01:29:47.520
would just go with Dark Blue because of what it

1545
01:29:47.680 --> 01:29:48.520
reminds me.

1546
01:29:48.760 --> 01:29:51.760
Of that we're not alone in a crowded.

1547
01:29:51.439 --> 01:29:55.880
Alone in the crowded room. Yeah. And then uh, may

1548
01:29:56.319 --> 01:30:00.840
m a E has a song that I that I'm

1549
01:30:00.840 --> 01:30:04.239
trying to remember the title of now. It's so funny

1550
01:30:04.279 --> 01:30:07.520
because I was just playing it for my daughter. But

1551
01:30:08.359 --> 01:30:12.720
they have a song off of their album that is

1552
01:30:12.920 --> 01:30:18.239
off of their album Destination Beautiful, their first album, and

1553
01:30:18.279 --> 01:30:23.560
it's sound off calling to La gonna be the one

1554
01:30:23.560 --> 01:30:26.239
that makes it happen. I can't think of the name

1555
01:30:26.279 --> 01:30:28.840
of it. It starts with an A, but it's it's escaping.

1556
01:30:28.479 --> 01:30:31.560
Me right now, please do Yeah, thank you for saying

1557
01:30:31.560 --> 01:30:31.840
that one.

1558
01:30:31.880 --> 01:30:36.239
Definitely, it's a little rough, but that one definitely. That

1559
01:30:36.319 --> 01:30:40.680
one definitely gets me amped as well. And then I

1560
01:30:40.720 --> 01:30:44.159
think discovering new songs is also like a cool thing,

1561
01:30:44.239 --> 01:30:48.880
like when, which Spotify does okay, but like TikTok, there

1562
01:30:48.920 --> 01:30:51.119
are a few other sources that will play more and

1563
01:30:51.399 --> 01:30:54.079
have a better algorithm to match closer to what you're doing.

1564
01:30:54.119 --> 01:30:57.680
Oh and Counting Crows August and everything after. It's probably

1565
01:30:57.680 --> 01:31:01.520
one of the better albums for me. Recovering the Satellites,

1566
01:31:01.560 --> 01:31:03.560
the second album from them is great too. A lot

1567
01:31:03.560 --> 01:31:05.359
of music is where you were when you heard it.

1568
01:31:05.560 --> 01:31:09.600
Yeah, well, we could talk about that particular topic for

1569
01:31:09.640 --> 01:31:13.119
like several days, not just hours, but days, and maybe

1570
01:31:13.159 --> 01:31:16.079
we will. In the meantime, though, I am just so

1571
01:31:16.239 --> 01:31:19.119
grateful for your time, for your energy, for your abundance,

1572
01:31:19.119 --> 01:31:22.680
for everything, for pouring into me, and for pouring into

1573
01:31:22.680 --> 01:31:26.920
everybody that's watching and listening. And I want to clarify

1574
01:31:27.039 --> 01:31:29.039
and ask you if there's anything else that you want

1575
01:31:29.039 --> 01:31:29.359
to share.

1576
01:31:29.520 --> 01:31:32.119
Before we wrap, I want to say that I am

1577
01:31:32.119 --> 01:31:34.720
so grateful that we met on Instagram. That's what the

1578
01:31:34.760 --> 01:31:38.039
platform can do. That we became so close via Instagram

1579
01:31:38.399 --> 01:31:40.800
because of our commonalities. And I also want to thank

1580
01:31:40.840 --> 01:31:42.920
you for coming all the way out here to my

1581
01:31:43.000 --> 01:31:46.960
hometown of California. And this is Lazy Pickle Studios, which

1582
01:31:47.000 --> 01:31:49.199
is so rad. They've got so many different rooms. We're

1583
01:31:49.199 --> 01:31:51.439
in the Jade room right now, and it is the

1584
01:31:51.560 --> 01:31:56.640
coolest studio in LA and the variety is so dope.

1585
01:31:56.840 --> 01:31:59.079
And I'm not paid to say this or anything like that,

1586
01:31:59.119 --> 01:32:02.239
but it was readily. They were so helpful, Ashley and Sydney.

1587
01:32:02.279 --> 01:32:05.399
They were so rad and like and I mean, you know,

1588
01:32:05.479 --> 01:32:08.800
even the help that they were giving in technologically because

1589
01:32:08.880 --> 01:32:13.880
I know nothing about it was super rad. And I'm

1590
01:32:13.920 --> 01:32:16.520
just so grateful to this experience and to all of

1591
01:32:16.560 --> 01:32:20.560
the people both Lazy Pickle, you the pilots that got

1592
01:32:20.600 --> 01:32:23.960
you here safely. Should probably high five of them all

1593
01:32:24.000 --> 01:32:25.920
of that. I'm just so grateful to have it, to

1594
01:32:26.119 --> 01:32:28.640
have it, and I'm looking forward to the Three Pianos

1595
01:32:28.800 --> 01:32:33.199
show in Chicago. The twenty second same, oh no, the

1596
01:32:33.239 --> 01:32:35.359
twenty second is here Long Beach. I'll be there too,

1597
01:32:35.399 --> 01:32:38.119
but the fourteenth and the twelfth is his solo show,

1598
01:32:38.119 --> 01:32:38.680
so we'll see that.

1599
01:32:39.880 --> 01:32:42.960
Until then, We'll see you next time on Quick Before

1600
01:32:43.000 --> 01:32:47.439
You Forget. Thank you for being here with me today on.

1601
01:32:47.439 --> 01:32:50.920
Quick Before You Forget. Please like, share and subscribe as

1602
01:32:50.960 --> 01:32:54.159
that helps the show so much and I really appreciated it.

1603
01:32:54.439 --> 01:32:57.159
And I'll see you next time on Quick Before You Forget.