My Problem is...Is it Your Problem or Someone Else's [Ep.752]

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You're in a good place now.
You are listening to Perspectives with Ashley Burgess.

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Welcome back live to Literature Life Perspectives, and I'm your host, Ashley

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Burgess. I hear on a constant
basis one comment made by clients, friends

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and family, and this is how
it goes. Ashley. My problem is

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blink, Ashley. My problem is, My problem is, my problem is,

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and my problem is. And it's
interesting how many of us start a

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sentence communicating with others about a life
situation that we consider our problem. And

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I get that. I understand that
we have problems, but do we need

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to consider it as a problem or
can we look at it differently? Well,

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in order to even begin to ask
ourselves these questions, we have to

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look at the concept of what a
problem really is. And where did the

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word problem come from? I find
that to be very interesting as well.

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Where did the word problem come from? And the word problem stems from the

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Greek word and I might you know
bots this up a bit. The Greek

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word problem probably balan, which is
pro o b a l e i n,

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with pro meaning before and balan b
a l e i n meaning to

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throw. So it's just an idea
of throwing something, as in throwing forth

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a question or throwing forth a situation. And that's interesting because that's not really

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a problem. So how do we
get to the concept of a problem saying

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or creating or making us feel that
that's a challenge or a difficult situation.

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And it was interesting because I came
across an interesting article by Matthew Edgar and

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he was talking about it wasn't until
the fourteen hundred when problem really began to

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also mean a difficulty. And in
the fifteen hundreds the problem began connecting to

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the concept of mathematical problems and equations, so that could also associate why when

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we have a problem we find or
we associate it with it being difficult.

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It wasn't until four hundred years later
that problem began to mean some type of

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ongoing, possible, insurmountable difficulty.
Think about it. Before this, a

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problem suggested putting forth a question or
a riddle. And now the modern definition

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and concept of problem is throwing or
difficulty or some sort of active consideration a

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question to be considered solving or solved
or answered. And I think that this

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is interesting because I feel that when
we say that we have a problem.

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It defined something as being an immediate
issue, and I think that when we

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look at that, we have to
really analyze what we feel as a problem

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and what we're willing to do to
change the situation, to change the problem,

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to get over it. But is
it really a problem? Is it

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a question? Is it something that
needs to be considered? And I think

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that there, you know, it's
a perceived gap between the existing state and

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a desired state that could be an
option, a perceived gap between the existing

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state and the desired state that could
be a problem. I think it depends

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on the way we define problem.
We have to consider that, we have

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to figure out what that is.
But I find that the brain when we

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say we have a problem, begins
to take in the consideration of difficulty.

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It begins to see things as a
challenge and does it necessarily need to be

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that hard? Do certain things need
to be that hard? Do certain things

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need to be that challenging? Or
can it be a something that we consider

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a question to be solved? And
so nowadays when people say, actually,

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I have this problem my problem is
I find that that's really really pigeonholing the

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issue, creating more static in one's
life, because even if you're like,

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my problem is my relationship, some
people will say their problem is, you

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know, the way that they act, or that they're too kind, or

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their codependency, that's my problem,
or you know, I keep taking somebody

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back, that's my problem. I
keep getting And it's like, okay,

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but is this really a problem or
is this is something that we need to

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take a look in to better understand, to better qualify and quantify what this

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is really going on in our life
and to what degree is this really a

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problem? So I want you to
ask this question of you do you say

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this? Have you said this in
the past? My problem is are you

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saying it now to somebody? Are
you telling them what your problem is?

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And how are you seeing your problem? What does that problem look like?

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And I think that when we start
realizing that we're defining the situation already as

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a problem, we're kind of pigeonholing
ourselves and seeing an issue that has to

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take place that might be insurmountable.
One of the funny things I find is

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that when we create this within our
mind, it's almost like our mind wants

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us to believe this. Our mind
wants to make whatever that is true.

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And I've seen this where people can
believe that they're not going to be able

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to do something. For example,
I have some friends and family that just

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do not believe that they could ever
do anything digitally as far as with the

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computer. They feel like they're constantly
having struggles. They're never going to understand

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the computer. They have problems with
the computer, they have all these frustrations,

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and so any time that they have
to do something with the computer,

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they automatically start, you know,
getting like, you know, stressed out,

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a little angry. You know,
it seems like things aren't already working.

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They're pushing a lot of buttons and
things aren't happening. They're already seeing

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the worst case scenario in that situation. It's really hard to overcome that because

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we've already created in our mind that
we have this type of problem, that

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we are unable to do this.
And so let's begin to identify any area

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in our life that we consider a
problem. And I also want you to

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catch here anytimes in life that you
actually speak it out loud that this is

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your problem. My problem is X
y Z. Think about that, What

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is that is that necessarily a problem
and how did you learn to say that

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at what point in time did you
learn to say that? Where did you

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learn that from? Because it's very
interesting because there's certain problems and then there's

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problems. But it's also like how
we define problem? How are we defining

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problem? What does that look like? And the more that we understand how

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we define problem, the more we
can probably understand if that problem has been

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solved or if that feels insurmountable,
if we feel like we're completely overwhelmed unable

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to solve that, why that would
feel that way, Why we would come

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to that conclusion, the stress and
strain that's around or surrounded by that situation.

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And so remember like when we create
this and we say that something is

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a problem, many of us believe
that a problem is hard, and a

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problem is hard to overcome, a
problem is hard to solve. Think about

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what that does to your mind.
How it almost stops the ability to find

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solution. It almost stops the ability
to find solution because you're already overwhelmed that

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this is really a problem. And
so think about that. What are your

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problems in your life? Writing those
down right now, you know, creating

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a journal of things that only you
can see is very good because we can

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actually we can actually begin to look
at these things in a way that nobody,

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nobody else has to see them.
First of all, nobody else has

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to see them, nobody else has
to deal with it. And you can

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actually have this as something that you
can look back at and understand and see

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for clarity. Because when we think
about solving a problem, we have to

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identify and define what the problem is. And do we have to you know,

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do we have to label it as
problem? Can we just say what

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the question is or what the situation
is. I want to identify the situation,

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state the situation as clearly as possible. I want to generate, you

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know, situation solutions. And I
think situation is a lot better than problem

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because a situation, to me is
like, Okay, that's a situation.

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I can figure out a situation.
I can come to terms with a situation,

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But how about you know the problem. Another concept is evaluating the alternatives.

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I'm a big believer and that there's
always another way around something. There's

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always another way around, and there's
always a better solution somewhere. There's always

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a solution even if we don't look
at it, because sometimes we just don't

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see the ability to have solution.
We don't and those things are very important

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to understand. Those things are powerful
to begin with because we were able to

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really see that and understand that and
decipher that. So we have to decide

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on options to solve our situation.
What are some solutions to the question or

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the situation? We want to implement
the solution, and we want to then

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evaluate the outcome. And these are
really great because when we're dealing with a

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situation no longer a problem. And
that's what I really wants you to think

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about too, is being able to
change the way we talk to ourselves,

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change the way we talk to our
friends and family. Because the more and

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more that we inundate ourselves with that
you have a problem, the more challenging

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and fixated we get on said problem. And that's where we can garner some

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power. That's where we can get
to where we want to go quickly making

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quick changes to our life and evaluating
that situation. And that to me is

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a powerful place to be. So
I want you to analyze that, when

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was the last time that you said
that? When was the last time that

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you told somebody your problem? And
then I wants you to start listening and

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being a good listener to hear when
other people bring that up to you in

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a conversation, and look at how
they actually address it, look at how

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it comes forth as their problem.
My problem is how they say it immediately

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out loud a problem. And if
you look, you start listening to a

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lot of the things that they call
a problem. A lot of those things

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really are not necessarily a problem.
They might think differently about something, they

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might have a different thought process about
thought processes about something. They might consider

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something else more valuable than something else, they might have a different value system

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about something else. But in general
it's not necessarily a problem. But it

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can turn into us feeling like we
have a problem because we keep addressing it

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and labeling it as that problem.
So let's begin to do that as well

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and figure out, Okay, what
are you know, some of the solutions

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to my situation? What are the
situations I'm in, and what can I

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do to augment that? And so
beginning to see that, and the more

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and more that we're aware of other
people as well, in what they're saying

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and how they're acting as far as
with their situation, it gives us a

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lot more clarity in our life,
to see how that comes to us,

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to see how that is in our
life, to see how that connects in

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our life, and that is powerful, that in and of itself can really

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guide us to seeing more of our
truth or more of what we need to

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see in our own life to offset
that, because I also think sometimes the

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problems we identify are our uniqueness,
or maybe more like it, the things

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that maybe we need to work on
or augment, but are not necessarily our

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direct problem. And I think that
blanket statement, though, leads us to

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feeling overwhelmed when dealing with it,
and then again getting into kind of sabotaging

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our mind by you know, really
focusing on that instead of solution. When

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I were trying to be talking more
about how just general you know, definitions

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or you know, or how we
define things can get in the way of

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us being successful, can get in
the way of us that happiness and that

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piece that we want. It's the
way we say things, It's the way

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we believe things. You know,
our beliefs are very important. You know

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that our belief system is our reality. The way we see things, the

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way we define things, and if
we're defining things as problems. We're creating

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more havoc in our life, especially
if they're not necessarily problems, if they

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I mean, or if they're just
a difficult situation, it's making it more

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challenging for us to come up with
solution around that situation because that difficulty probably

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creates more of us to sit back, We get a little more edgy about

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it. We want to stand off
from it, we want to avoid it,

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and again not creating any type of
solutions. Stay tuned. There's more

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of this where they came from.
You're talking more about this concept and how

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we should really be thinking and speaking
to better off our situation. Literature Life

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Perspectives with your host me Asty Burgess
will be back in a'll be back at

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this time in two shapes. Turn
it up and jump in the deep end

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on Perspectives. Now here's Ashley.
Welcome back live to Literature Life Perspectives and

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I'm your host, Ashley Burgess.
On today's show, we've been talking about

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the power of our words, and
I started off talking about the concept of

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my problem is how often have you
spoken that out loud to a friend or

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family member, or therapist or coach? My problem is this? My problem

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is that is that really your problem? And I started catching it lately because

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I remember saying it before in the
past, and I remember when I would

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say it, how the person across
the table would look at me. And

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it was funny because it would all
it would always be like it wasn't an

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intense change, but you could see
how there was like a change within them.

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You could see how they kind of
caught it was caught off guard.

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They didn't understand why that was defined
as a problem. And I think that's

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something that we really need to analyze, is the power of our words.

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It's specifically the power of positive words
and the power of negative words because and

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this might not be a negative or
a positive, but this does generate a

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feeling of being overwhelmed something that's going
to be super challenging or super hard to

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find a solution to. My problem
is it defines you and whatever characteristic you're

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talking about as a problem, and
all these things need to be looked at

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and analyzed to understand. And so, you know, I want to really

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talk about the power of words.
And there was a Japanese scientist, a

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Motoho, who did a bunch of
experiments on water and I think many of

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you might have seen some of those
books. I had those books and watched

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some of those experiments, and it
was about how the effect the words had

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on energy. Back in the nineties, when frozen water that's free from all

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impurities would form beautiful ice crystals that
looked exactly like snowflakes under a microscope.

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So if he saw that, it
looked like a really beautiful, one of

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a kind snowflake, but water that
was polluted, it had additives or fluoride,

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would freeze without forming these crystals,
and he would pour pure water into

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vials and he would label them various
different phrases like I hate you or fear,

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and after twenty four hours, the
water was frozen and no longer crystallized

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under the microscope. It could not
crystallize, which is very interesting think about

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that, and it would maybe be
gray or clumped instead of that lace like

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really cool crystal. And then in
the contrast of that, Imoto would place

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labels that would say I love you
or peace on vials of polluted water,

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and after twenty four hours they produced
gleamingly perfect crystals. And those experiments proved

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that energy generated by positive or negative
words can actually change the physical structure of

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an object. The result of his
experiences were detailed, and experimentss were detail

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in a series of books with the
Hidden Messages and Water, and I have

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that book myself. But this very
good thought to have here is that the

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way that you're talking to yourself and
the way you're defining things in your life

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will directly affect you. If it
can direct because we are energy. We

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can get more into that, but
we are energy. If you've read any

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quantum physics books, you understand that
there's energy in different states of vibration.

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You understand you atoms are or elemental
particles themselves might not necessarily be real,

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but they form a world of potential
and possibilities. And it's very interesting when

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you go through a lot of that
research. You understand that as energy,

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energy is directly connected to vibrations by
energetic vibrations, right, and so it

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can be very very interesting to have
positive energetic vibrations versus negative energetic vibrations.

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And so words are extremely powerful tools
that can be used to uplift our personal

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energy and improve our lives, but
they can also hurt us as well,

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and so that's what's very important because
we need to spend some time to really

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look at this. We need to
spend some time and saying, Okay,

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am I using my words to my
highest of ability? Am I speaking my

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truth? Am I being able to
do that properly? Or are my words

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about myself and others hurting me,
bringing me down and making me feel bad,

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creating more havoc in my life?
And so when we return or be

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talking about things that we need to
notice in our life, things that are

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not serving us as well as gratitude
and things are probably that we need to

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watch out for in our life,
including self depredation that can get in the

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way of us having the fulfilling life
that we want because it's really it's really

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kind of taking us apart instead of
building us up. Stay tuned. I

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have much more to cover here on
literature life perspectives. Literature life perspectives with

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me, your host Ashley Burgess,
will be back in Well, I'll be

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back this time into Shapes. This
is Jake Busey and you're listening to Perspectives

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with Ashley Burges. Welcome back live
to Live your two life Perspectives and I'm

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your host Ashley Burgess. On today's
show, we're talking about the power of

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words, the power of our own
words, and how important those words are

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for our growth. Before the break, I was talking about Emoto, the

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sciences, the Japanese science is actually
who was putting labels on water. There

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was a book out, the Hidden
Messages and Water, where he would put

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labels of I love you or labels
if I hate you, and how the

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I hate you ones would come out
with no crystals. The water would have

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no crystal. It would be you
know, gray or misshapen or clumps,

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and then the I love you in
the piece vials. Even though a lot

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of that water that ended up being
used for the positive comments were actually not

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pure water. They were not pure
water, they were actually polluted water.

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After twenty four hours of being sent, these messages would actually turn into beautiful

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crystals. So you know, it
could change polluted water into something that you

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know, it could augment its reality
as well as you know, very fresh

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water, very clean and pure water
could be turned to gray and no crystals

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when you put on I hate you
and fear. Now it's interesting because he

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went on and did another experiment,
and this was testing not the written word,

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but this was testing the spoken word, and he plays two cups of

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cooked white rice in two separation jars, and fix the lids in place,

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okay, labeling one jar thank you
and the other you fool. And the

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jars were left in an elementary school
classroom and the students were instructed to speak

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the words on the label to the
corresponding jars twice a day. After thirty

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days, the rice in the jar
that was constantly insulted was black and gelatinous.

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It was just a mass of black
stuff. And the rice in the

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jar that was thanked every day was
white and fluffy as the day it was

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made. This, again, is
an example of the power of words.

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And I think that many of us
overlooked that. We overlooked that to ourselves.

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We speak to ourselves, you know, And my problem is, now

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that's not horrific, but it's already
putting ourselves down as if we have this

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horrible, insurmountable problem that we can't
find solution. And usually when I hear

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that, you know, I was
saying earlier, the problem that they're saying

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they have is not really a problem. It just might be a different way

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of life or a different way of
doing things, but it's definitely not a

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problem. And that's something to really
think about. It just might be something

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that needs to be augmented or change. And I know that some of you

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out there too. We talk about
throwaway words. You know how many times

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a day do we throw our words
away? Now? Think about that when

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we just use we talk about things
that you know, might not have any

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meaning in our life. We put
things down like I'm so stupid or I'm

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such a klutz. And it's interesting. You know, I've had I've had

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friends that will say stuff like that. I've had clients that I can call

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out and say, you know,
hey, you know you've made this comment

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multiple times in the session. It's
not at your highest good. This might

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be creating a problem. And I
don't think that many people ever think that

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these words can bring negative energy into
our vibration and actually affect us on a

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physical level. But they actually can, and they do. And you know,

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I think that because you know,
sound vibration travels through water or four

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times faster than it does through open
air. Remember that sound vibration travels through

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water four times faster than it does
through open air. And remember our body

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is seventy percent water. Think about
that, your body is seventy percent water.

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How quickly the vibration from a negative
word resonates in your cells. Ancient

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scriptures go back to tell us that
life and death are in the power of

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the tongue, and that's not really
even a metaphor, so think about that

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in that respect. And when we
begin to analyze this and understanding this,

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we begin to analyze that, oh
my gosh, what I'm saying is directly

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going to affect me physically. Think
about that again. You know, we

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are seventy percent of water. Think
about that. That's that's why emotos,

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you know, experiments are so interesting. Okay, that that that serves for

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that, because we're the first one
to hear it, are the words that

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we say out of our mouth,
We are the first ones to hear it.

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We are the first ones. We
are it and realizing that we have

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the power to augment that, or
we have the power to continue to do

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that. You know, some of
us are in the habit of using the

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same negative words over and over again, and and my problem with that,

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I'm choking. The issue. The
situation with that is that the more we

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hear, read, or speak a
word or phrase, the more power it

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actually has. Over us. Think
about the power that it has over us.

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Think about the power that it wields
over us. Because remember, the

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brain uses repetition to learn. It
uses repetition its search for patterns. It

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searches for consistency to make sense of
the world around us. So that's very

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important. You might not remember exact
dates of World War two, but you

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know what, like seven times two
is right, you know what three plus

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five is? You know what?
You know? You know those types of

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things because you've done it over and
over again. Think about having a song

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stuck in your head. I mean, that's challenging. I had a song

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in my head. Oh my god, I woke up this morning at six

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am in the morning and I had
one of the craziest songs in my head.

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And I mean, you know,
I like all kinds of music.

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It was it was John dear Green. It was a country song in the

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hot summer sun. He said,
Billy Bob loves Darlene. I had that

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song in my head when I woke
up and I couldn't go back to bed.

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And that's the song that I have
thought about since six am in the

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morning. That's the song I've been
thinking about that You know we're going on

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quite sometime now. Still got that
song in my head. And guess what,

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it's getting stronger and stronger, you
know, because it's it's repetitive.

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It's that melody all over again.
And repetition is the most powerful tool to

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imprint something on your mind. Repetition
very very it's very well use. Geico

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uses it all the time and all
their commercials. Remember when Geico is advertising

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every single one minute. Yeah,
you remember the Geico commercial. There's no

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way you couldn't have remember the Geico
commercial. And you know it's interesting,

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you know, it's like, it's
very interesting when you think about this reputation.

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Any statement that we read, speak, or see regularly is going to

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be seen as more valid than one
that we only see it occasionally. So

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remember that too. So think about
that. When you see something over and

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over again, you're gonna believe that
to be true over what you don't see

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often, So you might believe the
worst. I mean, it doesn't mean,

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it doesn't matter if the information is
false or true. It just doesn't

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matter. You just hear it over
and over again, you believe it to

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be true. The only thing that
matters is how often you are exposed to

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it. There was some research done
out of the University of California, Berkeley,

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and it shows that a weak message
repeated twice becomes more valid than a

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strong message only heard once. Even
one repetition has the power to change your

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mind. The same goes for pictures, which are just thoughts and ideas concentrated

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into an image. Repetition increases our
mental validation of anything we're exposed to.

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Repetition, repetition, repetition. It
works very well on commercials, advertising,

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political situations. Yes, you know, getting to sway your vote, sway

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you politically make you believe certain things. All these things are done and repetition

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over and over and over again,
and it makes you believe that this is

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definitely true because it's over and over
again. And so we need to be

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fully aware of what we are allowing
into our life. We need to be

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fully aware of what we're listening true. And it's interesting and think about how

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often somebody might have put you down
in your life, might have said something

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bad about you, I mean,
you know, might have helped shape a

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false self image of you. You
know, maybe they called you fat or

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stupid or dumb or you know whatever. It is ugly or short or whatever,

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and you begin to believe it and
you take on that false self image

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and that because you're image, because
you heard it over and over and over

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again making it real. And that's
not helpful, that's not good. And

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that's where I feel like. It's
like, you know, you have to

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really think about what are we exposing
ourselves to? What are we around all

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the time? What are we exposing
ourselves too? And we need to be

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aware of that. And if you
and if you have someone in your life

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who is putting you down or has
put you down, I want you to

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really recognize that as well, because
you know, if you keep hearing that,

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you're going to believe it. So
we have to consciously make our words

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work for us. We have to
make our words work for us. We

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need to really seize the power of
our words. We need to benefit from

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them, and we need to start
with the words that we're using. We

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need to also eliminate any name calling
or self criticism. You know, everyone's

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doing the best they can and so
we have to be aware. We have

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to be kind of, you know, be empathetic, be compassionate to ourselves

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and others. Many of you call
yourself names, you put yourself down,

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you have anger and resentment towards yourself. You got to be careful with that.

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Those things will put you down.
You'll feel bad. You know.

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We got to watch out about what
we say to others. You know,

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how we treat them, you know, are we hurting them in some way?

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You know how how is that affecting
them? You know, how are

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things going with them? How are
they dealing with these types of things?

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What are they dealing with it?
And realizing that, you know, sometimes

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people will do bonehead things, but
being able to help them to see something

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without having to put them down or
making them feel bad, just trying to

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give them some help and reassurance in
a way that they can learn from their

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mistakes or learn from issues. You
know, we have to put a stop

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to our self deprecation, like you
know, because a lot of times we

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can make, you know, jokes
about ourselves and sometimes it's funny, but

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you know what, a lot of
times though, we're putting ourselves down and

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we're ultimately making ourselves feel bad from
this. It is not a helpful stance.

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It's not a healthy stance. We're
not getting you know, nothing positive

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is coming out of the self deprecation
and words have power. And remember that

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you know our energy and our quantum
energy. There is no sense of humor.

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It's not like it's like, oh, this is a this is a

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joke, or this isn't real,
or oh don't take this seriously. That's

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not at all what's happening here.
He can't decipher the differences between your self

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deprecation and your truth. Very important. Another aspect to you is gossiping and

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speaking ill of others. When we
gossip about one another and we speak ill

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of others, it's not good.
And so remember your words resonate back to

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you. And so the more you
speak ill about other people, the more

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it's going to ultimately hurt you in
some degree. And gossiping and drama is

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not something that aids or helps our
life. It really doesn't. And the

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00:31:42.039 --> 00:31:47.240
interesting thing about gossip is that I
found that any time that I've ever interacted

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and spoken in some sort of gossiping
way or talked about other people, any

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time that I did that, I
lost myself. I was no longer you

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00:31:55.799 --> 00:31:59.359
know, and I was no longer
doing me. I was I was now

400
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in a different kind of universe talking
about that other person, not even focusing

401
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on my truth, not even focusing
on what I needed to focus in on

402
00:32:09.920 --> 00:32:15.200
that moment, not even connecting the
dots with that. You know, I

403
00:32:15.279 --> 00:32:20.400
was so off on the sidelines of
life trying to do X y Z because

404
00:32:20.440 --> 00:32:23.839
I was talking about that or speaking, I wasn't actually even living my own

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life. And that is so interesting. We are not even living your own

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life. What that means. That's
so powerful to be able to observe and

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see. And so one of the
things we want to do is we want

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to eliminate this negativity out of our
vocabulary. We don't want to put a

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bunch of negative energy out there.
We're not I'm not saying that you need

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to be this positive like, oh, you're oh, you're just gonna be

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floral speaking all day and you're just
you know, it's gonna be unicorns and

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rainbows. I'm not saying that.
But we do need to be aware of

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that negative energy. We need to
be aware of that get of communication.

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We need to be aware of that
negative comments, the negative talk, the

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negative self talk. I think that's
important. We also need to be aware

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of our positive side and uplifting and
we'll talk more about that in a bit,

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But in the meantime, I want
you to consider, you know,

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how often you know, are you
speaking in a negative way? How often

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are you speaking in a negative way? And that's and that's hard to always

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see. You have to do a
lot of observations. You have to be

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aware of it. You have to
really dig deep and see it for what

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it is. You really have to
get in there and analyze the situation so

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that you actually see it for what
it is. And that's powerful. It's

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very powerful. So the more you
see it, the more you're aware of

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00:33:50.480 --> 00:33:53.720
it, the more you catch it, the more you are going to feel

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better about yourself. The more you're
going to feel not only vindicated, but

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you're also going to be able to
feel lighter. You're gonna feel happier about

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00:34:04.799 --> 00:34:07.559
a lot of your choices. You're
gonna feel good about a lot of things

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00:34:07.559 --> 00:34:10.719
in your life. You're going to
feel really you're going to feel vibrant,

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You're going to feel lighter, because
the more negative words that we're using to

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00:34:15.719 --> 00:34:20.599
describe things, the more we end
up you know, taking that in buying

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00:34:20.639 --> 00:34:24.679
that energy, believing that energy,
and all those things very important to really

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recognize that see it, understand it, and move forward. And so that's

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really powerful. So when I return
to be giving you some more tips on

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how to really boost your positive energy, because you know, we can't just

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00:34:37.519 --> 00:34:39.519
stop the negative. We got to
boost the positive, make things even better,

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00:34:40.079 --> 00:34:44.159
makes us feel better, we get
to where we need to be at.

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We learn from it, we grow
from it, and we're able to

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00:34:46.320 --> 00:34:50.440
really attain some of these things that
we want to attain to feel better about

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00:34:50.440 --> 00:34:53.559
it. Stay tuned Live your True
Life Perspectives with me your host, Actually

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00:34:53.559 --> 00:35:09.199
purchase will be back in I'll be
back this time in two shakes. Get

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00:35:09.280 --> 00:35:15.840
in here. You're listening to Perspectives
with Ashley Burgess. Welcome back live to

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00:35:15.920 --> 00:35:21.039
Literatue Life Perspectives and I'm your host
Ashley Burgess. On today's show, I'm

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talking about the power of words.
And we started today's show about my problem

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is and a lot of times when
we say that we don't really have a

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00:35:28.480 --> 00:35:31.400
problem, but we're defining it,
and we're using this kind of somewhat negative

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00:35:31.480 --> 00:35:36.599
language to define something about our life, and sometimes we get a lot deeper

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00:35:36.599 --> 00:35:38.280
with that. We might have a
lot of name calling to other people,

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00:35:38.400 --> 00:35:43.679
we might be super critical of ourselves. We might even be self deprecating for

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00:35:43.840 --> 00:35:46.840
the break I was talking about eliminating
that from our lives and being able to

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00:35:46.880 --> 00:35:51.199
see it someone us don't even realize
we're doing it. We don't even realize

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00:35:51.199 --> 00:35:54.159
that we're putting ourselves down. And
that is something that we have to come

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00:35:54.159 --> 00:35:58.519
to grips with and we don't realize
it. We don't realize it, and

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00:35:58.559 --> 00:36:02.960
we have to start being aware of
these things that we say over and over

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00:36:04.079 --> 00:36:07.440
and over again. Many of us
are saying the same things about ourselves over

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00:36:07.480 --> 00:36:12.639
and over again, creating this in
our life and creating these patterns in our

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00:36:12.679 --> 00:36:17.400
thoughts and our words that create negativity
in our life. You know, one

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00:36:17.400 --> 00:36:22.199
of the things that I want you
to think about instead of just said it's

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00:36:22.239 --> 00:36:24.800
just the negativity, Like we need
to let go of that negativity. We

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00:36:24.880 --> 00:36:30.199
need to also boost the positive energy. So you know, like sometimes people

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00:36:30.199 --> 00:36:31.920
are like, how are you doing? And instead of saying I'm fine or

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00:36:31.960 --> 00:36:37.440
I'm okay, maybe hey, I'm
doing great or I'm terrific, Like why

463
00:36:37.480 --> 00:36:39.440
not? Why can't you be fantastic? Why can't you be fabulous? I'm

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00:36:39.480 --> 00:36:44.599
amazing, I am absolutely amazing,
Like that feels better to me right there,

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00:36:44.599 --> 00:36:46.760
I already feel better today. I
was dragging a little bit. I

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00:36:46.800 --> 00:36:51.199
was telling you about how all I
had was a song over and over again

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00:36:51.239 --> 00:36:52.840
in my head for hours and hours
and hours, and that really helped me

468
00:36:52.880 --> 00:36:55.000
because somebody asked me how I was
doing, and I said, oh,

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00:36:55.000 --> 00:36:59.320
I'm fine, Oh am I fine? Or am I amazing? I think

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00:36:59.360 --> 00:37:02.280
amazing better. We also need to
watch out the people around us, some

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00:37:02.320 --> 00:37:07.920
of the negative people that are bringing
us down in our life. I know

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00:37:07.239 --> 00:37:09.639
it's hard because some of those people
have been in your life for a long

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00:37:09.679 --> 00:37:13.800
time. Some of those people are
some of the oldest friends you've had.

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00:37:13.920 --> 00:37:16.280
Some of those people are your family
members, for God's sakes, that you

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00:37:16.400 --> 00:37:19.880
have in your life that are bringing
you down. And say, we got

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00:37:19.880 --> 00:37:22.480
to really watch out how much we
hang out with them, and we got

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00:37:22.480 --> 00:37:25.840
to avoid those negative folks when we
can, and really limit our amount of

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00:37:25.840 --> 00:37:32.320
time that we spend with them.
We want to surround ourselves with uplifting words.

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00:37:34.199 --> 00:37:37.840
We want to be more uplifted in
our daily life. So we want

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00:37:37.840 --> 00:37:42.239
to have power in our words.
We want to use our words consciously.

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00:37:42.679 --> 00:37:46.599
We want to use our words to
shift our life, to bring energy into

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00:37:46.679 --> 00:37:51.599
our life instead of putting us down
to we want to bring energy. We

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00:37:51.599 --> 00:37:55.199
want to bring power into our life. And that is where I want to

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00:37:55.239 --> 00:37:59.440
see us, That's where I want
us to be at. And having that

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00:37:59.559 --> 00:38:04.239
power and an energy to have that
in our lives and that in of itself

486
00:38:04.280 --> 00:38:07.639
will be super powerful. So we
definitely want to do that as well.

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00:38:07.599 --> 00:38:10.239
And so I want us to think
about that as you know, how can

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00:38:10.280 --> 00:38:15.480
we how can we bring more positive
energy into our life? What kind of

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00:38:15.559 --> 00:38:20.800
uplifting words can we speak about others? In ourselves? You know, what

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00:38:20.840 --> 00:38:24.480
do we do? How can we
imagine like positive energy generating from ourselves?

491
00:38:25.440 --> 00:38:29.920
How do we you know, be
positivity? How do we wear positivity?

492
00:38:29.960 --> 00:38:31.719
How do we wear? You know? And And to me, it's like

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00:38:31.760 --> 00:38:37.679
eventually positivity can become your truth.
It just takes time because if we've been

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00:38:37.719 --> 00:38:40.079
working on a different set of truth
for a long time, if we've been

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00:38:40.119 --> 00:38:44.360
working on things that are not our
truth, like we've been telling ourselves these

496
00:38:44.400 --> 00:38:46.519
negative things over and over again.
That feels like the truth, But is

497
00:38:46.559 --> 00:38:51.159
that really our truth? No,
it's just repetition. Remember we can have

498
00:38:51.239 --> 00:38:53.400
that repetition over and over again and
believe it, you know, I talked

499
00:38:53.440 --> 00:38:57.239
about, you know, some of
the I talked about some of the various

500
00:38:57.239 --> 00:39:00.559
studies where you know, as long
as you hear it twice, believe it

501
00:39:00.599 --> 00:39:05.039
even though it's completely false. You
know, That's why you have a lot

502
00:39:05.039 --> 00:39:07.960
of this, you know, stuff
on the news and TV, you know,

503
00:39:07.000 --> 00:39:10.079
over and over again, propaganda,
all kinds of stuff, because you

504
00:39:10.159 --> 00:39:16.000
begin to believe it because you've heard
it so many times. And so that's

505
00:39:16.039 --> 00:39:20.519
the thing is that we have to
start realizing what we're saying to ourselves.

506
00:39:20.800 --> 00:39:23.800
We have to stop that negative concept
toward ourselves. We have to see the

507
00:39:23.840 --> 00:39:28.639
repetition. We have to catch it
while we're saying it. We gotta stop

508
00:39:28.639 --> 00:39:30.840
it, we gotta catch it,
we gotta get rid of it, we

509
00:39:30.840 --> 00:39:34.639
gotta let it go. All these
things have to happen, and then we

510
00:39:34.719 --> 00:39:37.719
have to employ some real positive aspects
in our life. We have to change

511
00:39:37.719 --> 00:39:40.440
it. We have to get rid
of the negative though before the positive.

512
00:39:40.480 --> 00:39:43.199
And I have a lot of stuff
on that, and we can talk a

513
00:39:43.280 --> 00:39:46.440
lot more about that, but we
got to change the negative and let it

514
00:39:46.480 --> 00:39:50.320
go before we can turn it around. We don't want to add stuff to

515
00:39:50.360 --> 00:39:52.480
it. We just want to get
rid of the negative. So once you

516
00:39:52.480 --> 00:39:54.599
just start being aware of that and
being aware of those things you're saying,

517
00:39:54.599 --> 00:39:58.559
if it's I have a problem,
or I'm stupid, or I'm fat,

518
00:39:58.679 --> 00:40:01.719
or this is my problem, look
at how you're labeling things and let's make

519
00:40:01.760 --> 00:40:06.199
some changes to that in our process. If you haven't already, check out

520
00:40:06.199 --> 00:40:08.760
the YouTube channel, go to Ashley
Burgess or life Coach Askeley Burgess. We

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00:40:08.800 --> 00:40:13.519
have new video content up every single
day. You can find me on TikTok

522
00:40:13.800 --> 00:40:17.920
Relationship Rescue as well as Facebook on
Askeley Burgess, Instagram on Askeley Burgess,

523
00:40:19.000 --> 00:40:21.639
and love to hear from you,
so you can always send me a message

524
00:40:21.639 --> 00:40:24.639
and I will respond. I look
forward to responding to your messages if you

525
00:40:24.679 --> 00:40:31.079
have questions. I'm starting to actually
respond to subscribers questions on actual YouTube videos,

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00:40:31.079 --> 00:40:34.840
So stay tuned. I hope that
you connected with the show Live your

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00:40:34.840 --> 00:40:37.159
True Life Perspectives with your host me
Askey Burgess will be back in I'll be

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00:40:37.199 --> 00:40:40.519
back this time in three shapes