Sept. 30, 2024

Navigating Uncertainty: Coping with Aging Parents and Life's Challenges. [Ep.775]

Navigating Uncertainty: Coping with Aging Parents and Life's Challenges. [Ep.775]

Our thoughts often revolve around where we are, what we're facing, and the uncertainties of the future. We may wonder what will happen to us, our friends, or our aging parents. Fear of the unknown can creep in, especially if we're an only child or...

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Our thoughts often revolve around where we are, what we're facing, and the uncertainties of the future. We may wonder what will happen to us, our friends, or our aging parents. Fear of the unknown can creep in, especially if we're an only child or only responsible adult child with all of these responsibilities. It can feel overwhelming. How do we navigate these challenges? How do we process and respond to them? There are no right or wrong answers, there are no directions. We’re all just trying to figure it out as we go, hoping for the best. In today’s show, I want to discuss how we process these situations, compartmentalize our emotions, and move forward when a parent, family member, or friend isn’t listening to us or considering our thoughts and opinions. What can we do to put things back into perspective when we are trying to help our aging parents, family members, or friends and they don’t want to take our advice? We need to learn to be okay with that. We can offer guidance and support but can't force anyone to see things our way.

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WEBVTT

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You're in a good place now. You are listening to

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Perspectives with Ashley Burges's.

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Welcome Back Live to look Atrure life perspectives and I'm

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your host, Ashley Burgess.

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On today's show, I.

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Want to discuss our thoughts where many of us are.

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What we're dealing with a lot of the things that

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we're having to understand and overcome and try to figure out.

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Many of us have aging parents. Our parents are aging,

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maybe the memories are not as good as they were.

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We're trying to help our family and our parents and

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that dynamic to be healthier and happier than they were.

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And many of us have fit parents and family that

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are cooperating, and many of us have parents and family

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who are not cooperating with us. They are not cooper

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with us at all. Many of you are also questioning

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what's happening in the future. You start looking at these things.

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You see your friends. For example, I have friends that

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are older than me and their parents are obviously older

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than my parents. And you see all these things happening

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in front of your very eyes, and you're wondering, when

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is this going to come to pass?

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For me?

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And some of us were already dealing with it. We're

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already in it. There's pieces of it that we're already seeing.

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There's situations we're already dealing with. There's situations in the

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future that we're anticipating. And I know some of you

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know how I feel, and I know how you feel

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that we're anticipating some of this, but we're not necessarily

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happy about getting it, and we're actually in fear. Some

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of us are also only children, the only child, so

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it comes down on us what do we do? And

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all that other stuff is going on too, like our work.

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You know, what we're doing in our career, how our

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career and finances are going, how your family dynamic is

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going in in your actual household. You know, if you

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have children, how old the children are, what's going on

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with them, the school situation, your pets, if you have

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a dog and a cat, or an aging dog or

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an aging cat, and you know, trying to keep them

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alive and healthy and happy, and all this stuff going on.

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And it's just a lot.

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And the reason why I wanted to talk about this

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on today's show is that I think many of us are, well,

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we're kind of freaking out. It's like we kind of

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push this off to the side. It's the stuff that

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we think about. It's the stuff that we say, man,

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oh my god, I hope this doesn't happen, or what

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happens if that happens, or what happens if this happens,

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and we kind of push it off, hoping that it

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just never comes to pass, hoping that we can keep

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this at bay as long as possible and never actually

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deal with it, and maybe it'll just go away.

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Maybe if we.

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Ignore it long enough, it will not come to pass.

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And I was at breakfast earlier today with a friend

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of mine and she's going through it. Family has been

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in assisted living and memory care and all that type

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of stuff for very long, for years and years and years,

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And we were talking about various other situations and friends

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and people we know that are also dealing with that

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who are a lot younger, and then looking at our

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own self and our own dynamic and trying to ask

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those questions and trying to figure out our situation, and

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it's like, you know, okay, what happens if we too

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are dealing with that?

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What do we do?

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And then looking at the horizon of healthcare at this time,

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you know how far along has medication come? How far

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along have pharmaceuticals come along? Where are we right now

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with the pharmaceuticals with memory loss, with keeping Alzheimer's or

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dementia at bay? Where are we with these types of things?

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You know, is there some hope on the horizon or

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is there not hope on the horizon?

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And I know that many of you are questioning a

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lot of these things.

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You're questioning, you know, your own sanity, your own reality,

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what you're doing, what you're planning on doing in your life.

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You know, maybe you haven't had children, you're still thinking

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about it. You're still tossing that around. What if I

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do this? What if I do that? What if we

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adopt a child? What if we have in vitro? What

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if we have somebody carry a child? You know, what

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if I decide to get pregnant you know later on

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in life? You know all those things, And there's so

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many questions. And I think that many of us are

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at that point where you think, mine, there's so many responsibilities.

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I got so many things in my life, so many

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things inundating, so many things all at one time, constantly

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on a constant basis. What do I do? How do

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I deal with it? How do I process it? What

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do I do in these situations? And it's very interesting,

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it's a very interesting dynamic when we think about it,

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because there's no right or wrong answer.

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There's no oh yes, do this, follow this.

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Protocol, do this, learn from these people, read this book,

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take this medication, you know, research this pharmaceutical company, don't

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do that, don't do this.

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There is no like directions.

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We're all going through this hoping and praying that we

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actually figure it out. We actually hope and pray that

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we figured it out. We hope and pray that something

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comes to pass. We hope and pray that we can

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figure it out. And I wanted to talk about this

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because I know that so many of you are in

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the same boat with me, and I'm personally dealing with it,

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and you know, I'm dealing with it right now. I'm

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the only child and I'm trying to help out. I'm

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trying to be there, and you know, I love my family,

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I love my parents, but it's like sometimes it's really

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challenging because again, we're the kid, right We're the kid,

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We were the child, and they don't always listen to

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the child. Not a lot of people listen to the child,

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don't listen to everybody else but the child. And it's like,

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you're not a child anymore. You're in your forties. Okay,

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It's like, well, why don't.

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You listen to me, or you're in your fifties or

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you're in your thirties or not a child anymore. You

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see what I'm saying.

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It's like, come on, I mean, we're in a totally

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different age bracket, but they still don't seem to listen.

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Some more than others, for sure. But it's really challenging.

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And I was getting frustrated too the other day. It's like,

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my mother has been seeing the same you know, general practitioner,

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I'm sorry, internal medicine doctor, and you know, it's amazing

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what they overlook. And I know that they have lots

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of clients and lots of people, and maybe there's something

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to be said about, you know, limiting the amount of

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client base so that.

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You can give good care. But we can get past

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that right now.

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But it's like, what do you do when you're seeing

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something that obviously this person is choosing to overlook or

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overlooking or not seeing, and then how do you bring

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it up? And then when you do bring it up

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and the idea or the concept or the care or

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the idea that you have or maybe just going to

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a certain doctor or checking it out gets shot down.

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How do you deal with that?

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And then not only how do you deal with the

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fact that they don't listen to you, right they don't

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listen to you, or not taking into consideration what you're saying.

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How do you deal with the repercussions of knowing that

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what you're saying is very important, knowing the impact of

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what you're saying and what you're asking for is very important,

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and knowing that if it's not taken care of, there's

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going to be a bigger problem. How do we deal

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with that feeling on the other side, how do we

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deal with that? How do we process that? How do

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we kind of get through that process? And that's the

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question in today's show is how do we deal with that?

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How do we process how do we compartmentalize or how

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do we let go of when a loved one isn't

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listening to us, when a loved one isn't taking into

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consideration our thoughts or opinions that have been well educated,

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well educated, well you know, acknowledged well, you know, you know,

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you've read a lot, you've educated yourself, you've gone online,

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you've gone into medical textbooks, you've asked other physicians, you've

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asked people, You've tried as much as you can, and

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you've got the skinny on what you think is a

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skinny at least the information you need.

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But other people will not listen to you.

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Maybe they are also very angry and are very obstinate

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and refuse to listen to you.

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How do you deal with that? How do you deal

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with that?

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Because it's not really you know, the question is, yes,

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we can all sit there and say, hey, I want

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my mom or my dad, or my husband or my

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wife or my best friend to go get this done,

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or I want them to get the you know, I

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want them to get their heart checked, or I want

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them to do this, or I want them to do

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that because of X, Y Z. And you can bring

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it up to this person and this person thinks you're

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a nut job, or they literally say go go to

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hell or other words. Even the F bomb was used

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a few times in my situations. It's like, okay, but

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how do I process that after you don't accept my

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thought process? And I understand I get it. This is

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not an easy subject on anything anytime that we are

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dealing with illness, pain, suffering, memory loss, all these things.

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And we don't live in this perfect world right now

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now where everything can be cured immediately. You know, some

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medications work others don't. You know, some tests are really

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tough on the body.

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Is it worth that?

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You know?

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Do you know once you find out? Is that a

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good thing to find out or is that a bad

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thing to find out? You know? I mean it's like

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trying to process all this information and still coming up

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wondering am I processing this right? Should I be feeling

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this way about it? Should I be feeling better about this?

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Should I be feeling worse about this? Where should I

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be in my mental state about this? Where should I

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be in my heart about this? Where should I be?

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You know, it's you ask these questions, like, you know,

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what do you do? How do you feel? How do

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you process this? I know there's a lot of questions,

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but you know, not every podcast that I'm talking about

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is going to have begin with all these answers. We

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have to ask the questions, pose the question, look at it,

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process that Anybody that has empathy and care about other

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people in their life is going through this exact thing.

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What do I do?

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How do I get them the help they need? What

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if they don't want help? What if I'm talking to

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a brick wall. What if I know that even if

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they do get help, there could be still this other

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weird thing going on that you know, it's not going

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to lead to any solution, and it's just not gonna

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you know, it's just like, what do we do, How

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do we get past this?

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How do we move forward? Question question question questions?

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And then how do we go back into our life

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and also take control and responsibility of our life. That's

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the other thing. It's very interesting when other people have

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health issues and problem and concerns, we get all inundated,

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all into their things. We're concerned about them. What are

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they doing going to the doctor's appointment? Is checking out?

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Did you get this test run?

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Did you get this?

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Oh?

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I was online. I researched for five hours about this,

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this and this and that.

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Have you done this? What about this doctor? What about

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this procedure? What about this you know? What about this protocol?

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And it's like we forget about ourselves as well. And

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one of the biggest things that I found though, is

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we got to walk the walk. We just can't talk

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to talk. So we might want other people to get

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some stuff done, to get some you know, some help,

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to go see a doctor, do all this stuff. But

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we got to be doing it too. We can't be

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avoiding it. We have to do it too. We have

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to make the effort to follow through in our own

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life to get our own stuff done in an effort

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to be proactive, very very very smart stuff. We have

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to be very proactive in our life and really make

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sense of things. And that's one of the biggest things

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that I've realized is that we have to look at

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things in importance level. What is more important, what is

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more important? After that, what is less important? What can

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we put on the back burner for a little bit,

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but not forever? You know, because some of these things

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get put on the back burner, we forget about it

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and then guess what, we have another problem that arises.

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You know.

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It's interesting how you know, I.

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Know a lot of friends, family clients who you know,

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they have insurance and it's not until they're about to

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lose their insurance where they have to go look for

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another insurance, where like oh, I better get all these

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tests run, check up on myself. And it's because you know,

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we've had this this security blanket for the last year

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or two years or whatever, and then it's like, oh,

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I better go get this test run. Well, you could

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have had that test run, you know, a few months ago.

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But it's like putting things in perspective, putting things in order.

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What needs to get done? What can I do? What's

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the best thing for me to do? And I find

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myself at that crossroads constantly. I think if you don't

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find yourself at that crossroads, then you're not actually thinking

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about it, you're not putting any effort into it, and

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you're actually avoiding it. It's you have to be in

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that kind of like ugh state, you know, where it's like,

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I know, I need to get this done. Now what

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do I need to do. I'm gonna push myself to

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do somebody. I'm gonna push myself forward to get this done.

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I'm gonna push myself forward to finishing this, to doing this,

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to doing that. And that is what's so powerful, is

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by pushing ourselves, motivating ourselves to do the things we

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don't want to do. And sometimes that you know, sometimes

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that rubs off on people around us, sometimes in a

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very very positive way that that helps other people. That

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helps other people, It gets to that point where they actually, Okay,

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you know what I do need to do that. I

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do need to do that for myself. I do need

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to make this happen. I need to make that happen.

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I need to follow up with that. I need to

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follow up with this. And I think in an effort

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to do that, we can impress on other people. And

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so when I'm turning to be talking more about that

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about how to really organize.

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You know what we need to do.

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You know, how to organize what we need to do

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for others or get others to do. How to you know,

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how to reinforce what they need and actually get them

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to discover that, and then also how to step back

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and allow them to make their decisions. So stay tuned,

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live your True Life Perspectives with your host Mediactley Burtis

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will be back in.

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We'll be talking about all this. So stay tuned. We'll

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be back in. You know it. I'll be back this

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time in two shapes.

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Turn it up and jump in the deep end on Perspectives.

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Now here's Ashley.

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Welcome back.

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Live to look a true life perspectives and I'm your host,

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Ashley Burgess. You know, we're talking about making decisions on healthcare,

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trying to help your mom and dad, trying to help others,

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trying to be there for them, trying to get them

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to think about their own care, trying to put it

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out there and sometimes, you know, getting positive reaction and

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sometimes getting shot down and told that you don't know

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what you're talking about it, told to be quiet, They're

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not going to do that. That's just not what they're

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gonna do. And knowing that you do know a bit

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of what you're talking about. You might not be a

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physician in that type of modality, but you have an

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idea of what you're talking about. You have an idea,

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you know what's going on, and so you think about

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this and you mull it over, and you think about it,

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and you mull it over and you think about it,

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and eventually you have to deal with the fact that

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either they're gonna come around or they're not. And that's

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one of the hardest things is to let it go

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and that and that's one of the things we be

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talking about in today's podcast and conversation is that I

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find that when we do have a feeling about something good,

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bet or indifferent, it's so hard to let it go.

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It's so hard to let that person make the decision

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when you know that it's going against their health or

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they're not following what's necessary, and.

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We have to let it go. And it's hard.

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It's hard because we can bring it up, we can

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bring it up, we can bring it up, we can

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bring up that's fine, but eventually we got to let

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it go. And I know that many of you out

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there are the only child, or you're the only compassionate,

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empathic child, or you're the only one that's gonna be there.

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I'm talking about adult children. You're the only one that's.

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Gonna be there for your parents, or are your you know,

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your your grandmother or your aunt. You're the only one,

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And say you know that if they don't listen to you,

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they don't get the help, things are not going to

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go as well as possible. And you know that you're

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going to be the one dealing with it. You know

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you're gonna be the one having to deal with the

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situation in hand, which can be so challenging. It's so

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hard to just kind of go Okay, you know what,

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nothing I can do. I gotta move on here. And

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I've realized that I, you know, I gotta I gotta

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meditate on it. You know, some of you pray about it.

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You can pray about it. That's fine, you know, as

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a lot of people say, I'm gonna hand this issue

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to God.

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Okay, that's great. However you have to do with it.

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But it's hard when you're empathic and you care and

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it's important, but also it's going to directly affect you

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as well, okay, And I think that's the hardest for us.

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And one of the things that I've realized that I

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have to do in those situations is I have to

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become proactive about my own life and my own health

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so that I don't really pontificate and pontificate on this

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situation so much where it makes me ill because I

358
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can get overwhelmed and overwhelmed and overwhelmed because if somebody's

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not listening to me, and I know that this is

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the best thing for them, this is the best case scenario.

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If they could like listen to this and take this in,

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it could really go really far. Life could be really great,

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or at least we could get some answers, or maybe

364
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we could offset some problems down the road.

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You know whatever. It's like, you go, okay, please just

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take my advice.

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I understand that you know, I am your kid, but

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I am thirty or forty or fifty years old, and

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I am your kid. But still I'm an adult now,

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and I have done my research and I know what

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I'm talking about, and I've realized that in those situations,

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you have to kind of take the bull by the

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horn and take over your own life and start thinking

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about what are the things in your life that need

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to get done, What are the things that you need

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to take care of, What are the health things that

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you need to take care of involving yourself, what are

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the responsibilities that you need to take kind of a

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better look at. What are the things that you need

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to take a look at. As far as the things

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that you're missing in your life. Many of you out

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there haven't had children. You let your career take over,

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or you know your career was number one and you

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don't have children and you want to have children.

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How do you investigate that? What do you do next?

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Is it time in your late thirties or early forties

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or whatever, or what about adoption or whatever, all these

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questions and you've got to start thinking about it because

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time is ticking. You're right, and we all have the

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things that we want to do, and we have to

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analyze what is it that I want to do? And

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we can see other people too, having those things that

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they could be doing, things that they could be focusing on,

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things that would give them happiness, or things that they've

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wanted to do that they're not doing. And I think

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sometimes when we go through that and we bring it

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up to other people and we bring it up for

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them to see, that's great. But if they're not going

399
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to do anything, we can bring it up a couple

400
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of times, but I think harping on it only just

401
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makes it worse.

402
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Usually they'll stop talking to us.

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But also we just feel beat down, and so we

404
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need to turn it around on us and think about

405
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what is it that we need to be doing in

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our life? How do we execute this plan and how

407
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do we really focus on that, especially if something that

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other people are doing or not doing is going to

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directly affect us. Stay tuned, we'll be talking more about

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this subject. Live your True Life Perspectives with your host

411
00:18:49.440 --> 00:18:51.480
me Ashley Burdis will be back in I'll be back

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this time.

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You know it.

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I'll be back this time in two shakes.

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This is Jake Busey and you're listening to Perspectives with

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Ashley Burgess.

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Welcome back live to Literature Life Perspectives, and I'm your

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host Ashley Burgess. On today's show, I'm talking about trying

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to help our family members, trying to let them know

420
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that we feel like they need to go to a

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doctor or a specialist for a certain thing. You know,

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being aware of certain life changes that would be helpful

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for the family and friends around us, you know, being

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able to communicate that, but also being able to step

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back even if they listen or don't listen. And it's

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very hard to step back. It's very hard to step

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back and be carrying an empathetic It's very hard to

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let people go down a road and not take care

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of themselves. It's hard to allow this to happen. It's difficult,

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it's challenging, and the biggest thing the process is the

431
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emotions and our feelings and you know, being fearful of

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what could happen or what can come to pass. You know,

433
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what if they don't do this. What if this doesn't happen?

434
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What if they don't get this done? What?

435
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What if? What if?

436
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And then some of us are directly going to be

437
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impacted by the choices, whether made or not made by family, parents,

438
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or friends, And those choices we will be impacted by, yes,

439
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and they will impact us greatly. Yes, And unfortunately, in

440
00:20:34.000 --> 00:20:38.000
the being impacted greatly, we know it. We will be

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the one that's there to try to help to pick

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up the pieces, to be there for them. But we

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also know the impact that it will have on our

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day to day life. And so how do you manage

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to say that, hey, I think you need to check

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this out? You know, like, hey, you know, if you

447
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have a really close friend or family member who has

448
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a drinking problem, I really think that you need to

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kind of figure this out. I really think that you

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need to kind of get this under or figure it

451
00:21:00.960 --> 00:21:03.279
out or think about it, or you know, maybe go

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to rehab or go to you know, an outpatient rehab

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or do something like that to impact you. You know,

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if you have a family member that seems to be

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having memory issues, you know, how do you how do

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you have that conversation? And if you do have that

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conversation and they want to get help. Great, what if

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they don't want help? What if they refuse to see that.

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What if you're worried that they're not going to have

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their memory intact? What if you know, if if, especially

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if you're going to be the major caretaker, caregiver, what

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happens then?

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You know?

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What what about you know, people that don't take they

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don't take health care seriously. You know, they have heart

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palpitations and all these different things, but they haven't gone

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to a cardiologist, and you're like, you got to go,

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and you're worried. And I had a client the other

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day was talking about their spouse, you know, was having

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thinking like they were having a heart attack, feeling bad.

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And I said, well, what happened? Have they gone to

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a cardiologist now?

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00:21:58.839 --> 00:21:59.039
You know?

474
00:21:59.440 --> 00:22:01.839
And they're like, I'm worried for them. But I can't

475
00:22:01.839 --> 00:22:04.359
force them to do anything. And we can't force people

476
00:22:04.440 --> 00:22:08.680
to go. You can't force someone that's of age to

477
00:22:08.799 --> 00:22:10.839
go see a particular doctor.

478
00:22:10.880 --> 00:22:11.240
You can't.

479
00:22:11.279 --> 00:22:13.480
You know, you can't put them in cuffs and put

480
00:22:13.519 --> 00:22:15.920
them in the squad car and you know, and kick

481
00:22:16.000 --> 00:22:17.799
their butt all the way to the doctor's office.

482
00:22:17.839 --> 00:22:20.160
It just doesn't work, you know.

483
00:22:20.160 --> 00:22:21.920
And then and then even then they can sit there

484
00:22:21.920 --> 00:22:23.880
and talk their way out of things. They can you know,

485
00:22:24.079 --> 00:22:27.759
they can appear certain ways, talk themselves out of things, misappointments,

486
00:22:27.799 --> 00:22:29.920
what have you. And I get it from many of

487
00:22:29.920 --> 00:22:32.079
you out there, you've been through this. I mean some

488
00:22:32.119 --> 00:22:35.400
of you that I'm listening to the show are current caretakers,

489
00:22:35.440 --> 00:22:38.440
caregivers for family members right now. And many of you

490
00:22:38.519 --> 00:22:41.799
saw the things happen. You saw things going, you saw

491
00:22:42.160 --> 00:22:45.200
the train moving in slow motion. You knew what was

492
00:22:45.240 --> 00:22:47.279
about to happen, but you did not know how to

493
00:22:47.319 --> 00:22:50.119
do it. You tried your best, you did what you could,

494
00:22:50.440 --> 00:22:53.079
you made the comments, you did the research, and it

495
00:22:53.119 --> 00:22:53.559
didn't work.

496
00:22:53.559 --> 00:22:56.119
And how do we refocus that? How do we take.

497
00:22:55.920 --> 00:22:58.640
That burden off of us, even though part of that

498
00:22:58.640 --> 00:23:01.119
burden is gonna still be with this when it directly

499
00:23:01.119 --> 00:23:04.839
affects us later on down the road. And one of

500
00:23:04.880 --> 00:23:07.160
the things that I've found is that we can't just preach.

501
00:23:07.200 --> 00:23:09.960
We got to do. We can't just preach, We have

502
00:23:10.039 --> 00:23:11.640
to do so. If there's things that we need to

503
00:23:11.640 --> 00:23:13.400
do in our own life, or the things that we

504
00:23:13.400 --> 00:23:15.279
need to take care of in our own life, we

505
00:23:15.319 --> 00:23:18.920
can't just preach. We've got to make these things happen.

506
00:23:19.240 --> 00:23:21.799
We've got to do it. We've got to move forward

507
00:23:21.839 --> 00:23:24.319
in our life. We've got to believe that we need

508
00:23:24.359 --> 00:23:26.279
to take care of our stuff. And we also need

509
00:23:26.359 --> 00:23:36.519
to see where our family members, our friends become our mirrors. Okay,

510
00:23:36.559 --> 00:23:38.839
what I mean by that is mirrors are very interesting.

511
00:23:38.839 --> 00:23:42.279
I'm not talking about a direct reflection of what you

512
00:23:42.359 --> 00:23:45.480
look like, because that's just not possible. But usually what

513
00:23:45.519 --> 00:23:48.440
I've seen a mirror is that a mirror is just

514
00:23:48.720 --> 00:23:49.880
different enough.

515
00:23:51.400 --> 00:23:53.000
To look different.

516
00:23:53.359 --> 00:23:56.839
It's just different enough for you not to catch what's

517
00:23:56.880 --> 00:24:00.720
really happening here. For example, people, I had a client

518
00:24:00.799 --> 00:24:02.640
the other day and they were saying, you know, hey,

519
00:24:02.720 --> 00:24:06.519
I you know, I'm starting to forget some things here

520
00:24:06.559 --> 00:24:09.279
and there, and forget names and dates and stuff like that.

521
00:24:10.880 --> 00:24:12.559
And I said, you know, it's interesting. You were bringing

522
00:24:12.599 --> 00:24:14.680
up the fact that your dad. You've been trying to

523
00:24:14.680 --> 00:24:16.559
get your dad to get help and he won't go

524
00:24:16.640 --> 00:24:19.240
and he seems to be getting lost all the time,

525
00:24:19.319 --> 00:24:21.160
and things like that, and I said, you know, maybe

526
00:24:21.200 --> 00:24:23.519
you need to go into urologist and get a baseline,

527
00:24:23.640 --> 00:24:26.440
just just get an idea of what's going on. I mean,

528
00:24:26.480 --> 00:24:28.759
sometimes we just need to be aware. You know, we

529
00:24:28.839 --> 00:24:30.599
might see it in others, but we need to also

530
00:24:30.599 --> 00:24:33.200
turn it around and look at ourselves. You know, there

531
00:24:33.200 --> 00:24:34.759
may be a friend of yours that you think is

532
00:24:35.400 --> 00:24:38.839
over indulging in alcohol and become to the point where

533
00:24:38.839 --> 00:24:42.000
it's not working for them, and and that's probably far

534
00:24:42.039 --> 00:24:43.880
from where you're at. But at the same time, it's

535
00:24:43.920 --> 00:24:46.279
mirroring maybe you're drinking a little too much at night,

536
00:24:46.359 --> 00:24:48.640
maybe you're having, you know, a couple of drinks you

537
00:24:48.680 --> 00:24:51.240
don't need to be having every night, and really focusing

538
00:24:51.279 --> 00:24:53.880
on that and seeing how other people can mirror us,

539
00:24:54.079 --> 00:24:58.480
and not just seeing it, but actually doing something about it,

540
00:24:59.119 --> 00:25:01.440
you know, doing something about it. So if you know,

541
00:25:01.519 --> 00:25:04.039
if you're not feeling well or you know, you're having

542
00:25:04.200 --> 00:25:06.720
anxiety attacks or whatever, and you all these stuff, it's

543
00:25:06.720 --> 00:25:09.079
like it's like putting you know, don't you know, like

544
00:25:09.200 --> 00:25:11.079
really thinking about what do I need to do to

545
00:25:11.119 --> 00:25:13.640
better my health? Because if you're not around and you're

546
00:25:13.680 --> 00:25:16.119
sick and you're unable to help other people, you sure

547
00:25:16.160 --> 00:25:17.680
can't help family or friends.

548
00:25:17.720 --> 00:25:19.640
I mean, you have to be healthy.

549
00:25:20.279 --> 00:25:23.000
Yes, wealth is very wonderful, but if you have no

550
00:25:23.119 --> 00:25:25.240
health and your health is very poor.

551
00:25:25.880 --> 00:25:27.519
All the wealth in the world isn't going to do

552
00:25:27.559 --> 00:25:28.119
anything for you.

553
00:25:28.400 --> 00:25:30.519
I mean, you might be able to buy procedures and stuff,

554
00:25:30.519 --> 00:25:32.480
but you don't feel good and you're not you're unable

555
00:25:32.480 --> 00:25:34.559
to do things in your life. You're able, you're unable

556
00:25:34.599 --> 00:25:37.400
to exercise, move around, do what you need to do it.

557
00:25:37.519 --> 00:25:40.880
This is very important and so if you're seeing health

558
00:25:40.920 --> 00:25:43.680
issues with other people, this is a very big focal

559
00:25:43.680 --> 00:25:46.359
point because it's probably happening to some degree with you

560
00:25:46.440 --> 00:25:47.880
might not be in the same genre.

561
00:25:48.480 --> 00:25:49.400
But we need to focus.

562
00:25:49.440 --> 00:25:52.480
And so sometimes after you've you've you've tried your best

563
00:25:52.480 --> 00:25:55.400
with the family members and friends, you've educated yourself, you

564
00:25:55.519 --> 00:25:58.039
try to have the conversations in the positive way. Now,

565
00:25:58.039 --> 00:26:00.839
remember there's a lot of these conversations when it comes

566
00:26:00.880 --> 00:26:04.599
to like memory loss and health and getting around and

567
00:26:05.279 --> 00:26:08.160
driving or not driving all these things. Like we have

568
00:26:08.240 --> 00:26:10.559
to be aware that this is going to be a challenge.

569
00:26:10.599 --> 00:26:13.400
We have to be aware that for other people it's

570
00:26:13.440 --> 00:26:15.559
hard for them to hear. It would be hard for

571
00:26:15.599 --> 00:26:18.680
you to probably hear and maybe not so much. But

572
00:26:18.839 --> 00:26:21.480
I think the older we get, maybe the prouder we get.

573
00:26:21.519 --> 00:26:23.559
And so realizing that some people are going to be

574
00:26:23.680 --> 00:26:26.240
very proud and hard to get to. They're going to

575
00:26:26.279 --> 00:26:29.039
struggle to take help. They're going to struggle to hear

576
00:26:29.119 --> 00:26:30.880
that they have a problem. And so we have to

577
00:26:30.920 --> 00:26:35.000
be able to kind of have the conversation with it

578
00:26:35.240 --> 00:26:39.119
with not like we're not forcing things, we're not making

579
00:26:39.160 --> 00:26:41.119
them feel bad. We're trying to say it in a

580
00:26:41.200 --> 00:26:45.640
very positive way, in a caring way. And you might

581
00:26:45.680 --> 00:26:48.119
get good feedback, you might get no feedback, you might

582
00:26:48.119 --> 00:26:50.799
get silenced, you might get very negative feedback.

583
00:26:51.599 --> 00:26:52.279
And then you have.

584
00:26:52.279 --> 00:26:54.240
To realize when is the right time to bring it

585
00:26:54.319 --> 00:26:56.000
up a couple of times here and there, and again

586
00:26:56.039 --> 00:26:58.119
and again, until you've brought it up enough that you

587
00:26:58.240 --> 00:26:59.240
feel okay with.

588
00:26:59.319 --> 00:26:59.839
Letting it go.

589
00:27:01.440 --> 00:27:04.400
We have to bring it up enough in a way

590
00:27:04.440 --> 00:27:06.519
that we know that we've set our piece. We've said

591
00:27:06.559 --> 00:27:13.000
how we feel, we've offered solutions, we've offered help, We've

592
00:27:13.039 --> 00:27:16.960
done our research, we've reached out to folks, We've gotten

593
00:27:17.039 --> 00:27:21.759
information we need, we've provided information. We've provided you know,

594
00:27:22.759 --> 00:27:27.039
true information to the best of our ability.

595
00:27:28.160 --> 00:27:30.000
You know, we've exhausted.

596
00:27:29.400 --> 00:27:33.440
All of these opportunities so that we feel good about

597
00:27:33.480 --> 00:27:38.160
the situation. We feel good about what we've done. We

598
00:27:38.240 --> 00:27:41.759
feel good about what we've come to the table with,

599
00:27:41.920 --> 00:27:44.440
how we tried to help where we are that sort

600
00:27:44.480 --> 00:27:44.799
of thing.

601
00:27:45.119 --> 00:27:46.480
And then, you know, all you.

602
00:27:46.440 --> 00:27:49.559
Can do is hope that that person will eventually take

603
00:27:49.599 --> 00:27:53.000
that information and do something with it. And if they don't,

604
00:27:53.119 --> 00:27:56.359
we have to be okay with it as well. And

605
00:27:56.559 --> 00:27:58.759
that's one of the hardest things to do, is to

606
00:27:58.759 --> 00:28:00.200
be okay with it as well.

607
00:28:01.200 --> 00:28:03.000
How do we get right with that?

608
00:28:04.000 --> 00:28:06.680
And that's one I believe that the only way of

609
00:28:06.759 --> 00:28:09.119
dealing with that is to say, okay, you know, I

610
00:28:09.160 --> 00:28:16.160
can't force anybody. I can't make anyone do anything. All

611
00:28:16.200 --> 00:28:20.359
I can do is bring the information, offer this to them,

612
00:28:20.799 --> 00:28:23.720
Offer to be there for them, offer to support them,

613
00:28:24.160 --> 00:28:26.920
you know, through this process. But I can't do anything else.

614
00:28:26.960 --> 00:28:29.160
I can't force anybody to do things something. I can't

615
00:28:29.200 --> 00:28:31.799
force somebody to see my way on the other end

616
00:28:31.839 --> 00:28:33.839
of the table, though, I do need to look at

617
00:28:33.880 --> 00:28:36.079
my own side of the street. I need to look

618
00:28:36.119 --> 00:28:38.400
at my own backyard. What are the things that I

619
00:28:38.440 --> 00:28:40.039
need to be doing. What are some things that I

620
00:28:40.119 --> 00:28:42.440
haven't taken care of, What are some things that I

621
00:28:42.599 --> 00:28:44.799
have left to do for my life? Left to do

622
00:28:44.920 --> 00:28:48.279
with my life left to do for myself that's very important.

623
00:28:48.279 --> 00:28:50.640
What are some things that I can focus on right now?

624
00:28:51.000 --> 00:28:52.480
And many of you are saying, wow, you know I

625
00:28:52.519 --> 00:28:54.839
haven't gotten a check up in a long time. You

626
00:28:54.839 --> 00:28:56.640
know many of you women out there having you know, oh,

627
00:28:56.680 --> 00:28:58.640
maybe your obgi N is no longer. You got to

628
00:28:58.680 --> 00:29:01.960
go find someone. You gotta find an doctor. It's time.

629
00:29:02.160 --> 00:29:04.640
It's time to do what we need to do. But

630
00:29:04.680 --> 00:29:07.319
it's it's also to investigate and do your best of

631
00:29:07.319 --> 00:29:10.000
your ability to investigate in what is actually truly right,

632
00:29:10.759 --> 00:29:13.559
What is the best focused point and what can you do?

633
00:29:13.640 --> 00:29:16.599
And so when you are feeling like you know that

634
00:29:16.720 --> 00:29:19.599
you don't you can't change something, when you're feeling helpless

635
00:29:19.640 --> 00:29:22.359
to a situation, maybe your father's not taking advice that

636
00:29:22.839 --> 00:29:25.240
you know he needs to go to a heart specialist.

637
00:29:25.319 --> 00:29:27.440
Maybe your father and mother's not taking advice that they

638
00:29:27.519 --> 00:29:30.839
need to go, you know, to a memory to understand

639
00:29:30.880 --> 00:29:33.359
about memory health, and maybe needing to go to neurologist

640
00:29:33.440 --> 00:29:35.920
to get a baseline to understand where they are to

641
00:29:36.000 --> 00:29:38.119
really kind of start opening that line as a communication.

642
00:29:38.240 --> 00:29:42.160
Maybe they're not willing to do that. Turn that on

643
00:29:42.240 --> 00:29:43.799
you and ask what are the things that I need

644
00:29:43.839 --> 00:29:45.759
to be doing right now that I haven't been willing

645
00:29:45.799 --> 00:29:48.000
to do for myself? What are some things that I

646
00:29:48.039 --> 00:29:50.279
can do right now? Take one thing at a time,

647
00:29:50.880 --> 00:29:52.599
don't take it all at one time. Take one thing

648
00:29:52.599 --> 00:29:54.799
at a time. What are some things that I can do?

649
00:29:55.279 --> 00:29:57.160
What are some things that would be very helpful for

650
00:29:57.240 --> 00:30:00.000
me to execute in my own life to get done?

651
00:30:01.119 --> 00:30:03.799
What are those things? And think about it and ask

652
00:30:03.839 --> 00:30:06.920
yourself and really put together a list. It's time to

653
00:30:06.920 --> 00:30:10.160
put together a list of things that you can do.

654
00:30:11.519 --> 00:30:12.240
For you.

655
00:30:13.920 --> 00:30:17.079
And for others that you actually can have some sort

656
00:30:17.119 --> 00:30:19.960
of more control. For example, is there something that your

657
00:30:20.000 --> 00:30:24.440
dog needs? You know, is your dog dealing with you know, arthritis?

658
00:30:24.519 --> 00:30:27.359
Is your dog dealing with whatever issues? Allergy issues? That's

659
00:30:27.359 --> 00:30:28.960
how I'm saying. What kind of things can they do?

660
00:30:29.079 --> 00:30:30.720
What kind of things can you do? What kind of

661
00:30:31.000 --> 00:30:33.680
you know, holistic treatment can you do? If there's medical

662
00:30:33.680 --> 00:30:37.039
treatment that you need, you know, your cat, your children

663
00:30:37.400 --> 00:30:40.359
that are still underage, you know, do they need something

664
00:30:40.440 --> 00:30:43.359
and you can't? There are certain things that you actually

665
00:30:43.359 --> 00:30:48.640
have more control of yourself analyzing those things, putting together

666
00:30:48.799 --> 00:30:51.839
a list of things that will make you not only

667
00:30:51.920 --> 00:30:56.000
feel better about what you can contribute, will feel better

668
00:30:56.400 --> 00:30:59.200
about the augmentations and changes you've made, but also make

669
00:30:59.279 --> 00:31:01.880
you feel better about where you are in life. Because

670
00:31:01.880 --> 00:31:03.880
when we're trying to help people that are not wanting

671
00:31:03.920 --> 00:31:06.920
to help themselves, that do not want to listen, it

672
00:31:06.960 --> 00:31:10.599
can be overwhelming, sad, and scary, especially when you care

673
00:31:10.640 --> 00:31:14.000
about the other person and when you care about them,

674
00:31:14.200 --> 00:31:19.640
and also when their life directly impacts yours. I mean,

675
00:31:19.680 --> 00:31:22.160
you know, the direct impact and that you care about

676
00:31:22.200 --> 00:31:24.880
them are the double WHEMMI, Because it's like you really care.

677
00:31:24.960 --> 00:31:26.720
You don't want to see something happen to them. You

678
00:31:26.759 --> 00:31:29.319
want them to be healthy, happy, You want them to

679
00:31:29.359 --> 00:31:31.440
live the longest life that they can in a healthy,

680
00:31:31.440 --> 00:31:32.079
happy way.

681
00:31:32.680 --> 00:31:34.599
But also you're like, okay.

682
00:31:34.240 --> 00:31:37.640
You know, if they don't want to take into my advice, okay,

683
00:31:37.920 --> 00:31:40.720
but what happens if this happens? What happens if that happens? Now,

684
00:31:40.759 --> 00:31:43.559
how do I deal with that? What's the impact there?

685
00:31:43.920 --> 00:31:46.759
What would have been easier? And it's hard to deal

686
00:31:46.839 --> 00:31:48.480
with And I've been watching it with a lot of

687
00:31:48.519 --> 00:31:50.519
my friends, with a lot of my clients. When it

688
00:31:50.559 --> 00:31:54.000
comes to their older family members, even some of their

689
00:31:54.039 --> 00:31:57.160
older children. You know, like stepping in with the drug

690
00:31:57.160 --> 00:32:01.000
addiction or the alcoholism you know, or the toxic you know,

691
00:32:01.119 --> 00:32:05.960
dynamic that they're married into or whatever. It's very challenging, uh,

692
00:32:05.960 --> 00:32:08.039
and being able to figure out, you know, what can

693
00:32:08.119 --> 00:32:10.839
I do and then turning that around on ourselves and saying,

694
00:32:10.880 --> 00:32:12.440
you know, what have I not done for myself?

695
00:32:12.480 --> 00:32:13.960
What are some things that I can do for me?

696
00:32:14.480 --> 00:32:17.119
And I know that this seems probably like, oh my god, Ashley,

697
00:32:17.200 --> 00:32:19.359
like this is a you know, there's a lot going on,

698
00:32:19.480 --> 00:32:20.400
and it's It's true.

699
00:32:20.440 --> 00:32:21.240
It's our lives.

700
00:32:21.279 --> 00:32:24.279
Anybody that's an impath that cares about other people, that

701
00:32:24.519 --> 00:32:27.160
has you know, people in their lives, that wants the

702
00:32:27.200 --> 00:32:29.240
best for other people, that wants the best for themselves.

703
00:32:29.240 --> 00:32:31.240
All this is going through your mind twenty four to

704
00:32:31.240 --> 00:32:34.799
seven plus you know, your work, your responsibility, and everything

705
00:32:34.839 --> 00:32:36.279
else you have going on in the fact that you

706
00:32:36.319 --> 00:32:38.119
would like to have some fun in life and do

707
00:32:38.240 --> 00:32:42.119
things that you like and all these things, you know,

708
00:32:42.240 --> 00:32:45.160
and that's where it's like, Okay, this is where we

709
00:32:45.240 --> 00:32:47.720
have to realize, Hey, many of us are operating from

710
00:32:47.759 --> 00:32:52.039
this position. Many of us are trying, you know, trying

711
00:32:52.119 --> 00:32:56.880
to organize our life and find direction and really, you know,

712
00:32:57.000 --> 00:32:59.519
kind of focus and hone in on what we need

713
00:32:59.559 --> 00:33:01.839
to be doing. But there is all this other stuff

714
00:33:01.880 --> 00:33:04.079
going on in the background. And sometimes it's not in

715
00:33:04.119 --> 00:33:06.119
the background, it's in the foreground. Sometimes it's right in

716
00:33:06.200 --> 00:33:09.440
front of our face. Sometimes it's right there. And it

717
00:33:09.480 --> 00:33:13.160
can't just be pushed under, swept under the rug. It's

718
00:33:13.160 --> 00:33:15.400
got to be looked at. And so think about it.

719
00:33:15.440 --> 00:33:16.680
What are some of the things that you can do

720
00:33:16.839 --> 00:33:21.799
right now in your life to power up your life?

721
00:33:22.160 --> 00:33:24.480
What are the conversations that you need to still have

722
00:33:24.640 --> 00:33:28.519
with family and friends. Have you had those conversations? How

723
00:33:28.519 --> 00:33:32.039
do those conversations go? Where they you know, where they heard?

724
00:33:32.480 --> 00:33:35.640
Was it on deaf ears? Do you feel confident? Do

725
00:33:35.640 --> 00:33:36.920
you feel like you need to bring it up a

726
00:33:36.920 --> 00:33:38.920
couple more times to go through it? Do you think

727
00:33:38.920 --> 00:33:41.359
that you need to help them to see that truth?

728
00:33:41.559 --> 00:33:43.960
Have you, you know, spoken your truth? Have you done

729
00:33:43.960 --> 00:33:46.359
the research the due diligence? Where are you with that

730
00:33:46.480 --> 00:33:49.480
and how do you feel about that as well as

731
00:33:49.480 --> 00:33:50.559
turning that back on you.

732
00:33:50.599 --> 00:33:51.960
What are some of the things that you can do.

733
00:33:52.039 --> 00:33:53.880
What's some of the research that you can research, like

734
00:33:53.920 --> 00:33:56.640
I was researching yesterday, like melatonin and the.

735
00:33:56.599 --> 00:33:57.839
Impact on our memory.

736
00:33:58.519 --> 00:34:00.880
You know, I'm researching, like you know, sleep age and

737
00:34:00.920 --> 00:34:03.559
things that can be done, you know, holistic things that

738
00:34:03.599 --> 00:34:06.079
we can take. And I try to do that on

739
00:34:06.119 --> 00:34:08.840
a daily basis, at least for a few minutes a day,

740
00:34:08.920 --> 00:34:10.760
to try to research and find things that can make

741
00:34:10.800 --> 00:34:13.280
our lives better. And I'll add those to some of

742
00:34:13.320 --> 00:34:16.159
the conversation podcasts here in the future because I think

743
00:34:16.199 --> 00:34:18.920
it'll be powerful and helpful for everyone, because I do

744
00:34:18.960 --> 00:34:20.840
put a lot of time and energy into that, and

745
00:34:20.880 --> 00:34:22.679
so doing some of that for you, doing some of

746
00:34:22.719 --> 00:34:25.760
that for your family, but basically realizing, hey, when you've

747
00:34:25.760 --> 00:34:28.000
exhausted all this other stuff, it's time to turn it

748
00:34:28.039 --> 00:34:30.039
around and start looking.

749
00:34:29.760 --> 00:34:32.559
At what you can do. And when I return and be.

750
00:34:32.480 --> 00:34:35.280
Giving you some ideas and some thought processes and some

751
00:34:35.360 --> 00:34:38.559
journaling ideas to really start fleshing that out and figuring

752
00:34:38.599 --> 00:34:42.320
out exactly what you can do to empower yourself and

753
00:34:42.400 --> 00:34:45.079
empower yourself and also safeguard yourself.

754
00:34:45.679 --> 00:34:47.960
And I'll help with that into some moments, So stay tuned.

755
00:34:48.400 --> 00:34:51.039
I'll be talking about that Literature Life Perspectives with your

756
00:34:51.039 --> 00:34:53.079
host me Askey Burgers will be back in I'll be

757
00:34:53.119 --> 00:35:00.400
back this time in two shakes.

758
00:35:09.800 --> 00:35:13.920
Get in here. You're listening to Perspectives with Ashley Burgess.

759
00:35:16.079 --> 00:35:18.159
Welcome back live to look at your life Perspectives, and

760
00:35:18.199 --> 00:35:20.679
I'm your host, Ashley Burgess. On today's show've been talking

761
00:35:20.679 --> 00:35:22.400
about the things we can do to put things back

762
00:35:22.440 --> 00:35:26.519
into perspective when we're trying to help our aging parents

763
00:35:26.599 --> 00:35:29.679
or family members or friends, and we're giving them all

764
00:35:29.719 --> 00:35:31.880
the best advice we can and hoping that they'll follow

765
00:35:31.920 --> 00:35:33.800
that because we care about them, we love them.

766
00:35:33.800 --> 00:35:34.559
But also we're.

767
00:35:34.440 --> 00:35:36.880
Directly impacted by the choices they make or not make.

768
00:35:37.199 --> 00:35:39.239
We're directly impacted by the things that they do for

769
00:35:39.280 --> 00:35:41.360
their health or don't do for their health, and that

770
00:35:41.400 --> 00:35:45.119
can be very challenging, especially when somebody's not taking what

771
00:35:45.159 --> 00:35:47.400
you say, doesn't want to hear what you have to say,

772
00:35:47.599 --> 00:35:50.159
is too proud to do it, too scared to do it.

773
00:35:50.519 --> 00:35:52.639
All that stuff becomes a problem, and then there you

774
00:35:52.679 --> 00:35:54.840
are holding the back, wondering what you do next. And

775
00:35:54.880 --> 00:35:58.000
these are very challenging situations, and we have to find

776
00:35:58.400 --> 00:36:01.440
empowerment with our lives. So we can talk it, we

777
00:36:01.480 --> 00:36:03.719
can speak it, we can put it out there. But

778
00:36:03.800 --> 00:36:06.599
if somebody's not listening, and not taking into consideration we

779
00:36:06.679 --> 00:36:09.639
really don't have much to go with, and so ultimately

780
00:36:10.639 --> 00:36:13.199
it's trying to figure that out. Ultimately, it's like, Okay,

781
00:36:13.199 --> 00:36:15.360
what do I do next? How do I deal with this?

782
00:36:15.440 --> 00:36:18.760
And being able to find what you need, being able

783
00:36:18.760 --> 00:36:20.960
to put into perspective the things that you can do

784
00:36:21.079 --> 00:36:23.360
to help yourself, and putting a list together. So some

785
00:36:23.440 --> 00:36:25.840
of my advice, which you know you can take it

786
00:36:25.920 --> 00:36:27.480
or you know you don't have to, but I think

787
00:36:27.719 --> 00:36:29.639
I think it can be helpful, is you know, writing

788
00:36:29.719 --> 00:36:31.199
up a list of things that you want to see

789
00:36:31.199 --> 00:36:33.199
in your life, writing up a list of things that

790
00:36:33.239 --> 00:36:35.840
you want to happen in your life that haven't looking

791
00:36:35.880 --> 00:36:38.119
at that, Also writing up a list of things that

792
00:36:38.400 --> 00:36:40.559
you know you'd like to see better about your health,

793
00:36:40.599 --> 00:36:42.519
the things that you think you need to take care of,

794
00:36:42.800 --> 00:36:45.800
and putting a list together things in order of what

795
00:36:45.840 --> 00:36:48.760
you feel is most important, and start working.

796
00:36:48.440 --> 00:36:50.199
On that list slowly but surely.

797
00:36:50.559 --> 00:36:53.159
And I feel like when we feel like we're powerless

798
00:36:53.239 --> 00:36:55.639
or other people aren't listening to us, or we're trying

799
00:36:55.639 --> 00:36:57.920
to help people but they're not taking that consideration, is

800
00:36:57.920 --> 00:37:00.320
pulling that list out and saying, Okay, hey, how can

801
00:37:00.360 --> 00:37:03.079
I empower myself by doing something for myself right now?

802
00:37:03.400 --> 00:37:06.480
All these things are very helpful to figure out. All

803
00:37:06.480 --> 00:37:10.159
these things are very helpful to understand and figure out.

804
00:37:10.199 --> 00:37:12.599
And that's where I really want us to be. And

805
00:37:12.920 --> 00:37:15.079
it's like, you know, I found that, you know, the

806
00:37:15.079 --> 00:37:17.280
more we do this, the more we journal as well,

807
00:37:17.280 --> 00:37:19.199
like writing out how do I want my life to look?

808
00:37:19.239 --> 00:37:21.079
What are some of the things I'd like to change

809
00:37:21.840 --> 00:37:25.239
about my health, about my life, about my lifestyle, about

810
00:37:25.280 --> 00:37:29.360
my choices. Looking at our self sabotaging, you know, things

811
00:37:29.360 --> 00:37:31.719
that we do to self sabotage ourselves. And a lot

812
00:37:31.760 --> 00:37:34.280
of us don't realize how much we self sabotage. A

813
00:37:34.320 --> 00:37:36.760
lot of us don't realize that the level of self

814
00:37:36.760 --> 00:37:39.280
sabotage that we have, and that's very powerful in and

815
00:37:39.320 --> 00:37:42.360
of itself, and to realize that level is self sabotage

816
00:37:42.360 --> 00:37:44.920
and to see it, some of us self sabotage more

817
00:37:44.960 --> 00:37:47.239
than others. Some of us self sabotage at a bigger

818
00:37:47.320 --> 00:37:49.039
level than others, you know, but it.

819
00:37:49.039 --> 00:37:50.320
Is still self sabotage.

820
00:37:50.360 --> 00:37:52.239
It doesn't really mean at what level, but some of

821
00:37:52.320 --> 00:37:55.159
us more than others, and those are things that we

822
00:37:55.199 --> 00:37:56.960
need to analyze those are things that we need to

823
00:37:56.960 --> 00:37:59.840
be aware of and seeing that if we are avoiding

824
00:37:59.840 --> 00:38:01.960
to taking care of stuff, or we are avoiding our

825
00:38:02.000 --> 00:38:04.599
health or those types of things, being able to see

826
00:38:04.599 --> 00:38:08.719
that and understand that and catching that in and of

827
00:38:08.760 --> 00:38:11.679
itself is very powerful, and we might see it in

828
00:38:11.719 --> 00:38:13.840
other people. Like I was talking about the mirror, we

829
00:38:13.880 --> 00:38:17.159
see other people self sabotaging, going against things, not wanting

830
00:38:17.199 --> 00:38:19.760
to take care of things, scared to hear the truth,

831
00:38:19.840 --> 00:38:23.440
scared of making changes, scared of changing their lives, scared,

832
00:38:23.800 --> 00:38:25.760
and that can also be a mirror for us in

833
00:38:25.800 --> 00:38:28.280
small ways. Maybe we're not as scared, but there's still

834
00:38:28.280 --> 00:38:30.320
things that we're fearful of or things that we're still

835
00:38:30.360 --> 00:38:33.400
avoiding and being able to rectify that because I found

836
00:38:33.400 --> 00:38:35.159
that when we find this in our lives and we're

837
00:38:35.199 --> 00:38:37.960
dealing with folks that are maybe you know, no, I

838
00:38:37.960 --> 00:38:39.320
don't want to do this, No I'm not going to

839
00:38:39.360 --> 00:38:40.960
follow that. No I don't want to do that, Okay,

840
00:38:41.079 --> 00:38:43.199
and it's like we finally we hit a brick wall.

841
00:38:43.320 --> 00:38:45.760
Then how do we change directions and course correct? And

842
00:38:45.840 --> 00:38:47.559
we have to kind of really really focus back on

843
00:38:47.599 --> 00:38:49.800
ourselves and say where am I in my life that

844
00:38:49.840 --> 00:38:51.840
I'm doing this? Where am I doing this in my

845
00:38:51.960 --> 00:38:55.840
own life? Because I am some way, somehow doing it.

846
00:38:55.920 --> 00:38:58.800
All of us self sabotaged to some degree. All of

847
00:38:58.880 --> 00:39:02.960
us do us on a large level, on a large scale,

848
00:39:03.159 --> 00:39:06.599
some of us on a smaller scale. And these are

849
00:39:06.639 --> 00:39:08.480
the things that we need to analyze, These are the

850
00:39:08.480 --> 00:39:11.880
things we need to think about. These are the things

851
00:39:11.880 --> 00:39:14.360
that we need to put, you know, first and foremost

852
00:39:14.400 --> 00:39:16.519
on our list and really focus on that, especially when

853
00:39:16.559 --> 00:39:19.400
we're feeling like we're powerless or or that we could,

854
00:39:19.480 --> 00:39:21.840
you know, you use a little more oomed for direction

855
00:39:21.920 --> 00:39:25.159
in our life, because again it comes down to us.

856
00:39:25.199 --> 00:39:27.760
Our health is directly related to us. We have to

857
00:39:27.800 --> 00:39:30.400
take care of our health in order to take care

858
00:39:30.440 --> 00:39:32.039
of the other people in our lives. So we need

859
00:39:32.079 --> 00:39:35.039
to put ourselves as focused. It's not about being self centered.

860
00:39:35.360 --> 00:39:37.480
It's about focusing on our health and taking care of

861
00:39:37.519 --> 00:39:41.119
ourselves and being proactive. If you haven't already, check out

862
00:39:41.159 --> 00:39:44.599
the new website we just readd the website Ashley Burgess

863
00:39:44.599 --> 00:39:46.840
dot com A s H L E Y B E

864
00:39:46.960 --> 00:39:50.519
R g ees dot com. Looking forward to hearing from you.

865
00:39:50.519 --> 00:39:53.840
You can also contact me by going to Ascyburgs dot com,

866
00:39:53.880 --> 00:39:56.360
clicking on that contact page and sending me a message,

867
00:39:56.400 --> 00:39:59.119
and I will get back to you asap because.

868
00:39:58.920 --> 00:40:01.320
I look forward to hearing from you. In the meantime.

869
00:40:01.320 --> 00:40:04.559
If you have any other ideas on some content or interviews,

870
00:40:04.639 --> 00:40:06.639
let me know on the show, and I'd love to

871
00:40:06.679 --> 00:40:08.360
hear from you. So in the meantime, I know you

872
00:40:08.360 --> 00:40:09.880
have a lot on your mind. I know you have

873
00:40:09.920 --> 00:40:11.519
a lot going on. I know that you have a

874
00:40:11.559 --> 00:40:14.480
lot of responsibilities, and I know that you're a superhero.

875
00:40:14.599 --> 00:40:15.800
So keep it up. You got this.

876
00:40:15.840 --> 00:40:17.599
Going on, you can make this. You can do this,

877
00:40:17.679 --> 00:40:20.599
and in the meantime, empower yourself. Do the things that

878
00:40:20.639 --> 00:40:22.960
you need to do in your life to empower your life,

879
00:40:22.960 --> 00:40:26.400
to make your health amazing, and to feel good about yourself.

880
00:40:26.400 --> 00:40:28.760
You're trying with everybody else, You're putting it out there.

881
00:40:28.800 --> 00:40:29.440
Now it's time to.

882
00:40:29.440 --> 00:40:31.480
Research and think about what's best for you as well.

883
00:40:31.800 --> 00:40:34.199
Stay tuned new shows coming up every week, Live your

884
00:40:34.239 --> 00:40:36.639
True Life Perspectives with your host me, Ashley Burgess. Will

885
00:40:36.639 --> 00:40:37.760
be back in I'll be back this.

886
00:40:37.800 --> 00:40:40.440
Time, you know it. I'll be back this time. In

887
00:40:40.559 --> 00:40:48.920
three shakes,