Aug. 10, 2026

Get in the Photo: Embracing Your Inner Child with Disney Cast Member Julie Voris

Get in the Photo: Embracing Your Inner Child with Disney Cast Member Julie Voris

QUICK BEFORE YOU FORGET: AT A GLANCE WHO is Julie Voris? Julie Voris is a mindset and habit coach, speaker, wellness entrepreneur and Disney Cast Member who has spent decades helping women live with more purpose, confidence and intention. She has...

QUICK BEFORE YOU FORGET: AT A GLANCE

WHO is Julie Voris?

Julie Voris is a mindset and habit coach, speaker, wellness entrepreneur and Disney Cast Member who has spent decades helping women live with more purpose, confidence and intention. She has spoken to audiences of more than 10,000 people, raised three daughters and built a career around helping women remember that their lives are not over just because one chapter has ended.

WHAT is Quick Before You Forget?

I’m Ty Schmidt, host of Quick Before You Forget, where I have meaningful conversations with people who can help us remember who we are while we build who we’re meant to be. In this conversation, Julie and I discuss joy, identity, aging, motherhood, grief, movement, self-belief and what Julie has learned about human behavior from watching people experience Disney from the other side of the camera.

WHY do you need this episode of Quick Before You Forget in your life?

Because somewhere along the way, a lot of us stopped participating in our own lives.

We became the person taking the picture instead of getting in it. The person cheering everyone else on while quietly putting our own dreams away. The person waiting to feel better, look better, have more time or finally feel “ready.”

Julie’s reminder is simple: Joy does not have an expiration date. And neither do you.

WHO needs this episode of Quick Before You Forget?

Anyone who has caught themselves wondering:

Is this all there is? Did I miss my chance? When did I stop feeling like me? Am I allowed to want more from my life?

Quick Before You Forget with Julie Voris is a reminder that changing your life doesn’t always require changing everything. Sometimes it starts with noticing something good in the world around you. Putting down your phone. Walking outside for ten minutes. Believing yourself before anyone else does. And getting back in the picture.

QUICK BEFORE YOU FORGET: You are not too old, too late or too far gone to participate fully in your own life.

Get in the photo.

Meaningful Moments

00:00 — Joy Does Not Have an Expiration Date
01:00 — Who is Julie Voris?
03:00 — Why Your Best Chapters Aren’t Behind You
07:00 — You Still Have So Much Life Ahead of You
09:00 — What Disney Has Taught Julie About Creating a Life
12:00 — What Julie Started Noticing as a Disney Cast Member
13:00 — Does Joy Have an Expiration Date?
15:00 — Ty’s Full-Circle Search for Joy
18:00 — Get in the Freaking Picture
20:00 — Disney Is a Laboratory for Life
22:00 — Participate in Someone Else’s Joy
23:00 — The Practice of Noticing
25:00 — You Can Be Grateful AND Want More
27:00 — How Grief and Joy Coexist
29:00 — Stop Doomscrolling and Change Your Corner of the World
32:00 — Move Your Body, Change Your Mind
34:00 — Take Back Your Agency
37:00 — Give Your Brain Space to Think
39:00 — Why Do You Want an Out From Making Your Life Better?
40:00 — “Most Expensive Day Ever” vs. “Best Day Ever”
43:00 — Who Believed in Julie? Julie Did.
44:00 — Life Is a Group Project
46:00 — Doing the Real Work on Yourself
47:00 — Moms: Your Life Did Not End When You Had Kids
49:00 — Make the Baggage Lighter for the Next Generation
51:00 — You Are Not the Only One
53:00 — What Julie’s Three Daughters Have Taught Her
57:00 — It’s Your First Time Here, Too
58:00 — What Julie Would Tell Her 22-Year-Old Self
1:00:00 — “It’s Not That Deep”
1:01:00 — The Song That Became Julie’s Lighthouse
1:02:00 — Quick Before You Forget: Get in the Picture

Julie's song: Happily Ever After, Jordan Fisher & Angie Keilhauer
Ty's earrings: https://www.lovisa.com/?ref=tyler2922
Ty's fun pink pens: https://amzn.to/4gi6dER

WEBVTT

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When you say no. You think it's just say no

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to a photo. What I see is you just told

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your child that Joy has an expiration date, that Wonder

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has an expiration date, that magic has an expiration date.

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That now I'm a grown up, I don't need to

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do the silly thing and get my pack. You think

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it's just a picture that you're saying no to, It's

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not that big of a deal. It's a bigger deal

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than you.

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Hello, Julie Voris, welcome to quick before you forget.

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Thanks for having me here. Really excited to be here.

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I am so excited. So before I launch into your

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bio for our friends, I just needed to share the truth,

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which is that I went with my family to Disney

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World about two months ago, and I have never It's

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only my second time there, and I had not spent

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the money on the photography pass until this time. And

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I came home and I was so grateful that I did.

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There's so many fun there's so many miracles. There's so

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many amazing things that happened from that photo pass from

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people just like Julie. But Julie's story is a lot

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longer and a lot more exciting than that, So friends,

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I'm going to just share with you a little bit

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about Julie. She's someone who reminds people that it is

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never too late to become who you were meant to be,

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which is right in our wheel house here at Quick

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before you forget. Julie is a mindset and habit coach, speaker,

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and wellness entrepreneur who has inspired thousands of women to

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live with more purpose, confident and unapologetic truth. From speaking

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on stages of more than ten thousand people to helping

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midlife women reconnect with themselves and build lives they actually

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want to live, Julie blends practical strategy with real life

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wisdom in a way that feels deeply empowering and inspiring.

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She now lives right next to Walt Disney World with

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her husband, is the proud mom of three grown daughters,

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and recently added Disney cast member to her already incredible

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dream kit catching resume. Julie, I'm so excited to jump

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into your story today.

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Thank you so much. Thank you for having me. I

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really appreciate it.

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I am so pumped because while people seem to think

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that a lot of their life is behind them, like

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their most exciting chapters are over, you seem my friend

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determined to prove the opposite. So I want to know

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where that mindset came from and how exactly we start

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doing that.

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You know, I don't know that I have a really

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good answers for you on that. I will say that

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my parents had me in their forties, so my brother

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and sister were in high school and I was born.

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My parents were older than everybody else's parents when they

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had me. You know, my parents were the ages of

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everyone else's grandparents when I was growing up. So I

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think that that has given me a different outlook on time,

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a different perspective on time. I don't know that I

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can define that, but I think that I've always had that.

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You know, I grew up really just being me in

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the house. My brother and sister were pretty much gone

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by the time. I remember, they were having children and

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having their own families, and it was just me and

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my mom and dad. And then, you know, my dad

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retired and they moved to Florida, and all these things

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that happened generally to everybody else's grandparents were happening to

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my parents. And then I lost my dad twenty five

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years ago. That no one was experiencing that at my

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age and my mom. It's interesting that we're talking about

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this given the Mother's Day was yesterday. My mom and

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I have always had a very challenging relationship, more so

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especially with my dad being gone and then with her

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getting older. But she is ninety eight, So the girl

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has some good genes that I will accept because because

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the trade off has been the generational baggage that she's

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given me. But I will take the good genetics at

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the long life, you know, as a little bit of

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the trade off. And I just think there's been something

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in having older parents that has given me a different perspective.

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And I say that also saying it wasn't like my

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mom had another career. It wasn't like my mom had

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a career. It wasn't like my mom had big goals

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and dreams. It was like I was seeing that. I

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just think that the loss of my dad young, the

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age of my mom, and the different experiences that I

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had growing up different than my my friends, my childhood friends,

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simply because my parents were in such a different season

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of life. You know, when I'm I'm in high school,

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my dad's retiring, this is that's a very different season

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of life. They also had to worry less about money,

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that we could travel more. You know, there was just

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different pieces that then informed who I was. So I

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think I got to see a lot more of the world,

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which helped because I wasn't necessarily seeing that in my

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own home or seeing that in my own tiny little town. So,

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you know, I don't know that that's a really good answer.

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I just I think having older parents helped me have

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a different kind of perspective on aging. I often say

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that people are put in your life. Sometimes they're putting

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your life to learn from, and sometimes they're put in

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your life to learn what you don't want to do.

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And I'd certainly have had all of that. I'm sure

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everyone has in there with both their parents to some degree.

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And while I'll take the good genetics, there's a lot

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of the stuff from my mom that I don't want,

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but I get to watch that actually play out in

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front of me and can know better and do better.

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So as I watched her sort of decide her life

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was done when my dad passed away, which is very generational,

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but doesn't have to be. It doesn't have to be

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every day. As you said, I work at Disney, I

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see plenty of people there that are older, and they

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are skidetline and skittering around that part dressed in their

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Disney merch so that it does not have to be

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your story. But you know, I did see that, and

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I just thought that's probably that's probably not story that

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I want, probably not what I want. And I think

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that informed sort of this next, this second chapter, this idea.

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I just kind of lived at my life and thought, well,

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if I'm gonna live to be one hundred and twenty,

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which I've already decided that I am so, and I

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have a lot more life in front of me that

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I have behind me, Like cognitively, don't you just know that?

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So why are we acting like life is over? Just

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because just because your kids grow up, it just means

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that part of your life has shifted. It doesn't mean

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that you're done. I don't know that's a really good answer,

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but that's kind of where that's kind of what's in

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my head.

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It's a great answer because tomorrow is not guaranteed. I

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think a lot of people need reminding of that, Like

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we have this gift of today and tomorrow. Life is

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so short and we don't know when Honestly, a lot

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of us don't know when we're going to be saying

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goodbye to somebody for the first time, or hack when

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our twelve year old son is going to grab our

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hand for the first time or the last time. I

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mean at a the You know, you just don't know

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when these moments are so fleeting sometimes what you want

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to hold on to. Which is interesting that that is

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such a core thing for you, because I know that

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on the flip side of all of that, that is

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this this hunger and thirst and creation of joy, and

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I like that is my love language. I have been

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doing this thing on the Internet that I call joy

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from the ground up for a while now, where I

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put my phone on the ground and it's a it's

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a visual hook. I will admit that I'm trying to

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get people hooked, and so far it hasn't. It hasn't

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really hooked that well. But it's a visual hook. I

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put my phone on the ground and I pick it up,

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and I ask people what they're grateful for today, And

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you know, just finding something to be grateful for to me,

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sparks a joy in your day. And it doesn't have

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to be fancy or big. It could just be Gosh,

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darn it, I love this sparkly pen and it makes

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me happy, you know, like it could be that simple.

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So how did you start to figure out that when

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you're you know, looking at time as gift and time

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being so fleeting, When did you start to embrace joy

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as part of your everyday life.

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That's a great question. Well, I think I started to. Well,

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you know, I've been talking about Disney my whole life.

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My first trip was at age three. Like you can

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see it in the background. That's my ticket from my

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that's my ticket from my trip at age three. That's

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me sitting on the monterail with my mom at age three.

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So I've been talking about Disney all my life, and

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I think Disney has informed it has formed and informed

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me my entire life. I've always looked through my business,

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my life, my parenting, my house, how I want my

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house to feel like through a lens of Disney, Because

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to me, it's not about the cartoons, although my girls

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grew up with that, or the music, although we've all

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grown up with that, or the rides or that's not Disney.

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To me. Disney is about that a human beings stood

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in the middle of a swamp land in Orlando and

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saw something and then and he saw it in his mind,

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and then he created it, which has been insane to me,

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and then created an entire culture of experience and immersion

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and excellence around it. So when I say Disney has

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formed and informed me, it's always been those pieces that

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have been part of my life. How can I raise

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the standard in my business? How when I taught group

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fitness for two decades, how can I make this feel

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like Disney from a group fitness you know, standpoint? How

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can I make a talk I give feel like Disney

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is always informed and informed me. So I've been talking

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about Disney for a long time. I say all that

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because I've also talked about joy in a lot of ways.

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I've always talked about habit, I've always talked about positivity.

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I've always talked about choice always. When I started working

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there and I started putting the two lenses together, which

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I probably always have, It's just something that stops your scroll.

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When you see a cast member doing it, people are like,

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wait a minute, where you been doing? What? How? Oh?

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I'm like, you know, it's it's funny. It's like, oh,

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you're new to me. But I'm not new to this.

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You're new to me, does not? I mean I'm new

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to this. I've actually been talking about this. Like my

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first post on Instagram was February twenty twelve. Okay, I've

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been on this platform for fourteen years talking about much

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of the same thing. I have a really good friend

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who's a videographer who's sen so many of my videos

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over the years for my business and such a message

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reason until be like, girl, you literally said this same

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thing ten years ago, I'm like, I know, I am

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stupidly consistent. It was when I was in a cast

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member coustume that people started paying attention to it because

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now I had the lens of not just being a

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guest and having Disney inform me as a guest, as

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a person who's experiencing it and wanting to bring some

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of these pieces into my own life or what I offer.

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Now I have the lens of a cast member and

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actually being on the other side of the camera and

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seeing how people interact in this space, and I'm able

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to shine a light on it. And for some people

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that's uncomfortable, and for some people they're like, I've never

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thought of that. You know, for example, every day when

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I work and I, let's say I have the great

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honor of getting to spend some time with Mickey or

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Minnie or Goofy or any of our amazing friends. And

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the family comes in, the kiddo goes up. They let's

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just say, they have an amazing interaction. Kiddo gets their

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picture taken. Immediately, I turned it. Whatever grown ups? Or

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with that and say, grown ups, you want to hop

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in when you say no, you think it's just saying

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no to a photo. What I see is you just

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told your child that Joy has an expiration date, that

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Wonder has an expiration date, that Magic has an expiration date.

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That Now I'm a grown up, I don't need to

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do the silly thing and get my You think it's

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just a picture that you're saying no to. It's not

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that big of a deal. It's a bigger deal than

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you think. And as I started to watch these interactions,

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and as I would talk to guests and have conversations

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and what are you celebrating? Tell me what's going on?

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And you know, let's get in the picture. I don't

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want to get in the picture. What are we doing? Oh?

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I don't need to all these dots of stuff that

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I have been talking about over the years started to

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converge and connect. And as I started talking about it

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on the internet, because that's what I do, that's just

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what I do. I just share what's ever happening in

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my life life on the internet, people started paying attention

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differently than they had before, because now I'm coming at

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it from a cast member, not a cast member that

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speaks for the company, just a cast member that notices,

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and that's a different perspective maybe than just a guest.

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For whatever reason. I don't know, it's just because I'm

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on the other side of the camera and I see

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and I have a different perspective. But people start paying

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attention to that, and it's just been a really interesting

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phenomenon to watch it sort of take off and grow,

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because again, you might be new to me, but I'm

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not new to this. But however, it brings people into

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the ecosystem of thinking about joy and understanding that it's

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not that complicated and much more in our control than

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we think it is. Then I'm happy for it.

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Julie. I don't know if you could tell, but I

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was getting choked up and emotional because what you were

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saying about the example we set for our kids. And

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that's a I think is visceral, and I think overlooked

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a lot of in a lot of cases, because there's

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a lot of reasons that somebody would be like, no,

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I don't need the photo with you know whoever, But I,

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as we shared, I was just there and I got

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my picture taken with Joy. And I have been chasing

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Joy for two years and I three years. Three years.

267
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I've been chasing Joy for three years. And I say

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that and I mean it in every way. I don't

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just mean like, I mean literal, I mean figurative, I

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mean philosophical, I mean spiritual, all of it. I've been

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chasing Joy for three years. Tried to find her at Upcot,

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couldn't find her at Upcot three years ago. So I

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finally found Joy this year at the Yes at the

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Pixelar Place. It was magical and amazing and like a

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full circle dream come true moment for me. But that's

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not the point. The point is then I went and

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saw Sully, and Sully was really fun. And then I like,

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then like I am on a roll now and I'm walking.

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Up incredible and then.

280
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Yes, yes, and then and then we were over at

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Hollywood Studios and there's Mando and the storm Trippers and

282
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all of it, and I'm just all in. And my

283
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kids are less. So I have two boys there are

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ten and twelve, and they have not ever really been

285
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into the Disney realm as much as I grew up

286
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an aerial girl. Okay, and Belle Ariel and Belle were

287
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my princesses. So I got to meet Joy, I got

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to meet Sully and we're walking out of Hollywood Studios

289
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and I am just like this mess of tears and

290
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happy and just like but like good tears, like happy,

291
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just all the things. And my ten year old son

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grabs my hand and he looks up at me and

293
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he goes, mom, I love that you're so childish. And

294
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I was like, oh, that could have hurt, that could

295
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have been like it reminds me of my friend Sharon,

296
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who just shared a story online about her six year

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old digging her face into her belly and saying, I

298
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love your squeehy, squishy, fat belly. I'm like, do I

299
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want to be called childish?

300
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Yes?

301
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Yes I do? Because you know what it was. It

302
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was the most magical moment for me because I realized that, Yes,

303
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I am putting that is the example that I am

304
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choosing to set for my kids, is that we have

305
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this unique chance to actually just feel the feelings and

306
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be happy and have the joy. And it does kind

307
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of take a little bit of like not caring what

308
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people think about you sometimes.

309
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So how I find that, Yeah, I find that really

310
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interesting too, because no one's thinking about you, right, Like

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if you're in line for Mickey, Goofy and Minnie. You're

312
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in line for Mickey, Goofy and Mini, as is everybody else,

313
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So no one's looking at you. They're looking at them,

314
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and you getting in the picture is what you're supposed

315
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to do. Could you just sit in lines to meet

316
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them for thirty minutes? Why are you not getting in

317
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the picture? Right? You know? It's so silly to me.

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I also noticed it's very often this is my mission

319
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that I'm on, because it's very often the grandma, Oh no,

320
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I won't get in the picture, Like, get in a

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freaking picture. Get in the picture. One hundred percent of

322
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the time. The person who whether it's the son or

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the daughter, but it's usually the daughter for whatever reason,

324
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it's usually the daughter whose mom is with them, says

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to me as I'm scanning. Thank you for having her

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do that, Thank you for getting her in, thank you

327
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for doing that. I'm like, why are we not getting

328
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in the picture? Grandma? You're here with your family, what

329
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are we doing? They want you in the picture. And

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here's what I want grown ups to understand. You think

331
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it's not that deep, it's just a picture. You think, oh,

332
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I'm sweaty, I don't look good. What the picture's not

333
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for you? It really is that deep. The picture's not

334
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for you. And you think it's not that big of

335
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a deal. But I'm telling you, in a nanosecond, you

336
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have just shown your child that you're too old to

337
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get in a picture with Mickey Mouse, which has just

338
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shown your child that at some point all outgrow this.

339
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You've just shown your child that you think it's just

340
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a picture. It's never just a picture. You think the

341
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pictures for you. It's never for you, it's for your kid.

342
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Because who hasn't been, you know, in that situation where

343
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you've lost someone and you're searching for every picture you

344
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can find of them, and they are never enough. No

345
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one will get to the end of their life and

346
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say I wish I took less pictures. No one will

347
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ever say that. No one will ever say that. So,

348
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you know, I use this opportunity, this little, tiny platform

349
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of capturing moments with people at Disney to notice and

350
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then kind of reflect out to people these bigger lessons

351
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that are happening in the world because I see every

352
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day people coming there to celebrate big and small, you know, retirement.

353
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One lady shirt on last week it was like, I'm

354
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celebrating retirement. I'm like, you graduation. She's like three years.

355
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I've been retired for three years. I'm still wearing my

356
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shirt and like, yes, you are a girl. I love

357
00:19:57.200 --> 00:19:59.680
it so much. Get it here, you know. Or it's

358
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cancer free, it's I had a couple that was probably

359
00:20:04.440 --> 00:20:07.440
their last trip because she's battling stage four cancer and

360
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they come to Disney to celebrate. You could go anywhere

361
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in the world and they come to Disney. That says

362
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something about this place that it's deeper than just the

363
00:20:17.720 --> 00:20:21.279
rides and the snacks and the music and the cartoons.

364
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There's something deeper happening here. And while people watch my

365
00:20:26.480 --> 00:20:30.119
content in the comments that will go all my next

366
00:20:30.119 --> 00:20:33.720
trips in twelve days, my next trips next year. What

367
00:20:33.799 --> 00:20:38.799
I'm working to do is get them to understand that

368
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this isn't just about Disney. This is truly about life,

369
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and Disney's just a microcosm. Disney is the laboratory that

370
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I happened to be in that has formed me. But

371
00:20:49.400 --> 00:20:52.799
it could apply to life. You know, if I'm teaching

372
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a group fitness class and I see that person that

373
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is standing in the back row, they don't want to

374
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be in the front row, and they're kind of going

375
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at about sixty percent instead of giving They're so worried

376
00:21:03.880 --> 00:21:06.160
about what everyone else is thinking. No one's watching them.

377
00:21:06.559 --> 00:21:09.160
It's the same concept as the person not getting in

378
00:21:09.160 --> 00:21:11.640
the picture of Disney. You know, all of these little

379
00:21:11.640 --> 00:21:15.200
bits and pieces that I happened to notice, the celebrations

380
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of everything, the participation in the joy. Yesterday, I was

381
00:21:19.839 --> 00:21:22.079
working yesterday and there was a family who came up

382
00:21:22.079 --> 00:21:26.519
and they had a little baby. And it's notoriously hard

383
00:21:26.559 --> 00:21:28.960
to get the little ones to look at you. You know,

384
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we're just trying to get hey, you don't need to smile.

385
00:21:31.279 --> 00:21:33.319
But if we could just get everybody's eyes putting at

386
00:21:33.359 --> 00:21:35.519
the camera for mom and dad BOYD, that would be awesome.

387
00:21:35.839 --> 00:21:37.799
I just immediately turned around to my line, I'm like,

388
00:21:38.000 --> 00:21:40.880
we're gonna need your help. Let's go. You know their

389
00:21:40.960 --> 00:21:43.319
name is, whatever their name is, and let's go. And

390
00:21:43.359 --> 00:21:46.440
now my line is participating trying to get the baby

391
00:21:46.480 --> 00:21:48.200
to look at them. How much more fun do you

392
00:21:48.240 --> 00:21:51.519
think they're waiting in line was because they participated in

393
00:21:51.559 --> 00:21:56.039
the joy. They absolutely took ownership in that picture. When

394
00:21:56.039 --> 00:21:58.880
he finally looked at the camera, they're like, yes, yes,

395
00:21:59.480 --> 00:22:01.319
they put it in the joy. They could have very

396
00:22:01.319 --> 00:22:04.119
easily decided not to. Now that is something you can

397
00:22:04.119 --> 00:22:06.599
take in the rest of your life. Where else can

398
00:22:06.640 --> 00:22:08.519
you participate in a joy? It's not just an aligne

399
00:22:08.559 --> 00:22:12.519
at Disney, But where else are you able to participate

400
00:22:12.519 --> 00:22:14.920
in the joy for other people when they're celebrating something,

401
00:22:15.480 --> 00:22:18.759
when you know you're out and about in the real world.

402
00:22:18.799 --> 00:22:21.920
Where else can you do that? Because I guarantee you

403
00:22:21.960 --> 00:22:26.200
the people who have lives that are more fun are

404
00:22:26.279 --> 00:22:26.839
creating that.

405
00:22:28.240 --> 00:22:30.960
So have you always created that joy for yourself? Like

406
00:22:31.160 --> 00:22:34.119
what was your younger self like, Like, what would you

407
00:22:34.240 --> 00:22:35.000
think of your life?

408
00:22:35.039 --> 00:22:38.440
Now? Well, I had a dad who noticed things. So

409
00:22:38.519 --> 00:22:43.160
I think my my tendency to notice came from my

410
00:22:43.279 --> 00:22:46.039
dad because he would you know, he would be the

411
00:22:46.039 --> 00:22:48.880
one out in the yard. I'd be like, hey, get

412
00:22:48.880 --> 00:22:50.960
out here and look at the sunset. You know, Hey,

413
00:22:51.240 --> 00:22:53.680
you know, look at the sunrise, or hey, you know whatever,

414
00:22:53.839 --> 00:22:56.599
or you know. They when they retired, they bought a

415
00:22:56.599 --> 00:22:59.920
house in Florida, close to Fort Myers, and he would say,

416
00:23:00.000 --> 00:23:02.799
out on the Llinois and he would be drinking his

417
00:23:02.880 --> 00:23:05.079
coffee and doing this little crossroord puzzle on the sudden

418
00:23:05.079 --> 00:23:07.400
would be coming in. He'd be like, just another day

419
00:23:07.440 --> 00:23:10.920
in paradise. Could not be more simple. A cup of coffee,

420
00:23:11.119 --> 00:23:15.559
a crossword puzzle, and the sun on allanni in Florida

421
00:23:16.079 --> 00:23:18.799
that he still felt for as long as he was there,

422
00:23:18.920 --> 00:23:21.880
that it was surreal that he was even still there

423
00:23:22.079 --> 00:23:24.160
from you know, where he came from a little tiny

424
00:23:24.160 --> 00:23:26.559
farm in the middle of Illinois to being able to

425
00:23:27.160 --> 00:23:28.839
be in Florida in the winter drink a cup of

426
00:23:28.880 --> 00:23:32.599
coffee and do a crossroord puzzle. And he would notice that.

427
00:23:33.240 --> 00:23:37.960
So I grew up watching him notice that, and so

428
00:23:38.079 --> 00:23:41.119
then I just noticed that, you know, and he would

429
00:23:41.160 --> 00:23:43.079
have he and I would have conversations about that. I'm like,

430
00:23:43.279 --> 00:23:45.799
look at the flowers growing up this wall. That's amazing,

431
00:23:45.880 --> 00:23:50.359
you know, so I grew up with that, and I

432
00:23:50.359 --> 00:23:52.839
I feel like I've passed that on to my daughters

433
00:23:52.880 --> 00:23:56.200
in some way. I think I've also passed it on

434
00:23:56.279 --> 00:23:59.279
to my husband, who I think notice is much more

435
00:23:59.319 --> 00:24:05.160
now because of living with me. But there's to me

436
00:24:06.839 --> 00:24:14.400
that is more accessible than gratitude. I think gratitude feels weighty.

437
00:24:15.920 --> 00:24:24.880
I think gratitude can breed complacency, but just noticing breeds awareness,

438
00:24:25.799 --> 00:24:30.880
and that brings intentionality, and that can breed joy. Because

439
00:24:31.000 --> 00:24:33.799
if I'm noticing the sunrise, I kind of want to

440
00:24:33.839 --> 00:24:36.000
notice it the next day too, and I kind of

441
00:24:36.000 --> 00:24:37.799
want to notice it the next day too, and I

442
00:24:37.839 --> 00:24:39.880
kind of want you know, I don't ever walk out

443
00:24:39.880 --> 00:24:42.720
of work with Space of Earth lit up and not

444
00:24:42.759 --> 00:24:45.319
turn around and go. Can't all believe I get to

445
00:24:45.359 --> 00:24:48.559
work here. I have been looking at Space of Earth

446
00:24:49.319 --> 00:24:52.200
at Epcot for as long as Spaceship Earth has been

447
00:24:52.240 --> 00:24:57.599
open at Epcot, and I still notice it. That to

448
00:24:57.720 --> 00:25:00.400
me feels less. I think gratitude can have such a

449
00:25:00.480 --> 00:25:03.599
heavy weight to it, and it can lead to this

450
00:25:03.640 --> 00:25:06.440
feeling of well, I should just be grateful for what

451
00:25:06.519 --> 00:25:11.079
I have. Maybe you can be, maybe you can also

452
00:25:11.119 --> 00:25:15.960
want more. And I think noticing and then letting that

453
00:25:16.960 --> 00:25:20.680
create more joy because the more joy you notice, the

454
00:25:20.680 --> 00:25:23.000
more joy you notice, it just kind of feeds on itself.

455
00:25:23.119 --> 00:25:26.079
It's like a flywheel. I think that feels less weighty

456
00:25:26.119 --> 00:25:29.960
and more accessible to people. So what your kiddo was

457
00:25:30.039 --> 00:25:35.400
noticing was you in joy? Yeah, enjoy and enjoying. He

458
00:25:35.519 --> 00:25:37.839
was noticing that. His word for it was childish because

459
00:25:37.839 --> 00:25:41.440
that's just a word that he knows. But he was

460
00:25:41.519 --> 00:25:44.759
just noticing you enjoy. He wasn't oh, I'm so grateful

461
00:25:44.880 --> 00:25:47.279
that my mom isn't joy. You know he was, and

462
00:25:47.319 --> 00:25:49.599
you're not, like, I'm so grateful that my son. No, No,

463
00:25:49.799 --> 00:25:51.599
we were just like, we just noticed. So we were

464
00:25:51.640 --> 00:25:53.920
having this moment. How amazing is that? Okay, Now, if

465
00:25:53.960 --> 00:25:56.720
you start to pay attention to that, I think you'll

466
00:25:56.759 --> 00:25:58.839
notice more of those moments in life. And I think

467
00:25:58.880 --> 00:26:01.559
life gets really cool when you notice more of those

468
00:26:01.559 --> 00:26:04.680
moments in life. And that doesn't mean the bad stuff's

469
00:26:04.680 --> 00:26:07.400
not happening, just helps you navigate the bad stuff.

470
00:26:07.960 --> 00:26:11.960
I was gonna say so yes, because I do think

471
00:26:12.039 --> 00:26:15.279
that you can. This is a skill that takes practice,

472
00:26:15.920 --> 00:26:18.680
and the more you what you said about, the more

473
00:26:18.720 --> 00:26:21.359
you do it does seem to it like a snope

474
00:26:21.440 --> 00:26:24.319
like flywheel or snowball or whatever. It seems to show

475
00:26:24.400 --> 00:26:27.680
up and start to become almost like, you know, we

476
00:26:27.759 --> 00:26:29.960
could start off as like a ninety nine percent hard,

477
00:26:30.039 --> 00:26:32.960
one percent joy, but like I feel like I'm running

478
00:26:33.039 --> 00:26:36.880
right now at about eighty twenty eighty percent joy twenty

479
00:26:36.920 --> 00:26:40.799
percent hard. And it's possible that both things exist at once.

480
00:26:41.359 --> 00:26:44.799
And sure you said something really cool about it being contagious,

481
00:26:44.839 --> 00:26:47.920
like your daughters have felt it, your husband's feeling it.

482
00:26:48.400 --> 00:26:50.200
And I think that that is one of the things

483
00:26:50.200 --> 00:26:54.240
that we underestimate is just how when we choose to

484
00:26:55.079 --> 00:26:59.359
notice and choose to essentially let that noticing light us

485
00:26:59.440 --> 00:27:03.559
up from the end side, we essentially illuminate everything around

486
00:27:03.640 --> 00:27:07.640
us in the most beautiful, contagious way. So, but you

487
00:27:07.680 --> 00:27:10.240
did say, you did say the truth, which is that

488
00:27:10.319 --> 00:27:13.960
those hard things still happen, and that's when things get

489
00:27:14.079 --> 00:27:17.720
very challenging, I think for people, because I have learned

490
00:27:18.119 --> 00:27:22.359
through again practice and diligence and discipline, that grief and

491
00:27:22.440 --> 00:27:27.720
joy can coexist. Yes, how though, like that is such

492
00:27:27.720 --> 00:27:31.000
a like we say yes, so confidently, I'm so confident,

493
00:27:31.039 --> 00:27:34.039
I'm so sure, But it's so to me. I want it.

494
00:27:34.079 --> 00:27:35.839
I want you to talk through that with me, because

495
00:27:35.880 --> 00:27:39.519
I feel like it's it's so it's easier for folks

496
00:27:39.559 --> 00:27:42.920
who have practiced and understand, but for people that are

497
00:27:42.960 --> 00:27:45.960
like listening to us, thinking we're a couple, you know, like,

498
00:27:46.400 --> 00:27:48.240
well kool aid are they drinking? You know, like and

499
00:27:48.240 --> 00:27:50.240
they're drinking the Disney kool aid And now you know,

500
00:27:50.440 --> 00:27:52.079
I guess we need to go to Disney Hunt, you know.

501
00:27:52.680 --> 00:27:55.200
But there there's how do you work through those hard

502
00:27:55.200 --> 00:28:00.400
things and recognize that those little things in the hard well?

503
00:28:00.519 --> 00:28:02.359
Number one, we make life much harder than it has

504
00:28:02.400 --> 00:28:04.799
to be. And number two, we have grief because we

505
00:28:04.839 --> 00:28:08.960
have joy. We have joy because we have grief. Yeah, period,

506
00:28:09.279 --> 00:28:14.799
like you know joy because you've had grief. You have

507
00:28:14.920 --> 00:28:18.119
grief because you have joy. It's really not that hard.

508
00:28:19.119 --> 00:28:23.839
I mean, we want to make it very woo wu psychoanalytical, hard, complicated, complex.

509
00:28:23.920 --> 00:28:26.279
I don't know why why do we want to make

510
00:28:26.319 --> 00:28:28.920
our life harder than it has to be? There are

511
00:28:28.960 --> 00:28:32.880
already hard situations in life. Why do we as humans

512
00:28:32.960 --> 00:28:35.519
want to make life harder for ourselves and for others?

513
00:28:35.599 --> 00:28:39.440
It's not that hard. You have joy, You notice joy

514
00:28:39.920 --> 00:28:45.480
because you've experienced grief. I have grief because I've experienced joy.

515
00:28:45.720 --> 00:28:48.079
The two are the same. There are two sides of

516
00:28:48.119 --> 00:28:51.880
the same coin. It really is that easy. It's not.

517
00:28:52.000 --> 00:28:55.640
Oh my gosh, how do I wake up and spew

518
00:28:55.960 --> 00:29:00.119
rainbows and unicorns and puppy dogs out my ears when

519
00:29:00.160 --> 00:29:02.279
the world feels like it's burning down around me? That's

520
00:29:02.319 --> 00:29:07.839
not no, no, no. You are experiencing challenge and grief

521
00:29:07.960 --> 00:29:11.200
over the hard stuff in life because you've experienced joy.

522
00:29:11.640 --> 00:29:16.880
Now what if you immerse yourself more deeply enjoy so

523
00:29:16.920 --> 00:29:20.720
that you feel like a better version of yourself? Are

524
00:29:20.759 --> 00:29:24.720
you now not more likely to do something to help

525
00:29:24.799 --> 00:29:29.200
the hard stuff. I can't do anything to change the

526
00:29:29.200 --> 00:29:34.480
world if I don't change me first period. So I

527
00:29:34.559 --> 00:29:37.079
can be a doom scroll and look at the world

528
00:29:37.160 --> 00:29:41.240
burning down around me. Or I can think, Okay, what

529
00:29:41.279 --> 00:29:45.079
can I do to get myself into the higher version

530
00:29:45.160 --> 00:29:47.839
of myself where I can actually do something in my

531
00:29:48.440 --> 00:29:54.359
teeny tiny, little infantesimal smidge of the world. What can

532
00:29:54.440 --> 00:29:59.920
I do? So? For example, this whole Bagel dog rest

533
00:30:00.440 --> 00:30:03.640
situation that has been going on with out of Wisconsin,

534
00:30:03.720 --> 00:30:06.519
with the two thousand dogs that were in the animal

535
00:30:06.559 --> 00:30:10.079
testing and all of that. Like, I can't watch any

536
00:30:10.079 --> 00:30:12.359
more video of it because I mean, we have a beagle, yes,

537
00:30:12.359 --> 00:30:15.440
but we're we love animals, we're dog owners. It makes

538
00:30:15.480 --> 00:30:17.759
my stomach turn. I can't do it. Now I can

539
00:30:17.799 --> 00:30:20.920
sit in that and I can think about that, and

540
00:30:21.920 --> 00:30:23.799
to be honest, I woke up a couple of mornings

541
00:30:24.839 --> 00:30:27.839
sad about it, like it really bothered me to my core.

542
00:30:28.359 --> 00:30:30.400
And I can sit in that, and I can doom

543
00:30:30.400 --> 00:30:35.039
scroll and I can watch that, or I can get

544
00:30:35.079 --> 00:30:38.039
myself into a higher level of myself. Okay, what can

545
00:30:38.079 --> 00:30:39.960
I personally do? I can't change the world, but I

546
00:30:40.000 --> 00:30:42.640
can change What can I personally do? Well? The first

547
00:30:42.640 --> 00:30:44.920
thing I knew is give more attention to my own dogs,

548
00:30:45.200 --> 00:30:48.200
love on my own dogs. Okay, what else can I

549
00:30:48.240 --> 00:30:50.440
do in my house? I can take a good look

550
00:30:50.519 --> 00:30:53.240
at in my house every single product I'm using? Does

551
00:30:53.240 --> 00:30:57.720
any of it have animal testing? Let me make a change. Okay,

552
00:30:57.759 --> 00:30:59.440
Now what else do I have? I have an Instagram

553
00:30:59.480 --> 00:31:01.960
account and email list. Now I can go on my

554
00:31:02.039 --> 00:31:04.279
Instagram account and my email list and I can talk

555
00:31:04.319 --> 00:31:09.319
about that. So in my teeny tiny little infantesmal, he said,

556
00:31:09.359 --> 00:31:13.480
the Internet, rather than doom scrolling I can make a

557
00:31:13.519 --> 00:31:18.039
difference rather than sitting and grief. I can get myself

558
00:31:18.039 --> 00:31:22.799
into a more a higher version of myself. Maybe it's

559
00:31:22.839 --> 00:31:26.559
not exactly joy, but it's a higher version of myself.

560
00:31:26.759 --> 00:31:29.359
And I can do something to make a difference. But

561
00:31:29.400 --> 00:31:31.400
I can't do that if I'm sitting over here just

562
00:31:31.519 --> 00:31:32.000
in grief.

563
00:31:33.759 --> 00:31:38.519
Do you ever use physical activity or movement to kind

564
00:31:38.519 --> 00:31:40.359
of jettison that into.

565
00:31:40.759 --> 00:31:42.920
I's a fitness instructor. I've been a finish instructor for

566
00:31:42.920 --> 00:31:43.640
twenty five years.

567
00:31:43.680 --> 00:31:45.279
Talk to me about it. So here's the thing, so

568
00:31:45.359 --> 00:31:48.880
quick Before You Forget is a personal development podcast aimed

569
00:31:48.880 --> 00:31:51.599
at helping people build their unreal life from the ground up,

570
00:31:51.799 --> 00:31:55.880
using tools like music, mindset, and movement to remember who

571
00:31:55.920 --> 00:31:57.960
they are while they build who they were meant to be.

572
00:31:58.480 --> 00:32:01.839
So we're talking my lane with the joy stuff. But you,

573
00:32:02.359 --> 00:32:05.960
I think, with your work at Disney and in your life,

574
00:32:06.279 --> 00:32:09.519
have managed to do the three those three things a lot.

575
00:32:09.799 --> 00:32:11.599
And I know that when you move your body, you

576
00:32:11.680 --> 00:32:14.119
change your mind. I know this, but talk to us

577
00:32:14.119 --> 00:32:16.000
about that like I because I know that when you

578
00:32:16.039 --> 00:32:19.880
when you actively are in that doom scrolling place, sometimes

579
00:32:19.880 --> 00:32:21.480
one of the best things you can do is go

580
00:32:21.519 --> 00:32:24.319
outside and touch some grass, you know, like so, like,

581
00:32:25.000 --> 00:32:27.319
how do you? How do you walk? Walk us through

582
00:32:27.359 --> 00:32:31.319
the movement part of how we lean into that mindset

583
00:32:31.400 --> 00:32:32.319
of noticing.

584
00:32:33.400 --> 00:32:38.039
Well, I think once again it's being made too complicated.

585
00:32:39.119 --> 00:32:43.079
I love it. It's it's let's make it simple, then, right,

586
00:32:43.440 --> 00:32:44.200
let's make it.

587
00:32:44.039 --> 00:32:45.359
It's really not that hard.

588
00:32:45.519 --> 00:32:45.720
Right.

589
00:32:46.640 --> 00:32:51.759
We are all grown ups, and sometimes we are all

590
00:32:51.799 --> 00:32:54.680
grown ups, and we all have agency over our lives,

591
00:32:55.359 --> 00:32:59.720
and we are all fully aware of when we are

592
00:32:59.720 --> 00:33:03.359
doing habits and activities that are not making us feel

593
00:33:03.359 --> 00:33:09.519
our best. Girls, boys, them's you are fully aware of

594
00:33:09.559 --> 00:33:12.319
when you are doing activities that are not helping you

595
00:33:12.319 --> 00:33:14.319
feel your best in your life. You are fully aware

596
00:33:14.359 --> 00:33:18.039
of that. You are fully in control of putting down

597
00:33:18.079 --> 00:33:21.200
your phone and going for a walk. Here's what you

598
00:33:21.240 --> 00:33:23.839
may not be aware of. You don't need to go

599
00:33:23.880 --> 00:33:28.839
run a marathon to feel better. Please stop the madness

600
00:33:29.440 --> 00:33:32.079
and just go walk around your block for ten minutes.

601
00:33:33.079 --> 00:33:35.960
And what will also help you do that is to

602
00:33:35.960 --> 00:33:40.480
get a dog. Go to your local rescue, do not

603
00:33:40.720 --> 00:33:44.119
buy one, adopt, don't chop, and go get a dog

604
00:33:44.160 --> 00:33:45.799
because you'll be forced to get outside and you'll be

605
00:33:45.839 --> 00:33:49.200
forced to think about something other than yourself. That's the key.

606
00:33:50.279 --> 00:33:54.400
You know, when you're doing activities that are not making

607
00:33:54.440 --> 00:33:56.759
you feel your best or leading to your best self,

608
00:33:56.799 --> 00:34:01.279
you know that. Let's not act like there are all

609
00:34:01.359 --> 00:34:04.440
kinds of people spending all kinds of money trying to

610
00:34:04.519 --> 00:34:07.359
keep you on every single app. Okay, there's a lot

611
00:34:07.400 --> 00:34:10.840
of money being spent to try to keep you in

612
00:34:10.880 --> 00:34:13.880
those places, because if they keep you in those places,

613
00:34:14.760 --> 00:34:18.000
you're not doing anything that can change the world. So

614
00:34:18.119 --> 00:34:22.000
number three, don't give them that power because you have

615
00:34:22.079 --> 00:34:25.000
agency over your life. And once you costively know, oh

616
00:34:25.039 --> 00:34:27.719
right right, there are people that are actively trying to

617
00:34:27.760 --> 00:34:29.239
keep you on this app. So I don't do anything

618
00:34:29.280 --> 00:34:31.280
productive with my life. I don't become a better person.

619
00:34:31.360 --> 00:34:33.239
Let me just put that down. Let me just put

620
00:34:33.280 --> 00:34:35.039
that down, and then I'm just gonna go out. I'm

621
00:34:35.039 --> 00:34:39.480
gonna go walk for ten minutes. It's really not that complicated.

622
00:34:39.639 --> 00:34:43.639
We have to stop making everything be There are things

623
00:34:43.679 --> 00:34:48.039
in life that are deep and complicated. Moving your body

624
00:34:48.239 --> 00:34:52.039
is not one of them. Moving your body is a

625
00:34:52.079 --> 00:34:55.960
ten minute walk. Oh you have you're in a wheelchair.

626
00:34:57.199 --> 00:35:00.960
You ten minutes with some hand weights, ten minutes with

627
00:35:01.000 --> 00:35:05.239
some stretches. Oh, you have an injury. Ten minutes doing

628
00:35:05.400 --> 00:35:08.599
some flexibility work that you can do. Moving your body

629
00:35:08.639 --> 00:35:13.440
is not that difficult. And like that flywheel, the more

630
00:35:13.480 --> 00:35:15.800
you move, the more you want to move because the

631
00:35:15.840 --> 00:35:20.199
more moving gets easier. Now, once again, I have an

632
00:35:20.280 --> 00:35:22.760
example of the opposite of that playing out in real

633
00:35:22.800 --> 00:35:26.760
time with my mom, who is not a mover, never

634
00:35:26.800 --> 00:35:33.280
been a mover, does not move, and she did at

635
00:35:33.280 --> 00:35:37.920
one point and then after my dad did not and

636
00:35:38.039 --> 00:35:43.079
she's in a wheelchair now and has been for a while.

637
00:35:43.440 --> 00:35:46.960
But I watched her movement completely decline over the past

638
00:35:47.000 --> 00:35:51.119
twenty five years, which meant her life quality completely declined

639
00:35:51.159 --> 00:35:53.960
over the last twenty five years, much of which was

640
00:35:54.000 --> 00:35:57.559
preventable simply by going for a walk. She just chose

641
00:35:57.599 --> 00:36:01.280
not to. She just chose not to, so now she can't.

642
00:36:02.039 --> 00:36:05.079
And that's what happens with movement. It is kind of

643
00:36:05.079 --> 00:36:07.440
a use it or lose it, but it doesn't. It's

644
00:36:07.480 --> 00:36:10.280
not use it and go be an ultra marathon her,

645
00:36:10.679 --> 00:36:14.239
it's just go for a walk. And you're so much

646
00:36:14.320 --> 00:36:19.719
more capable of hard stuff then you might think you are.

647
00:36:20.320 --> 00:36:23.719
And it's okay if something's uncomfortable. I had a good

648
00:36:23.719 --> 00:36:28.760
friend who was kind of resetting her nutrition. And you know,

649
00:36:28.800 --> 00:36:30.960
on day one she messaged me, she's like, it was

650
00:36:30.960 --> 00:36:33.360
like eleven am. She's like, I'm so hungry. I'm so hungry.

651
00:36:33.679 --> 00:36:38.280
Like A, you're probably not, but B it's okay if

652
00:36:38.280 --> 00:36:42.079
you are. It really is okay. If you are. You

653
00:36:42.159 --> 00:36:47.320
live in a country where you, giving your economic status

654
00:36:47.360 --> 00:36:50.000
and white privilege all that, you probably have access to

655
00:36:50.079 --> 00:36:53.599
food pretty quickly. You're you're trying to meet some health goals,

656
00:36:53.639 --> 00:36:56.119
so you're you're doing something different to try to reset

657
00:36:56.119 --> 00:36:58.840
your body. At eleven am, you're probably not hungry, you're

658
00:36:58.840 --> 00:37:01.400
probably dehydrated. B. And if you are a little bit hungry,

659
00:37:01.960 --> 00:37:05.079
it's okay. You can be a little bit uncomfortable. It

660
00:37:05.079 --> 00:37:06.960
can be a little uncomfortable to go for a walk,

661
00:37:07.000 --> 00:37:09.119
and you'll be okay because what you're doing is just

662
00:37:09.119 --> 00:37:11.360
acclimating your body to that movement. And the more you move,

663
00:37:11.639 --> 00:37:15.760
the better you feel, the clearer your mind gets. I mean,

664
00:37:15.960 --> 00:37:19.400
fight me on this, but your best thoughts will come

665
00:37:19.559 --> 00:37:21.920
in the shower. Why because you don't have your phone

666
00:37:22.000 --> 00:37:25.039
in the shower, and your brain can think and when

667
00:37:25.039 --> 00:37:28.360
you're moving your body, when you're moving your body, when

668
00:37:28.400 --> 00:37:33.559
you're in the shower anytime when you're not necessarily putting

669
00:37:33.599 --> 00:37:36.840
something into your brain, when you're just giving your brain

670
00:37:36.920 --> 00:37:40.639
some space to think. I try to give my brain

671
00:37:40.719 --> 00:37:43.159
space to think. On every walk. I also listen to

672
00:37:43.199 --> 00:37:45.800
a really great audiobook, So I love that. I love

673
00:37:45.840 --> 00:37:48.159
the continuity of an audiobook. But I also try to

674
00:37:48.199 --> 00:37:55.000
start every walk just me and me and Sawyer. You know,

675
00:37:55.119 --> 00:37:58.480
we just go out and the birds are chirping, and

676
00:37:59.360 --> 00:38:01.239
we listen to the words and we kind of notice

677
00:38:01.239 --> 00:38:03.119
things or happy. I try to give myself some some

678
00:38:03.199 --> 00:38:06.519
of that. There's no air pods in, no nothing, just

679
00:38:07.159 --> 00:38:11.039
some space for your brain to be before you put

680
00:38:11.079 --> 00:38:13.920
the air PUDs in and start putting the stuff in.

681
00:38:14.119 --> 00:38:17.880
So we just overall have to stop making everything so complicated.

682
00:38:18.639 --> 00:38:24.159
Yeah, I mean the you're so right about the ideas

683
00:38:24.280 --> 00:38:26.599
in the in the working out, like I work out

684
00:38:26.679 --> 00:38:29.480
an innoculus So it's one of those like VR headsets

685
00:38:29.519 --> 00:38:33.039
that covers my face and then I'm swinging targets like

686
00:38:33.119 --> 00:38:36.159
I've I've joked around that like I could, I could

687
00:38:36.239 --> 00:38:38.719
kick an alien's butt when the aliens turn on us,

688
00:38:38.719 --> 00:38:41.400
Like I'm ready, like I got those lightsabers on training

689
00:38:41.480 --> 00:38:44.280
and unlock because I've been doing Supernatural for four years

690
00:38:44.679 --> 00:38:47.480
and it's how I've changed my whole world. I've changed

691
00:38:47.519 --> 00:38:51.760
my whole mindset around movement because it's been life changing

692
00:38:51.760 --> 00:38:53.920
for me, and I get so many good ideas that

693
00:38:53.960 --> 00:38:56.000
get lost in that thing headset because then the second

694
00:38:56.039 --> 00:38:58.239
the headset comes off, I try to try to like

695
00:38:58.280 --> 00:39:00.960
care for it all, and there's capturing it all. But

696
00:39:01.840 --> 00:39:04.039
then the world doesn't need all the ties crazy idea,

697
00:39:04.039 --> 00:39:07.239
it's just some of them. But no, I appreciate you

698
00:39:07.280 --> 00:39:11.079
walking us through, you know, and honestly level setting a

699
00:39:11.079 --> 00:39:13.440
little bit, like it doesn't have to be so complicated,

700
00:39:13.480 --> 00:39:16.039
and we make it so complicated, And why why do

701
00:39:16.079 --> 00:39:16.519
we do that?

702
00:39:16.679 --> 00:39:19.159
Like we know, I think I think it's an out.

703
00:39:19.280 --> 00:39:21.440
I think we're looking for an out for some reason.

704
00:39:21.679 --> 00:39:25.039
We're looking for an out. And so then the question

705
00:39:25.079 --> 00:39:26.559
you have to ask yourself is why do you want

706
00:39:26.559 --> 00:39:30.400
an out from making your life better? Why? Why is that?

707
00:39:31.239 --> 00:39:33.840
Why would you want to We all know people who

708
00:39:33.840 --> 00:39:36.239
are like that, We all know people who play the victim.

709
00:39:36.480 --> 00:39:38.920
We probably have them in our families, and if you don't,

710
00:39:39.000 --> 00:39:42.000
it could be used. So it's not a gut checked

711
00:39:42.039 --> 00:39:44.880
yourself because we all know people who are like that,

712
00:39:46.360 --> 00:39:50.880
Why do you want an out of creating the best

713
00:39:51.119 --> 00:39:53.519
life that you possibly can for yourself because you don't

714
00:39:53.559 --> 00:39:56.199
get a duel over on this. Yeah, this is not

715
00:39:56.280 --> 00:39:59.719
a dress rehearsal in any way, no matter what you believe,

716
00:39:59.760 --> 00:40:03.800
it's out a dress rehearsal. So I just don't understand

717
00:40:03.800 --> 00:40:08.679
why we want to make our life harder than it

718
00:40:08.719 --> 00:40:10.960
is when we know that there are already a pieces

719
00:40:11.000 --> 00:40:14.280
of life that are hard that we can't control, that

720
00:40:14.320 --> 00:40:15.199
we cannot control.

721
00:40:15.440 --> 00:40:18.400
Yeah, that's massive too, So understanding what we can and

722
00:40:18.440 --> 00:40:19.079
can control.

723
00:40:19.119 --> 00:40:21.599
But take that back to Disney too, Like, take that

724
00:40:21.639 --> 00:40:25.280
back to Disney and the guests that come in to

725
00:40:25.360 --> 00:40:30.119
the park. The guest that comes in wearing the most

726
00:40:30.199 --> 00:40:33.360
expensive day Ever shirt, I'm going to tell you right

727
00:40:33.400 --> 00:40:37.320
now has a less magical day than the than the

728
00:40:37.320 --> 00:40:39.440
guests who comes in wearing best Day Ever shirt. I'm

729
00:40:39.480 --> 00:40:41.920
just gonna tell you, I've seen it happen. But when

730
00:40:41.960 --> 00:40:45.519
you come into the park already mad about the heat,

731
00:40:46.360 --> 00:40:51.360
it's Florida right already mad about the crowds. Orlando is

732
00:40:51.360 --> 00:40:54.280
at an all time high for visitor capacity right now

733
00:40:54.320 --> 00:40:56.960
in twenty twenty six, if you're already mad about the heat,

734
00:40:57.000 --> 00:40:59.119
You're already mad about the crowds, you're already mad about

735
00:40:59.119 --> 00:41:02.159
the money, already paid to be there. Why are you

736
00:41:02.320 --> 00:41:07.480
mad about it? Now? Your day has been decided for you,

737
00:41:07.519 --> 00:41:11.199
because that's how you're walking into the park. That's no

738
00:41:11.360 --> 00:41:14.079
different than any other day that you wake up in

739
00:41:14.119 --> 00:41:18.480
your regular, everyday life. If you wake up already mad

740
00:41:18.519 --> 00:41:22.119
about what's happening in the world, already convinced you can't

741
00:41:22.159 --> 00:41:27.840
do anything about it, already doom scrolling, already complaining, that's

742
00:41:27.840 --> 00:41:30.679
how your day's going to go. But the guests who

743
00:41:30.679 --> 00:41:34.320
come in and be like, Okay, it's hot and it's crowded,

744
00:41:35.440 --> 00:41:37.639
and I'm not going to see and do everything, because

745
00:41:37.639 --> 00:41:40.199
that's part of the magic of Disney is that it's

746
00:41:40.199 --> 00:41:42.159
designed so that you won't, so that you'll come back.

747
00:41:42.199 --> 00:41:44.400
Of course, there's always something new. My husband, I've been

748
00:41:44.400 --> 00:41:48.599
coming forever. We saw something new just the other It

749
00:41:48.679 --> 00:41:52.400
just happens all the time. You know, those the people

750
00:41:52.400 --> 00:41:54.840
who will have the most magical time, those are also

751
00:41:54.880 --> 00:41:57.079
the people who will have the most magic in their

752
00:41:57.119 --> 00:42:00.440
life because they've just decided, Okay, I already know it's hot,

753
00:42:00.519 --> 00:42:02.639
let me figure out how I'm going to manage this.

754
00:42:03.199 --> 00:42:05.480
I already know it's going to be crowded, Okay, how

755
00:42:05.480 --> 00:42:08.960
am I going to manage this? And already going into

756
00:42:09.360 --> 00:42:12.599
the visit at the park, but also already taking that

757
00:42:12.679 --> 00:42:16.760
into your life, your day, your life. It's so much better.

758
00:42:17.039 --> 00:42:18.079
It's so much better.

759
00:42:19.400 --> 00:42:21.559
And so much more fun with people we care about

760
00:42:21.599 --> 00:42:25.280
around us. So I talk a lot about my yellow

761
00:42:25.280 --> 00:42:28.559
brick Road on the show, where I believe that I've

762
00:42:28.639 --> 00:42:30.719
kind of just been walking on this yellow brick road

763
00:42:30.760 --> 00:42:33.159
and God keeps laying down the bricks and I keep

764
00:42:33.239 --> 00:42:35.760
showing up. And the thing that makes the yellow brick

765
00:42:35.840 --> 00:42:38.480
road really fun for me is when friends and family

766
00:42:38.519 --> 00:42:42.880
and such show up alongside me. So I'm curious that

767
00:42:43.039 --> 00:42:46.039
because you have the energy, and because you have the enthusiasm,

768
00:42:46.119 --> 00:42:48.960
and because you have all the joy, who are the

769
00:42:49.000 --> 00:42:51.840
people that helped you believe that you could keep walking

770
00:42:51.960 --> 00:42:55.199
your version of the yellow brick road as you have.

771
00:42:57.599 --> 00:42:57.639
Me?

772
00:42:59.400 --> 00:43:07.199
Amen? Yes, you, because you decide how I did? I.

773
00:43:08.039 --> 00:43:10.079
You know, I'm sure most people say their parents. I

774
00:43:10.119 --> 00:43:15.360
can't say that necessarily. I would say that I would

775
00:43:15.360 --> 00:43:18.960
say that my dad, more than my mom, certainly influenced

776
00:43:18.960 --> 00:43:21.679
me and believed in me, but not of a generation

777
00:43:21.800 --> 00:43:25.519
to necessarily verbalize that. You know, that was an undercurrent,

778
00:43:25.840 --> 00:43:31.840
but it certainly wasn't verbal. Did he show it in

779
00:43:31.920 --> 00:43:35.280
how he showed up to everything one did? I think

780
00:43:35.280 --> 00:43:38.039
he believed in me, valued what I did, and supported

781
00:43:38.039 --> 00:43:40.760
me one percent because he showed up physically. It just

782
00:43:40.800 --> 00:43:43.159
wasn't like verbalized all the time. So I would say,

783
00:43:43.159 --> 00:43:46.440
I would say my dad, and then different mentors throughout

784
00:43:46.480 --> 00:43:50.159
my life at different little seasons in life, you know,

785
00:43:50.320 --> 00:43:54.639
saying or giving me the the pep talk or the

786
00:43:54.639 --> 00:43:56.800
words or the wisdom or the tools or whatever that

787
00:43:56.840 --> 00:43:59.639
I might have needed at that one moment in life.

788
00:44:00.639 --> 00:44:04.639
You know, life's a group project. No one's doing anything

789
00:44:04.679 --> 00:44:08.079
on their own. Life is absolutely a group project. But

790
00:44:08.320 --> 00:44:11.360
you have to take the stuff that you are offered

791
00:44:11.400 --> 00:44:16.039
along the way and do something with it. So I

792
00:44:16.079 --> 00:44:19.119
don't know. I think some of it's just DNA.

793
00:44:19.280 --> 00:44:23.360
Yeah, that's fair, And it's just DNA and deciding that

794
00:44:23.480 --> 00:44:26.639
you are worthy, which is for whatever reason, women in

795
00:44:26.679 --> 00:44:29.159
particular struggle with that a ton It is.

796
00:44:29.559 --> 00:44:33.119
Because we live in a patriarchy.

797
00:44:33.280 --> 00:44:35.119
My head went to a Taylor Swift song. I need

798
00:44:35.159 --> 00:44:42.320
to redirect myself because it's you're right, And I wonder

799
00:44:42.480 --> 00:44:44.320
how we can get better at it because I know that,

800
00:44:44.440 --> 00:44:46.920
like self belief is almost like a it's its own

801
00:44:47.000 --> 00:44:50.199
kind of muscle, and you need to start practicing that

802
00:44:50.519 --> 00:44:54.679
to actually, like, I believe in myself now. But three

803
00:44:54.760 --> 00:44:57.920
years ago, I would have thought that today me was

804
00:44:58.159 --> 00:45:01.119
cuckoo and like what did she doing? Like she's wearing

805
00:45:01.199 --> 00:45:03.400
that sweater? You know, Like I would have been analyzing

806
00:45:03.440 --> 00:45:07.119
everything about myself three years ago. And that stems back

807
00:45:07.159 --> 00:45:09.719
to that whole issue of us not being enough. So

808
00:45:09.760 --> 00:45:12.880
how do we decide to be enough? Like it's it's

809
00:45:12.920 --> 00:45:15.159
not like I know, it's I don't want to overcomplicate

810
00:45:15.159 --> 00:45:17.599
it because a lot of what we're saying seems very

811
00:45:18.320 --> 00:45:20.639
obvious to us. But I know that there are people

812
00:45:20.719 --> 00:45:23.360
that that's where they're getting stuck in all of this,

813
00:45:23.519 --> 00:45:26.880
because if they're not enough, why do they deserve joy?

814
00:45:26.960 --> 00:45:29.760
If they're not enough, why do they even need to

815
00:45:29.760 --> 00:45:30.400
move their body?

816
00:45:30.440 --> 00:45:30.599
You know?

817
00:45:30.679 --> 00:45:32.920
Like, so, how do you get to the root of

818
00:45:33.400 --> 00:45:37.440
that issue in particularly knowing that you've worked with women

819
00:45:37.519 --> 00:45:38.159
so much.

820
00:45:38.639 --> 00:45:41.199
Well, I think that's a debilitating issue in someone's life

821
00:45:41.239 --> 00:45:44.239
that is for a licensed therapist to address. That's not

822
00:45:44.320 --> 00:45:47.320
for some rando girl on the internet on a podcast

823
00:45:47.599 --> 00:45:50.320
to give you life advice about you know, I think

824
00:45:50.360 --> 00:45:54.159
that that's that's some therapy, and that's some intentional personal

825
00:45:54.159 --> 00:45:57.079
growth work, and that's that is doing the work yourself.

826
00:45:57.119 --> 00:46:00.199
That's really what life is, doing the work yourself, find

827
00:46:00.280 --> 00:46:02.920
your generational baggage, going to therapy and figuring that out,

828
00:46:03.000 --> 00:46:05.360
doing personal growth on the daily on your own, really

829
00:46:05.400 --> 00:46:09.360
doing that gritty in our work that helps you shift

830
00:46:09.400 --> 00:46:13.719
your mindsets. And while podcasts can be a tool, you

831
00:46:13.840 --> 00:46:16.320
still got to do the other work, you know, the

832
00:46:16.679 --> 00:46:19.840
from a licensed person who you know has more tools

833
00:46:19.840 --> 00:46:23.079
than I do. Because I work so much with moms,

834
00:46:23.119 --> 00:46:27.559
because I am a mom, because I see moms all

835
00:46:27.599 --> 00:46:31.360
the time at the parks, I've always thought to myself,

836
00:46:33.239 --> 00:46:37.159
I don't get to tell my girls that they can

837
00:46:37.480 --> 00:46:40.960
go after any goals, or dream any dreams, or be

838
00:46:41.039 --> 00:46:43.679
anything that they want to be if they're not seeing

839
00:46:43.760 --> 00:46:47.760
me do that to some degree in my own life.

840
00:46:47.880 --> 00:46:50.320
I don't get the right to tell them to do

841
00:46:50.400 --> 00:46:53.960
that because I would be a liar to them, I

842
00:46:53.960 --> 00:46:57.920
would be a hypocrite to them. Right again, I saw

843
00:46:57.960 --> 00:47:00.480
that with my own mom, who would always give advice

844
00:47:00.519 --> 00:47:04.880
about college. She never went to college, so it didn't

845
00:47:04.920 --> 00:47:07.559
make sense to me that she was giving me advice

846
00:47:07.599 --> 00:47:10.840
about college when she never went had that experience herself.

847
00:47:10.960 --> 00:47:13.159
But my dad did so I could listen to My

848
00:47:13.239 --> 00:47:15.679
brother did so I could listen to them and have

849
00:47:15.840 --> 00:47:18.199
them kind of inform me on some of that, and

850
00:47:18.199 --> 00:47:20.360
that made a little bit more sense to me. I

851
00:47:20.440 --> 00:47:23.039
can't I could never look at my girls in the

852
00:47:23.039 --> 00:47:24.880
eye and say you can do anything you want to

853
00:47:24.880 --> 00:47:28.480
in this world if they didn't see me doing something

854
00:47:28.760 --> 00:47:31.639
like that too. And I think that's where moms in

855
00:47:31.679 --> 00:47:34.440
particular get off track. They have children, they think their

856
00:47:34.480 --> 00:47:37.400
life then so they think their lives, their lives get

857
00:47:38.000 --> 00:47:41.039
enveloped to get absorbed by their children, and now they

858
00:47:41.079 --> 00:47:42.840
start to live through their children. And then their children

859
00:47:42.960 --> 00:47:44.800
go off to college and live their own lives as

860
00:47:44.800 --> 00:47:48.599
they're supposed to as the mom did to get married

861
00:47:48.639 --> 00:47:51.199
and have them in the first place, and they don't

862
00:47:51.199 --> 00:47:53.000
know what to do with themselves because they become so

863
00:47:53.079 --> 00:47:57.199
absorbed in their own children. We are human beings before

864
00:47:57.239 --> 00:48:02.079
we're anything else in the world. For your a partner,

865
00:48:03.079 --> 00:48:07.920
an employee, a cast member, a parent, anything else you do,

866
00:48:08.119 --> 00:48:10.320
you're a human being, and you probably had goals and dreams,

867
00:48:10.400 --> 00:48:11.840
and you probably have stuff you did as a kid

868
00:48:11.880 --> 00:48:14.559
that you thought was pretty cool. There's no reason why

869
00:48:14.599 --> 00:48:17.679
you can't tap back into that at any point in

870
00:48:17.719 --> 00:48:24.280
your life. The worthiness issue, it's very much a female thing,

871
00:48:25.320 --> 00:48:28.079
because I'm going to tell you that I don't my

872
00:48:28.199 --> 00:48:32.039
husband ever fast noself that question. So it's very much

873
00:48:32.039 --> 00:48:35.519
a female thing. The mom guilt. We made that up.

874
00:48:35.760 --> 00:48:38.960
My husband's never in the once in his entire life

875
00:48:38.960 --> 00:48:41.320
said dad guilt. Never once. We made that up to

876
00:48:41.360 --> 00:48:43.760
make each other feel bad, like we needed more of that.

877
00:48:44.400 --> 00:48:46.239
You know, at some point there just seems to be

878
00:48:46.280 --> 00:48:50.239
a decision that you're simply not participating in that narrative anymore,

879
00:48:50.559 --> 00:48:53.320
because if you don't want your children to then you

880
00:48:53.400 --> 00:48:56.280
have to say it has to stop somewhere. I don't

881
00:48:56.320 --> 00:48:59.559
want my girls to continue to carry the generational baggage

882
00:48:59.599 --> 00:49:01.840
that I have. Care Will I give them some? Of

883
00:49:01.880 --> 00:49:04.400
course I will, because that's just what that's just sort

884
00:49:04.400 --> 00:49:06.239
of the that's just what happens. Do I hope with

885
00:49:06.280 --> 00:49:08.719
every fiber of my being that it's lighter for them.

886
00:49:08.800 --> 00:49:11.400
I sure do because of the work that I have done.

887
00:49:11.679 --> 00:49:14.920
I hope and wish that it would be lighter for them.

888
00:49:15.360 --> 00:49:21.280
I got gritty and have done some hard, gritty, frictiony

889
00:49:21.599 --> 00:49:24.400
work to lighten the load of them and been really

890
00:49:24.440 --> 00:49:28.079
honest with them around like, this is what I'm going through,

891
00:49:28.400 --> 00:49:30.719
this is what I'm experiencing, this is the baggage that

892
00:49:30.760 --> 00:49:33.199
I have. Here's what I'm trying to do. Like I'm

893
00:49:33.239 --> 00:49:36.360
in therapy and I'm telling them about it because I

894
00:49:36.440 --> 00:49:39.000
want them to understand that I can't look at them

895
00:49:39.039 --> 00:49:40.960
and tell them to do X Y Z if I'm

896
00:49:40.960 --> 00:49:44.800
not doing that too. So if there's no other motivation

897
00:49:45.159 --> 00:49:51.039
in your life that is that's strong, strong enough where

898
00:49:51.079 --> 00:49:53.440
you like, look at your children, Like, if you are

899
00:49:53.519 --> 00:49:58.119
not reason enough to believe you're worthy, look at your children.

900
00:49:58.119 --> 00:50:00.639
If you don't have children, look at your family, Look

901
00:50:00.760 --> 00:50:06.159
around you, at the world. Do something outside of the world.

902
00:50:06.480 --> 00:50:10.000
Newsflash is not wrong around you. And I think that's

903
00:50:10.039 --> 00:50:12.679
another piece where we get caught up. I just had

904
00:50:12.840 --> 00:50:17.480
a girl someone DM me on Instagram and she said

905
00:50:17.679 --> 00:50:20.119
I was talking about Mother's Day yesterday and just saying

906
00:50:20.159 --> 00:50:21.800
that is kind of a weird day for me. This.

907
00:50:23.320 --> 00:50:25.280
Her message to me was, Oh, I'm so glad you

908
00:50:25.360 --> 00:50:27.719
articulated this. I thought I was the only one who

909
00:50:27.800 --> 00:50:32.760
felt that. Girl, there are eight billion people on this planet,

910
00:50:33.440 --> 00:50:37.320
eight billion, and you think you're the only one that

911
00:50:37.440 --> 00:50:39.960
has issues. I would talk about empty nesting and how

912
00:50:40.000 --> 00:50:43.480
hard it was for me to transition to empty nesting message.

913
00:50:43.480 --> 00:50:46.719
After me, I thought I was the only one a

914
00:50:46.719 --> 00:50:49.840
lot of eight billion people on the planet, you're the

915
00:50:49.920 --> 00:50:55.239
only one. So when we just get so insulated and

916
00:50:55.840 --> 00:50:59.559
isolated and think about ourselves and we become the center

917
00:50:59.599 --> 00:51:03.719
of our universe, that's what happens is I'm not worthy

918
00:51:03.880 --> 00:51:06.679
or I don't have enough for no one else in

919
00:51:06.679 --> 00:51:09.599
my life, so hard, no one else is going through this.

920
00:51:09.760 --> 00:51:11.719
And when you open your eyes and your heart and

921
00:51:11.760 --> 00:51:15.199
you look around, my goodness, the stories that are out there,

922
00:51:15.840 --> 00:51:19.320
the stories that are out there that will help you

923
00:51:19.719 --> 00:51:23.960
have perspective on your own and realize when you're talking

924
00:51:23.960 --> 00:51:26.519
about worthiness, there are far less qualified people out in

925
00:51:26.559 --> 00:51:32.199
the world, doing far more challenging things than any of

926
00:51:32.280 --> 00:51:34.280
us are, simply because they decided that they were just

927
00:51:34.280 --> 00:51:35.800
going to go out and do it it, just got

928
00:51:35.800 --> 00:51:37.719
out of their own way and just went out and

929
00:51:37.880 --> 00:51:41.679
did it. So I don't know if that answers the question,

930
00:51:41.760 --> 00:51:44.039
but it's just we have to get out of our

931
00:51:44.079 --> 00:51:46.320
own way. We have to stop thinking we're the center

932
00:51:46.360 --> 00:51:48.400
of the universe. We have to stop everything, stop thinking

933
00:51:48.440 --> 00:51:51.119
everything is so deep and so hard and so challenging

934
00:51:51.559 --> 00:51:57.920
for us, and realize everyone's carrying baggage, everyone's got a story.

935
00:51:58.000 --> 00:51:59.880
I say that about the Disney people all the time.

936
00:52:00.719 --> 00:52:04.280
Everyone bought a ticket, Everyone's got a story, Everyone gets

937
00:52:04.280 --> 00:52:07.000
a picture with the character, everyone gets as much time

938
00:52:07.039 --> 00:52:09.280
as I need to give them to get their picture taken,

939
00:52:09.519 --> 00:52:11.760
because everyone bought a ticket. Where everyone bought a ticket

940
00:52:11.800 --> 00:52:14.599
to be here on the Earth today, and they have

941
00:52:14.760 --> 00:52:17.320
baggage and they've got a story. And if we stop

942
00:52:17.360 --> 00:52:19.920
thinking we're the only ones with that and start opening

943
00:52:20.000 --> 00:52:23.559
up and connecting with those stories on the planet, I think, wow,

944
00:52:23.639 --> 00:52:27.000
that's such a lightning of the load for us, and

945
00:52:27.039 --> 00:52:29.679
we start to realize, you know, maybe it's just really

946
00:52:29.679 --> 00:52:31.920
not that complicated. Maybe I can just go out there

947
00:52:31.920 --> 00:52:33.440
and do some things.

948
00:52:33.880 --> 00:52:36.159
Well, thank you for sharing that, though, because I think that,

949
00:52:36.639 --> 00:52:38.840
you know, people need reminding that we're not alone in

950
00:52:38.880 --> 00:52:40.880
any of this, and we all have the gift of

951
00:52:40.880 --> 00:52:44.239
connection to more people than we realize. So it's it's

952
00:52:44.639 --> 00:52:48.280
and the healing that can happen when you find when

953
00:52:48.320 --> 00:52:50.679
you figure it out. No, you're not alone, and there

954
00:52:50.679 --> 00:52:53.480
are people out there just like you, and go get

955
00:52:53.519 --> 00:52:56.760
them because they understand so deeply at a level. That's so,

956
00:52:57.239 --> 00:53:01.480
you know, that's different. So how old are you daughters?

957
00:53:02.280 --> 00:53:08.039
Jenna just turned thirty? What Josie is twenty seven? And

958
00:53:08.199 --> 00:53:11.159
Jesse's twenty four? I don't know how that happened.

959
00:53:11.159 --> 00:53:12.599
But here don't know how that happened. I mean, I

960
00:53:12.599 --> 00:53:14.199
have the ten and twelve since they're going to be

961
00:53:14.280 --> 00:53:17.880
twenty next week, and it's crazy. So what have they

962
00:53:17.920 --> 00:53:21.719
taught you about joy and life and noticing that you

963
00:53:22.159 --> 00:53:24.159
didn't already know before you were a mom?

964
00:53:24.840 --> 00:53:28.639
They teach They teach me some. They teach me every day.

965
00:53:29.159 --> 00:53:34.719
What they teach me is about the world. They teach

966
00:53:34.760 --> 00:53:40.480
me about the world. They teach me about different perspectives,

967
00:53:40.719 --> 00:53:46.079
different ways to look at something, issues, to be aware of.

968
00:53:48.280 --> 00:53:50.679
You know, the conversations that I have with my daughters

969
00:53:51.360 --> 00:53:55.840
I've never had with my mom or my dad, you know,

970
00:53:55.920 --> 00:54:01.760
to be fair, the conversations that we have, and sometimes

971
00:54:01.760 --> 00:54:07.960
they're uncomfortable, you know, as I'm learning, because you know,

972
00:54:08.000 --> 00:54:13.559
I do try to remind them every day is my

973
00:54:13.679 --> 00:54:19.639
first day being a parent to a daughter who's thirty one,

974
00:54:19.679 --> 00:54:22.239
and have many like every day is my first day

975
00:54:22.280 --> 00:54:24.800
on the planet too, you know, it's their first day,

976
00:54:24.800 --> 00:54:27.639
it's also my first day. And every time when they

977
00:54:27.679 --> 00:54:29.159
were younger, you know, and they would have a birthday,

978
00:54:29.159 --> 00:54:31.920
I'm like, first time parenting a fifteen year old, So

979
00:54:32.119 --> 00:54:34.239
we're both going to figure this out together, you know.

980
00:54:35.119 --> 00:54:39.639
And I've tried to remind them that that, you know,

981
00:54:40.320 --> 00:54:42.239
I was, I was a pretty strict parent when they

982
00:54:42.239 --> 00:54:45.880
were young. Would not change that. And I think that

983
00:54:46.039 --> 00:54:49.159
even though I was very strict, they would agree that

984
00:54:49.159 --> 00:54:51.960
that kept them out of trouble and kept them safe.

985
00:54:52.000 --> 00:54:54.559
I was a very strict parent, but nobody knows what

986
00:54:54.559 --> 00:54:57.880
they're doing. And I would try to, you know, say

987
00:54:57.920 --> 00:54:59.880
to them, I don't know what. On the days where

988
00:54:59.920 --> 00:55:01.239
I really didn't know what I'm doing, or if I

989
00:55:01.280 --> 00:55:03.079
was having a bad day, I would try to be

990
00:55:03.119 --> 00:55:06.400
really honest and just go, I'm having a bad day today,

991
00:55:06.800 --> 00:55:10.320
so could we maybe not yell in the backseat, you know,

992
00:55:10.320 --> 00:55:12.760
And I would try to like verbalize that to them,

993
00:55:12.800 --> 00:55:16.000
So I wasn't I didn't get that right every time.

994
00:55:16.280 --> 00:55:19.400
Please don't get that twisted. But I tried to do

995
00:55:19.440 --> 00:55:21.440
that because I didn't have that growing up. So I

996
00:55:21.480 --> 00:55:25.679
tried to do that because I didn't have that. They

997
00:55:25.880 --> 00:55:33.960
just bring my attention to everything that I didn't have

998
00:55:34.079 --> 00:55:37.920
any point of reference to before. Everything they did. Stephen

999
00:55:37.920 --> 00:55:41.079
talking about like the activities that they did every time

1000
00:55:41.079 --> 00:55:45.679
they chose an activity, color guard, marching band, show choir, ballet,

1001
00:55:45.800 --> 00:55:48.559
every time they chosen me, I'm like, okay, I'm learning

1002
00:55:48.559 --> 00:55:50.519
about this now, you know. And now that was a

1003
00:55:50.559 --> 00:55:53.000
whole new world that I got to immerse myself in. Well,

1004
00:55:53.039 --> 00:55:55.119
all that then began to inform me who I was,

1005
00:55:55.159 --> 00:55:57.639
not just as a parent, but as a human, you know.

1006
00:55:57.760 --> 00:56:00.280
And then you would travel and they would notice stuff

1007
00:56:00.320 --> 00:56:02.639
when we would travel, and then that start to inform you. So,

1008
00:56:03.400 --> 00:56:09.400
I mean, my daughters are so ridiculously smart. They're just

1009
00:56:09.519 --> 00:56:13.880
brilliant young women who are doing brilliant things. And I

1010
00:56:13.920 --> 00:56:17.639
am so glad every day that they keep me around

1011
00:56:17.719 --> 00:56:20.119
because I just I learned so much from them, just

1012
00:56:20.239 --> 00:56:26.440
about the world, you know, and different and they've certainly

1013
00:56:26.519 --> 00:56:30.760
had a much Even though I traveled as a child

1014
00:56:30.840 --> 00:56:33.440
some because my parents were older, they've had a much

1015
00:56:33.440 --> 00:56:38.480
more expansive childhood and young adult than I ever had,

1016
00:56:39.199 --> 00:56:43.400
and just their worldviews and stuff that they know. And

1017
00:56:43.440 --> 00:56:46.119
if I have questions or thoughts, you know, I'll go

1018
00:56:46.159 --> 00:56:47.880
to them like, hey, what do you know about this?

1019
00:56:47.960 --> 00:56:50.400
And then we have this conversation about it. I'm like, Okay,

1020
00:56:50.440 --> 00:56:51.800
good to know. Let me do a little bit more

1021
00:56:51.920 --> 00:56:57.559
research or whatever. And I think they they appreciate I

1022
00:56:57.559 --> 00:56:59.599
think I don't know that they would be verbalized at

1023
00:56:59.639 --> 00:57:02.159
but I think appreciate that that they have a mom

1024
00:57:02.199 --> 00:57:10.239
who's willing to listen and learn, who doesn't say here's

1025
00:57:10.280 --> 00:57:13.559
what I think you should be doing, or here's what

1026
00:57:13.599 --> 00:57:19.079
I here's the rule or whatever, just someone who's willing

1027
00:57:19.119 --> 00:57:21.599
to listen and learn from them.

1028
00:57:21.719 --> 00:57:23.400
Well, there's a song you need to listen to with

1029
00:57:23.480 --> 00:57:25.719
them by Alex Warren. I don't know if you've maybe

1030
00:57:25.760 --> 00:57:27.639
you've heard of it, but it's called first Time on

1031
00:57:27.679 --> 00:57:31.199
Earth and it's about that. It's about how when you're

1032
00:57:31.239 --> 00:57:34.119
a parent, it is your first time on Earth too.

1033
00:57:34.760 --> 00:57:37.079
And you know that's that when my son said that

1034
00:57:37.119 --> 00:57:38.840
to me at Disney, you know, it was like, it's

1035
00:57:38.880 --> 00:57:41.480
my first time on Earth. I'm doing Disney and I'm

1036
00:57:41.480 --> 00:57:43.840
going all in with all the big feelings it's that,

1037
00:57:44.199 --> 00:57:46.800
but it's important that we remember that it is our

1038
00:57:46.840 --> 00:57:49.599
first time on earth too. On a daily basis, honestly, on.

1039
00:57:49.559 --> 00:57:51.440
A daily basis, every day.

1040
00:57:51.320 --> 00:57:54.760
Absolutely, So what would you tell twenty two year old

1041
00:57:54.800 --> 00:57:55.159
you if.

1042
00:57:55.079 --> 00:58:03.519
You could, don't be in such a hurry. Slow down, Yeah,

1043
00:58:03.599 --> 00:58:05.679
don't be in such a hurry. Because I came from

1044
00:58:05.679 --> 00:58:09.400
a really really tiny town, tiny little farm town where

1045
00:58:09.440 --> 00:58:13.760
most people married their boyfriend from high school and just

1046
00:58:13.760 --> 00:58:16.960
stayed stayed in that little teen tiny town. And I

1047
00:58:17.039 --> 00:58:21.400
knew that was not for me. But at that time

1048
00:58:21.599 --> 00:58:28.400
in life, that those years and that culture, and you know,

1049
00:58:28.800 --> 00:58:33.920
I went to college and in state, and everyone just

1050
00:58:33.960 --> 00:58:37.920
got married so early. Everyone just got married and had

1051
00:58:37.960 --> 00:58:41.280
children so early, and I got married young. And I

1052
00:58:41.320 --> 00:58:44.800
would tell myself to like, don't do that. Not that

1053
00:58:44.840 --> 00:58:48.119
I wouldn't still choose my husband or we wouldn't still

1054
00:58:48.159 --> 00:58:51.440
be together, but just even he and I, like even

1055
00:58:51.440 --> 00:58:54.360
once we were together, like I was like, Okay, now

1056
00:58:54.400 --> 00:58:56.119
we've got to get engaged, and now we've got to

1057
00:58:56.159 --> 00:58:59.719
get married. Like why why was I do? Why? It's

1058
00:58:59.719 --> 00:59:06.079
a we could have just been dating for longer, We

1059
00:59:06.119 --> 00:59:08.480
could have been engaged for longer, Like why what was

1060
00:59:08.519 --> 00:59:12.039
the rush? What was the rush? Yeah, that's what I

1061
00:59:12.079 --> 00:59:15.280
would tell myself. Just slow down. There's plenty of time.

1062
00:59:16.039 --> 00:59:18.159
If this is the right person. This will be the

1063
00:59:18.239 --> 00:59:20.320
right person two years from now, three years from now.

1064
00:59:20.360 --> 00:59:22.800
We don't need to Why are we getting you know?

1065
00:59:22.960 --> 00:59:26.119
Just so I tell my girls all time, like, there's

1066
00:59:26.159 --> 00:59:29.000
no please everyone, just slow down. You got plenty of time.

1067
00:59:29.760 --> 00:59:33.480
So that's what you would tell yourself. What would you

1068
00:59:33.519 --> 00:59:36.400
tell the world if I handed you a microphone or

1069
00:59:36.760 --> 00:59:38.400
we have I have a microphone. But if I if

1070
00:59:38.440 --> 00:59:43.320
I handed you like a megaphone and strongly encouraged people

1071
00:59:43.360 --> 00:59:46.079
to listen to you for thirty seconds or so, what

1072
00:59:46.079 --> 00:59:46.760
would you say?

1073
00:59:47.719 --> 00:59:51.320
I would say it's not that deep. I would say,

1074
00:59:51.360 --> 00:59:54.440
it's not that deep. I love making everything so deep.

1075
00:59:54.639 --> 00:59:58.800
I love it, honestly. It just it's refreshing and needs

1076
00:59:58.840 --> 01:00:02.199
to be said more often by somebody that like you said,

1077
01:00:02.280 --> 01:00:05.360
people listen to now that you're wearing the cast member shirt, well,

1078
01:00:05.760 --> 01:00:08.159
people listen to, Julie. It's not that deep.

1079
01:00:08.480 --> 01:00:12.119
It's not that deep. It's really not. There are deep

1080
01:00:12.199 --> 01:00:17.320
things happening in the world. Get better at discernment and

1081
01:00:17.360 --> 01:00:20.880
knowing what really isn't that deep? I think we all

1082
01:00:20.960 --> 01:00:23.239
go through that at different points in our life where

1083
01:00:24.440 --> 01:00:27.519
we're so rigid and we're so like, it's really not

1084
01:00:27.559 --> 01:00:30.760
that deep. It isn't there There are pieces in life

1085
01:00:30.760 --> 01:00:35.239
that are worth being having some boundaries around, and then

1086
01:00:35.360 --> 01:00:38.159
there's a lot of life that just really isn't that deep.

1087
01:00:38.800 --> 01:00:41.719
And if you can get better at discerning between the two,

1088
01:00:41.840 --> 01:00:43.000
I think life feels better.

1089
01:00:43.760 --> 01:00:47.480
I think you're right. And what I know I mentioned

1090
01:00:47.599 --> 01:00:50.960
Alex Warren, but do you have a song? You mentioned

1091
01:00:50.960 --> 01:00:53.159
some music earlier, but like, do you have a song

1092
01:00:53.199 --> 01:00:55.880
that you go to when you want to ground yourself

1093
01:00:56.000 --> 01:00:59.039
or feel balanced or steady? I call it like a

1094
01:00:59.039 --> 01:01:01.320
song of survival. Do you have a song like that?

1095
01:01:02.119 --> 01:01:05.239
I don't have a song of survival. I have a

1096
01:01:05.280 --> 01:01:07.920
song that I play before I go on stage to speak.

1097
01:01:08.559 --> 01:01:12.679
I have a song. Let's say that that song is

1098
01:01:12.800 --> 01:01:15.199
Happily ever After by Jordan Fisher.

1099
01:01:15.480 --> 01:01:18.679
Oh that's appropriate.

1100
01:01:19.119 --> 01:01:23.920
Yes, that's been my song since that Fireworks that's the

1101
01:01:23.920 --> 01:01:26.599
theme song of the Fireworks show up Magic Kingdom, And

1102
01:01:27.000 --> 01:01:29.039
I don't know, there was something about that song that

1103
01:01:29.159 --> 01:01:33.960
became such a begon to me in terms of creating

1104
01:01:34.000 --> 01:01:38.199
your own life. And you know, I wanted to move

1105
01:01:38.239 --> 01:01:41.559
to Florida so I could be near Disney, and it

1106
01:01:41.679 --> 01:01:44.679
just that song just sort of became this lighthouse for me,

1107
01:01:45.239 --> 01:01:49.960
and then it just contin It's the alarm song every morning.

1108
01:01:50.000 --> 01:01:51.719
It's the first and hit. The first three words of

1109
01:01:51.760 --> 01:01:54.119
the song are ready to begin. There's no better way

1110
01:01:54.119 --> 01:01:56.199
to wake up every morning. That's what wakes me up

1111
01:01:56.239 --> 01:01:58.480
every single morning. And I play that before I go

1112
01:01:58.480 --> 01:02:00.559
on stage to speak and my headphones because I just

1113
01:02:00.599 --> 01:02:05.039
think it's a lighthouse for me in terms of create

1114
01:02:05.079 --> 01:02:08.119
your own life, write your own story. So if I

1115
01:02:08.119 --> 01:02:09.280
had to choose one, that would be it.

1116
01:02:09.559 --> 01:02:12.400
That's a great one and a great message to end on.

1117
01:02:12.480 --> 01:02:14.320
Unless you have something else that you want to share

1118
01:02:14.360 --> 01:02:16.000
that I didn't ask you because I feel like I

1119
01:02:16.000 --> 01:02:17.760
could talk to you for a really long time and

1120
01:02:17.800 --> 01:02:19.880
I don't know that we can do that for a

1121
01:02:19.920 --> 01:02:22.119
long time that people will stay with us. So is

1122
01:02:22.119 --> 01:02:24.480
there anything that you want to add that I didn't ask.

1123
01:02:25.079 --> 01:02:28.800
I don't think, So just get in the picture. Get

1124
01:02:28.800 --> 01:02:31.840
in the picture, the picture at Disney and in life.

1125
01:02:31.920 --> 01:02:32.639
Get in the picture.

1126
01:02:32.880 --> 01:02:36.360
Amen. Thank you, Julie, and I appreciate you so much,

1127
01:02:36.360 --> 01:02:39.000
and we'll see you next time. On Quick Before You Forget,

1128
01:02:39.480 --> 01:02:43.280
Thank you, thank you for being here with me today

1129
01:02:43.599 --> 01:02:47.239
on Quick Before You Forget. Please like, share, and subscribe

1130
01:02:47.280 --> 01:02:49.840
as that helps the show so much and I really

1131
01:02:49.840 --> 01:02:52.840
appreciate it. And I'll see you next time on Quick

1132
01:02:52.880 --> 01:02:53.639
Before You Forget,