Life, It’s Your Life, Now What? [Ep.757]

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You're in a good place now.
You are listening to Perspectives with Ashley Burgess

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que Back Live to Literat your Life
Perspectives, and I'm your host, Ashley

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Burgess. It's your life now What. I know that many of you are

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examining your life on a daily basis, examining the situations and circumstances that surround

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your life, the people you spend
time with, the feelings and thoughts that

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you have, the dreams, the
desires you have, the things that you

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want to accomplish in your life,
the things that maybe you regret, the

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things that you wish would cooperate in
your life, and the list goes on.

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In today's show, will be talking
about your life now What, but

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getting really specific about the things that
we want in life and how do we

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attain it, How do we get
those things that we want, How do

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we get it, and how do
we hold onto it? And I know

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that many of us, all of
us have something that well, we just

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don't seem to get right, that
one thing that just seems to slip through

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our fingers, that fear we have
something that gets in the way, And

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I know that that can be very
challenging and painful when you see what could

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be happening, and in the process
you're dealing with this other stuff in your

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life. So first off, let's
talk about what it is that you feel

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is missing in your life, and
then we'll talk about what you love about

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your life, and then we'll talk
about examining and figuring out how to get

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exactly what we want in our life. And nothing's perfect, And I think

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perfection is a crazy concept. I
think perfection is that concept that we have

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in our minds that really takes us
off target. It's that situation in our

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head that we think, oh,
okay, we're going to have all this,

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this is all going to work.
We think that other people's lives are

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perfect. We look at other people, we look at their lives, we

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compare our lives to other people.
And we all know that social media has

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done really well in creating that reality. It's done really well to facilitate that

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type of situation and in the process
has created static in our own lives.

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So when we really examine our life, we have to examine, you know,

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what is missing in our life,
then what we love, then how

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to get what's missing. But we
have to look at it separate from other

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people. And that's the first thing
that's so challenging, is that I need

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you to separate your life from other
people. And why I say that is

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that I feel that many people have
an idea of what they think their life

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should look like at a certain age, at a specific age, people have

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this idea of what their life should
be. I was recently reading an article

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and then article's very interesting. I
think it was in the New York Times,

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and it was about age, and
it was talking about how most of

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us have this concept of where we
need to be at by a certain age,

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and if we're not there, we
consider ourselves underachievers. We consider ourselves

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slow, unsuccessful, you know,
whether that's in business, personal life,

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as far as romantic life, or
even starting a family. All these things

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are very interesting because it's all subjective, and it's all subjective. But the

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interesting thing is is that it's based
on an old calculation. And what I

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mean by that old calculation is the
fact that back in the day, we

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don't have to be exact on timeline, but one hundred years ago people were

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not living to the age they're living
now, not at all. And so

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the idea of getting married at an
early age was because the concept of procreation

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and the concept of why you want
to get married because you don't know if

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that person is going to die pretty
quickly. And nowadays, because of healthcare

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and because of the things that we
know an evolution, we're living longer than

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we ever have. But the problem
is the old calculation. So we're basing

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our perceived success based on old calculations. Many of you may say, well,

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I don't own a business. I'm
still paying off student loans, I'm

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still paying off credit card debt,
i haven't had my first child and I

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want to have a child. I
haven't even gotten married yet. And some

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of you may say, well,
I've been married three times and I haven't

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found the right person yet. What
does that say about me? Many of

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you may be wanting to have your
own career or your own business, but

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you don't, and you worry and
you stay up late at night trying to

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figure out why. And the problem
that's really existing is the fact that worrying

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about that stuff and judging yourself only
makes things tougher and more painful. And

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in that process making things tougher and
more painful, we lose sight of what

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we need and I find it interesting
because I work with lots of clients from

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all different walks of life, lots
of clients from all different walks of life,

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different ages, different career backgrounds,
different upbringing, all that good stuff

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from all around the world, and
the issues and the problems are the same,

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the fears are the same, and
it seems like it doesn't matter what

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country you live in, you still
have this old calculation of how successful you

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should be by whatever age you are. And I think that a lot of

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times, you know, the first
thing that we think about when we look

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at this old calculation is, you
know, because a lot of people are

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like, oh, you should be
married no later than twenty five and having

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your first child, you need to
be married by twenty one, twenty two,

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having your first child by twenty five. I mean, like all these

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things were kind of regulated and thought
of, and we've been moving the needle

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a little bit. But I mean, twenty five to twenty eight's not a

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big deal. But think about it. If you're thirty five and you want

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children, you're already thinking, my
gosh, I'm behind the eight ball by

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ten years, and that could be
painful because not only do you not have

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what you want or what you think
you need. You also feel well sad

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that something might be wrong with you, that something might be inherently wrong with

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you as a person. And this
is where things get in the way.

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This is where we can create our
own problems and create our own static in

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our life and not even realize it. You know, when you think about

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your partnership, you think about marriage, you think about living together. You

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know, a lot of people have
a concept of what that looks like,

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you know, and a lot of
people feel like it has to look a

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specific way. How is it supposed
to look? What is it supposed to

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be like? How does that look? And these are really really really really

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important questions for you to ask yourself, And those are things that you want

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to really think about how does it
look? Because many of you might say,

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well, I have a great friendship, but I don't have a romantic

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relationship. Some of you may say
I have a romantic relationship, but I

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don't have a friendship. Some of
you may say I have more of a

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business partner, but I don't have
a friend Some of you may say you

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have a cheerleader. I mean,
whatever that looks like. The spouse,

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a significant other, but it's interesting
how you can look at other people's lifestyles,

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other people's marriages and being in or
connection or partner or whatever, and

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you can begin to question your reality. You can begin to question the validity

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of your situation. And that's always
interesting. That's always an interesting dynamic.

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That's always interesting to me because it
makes sense to question things, and it

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makes sense. And so that's why
I feel like we have to really analyze

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the situation, understand it, and
see it for what it is. Am

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I looking at my life clearly?
Or am I examining it through the eyes

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of society? So think about it. Am I judging it based on societal

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not really laws, but kind of
societal laws. Am I judging it based

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on you know, other people my
age? Am I judging it on the

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friends and family and how they're living
around me? And I have many clients

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I say, you know, hey, you know my friends and family,

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my family, and particularly their lives
are very different than mine. I had

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a client the other day. I
was talking. She's been an executive working

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a job for a long time,
and you know, she's married, but

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hasn't had a family, hasn't started
having children yet. And she said,

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all of the people and her family
all have like three and four children,

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and they all don't understand what's wrong
with her. And that's hard because what

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do you mean what's wrong with her? What does that mean? Why are

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we always trying to be right with
our family? Why are we always trying

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to look a certain way, be
a certain way? And it's hard because

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people put so much on you,
and it's hard to have like a dialogue

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because the problem is too is that
some of those same people might actually have

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a career that's very lucrative and very
time consuming, but somehow or not they

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figured out how to juggle it all. Some others maybe not, so doesn't

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matter. No, But again,
the judgment is still real. And how

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judged do you feel you are?
How judged do you actually feel that you

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are. That's a good question.
It's a good question because how judge do

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you feel you are? How judged? Because I think the more we feel

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judged, the more we feel fear, The more fear that we feel,

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the more bad decisions we make,
the more that we rush into situations that

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we don't need to rush into.
We make judgment calls, and we do

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things that we do need to rush
into and this in and of itself is

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very important to understand. This in
and of itself is something that we we

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need to understand, we need to
examine, and we need to commit to

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because understanding this judgment and understanding how
the judgment impacts and weighs us is very

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important so that we can stop having
that judgment impact us and impact our choices

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on a large way. How much
is it impacting you? And these are

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big questions. How much is it
impacting you? How much is the judgment

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of others impacting you? Very good
question interesting? And how much of that

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judgment is impacting you to make different
decisions? How much of that judgment is

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impacting you to make different decisions or
to make decisions that you don't necessarily want

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to make, or to make choices
that you don't necessarily want to make,

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because they're not really your choices.
There are choices based on how other people

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are feeling about your life. And
it's hard to really recognize that because it

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can be hard to see that.
It can be hard to understand when we

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are listening to others about our life
when instead we need to be listening to

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our own internal self tell us what
we need to do, and that can

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be hard to hear because we're so
busy well being in doctrine, into the

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societal stuff, what our friends and
family feel, it's what we're supposed to

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be doing, our role as a
human being, our role as a female

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or male in society. We begin
to question all those things and wonder,

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you know, what is it,
honestly that what you're supposed to be doing?

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What am I supposed to be doing? Where am I supposed to be

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at? What role should I be
serving? And I know these are all

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big questions because I know that as
a listener on literature life perspectives, you

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are a deep thinker, somebody that
thinks deeply. Sometimes you feel like you

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think too deeply. It can be
even overwhelming. It seems as though you

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might be the deepest thinker you know, contemplating life, thinking about life,

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thinking about these situations. But these
are real things to think about. These

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are real life situations that really do
need our thoughts. They need us to

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be able to pay attention to them. And ultimately we have to be able

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to understand if we are guiding our
life by us, or we're guiding our

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life, but what other people want
us to do and we don't even realize

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it. Stay tuned. I have
a lot more coming up. We'll be

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talking about security, career, family, and the list goes on. Don't

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change the channel. And in the
meantime, check out my website Ashley Burgess

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dot com Ashley Barges dot com.
You can work directly with me and we

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can work out all these things and
get to your life to the exactly the

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way you want it, the blueprint
you want. Stay tuned Literature Life Perspectives

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with me, your host, Ashley
Burgess, will be back in I'll be

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back this time in two shakes during
it app and jump in the deep end

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on Perspectives. Now here's Ashley.
Welcome back live to litera two Life Perspectives

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and I'm your host, Ashley Burgess
on today's show, I'm talking about life.

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It's your life now what. Right
before the break, we were talking

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about the concept of adhering to social
agreement, social concerns as far as societal

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Oh, well, you should be
married by this time, you should have

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a career like this, you should
have this many kids and how we even

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if it's just friends or family around
us, don't realize how much we're impacted

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by those making decisions about us,
and that can be very very challenging.

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It can be very challenging to deal
with that. It can be very challenging

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to be able to see is this
something that I want or is this something

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that other people want for me?
And I think this is a very important

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consideration, I think, and until
we really consider this and understand it for

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what it is, we really truly
don't know what we actually want. We

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don't actually know if this is what
we want or if this is what other

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people want for us. And that
is my concern. That is something that's

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very important if you think about it, and I think that we all fall

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trap into it at some point in
our life about some aspect of our life,

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whether it's career, education, spouse, romantic family, all those things

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are very interesting when you think about
it, because they all come together.

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It's something that we're all wishing to
have or because that's what we want and

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we want it by a certain age, because that's what we think that we

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need, that is what we think
we need to be successful. I need

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this to be successful. I need
this to move on. I need this

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to be to declare myself as a
success at my age. We see the

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headlines like Time in various magazines that
you know, the top whatever, under

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twenty, under thirty, or under
forty, top whatever under forty. You

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know, and you go, oh
my god, that person made X y

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Z before they were forty years old. We won't go into some of the

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lineage or some of those folks or
what happened to them later, but the

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majority of them seem to be fine. However, think about how that can

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impact you, how that can do
a number on your mental and emotional state.

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I think that the societal laws,
I think what other people think,

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and I think what family and friends
impact on you. For example, you

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know, whether you have kids or
you don't have kids, whether all your

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family has kids and you're the only
one that doesn't, or you're the one

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that just seems to not be able
to get the job. You seem not

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to be able to hold down a
job, and everybody talks about how so

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and so doesn't seem to be able
to hold down a career while everybody else

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in your family seems to be able
to do that just fine. You know,

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It's interesting because I find that those
are the judgments that we have on

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ourselves. We judge ourselves constantly on
a basis of this issue, based directly

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on our age and where we think
that we should be at. And so

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I want you to just take a
moment and ask yourself, is there a

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place in my life right now a
subject matter, a concern that might be

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more of a concern to me because
of outside influence? Think about it.

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Does outside influence have me more worried
or conditioned to believe a certain way or

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to be a certain way? And
that's something to really dig deep in.

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This is not something that you think
about, Oh, yeah, all this

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has been outside influenced the whole time. I get it now. No,

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this is some stuff that's like deep
seated. This is some stuff that you

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have probably racked your brain on,
you have made decisions on, you have

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made snap decisions on making changes in
your life. These are the big ticket

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items in your life. And so
it can be hard to look at it

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in an honest truth and say,
you know what, I have been a

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bit bamboo by the situation around me. And I want you to just take

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a moment to deep dive into that
and really think about that. A moment

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to deep dive think about it.
Challenge yourself and understand that take that moment

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right now, it might be multiple
moments. You probably need to grab a

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notebook and some paper and see what
we got going on here, really what

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you know? Walk it out on
paper thinking about the different areas of your

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life and look at it. Do
I feel bad or stress or anxiety based

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on an outside influence that really shouldn't
impact me. I got a lot more

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coming up, so please don't change
the channel. We'll be talking more about

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job security, family and health and
everything else under the sun that goes along

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with your life. So stay tuned. Live your true life Perspectives with me,

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your host, Assy Purchase will be
back in I'll be back this time

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in two shakes. This is Jake
Busey and you're listening to Perspectives with Ashley

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Burgess. Welcome back live to look
at your Life Perspectives and I'm your host,

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Ashley Burgess. It's your life now
what On today's show, we're talking

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about your life, what matters to
you and how to know if something actually

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matters to you, but also that
outside influence, how to understand if some

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of this is outside influence based or
if this is all what you actually want

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and desire. Right before the break, I was really trying to drive it

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home about the concept of really analyzing
and really looking at your life honestly.

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What areas of my life have I
been worried or stressed out about only because

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of societal influence or parental influence,
or family influence or friends. And that's

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something to really look at. Whether
you're saying, oh my gosh, whether

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you're influenced by magazine articles. Let's
say you know the top you know,

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the top fifty under forty years old
and you go, oh my god,

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I'm not at that level. You
know, that's a big one. Or

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I don't have kids and you know
I'm I'm hitting forty almost, or you

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know, I don't have that career
that I am super happy about, you

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know. And it's interesting when you
look at family too. Family can almost

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bring out the best and workst right
because you have people that are doing possibly

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things that you would like to do, and you have people that are doing

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the opposite. But a lot of
times when you're in family dynamics as a

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judgment, a judgment on how you're
doing based on how they are doing,

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how their life is, what their
life looks at. I declined the other

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day that was just you know it, what's in because they said, you

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know, I'm working hard, I'm
trying to put myself through doctoral school,

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you know, uh, you know, and they and they look at their

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their family, their brothers and their
sisters and brothers and sisters, all of

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you know, gotten you know,
multiple degrees, working in successful, successful

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careers where they're you know, some
of them are even nationally known. Some

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of them have been able to do
all this and have three and four children,

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and it really puts into perspective and
it's really hard because if you're judging

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yourself, you begin to judge yourself
on all of these aspects, not just

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one and my clients. You know, I'm judging myself on the fact that

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I'm still putting myself through school.
I'm judging myself that I haven't been able

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to really start a family because I
haven't had the time, in the in

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the in the ability to and then
I'm not at that career level. And

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you know, they were saying that
every holiday is just almost a beat down

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because you're seeing what other people are
doing and you're feeling bad about not being

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there. You know, whether it
is that all your siblings are getting married

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and you're the only one that's never
really had a successful relationship. That can

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be really challenging. And all year, you know, there's wedding and engagements

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all year, and it can be
really challenging to be there and say,

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wow, you know, I just
this doesn't seem to be working for me.

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I'm this age, and I'm in
fear of being alone. And when

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you're seeing everybody else getting married or
engaged, and some of you women and

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men out there looking at Instagram and
seeing the rings and the engagements, it

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begins to make you feel sad,
depressed and overwhelmed because you're feeling as though

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you're missing the boat. But again, we are basing this on an age,

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an age concept, and what I
call that is what I was talking

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about in the first segments today's show
was the old calculation. That old calculation,

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because remember we based on when we
should get keV kids and get married

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and all that stuff based on an
old calculation. Oh man, we're gonna

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die soon. I mean, like
back in the day, youan just didn't

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live long. It wasn't like we
had this long, luscious, luxurious life.

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It was painful. I mean,
we didn't even have like running water

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at one time. I mean,
besides the fact that you know, AC

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took a long time to show up
and the empowered vehicles, I mean,

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think about how hard life was and
how challenging it was, and you didn't

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know how long you were going to
live, and something as small as an

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infected tooth could kill you. And
knowing that, you know, there were

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decisions made at young ages to have
kids. Women had kids at very very

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young ages. You know, education
was very little for many people. And

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now things have changed and the medical
industry has changed, and I'm not saying

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that it's the best right now,
but I'm saying it has gotten a lot

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better, and things are there where
you can live longer in a sense,

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and you can do things and you
don't have to sit there and race into

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life in the in the worry and
anticipation that you might die at the age

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of thirty five or forty or fifty. And so the whole idea of being

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middle aged right now is to me, that's just like an old archaic concept.

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Middle age is old. An archaic
is an archaic concept because there really

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is no middle age. What does
middle age mean? Middle age fifty now

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I don't think so. I mean
they're talking about how people can live to

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one hundred and twenty. I mean, think about it. And the fact

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is that what does it mean middle
age? What does that mean? And

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how are we defining it? And
I understand something you say, well,

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there are some things actually that you
got to do by a certain time,

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you know, like having children for
women at a certain time. And I

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understand that. But you can also
do a surrogate. You know, you

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can also freeze your eggs, you
can do a surrogacy. You can also

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adopt multiple levels. There's multiple things
out there that you can do. So

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there is possibilities to the desires that
you have. You know, I think

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that a lot of times we get
into this conundrum and fear and worry and

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black hole of thoughts and process to
a point where we almost get to a

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point of sadness in our own life. We're sad in our own life.

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We get sad, we get depressed
because we feel as though I just can't

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seem to get this right. And
you know, if you think about kind

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of like the lineup of things like
you know, partner, your significant other,

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you know, having security, you
know, having someone that's there,

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having some job security, feeling secure
in your own life. You know what

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about family? Have you started a
family? Have you not? And I

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know that nowadays it's interesting too,
because nowadays there's a lot of people that

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choose to have pets, dogs,
cats, birds, whatever, pigs in

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order to have you know, it's
it's their children, and what's wrong with

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that. There's a large population of
younger people who are choosing not to bring

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children into this world because of the
state of where we are, and a

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lot of those people are also getting
backlash. I have many clients that are

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at that age, that are in
their twenties and thirties, who family and

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friends are giving them backlast because they're
like, oh, you're gonna miss this

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opportunity, the biggest opportunity of your
life, to have children. And what

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are you gonna do if you don't
have a child. I mean, that

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is your that's your right, that's
your that's your right of passage. That's

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what you should be doing. You
should be planting your seed. And it's

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interesting because you know why, if
they want to, they can, But

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if they don't want to, why
why push somebody into doing something that's supposedly

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the social norm. What does it
mean? Why why do we all have

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to have children? Is that really
responsible? Is that really what everybody needs

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to do is to have a child? I mean serious, think about it,

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think about kind of the crazy kookie
ideas that society brings up. And

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I'm not saying it's brown to have
children. If you have children, that's

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great. Some people can't have them. Some people don't necessarily want that.

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Some people would rather be the aunt
or the god parents or the friend that

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occasionally takes care of the child that
they don't want to have a child twenty

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four seven. And so again,
I think that we're changing the mold of

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the kind of the concept of family, the concept of nuclear family. I

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mean, very interesting stuff, right, I mean if you really think about

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it, I mean, this whole
concept is really changing on a dime,

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and it has been for a period
of time. And know, if you

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look at multidimensional concepts here of all
the concepts of what we want, you

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know, it's like we want this
full life, we want all this.

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We want to balance, you know, in our life we want some sort

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of balance. We need a balance. And how do we get that balance?

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How do we attain that balance?
How do we make that balance a

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reality? And these are very good
questions, but it's up to you because

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I can sit there and present the
information which I feel like is helpful and

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gives a baseline for thinking and exploring. But then you have to make the

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decision on what you want in your
life. You have to be the determining

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factor. Only you can determine what
is best for you. Ultimately, you

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are the only one that knows no
one else, only you, only you

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know, and I want you to
really think about that. I want you

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to really analyze what I just said, because other people, your spouse,

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your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your
best friend, they don't know what you

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need. Maybe they have a good
idea, but they don't know and trends

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basically what you need in your life
to make you happy, healthy, all

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that they don't know that they don't
And that's the question. That's what you

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have to ask yourself. That's what
you have to do is really think about

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that, really really analyze that,
and think about what does that look like

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to you? And that to me
is so very very very important, So

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really think about it, analyze that, think about that, because if we

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can determine what is best for you
based on what you need. You can

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make the right decision to figure that
out. But you've got to get past

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what other people want you to do, what society tells you to do,

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what you think you need to do. And then also that comparing to others,

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because you know, you're constantly comparing
yourself to others, and when we

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compare ourselves to others, we make
mistakes. And that's where I want you

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to really think about it. We
make mistakes. It's that simple when we

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compare ourselves to others. And so
analyzing that, so looking at it,

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you know, are there areas in
your life that you feel that need changes?

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Are there areas in your life that
you feel like you have a good

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beat on things? What are those
areas? How does that look like?

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I mean, can you see a
situation that makes sense? Does it make

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sense to you? And I think
that this is where we need to begin

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the roadmap. This is where we
begin to understand ourselves. And so think

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about it. Is there something in
your life that you feel needs to be

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augmented? What is that and really
write it down? You know what needs

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to change and why does it need
to change? Why does it need to

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change? Okay, and write down
what needs to change, why does it

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need to change, and what would
it look like if it did change,

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and how do you argument that?
How do you change that are that?

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You know, look at the series
of actions. Are there a series of

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actions that you can take to make
this a reality? And what are those

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actions and how do you do it
in order? And how do you keep

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yourself motivated? So, for example, if it's career and you want to

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make changes to that, what are
the changes you need, what are the

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changes you want, how do you
get there? And what's the order of

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operations? And you know, you
have to in the process to spell the

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judgment that you are receiving or perceiving
from others, because sometimes others can be

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judging us, but sometimes actually it's
our perceived judgment that gets in the way

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more of our happiness. Sometimes that
perceived judgment is what creates more static than

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anything. And that to me is
something to really analyze. That, to

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me is something to really think about. That to me is the big gauge.

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That's the thing to think about.
And so look at it, you

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know, to spell the judgment.
What needs to change, what can change,

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what doesn't have to change? Why
does this need to change. Can

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I change us? What can I
do? What can I do? How

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do I change that? And then
what is the order of operations that I

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have to organize myself, my mind, my heart, my considerations, my

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desires in And then what's the most
important change that needs to be made right

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now? What needs to take front
seat right now? What can take back

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seat? Because we really can't focus
on everything. So if there's multiple changes

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that need to be made in your
life, you have to take it one

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step at a time. We're not
being able to raise through things. We've

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got to take it one step at
a time, analyzing the situation one step

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at a time and seeing that looks
like And so if you're there, think

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about it. What needs to change, what could change? How could it

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look better? And how do we
get there? Do you have any support

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00:33:30.799 --> 00:33:34.160
or you needing to analyze us and
do this on your own? And this

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is something that I work with clients
around the world about. You know,

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we work through traumas and various different
situations that we're dealing with, fears,

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00:33:42.039 --> 00:33:45.079
anxiety, you know, the mental
records. But then we get to a

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point where we can actually make these
changes in our life that make us happy.

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00:33:49.000 --> 00:33:52.680
They make us more fulfilled, more
well rounded, and they give us

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00:33:52.680 --> 00:33:57.440
a peace of mind because we realize
that we are able to create massive positive

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00:33:57.519 --> 00:34:00.759
change in our life. We're able
to create the massive positive change. We're

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00:34:00.799 --> 00:34:05.039
able to make things clear in our
life and do what we need to do.

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00:34:05.079 --> 00:34:06.960
And so if you get a chance, go to my website. Go

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00:34:07.000 --> 00:34:13.519
to Ashley Burgess www dot Ashley Barges
dot com and check it out. Go

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00:34:13.679 --> 00:34:16.079
through the homepage and then look.
You can sign up for a coaching session

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00:34:16.199 --> 00:34:21.039
right there online and I would love
to work with you in the meantime.

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00:34:21.199 --> 00:34:23.840
Go to my YouTube channel. Check
out YouTube put in Ashley ash l E

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00:34:24.039 --> 00:34:29.840
Y b r G S or Ashley
Burgess Life Coach and you can find new

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00:34:29.920 --> 00:34:35.280
content video content up every single day
that might speak to you on different levels

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00:34:35.320 --> 00:34:37.679
of your life to help make your
life easier, more manageable, and to

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00:34:37.760 --> 00:34:43.480
make you feel more joy field.
Stay tuned shows not over yet still talking

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00:34:43.519 --> 00:34:47.119
about your life, so don't change
the channel. Literature Life Perspectives with your

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00:34:47.159 --> 00:34:51.960
host me, Ashley Burgess, will
be back in I'll be back this time.

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00:34:52.719 --> 00:35:10.639
I'll be back this time in two
shakes. Get in here. You're

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00:35:10.719 --> 00:35:16.599
listening to Perspectives with Ashley Burgess.
Welcome back Live to look at your Life

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00:35:16.639 --> 00:35:21.559
Perspectives and I'm your host, Ashley
Burgess. On today's show, I'm talking

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about your life. It's your life
now what? And many of us have

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00:35:24.599 --> 00:35:28.760
these thoughts and theories in our head
about things we should be doing right now

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00:35:29.400 --> 00:35:31.679
life. We should be living right
now based on our age, based on

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00:35:32.159 --> 00:35:37.679
our timeline, based on the people
and family members and society around us.

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00:35:37.760 --> 00:35:42.000
And we create these, you know, these feelings of success or for create

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00:35:42.039 --> 00:35:45.159
feelings of sadness based on these different
situations. And we can either look at

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00:35:45.199 --> 00:35:47.679
our life in a really healthy way
or we can look at our life and

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00:35:47.760 --> 00:35:52.119
be really upset about what we haven't
achieved. And right before the break,

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00:35:52.159 --> 00:35:54.880
I was talking about really analyzing your
situation. If there's something that needs to

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00:35:54.960 --> 00:36:00.360
be changed and needs to be augmented
first analyzed. Is this my want and

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00:36:00.440 --> 00:36:07.280
desire? Is this really needing augmenting, or is this a societal influence,

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00:36:07.480 --> 00:36:12.039
or is this a friend influence or
is this an outside influence? Basically eliminating

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00:36:12.119 --> 00:36:16.920
the outside influence from being a part
of the situation if it is not outside

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00:36:17.000 --> 00:36:22.719
influenced, societal, outside influencing,
and there's ways of really analyzing that,

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00:36:22.880 --> 00:36:23.760
like if you're saying, God,
I need to have a family, and

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00:36:23.800 --> 00:36:28.159
I can't believe I haven't had kids
and I'm at this age. You know,

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00:36:28.239 --> 00:36:30.960
it really depends on what age you're
at, you know, because you

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00:36:30.000 --> 00:36:34.039
know, science is advancing all the
time, and there's other ways of going

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00:36:34.079 --> 00:36:37.679
around things. But some of you
may be in your late twenties and worried

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00:36:37.760 --> 00:36:39.280
and it really needs to you really
need to be aware, or even your

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00:36:39.320 --> 00:36:43.519
early thirties, you need to be
aware that there is kind of more of

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00:36:43.559 --> 00:36:46.599
a timeline on that than other things. But that's still not the age that

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00:36:46.679 --> 00:36:50.840
you need to be at worry,
you know, at that type of level

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00:36:50.920 --> 00:36:52.679
of death con five, you know. And then some of you might be

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00:36:52.760 --> 00:36:55.440
looking at education and seeing, I
really wish I would have gotten back and

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00:36:55.519 --> 00:36:59.800
gotten my degree, or I really
wish I would have gone back and gotten

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00:36:59.800 --> 00:37:02.639
a master's degree, and now I'm
forty and I haven't done it. Well,

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00:37:02.639 --> 00:37:06.679
there's some people going back to school
at eighty five ninety years old,

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So I get it. It's a
timeline, but again, are you beating

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00:37:09.559 --> 00:37:12.960
yourself up about the age of it, or can we look at it with

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00:37:13.119 --> 00:37:16.599
clarity and take away the age the
old calculations, which is what I'm calling

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00:37:16.679 --> 00:37:22.159
it. Can we take out the
old calculations from our thought process and actually

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00:37:22.280 --> 00:37:25.800
focus on our life, actually live
the life that we need, separate from

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00:37:25.840 --> 00:37:30.679
the old calculation timeline. And this
is a big deal because many of you

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00:37:30.840 --> 00:37:36.239
are basing your entire life based on
this old calculation, based on what you

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00:37:36.320 --> 00:37:39.239
should have, what you could have, what should have been That don't really

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00:37:39.320 --> 00:37:44.360
add up to anything except for more
stress, anxiety, and fear in your

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00:37:44.440 --> 00:37:52.159
life. We want to eliminate the
stress and the anxiety and the fear in

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00:37:52.320 --> 00:38:00.079
your life. These need to be
eliminated like asap. And the more that

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00:38:00.199 --> 00:38:07.800
we add constraints that are not our
actual constraints into our life, the more

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00:38:07.920 --> 00:38:09.960
questioning we are about our life,
the more that we fear. So I

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00:38:10.039 --> 00:38:14.760
want you to really analyze that.
As you're working through that and analyzing the

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00:38:14.880 --> 00:38:16.639
situation, you know, is there
that fear around it? Am? I

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00:38:17.599 --> 00:38:23.760
is this really a huge, huge
concern? What are my changes I can

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00:38:23.880 --> 00:38:30.239
make, what a series of actions
that I can take? All of those

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00:38:30.320 --> 00:38:36.840
things are important, and try to
take the timeline out of it. This

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00:38:37.079 --> 00:38:42.280
is going to really help you to
really see things clearly if you can take

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00:38:42.320 --> 00:38:45.960
the timeline out of it. And
so the next time that somebody says how,

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00:38:45.000 --> 00:38:49.280
will ask you how old you are
or says, oh, well you're

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00:38:49.400 --> 00:38:52.840
at what age are you? Because
you should be doing this or you shouldn't

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00:38:52.840 --> 00:38:55.679
be doing that, you know,
shut them up to some degree. I

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00:38:57.159 --> 00:39:00.440
appreciate your analyzation of my life,
but you know I didn't ask for that.

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00:39:00.079 --> 00:39:04.840
You don't have to be rude.
Just shut them down. It's just

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00:39:05.079 --> 00:39:09.320
rude and it's wrong and it's not
right. And so really analyzing that situation

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00:39:09.400 --> 00:39:14.440
and being cool about that and seeing
it for what it truly is, and

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00:39:14.559 --> 00:39:17.960
that will really help you to see
your life clearly, but also to eliminate

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00:39:19.039 --> 00:39:24.519
the static that you don't need,
the static of people telling you and shiming

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00:39:24.599 --> 00:39:30.440
in about how your life should look, because that how your life should look

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00:39:31.199 --> 00:39:36.000
should be based on what you want
it to look like. How do you

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00:39:36.119 --> 00:39:38.440
want your life to look? How
do you want it to be? It's

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00:39:38.519 --> 00:39:43.920
your life now what so I'll let
you fill in that blank. I hope

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00:39:43.920 --> 00:39:45.679
that you've enjoyed the show. In
the meantime, if you'd like to work

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00:39:45.719 --> 00:39:49.519
with me, just go to Ashleyburgers
dot com. You can click on coaching

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00:39:49.559 --> 00:39:52.960
session and set up an appointment immediately
from the privacy of your own home,

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00:39:53.039 --> 00:39:59.760
and we work digitally on various digital
platforms to be able to meet from anywhere

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00:39:59.800 --> 00:40:02.239
in the world that you may be. I look forward to having the opportunity

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00:40:02.239 --> 00:40:05.360
to working with you. In the
meantime. If you want to learn more

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00:40:05.360 --> 00:40:07.320
about me, go to YouTube.
Just go to YouTube and put Ashley Burgess

513
00:40:07.400 --> 00:40:13.320
Bergs or put Ashley Burgess Life Coach
or life Coach Ashley Burgess and you'll find

514
00:40:13.400 --> 00:40:16.119
all video content. We put up
new video content every single week, new

515
00:40:16.199 --> 00:40:21.199
podcast, new radio shows every single
week as well, so hopefully some of

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00:40:21.239 --> 00:40:23.679
that souf will resonate with you and
we'll make your life even better than it

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00:40:23.800 --> 00:40:28.159
already is. In the meantime,
I hope that the show is resonated with

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00:40:28.239 --> 00:40:30.920
you. Please share it with your
family and friends. After the radio,

519
00:40:30.000 --> 00:40:35.920
you can find this show and a
little variation on the podcast, any podcast,

520
00:40:36.039 --> 00:40:38.199
Apple podcasts, a Spreaker, to
Spotify, to anything you can find

521
00:40:38.239 --> 00:40:43.000
it online. Stay tuned. We'll
be back next week and live your true

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00:40:43.039 --> 00:40:45.360
life perspectives with your host me.
Asking Burgess will be back in I'll be

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00:40:45.400 --> 00:40:49.119
back this time. I'll be back
this time in three shakes,