Finding and Identifying your Support System at Any Age. A Desk To Lean On [Ep.761]

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You're in a good place now.
You are listening to Perspectives with Ashley Burgess.

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Welcome back live to Literature Life Perspectives
and I'm your host, Ashley Burgess.

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On today's show, I have an
amazing guest and emerging, an upcoming

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author who's really telling a tale that
I think is very important. Going to

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school. Going back to school is
huge, and starting a new school is

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even bigger when it comes to our
kids. And being able to have not

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only a support system but also a
book to help explain the situation, but

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also being able to really talk about
this and put some words to the situation

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because it can be overwhelming and so
taking the guess work out of it.

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So joining me live in studio on
Literature Life Perspectives is David Veloson. David

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is an up and coming emerging new
author, author of A Desk to Lean

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On as well as a financial services
technologist. David, great to have you

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in the studio. How are you
doing good, Ashley? I'm doing well.

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How are you today? I'm doing
great. I'm just glad to have

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you here. It's gonna be awesome
because I love your book. I read

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it a couple of times and it's
just it's it's so great for right now,

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and it's so important, especially when
kids are going back to school.

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Well, absolutely, you know this
is there when kids are studying new schools,

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going back to school. It's a
very exciting but also a very hectic

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time. For sure, it definitely
is. And I think that with you

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know, with kids, it's hard, you know, because you're trying to,

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you know, deal with the stress. But I also think you know,

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from a parental perspective, it can
be stressful too, and trying to

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figure out how to align but also
how to you know, create that positive

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energy is really important too. Absolutely, you know kids are nervous. The

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parents are also nervous too, but
they have to be there for their children.

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It's definitely just as stressful in many
ways and in different ways for parents.

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I totally agree with you. So
let's talk about this. So this

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is your first book. I love
it, A desk to lean on.

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So tell me a bit more about
you know, your origin and where this

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concept came from. Right, So, when I wrote this book, you

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know, I am married with an
only daughter. Her name is Grace.

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She is the inspiration of this book. And while I was writing it,

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you know, Grace was preparing to
go to a new school, and you

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know, of course she was a
bit nervous about it, and so I

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thought that would be a very interesting
story. I know it's a common theme

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with regards to parents in general and
kids just you know, getting ready for

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the new school year and all the
preparations that have to go with it,

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and I thought I would just you
know, I wanted to create a book

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that actually tells, you know,
my daughter's story, how she I like

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that. I like that, and
and I like the concept, you know,

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in the beginning, you know,
where you know, she's she's super

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cute by the way, with you
know, the the stuffed animals on the

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bed and what have you, and
she, you know, gets up and

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sees you in the kitchen, and
then it's it's you know, she's still

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in her pajamas, which is which
is also super cute. And then how

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you call her boo boo bear?
So is that her? Is that her

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real nickname? Oh? Absolutely,
I I've always been calling her boob bear,

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even when she was an infant.
So I still call her that today

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and she loves it. She loves
it. But yes, I definitely called

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her booble Bear. And that's also
how I came up with the name of

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the publishing for the book, Boo
bo Bear Publishing, so that you know,

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that's a that's an am I've been
giving her for quite some time.

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Now I love that. And then
so she's getting ready and now it's it's

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interesting too because now she's having to
go to a new school and she has

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the stress and this anxiety from it
the sphere. And I think this is

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really important for a lot of kids
right now because a lot of people are

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moving, you know, parents are
having to move because of career changes.

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You know, maybe they're moving from
different areas of the country, or maybe

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not making a huge move, but
a move that's necessary. Where the children

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are having to change school. So
let's talk a little bit about that topic,

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because that can be really overwhelming and
stressful in and of itself, absolutely,

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because there's many unknowns. I mean, especially with the going to a

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new school. Uh, you don't
know anybody, you don't know the teachers,

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you may not have any friends yet
at this new school, so that

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they're the unknowns could be worrisome enough
for a child, you know, and

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as a parent, you help your
child through that, and so what are

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some of the things that you think
are really important for parents to do in

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this situation, you know, how
to encourage their children and then how to

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open that line of communication. What
are some of your thoughts on that.

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Well, I would suggest the listen
to them no matter what their age is,

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even if they're really young and they're
maybe going into pre k or kindergarten.

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Let them express their feelings in however
they wish, and just for the

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parents to just be there for them, you know, don't try to force

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out how they're feeling, let them
voluntarily express it. I'm sure as a

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parent, and I know that happened
with me, you can actually tell when

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the child is getting nervous and they're
not saying anything. I did not pressure

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Grace to tell me what's wrong,
what's happening. You know, as a

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parent, I could figure it out
that we're getting close to that school year.

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She's nervous, it's a new school. And I think it's just important

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for parents to just be there for
their children and allow their children to express

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their feelings in whatever manner is comfortable
for their child. And I think that's

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super important too, because I think
the idea is sometimes we can't always solve

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it, sometimes we can't always calm
you know, certain emotion. But I

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think just the idea of being open
to and listening is very important. And

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in this book that's what I find
is so great, David, is because

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you know, you're basically giving you
know, your daughter grace, the room

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to search for answers, the room
to analyze her situation and then you know,

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to find avenues to solve her issues. A great yes, And you

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know, and as long as you
know, giving some empowerment to your child

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is also you know, very important
instead of trying to direct them and force

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them in a certain manner or have
them be forced into a specific feeling.

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Oh you should feel like this,
or you should feel excited, you should

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be brave about it. They may
eventually get to it, they shouldn't eventually

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to that, but let it happen
in their own time. They don't force

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the feeling on them, let it, let it come out naturally. And

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if you let it come out naturally, your child will be you know,

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more comfortable coming to talk to you
about it. And you know, just

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again it's it's very important not to
you know, force the feelings or force

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the information out of your child.
You know, they're already nervous enough.

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Let them express their feelings and however
makes them feel comfortable. I totally agree

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with you, David, because I
think that right now, more than ever,

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I think all of us need to
be able to be in an environment

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where we can express our feelings and
not feel, you know, not feel

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unheard, and I think feeling heard
alone. And I like how you said

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too, it's you you. You
sometimes find yourself wanting to say, hey,

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it's gonna be okay, you're gonna
love it. You know, you're

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eventually gonna love it. You're gonna
find all these friends. But it's kind

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of good to take a step back
and let them express their fear without trying

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to, you know, maybe sugarcoat
it or change it in that moment.

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Agree, And you know, I
think it's also important, you know,

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for parents to use their own experiences, you know, what was it like

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for them starting a new school or
going into new greg. That way,

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the child can relate, you know, and it's not something that's unique to

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them, you know, as long
as you know, especially if they're hearing

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stories from their own parents about you
know, how they got over there.

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You know, the courage to start
the new school or start the new grade.

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I think if there's a good sense
of relationship and discussion that can be

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had, you know, if the
parent can bring up their own experiences.

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I agree. And so that's interesting
too, because I didn't think about that.

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So did you ever experience this growing
up too? Is changing schools or

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being in a new school. I
mean, do you remember some of those

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feelings you had? Oh? Absolutely
absolutely. You know, I went to

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a new school, uh for elementary
school, and then I went to another

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new school for high school, and
you know, and you know, of

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course, even getting older, the
feelings are still somewhat the same. You're

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nervous, you don't know anybody,
you don't know the teachers, and it

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just there's a there's a process,
you know. And for me personally,

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it was more of you know,
getting involved in different activities, you know,

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for elementary school, going to play
out in the playground. For high

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school, getting involved with different clubs, you know, and that helped get

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me to know people, get to
know the teachers, and then make friends

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from there. And so you've been
through it yourself, so you know exactly

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how it was growing up. Absolutely
absolutely and the fear is there of course,

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and then nervousness, you know.
And my parents were there for me.

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They helped me through it. You
know, they shared their own experiences,

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so that death for sure, that
definitely helped me as a child.

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Well. And I'd also like it
too, you know in the book where

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you know, Grace is sitting in
her desk and she's she's leaning on her

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desk and she starts thinking about things. And I like the concept of the

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private investigator. I like how she
becomes like the PI in this and so

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is this is this part of Grace's
you know, Moti of Operendi. Does

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she like to wear the PI hat
and start figuring things out as well?

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Absolutely? I mean whether it's she
know, she's looking for a toy she's

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got, she uses a big,
big extra art magnifying glass, uh,

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you know, and she uses that
to scan the house and she's, you

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know, looking for her toys,
or she's joking around by looking for our

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dog. You know. It's like, you know, Grace is on the

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case if you will, you know, and you know she really she likes

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to solve those kind of mysteries.
That's great, And I like how you

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know, Grace is on the case. You know, in this book where

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Grace is trying to figure out,
you know, how to pretty much how

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to get out of going to this
new school, which is a great way

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I like. I like how there's
kind of the juncture position on that.

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So she's trying to figure out her
ways out by connecting with her friends and

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seeing if they have any information for
her or any avenues to go down,

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right, and you know, and
what you find in the book is that

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her friends help her by bringing up
stories of how Grace helped them, you

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know, and it kind of brings
out the courage and grace and the reminder

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that she helped other people. Her
friends are helping her, you know,

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she's not alone in it, so
she's not alone in the situation, and

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how she came to their aid in
multiple situations when they themselves were not feeling

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very confident or they themselves felt like
a fish out of water. Correct,

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absolutely, absolutely, they have their
own nervousness, and you know, Grace

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was personable and excited to meet them
and made them feel comfortable. And I

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also like how, you know,
the parent dynamic in the story. You

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know, let's Grace, you know, go on her investigative you know,

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journalistic type experience, by not trying
to hamper her and stop her from seeing

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her friends or having that conversation.
Right. And you know in the book,

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you know, the father, you
know myself, you know, initially

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started to try to reassure her grace
got upset, and then you know,

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I, you know in the book, I took a step back and I

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let her drive you know, the
resolution, you know, try to find

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it out answer on her own,
which obviously she eventually did. And I

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like that because that's the only way
that children really learn, I think any

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of us really learn is doing it
on our own and figuring that out and

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experiencing that on our own. And
so I like how and I see that

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part two where you basically step back
and say, okay, you know,

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you were about to say, hey, everything's gonna be fine, and then

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she doesn't want to really want to
hear it, and you could have continued

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down that pathway, but you're like, okay, wait, I'm gonna give

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up some space and then let her
figure it out. Absolutely correct, definitely.

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So I find it interesting, you
know, how the story keeps on

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moving forward and how we have the
interactions with Grace and her friends. The

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interaction not only the physical interaction as
far as being in the home of her

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good friend that lives on the street, but then her other good friend who

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is not nearby. How they get
on face time or whatever and start chatting

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from two different places right right,
And you know, because that it's you

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know, the message I'm trying to
get there, that there's other ways to

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communicate. Of course, you know, there's the neighbor next door friend,

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and then there's the friend across town, you know, and that the support

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structure is there doesn't have to always
be a physical presence of somebody in the

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house or you know, a friend
next door. There could also be a

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friend to talk on the phone,
video chat, whatever you like. I

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love that. I love that.
So David, David and I have lots

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more to talk about. When we
were returning, we're talking more about the

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symbolism as well as the dusk in
the book, more about you know,

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the back to school and what back
to school means not only to the children

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but to parents and being able to
navigate these situations as well as the importance

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of literacy. So we have a
lot more coming up as well as David's

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nuggets of wisdom here at the at
the top of the hour as well.

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So stay tuned, we have lots
more coming up. Don't change the channel.

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Live your True Life Perspectives with your
host me Ashley Burdis, will be

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back in I'll be back this time. You know it. I'll be back

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this time in two shakes. Journ
it up and jump in the deep end

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On Perspectives. Now here's Ashley.
Welcome back live to Literature Life Perspectives and

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I'm your host Ashley Burgess. Joining
me today is upcoming an emergency author David

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Veloson. David and I are talking
about his first book, A Desk to

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Lean On, and right before the
break, we were talking about how Grace,

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the main character in the book,
is talking to her friends about trying

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to figure out, you know,
basically, how to get out of going

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through this new school and ways of
getting around it. And so we were

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talking about how Grace had the next
or neighbor friend who she was able to

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communicate with directly, but also how
she had her other friend who she was

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able to communicate on FaceTime. And
it's so great how we live in this

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technological world where we have these options. So David, I thought it was

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great how you had that aspect in
the book too, So it wasn't necessarily

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you had to be in the same
place, but you could still communicate with

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that person exactly right. And you
know, I wanted to make the point

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that, you know, the support
structure can come in multiple avenues. You

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have the physical presence next door,
and then of course with all the technology

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today and the phone and the FaceTime, you know, there's other methods of

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communication, there's other methods of support. Being able to acknowledge the fact that

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we have a support system. Sometimes
the support system is not local, and

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I think that's important because I think
a lot of people are moving and doing

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different things, but you still want
to stay connected with people. And I

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don't think that just because you can't
see them doesn't mean that you can't still

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be connected with them. Agree.
I agree, And you know, I

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think it's important that people do take
advantage of that and take advantage of the

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technology side of it that allows for
that level of communication to occur. So

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with both of these friends in the
book, you know, as Grace is

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really trying to get out of going
into this new school, which I like,

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I like that concept. You know, both of these kids, her

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peers, her friends revealed her you
know that she has done things for them

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that have made her feel comfortable in
their situations, right, you know.

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And I think, you know,
when Grace is trying to solve, you

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know, her own difficulties, by
talking to her friends, she's able to

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be reminded of how she helped them
in their situations. You know, the

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neighbor was new, Grace wanted to
play with her and made her feel comfortable.

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The other friend was nervous to go
into the pool, and you know,

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she you know, helped him get
the courage to come into the swimming

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pool, you know. And so
getting that level of feedback from her friends

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helped build out her courage and reminder
that she helped others. I like that.

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I like that, and I feel
like that's so important nowadays. Two

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is to recognize and I think that
this book also helps. I think kind

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of a self esteem factor too,
because I think sometimes you know, as

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we're growing up and even as adults, sometimes don't realize the impact we have

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one other people. We don't realize, you know, the positive impact we

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might have one other people and how
it's changed their lives. Yeah, correct,

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I mean it's just people need a
lot of support. There's a lot

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of challenges in this world in general, you know, and any level of

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support that anybody can get is definitely
appreciated on multiple levels. M I totally

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agree with you, and I think
that this is really important. We have

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so much to talk about, and
I don't want to get into the symbolism

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of the dust yet till our next
segment. But you know, I think

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also one of the other things that
I like about it is that you're right,

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it's about looking at support from different
angles and seeing, you know,

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kind of what support is like.
For example, you in the book,

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obviously the father, you know,
your wife obviously the mother in that connection,

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but also seeing these other people in
her life that are supportive as well.

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Correct, you know, and in
that level of support is critical,

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you know, to help get over
that nervousness and make the preparations for for

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example, going to a new school. That's amazing, David. When we

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return, we have a lot to
talk about, So don't change the channel,

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everybody that's listening to live your true
life perspectives, because we have a

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lot to discuss. We still need
to talk about not only the symbolism here,

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because there's a lot of symbolism in
this book, and there's a lot

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of concepts about leaning on others and
support and having people lean on you as

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well, and so this is a
this is something that connects not only us

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with our kids, but also it's
something that we can all think about as

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a human. Also, later on, we want to talk about, you

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know, what back to school means
for many of us, you know,

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whether it's our kids or ourselves as
adults. And then the importance of literacy

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but also the importance of support and
what that looks like in a day to

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day basis. So don't change the
channel. We have a lot more to

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talk about as well as where you
can find the book and how you can

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connect with David. So stay tuned
Live your True Life Perspectives with your host

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me Ashley Burgess, will be back
in I'll be back this time in two

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shapes. This is Jake Busey and
you're listening to Perspectives with Ashley Burgess.

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Welcome back Live to Literature Life Perspectives, and I'm your host, Ashley Burgess.

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We've been talking to author David Velosen
and David's an up and coming emergen

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emerging author of A Desk to Lean
On as well as financial services technologist,

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which I think is very interesting.
So David has a lot of things going

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on. But I'm very interested in
this book because I think that this book

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is amazing. But I think he
also has a lot of ideas that he's

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coming up with as well. And
so let's head back into the book real

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quick, David, because I really
liked the concept of we had talked about

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how Grace had connected with her friends
and you know, had been trying to

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basically get out of going to this
new school, and she ends up coming

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back and sitting at her desk and
kind of leaning in her desk and looking

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out that bedroom window. And you
and I had talked about before this interview

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kind of the sky in the window
and tell me more about, you know,

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the concept behind that, and then
kind of what your direction was with

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that, because I find that very
interesting. Sure, so the cover of

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the book and the same photo is
actually in the book as well as Grace

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looking out the window leaning on her
desk. I purposely made the sun shine

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more than the clouds, so as
you know, as Grace is trying to

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you know, ponder how she's supposed
to solve this issue of not wanting to

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go to the new school. She's
looking out her window. The sun is

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shining, and I purposely use that
symbol to override the clouds in the sky.

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And of course the desk itself is
a symbol for this book. And

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as as Grace finds out, you
know, the desk is you know,

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not needed and she has friends and
family to Lena. I love that because

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we see her throughout the you know, throughout the book kind of leaning on

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this desk and and you know,
it does how a lot of symbolism,

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because you're right, it's like she's
leaning on the desk. But then she

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starts to realize that she can lean
on other people. Correct, correct,

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And you know, she learns that
on her own. She's not pressured to

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force be forced them to that,
and she just with her own, you

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know, like Grace on the case. You know, she's trying to find

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it out, and she does find
out, and you know, and of

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course that that desk, you know, is not needed from that perspective.

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And I like the concept where she
learns not only it's to me, it's

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like twofold. She learns that she
can lean on other people, but she

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also like learns that, you know, other people are leaning on her,

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and I think that that kind of
balances it as well, Like, you

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know, she's coming from a powerful
position as well. Absolutely, and even

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though she's you know, a young
girl with her friends who are similar to

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her age, you know, again, she's reminded of how she was,

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how she helped them, and she
comes to find out that through those stories

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that her friends share with her and
how Grace helped them, you know,

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she had you know, she was
personable, she reached out to them,

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she supported them, Her friends are
supporting her, and that helped to build

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up her courage to start this new
school. And I like that and I

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like the concept of her finding that
on her own, and I think that

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that's so powerful too, because I
think when we learn our own I don't

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know if it's a lesson or our
own life skills or what have you,

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it seems to be something that stays
with us for the rest of our lives.

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And I think that that's what's so
kind of empowering with your book,

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because I think that it's, you
know, it's Grace solving her own issues

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and then seeing the truth right and
you know, it's it's all. It's

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very important, you know, with
Grace being you know, as young as

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she is and being able to solve
this on her own in her own time.

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You know, this is something that
she could always reflect on, you

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know, as a memory as she
gets older, you know, she's starting

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a high school, she's going off
to college, or she's starting you know,

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her first job. You know,
these are memories that will help her

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to keep that courage going. Remember
that she's gotten through various challenges throughout the

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year, uh the years, you
know, and as she gets older,

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it should certainly help and reminder of
the strong person that she has she is

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and the courage that she has inside
of her very powerful. And I love

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this. So let's let's dig more
into you know, the concept of leaning

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in and support. You know,
I think that you know, we've obviously

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obviously we've we've all been through a
lot in the last few years, and

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and I feel like that support system
is very important. And so what would

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be some advice that you would give, you know, parents about you know,

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helping their kid to find their support
system or being able to identify that

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support system. So from my from
my lessons learned. You know, I

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don't. I did not want to
push Grace number one to either feel a

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certain way or you know, just
tell her, oh, you'll be fine,

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don't worry about it, you know. I didn't want to go down

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that path because you know, she's
not fine, She's right now. She

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was nervous, you know, and
so but I also wanted to like give

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her that leeway to find the answer
on her own. And I think it's

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important as parents that you know,
giving their child time to to help solve

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the issue, let them know that
they're there to help if they need the

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help, you know, and being
able to you know, also you know,

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give them, you know, some
guidance on real life experiences that their

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own parents went through and so that
they can they can relate to it,

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they can you know, take that
in and process it however they wish,

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uh, you know, and you
know, the child may still be nervous,

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but at least the parents have been
able to give that level of support,

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give those memories that the parents went
through, uh, to help get

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them through their own challenges. That's
really neat. Yeah, I like that,

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And I like the const up too
of kind of looking back into our

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own childhoods and some of the things
that we went through, because I think

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sometimes as adults we have a tendency
of we don't remember some of the things

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we went through, or we don't
go back and actually think about our own

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experiences. And and also maybe some
of us have judged our experiences a little

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bit in a negative way where we
don't really want to talk about it as

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well, but we don't realize the
value of how, you know, explaining

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and presenting those experiences could have on
our children exactly. And you know,

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if you're able to get to your
you know, I'll call at your child's

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level, no matter what age they
are, especially if they're younger kids,

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you know, giving them, you
know, examples that they can process,

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that they can relate to, you
know, you know, try you know,

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if a parent can step out of
the adult mindset and bring in you

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know, their own events in life
that their child can relate to. I

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think it's very important. It shows
that you know, the child is not

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alone in this and that their parents
can certainly help in God I like that.

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And you were able to also,
you know, be able to channel

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your inner child as well and go
back to some of those things that happen

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as a kid for you, And
I think that was helpful too and understanding

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you know the importance of that too, because you know, I don't I

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think that sometimes when we are I
guess, you know, older. I

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don't know how to really say that
because I don't really think age is really

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that relevant. But you know,
it's almost like we kind of disconnect from

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you know, those types of things. But it would be like starting you

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know, a totally new job,
you know, in a new place and

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not knowing anybody. You know.
It might not be that extreme, but

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at the same time, we all
have to go through those experiences and not

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know what to expect, right,
I mean, a lot of things are

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just unknown, you know. You
don't you know to you know what,

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what's the next day going to be
like? There's certain things that are unknown,

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you know, there's a lot of
things that need to be you know,

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solved and you know, to allow
the day to continue. It's just

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you just need to be able to
you know, properly prepare, you know,

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and have that courage in knowing that
you are a person no matter your

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age, that you can get that
done. You can overcome that challenge and

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allowing them to solve it too,
I think is so important because I think

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sometimes, you know, I think
it's a normal, natural response from a

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parent to want to solve the problem
for a child to want to make things

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easier, which we all want to
make things easier, but I think sometimes

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there's just this need for them to
really solve their own feelings, or at

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least be able to explore those feelings
in their own in their own way,

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in their own time exactly, you
know. And I purposely held myself back.

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I so badly wanted to just help
Grace solve the problem, not be

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nervous. But then again, as
an adult, telling my child, oh,

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don't be nervous, you'll be fine, you know, that's not the

410
00:28:03.599 --> 00:28:07.200
best. To me, at least, that was not the best approach to

411
00:28:07.240 --> 00:28:10.960
take, you know. I wanted
to give her that level of freedom to

412
00:28:11.759 --> 00:28:14.640
you know, talk to other people, figure it out on her own,

413
00:28:14.680 --> 00:28:17.799
and if she was still struggling,
of course I would be there to support

414
00:28:17.839 --> 00:28:22.680
her and provide her, you know, hopefully good guidance on you know,

415
00:28:22.720 --> 00:28:26.680
making that preparation for the new school. I like that. Okay, So

416
00:28:26.759 --> 00:28:32.440
let's talk about to the concept of
the back to school means, what does

417
00:28:32.480 --> 00:28:37.319
it mean for the parents, you
think, David, I think for back

418
00:28:37.359 --> 00:28:41.599
to school for the parents, you
know, it's it could be hectic,

419
00:28:41.960 --> 00:28:45.359
you know. And then you know, just getting the kids ready for their

420
00:28:45.400 --> 00:28:47.799
new school year. I mean,
whether it's a new school or just moving

421
00:28:47.839 --> 00:28:51.079
up to the next grade, there
is some level of prep on the parents'

422
00:28:51.079 --> 00:28:53.559
side, making sure that they have
everything their child needs for day one,

423
00:28:55.039 --> 00:28:59.160
you know. I think it's just
important that as the parents are going through

424
00:28:59.160 --> 00:29:03.119
that preparation that they keep their stress
level down because if they're if the parents

425
00:29:03.160 --> 00:29:07.240
are getting stressed, then the child
is getting stressed, you know, you

426
00:29:07.279 --> 00:29:10.400
know, and if the child could
be stressed enough with getting nervous for the

427
00:29:10.440 --> 00:29:12.640
new school year anyway. So if
the parents are able to keep a solid

428
00:29:12.680 --> 00:29:18.400
ground, you know, and just
you know, be very proactive of getting

429
00:29:18.440 --> 00:29:22.599
things ready, calmly, doing it, not last minute, you know,

430
00:29:22.599 --> 00:29:29.000
they're they giving themselves advanced time to
make that level of preparation. As long

431
00:29:29.000 --> 00:29:30.559
as the parents can try to keep
their own stress level down with the new

432
00:29:32.079 --> 00:29:37.119
school year, that should hopefully help
out their child as well. I like

433
00:29:37.240 --> 00:29:40.839
that, and you know it's important
because you're right, they're gonna see and

434
00:29:40.839 --> 00:29:44.799
they're gonna pick up on that.
They're gonna feel that stress. And it

435
00:29:44.839 --> 00:29:45.920
can be challenging because I know that
many of us, you know, you

436
00:29:45.960 --> 00:29:48.640
get you get you get scared,
you get stressed. Oh my kid,

437
00:29:48.640 --> 00:29:52.079
I was going to school. Oh
my gosh, I'm not going to see

438
00:29:52.119 --> 00:29:55.200
them all day, you know,
Oh this is a new school for them,

439
00:29:55.240 --> 00:29:57.079
you know, and it can be
at any age. You know,

440
00:29:57.640 --> 00:30:00.960
parents, you know, parents are
parents. So you're right, it's like

441
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:07.640
being able to watch your own stress
and be aware of how that impacts them

442
00:30:07.680 --> 00:30:11.640
exactly exactly, you know, and
if if, if there, if your

443
00:30:11.680 --> 00:30:15.319
stress is a parent, then for
sure the child is going to get stressed

444
00:30:15.359 --> 00:30:18.079
as well. That makes total sense
because they're going to pick up on that

445
00:30:18.119 --> 00:30:22.839
big time obviously. And you know, like when kids are going to school,

446
00:30:22.839 --> 00:30:26.519
do you have any like, you
know, I guess some thoughts on

447
00:30:26.640 --> 00:30:30.680
how to calm you know, parental
stress. So like you know, if

448
00:30:30.720 --> 00:30:33.640
a parent is stress, you know, maybe you know mom or dad you

449
00:30:33.640 --> 00:30:37.799
know, spends more time with the
kids, is you know, maybe working

450
00:30:37.839 --> 00:30:40.559
from home, and it's you know, it's hard because they've had the whole

451
00:30:40.599 --> 00:30:42.839
summer and they get to see the
kids. Is there any advice that you

452
00:30:42.880 --> 00:30:48.799
give parents to be able to calm
those nerves, I would say, and

453
00:30:49.000 --> 00:30:53.000
what I did was a lot of
family time, you know, playing in

454
00:30:53.039 --> 00:30:59.319
the backyard, going to the bookstore, getting an ice cream, you know,

455
00:30:59.440 --> 00:31:03.319
stuff that takes away from oh,
my goodness, the school years starting.

456
00:31:03.319 --> 00:31:07.000
We gotta get ready. No,
definitely don't do that. You know,

457
00:31:07.240 --> 00:31:12.640
get take advantage of the summer,
the nicer weather, and being able

458
00:31:12.680 --> 00:31:18.319
to spend some family quality time,
you know, the fun stuff that you

459
00:31:18.319 --> 00:31:22.720
know a child will, you know, definitely react to in a positive manner,

460
00:31:22.920 --> 00:31:26.640
because you know, if you're constantly
worried about stress about the new school

461
00:31:26.720 --> 00:31:30.759
year and you know your job,
et cetera, your child's gonna get stressed.

462
00:31:30.799 --> 00:31:34.000
So let's have the fun things the
family time, you know, and

463
00:31:34.519 --> 00:31:38.319
that should definitely help for sure.
I like that you're being able to have

464
00:31:38.400 --> 00:31:42.839
the fun the family time. It's
not about quantity, it's about quality and

465
00:31:42.920 --> 00:31:47.039
making those things work. I like
that a lot. Okay, cool,

466
00:31:47.559 --> 00:31:51.119
Yeah, So okay, I want
to ask you real quick before we segue

467
00:31:51.119 --> 00:31:56.039
into something else. Ideas on do
you have some other books I guess up

468
00:31:56.039 --> 00:32:00.400
your sleeve that you're like wanting to
write or some other thoughts that you're wanting

469
00:32:00.440 --> 00:32:04.720
to put out, you know,
as far as in book form. Yeah.

470
00:32:04.759 --> 00:32:08.839
So I'm in the process of starting
my second book. I of course,

471
00:32:08.960 --> 00:32:14.480
my daughter is the primary character on
this, and I think it's a

472
00:32:14.559 --> 00:32:20.039
shift from the first book. You
know, it brings together you know,

473
00:32:20.359 --> 00:32:25.240
a lot more family interaction, family
events. It's it's it's a very fun

474
00:32:25.279 --> 00:32:30.119
book that I think people would absolutely
be able to relate to. No issue

475
00:32:30.160 --> 00:32:34.200
there. Awesome. Well, I'm
looking forward to it for sure. And

476
00:32:34.240 --> 00:32:37.359
I love the fact that Grace's you
know, the muse and all these as

477
00:32:37.400 --> 00:32:40.240
well, and I like that and
I like just the the concept of that

478
00:32:40.319 --> 00:32:44.319
as well. And it's so neat
that you're able to tell those stories.

479
00:32:44.359 --> 00:32:47.240
And you know, let's talk let's
let's segway real quick to you, because

480
00:32:47.240 --> 00:32:52.799
I know that a lot of people
are gonna be very interested in finding those

481
00:32:52.839 --> 00:32:54.359
books where, you know, how
do we find you? How do we

482
00:32:54.440 --> 00:33:01.119
find the book? Yeah? So
I have my website www. Dot David

483
00:33:01.119 --> 00:33:06.160
beloson dot com. You know,
on the site, it tells a little

484
00:33:06.160 --> 00:33:08.240
bit about myself, you know,
as you know, a picture of me,

485
00:33:08.279 --> 00:33:12.279
et cetera. But it also has
links to you know, where you

486
00:33:12.319 --> 00:33:16.559
can find the book right now,
my book is on Amazon and there's a

487
00:33:16.640 --> 00:33:22.319
link from my website to where you
can find it on Amazon. And also

488
00:33:22.920 --> 00:33:25.680
you know, for if you're listening
live, you know it's live, but

489
00:33:25.720 --> 00:33:30.640
if you're listening in the podcast,
in the podcast description, will also have

490
00:33:30.079 --> 00:33:34.440
that website where you can actually click
on there and be able to go direct

491
00:33:34.440 --> 00:33:37.519
to that website. Real quick,
before we get a break, David,

492
00:33:37.599 --> 00:33:40.759
you know when you started writing this, where did it come easy or you

493
00:33:40.759 --> 00:33:44.799
know, was it did it flow
or did it take some time to write

494
00:33:44.839 --> 00:33:47.920
the book? It definitely took some
time. Being my first book and self

495
00:33:47.960 --> 00:33:52.599
publishing it, it definitely took some
time, you know, and you know,

496
00:33:52.720 --> 00:33:55.799
putting my thoughts to paper was the
first step in it all. That's

497
00:33:55.839 --> 00:34:00.680
awesome. Yeah, the first book
is always interesting, so definitely I can

498
00:34:00.759 --> 00:34:05.240
definitely relate. So don't change the
channel. We got lots more coming up

499
00:34:05.240 --> 00:34:09.159
because David is going to offer his
nuggets of wisdom. And with every author

500
00:34:09.239 --> 00:34:14.960
that I have on LIVERORATUE life perspectives, we always want to know what really

501
00:34:15.000 --> 00:34:17.320
matters to each one of these people
that we interview because it's so important because

502
00:34:17.360 --> 00:34:21.320
you know, David has a story
to tell, he also has these nuggets

503
00:34:21.320 --> 00:34:23.519
of wisdom that can really affect us
in a very positive way, and that

504
00:34:23.679 --> 00:34:27.519
is really important to me. So
it definitely stay tune because we have that.

505
00:34:28.920 --> 00:34:30.920
And I think if you're a parent
or a child that's listening to this,

506
00:34:31.000 --> 00:34:34.920
but definitely for all your parents out
there, you know, it's it's

507
00:34:34.960 --> 00:34:37.760
tough, I mean, and there's
emotions, and you know, going back

508
00:34:37.800 --> 00:34:40.079
to school is not always easy and
and so there's a lot of different things

509
00:34:40.079 --> 00:34:43.880
that go along with this, and
so A Desk to Lean On is definitely

510
00:34:43.920 --> 00:34:45.400
a book that could be a really
good choice to be able to read with

511
00:34:45.519 --> 00:34:51.199
you and your kids together for that
quality time. So stay tuned Ligor True

512
00:34:51.239 --> 00:34:53.519
Life Perspectives with me, your host
Ashley Burgess, will be back in I'll

513
00:34:53.559 --> 00:35:00.000
be back this time. You know
it, back this time in two shakes.

514
00:35:08.320 --> 00:35:15.440
Get in here. You're listening to
Perspectives with Ashley Burgess. Welcome back

515
00:35:15.440 --> 00:35:20.159
live to Ligor True Life Perspectives and
I'm your host, Ashley Burgess. I've

516
00:35:20.159 --> 00:35:22.719
been talking with David and we've been
talking about his new book, A deskto

517
00:35:22.800 --> 00:35:25.760
Leine On, And you know,
now is the time where we're going to

518
00:35:25.800 --> 00:35:29.760
talk about the golden nuggets, because
I know that David's got some of these.

519
00:35:29.840 --> 00:35:32.320
So, David, a couple of
golden nuggets wisdom that you would like

520
00:35:32.400 --> 00:35:37.719
to share with the Livior True Life
family. Sure. So the first would

521
00:35:37.760 --> 00:35:44.199
be, you know, give your
child the support structure that they need in

522
00:35:44.360 --> 00:35:47.280
however manner works for your child.
You know, it may not work best

523
00:35:47.320 --> 00:35:51.440
for the parent per se to help
guide their child, but you know,

524
00:35:51.519 --> 00:35:55.119
whatever works best for their child to
get over a specific challenge or a hurdle,

525
00:35:55.480 --> 00:36:00.760
that's the best approach to take that
that that would be one area to

526
00:36:00.880 --> 00:36:06.400
focus in on. Another one would
be, you know, bringing up a

527
00:36:06.519 --> 00:36:09.320
parent's own experiences. I know I've
already said it, but I just want

528
00:36:09.320 --> 00:36:14.639
to reiterate it again. It's very
important that a child can relate to their

529
00:36:14.679 --> 00:36:20.280
parents. And if a parent can
bring up memories that occurred during their childhood,

530
00:36:20.440 --> 00:36:22.719
new school, new job, whatever
it happens to be, as long

531
00:36:22.760 --> 00:36:25.920
as the child can relate to it, it can help. It can definitely

532
00:36:25.960 --> 00:36:30.440
help. For sure. I love
that, and I also love the fact

533
00:36:30.519 --> 00:36:34.639
of David, of how you within
this book. To me, it's also

534
00:36:34.719 --> 00:36:38.760
about that support system. It's about
locating that support system, allowing your kids

535
00:36:38.760 --> 00:36:43.519
to have that support system, and
then allowing for that family of support.

536
00:36:43.639 --> 00:36:49.159
I think that's really important. Yes, absolutely, you know it's friends,

537
00:36:49.519 --> 00:36:52.920
family, people are around you know, they love you, they want to

538
00:36:52.960 --> 00:36:59.119
support you no matter what the challenge
is. It's just I can't emphasize enough

539
00:36:59.360 --> 00:37:02.920
how important is as a parent to
support your child in the best manner that

540
00:37:02.960 --> 00:37:07.679
works for them. I also think
another aspect too, is that I think

541
00:37:07.800 --> 00:37:12.239
in any situation, when we're going
through a new experience, however old we

542
00:37:12.280 --> 00:37:15.960
are, how young we are,
I think that in the moment, it

543
00:37:15.000 --> 00:37:19.920
can be very fearful, it can
be very scary, and it's hard to

544
00:37:19.960 --> 00:37:22.320
kind of take a step back.
But I think that I also like the

545
00:37:22.360 --> 00:37:25.039
fact of how you know, in
the book you know, you as the

546
00:37:25.079 --> 00:37:29.199
father kind of take a step back
in that moment. And I think that

547
00:37:29.199 --> 00:37:34.639
this is also something that it's hard
to do because we want to take charge,

548
00:37:34.719 --> 00:37:37.440
we want to safeguard, we want
to you know, we want to

549
00:37:37.480 --> 00:37:39.320
do all this stuff. But I
think that's also something too that I find

550
00:37:39.400 --> 00:37:44.800
good that resonates with me, is
that I think being able to step back

551
00:37:44.840 --> 00:37:46.840
in a situation saying, Okay,
eventually this is going to get solved.

552
00:37:47.239 --> 00:37:51.159
You know, eventually my kiddo is
going to go to school, or eventually

553
00:37:51.159 --> 00:37:53.039
my kiddo's going to find solace and
it's going to be fine. But in

554
00:37:53.079 --> 00:37:55.760
the moment, let me be able
to step back just so they can go

555
00:37:55.800 --> 00:37:59.440
through this on their own. It
might take an hour, it might take

556
00:37:59.480 --> 00:38:01.360
a day. I take a few
days, but I know that eventually this

557
00:38:01.440 --> 00:38:07.000
is going to be solved. Yeah, it will. It should eventually work

558
00:38:07.039 --> 00:38:10.679
itself out. You know, as
a parent, you obviously know your child

559
00:38:10.719 --> 00:38:15.280
the best. You know what works
for them. You know, you know

560
00:38:15.320 --> 00:38:17.800
the type of personalities they have.
And I think the parent just needs to

561
00:38:17.840 --> 00:38:22.920
be able to proactively react, if
you will, you know, to their

562
00:38:23.000 --> 00:38:29.519
child situation and adjust that the adult. The parents should adjust their own thinking

563
00:38:29.519 --> 00:38:34.679
and their own processing in the manner
that best helps their child. Definitely.

564
00:38:34.840 --> 00:38:37.800
And and so I have a question
for you, David. Once you write

565
00:38:37.800 --> 00:38:40.400
your second book, are you willing
to come back on the show. Absolutely,

566
00:38:40.519 --> 00:38:45.159
I had a wonderful time. You're
actually absolutely counting in for sure.

567
00:38:45.000 --> 00:38:49.599
Awesome, David. I appreciate you
being on here because I think that your

568
00:38:49.599 --> 00:38:52.519
book really resonates and it's going to
really help a lot of a lot of

569
00:38:52.599 --> 00:38:55.119
kids, a lot of adults and
bringing together from you know, some quality

570
00:38:55.119 --> 00:38:59.320
time as well reading the book together, but also you know, being able

571
00:38:59.360 --> 00:39:01.480
to support each other and understanding that
no matter how young, we all have

572
00:39:01.599 --> 00:39:08.079
feelings and it's important to respect those
feelings absolutely. Absolutely, just just be

573
00:39:08.159 --> 00:39:12.800
there for your children. That that's
the most important message here. David,

574
00:39:12.840 --> 00:39:15.440
thank you so much. And you
know, for everybody that's listening to the

575
00:39:15.480 --> 00:39:16.639
show, you know, definitely we're
gonna you know, it's on the radio,

576
00:39:17.039 --> 00:39:20.519
it's live on the radio. But
then later on we're you know,

577
00:39:20.559 --> 00:39:23.079
we're we have a podcast, so
definitely checking out the podcast, you know,

578
00:39:23.159 --> 00:39:27.559
Literature Life Perspectives. We're on you
know, all aspects of podcasts,

579
00:39:27.559 --> 00:39:31.880
everything from Speaker to Stitcher, to
Spotify to iHeart to you know everything to

580
00:39:32.679 --> 00:39:37.039
Apple Apple podcasts as well, so
don't miss that. There'll be even more

581
00:39:37.039 --> 00:39:40.239
information. There also a link to
where you can find David and also be

582
00:39:40.320 --> 00:39:44.239
able to buy a copy of the
book. And in the meantime, just

583
00:39:44.320 --> 00:39:45.920
remember it's all about you know,
it's all about being able to communicate,

584
00:39:46.000 --> 00:39:50.320
it's all about support, it's all
about being able to lean on one another

585
00:39:50.360 --> 00:39:52.079
and having that support system. And
I think that's what's gotten us through so

586
00:39:52.159 --> 00:39:55.480
much stuff. And if we're able
to really find that support system and locate

587
00:39:55.559 --> 00:40:00.639
that, that's so advantageous. And
for a child to be able to have

588
00:40:00.719 --> 00:40:06.199
that support system not only gives them
the feeling of being heard and the feeling

589
00:40:06.280 --> 00:40:08.440
of being there, but also they
can see, like in this story about

590
00:40:08.480 --> 00:40:12.960
how Grace realizes that that she's been
a support system for other people and it

591
00:40:13.039 --> 00:40:15.559
also empowers them as well. So
being able to even look at your own

592
00:40:15.559 --> 00:40:19.679
life, everybody that's listening, you
know, you're empowering other people while people

593
00:40:19.679 --> 00:40:22.039
are helping you. You're there for
them, they're there for you, and

594
00:40:22.039 --> 00:40:24.639
you're leaning on them and they're leaning
on you. And this is really helping.

595
00:40:24.760 --> 00:40:30.039
So cultivating that support system, connecting
with that support system, reaching out

596
00:40:30.159 --> 00:40:31.920
even if you're far away from them, you can always go on FaceTime,

597
00:40:31.960 --> 00:40:35.199
you can always get on the phone. So stay tuned. We got a

598
00:40:35.199 --> 00:40:37.679
great show for you coming up next. Check out the website Ashley Burgis dot

599
00:40:37.719 --> 00:40:42.159
com and in the meantime, tune
back into the show Live your True Life

600
00:40:42.199 --> 00:40:45.320
Perspectives with your host me Ashley Burgess
will be back in I'll be back this

601
00:40:45.400 --> 00:40:47.679
time in three shakes,