July 13, 2026

Brick by Brick: Raheel Siddiqui Lost More than 200 Pounds But That's Not What Changed His Life

Brick by Brick: Raheel Siddiqui Lost More than 200 Pounds But That's Not What Changed His Life

There comes a moment when life asks you a simple but uncomfortable question: Are you finally ready to tell yourself the truth?

This week's guest, TEDx speaker and creator of the WallBreaker Method, Raheel Siddiqui, shares one of the most honest, shocking, and inspiring stories we've ever had on Quick Before You Forget.

After reaching 405 pounds, being told he'd likely die before 40, losing his father, battling chronic pain, facing infertility, and rebuilding his life more than once, Raheel discovered something powerful: You don't break through life's biggest walls all at once.

You build your life, intentionally, brick by brick. In this conversation we explore identity, resilience, discipline, grief, health, confidence, and why becoming your own biggest supporter changes everything.

If you've been feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or uncertain about your next step, this episode is your reminder that transformation isn't reserved for extraordinary people.

It's built through ordinary decisions made consistently. One brick. One truth. One step. One meaningful conversation. At a time.

Meaningful Moments

00:00 Meet Raheel Siddiqui and The Wall Breaker Method
02:00 The first wall: obesity and childhood bullying
06:20 The doctor's devastating prediction
08:00 The promise that changed everything
12:00 Losing 150 pounds
13:45 Losing his father
16:00 Infertility, IVF, and becoming a father
19:00 Two herniated discs and starting over
21:00 "Just let it out."
23:00 Why every wall is meant to be broken
24:30 Looking in the mirror and telling yourself the truth
31:00 Becoming your own biggest supporter
35:00 Why small goals beat giant goals
39:00 Building your life brick by brick
43:00 Health before everything else
47:00 Why taking care of yourself helps everyone else
52:00 Eye of the Tiger and remembering your why
54:30 The message everyone needs to hear

Raheel Siddiqui's Song of Survival: Eye of the Tiger, Survivor

Raheel Siddiqui Bio
Raheel Siddiqui is a TEDx Speaker and Motivational Keynote Speaker who helps leaders and teams build resilience, discipline, and mental toughness to perform at their best under pressure. After losing over 200 pounds and overcoming significant life challenges, Raheel now inspires audiences across the country with his powerful story and his Wallbreaker™ Method—a proven framework for breaking through adversity and becoming unstoppable.

Connect with Raheel:

Website: www.raheelspeaks.com
YouTube: (125) Raheel Siddiqui - YouTube
Facebook: (7) Facebook
Instagram: Raheel Siddiqui | Motivational Speaker | Keynote Speaker (@raheelthespeaker) • Instagram photos and videos
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/raheel-siddiqui-a2a752123
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@raheelversion2.0?_r=1&_t=ZP-95Cj3Nttg5f
X: https://x.com/raheelthe2nd?s=21&t=O3CsnSopB2U3tb6tJSR5hA

WEBVTT

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And I would honestly tell you the very first step

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to the wall Breaker Method. The very first step is

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the hardest step. So I want to stress that very clearly.

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It is the hardest step. But I will say, if

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you can find a way to really achieve this first step,

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I promise you everything else will be easier. So what

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is the first step? The first step You have to

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find a way to look in the mirror and you

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have to tell yourself the truth.

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Rahiel Sadiki, welcome to quick before you forget.

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Thank you for having me excited to be here.

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I am so excited. Did I say your name right?

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You did say it right?

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We were practicing off air because guys, I had him

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in my head differently, and then it takes some practice sometimes.

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So I'm so excited friends for you to meet Rahel

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because the first time I met him and he said

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his name, I just like I leaned in. I'm like,

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that is a very interesting name for a very interesting human.

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So.

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Raheel is a teTeX speaker, motivational keynote speaker, and the

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creator of the wall Breaker Method, a framework designed to

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help people break through the invisible barriers that are holding

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them back. From living the life they actually want to live.

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His work sits at the intersection of identity, courage, and action,

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helping people stop overthinking and start taking action toward meaningful

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and impactful change in their lives. And today we're talking

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about the walls we build, the ones we inherit, and

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what it really takes to break through them. Raheel, Are

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you ready?

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Come on?

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Man?

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I was born ready, you already know?

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I'm How did I know you were going to say that?

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I just I just I had a feeling, so oh

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my gosh, you I want to know, like you know,

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I walk through people's stories on this podcast, and I

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usually go past present, future and I usually ask the

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one of the first questions I usually ask is like

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a moment in your life or a person in your

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life from your childhood that has impacted you to today,

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which I do want to know. But your question that

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I've been thinking about it is more specific because of

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your story, because your I want to know, as the wallbreaker,

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what's the first wall that you broke through?

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My obesity?

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I mean, hands down, losing the amount of weight that

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I did and overcoming it. And also it's the twofold

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to it, right, it's not just the physical piece but deaf.

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Mental piece, right.

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So it was one big wall where we could even

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say multiple walls, but definitely just conquering that once and

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for all and kind of putting that behind me and

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knock on wood hopefully for the rest of my life,

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because that was definitely, hands down the biggest wall I

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had to knock down to help me become the wall

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breaker per.

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Se for sure. So I got to hear something called

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a scar story at a event that Mick Hunt, our

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mutual friend Mick put on a event it was a

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really cool mastermind at an event called lead Loud in Greenville,

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South Carolina recently, and we had a couple of people

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stand up and tell their scar stories and you were

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one of those people, and I my jaw was on

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the floor, like I was like, whoa, your story is incredible.

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And you know when you kind of just dropped this,

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like oh I just lost a lot of weight. That

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was my first wall, and I'm like, oh my gosh.

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People don't even know. So talk us through and take

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your time because this is this is it, Like this

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is the real why behind what you're doing. Talk us

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through that scar story as you told it. And don't

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don't don't like shorten it to tell it in its entirety.

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I appreciate it yet because I felt like when I

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did tell it at the lead lot event, it was

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only a few minutes. I kind of gave the cliff

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notes and trailer per se and you know, beginning, middle end,

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But thank you.

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I appreciate it. Yeah. So, man, what a ride?

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So you know, over heel sneeky how born and raised

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in Long Island, New York. Go jets do you see

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the green on top? And I always get a lot

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of flag forward too, but I got a ride with

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my team. Had to throw that out there, but no,

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I appreciate it. Yeah, so pretty much ty like growing

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up in New York. I mean starting out it was tough, man.

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I was pretty much born obese, overweight my entire life,

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and I think growing up going back into that space childhood,

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elementary school, middle school, high school, getting into college, so

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pretty much into my twenties, I really didn't address it right.

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So I felt like it was a situation where my

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mind was looking at a wall, but I didn't really

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see it. And maybe because I didn't want to see

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it right. I think also when you're a different age

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gap or an age group in your you know, in

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your teens and your tw Now that I'm in my forties,

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let's not.

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Tell everybody that.

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But I think that in that time, I just wasn't

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willing to address it. I wasn't willing to see it.

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I wasn't willing to run through it. I was the

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person that was running away from it.

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So lo and beholds. During my childhood, I mean it

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was tough, man. I mean I.

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Really took a really big beating. I mean when I

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mean beating, I mean virtually so so not virtually but verbally.

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Excuse me, so verbally, yeah, exactly correct, excuse me. So,

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you know, just walking into places being really body shame,

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being really humiliated.

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I was always picked.

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On a lot friends, quote unquote, extended family members, people

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that were supposed to be close in my circle. You know,

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it's funny when you walk into a room you think

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that people are laughing with you, but then over time

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you realize that they're really laughing at you. And then

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you know, the bullying got so bad for me that

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I would go to places, events, dinner parties, anywhere that

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there was food, and I would hear a lot of

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meat and nasty comments, and it was people's gest But

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I felt like I was walking in and again having

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a good time.

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But I didn't realize that I was a target. Man.

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I was just a walking target and people were just

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looking at this guy, and I'm thinking, I'm coming in

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there like fun, big, big, fun loving guy.

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But I was really a target for a lot of people.

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So and I got bullied so bad, to the point

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where a lot of times I would go to places

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and I was so afraid to eat in front of

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people that I would literally go to a fast food

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restaurant and just pound down like two.

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Three, four thousand calories of food.

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Then I would go to that event and people would

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ask me to eat and I would be like, no,

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I'm okay, I'm full. But to be honest with you,

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I was really broken, right, I mean at the end

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of the day, because because I got shamed so badly

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in those moments. But again, I think it's just stems

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from that wall, or multiple walls. I didn't want to

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run through it. I kept running away from it, right,

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I kept running away from our problems. I didn't want

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to go through it. So fast forward to January twenty ten,

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I got to my heaviest weight at four hundred and

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five pounds, And it's just crazy thinking about it because

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I know it's you know, twenty ten, it seems like

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it's sixteen years.

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But for me, it's like.

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Literally like I remember every snapshot of those moments. But

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my father looked at me one day and he said, hey, man,

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like I'm getting really concerned. I want to take you

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to the doctor because you know, I'm his youngest son.

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My weight was getting out of control, and he was like,

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I just want to make sure that you know you're healthy,

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and you know, we can make figure out a plan

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or a path forward, you know, assuming you're not and

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get ahead of the problem, not behind it. So I said, okay,

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got my blood work done, went to the doctor's office

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a few days later, and you know this part of

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the story, it's like burned in my brain for the

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rest of my life. So my father and I are

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sitting there into the doctor's office. The doctor walks in,

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has a folder in his hand, looks down at the

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folder and it's my results of my blood work, looks

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at the folder, flips the folder. The pages of the

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folder of my results closes the folder, throws the folder

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on the counter, It looks at my father and I

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and says, it doesn't matter what these results say. Your

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son's going to be dead by the time he's forty.

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We're just wasting our time being here anyways.

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And that was it. And in that.

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Moment, I'm thinking, all right, well, you know, no five

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star review for you there, doc, right, I mean, ha ha,

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I'm definitely not giving you that on yelp hoal, but

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complete shock. I mean, I never in my wildest dreams

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thinking I'm gonna go in there, like what person would

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go to a doctor's office thinking you're going to get

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that type of news, right that like instant like boom.

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So I'm like wow.

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So then my dad and the doctor went off to

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the side for a couple of minutes. They chatted, and

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then we left.

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Fastest doctors visit ever, so not even five minutes.

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And I think where my I think where my eyes

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my awareness of my wall started to come was right

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here in this moment. So driving home, about halfway home,

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my father looked at me. I'm driving, he's in the

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passenger seat on the way home from the doctor's office,

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and he said, listen, hey, I need you to pull.

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The car over.

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I'm like, hey, is everything okay? What's going on? He said, listen,

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just pull the car over. Pull the car over, like

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right now. And I said okay. And my father was

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like the complete opposite of me. He had a very

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soft spoken voice, but you know, the volume obviously cranked

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up in this moment. So I pulled the car over

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on the side. I said, Hey, what's going on? And

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he said, listen, you know this isn't a game. I

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am running out of time. I'm not going to be

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there to see you get married. I'm not going to

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be there to see you have kids. But you you

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still have time. You have to promise me that you

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were going to take this seriously. Promise me you're going

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to take control of your health. Promise me you're going

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to take control of your life. And we are not

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driving home until you promised me. And in that moment,

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I'm like, what is going on here? One morning you

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wake up to go to the doctor's office and you're

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thinking another story in your head or another vision that

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didn't go as planned, and now you're driving home and

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you can't even make it home, and another part of

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my story or not just setting occurs that I never

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thought would happened. And my father at that time was

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battling a lot of health issues himself. I mean he

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had have rotator cuff surgery, cataracts, just a lot the

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body was really breaking down for him. But he had

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a really bad liver issue that was also really bothering him.

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So whatever it was, in that moment, he decided, I'm

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assuming it's now or never, right like, now is the

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time I need to get through to my son somehow,

220
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some way. So I said, okay, Dad, like calm down,

221
00:10:28.120 --> 00:10:30.679
and he was like no, like and he reiterated it again,

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00:10:30.759 --> 00:10:32.399
saying that we are not driving home. You have to

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promise me, promise me. And I think what really hit

224
00:10:34.600 --> 00:10:36.879
me hard was you know, he had like tears coming

225
00:10:36.879 --> 00:10:39.080
down his eyes like the water and the pain was

226
00:10:39.080 --> 00:10:41.440
like really coming out. I've never seen my father and

227
00:10:41.799 --> 00:10:44.639
all my life up until that moment cry ever, So

228
00:10:45.279 --> 00:10:48.879
I'm like, okay, like, please just don't cry. I promise, Okay,

229
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I promise you.

230
00:10:49.759 --> 00:10:50.240
I will.

231
00:10:50.399 --> 00:10:53.320
I will take control. I promise you, I will take

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00:10:53.320 --> 00:10:55.519
control of my health. I will take control of my life.

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00:10:56.000 --> 00:10:58.720
Just don't cry. Because I'm a dad now like most

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00:10:58.720 --> 00:11:00.639
parents when kids yell at you. It's kind of like

235
00:11:00.679 --> 00:11:02.600
in one ear and out the other per se, but

236
00:11:02.799 --> 00:11:04.919
not this time. Like this time, it was like, no,

237
00:11:05.080 --> 00:11:07.600
you need to listen to me, and you listen to

238
00:11:07.639 --> 00:11:10.679
me right now. So that's when I was like, okay,

239
00:11:11.039 --> 00:11:13.639
I promise, and then we drove home, and that's when

240
00:11:13.679 --> 00:11:18.600
the journey begans. So January, as always in life, I

241
00:11:18.639 --> 00:11:19.960
tried and I kept failing.

242
00:11:20.080 --> 00:11:20.279
Right.

243
00:11:20.360 --> 00:11:23.039
I went to the local track, kept failing there, went

244
00:11:23.080 --> 00:11:25.879
to the local school, kept failing there. I joined a gym,

245
00:11:26.000 --> 00:11:29.480
local gym on my own, and I went there three

246
00:11:29.559 --> 00:11:31.759
days a week. I thought, okay, I'm feeling great, and

247
00:11:31.799 --> 00:11:33.559
then all of a sudden it went to two days

248
00:11:33.600 --> 00:11:35.240
a week, and then one day a week, and then

249
00:11:35.240 --> 00:11:36.519
the gym is calling me like.

250
00:11:36.679 --> 00:11:38.399
Hey, real, we haven't seen you in a while.

251
00:11:38.480 --> 00:11:41.559
Man, everything okay, And then I just quit because that's

252
00:11:41.559 --> 00:11:42.879
all I knew in my life.

253
00:11:42.960 --> 00:11:44.120
I was the ultimate quitter.

254
00:11:44.279 --> 00:11:47.000
I think accountability is very key in these moments and

255
00:11:47.279 --> 00:11:49.360
in this moment as I'm telling the story, because I

256
00:11:49.360 --> 00:11:51.559
didn't have any of it. I was the ultimate quitter

257
00:11:51.600 --> 00:11:55.399
and I liked any accountability and that's what cost me

258
00:11:55.440 --> 00:11:58.480
to this point. So tried and failed, tried and failed,

259
00:11:58.519 --> 00:12:02.120
but then may So now we're going like five six

260
00:12:02.159 --> 00:12:05.200
months and one of my really closest friends was like, hey, listen, man,

261
00:12:05.240 --> 00:12:07.480
we're joining a gym. A bunch of our close friends

262
00:12:07.480 --> 00:12:09.960
are all joining together. Why don't you join too. It'll

263
00:12:09.960 --> 00:12:11.720
be fun. We can all play ball together, we can

264
00:12:11.759 --> 00:12:13.480
hang out together. Because that was the one thing I

265
00:12:13.480 --> 00:12:15.320
could always hold my hat on is that we still

266
00:12:15.320 --> 00:12:17.879
played collectively. I did with my friends. I have an

267
00:12:17.879 --> 00:12:20.480
older brothers, we have the same circle of friends, played

268
00:12:20.519 --> 00:12:22.879
a lot of sports, hung out and you know, that

269
00:12:23.000 --> 00:12:26.200
was another way to always be together. So very awesome

270
00:12:26.639 --> 00:12:28.399
of him to think of me, and he was like,

271
00:12:28.600 --> 00:12:31.720
you know, please join, And in that moment, I I'm thinking, okay, Well,

272
00:12:32.120 --> 00:12:35.440
the number one reason why I will probably because what

273
00:12:35.559 --> 00:12:37.240
else do I have to lose? I mean, I've tried

274
00:12:37.320 --> 00:12:40.440
everything else, everything else has failed at this point, so

275
00:12:40.919 --> 00:12:42.159
all right, man, let's do it.

276
00:12:42.200 --> 00:12:42.480
Done.

277
00:12:42.519 --> 00:12:45.200
So then I remember the first day of gym class.

278
00:12:45.240 --> 00:12:47.000
I see a big sign on the wall and what

279
00:12:47.039 --> 00:12:49.840
does it say? Says team weight loss class.

280
00:12:50.279 --> 00:12:51.759
Literally big in balls.

281
00:12:51.879 --> 00:12:54.559
I'm like, okay, It's like that light bulb, like like

282
00:12:54.919 --> 00:12:57.440
I'm like okay, So those three days a week, and

283
00:12:57.559 --> 00:12:59.159
I was like, you know what, let me try it,

284
00:12:59.279 --> 00:12:59.679
Like why not?

285
00:12:59.759 --> 00:13:00.000
I mean?

286
00:13:00.320 --> 00:13:02.200
And it was for people just like me, people who

287
00:13:02.279 --> 00:13:05.519
were completely out of shape, unhealthy, want to get their life,

288
00:13:05.519 --> 00:13:08.600
their weight, their fitness track, fitness journey back on track.

289
00:13:08.960 --> 00:13:11.240
So I did it. I joined, I signed up, and

290
00:13:11.320 --> 00:13:15.519
then I did it. And that first week, I you know,

291
00:13:15.639 --> 00:13:18.000
I started to get some traction. I went like three

292
00:13:18.039 --> 00:13:20.399
days a week. I lost, you know, a few pounds

293
00:13:20.399 --> 00:13:22.679
because they had like weekly weigh ins, like the biggest loser,

294
00:13:22.759 --> 00:13:25.039
and so I lost about like five pounds that first week.

295
00:13:25.080 --> 00:13:26.240
And then I was like, you know what, what if

296
00:13:26.279 --> 00:13:29.000
I just come every single day seven days a week,

297
00:13:29.080 --> 00:13:30.799
three days a week with the class, but then also

298
00:13:30.840 --> 00:13:32.679
on my own just put in a little extra work.

299
00:13:33.000 --> 00:13:35.039
So I remember, I did that seven days a week.

300
00:13:35.120 --> 00:13:37.840
I went week two and the trainer looked at me.

301
00:13:38.000 --> 00:13:40.279
I looked at him and I'm like, okay, man, you're

302
00:13:40.320 --> 00:13:42.360
you're scaring me. What's going on? And he was like, dude,

303
00:13:42.399 --> 00:13:45.720
you lost like seventeen pounds this week. And in that moment,

304
00:13:45.799 --> 00:13:48.240
I had to take a like taken aback and I

305
00:13:48.279 --> 00:13:50.039
was like, you know, for the first time in my life,

306
00:13:50.480 --> 00:13:54.600
I actually didn't quit. I actually was accountable. I didn't

307
00:13:54.919 --> 00:13:58.000
run away from that wall. I finally was able to stick,

308
00:13:58.519 --> 00:14:01.559
you know, right through that wall, take my shoulder and

309
00:14:01.639 --> 00:14:04.039
ram right through that wall and stick to it. And

310
00:14:04.080 --> 00:14:06.440
I think I was like wow, And I think that's

311
00:14:06.480 --> 00:14:10.000
when the switch really hit and the fire just really

312
00:14:10.039 --> 00:14:12.799
exploded to me. And then from May twenty ten to

313
00:14:12.879 --> 00:14:15.200
May twenty eleven, I ended up losing my first one

314
00:14:15.279 --> 00:14:18.240
hundred and fifty pounds. I mean I became a stray monster. Okay,

315
00:14:18.279 --> 00:14:22.200
like literally, I felt like this unstoppable force. I was excited.

316
00:14:22.240 --> 00:14:25.080
I was feeling good. I had the swagger, nice clothes.

317
00:14:25.120 --> 00:14:26.759
I mean, I had an extra bounce on my step.

318
00:14:26.759 --> 00:14:29.840
I was feeling great, like, oh, it's nice being up here.

319
00:14:29.639 --> 00:14:30.360
You know, on top.

320
00:14:30.519 --> 00:14:32.600
In my own mind, right, I was like, it's nice

321
00:14:32.600 --> 00:14:34.600
being on the top of the mountain, not in the bottom.

322
00:14:34.879 --> 00:14:36.919
So I was feeling great hitting into that summer in

323
00:14:36.960 --> 00:14:39.480
twenty eleven. But as they say, in life, you know,

324
00:14:39.559 --> 00:14:42.000
you take one step forward and two steps backwards. So

325
00:14:42.159 --> 00:14:45.080
going in, even though my health I felt like was

326
00:14:45.159 --> 00:14:49.120
on the rise. Two months later, July twenty eleven, we

327
00:14:49.159 --> 00:14:51.919
go to Connecticut for my cousin's wedding. We're in the

328
00:14:51.960 --> 00:14:55.840
hotel room the night of the reception. Unfortunately, my father's

329
00:14:55.840 --> 00:14:58.799
health took My father's health took a severe turn for

330
00:14:58.840 --> 00:15:01.519
the worst ever ended up blowing out, and he ended

331
00:15:01.600 --> 00:15:04.639
up dying right in my hands in the hotel bed.

332
00:15:04.840 --> 00:15:07.840
And it was like the most tragic experience of my life.

333
00:15:07.879 --> 00:15:10.240
And I was there, my mom was there, my brother

334
00:15:10.360 --> 00:15:13.799
was there, everybody my family was there. And it was

335
00:15:13.879 --> 00:15:16.559
his side of the family too, so his siblings were there,

336
00:15:16.679 --> 00:15:20.399
and just an absolute wreck. I'm like, what is going

337
00:15:20.440 --> 00:15:22.879
on here? And to add salt on a wound, I

338
00:15:22.879 --> 00:15:24.639
don't know if there's even a bigger wound. I can

339
00:15:24.720 --> 00:15:25.559
probably just say that.

340
00:15:25.679 --> 00:15:25.919
Now.

341
00:15:26.279 --> 00:15:29.120
We had to go do the funeral in Baltimore, where

342
00:15:29.120 --> 00:15:32.679
we were living. Twenty four hours later, we had over

343
00:15:32.720 --> 00:15:36.000
five hundred people come, loving, turnaround, loving show out. I

344
00:15:36.120 --> 00:15:38.240
bend over to pick up his casket. I stand up

345
00:15:38.240 --> 00:15:38.960
and what do I hear?

346
00:15:39.080 --> 00:15:39.159
Like?

347
00:15:39.279 --> 00:15:42.320
Ah? And I blow out my L three L four

348
00:15:42.440 --> 00:15:45.320
herniated disk and I have shooting pain down my legs

349
00:15:45.360 --> 00:15:47.919
down to my toes, down my left leg down to

350
00:15:48.000 --> 00:15:51.240
my toes and I'm an excruciating pain. So again in

351
00:15:51.279 --> 00:15:53.559
my mind, I'm like, what is going on here? Just

352
00:15:53.600 --> 00:15:55.519
like that day in twenty ten in the doctor's office.

353
00:15:55.559 --> 00:15:58.159
I'm like, I'm thinking a vision, a story in my

354
00:15:58.240 --> 00:16:00.000
head of how it's going to play out one day,

355
00:16:00.240 --> 00:16:03.759
and it's complete opposite of how it did play out.

356
00:16:03.960 --> 00:16:05.960
So I had to say goodbye to my best friend

357
00:16:06.519 --> 00:16:08.879
who I did this for, and I'm like, what is

358
00:16:08.919 --> 00:16:12.360
going on here? So the fire that I had, it

359
00:16:12.440 --> 00:16:16.879
really went from like a monster fire, big flame to

360
00:16:16.919 --> 00:16:19.720
a very very tiny spark, right because at this point

361
00:16:19.759 --> 00:16:21.480
in my mind, I'm like, well I did this for him,

362
00:16:21.919 --> 00:16:25.159
where do we go from here? So fast forward we

363
00:16:25.200 --> 00:16:28.279
get to twenty sixteen. My wife and I do get married,

364
00:16:28.399 --> 00:16:32.399
but I'm dealing with severe sciatica. I never addressed it.

365
00:16:32.440 --> 00:16:35.120
I had this pain and it wasn't going away. So

366
00:16:35.200 --> 00:16:37.480
I went through that problem, but I'm like, okay, I'm

367
00:16:37.519 --> 00:16:40.000
just gonna again like I always did, I kept running

368
00:16:40.000 --> 00:16:41.879
away from that wall. I didn't want to run through it,

369
00:16:41.960 --> 00:16:43.639
so I just kept it on the back burner. I

370
00:16:43.679 --> 00:16:46.720
would still work out and train, but the weight did.

371
00:16:46.600 --> 00:16:48.600
Creep up a lot. I didn't take it as seriously.

372
00:16:48.679 --> 00:16:50.639
I didn't attack it the way I did because my

373
00:16:50.679 --> 00:16:53.279
father was gone twenty and sixteen, my wife and.

374
00:16:53.200 --> 00:16:53.879
I get married.

375
00:16:54.279 --> 00:16:57.720
I'm thinking, life is good. Okay, I'm happy, I'm happily married.

376
00:16:57.759 --> 00:17:00.240
We're good to go. Two years later, go by, we

377
00:17:00.279 --> 00:17:02.799
can't have children. I'm like, what's going on? Go run

378
00:17:02.840 --> 00:17:05.839
all the fertility tests, Go see the fertility doctor. She

379
00:17:06.000 --> 00:17:08.799
literally tilts her chair right at me and says, for heel,

380
00:17:08.839 --> 00:17:10.920
I can't one hundred percent confirm it, but I think

381
00:17:10.960 --> 00:17:15.720
you're up and down. Extreme weight loss situation might have

382
00:17:15.799 --> 00:17:18.960
been a really big damper in this whole piece. You know,

383
00:17:19.119 --> 00:17:22.240
your sperm motility count is abnormally low, and I think

384
00:17:22.279 --> 00:17:24.720
that is the number one reason why that you guys

385
00:17:24.799 --> 00:17:28.519
are having trouble having children. And the only option that

386
00:17:28.599 --> 00:17:30.880
I see here for you guys to even have a

387
00:17:30.960 --> 00:17:34.359
chance to have a child is through in vitro fertilization IVF.

388
00:17:34.440 --> 00:17:37.839
And for people that don't know, the male audience especially,

389
00:17:37.880 --> 00:17:39.440
I feel like the male audience, though it doesn't have

390
00:17:39.559 --> 00:17:42.160
enough education about this, in my opinion, it is an

391
00:17:42.160 --> 00:17:44.480
absolute beast. Okay, it is a grind. So in my

392
00:17:44.559 --> 00:17:47.400
mind I'm thinking, now, okay, now I'm the wall that

393
00:17:47.480 --> 00:17:49.640
my wife has to go through, right Like, That's how

394
00:17:49.680 --> 00:17:51.440
I felt in that moment like I now she has

395
00:17:51.480 --> 00:17:54.240
to go through me. So I'm like, okay, here we go.

396
00:17:54.279 --> 00:17:56.079
And she was like, Okay, if that's our choice, that's

397
00:17:56.079 --> 00:17:59.359
our choice. And you know, it is an absolute beast.

398
00:17:59.400 --> 00:18:03.319
I mean when you talk about in vitu shots, money, spiritually,

399
00:18:03.640 --> 00:18:06.839
like I mean, just financially, emotionally, everything, it just really

400
00:18:06.920 --> 00:18:09.599
takes a toll on you. My wife was like, you know,

401
00:18:09.720 --> 00:18:12.039
throwing up. She had bruises all over her body. And

402
00:18:12.079 --> 00:18:14.000
I remember her on the bed and I'm like, I

403
00:18:14.000 --> 00:18:16.119
don't know how much more you can do, like this

404
00:18:16.160 --> 00:18:18.400
is a lot, man, and you know, shout out to her.

405
00:18:18.440 --> 00:18:20.200
She put her two fingers in the air, put them

406
00:18:20.279 --> 00:18:22.200
right in her stomach, and she was like, I'm having

407
00:18:22.279 --> 00:18:24.839
this baby. Like I'm having this baby. I'm having him

408
00:18:24.839 --> 00:18:28.240
no matter what or it no matter what, and quitting

409
00:18:28.279 --> 00:18:30.359
is not an option. Like it was kind of like

410
00:18:30.400 --> 00:18:32.759
she was pissed at me for even suggesting, and I

411
00:18:32.799 --> 00:18:35.079
was like, I'm not suggesting quitting. I'm just I'm just

412
00:18:35.200 --> 00:18:37.480
I see so much somebody you love so much putting

413
00:18:37.519 --> 00:18:40.559
theirselves through so much pain and suffering, and I felt

414
00:18:40.559 --> 00:18:42.240
like it was my fault. I was the wall that

415
00:18:42.319 --> 00:18:42.599
she was.

416
00:18:42.599 --> 00:18:43.480
Trying to go break.

417
00:18:43.759 --> 00:18:46.119
She was like, we're gonna just keep attacking this thing,

418
00:18:46.200 --> 00:18:49.839
so Lo and behold kept at it, and then finally

419
00:18:50.000 --> 00:18:50.799
lo and behold.

420
00:18:50.839 --> 00:18:52.880
You know, doctor did call and tell us we got

421
00:18:52.880 --> 00:18:53.920
some good news on the way.

422
00:18:54.039 --> 00:18:57.039
Nine months later, yeah, our son was born November twenty,

423
00:18:57.160 --> 00:19:01.559
nineteen eleven eleven rain sneaky, so rain eleven eleven so

424
00:19:01.759 --> 00:19:05.039
love the number one. I love eleven four ones across

425
00:19:05.079 --> 00:19:07.279
the board. It was beautiful, best day of my life.

426
00:19:07.519 --> 00:19:09.640
It was amazing. So I'm like, okay, this is great.

427
00:19:09.720 --> 00:19:10.119
She did it.

428
00:19:10.160 --> 00:19:12.519
She broke the wall down and had our son, and

429
00:19:12.559 --> 00:19:15.640
then that was amazing. And then I'm like, okay, here

430
00:19:15.680 --> 00:19:17.440
we go. But as we talked about in life, you

431
00:19:17.640 --> 00:19:20.880
take one step forward, take two steps backward. Two months later,

432
00:19:21.200 --> 00:19:24.119
paternity leave is over. I'm driving down to Arlington, Virginia.

433
00:19:24.160 --> 00:19:26.240
I'm in my work garage. I bend over the time

434
00:19:26.279 --> 00:19:30.519
my shoe, I stand up. I'm like, ah, like excruciating pain,

435
00:19:30.559 --> 00:19:34.039
now excruciating. It's like it's like and I was in

436
00:19:34.079 --> 00:19:37.799
a garage, so like my thunderous voice like shouted out everywhere,

437
00:19:38.160 --> 00:19:40.839
and people come came running to me. I like fell

438
00:19:40.880 --> 00:19:42.519
to my knees and then I had to like try

439
00:19:42.559 --> 00:19:45.640
to stand back up. I blow out my second herniated disc.

440
00:19:46.079 --> 00:19:49.519
So I'm like, oh my God, and so much pain

441
00:19:49.599 --> 00:19:51.400
that I couldn't even really drive home. It took me

442
00:19:51.440 --> 00:19:53.480
about almost two hours because I had to like lie

443
00:19:53.559 --> 00:19:56.559
down in the car to drive home. So I get

444
00:19:56.599 --> 00:19:59.519
home and I remember sitting in the bed. I'm crying

445
00:19:59.519 --> 00:20:01.799
and my wife was like look man like like looking

446
00:20:01.839 --> 00:20:04.160
at me, and she was like, listen, you know what

447
00:20:04.240 --> 00:20:05.119
are you doing.

448
00:20:04.960 --> 00:20:06.799
Like kind of like in an upsetting tone, and I'm

449
00:20:06.799 --> 00:20:09.000
like in dying pain right now. I was like, what

450
00:20:09.039 --> 00:20:09.880
did I do wrong?

451
00:20:09.960 --> 00:20:12.279
And then she was like, listen, you know what are

452
00:20:12.279 --> 00:20:14.880
you doing? She was like, you're a new father. You

453
00:20:14.920 --> 00:20:17.880
know you're my husband. I cannot have a husband and

454
00:20:17.920 --> 00:20:20.720
a brand new father, God forbid in a wheelchair. You know,

455
00:20:20.759 --> 00:20:23.319
you made a promise to your dad, Like just because

456
00:20:23.319 --> 00:20:26.039
your dad died doesn't mean the promise died with him.

457
00:20:27.440 --> 00:20:29.640
And yeah, I was tough.

458
00:20:31.480 --> 00:20:33.559
I lost count of how many walls you broke through,

459
00:20:33.559 --> 00:20:37.400
though I was I was tallying them kind of as

460
00:20:37.400 --> 00:20:39.599
we were going, like I was making a little tally marks,

461
00:20:40.480 --> 00:20:45.359
and I lost track, Like because you have lived the

462
00:20:45.400 --> 00:20:49.839
wall breaking life, and I want to know what happened

463
00:20:49.839 --> 00:20:52.839
next because you bounce forward, right.

464
00:20:53.279 --> 00:20:55.920
I mean, that's and that's exactly right. So I remember

465
00:20:55.960 --> 00:20:58.799
her even saying after that moment, like, you know, let's

466
00:20:59.119 --> 00:21:02.240
let's finally you know this problem. You've been running away

467
00:21:02.240 --> 00:21:04.480
from it for so long. Let's finally get a doctor.

468
00:21:04.640 --> 00:21:07.519
Let's get you fixed, and you know, let's get you right.

469
00:21:07.559 --> 00:21:10.119
Because I remember another piece of this was she was like,

470
00:21:10.200 --> 00:21:13.440
I know you, man, I know you like you love training,

471
00:21:13.559 --> 00:21:16.440
like you love like your energy, you love the excitement,

472
00:21:16.519 --> 00:21:18.279
you love what it does to you. She was like,

473
00:21:18.400 --> 00:21:21.160
that's you, Like that's all of you, like you give

474
00:21:21.279 --> 00:21:23.720
all of you. So you know, we need to find

475
00:21:23.759 --> 00:21:25.720
a way to bring that guy back. And you're not

476
00:21:25.880 --> 00:21:28.039
that guy right now. So we need to get healthy.

477
00:21:28.079 --> 00:21:30.799
We need to get you back, like reheal back that

478
00:21:30.880 --> 00:21:33.440
you know that she's known. So let's find a way,

479
00:21:33.480 --> 00:21:35.400
let's find a plan, let's find a doctor, let's get

480
00:21:35.400 --> 00:21:39.400
it done. Found a great doctor. Got surgery done successfully

481
00:21:39.480 --> 00:21:42.720
to operations two on both of my discs, So two

482
00:21:42.720 --> 00:21:46.559
slip discs got operations. Surgery was a success. Shout out

483
00:21:46.559 --> 00:21:49.839
to my wife again. Six weeks of physical therapy rehab

484
00:21:49.960 --> 00:21:52.920
up the stairs, down the stairs, changing my bandages, like

485
00:21:53.279 --> 00:21:57.440
taking care of me Xyz. Six weeks goes by, go

486
00:21:57.519 --> 00:21:59.960
to see the doctor for my checkup, looks at me

487
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:02.240
up and down, examines me. It looks right at me,

488
00:22:02.279 --> 00:22:04.200
and he says, reheal. And I'm like, oh, man, like

489
00:22:04.640 --> 00:22:05.480
please God.

490
00:22:05.960 --> 00:22:08.240
Because doctors visits and and myself aren't.

491
00:22:08.279 --> 00:22:10.440
Obviously I don't have a good history going to the doctor, right,

492
00:22:10.799 --> 00:22:14.960
So he was like reveal. Honestly, he was like, congratulations, man,

493
00:22:15.279 --> 00:22:18.039
you're one hundred percent. I'm clearing you one hundred percent.

494
00:22:18.119 --> 00:22:20.240
Full systems go. But the three words that he said

495
00:22:20.279 --> 00:22:22.680
to me ty that if they ever embody me, it's

496
00:22:23.000 --> 00:22:23.640
more than ever.

497
00:22:23.720 --> 00:22:25.960
He was like, just let it out. That's what he

498
00:22:26.039 --> 00:22:30.400
told me. Just let it out. And I haven't looked back.

499
00:22:30.920 --> 00:22:32.400
And so I was able to rip off the weight

500
00:22:32.440 --> 00:22:35.359
that I gained, shredded all of it, and then.

501
00:22:35.240 --> 00:22:39.279
Some right like tell people because you haven't let you

502
00:22:39.359 --> 00:22:41.839
haven't like shared the full number yet. So we started

503
00:22:41.839 --> 00:22:43.880
at four to ten, right, we started at four oh

504
00:22:43.920 --> 00:22:45.279
five five, Okay.

505
00:22:45.119 --> 00:22:47.559
So I went from four oh five in twenty ten,

506
00:22:47.720 --> 00:22:51.880
and I went down to two fifty five in twenty eleven,

507
00:22:51.920 --> 00:22:54.079
and then I was up to like three twenty maybe

508
00:22:54.079 --> 00:22:55.640
three thirty, so I gained more than half of that

509
00:22:55.680 --> 00:22:56.720
weight back when I got.

510
00:22:56.559 --> 00:22:58.319
My back surgery done. And that's when he told me

511
00:22:58.359 --> 00:22:58.960
to let it out.

512
00:22:58.960 --> 00:23:01.039
And then I just I don't know what happened, but

513
00:23:01.079 --> 00:23:03.799
that it's like literally like I was like a line

514
00:23:03.839 --> 00:23:05.759
in a cage and when he said that, the cage

515
00:23:05.799 --> 00:23:08.680
is open, and here comes the lion, just coming running out,

516
00:23:09.000 --> 00:23:12.039
like running out, like really like right in front of

517
00:23:12.039 --> 00:23:14.359
a wild jungle. And I was able to shred off

518
00:23:14.359 --> 00:23:16.599
all the weight that I gained and I did lose some.

519
00:23:16.920 --> 00:23:19.000
So now I am down two hundred plus pounds. I

520
00:23:19.039 --> 00:23:20.839
am in the greatest shape of my life. I did

521
00:23:20.880 --> 00:23:23.880
get married, I did have my son. I am still

522
00:23:24.440 --> 00:23:27.680
knock on wood training two hours a day, every single day,

523
00:23:27.799 --> 00:23:29.200
like every single day.

524
00:23:29.200 --> 00:23:29.400
Man.

525
00:23:29.440 --> 00:23:31.279
Like if you hear it in my voice, like hammered

526
00:23:31.279 --> 00:23:33.960
and nail, it really sets the tone, like working out

527
00:23:34.000 --> 00:23:36.720
with my son, like playing sports with him, running around

528
00:23:36.759 --> 00:23:39.440
pain free, like everything that my wife told me that

529
00:23:39.519 --> 00:23:41.400
day in the bed, like the guy that she was like,

530
00:23:41.480 --> 00:23:44.279
that's who you are. That's exactly who I've become now

531
00:23:44.400 --> 00:23:47.359
And it is the greatest feeling ever. And That's my

532
00:23:47.920 --> 00:23:51.079
core message to everybody is if you heard this entire story, man,

533
00:23:51.200 --> 00:23:54.039
like any wall in your life is truly meant to

534
00:23:54.079 --> 00:23:55.480
be broken, it truly is.

535
00:23:55.519 --> 00:23:58.440
And whatever you're going through right now in this moment, if.

536
00:23:58.319 --> 00:24:00.519
You feel as though you're a rock bottom, I've shared

537
00:24:00.599 --> 00:24:02.880
I've hit rock bottom multiple times in my life.

538
00:24:03.200 --> 00:24:05.400
You can look at it one or two ways really quickly.

539
00:24:05.440 --> 00:24:07.640
One you can look at it at it's the worst

540
00:24:07.640 --> 00:24:09.599
time of your life and we can be sad and

541
00:24:09.640 --> 00:24:11.799
we can kind of sit in it. Or you can

542
00:24:11.960 --> 00:24:15.000
look at it as you know what, dude, rock bottom

543
00:24:15.039 --> 00:24:17.240
is the best place to be because there's nowhere to

544
00:24:17.279 --> 00:24:20.839
go but up. Right, there's nowhere to go but up.

545
00:24:20.960 --> 00:24:24.119
Every major setback in your life is truly set up

546
00:24:24.119 --> 00:24:26.279
for a major comeback. And you're looking at a guy

547
00:24:26.279 --> 00:24:29.720
who's lived it. I've breathed it, I've smelled it, I've

548
00:24:29.799 --> 00:24:33.279
tasted it, and.

549
00:24:32.079 --> 00:24:34.400
And I'm here and we're we're rolling, and I just

550
00:24:34.519 --> 00:24:35.519
hope my dad is proud.

551
00:24:36.519 --> 00:24:39.680
He is. He is absolutely so proud. And how old

552
00:24:39.720 --> 00:24:39.960
are you?

553
00:24:40.799 --> 00:24:47.359
Forty three? Forty? We did we did? We did? We did?

554
00:24:47.519 --> 00:24:50.640
He did know He is so proud, And I want

555
00:24:50.680 --> 00:24:53.200
to thank you for walking us through and for not

556
00:24:53.279 --> 00:24:59.200
truncating it, because every single bump mattered, every single wall mattered,

557
00:24:59.599 --> 00:25:03.319
and your decision to keep showing up for yourself mattered

558
00:25:03.359 --> 00:25:05.319
then and it matters now because here we are having

559
00:25:05.359 --> 00:25:08.519
this incredible conversation and now you can tell people you

560
00:25:08.599 --> 00:25:11.759
have developed this wallbreaker method. And I'd love for you

561
00:25:11.880 --> 00:25:14.240
to kind of for somebody that's new to what the

562
00:25:14.279 --> 00:25:17.000
method is, can you kind of like summarize it for

563
00:25:17.079 --> 00:25:20.000
us so that we can like, what's particularly like, what's

564
00:25:20.079 --> 00:25:23.079
one thing that somebody can do today to start being

565
00:25:23.160 --> 00:25:24.880
better at breaking the walls in their life.

566
00:25:25.039 --> 00:25:27.880
No, that's a great question, and I would honestly tell

567
00:25:27.880 --> 00:25:31.160
you the very first step to the wallbreaker method. The

568
00:25:31.359 --> 00:25:34.759
very first step is the hardest step. So I want

569
00:25:34.799 --> 00:25:37.039
to stress that very clearly. It is the hardest step.

570
00:25:37.440 --> 00:25:39.559
But I will say if you can find a way

571
00:25:39.759 --> 00:25:43.200
to really achieve this first step, I promise you everything

572
00:25:43.240 --> 00:25:45.680
else will be easier. So what is the first step?

573
00:25:45.960 --> 00:25:49.200
The first step You have to find a way to

574
00:25:49.319 --> 00:25:52.000
look in the mirror, and you have to tell yourself

575
00:25:52.279 --> 00:25:56.559
the truth, not sugarcoating it, not saying I'm in this

576
00:25:56.680 --> 00:26:01.640
situation because of he or she Oryz or this person

577
00:26:01.960 --> 00:26:06.240
or a situation or anything else or anyone else or

578
00:26:06.279 --> 00:26:12.079
any organization anything else like that. You have to look

579
00:26:12.160 --> 00:26:15.279
in the mirror, and you have to tell yourself the

580
00:26:15.519 --> 00:26:19.359
truth and admit it and own it and live in it,

581
00:26:19.440 --> 00:26:22.680
and take a minute to understand. I was four hundred

582
00:26:22.680 --> 00:26:25.079
and five pounds. I was broken. My heart was a

583
00:26:25.119 --> 00:26:27.880
walking time bomb. I didn't want to admit it. I

584
00:26:27.880 --> 00:26:30.240
didn't want to accept it. I wanted to run away

585
00:26:30.279 --> 00:26:32.640
from it and not run through it. My father was

586
00:26:32.680 --> 00:26:34.920
the only reason why I was able to open my

587
00:26:34.960 --> 00:26:39.279
eyes and find truly understand I had a problem. I

588
00:26:39.359 --> 00:26:41.079
never wanted to admit it. And God willing, I don't

589
00:26:41.079 --> 00:26:42.240
know if I'm here if he didn't do what he

590
00:26:42.279 --> 00:26:45.119
did for me. He saved my life. But you have

591
00:26:45.200 --> 00:26:47.839
to tell yourself the truth. Man, you can't play the

592
00:26:47.839 --> 00:26:51.440
blame game. You have to tell yourself the truth, whether

593
00:26:51.480 --> 00:26:53.880
it's fair or not. You have to tell yourself the truth.

594
00:26:54.319 --> 00:26:55.799
And he also said and you have to look in

595
00:26:55.799 --> 00:26:59.000
the mirror and reheal. I made a mental note for

596
00:26:59.079 --> 00:27:02.480
myself that I've been getting feedback about the show that

597
00:27:02.599 --> 00:27:05.319
I need to share a little bit more about me

598
00:27:05.640 --> 00:27:08.720
and my story. As part of the conversation, and I

599
00:27:08.759 --> 00:27:11.440
thought that I would do that if the moment felt right.

600
00:27:12.119 --> 00:27:15.319
And you not only said eleven eleven, you've not only

601
00:27:15.359 --> 00:27:19.599
lost an incredible amount of weight, and also you said

602
00:27:19.720 --> 00:27:22.000
look in the mirror and tell yourself the truth. And

603
00:27:22.079 --> 00:27:25.319
I need to tell myself the truth, which is I

604
00:27:25.359 --> 00:27:26.400
avoided the mirror.

605
00:27:27.279 --> 00:27:27.680
I did.

606
00:27:28.039 --> 00:27:30.960
I like legitimately could not look at I. I would

607
00:27:31.160 --> 00:27:33.240
get out of the shower and be so grateful that

608
00:27:33.279 --> 00:27:35.480
like it was steamy right like, and I wouldn't look

609
00:27:35.480 --> 00:27:38.960
because I've very very humble, got a very small house

610
00:27:38.960 --> 00:27:41.960
with a very one little shower, bathroom, you know, and

611
00:27:42.279 --> 00:27:44.240
there's not a lot of space in there to hide.

612
00:27:44.720 --> 00:27:49.319
But I managed to hide myself from the mirror for years,

613
00:27:49.519 --> 00:27:51.960
like literally, like there's a chunk of my life that

614
00:27:52.000 --> 00:27:54.680
I couldn't look in the mirror. So people, you know,

615
00:27:54.960 --> 00:27:58.279
have seen me for the last year or two posting

616
00:27:58.319 --> 00:28:01.640
a lot of like mirror selfies, and I think of

617
00:28:01.640 --> 00:28:04.720
a more like reflections because there, you know, it takes

618
00:28:04.720 --> 00:28:06.319
it to it a little bit of a deeper level,

619
00:28:06.359 --> 00:28:09.759
but it's it's it's been something that I've done to

620
00:28:09.839 --> 00:28:14.799
practice because I lost eighty pounds and about twenty inches

621
00:28:14.839 --> 00:28:15.559
off of my waist.

622
00:28:15.839 --> 00:28:18.240
Oh that's incredible, thank you.

623
00:28:18.440 --> 00:28:22.480
And that was a very forced situation because my liver

624
00:28:22.640 --> 00:28:25.279
was shutting down, which is something unfortunately you know a

625
00:28:25.319 --> 00:28:29.640
lot about, and you know the doctors, you know, the

626
00:28:29.680 --> 00:28:32.759
doctors were treating me like it was really really bad,

627
00:28:32.880 --> 00:28:35.000
like they were And this happened during COVID was like

628
00:28:35.000 --> 00:28:37.319
twenty twenty. I was in the hospital and there was

629
00:28:37.319 --> 00:28:39.839
all these like extra precautions that they needed to take

630
00:28:39.839 --> 00:28:42.920
with like the big pep suits and stuff like Steve

631
00:28:42.920 --> 00:28:44.960
couldn't even my husband couldn't even come visit me really

632
00:28:45.039 --> 00:28:47.039
like he had to like only a certain amount of time.

633
00:28:47.079 --> 00:28:50.400
It was. It was all a nightmare, So thank you.

634
00:28:50.480 --> 00:28:53.640
And the doctors were surprised that my brain worked as

635
00:28:53.640 --> 00:28:55.400
well as it did because my body was in such

636
00:28:55.400 --> 00:28:59.440
bad shape. So I saw that, as you know, like

637
00:28:59.440 --> 00:29:01.680
you said, like bottom, there's nowhere to go but up.

638
00:29:01.720 --> 00:29:03.960
And that's why, like every single word of Quick Before

639
00:29:04.000 --> 00:29:07.000
You Forget, like my description just for for anybody that

640
00:29:07.119 --> 00:29:10.680
for anyone that forgot. Quick Before You Forget is a

641
00:29:10.680 --> 00:29:14.240
personal growth and development podcast aimed at helping you build

642
00:29:14.240 --> 00:29:18.200
your unreal life from the ground up using tools like music,

643
00:29:18.279 --> 00:29:21.559
mindset and movement to remember who you are, what you build,

644
00:29:21.599 --> 00:29:24.200
who you were meant to be, and every single word

645
00:29:24.200 --> 00:29:27.559
there holds incredible value. But the part about being on

646
00:29:27.599 --> 00:29:30.839
the ground is legit and something you know a lot about.

647
00:29:30.920 --> 00:29:33.960
So I just wanted to share with people because you know,

648
00:29:34.079 --> 00:29:37.000
I have struggled with opening up about that. And then

649
00:29:37.000 --> 00:29:39.480
you said, you know, you have to look in the mirror,

650
00:29:39.519 --> 00:29:41.839
and I'm like, you know, these people see me posting

651
00:29:41.839 --> 00:29:43.799
these goofy pictures of myself in the mirror, and that

652
00:29:43.960 --> 00:29:46.839
it's all part of my healing. It's been all part

653
00:29:46.880 --> 00:29:49.440
of my journey to say, you're you know, you have

654
00:29:49.519 --> 00:29:53.279
to love yourself enough to be honest with yourself about

655
00:29:53.319 --> 00:29:56.160
what's going on, where you're at, how you're feeling, and

656
00:29:56.240 --> 00:29:58.519
you can't do any of the hard work even if

657
00:29:58.559 --> 00:30:03.440
it hurts, especially when it hurts honestly, and then you

658
00:30:03.519 --> 00:30:06.240
need to love yourself even more in those moments and

659
00:30:06.359 --> 00:30:07.920
have more grace with yourself than.

660
00:30:08.079 --> 00:30:10.519
Always remember the truth hurts, but in the end, lies

661
00:30:10.599 --> 00:30:11.079
hurt more.

662
00:30:12.200 --> 00:30:14.839
Yes, thank you for that fire pomp.

663
00:30:16.400 --> 00:30:17.480
But I mean it's truth.

664
00:30:17.599 --> 00:30:20.319
I mean it's honest, the truth, Like if you keep

665
00:30:20.400 --> 00:30:24.680
lying to yourself and you keep putting this illusion in

666
00:30:24.720 --> 00:30:27.599
your brain that I am not in a position of success.

667
00:30:27.680 --> 00:30:33.559
Whatever that success is, my relationship, my marriage, girlfriend, boyfriend, work, finances, corporate,

668
00:30:33.599 --> 00:30:36.640
whatever you know. At the end of the day, if

669
00:30:36.640 --> 00:30:40.240
you are consistently playing the blame game, or you are

670
00:30:40.839 --> 00:30:44.720
placing whatever negativity that is going on in your life,

671
00:30:44.720 --> 00:30:47.640
and you're placing it elsewhere, and you're looking in the

672
00:30:47.680 --> 00:30:50.680
mirror and it's going here, here, here, here, you're never

673
00:30:50.880 --> 00:30:55.000
going to even get to step two, step three, step four.

674
00:30:55.039 --> 00:30:57.519
It doesn't matter. That's why I stress in my framework

675
00:30:57.599 --> 00:31:01.759
step one, go in the mirror and tell yourself the truth,

676
00:31:01.880 --> 00:31:04.920
because I promise you ty, if nobody can do that,

677
00:31:05.279 --> 00:31:08.000
you will never be able to go from point A

678
00:31:08.160 --> 00:31:10.039
to point b, which is also a.

679
00:31:09.960 --> 00:31:10.920
Part of my framework.

680
00:31:11.160 --> 00:31:14.200
I tell everybody very simple plan in the next five seconds, right,

681
00:31:14.200 --> 00:31:15.720
you want to get from point A to point b

682
00:31:15.880 --> 00:31:18.200
whatever it is in your life. I want to be

683
00:31:18.240 --> 00:31:20.160
a doctor, I want to be a lawyer. I want

684
00:31:20.160 --> 00:31:22.400
to be a podcaster. I want to go to Spain.

685
00:31:22.519 --> 00:31:24.920
I want to go to Tahiti. I want to buy

686
00:31:24.960 --> 00:31:27.119
a Bentley. Whatever it is, point A to point b.

687
00:31:27.440 --> 00:31:30.000
But the beauty is is the plan is very simple

688
00:31:30.119 --> 00:31:32.440
point A to point B. But you're gonna have one

689
00:31:32.559 --> 00:31:35.279
big wall or a ton of walls in front of you. Now,

690
00:31:35.279 --> 00:31:37.640
if you run away from all of those walls, you're

691
00:31:37.640 --> 00:31:38.680
never gonna get to point B.

692
00:31:38.960 --> 00:31:42.599
But if you have that courage to take that shoulder.

693
00:31:42.200 --> 00:31:45.640
And just run through every single wall that stands in

694
00:31:45.680 --> 00:31:47.839
your way and you finally get to point B, it

695
00:31:47.920 --> 00:31:50.960
is the most beautiful feeling ever. And that's why I

696
00:31:51.000 --> 00:31:53.400
give more of a credit. And even though I lost

697
00:31:53.440 --> 00:31:55.359
two hundred plus pounds and knock on what I was

698
00:31:55.400 --> 00:31:58.039
able to accomplish what I accomplished, I look at people

699
00:31:58.160 --> 00:32:00.759
like yourself right now, first and four almost incredible.

700
00:32:00.759 --> 00:32:02.359
I'm so proud of you. That is amazing. I had

701
00:32:02.359 --> 00:32:03.240
no idea about that.

702
00:32:03.319 --> 00:32:06.079
I mean, it's a phenomenal accomplishment, man, and that needs

703
00:32:06.119 --> 00:32:09.400
to be celebrated and deserve. People like my wife, you know,

704
00:32:09.720 --> 00:32:12.000
seeing what she went through man for like a year.

705
00:32:12.119 --> 00:32:15.119
I mean people that weren't around that didn't see how

706
00:32:15.160 --> 00:32:17.279
hard she had to work to have our sun, all

707
00:32:17.319 --> 00:32:19.440
the walls that she had to break. I mean it

708
00:32:19.480 --> 00:32:22.440
was just incredible, but she had to own it. It's

709
00:32:22.559 --> 00:32:25.359
like whether it was my wall, and I loved how

710
00:32:25.359 --> 00:32:27.440
she kept reframing it. She was like, it's our wall.

711
00:32:27.440 --> 00:32:28.920
We're going to do it together, you know.

712
00:32:29.279 --> 00:32:32.839
So I'm so glad you found the support system you needed,

713
00:32:32.880 --> 00:32:35.880
because early on in your story you talked about how

714
00:32:36.640 --> 00:32:39.480
people that you thought you trusted were laughing at you

715
00:32:40.240 --> 00:32:44.480
and bullying you, and like you had. It's not an

716
00:32:44.480 --> 00:32:48.000
easy thing to go from that to trusting people with

717
00:32:48.079 --> 00:32:50.599
your heart, and you were able to do that, which

718
00:32:50.599 --> 00:32:51.480
is incredible to me.

719
00:32:52.160 --> 00:32:53.240
I appreciate it, Thank you.

720
00:32:53.279 --> 00:32:56.160
And I think on a deeper level, it's very small

721
00:32:56.240 --> 00:32:59.119
and what I mean by that is my wife, my son.

722
00:32:59.359 --> 00:33:02.119
Obviously I have like very close I would say less

723
00:33:02.160 --> 00:33:04.279
than maybe a handful of people where I could truly

724
00:33:04.319 --> 00:33:06.599
say and I think one other lesson that I want

725
00:33:06.640 --> 00:33:10.160
to teach everybody. Nobody in life is going to be

726
00:33:10.400 --> 00:33:14.759
a bigger supporter or should be a bigger supporter of you,

727
00:33:15.319 --> 00:33:19.680
for you, except you. You need to be your biggest fan,

728
00:33:19.960 --> 00:33:22.920
right everybody else in your life if they're truly your

729
00:33:23.319 --> 00:33:24.319
core people in your.

730
00:33:24.200 --> 00:33:26.279
Life, even my wife and my son.

731
00:33:26.599 --> 00:33:28.640
As much as I love them and endure them and

732
00:33:28.680 --> 00:33:31.160
there are I do everything, I do everything for them,

733
00:33:31.640 --> 00:33:32.759
I have to be my.

734
00:33:32.720 --> 00:33:35.400
Biggest fan I have to be my biggest supporter.

735
00:33:35.119 --> 00:33:37.319
Because I'm the one that's getting up at five point

736
00:33:37.319 --> 00:33:39.119
thirty in the morning, and I'm the one that's going

737
00:33:39.200 --> 00:33:42.160
out shoveling snow and cracking ice.

738
00:33:42.200 --> 00:33:43.480
And I'm the one that's going to the.

739
00:33:43.519 --> 00:33:45.680
Gym and hammering away, and I'm the one that's putting

740
00:33:45.720 --> 00:33:47.960
in the hours, and I'm the one that's sacrificing the

741
00:33:48.000 --> 00:33:51.640
time and whatever emotions I'm going through, whatever pain I'm

742
00:33:51.640 --> 00:33:53.960
going through, I will always have them as my support

743
00:33:54.000 --> 00:33:56.519
system always and whoever that can be for anybody in

744
00:33:56.519 --> 00:33:59.559
your life close family members, friends, siblings, parents, et cetera.

745
00:34:00.000 --> 00:34:02.519
And it starts with you. You have to be the driving

746
00:34:02.559 --> 00:34:03.519
force of you.

747
00:34:03.519 --> 00:34:05.759
You have to be the biggest fan of you, and

748
00:34:05.799 --> 00:34:08.400
then everybody else will kind of follow you, right like

749
00:34:08.440 --> 00:34:10.360
your team will follow you. It's just like in sports.

750
00:34:10.719 --> 00:34:12.719
You have to learn how to be the leader and

751
00:34:12.760 --> 00:34:16.320
the best player for your team, and then everybody else

752
00:34:16.360 --> 00:34:18.920
will follow you, right. But you have to set that

753
00:34:19.000 --> 00:34:21.880
tone as the leader, as the individual, as that person

754
00:34:21.920 --> 00:34:23.760
that everyone is like, oh my god.

755
00:34:23.840 --> 00:34:25.760
It's the same concept of life. Man.

756
00:34:25.840 --> 00:34:28.039
That's how you are a wall breaker. And I think

757
00:34:28.320 --> 00:34:31.239
to your point you mentioned the bullying piece now I know.

758
00:34:31.440 --> 00:34:34.559
I think also the biggest mistake that I learned from

759
00:34:34.760 --> 00:34:38.320
was you want kind of people to have your back, right, Oh,

760
00:34:38.400 --> 00:34:40.800
I want people to kind of stop, Like I would

761
00:34:41.000 --> 00:34:43.719
wish for people to kind of stop and step in

762
00:34:43.800 --> 00:34:46.320
and be like, hey, you know, maybe somebody can help

763
00:34:46.360 --> 00:34:48.960
me stop being embarrassed or bullied or made fun of.

764
00:34:49.039 --> 00:34:52.800
But then you realize over time it's not their responsibility.

765
00:34:52.840 --> 00:34:54.639
As much as I would hate so many people for

766
00:34:54.719 --> 00:34:56.719
never sticking up for me or standing up for me,

767
00:34:57.079 --> 00:34:59.679
I learned over time, whether it's fair or not, that

768
00:35:00.599 --> 00:35:03.159
honestly it was probably the best thing that happened to me,

769
00:35:03.360 --> 00:35:07.679
because that's where I truly learned, you know, in those callouses,

770
00:35:07.719 --> 00:35:11.119
in those moments of falling down and being broken and

771
00:35:11.199 --> 00:35:14.400
being shattered in half. That that gave me that resilience,

772
00:35:14.440 --> 00:35:17.800
that toughness, that mental fortitude to understand, I am my

773
00:35:17.840 --> 00:35:18.639
biggest supporter.

774
00:35:19.000 --> 00:35:21.199
If somebody has something to say to me, I need

775
00:35:21.239 --> 00:35:23.159
to be the one to step up for myself.

776
00:35:23.440 --> 00:35:26.079
If anybody else wants to join truly and support me,

777
00:35:26.480 --> 00:35:28.239
I would love it and I would appreciate it. But

778
00:35:28.400 --> 00:35:30.960
you have to be the biggest supporter and fan of

779
00:35:31.000 --> 00:35:33.280
you first and then let everybody else follow if that

780
00:35:33.280 --> 00:35:33.840
makes sense.

781
00:35:34.000 --> 00:35:36.480
It does, and it's I think it's hard for people

782
00:35:36.519 --> 00:35:39.199
because people don't want to seem self serving, right, Like

783
00:35:39.519 --> 00:35:42.559
there's a hard balance there for people to actually be

784
00:35:42.599 --> 00:35:44.800
able to do that without feeling like they're being like

785
00:35:44.880 --> 00:35:48.480
cocky or BRIGGI or whatever. But it's so important, and

786
00:35:48.519 --> 00:35:51.079
it's it's hard. It's really hard, especially when you're like

787
00:35:51.119 --> 00:35:54.039
a public person, like you're trying to build a brand

788
00:35:54.159 --> 00:35:57.519
or you're trying to you know, like it's a delicate

789
00:35:57.599 --> 00:36:02.559
line to walk. But my question for you specific to

790
00:36:02.639 --> 00:36:06.559
this is a lot of us, know, like a lot

791
00:36:06.599 --> 00:36:10.039
of us have like a feeling like there's something pulling

792
00:36:10.079 --> 00:36:13.239
on our heart or something more than like our life.

793
00:36:13.320 --> 00:36:16.480
Like we're in our life and we've gotten a lot

794
00:36:16.480 --> 00:36:20.440
of us get very comfy, cozy in what's easier than

795
00:36:20.719 --> 00:36:23.840
the heart and doing a lot of what you're saying

796
00:36:24.199 --> 00:36:26.639
can feel very hard and overwhelming for people. So how

797
00:36:26.800 --> 00:36:28.119
how do people bridge that gap?

798
00:36:28.159 --> 00:36:28.239
Like?

799
00:36:28.280 --> 00:36:31.320
How do people make that first step? What coaching do

800
00:36:31.360 --> 00:36:33.519
you have for people to get going and get started?

801
00:36:33.719 --> 00:36:35.639
I love that you asked this question, so I should

802
00:36:35.639 --> 00:36:37.519
give you a great story that I went through and

803
00:36:37.559 --> 00:36:40.000
I really hope this can help everybody out there. So

804
00:36:40.079 --> 00:36:42.199
I remember when I was training my first year, I

805
00:36:42.239 --> 00:36:44.000
was four hundred and five pounds like we talked about,

806
00:36:44.000 --> 00:36:46.039
and I lost one hundred and fifty. But obviously a

807
00:36:46.119 --> 00:36:48.880
lot of walls you have to break during that journey.

808
00:36:48.920 --> 00:36:50.039
It definitely was not that's.

809
00:36:49.960 --> 00:36:52.400
An entire human like that's the thing that people you

810
00:36:52.440 --> 00:36:54.400
say the number like, and it's like, no, that's like

811
00:36:54.639 --> 00:36:57.800
that's like more than my my twelve year old I'm

812
00:36:57.840 --> 00:36:58.239
telling you.

813
00:36:58.320 --> 00:36:59.559
And then I kind of pretty much had to do

814
00:36:59.559 --> 00:37:01.559
it all over again, right, so I like, you know,

815
00:37:01.639 --> 00:37:03.400
I had to rebuild and bring it back up. But

816
00:37:03.760 --> 00:37:05.840
I remember this one core lesson that I learned, and

817
00:37:05.880 --> 00:37:07.639
I really hope this answers your question and for the

818
00:37:07.679 --> 00:37:10.639
audience to understand. But I remember sitting in the sauna,

819
00:37:11.119 --> 00:37:13.400
and I remember I was down maybe like thirty or

820
00:37:13.440 --> 00:37:15.760
forty pounds on my journey, but man, it was tough,

821
00:37:15.800 --> 00:37:18.360
like I really hit like a wall per se literally

822
00:37:18.440 --> 00:37:20.199
like my body was broken down.

823
00:37:20.239 --> 00:37:22.480
I was exhausted and mentally exhausted.

824
00:37:22.000 --> 00:37:24.280
Because again you gotta remember I was four hundred and

825
00:37:24.280 --> 00:37:26.880
five pounds, but I wasn't moving and shaking like this

826
00:37:27.000 --> 00:37:28.679
for a long time. It's truly like when you have

827
00:37:28.719 --> 00:37:30.719
a car and it's sitting in the garage for like

828
00:37:30.760 --> 00:37:33.039
ten years and then you're starting it back up, it's

829
00:37:33.079 --> 00:37:35.800
not gonna run as smooth right after ten years of

830
00:37:35.840 --> 00:37:37.719
sitting in the shed, right, And that's how the human

831
00:37:37.719 --> 00:37:38.519
body can be too.

832
00:37:38.559 --> 00:37:41.599
Sometimes. I didn't exercise like that occasionally here.

833
00:37:41.480 --> 00:37:43.920
There, but now like on this rigor intense program that

834
00:37:43.960 --> 00:37:46.760
I was at, So I remember, nonetheless, I was in

835
00:37:46.800 --> 00:37:48.880
the sauna and I remember this big guy walked in

836
00:37:49.000 --> 00:37:50.880
like just jacked out of his mind, and I'm like

837
00:37:51.199 --> 00:37:53.920
staring at him pretty hard, and he's staring at me,

838
00:37:54.360 --> 00:37:56.880
and then like I think he's like I was like

839
00:37:56.920 --> 00:37:59.159
trying to like fight him or something, and I was like, uh,

840
00:37:59.519 --> 00:38:01.679
He's like I know you, And I was like no, no, no,

841
00:38:01.719 --> 00:38:05.000
And I was honestly like looking at his physique because

842
00:38:05.000 --> 00:38:07.000
I was like, man, like that's the kind of physique

843
00:38:07.039 --> 00:38:08.920
that I was dreaming about. Like, man, this guy's like

844
00:38:09.000 --> 00:38:12.360
just ripped, confident, looking good. So I was like no.

845
00:38:12.440 --> 00:38:13.679
I was like, listen, do you want have to ask

846
00:38:13.719 --> 00:38:15.960
you a question? He was like yeah, what's up? I

847
00:38:16.000 --> 00:38:17.599
was like hey, I was like, oh, man, I was like,

848
00:38:17.639 --> 00:38:19.559
can you give me some advice or tips because I'm

849
00:38:19.599 --> 00:38:21.719
you know, I'm on a journey, a fitness journey, and

850
00:38:21.760 --> 00:38:24.440
I'm trying to get to certain goals and how do

851
00:38:24.559 --> 00:38:26.800
I get to, you know, that next level?

852
00:38:26.960 --> 00:38:28.559
And he was like, what do you mean? It was like,

853
00:38:28.599 --> 00:38:30.280
it's really funny. He's like, what do you mean? He said,

854
00:38:30.360 --> 00:38:30.920
what's your goal?

855
00:38:30.960 --> 00:38:36.440
I said, well, I'm trying to look like you.

856
00:38:34.559 --> 00:38:36.920
You know what I mean, without being creepy.

857
00:38:36.719 --> 00:38:40.159
Exactly, without being like overly creepy. It's like really creepy, yeah, exactly,

858
00:38:40.360 --> 00:38:41.639
all right. And then he was like, well, let me

859
00:38:41.639 --> 00:38:43.960
ask you this. He'said, what are you doing now? Where

860
00:38:44.000 --> 00:38:44.440
are you at?

861
00:38:44.719 --> 00:38:46.960
I said, well, listen, I started at four hundred and

862
00:38:47.000 --> 00:38:49.960
five pounds, I'm down thirty or forty pounds and I'm

863
00:38:49.960 --> 00:38:52.239
trying to lose another I have to lose another one

864
00:38:52.320 --> 00:38:54.280
hundred and some pounds left. And he was a hold on,

865
00:38:54.320 --> 00:38:57.199
stop right there, No, you don't And I said, okay,

866
00:38:57.239 --> 00:39:00.480
excuse me. He was like, don't say that you have

867
00:39:00.559 --> 00:39:02.920
to lose one hundred and some pounds. I'm like, well,

868
00:39:02.920 --> 00:39:05.039
what do you mean? Can you help me elaborate? He's like, listen,

869
00:39:05.360 --> 00:39:07.800
he was like, put it this way. He was like,

870
00:39:08.079 --> 00:39:10.920
imagine if I was building a house and you're my

871
00:39:11.000 --> 00:39:14.639
construction worker. Okay, I hired you. I have my house

872
00:39:14.679 --> 00:39:17.760
built out on my map or whatever on my blueprint.

873
00:39:18.079 --> 00:39:21.199
I need a construction worker to build it. I hired you,

874
00:39:21.639 --> 00:39:23.719
and I'm giving you the blueprint to build my house.

875
00:39:23.880 --> 00:39:24.239
Okay.

876
00:39:24.719 --> 00:39:26.760
I give it to you on a Sunday night. Okay,

877
00:39:26.800 --> 00:39:28.800
So Sunday night, I agree that you're my guy.

878
00:39:28.840 --> 00:39:31.119
I hired you. You're going to build my house. Got

879
00:39:31.199 --> 00:39:31.639
it great?

880
00:39:32.159 --> 00:39:34.960
Monday morning comes, I'm going to call you and say, hey,

881
00:39:35.079 --> 00:39:37.800
is my house ready? What's your response going to be?

882
00:39:38.639 --> 00:39:41.920
So I'm like okay, and I'm still trying to follow

883
00:39:41.960 --> 00:39:44.400
this plan. He was like how He was like, my

884
00:39:44.519 --> 00:39:48.840
point is is building a house takes time. Right, It's

885
00:39:48.880 --> 00:39:51.840
going to take a long time to build a house

886
00:39:51.920 --> 00:39:55.280
that I want to build. So and how do you

887
00:39:55.320 --> 00:39:59.639
also build a house my brick by brick exactly. So

888
00:39:59.679 --> 00:40:03.119
he was like, stop setting these insurmountable goals and putting

889
00:40:03.159 --> 00:40:04.960
all this excess pressure on yourself.

890
00:40:05.320 --> 00:40:08.199
He was like, just set small goals as.

891
00:40:08.079 --> 00:40:10.880
Small as they possibly can be, and when you hit

892
00:40:10.920 --> 00:40:13.880
that very small goal, he was like, then stack it

893
00:40:13.960 --> 00:40:16.280
on break by Brick. So, for example, I was like

894
00:40:16.360 --> 00:40:18.840
three sixty nine at that time, or maybe like three

895
00:40:18.920 --> 00:40:20.639
sixty four at that time, something like that.

896
00:40:20.960 --> 00:40:23.440
And then he was like okay, because he asked me,

897
00:40:23.440 --> 00:40:25.320
what's your weight right now? So I'm like three sixty four.

898
00:40:25.360 --> 00:40:25.960
He's like okay.

899
00:40:26.119 --> 00:40:28.079
He was like, every day you come on in here,

900
00:40:28.079 --> 00:40:29.679
and I feel like this is the best part. He

901
00:40:29.760 --> 00:40:32.960
was like, every day you come in here, your only goal.

902
00:40:33.400 --> 00:40:36.039
Your only goal should be to get to three fifty nine,

903
00:40:36.480 --> 00:40:39.679
three fifty nine. I don't want to hear anything else.

904
00:40:39.719 --> 00:40:41.679
And then he was like, once you get to three

905
00:40:41.800 --> 00:40:44.599
fifty nine, then your only goal should be to get

906
00:40:44.639 --> 00:40:47.760
to three forty nine and then three thirty nine. And

907
00:40:47.800 --> 00:40:50.239
I see your face because that's exactly how I felt.

908
00:40:50.239 --> 00:40:52.440
And I'm telling you ty when he told me that,

909
00:40:52.440 --> 00:40:55.440
that was exactly the moment what I needed, and that

910
00:40:55.599 --> 00:40:58.440
really helped put gasoline inside of me. I was like, dude,

911
00:40:58.440 --> 00:41:00.840
thank you so much. I was like, we're two grown, hot,

912
00:41:00.840 --> 00:41:03.039
sweaty men. Otherwise I would hug you right now, and

913
00:41:03.079 --> 00:41:06.239
I'd be like abnormally creepy, weird, like trying to hug

914
00:41:06.239 --> 00:41:08.159
this super jack guy who I'm like stalking in the

915
00:41:08.199 --> 00:41:09.920
freaking sauna of off people.

916
00:41:09.960 --> 00:41:12.480
But I'm like, dude, thank you so much.

917
00:41:12.519 --> 00:41:15.199
But he was like, listen, that's exactly my point, man,

918
00:41:15.519 --> 00:41:18.519
just set small goals. So to answer your question, whatever

919
00:41:18.639 --> 00:41:21.480
your life is, man, you have zero dollars in the bank,

920
00:41:21.639 --> 00:41:22.800
just go get one dollar.

921
00:41:23.559 --> 00:41:25.800
Just go find a way to make one dollar. That's it.

922
00:41:25.880 --> 00:41:26.280
That's it.

923
00:41:26.519 --> 00:41:28.400
Don't go tell yourself I got to go make one

924
00:41:28.440 --> 00:41:31.719
hundred thousand dollars or two or just go get one dollar.

925
00:41:31.880 --> 00:41:33.840
Okay, one dollar. That's it.

926
00:41:34.159 --> 00:41:37.599
If you any like any goal in life, whatever you're

927
00:41:37.599 --> 00:41:41.280
trying to achieve, just set a very small.

928
00:41:41.119 --> 00:41:43.360
Microscopic goal. That's it.

929
00:41:43.480 --> 00:41:45.960
And then add on top of that, on top of that,

930
00:41:46.400 --> 00:41:48.199
brick by brick by brick.

931
00:41:48.280 --> 00:41:50.760
That's how the house is built, That's how the body

932
00:41:50.840 --> 00:41:53.559
is built. That's how life is built. That's what I

933
00:41:53.599 --> 00:41:54.039
got for you.

934
00:41:54.360 --> 00:41:57.559
That's how life is built. Drunk in the fight, I am.

935
00:41:58.440 --> 00:42:00.760
You like that? Yeah, you like that. You're bringing the

936
00:42:00.800 --> 00:42:02.599
best out of me, man, you're bringing the best out

937
00:42:02.599 --> 00:42:02.719
of it.

938
00:42:02.840 --> 00:42:04.920
Well, that's that is That is so nice of you

939
00:42:05.000 --> 00:42:08.199
to say thank you. And my name is Tyler, which

940
00:42:08.280 --> 00:42:11.880
means bricklayer, So you know, I'm just like brick by brick, baby,

941
00:42:11.960 --> 00:42:14.679
let's go. Like I am here for the energy, I'm

942
00:42:14.679 --> 00:42:17.079
here for the bricks. I'm here for the process. And

943
00:42:17.559 --> 00:42:20.519
we celebrate those small winds, right Like that's the other thing,

944
00:42:20.639 --> 00:42:23.199
Like you you set these little micro goals and then

945
00:42:23.239 --> 00:42:26.320
you find ways to celebrate the winds, and that's you know.

946
00:42:26.440 --> 00:42:30.159
I've I've been trying. I've been trying to get to

947
00:42:30.199 --> 00:42:32.840
I call it wonderland, like on the scale, like you know,

948
00:42:33.320 --> 00:42:35.599
under the two hundred mark for a long time. And

949
00:42:35.679 --> 00:42:37.280
oh my god, I'm sharing this on the internet.

950
00:42:38.840 --> 00:42:41.320
I'm about ready to accepting.

951
00:42:41.800 --> 00:42:46.800
I am so book, so close, so long, and we're

952
00:42:46.800 --> 00:42:49.840
almost there. We're within like a week or two, like

953
00:42:49.920 --> 00:42:53.199
it's possible. And it's been a journey for seven years.

954
00:42:53.679 --> 00:42:56.480
I wrote that in my Rachel Hollis made these start

955
00:42:56.519 --> 00:43:01.039
Today journals where you wrote down five five things, are grateful,

956
00:43:01.079 --> 00:43:03.599
four every day and ten ten goals as if you've

957
00:43:03.599 --> 00:43:07.440
already achieved them, which is a little bit like counterintuitive

958
00:43:07.440 --> 00:43:10.480
to what you just said. Sorry, but it's another It's

959
00:43:10.519 --> 00:43:13.719
interesting though, because it's it's all it's also something that's worked.

960
00:43:13.760 --> 00:43:16.880
But those big goals, like and you write them down

961
00:43:16.920 --> 00:43:18.519
as if you've already achieved them. One of them was,

962
00:43:18.599 --> 00:43:20.719
I am in Wonderland for seven years. I've writ I've

963
00:43:20.760 --> 00:43:23.920
been writing that in a Start Today journal for seven years.

964
00:43:23.719 --> 00:43:26.199
That's three pounds away radio three.

965
00:43:26.920 --> 00:43:28.960
And honestly, I could even challenge and be like, you

966
00:43:28.960 --> 00:43:31.559
know what, don't even wear the three. Just lose one more, one.

967
00:43:31.440 --> 00:43:33.599
More than you see there. It is.

968
00:43:33.880 --> 00:43:36.880
That is the mindset shift one. Don't even worry about three.

969
00:43:36.960 --> 00:43:39.440
Three is even still too much pressure. Just put one one.

970
00:43:39.639 --> 00:43:40.320
God, this is.

971
00:43:40.320 --> 00:43:43.159
Truly it break by bricks Sunday night to Monday morning.

972
00:43:43.199 --> 00:43:45.639
I mean when he said that, man, I'm like I

973
00:43:45.639 --> 00:43:47.599
had to really sit and think for a second, Like.

974
00:43:47.800 --> 00:43:49.199
I wasn't sure where that was going.

975
00:43:50.119 --> 00:43:53.440
I mean, Sunday night, blueprint, Monday morning, is my house ready?

976
00:43:53.480 --> 00:43:55.440
That's exactly how he said it to me, And on

977
00:43:55.440 --> 00:43:57.719
my mind, I'm like, he was like, obviously it's not

978
00:43:57.840 --> 00:44:01.199
ready overnight, right, right. Body is not going to be

979
00:44:01.360 --> 00:44:04.000
ready overnight, right, just like life, it's not You're not

980
00:44:04.000 --> 00:44:06.800
always going to be It's it's not an overnight success story.

981
00:44:06.880 --> 00:44:09.159
I mean, there is no such thing. It's brick by

982
00:44:09.239 --> 00:44:10.039
brick by brick.

983
00:44:10.480 --> 00:44:12.280
So I'm guessing we might have already answered it and

984
00:44:12.800 --> 00:44:14.599
all the other fire that you've led us through. But

985
00:44:15.079 --> 00:44:17.360
the question that I want to ask you is what

986
00:44:17.400 --> 00:44:19.000
you would tell twenty two year old you.

987
00:44:19.519 --> 00:44:22.760
Yeah, for sure, I would say, make your health your

988
00:44:22.760 --> 00:44:25.559
biggest priority first, and everything else will take care of itself.

989
00:44:26.199 --> 00:44:26.840
Everything else.

990
00:44:26.960 --> 00:44:33.960
You can figure out anything else in your life, finances, relationships, cars, traveling,

991
00:44:34.400 --> 00:44:37.119
whatever it is, but you're not doing any of those

992
00:44:37.159 --> 00:44:39.599
things without your health. I mean, your health first and

993
00:44:39.639 --> 00:44:41.880
then everything else. That's the tone I was telling my

994
00:44:41.920 --> 00:44:44.119
wife this the other day too. It's you know, I

995
00:44:44.159 --> 00:44:47.119
think the one thing that I'm very most proud of

996
00:44:47.360 --> 00:44:50.760
is when I come into a room with my family.

997
00:44:51.480 --> 00:44:55.320
I think I just feel very like proud because I

998
00:44:55.360 --> 00:44:57.760
feel like when my wife and my son and they

999
00:44:57.840 --> 00:45:00.360
look at me, they're like, you know, because not what

1000
00:45:00.440 --> 00:45:01.719
I do get a lot of love and I get

1001
00:45:01.760 --> 00:45:03.639
a lot of respect, and it means the absolute world

1002
00:45:03.719 --> 00:45:05.599
to me. But I'm looking at it from the lens

1003
00:45:05.639 --> 00:45:08.159
of one, like I just told you, keeping hoping my

1004
00:45:08.239 --> 00:45:10.440
dad is proud because I made a promise to him.

1005
00:45:10.440 --> 00:45:12.920
But then two, it's you know, I just want my

1006
00:45:13.159 --> 00:45:15.840
family to be proud that they have a man and

1007
00:45:15.880 --> 00:45:18.920
a father figure and a leader of the home that

1008
00:45:19.119 --> 00:45:22.519
really prioritizes his health and really understands that he's in.

1009
00:45:22.480 --> 00:45:24.679
The best shape of his life mentally.

1010
00:45:24.360 --> 00:45:27.320
And physically, and no matter what else goes through, we're

1011
00:45:27.320 --> 00:45:28.440
going to figure it out together.

1012
00:45:28.519 --> 00:45:31.199
But you're never going to be And this is part.

1013
00:45:31.039 --> 00:45:32.960
Of the talks that I always give to which is

1014
00:45:33.199 --> 00:45:35.679
if I can share really quickly, it's I always teach

1015
00:45:35.719 --> 00:45:38.480
everybody this, Like, you know, if I were to ask you,

1016
00:45:38.599 --> 00:45:40.199
I'm gonna ask you this question. If I were to

1017
00:45:40.199 --> 00:45:42.280
ask you, what's the most important part of your life,

1018
00:45:42.280 --> 00:45:43.280
what would your answer be?

1019
00:45:43.679 --> 00:45:44.239
My family?

1020
00:45:44.480 --> 00:45:45.280
My family?

1021
00:45:45.559 --> 00:45:49.800
Exactly exactly that question came when around the circle it

1022
00:45:49.840 --> 00:45:51.360
came to me, and you know what I said.

1023
00:45:51.679 --> 00:45:52.199
My answer.

1024
00:45:52.280 --> 00:45:54.840
My answer was, and this can be I guess lumped

1025
00:45:54.840 --> 00:45:56.199
in a couple of ways, but I said.

1026
00:45:56.000 --> 00:45:58.760
My training, my training, and then my family.

1027
00:45:58.800 --> 00:46:01.440
So you could put training in this bucket of health, right,

1028
00:46:01.559 --> 00:46:04.840
training health, mental, physical health, and then my family.

1029
00:46:04.920 --> 00:46:07.119
And then everyone was like, oh, that's interesting.

1030
00:46:07.159 --> 00:46:10.000
I'm like, well, how could I be How could I

1031
00:46:10.000 --> 00:46:12.039
say that my family is the most important part of

1032
00:46:12.079 --> 00:46:13.920
my life If I was twenty two year over heel

1033
00:46:13.920 --> 00:46:16.480
at four hundred and five pounds, completely broken, lost, They

1034
00:46:16.480 --> 00:46:19.159
didn't want to leave the couch, was secretly eating fast food,

1035
00:46:19.559 --> 00:46:22.159
was shy, and was just a complete shell of himself,

1036
00:46:22.239 --> 00:46:24.400
had no confidence, they didn't want to admit the truth

1037
00:46:24.400 --> 00:46:27.000
to himself, and just didn't care about life. And I

1038
00:46:27.079 --> 00:46:30.719
just wanted to live life blind with no direction in sight.

1039
00:46:31.199 --> 00:46:33.360
I can't sit here and say that that guy if

1040
00:46:33.400 --> 00:46:35.880
I had my family at twenty two, My family is

1041
00:46:35.920 --> 00:46:37.800
the most important part of my life because they're not.

1042
00:46:38.760 --> 00:46:42.039
They are not if I was twenty two year oldver heel.

1043
00:46:42.480 --> 00:46:44.599
Now you're talking a forty three year old over heel

1044
00:46:44.800 --> 00:46:47.039
who's a flat out animal now right, I mean you're

1045
00:46:47.039 --> 00:46:51.119
talking about a lion who's literally going through like Wolverine, right,

1046
00:46:51.159 --> 00:46:54.159
like Logan, just terrorizing all the bad guys. And I'm

1047
00:46:54.159 --> 00:46:55.800
getting a little hype here because I love this type

1048
00:46:55.840 --> 00:46:58.400
of stuff, but it's truly the fact of But my

1049
00:46:58.599 --> 00:47:01.400
family understands that every morning when I leave the gym,

1050
00:47:01.400 --> 00:47:05.320
and I'm taking care of myself physically, emotionally, spiritually those

1051
00:47:05.360 --> 00:47:07.400
two hours because it's all in one mental health and

1052
00:47:07.400 --> 00:47:11.480
physical health, spiritual. Now when I leave the gym, now,

1053
00:47:11.679 --> 00:47:13.639
my family is the most important part of my life.

1054
00:47:13.639 --> 00:47:16.760
My wife is getting the absolute best version of her

1055
00:47:16.840 --> 00:47:19.239
husband that she needs and deserves. And my son is

1056
00:47:19.239 --> 00:47:22.239
getting the absolute best version of his daddy that he

1057
00:47:22.320 --> 00:47:23.199
needs and deserves.

1058
00:47:23.400 --> 00:47:24.840
And this goes for women too.

1059
00:47:25.199 --> 00:47:27.880
Tell all the women, my wife, my mom, my sister,

1060
00:47:28.320 --> 00:47:31.199
my sister in law, whoever it is, relatives, all you

1061
00:47:31.320 --> 00:47:32.199
women out there too.

1062
00:47:32.360 --> 00:47:34.599
You deserve time for you.

1063
00:47:34.800 --> 00:47:39.480
Okay, your family, everybody else, do they deserve time? Yes,

1064
00:47:39.599 --> 00:47:43.119
But my advice, I wholeheardly believe your family does it.

1065
00:47:43.239 --> 00:47:45.679
If we had a pie chart, they don't have to

1066
00:47:45.719 --> 00:47:47.599
be all of your pie chart. They could even be

1067
00:47:47.760 --> 00:47:55.039
ninety five percent of your pie chart. That's fine. But you, you, you, you, you, you.

1068
00:47:54.360 --> 00:47:57.199
You need to make yourself a piece of that pie

1069
00:47:57.280 --> 00:47:59.039
chart and be the best version of you.

1070
00:47:59.199 --> 00:48:01.199
First. I don't care if you've got to block out.

1071
00:48:01.039 --> 00:48:05.360
Thirty minutes, one hour, two hours, go do yoga, you know,

1072
00:48:05.519 --> 00:48:08.800
mental health exercises, breath works or workshop whatever we got

1073
00:48:08.800 --> 00:48:11.840
these days. I don't know in twenty twenty six gym activity.

1074
00:48:12.079 --> 00:48:14.760
But I promise you, if you become the best version

1075
00:48:14.800 --> 00:48:19.559
of you, a mother, a woman, your wife, whatever it is, girlfriend,

1076
00:48:19.800 --> 00:48:21.960
as long as you work on yourself and you dedicate

1077
00:48:22.000 --> 00:48:24.880
that time to yourself, then you will be the best

1078
00:48:24.920 --> 00:48:27.960
version for everyone else in your life, family, loved ones,

1079
00:48:27.960 --> 00:48:28.400
et cetera.

1080
00:48:29.000 --> 00:48:30.599
Yeah, I can talk to that a little bit. It

1081
00:48:30.599 --> 00:48:34.119
does make sense, and it's you know, it took a

1082
00:48:34.159 --> 00:48:38.599
lot of work for my mind to accept that truth

1083
00:48:39.039 --> 00:48:42.199
because I have been very hard on myself the last

1084
00:48:43.039 --> 00:48:45.880
I'd say the last two years. I've doubled down on

1085
00:48:45.960 --> 00:48:49.079
my workout, which is, like you said, whatever your workout

1086
00:48:49.119 --> 00:48:52.320
is yoga, whatever mine is goofy and silly, and I

1087
00:48:52.480 --> 00:48:55.039
love every second of it. It's on an Oculus. It's

1088
00:48:55.079 --> 00:49:00.199
called Supernatural VR, and I feel like a warrior, like

1089
00:49:00.280 --> 00:49:03.320
I have this thing on right. I'm all ridiculous and

1090
00:49:03.320 --> 00:49:07.119
I'm flying. My arms are going every which way. I mean,

1091
00:49:07.199 --> 00:49:09.960
I could take on any alien. I mean, I've done

1092
00:49:10.000 --> 00:49:12.000
the training now, because the whole point is you've got

1093
00:49:12.000 --> 00:49:15.159
these like lightsabers in your heart, hitting these targets. And

1094
00:49:15.199 --> 00:49:17.480
I've had the I had to work through, and I

1095
00:49:17.559 --> 00:49:21.159
still have moments where I'm feeling guilty because I spend

1096
00:49:21.239 --> 00:49:25.599
that two hours on me instead of I'm wasting this time,

1097
00:49:25.920 --> 00:49:27.840
like I have this only this precious time while my

1098
00:49:27.920 --> 00:49:29.400
kids are this age and they're home and they're this

1099
00:49:29.440 --> 00:49:31.320
age and I should be talking with them. I should

1100
00:49:31.320 --> 00:49:32.880
be building like I was with that, I should be

1101
00:49:32.880 --> 00:49:36.639
doing something with them. It's been very hard, but it's

1102
00:49:36.760 --> 00:49:39.519
changed everything for good for me to have made that

1103
00:49:39.599 --> 00:49:43.760
decision to spend that time. And my workout involves mindset, music,

1104
00:49:43.800 --> 00:49:46.239
and movements, So it's all three of the things that

1105
00:49:46.280 --> 00:49:48.440
I've talked about on the show as being the tools

1106
00:49:48.480 --> 00:49:50.920
in my tool belt to build my unreal life. My

1107
00:49:50.960 --> 00:49:53.280
workouts are all three of those things. Because the coaches

1108
00:49:53.320 --> 00:49:56.159
are in there talking about how impossible is just a

1109
00:49:56.159 --> 00:49:59.599
big word thrown around by small people, and yes you can,

1110
00:49:59.719 --> 00:50:02.840
and like I've been getting these messages rewiring my own

1111
00:50:02.880 --> 00:50:05.519
brain to believe that I can do impossible.

1112
00:50:05.079 --> 00:50:07.039
Think without a doubt.

1113
00:50:07.159 --> 00:50:10.480
Yeah, freaking workout, which is amazing, and it's worth it

1114
00:50:10.519 --> 00:50:13.360
because I realize now that I'm it's because of that

1115
00:50:13.480 --> 00:50:17.639
workout that I got to go do several twenty plus

1116
00:50:17.679 --> 00:50:21.519
thousand step days in Florida with my family. Also because

1117
00:50:21.559 --> 00:50:24.239
of those workouts that I've got that I can stand

1118
00:50:24.280 --> 00:50:26.280
in theme park lines and do the roller coasters with

1119
00:50:26.320 --> 00:50:29.320
my kids. It's because of those workouts that hopefully, theoretically

1120
00:50:29.320 --> 00:50:31.239
one day I'll be able to do that stuff with

1121
00:50:31.239 --> 00:50:34.079
my grandkids, you know, like, and I'm thinking all this through,

1122
00:50:34.159 --> 00:50:37.840
and it's definitely worth it. You are worth it. So

1123
00:50:38.000 --> 00:50:40.079
for the mamas and the daddies out there who are

1124
00:50:40.199 --> 00:50:43.880
just struggling to find the time for them, my encouragement

1125
00:50:43.880 --> 00:50:46.559
would be to keep showing up anyway, because you will.

1126
00:50:46.639 --> 00:50:48.599
You will still have those feelings, You will still have

1127
00:50:48.679 --> 00:50:51.159
that guilt. You still you might still have that like

1128
00:50:51.599 --> 00:50:54.320
Jesus should be doing X Y Z instead. But it's

1129
00:50:54.400 --> 00:50:55.159
so so so.

1130
00:50:55.119 --> 00:50:58.000
Important that you don't one hundred percent agree with you

1131
00:50:58.039 --> 00:50:58.719
without a doubt.

1132
00:50:58.760 --> 00:51:01.239
I mean, doubt only exist if you let it. So

1133
00:51:01.360 --> 00:51:01.840
let's get.

1134
00:51:01.760 --> 00:51:03.880
All the doubt out of the mindset, right because if

1135
00:51:03.880 --> 00:51:07.559
it only exists if you let it. Two, don't give

1136
00:51:07.639 --> 00:51:10.239
an f bomb about what anyone else thinks or says.

1137
00:51:10.320 --> 00:51:12.760
If you look however you feel like you look, you

1138
00:51:12.800 --> 00:51:15.639
look amazing. Okay, I don't care what kind of glasses

1139
00:51:15.719 --> 00:51:18.920
or XYZ. It doesn't matter. You look amazing whatever you're doing,

1140
00:51:19.119 --> 00:51:22.159
So who cares about anybody else. We're we're not driving

1141
00:51:22.159 --> 00:51:24.119
in other lanes. We're staying in our lane. That's the

1142
00:51:24.159 --> 00:51:27.039
beauty of the highway. Right, there's multiple lanes. Forget everyone

1143
00:51:27.039 --> 00:51:29.360
else's lanes. We're staying in our lanes. So we just

1144
00:51:29.400 --> 00:51:31.320
got to stay in our lane. And then three, like

1145
00:51:31.360 --> 00:51:34.800
you said, your family, they will always you will always

1146
00:51:34.840 --> 00:51:37.079
find time for them. We talked about it the pie chart. Right,

1147
00:51:37.119 --> 00:51:39.079
you can even make them ninety five percent of your time,

1148
00:51:39.119 --> 00:51:41.880
but you gotta at least have that five percent.

1149
00:51:41.880 --> 00:51:42.960
If not more, for you.

1150
00:51:43.000 --> 00:51:44.480
And I'll tell you right now, my wife will be

1151
00:51:44.519 --> 00:51:46.519
the first one to say, I give a lot more

1152
00:51:47.000 --> 00:51:48.440
for myself, a lot more.

1153
00:51:48.760 --> 00:51:50.559
But she wouldn't have it any other way.

1154
00:51:50.800 --> 00:51:53.039
That's why on that bed when I was crying with

1155
00:51:53.119 --> 00:51:55.960
two blown discs, that's when she had told me, Man,

1156
00:51:56.079 --> 00:52:00.159
I know you, I know you, and I know it

1157
00:52:00.239 --> 00:52:03.000
drives you, and I know what you are.

1158
00:52:03.159 --> 00:52:04.199
Man, I know you.

1159
00:52:04.239 --> 00:52:06.639
Love the training and the energy and the hype and

1160
00:52:06.679 --> 00:52:08.760
the fire. And I need that guy.

1161
00:52:09.400 --> 00:52:10.360
We need that guy.

1162
00:52:10.719 --> 00:52:13.159
Yeah, we do, all of us. Do we all need

1163
00:52:13.199 --> 00:52:14.199
more of reheal in our lives?

1164
00:52:14.320 --> 00:52:16.880
No, I appreciate, I don't know about right ya. Just

1165
00:52:16.920 --> 00:52:20.239
the best version of you man. Everybody can be there. Man,

1166
00:52:20.280 --> 00:52:22.960
it's not a magic potion, it's not a secret. Just

1167
00:52:23.239 --> 00:52:25.239
find a way. I promise you you can get it. Done,

1168
00:52:25.320 --> 00:52:28.480
no additional pressure. Break by break, day by day, tell

1169
00:52:28.480 --> 00:52:30.440
yourself the truth. We'll all get there together.

1170
00:52:31.119 --> 00:52:33.199
Well, one thing I want to there's two more questions

1171
00:52:33.199 --> 00:52:36.000
that I don't want to not ask, And the first

1172
00:52:36.000 --> 00:52:38.760
one is as you're on this journey and as you're

1173
00:52:38.800 --> 00:52:41.719
feeling hype or not, because there's days when we don't right,

1174
00:52:42.280 --> 00:52:45.519
do you have a song of survival that you turn

1175
00:52:45.639 --> 00:52:49.400
to to ground yourself, to stay in, to stay excited,

1176
00:52:49.440 --> 00:52:52.199
to stay hyped. Do something come to mind?

1177
00:52:52.480 --> 00:52:55.159
Oh? Yeah, I mean, how could I go any other

1178
00:52:55.280 --> 00:52:58.719
man but the Tiger? I mean Rocky three? I mean,

1179
00:52:58.880 --> 00:52:59.320
oh my.

1180
00:52:59.239 --> 00:53:02.039
Gosh, how did I know? I just you know what

1181
00:53:02.079 --> 00:53:02.519
I should have?

1182
00:53:03.039 --> 00:53:03.559
Drops?

1183
00:53:03.599 --> 00:53:03.800
Oh?

1184
00:53:03.960 --> 00:53:06.039
Man, I mean I'm already getting Do you not hear

1185
00:53:06.079 --> 00:53:07.440
the volume? Just going right through?

1186
00:53:07.480 --> 00:53:09.719
I'll probably like breaking the walls in your house right now.

1187
00:53:10.039 --> 00:53:13.920
But I blast it every day every day because when

1188
00:53:13.920 --> 00:53:15.599
you look at a guy like Rocky beall bowl, I

1189
00:53:15.599 --> 00:53:18.079
think that's the magic and the beauty of like the

1190
00:53:18.079 --> 00:53:21.400
whole story right part one. He just wants to go

1191
00:53:21.480 --> 00:53:24.599
the distance with Apollo Creed. Just go the distance right,

1192
00:53:24.639 --> 00:53:27.000
find a way, break by brick, find a way, make

1193
00:53:27.039 --> 00:53:30.480
that small step. Everyone thinks he's gonna lose, possibly get killed,

1194
00:53:30.880 --> 00:53:32.480
and he just wants to go the distance.

1195
00:53:32.519 --> 00:53:33.559
He went the distance, and.

1196
00:53:33.519 --> 00:53:37.000
But in part two, right the whole point, he fell

1197
00:53:37.280 --> 00:53:40.760
fell in love, got married, I mean, had his baby.

1198
00:53:41.119 --> 00:53:43.559
Wife was in the coma, didn't want to fight because

1199
00:53:43.559 --> 00:53:45.719
it wasn't the same without her, And Adrian woke out

1200
00:53:45.719 --> 00:53:48.800
of that count, woke up out of that coma, and

1201
00:53:48.840 --> 00:53:51.079
she just said, there's something I want you to do

1202
00:53:51.239 --> 00:53:54.199
for me. And then he's like yeah, She's like win

1203
00:53:54.679 --> 00:53:57.320
right when, man, I mean I could go. I feel

1204
00:53:57.320 --> 00:53:59.800
like rolling and run right now, like literally right now

1205
00:54:00.039 --> 00:54:02.840
telling you that story. So it's like I the tiger,

1206
00:54:02.880 --> 00:54:05.360
and that's truly what it is, like you have it

1207
00:54:05.480 --> 00:54:07.960
in you. There's going to be everybody's gonna have those

1208
00:54:08.000 --> 00:54:10.880
bad days. Myself, so many days, my body is sore,

1209
00:54:11.360 --> 00:54:15.079
I'm hurt, I'm in pain, I'm struggling, it's cold outside.

1210
00:54:15.119 --> 00:54:16.480
I have every excuse not to go.

1211
00:54:16.800 --> 00:54:19.119
But I think the best advice for this question on

1212
00:54:19.159 --> 00:54:22.880
a deeper level, it's always go back to why you

1213
00:54:22.960 --> 00:54:25.639
started in the first place. And this might seem cliche,

1214
00:54:25.760 --> 00:54:28.519
but it's true. And even for me, it's I my

1215
00:54:28.719 --> 00:54:32.599
why every day is my dad every day because I

1216
00:54:32.679 --> 00:54:34.760
made a promise to him. Yeah, you know, I made

1217
00:54:34.760 --> 00:54:37.000
a promise to him. So I'm like, I have to go.

1218
00:54:37.440 --> 00:54:40.239
I have to find a way. I have to stick

1219
00:54:40.320 --> 00:54:43.000
to it every single day because in my mind, in

1220
00:54:43.079 --> 00:54:46.039
my heart, I feel like he he's saved his I mean,

1221
00:54:46.079 --> 00:54:47.079
he saved my life.

1222
00:54:47.199 --> 00:54:49.599
It's like we exchange lives, Like he gave his life

1223
00:54:49.679 --> 00:54:52.440
up to save mine. So I owe it to him.

1224
00:54:52.599 --> 00:54:54.800
I have to do it. I have no choice. I

1225
00:54:54.840 --> 00:54:57.199
have my own family now, but I always hold on

1226
00:54:57.239 --> 00:55:00.000
to that promise to my dad because I promised him.

1227
00:55:00.400 --> 00:55:01.480
I can't let it go. Now.

1228
00:55:01.639 --> 00:55:04.280
Well, I'm grateful for your dad, I'm grateful for your wife,

1229
00:55:04.280 --> 00:55:06.159
for them, you know, cheering you on and being a

1230
00:55:06.159 --> 00:55:08.280
big reason that you're still going. And I'm very grateful

1231
00:55:08.280 --> 00:55:11.440
for you. So the very last question I have is

1232
00:55:11.840 --> 00:55:14.880
not that unlike much of what we've already talked through,

1233
00:55:14.920 --> 00:55:17.079
but I do want to know if I handed you

1234
00:55:17.079 --> 00:55:19.880
a microphone right now, like a big megaphone that everybody

1235
00:55:19.880 --> 00:55:22.440
had to listen to in the world, what would you say.

1236
00:55:22.800 --> 00:55:25.400
Yeah, sure, I think honestly, just in one line, I

1237
00:55:25.400 --> 00:55:29.079
would say, any wall in your life is meant to

1238
00:55:29.119 --> 00:55:33.480
be broken, right, I mean, that's truly what it is.

1239
00:55:33.519 --> 00:55:36.119
So that would be my line on my microphone, and

1240
00:55:36.400 --> 00:55:39.480
if I put my microphone down, and my explanation like

1241
00:55:39.559 --> 00:55:42.760
pretty much the everything we talked about. Whatever you're going through, man,

1242
00:55:42.840 --> 00:55:46.920
whatever struggle, I know I've lived it. I'm not the

1243
00:55:46.960 --> 00:55:49.199
guy that just went through hell. I'm the guy that

1244
00:55:49.360 --> 00:55:52.159
burned in it. Okay, I have scars two on my back.

1245
00:55:52.239 --> 00:55:55.199
I got one on my heart because you know, I

1246
00:55:55.239 --> 00:55:57.760
made a promise to somebody who I love and I have.

1247
00:55:57.800 --> 00:56:01.000
To say goodbye to him, and I lost him. So

1248
00:56:01.480 --> 00:56:03.840
I know what that's like. I know what that that

1249
00:56:03.840 --> 00:56:05.679
that pain can do to you, right.

1250
00:56:05.760 --> 00:56:08.360
But the beauty of it is is I wouldn't change

1251
00:56:08.400 --> 00:56:10.719
it for the world. And as crazy as that sounds,

1252
00:56:10.760 --> 00:56:14.280
because we can't change our past, our past also shapes

1253
00:56:14.360 --> 00:56:16.960
us and makes us who we are. We learn from it,

1254
00:56:17.079 --> 00:56:19.920
we grow from it. We it's a part of us.

1255
00:56:20.000 --> 00:56:22.239
So I would not change any of it. The bullying

1256
00:56:22.280 --> 00:56:25.760
and the body shaming, the just the beatings that I

1257
00:56:25.800 --> 00:56:28.079
took from all the you know, all the bullying that

1258
00:56:28.119 --> 00:56:30.280
I went through. My father, losing him the way that

1259
00:56:30.320 --> 00:56:32.679
I did and then burying him in the back surgery,

1260
00:56:32.719 --> 00:56:35.559
the IVF like everything that I've been through, I wouldn't

1261
00:56:35.639 --> 00:56:38.800
change it for the world because I needed all of that,

1262
00:56:39.760 --> 00:56:44.000
because that was all of the walls that I had

1263
00:56:44.039 --> 00:56:46.880
to go through to become the wall breaker. You can't

1264
00:56:46.880 --> 00:56:48.960
be a wall breaker without having walls to break in

1265
00:56:48.960 --> 00:56:51.159
your life. All of us are wall breakers. You just

1266
00:56:51.239 --> 00:56:53.199
have to find a way to look at that wall,

1267
00:56:53.639 --> 00:56:57.039
tell yourself the truth, this is my wall and goal

1268
00:56:57.480 --> 00:56:58.000
break it.

1269
00:56:58.920 --> 00:57:02.800
Amen. You took us to church and that that was

1270
00:57:02.840 --> 00:57:04.880
a phrase that I think because you don't leave the

1271
00:57:04.920 --> 00:57:07.079
same right like you don't leave the same after a

1272
00:57:07.119 --> 00:57:10.679
conversation like this. So thank you for your fire and

1273
00:57:10.719 --> 00:57:14.239
your energy and for sharing your story and being vulnerable

1274
00:57:14.320 --> 00:57:16.599
and all of the things. I'm so grateful to you, friend,

1275
00:57:17.280 --> 00:57:20.239
and we will see you next time on Quick Before

1276
00:57:20.239 --> 00:57:20.679
You Forget.

1277
00:57:21.280 --> 00:57:23.280
Thank you, Thank you for having me to I appreciate you.

1278
00:57:23.280 --> 00:57:23.760
You're the best.

1279
00:57:23.800 --> 00:57:27.719
Thank you, thank you, thank you for being here with

1280
00:57:27.760 --> 00:57:31.519
me today on Quick Before You Forget. Please like, share

1281
00:57:31.599 --> 00:57:34.480
and subscribe as that helps the show so much and

1282
00:57:34.519 --> 00:57:37.079
I really appreciate it. And I'll see you next time

1283
00:57:37.360 --> 00:57:38.679
on Quick Before You Forget.