WEBVTT
1
00:00:01.720 --> 00:00:03.000
You're in a good place now.
2
00:00:03.399 --> 00:00:06.360
You are listening to Perspectives with Ashley Burgess.
3
00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:11.000
Hi, I'm Ashley Burgess and you're listening to my podcast
4
00:00:11.199 --> 00:00:15.320
formerly known as the Ligature Life Perspectives Podcast. Today, I
5
00:00:15.359 --> 00:00:18.320
want to ponder and think about what we consider our
6
00:00:18.440 --> 00:00:22.760
small things, what really matters in our life, and giving
7
00:00:22.800 --> 00:00:26.440
you some tools and some techniques for having gratitude but
8
00:00:26.600 --> 00:00:33.240
also seeing a deeper value, having more freedom, experiencing more happiness,
9
00:00:33.320 --> 00:00:37.600
more joy less drama every single day of your life.
10
00:00:37.640 --> 00:00:39.520
I mean, I know that you're bombarded by things. I
11
00:00:39.600 --> 00:00:42.759
know that you're being bombarded by the TV, by the news,
12
00:00:42.880 --> 00:00:46.159
by the media, by social media, by friends, by family,
13
00:00:46.240 --> 00:00:49.960
by drama. Everything under the sun is trying to take
14
00:00:50.000 --> 00:00:54.039
you off your connection with the things that actually can
15
00:00:54.079 --> 00:00:57.759
make you at peace, can make you feel free, can
16
00:00:57.799 --> 00:01:02.039
make you feel free, but also have freedom in your life.
17
00:01:02.960 --> 00:01:05.319
And so I want to talk about the things that
18
00:01:05.319 --> 00:01:07.799
we can be grateful for. And for many people you
19
00:01:07.920 --> 00:01:10.239
might say, hey, this is what I deem is a
20
00:01:10.359 --> 00:01:13.560
very small thing. But I've found that the world is
21
00:01:13.640 --> 00:01:16.560
kind of well topsy turby. What's up is down, what's
22
00:01:16.599 --> 00:01:19.079
down is up, what's small is big, what's big.
23
00:01:18.840 --> 00:01:21.200
As small, and it's very interesting.
24
00:01:21.239 --> 00:01:23.959
And so we're gonna discuss that today, and I'm gonna
25
00:01:23.959 --> 00:01:26.280
help you to see some things in your life that
26
00:01:26.359 --> 00:01:30.680
are gonna add some joy, some peace of mind, and
27
00:01:30.799 --> 00:01:33.280
some gratitude, because that's what we need to be able
28
00:01:33.319 --> 00:01:35.920
to get through this stuff, to get through this life,
29
00:01:36.400 --> 00:01:40.200
and to see this silver lining because it can be overwhelming.
30
00:01:40.680 --> 00:01:42.400
Let's talk about some of the small things that are
31
00:01:42.400 --> 00:01:44.280
actually really big things in our day to day life,
32
00:01:44.319 --> 00:01:46.319
because you know how they say they always kind of,
33
00:01:46.400 --> 00:01:50.280
you know, minimize the important things and maximize the things
34
00:01:50.280 --> 00:01:52.359
that aren't important. You know, it's all about it's this
35
00:01:52.480 --> 00:01:54.719
material society. You're supposed to have this and that at
36
00:01:54.760 --> 00:01:57.560
a big house, at a great car, multiple cars and
37
00:01:57.959 --> 00:02:01.000
planes and trains and everything else, supposed to all this stuff,
38
00:02:01.079 --> 00:02:05.120
jewelry's diamonds, multiple closets with so many clothes in it.
39
00:02:05.480 --> 00:02:07.359
I mean, you know that's what it's all about, right,
40
00:02:07.400 --> 00:02:11.599
It's all about getting things, buying things, having things, hoarding things.
41
00:02:12.039 --> 00:02:14.000
But that's not what's important.
42
00:02:15.080 --> 00:02:19.080
And so let's talk today about what really is and
43
00:02:19.159 --> 00:02:21.520
how do we begin to get more perspective on our life.
44
00:02:21.520 --> 00:02:25.520
How do we begin to find happier, joyful more. I
45
00:02:25.560 --> 00:02:28.520
don't know, just things that actually resonate at our highest frequency.
46
00:02:28.919 --> 00:02:31.479
How do we do that? And so, you know, the
47
00:02:31.520 --> 00:02:35.560
small things are actually everything, because the small things are
48
00:02:35.560 --> 00:02:39.719
not really small, right, They're actually quite large and they
49
00:02:39.759 --> 00:02:42.280
mean quite a bit. And the other day I kind
50
00:02:42.280 --> 00:02:44.719
of realize, you know, after you know, you go through
51
00:02:44.759 --> 00:02:46.400
a lot of these things in life, and you realize
52
00:02:46.439 --> 00:02:48.719
that most of the stuff that's talked about is bs.
53
00:02:48.800 --> 00:02:51.439
You realize that most of the news is BS. Most
54
00:02:51.479 --> 00:02:54.080
of the stuff on social media's BS. You know, what
55
00:02:54.120 --> 00:02:56.719
they tell us is true is probably not very true.
56
00:02:56.960 --> 00:02:58.560
And we go along and we kind of you know,
57
00:02:58.719 --> 00:03:01.960
you have one you know, awakening and another disillusionment, you know,
58
00:03:02.000 --> 00:03:03.960
and you get this, you know, you're like, wow, okay,
59
00:03:03.960 --> 00:03:07.479
here I am disillusioned again based on some false reality.
60
00:03:08.840 --> 00:03:10.080
So one of the things that I want you to
61
00:03:10.080 --> 00:03:10.479
think about.
62
00:03:10.520 --> 00:03:11.919
I was walking down the street the other day and
63
00:03:11.960 --> 00:03:14.599
I was coming back from the grocery store, and you know,
64
00:03:14.680 --> 00:03:15.360
I was just looking.
65
00:03:15.439 --> 00:03:17.719
It was like it was amazing. It was like this great,
66
00:03:18.560 --> 00:03:19.680
great weather day.
67
00:03:20.560 --> 00:03:22.039
And I'm one of those kind of people. I never
68
00:03:22.039 --> 00:03:24.120
really paid attention to the weather. I wasn't like, oh,
69
00:03:24.159 --> 00:03:26.639
I got what a great day or whatever. But it's like,
70
00:03:26.680 --> 00:03:31.319
when there are great days, do something about it. When
71
00:03:31.319 --> 00:03:34.520
there is a great day and you walk outside and
72
00:03:34.560 --> 00:03:37.080
the weather is so nice and the air is so clean,
73
00:03:37.120 --> 00:03:40.000
and the sun is shining like it should be shining,
74
00:03:40.599 --> 00:03:44.479
like a real sun should be shining, it's time to
75
00:03:44.560 --> 00:03:47.439
really enjoy that, relish in it, see it for what
76
00:03:47.560 --> 00:03:50.159
it is, see it in that moment for what it
77
00:03:50.199 --> 00:03:52.800
really is, and enjoy it and be in the moment.
78
00:03:52.840 --> 00:03:55.120
And that's what's so important, is being in the moment
79
00:03:55.560 --> 00:03:57.520
and seeing it for what it is, seeing it and
80
00:03:57.919 --> 00:04:03.840
participating is so important. It's really amazing when you actually participate.
81
00:04:05.080 --> 00:04:09.479
Like right now, as I'm recording this podcast, I'm looking
82
00:04:09.520 --> 00:04:13.360
out my window and I have this squirrel that has
83
00:04:13.599 --> 00:04:16.120
has lived on the property for a very long time,
84
00:04:16.199 --> 00:04:19.600
and she's staring at me. She's sitting on the fence
85
00:04:19.639 --> 00:04:22.560
line looking right into right into my office and it's
86
00:04:22.600 --> 00:04:24.079
adorable and she's just.
87
00:04:24.040 --> 00:04:24.839
Looking right at me.
88
00:04:24.879 --> 00:04:28.000
And it's a very amazing experience to take the moment
89
00:04:28.079 --> 00:04:32.040
to recognize and realize that this is really happening, and
90
00:04:32.160 --> 00:04:34.720
it takes time to really start focusing on the things
91
00:04:34.759 --> 00:04:41.079
that actually matter you have to change your focus, basically
92
00:04:41.800 --> 00:04:47.639
reframe the focus of what you're focusing on. And you know,
93
00:04:47.680 --> 00:04:49.759
like I stopped it's about the flowers the other day,
94
00:04:49.759 --> 00:04:52.240
and you know, the roses were blooming across the street,
95
00:04:52.279 --> 00:04:56.560
and I stopped at multiple rose bushes and I and
96
00:04:56.600 --> 00:04:58.560
I smelled them and they were so amazing. And I
97
00:04:58.600 --> 00:05:04.480
remember I still that for about five minutes, and I
98
00:05:04.560 --> 00:05:06.639
was grateful for that five minutes. I was like, Wow,
99
00:05:06.680 --> 00:05:09.879
that's that's a really amazing experience I just had. And
100
00:05:09.920 --> 00:05:12.439
as I'm walking back down the street, it's like, you know,
101
00:05:12.519 --> 00:05:14.759
I realize what it's like to you know, walking down
102
00:05:14.800 --> 00:05:18.199
the street. I also began to recognize something very interesting,
103
00:05:18.240 --> 00:05:19.680
and I asked you to begin to do some of
104
00:05:19.720 --> 00:05:22.040
these exercises and I was like, you know what I'm
105
00:05:22.079 --> 00:05:26.560
I mean, I feel good, I'm not in pain, I'm
106
00:05:26.600 --> 00:05:32.600
not struggling, I can walk, i can get somewhere.
107
00:05:34.160 --> 00:05:35.319
You know, I'm healthy.
108
00:05:36.839 --> 00:05:40.759
And being able to resonate in that frequency of health
109
00:05:42.120 --> 00:05:46.000
and be gracious and have gratitude for it in the moment,
110
00:05:47.279 --> 00:05:52.160
it's very practical and a very It changes your sense
111
00:05:52.199 --> 00:05:54.279
of self and the fact that you're not just racing
112
00:05:54.319 --> 00:05:54.800
through life.
113
00:05:54.839 --> 00:05:59.560
You're actually giving attention two things in your.
114
00:05:59.480 --> 00:06:03.360
Life, and you're you're grateful for those things. You're not
115
00:06:03.399 --> 00:06:05.360
just writing it off like, oh, well, that's just the
116
00:06:05.399 --> 00:06:07.879
way it's supposed to be, because a lot of times
117
00:06:07.879 --> 00:06:13.720
we don't participate in life. We don't participate, and it's
118
00:06:13.759 --> 00:06:15.879
not until later on down the road when people are going, God,
119
00:06:15.879 --> 00:06:18.720
I wish I would have smell those roses again, you know,
120
00:06:19.000 --> 00:06:22.040
Or I wish I would have been aware of my health,
121
00:06:22.439 --> 00:06:24.519
you know, back then when I was. I wish I
122
00:06:24.519 --> 00:06:28.639
would have just been, you know, aware and thankful. And
123
00:06:28.680 --> 00:06:31.000
I think the gratitude goes a long way for the
124
00:06:31.199 --> 00:06:34.199
longevity of things as well, Like the more grateful we
125
00:06:34.279 --> 00:06:37.920
are of things and honestly grateful, the more we get
126
00:06:37.920 --> 00:06:41.079
of those things, right, or the more.
127
00:06:40.879 --> 00:06:42.120
That it's consistently with you.
128
00:06:44.160 --> 00:06:46.720
And I think it's important to understand that because I
129
00:06:46.720 --> 00:06:50.399
think many of us get wrapped up in these challenging relationships,
130
00:06:50.720 --> 00:06:54.959
these toxic dynamics we're so drawn into trying to figure out,
131
00:06:55.000 --> 00:06:57.199
you know, cluster b dynamic. Oh my god, Am I
132
00:06:57.240 --> 00:06:59.879
dealing on borderline? Am I dealing with narcissism? I deal
133
00:07:00.160 --> 00:07:03.319
with histrionic? Am I dealing with a combination of everything.
134
00:07:03.360 --> 00:07:04.199
What am I dealing with?
135
00:07:04.240 --> 00:07:06.120
Oh my god, I'm trying to figure this person out,
136
00:07:06.199 --> 00:07:08.360
and I'm losing my identity and I'm getting more and
137
00:07:08.360 --> 00:07:13.040
more code of pinnate and oh my god. But what
138
00:07:13.120 --> 00:07:15.279
if even if you're going through this, even if you're
139
00:07:15.279 --> 00:07:19.399
going through a really challenging relationship right now, you're going
140
00:07:19.439 --> 00:07:22.879
through a breakup or a divorce, this is even more
141
00:07:23.040 --> 00:07:25.160
of a need and a want to do these types
142
00:07:25.199 --> 00:07:27.920
of things so you can begin to see a different
143
00:07:27.920 --> 00:07:31.560
side of your life. You can begin to see value
144
00:07:31.600 --> 00:07:34.519
in your life even when something is not It's not
145
00:07:34.560 --> 00:07:41.399
about money, it's not about paper, It's about right now
146
00:07:41.439 --> 00:07:44.839
and being focused on what's happening. I think it's amazing
147
00:07:44.879 --> 00:07:48.879
when you have gratitude for the moments of clarity, when
148
00:07:48.879 --> 00:07:51.560
you have full clarity and you're feeling really good about
149
00:07:51.560 --> 00:07:55.680
that clarity. It is amazing to have gratitude in that
150
00:07:55.800 --> 00:07:58.720
moment of clarity. I found that I have more and
151
00:07:58.800 --> 00:08:03.560
more clarity that way, the more gratitude I have around
152
00:08:03.600 --> 00:08:07.079
the clarity, the more days of clarity I get. And
153
00:08:07.120 --> 00:08:09.959
there's some days, and you and I both though, there's
154
00:08:10.040 --> 00:08:13.199
some days where you know it's just been so stressful
155
00:08:13.319 --> 00:08:16.399
or so much going on. You know where that stress
156
00:08:16.480 --> 00:08:19.040
or anxiety is getting to you, or a series of
157
00:08:19.079 --> 00:08:22.439
events you know, some of you maybe you know you
158
00:08:22.959 --> 00:08:25.279
realize that when you go out too much, or you
159
00:08:25.360 --> 00:08:27.279
party too much, you drink too much, you wake up
160
00:08:27.279 --> 00:08:31.120
the next day, oh, feeling horrible, absolutely horrible, and maybe
161
00:08:31.160 --> 00:08:34.120
you have brain fog all day or what have you.
162
00:08:34.120 --> 00:08:36.039
You know, and you can't seem to you know, focus.
163
00:08:36.120 --> 00:08:39.039
It's like when you have those moments of real, true clarity,
164
00:08:40.480 --> 00:08:43.279
It's it's a God's gift, right, It's like, wow, Okay,
165
00:08:43.440 --> 00:08:46.320
I'm clear, and I can see things in a much
166
00:08:47.279 --> 00:08:51.960
much more complete way, much more full way of seeing things.
167
00:08:53.320 --> 00:08:55.720
I also believe that you need to cherish and you
168
00:08:55.759 --> 00:08:57.679
want to be in order to cherish these things, you
169
00:08:57.759 --> 00:08:59.399
got to be able to see that it's happening.
170
00:08:59.440 --> 00:09:01.159
And reckon the value the.
171
00:09:01.159 --> 00:09:05.399
Moments where you actually feel really good, those moments in
172
00:09:05.480 --> 00:09:08.600
time where you actually feel really good. You feel good,
173
00:09:08.759 --> 00:09:12.519
you feel lighter, you feel healthy, you feel strong, you know,
174
00:09:12.559 --> 00:09:16.840
you feel balanced, and that to me is very valuable.
175
00:09:17.279 --> 00:09:19.919
And if you can kind of hone into that, that
176
00:09:20.080 --> 00:09:24.399
is a very valuable time to hone into and be
177
00:09:24.600 --> 00:09:29.639
thankful for those times and those moments of feeling good.
178
00:09:30.759 --> 00:09:32.799
You know, it's interesting too. It's like just being able
179
00:09:32.799 --> 00:09:37.639
to be cognitive of having a day, a moment, it
180
00:09:37.679 --> 00:09:42.759
could be even an hour where it's drama free. You
181
00:09:42.799 --> 00:09:46.720
have no drama, there's no drama on the plate. You're
182
00:09:46.759 --> 00:09:52.639
feeling good. Life is good, things are good, and it's
183
00:09:52.799 --> 00:09:57.360
just like drama free and that is a spectacular place
184
00:09:57.440 --> 00:09:59.159
to be at.
185
00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:01.639
Do you begin to resonate with that?
186
00:10:02.639 --> 00:10:05.679
And I think the more you are aware of that
187
00:10:05.799 --> 00:10:10.759
drama free moments, the more that you are thankful for
188
00:10:10.879 --> 00:10:14.759
those drama free moments, the moments where you recognize the
189
00:10:14.799 --> 00:10:18.120
fact they're in a drama free moment, The more drama
190
00:10:18.159 --> 00:10:21.480
free moments you get. I think many of us are
191
00:10:21.480 --> 00:10:27.360
on this pathway of you know, in relationships and in
192
00:10:28.000 --> 00:10:31.759
you know, lifestyles that are very drama filled. And I
193
00:10:31.840 --> 00:10:36.679
think that's because it brings us some entertainment. It makes
194
00:10:36.759 --> 00:10:40.519
things interesting, I guess. But but I'm asking you a question,
195
00:10:40.600 --> 00:10:43.200
does it really bring that to you or is it
196
00:10:43.240 --> 00:10:46.559
more of bringing you down? Is it more of creating
197
00:10:46.639 --> 00:10:48.879
problems in your life where you don't see the value
198
00:10:49.200 --> 00:10:51.159
within your life, You don't see the value in the
199
00:10:51.200 --> 00:10:54.039
small things because you're so overwhelmed all the time by
200
00:10:54.080 --> 00:10:57.919
the drama, inundated in the drama, that it's really hard
201
00:10:59.120 --> 00:11:02.679
to be able to, you know, get out of that
202
00:11:02.759 --> 00:11:07.240
drama circle, get out of this type of patterns that
203
00:11:07.279 --> 00:11:10.480
we brought to ourselves, and have that time where there
204
00:11:10.519 --> 00:11:13.639
is no drama. Nobody's creating drama, you're not creating drama.
205
00:11:13.720 --> 00:11:18.200
Nobody's bringing drama to you. And I think maybe focusing
206
00:11:18.279 --> 00:11:20.440
and seeing for a moment, who brings a lot of
207
00:11:20.480 --> 00:11:22.720
drama to your life? Who are the people in your
208
00:11:22.759 --> 00:11:24.320
life that bring a lot of drama to you? What
209
00:11:24.399 --> 00:11:26.279
type of drama is it, and how do you feel
210
00:11:26.320 --> 00:11:29.720
about the drama? How do you feel about the drama
211
00:11:29.799 --> 00:11:31.840
and really think about it, because we have to be
212
00:11:31.919 --> 00:11:35.039
aware of what's happening in our lives, the people that
213
00:11:35.039 --> 00:11:38.759
we're surrounding ourselves with and what they're bringing into our lives.
214
00:11:38.799 --> 00:11:40.240
And it's not like you can just get rid of
215
00:11:40.240 --> 00:11:43.000
everybody in your life, but there is an ability.
216
00:11:42.519 --> 00:11:46.679
To limit the amount of time that you're spending.
217
00:11:47.759 --> 00:11:54.600
With certain people that are bringing stress or unhappiness into
218
00:11:54.639 --> 00:11:59.559
your life. And you know, those drama free days are
219
00:11:59.600 --> 00:12:02.879
so credible, Those drama free nights are so incredible, and
220
00:12:02.919 --> 00:12:05.360
many of you aren't grateful for it. There are many
221
00:12:05.360 --> 00:12:10.000
people out there that are living in challenging relationships where
222
00:12:10.039 --> 00:12:16.240
every single night is drama and chaos and arguments and fights.
223
00:12:16.320 --> 00:12:18.039
And you know, some of you may say, Oh, my
224
00:12:18.120 --> 00:12:21.879
relationship's boring or what have you. But I mean, I think,
225
00:12:22.000 --> 00:12:26.679
you know, trying to see the value of not fighting,
226
00:12:26.799 --> 00:12:29.559
trying to see the value of someone that's not trying
227
00:12:29.600 --> 00:12:32.080
to bring up drama or to make you feel bad
228
00:12:32.919 --> 00:12:36.000
or to you know, shame you, or to push your buttons,
229
00:12:38.759 --> 00:12:41.759
and you know, I think those are interesting things to
230
00:12:41.840 --> 00:12:44.120
be grateful for. I think one big one, too, is
231
00:12:44.120 --> 00:12:47.600
when someone actually follows through with what they say they're
232
00:12:47.600 --> 00:12:50.080
going to do. I mean, nowadays, in the world that
233
00:12:50.120 --> 00:12:52.840
we live in, it's hard to have somebody follow through
234
00:12:52.879 --> 00:12:55.159
with what they say they're going to do. They might
235
00:12:55.159 --> 00:12:57.799
say they're going to do something they don't, And I've
236
00:12:57.799 --> 00:13:00.240
realized that if somebody does follow through though, it's so
237
00:13:00.320 --> 00:13:02.720
powerful and it's so awesome and to be grateful for that,
238
00:13:02.759 --> 00:13:04.720
because the more that we're grateful for that, and the
239
00:13:04.720 --> 00:13:07.679
more we hang out and spend time with and interact
240
00:13:07.679 --> 00:13:09.679
with and work with people that do follow through, the
241
00:13:09.720 --> 00:13:14.360
better our lives become. And the more grateful we are
242
00:13:14.399 --> 00:13:16.639
for the people that do follow through, the more follow
243
00:13:16.679 --> 00:13:17.679
through we actually get.