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You're in a good place now you are listening to
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Perspectives with Ashley Burgess. Welcome back live to the Ashley
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Burgess Show. And today I want to talk about malignant narcissists,
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being able to identify malignant narcissist, understanding what a malignant
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narcissist is. And I'm going to give you some examples
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in the news with people who are malignant narcissists who
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decide that they can say whatever they want to say,
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they will do whatever they want to do, and it
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doesn't matter because they're not going to take responsibility for
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their actions. And if you're in a relationship with a
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malignant narcissist, you probably feel pretty beat down by now.
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You probably feel pretty beat down, very disappointed, very upset,
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and you're dealing with somebody that has absolutely zero empathy
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for you, and somebody that actually gets happiness, gets joy
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off of upsetting you, off of putting you down. Because
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these are small people that are hiding behind this big mask.
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And on today's show, I think it's very important to
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discuss this. I think that many of you might have
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a malignant narcissist in your life, and these people are
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a cancer. They are a cancer. You want to cut
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them out of your life. And you might be in
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a relationship with one of these people, and you're gonna
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have to safeguard yourself because you know, the care is
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not real care. And unfortunately, I don't know if they're
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even capable of loving anybody because of this entire concept
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of being so negative, being brutal, and not taking any
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responsibility for anything that they do or say. Okay, they
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can say anything they want to say, and then you're
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supposed to just take them back in good graces. Now
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if you flip the script and you say something rude
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to them, something that they consider mean or disrespectful, well
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you got another thing coming. Okay, they don't accept that
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type of stuff. They don't accept anybody going against them.
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And if you do, you will pay. You will pay,
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and they'll make sure that you do. And so today
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let's talk about what it means to be a malignant narcissist.
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And it's like it's like the top of the game
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of narcissism. When you become a millignant narcissist, you are
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an extreme narcissist. You know, you are right at that edge.
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I believe like antisocial behavior, people call it sociopathic behavior.
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You're right there, You're right up on there. Okay. There's
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not a lot of you know, division between that and that. Okay,
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so it's very close. It's like they're both sitting together.
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You got like the antisocial sociopath sitting next to the
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millignant narcissist in the car. And you know how when
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you take turns and stuff like that, people kind of
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collide in the back seat, you know, if they're not
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wearing a seat belt or what have you. And this
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is how close we are when we're dealing with these
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types of people. Okay, first off, you know, when we're
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thinking about a malignant narcissist, they are self important. They
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are so important, they are more important than anybody else.
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They have extreme arrogance. Okay, they are arrogant. They are superior.
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You are not superior to them. You are this peon.
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You are a peon to them. They think everybody's a peon,
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and they are superior to you. And they're going to
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tell you that. They're going to tell you that in
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every way. And the weird thing about it is for
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many of you, if you have a malignant narcissist in
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your life, I mean some of these people might have
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a decent title. Some of them might be you know, lawyers, doctors, politics, politicians,
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you know, what have you. But some of them don't
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have much going on at all. Okay, but they're still
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playing the same game. They're still arrogant and self important.
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No matter if they are not working at all, they
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could be playing video games on the couch, they're still
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they're still arrogant, and they still have this self important
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righteousness of being better and superior and more important and
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more educated and more everything than you are. They lack empathy. Now,
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this is one of the biggest things that gets me,
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is that you can have is you can have depression,
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you can have anxiety, you can have borderline personality disorder,
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you can have various things in your life. But when
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you don't have empathy for other people, that's a problem
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with me. Okay, that's a problem because when somebody doesn't
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have empathy for you, they don't care about you. Okay,
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let's just get that straight. Without empathy, they don't care.
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You might think you've got something with somebody, but the
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moment they can get something over on you, the moment
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they can take you out, they will, they will and
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they're happy about it. So I need you to really
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start looking around and thinking about this. When you're thinking
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about these characteristics that I'm bringing up in today's podcast,
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you know, you might want to share this with a
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buddy of yours, a friend of yours that's in a
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really challenging relationship that starts sounding like this, or maybe
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a parent or family dynamic, or even a boss dynamic. Okay,
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lack of empathy. They don't care about your feelings, they
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don't care about your needs, they don't care about any
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of that. It has nothing to do with them. It's
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all about them what they need, and everybody else is
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just a means to an end. Everybody else they only
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take care of if they need something from you. And
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once they get whatever they get from you and they're
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done with you, they will throw you away like trash.
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That is the way it is. Or they'll string you along.
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They'll string you along so that they can basically use
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you as their supply and their minion for as long
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as you will let them. They will hold you as
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long as I can and suck the last blood out
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of you. You know it, seriously, it's like a vampire.
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If they can keep their minions and their gruls around
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as long as they possibly can, they will until they
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kill them. And this is kind of the concept. And
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I'm saying that Millennant narses murder people, but I'm saying,
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you know, well, they could get very close as far
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as mineline emotional abuse as well as physical abuse as well,
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let's not you know, let's not take that out of
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the ballpark as well. Manipulation. Yes, they are the creators
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of manipulation. They are the creators of exploitation. They are
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the creators of doing this. They are great at it,
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and they gain from doing it, and they get great
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pleasure from play your buttons. And they get great pleasure
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for making you feel bad and putting you down and
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manipulating and triangulating and doing all these things and telling
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you all these things, and it doesn't come to pass.
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I mean. And what I find is that a malignant
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narcissist is a great future faker. Oooh, they are good
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at future faking. They will tell you anything, anything to
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get you to get along with them, to stay by
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their side, to provide for them to do everything. Oh,
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I'm gonna be this, I'm gonna do that, you know,
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I'm gonna be the president of the United States, I
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believe it. You know, whatever it is that they're telling
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you that they're gonna do that they have no intention
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of doing. And that's one thing that you really need
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to look at when you're dealing with any narcissists for
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that matter, but definitely a malignant narcissist. They like to
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play games with your head. They like to play a
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game with your head and get you to believe a story.
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Then you then they future faked. Oh guess what when
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when I when I'm this and I'm that, and I'm
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this and I'm that and all this stuff, and you
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start believing, and you start believing the high life and
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all this stuff that you're gonna have. But there's you know,
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they're not really wanting to do that at all. That
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is just a way. That's a game that they're playing
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in their own head to create the false reality to
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get you to be a part of this. And I
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think part of it is they're so out of touch
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with reality they actually believe some of these far fetched concepts.
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They actually believe some of this. And because they do
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all kinds of crazy stuff, I mean, like doing things
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that are absolutely insane, and thinking it's okay, like it's
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like that's not even part of reality, you know, it's
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like you got to really think about that. And they
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will exploit you as well. So in the process of
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using you, they will take advantage of you. They will
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make fun of you, you know, they'll talk behind your back,
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they'll do all kinds of stuff. And they're not friends
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to anybody. So don't think that one person's getting something
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over on you. They're taking advantage of every single person, okay,
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So they can get everything they want and then take
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off or keep using you. If you want to keep
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staying because you know they're not forcing you to stay,
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you might be staying because you're trying to get them
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to change or be better or understand who you are.
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And in the process, I don't really think that they're
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learning anything, and they don't plan on learning anything. It's
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you that keep waiting for them to learn or to
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wake up or to be more empathetic. So they also
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are very aggressive. Okay, they're very emotionally and verbally and
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physically aggressive with other people. Now sometimes not so physical
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because they don't want to go to jail or do
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that kind of stuff, but they will behind closed doors,
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emotionally and mentally beats you down, you know, sometimes to
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the point where they will rant and rave for hours
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on end, repeating themselves over and over again in the
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process of beating you down like mind control. This is
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how it works. Okay, I know this sounds crazy, but
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this is reality. This is what's really happening. If you
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look in the news every day, you have some malignant
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narcissists making some comment that if the average person did,
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they would be behind bars or be buried under the jail.
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And they still do it over and over again, no
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matter what they have done in their own life, no
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matter how bad they've been, no matter how illegal they've done,
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no matter what they've done to break the law, they
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still comment about other people in ways that are unbelievable
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that they have just the audacity to think they can
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do this. Because remember, they are bigger than life. They
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are arrogant. They will go to all extremes to preserve themselves,
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even no matter what it has to do, no matter
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if it has to ruin you, if they have to
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walk on people's heads and walk on people's bodies to
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get what they want, they will. That's just the way
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it is. And you know, it's sad. And some of
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you are in relationships with these people. Some of you
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are married to these people, and you keep coming up short,
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you know, because it's like they can't. It's like you
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get beat down, you get beat down, you get beat down,
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and then they give you a crumb, and then they
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beat you down more, and then they give you a crumb,
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and then you get beaten down more. And the mind
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control is probably one of the toughest things, you know,
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because many of you don't want to believe that this
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person actually has a problem. You don't want to actually
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accept the fact, you know that this is who you're
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dealing with, this is the type of person you're dealing with.
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You don't want to accept the fact that this is
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the person you're dealing with. And this is so sad,
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And I understand it's hard because many of you might
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have kids with these people, you know, long term relationships
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with these people. But you know, think about it, come
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to terms now before it gets even worse. They can
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be they're kind of say this, and they lack remorse,
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and they enjoy causing pain to other people and they
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don't have remorse for their actions. And I want you
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to really think about that. Let that sit in for
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a little bit. Let that sit in think about it,
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because they don't have any remorse, and it shows and
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their actions, it shows, and their statements and their comments
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and what they do and what they don't do. You know,
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it's like, you know, I'm very self aware and I
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care about how I treat other people, and it matters
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to me, you know, being a friend, a family member.
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I try to go the extra mile. I you know,
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I do whatever I can. And it is interesting to
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watch how some people don't do that at all. They
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have no intention of doing that. And it's it's really
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really all. It's really all about them, it really is.
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And you know, when you when you and see that's
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the thing is that it's so all about them, and
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they are so aggressive and they will come at you
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at any level. But at the same time, these same
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people are super paranoid. They're super paranoid. They're super suspicious
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of other people. You know, any sort of perceived criticism
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not good, any sort of perceived anything. If you try
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to tell them anything that's not good. If you try
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to give them any sort of help or guidance as
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far as hey, that's not right or whatever. They they
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will fight you, they will make fun of you, they
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will bring up anything and everything you've ever done. They
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also think everybody's watching them. They think everybody's watching them.
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They think that they know they're paranoid. They think that
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there's video cameras up everywhere and everybody's watching them. You know,
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like who cares. I mean some of these people, you know,
238
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you got nothing going on, Who really cares? Nobody's watching you?
239
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Nobody and somebody. Yeah, some people are watching you, but
240
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it's like, Okay, you might be in a public position,
241
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but otherwise, you know, probably not being watched. But you know,
242
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you think about the whole paranoid is you know, suspicion.
243
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It's like, I think a lot of that comes from