Oct. 8, 2025

Dogs and Cats are our Family not Just our Pets. Ep: 802

Dogs and Cats are our Family not Just our Pets. Ep: 802
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The loss of a pet to some people is just that, a loss of a pet. But for some of us the loss of a pet is the loss of a child. When you don’t have children, your dog or cat is your child. The connection and bond is strong and takes work, consistency, and dedication. Buddy has been with me for 15 years, he is my child. I have friends that have children and they do love their dogs but not to the same degree. The love for them is strong but not nearly as strong when they are your children. Many people don’t understand the bond, they have never experienced this type of bond with an animal. When a dog is your child and they pass to the spirit realm, it is like putting your first born in the grave. It is not like a mere passing of a nonhuman being. There is something that still exists within our society that deems dogs and cats as pets not our beloved family. Buddy’s body stopped working on August 22, 2025 and in this podcast I discuss my truth, emotions, and the feelings of losing Buddy. It’s time to have the real discussion of love and bond with our dog or cat. This podcast was recorded the morning after his body stopped working.

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You're in a good place now.

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You are listening to Perspectives with Ashley Burgess.

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Welcome back live to the Ashley Burgess Podcast. The loss

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of a pet to some people is just that it's

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the loss of a pet, But for some people it's

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a family member, for some a child. Especially when people

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do not have children, their dog is their child. And

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I believe that more and more people from around the

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world are choosing not to have children for various reasons,

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and this is becoming even more common. The connection that

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a person has with their dog, if they choose to

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and they take the time and they do everything they

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need to do, is strong and it's powerful. But it

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takes work, just like any other relationship, just like a marriage,

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just like a friendship, just like raising a child. It

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takes work, it takes consistency, it takes time. And Buddy

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has been with me forever. I love Buddy. He's been

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with me for fifteen solid years, and he is my child.

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And it's interesting when you look at the situation and

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I have friends that have children and they love their dogs.

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I'm not saying they don't love their dogs, but it's

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a different type of love. And I think everybody out

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there listening right now understands. It's like, hey, you know,

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when you have a dog, or for many people, a cat,

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doesn't matter. That animal is not only a family member,

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but it is one of the most important family members.

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And I was telling a friend of mine the other day.

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We've been great friends, best friends actually for a very

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long time. We've known each other since middle school. And

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he has two kids and two dogs, and he said,

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you know, hey, you know, when something happens to buddy,

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you know, you'll know, And I said, I will. I said,

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but it's really hard because I think a lot of

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times when we have kids, you know, the dogs, the

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pets take you know, the back seat, which I guess

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I can see that. And I said, and when you

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don't have children, it's really a different story. It's like putting,

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you know, your firstborn, you know, you know, putting them

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in the grave. It's not an easy situation. And I

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find it interesting because I think it's something that we

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haven't really talked about. It's something that we don't necessarily embrace.

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It's something that's hard to bring up. It's something that's

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hard to give credence to. And I know that many

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of you have dogs. You're a dog lover. Many of

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you have a dog and that dog is your child

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and you care very much about that dog. And I

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know that many of you have lost dogs and it

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has been heart wrenching and painful and challenging, and it

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has been hard to talk with other people, hard to

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have that connection. And I find it interesting because that

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is a real challenge. I think that's something in our

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society like deems the fact that that's a pet and

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so it's not as important, which I find completely inappropriate

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and completely wrong. And so on today's podcast, I really

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wanted to talk about that. I want to talk about

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the sincerity of an animal, the quality of an animal,

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the christ energy of a dog, and specific and how

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many of you have connected with that dog in your life.

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And I guess this is a you know, a kudos

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to you, a connection with you, because I think many

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of us are out there where you're taking your dog everywhere.

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Maybe you take your dog to work every day. You know,

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you give your dog, you know, a car ride all

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the time, taking them on walks, you know, tucking them in,

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fixing their food, everything all the time.

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And a lot of people don't give you kudos for that.

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They don't oh wow, you know.

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You know, because it's not a kid and it's not

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so deemed normalized in our society. And so for all

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of you that are doing that, I want to pat

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you on the back. You're doing an excellent job. And

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I think that we owe ourselves that. But one of

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the most challenging situations is when a dog is not

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doing well, when their body is giving out, when their

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body is getting in the way of us continuing this

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amazing friendship, this amazing connection, this amazing family, this amazing love.

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And I just recently had that happen yesterday. I had

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to experience that on a massive level, and I realized

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that unfortunately, my best friend's body was giving out.

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My best friend in.

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All the world, who I saw every day, hung out

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with every day, who I spent time with every day.

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Couldn't do it anymore because he was in pain. And

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that was hard.

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And I think that, you know, it was nice to

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be surrounded at our vet clinic that we go to,

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and we've been going to for a long time. It's

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the only vet that Buddy's ever known, and adults knew the

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same vet, and everybody was there with us, and it

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was definitely opposite from the way that my previous dog

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had to pass. It was a very challenging night with him.

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It was.

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It was horrible.

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We had this great day, though, adults say, and I

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had this great day his last day when he was in.

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That body to go do stuff. We had fun.

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We drove everywhere, We did all kinds of things. We

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went everywhere, we did everything. He had a hamburger, he

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had ice cream, all kinds of stuff, you know, and

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we thought we were gonna do good. We thought we're

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gonna be able to get through that night and maybe

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get through another night. And it didn't happen. And my

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veterinarian was out of town. He was out of town.

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And even though I mean, you know, it's it's it's

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after midnight, you know, but at the same point him

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being in town would have been more of a comfort.

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And so it was about one am, and and you know,

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we headed over to the emergency clinic and Buddy was very,

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very sick. He was throwing up blood at that time.

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It started about an hour before, an hour and a

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half before. We were just trying everything, just if there's

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anything we can do. So we get over to the

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emergency clinic and within about an hour told Say was

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no longer in his body. He had moved on. But

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we were sitting on that floor, on that concrete floor,

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in a room that was somewhat dark, with people we

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didn't know, and it was really really hard. And yes,

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it's interesting because again my vet went out of town

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and it was very triggering. He was telling me ten

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days before, I'm gonna be going out of town on

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this trip, and I was, Oh, I got really triggered,

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and obviously for an obvious reason, because I knew what

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was coming.

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Down the pike, and I think many of us know

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when things.

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Are coming down the pike, when things are changing, when

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things are augmented and you can see and you know

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there's weight loss and there's food changes, and there's there's

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breathing issues. And we did some scans and some things

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like that, and we knew we had something, but we

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we didn't go as far as to get a cat scan.

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We got to the oncologist a few days ago and

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they wanted to do a cat scan, and they had

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to innovate him, which I didn't want to do because

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he was already having some breathing issues and he was

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already tired, he had some difficulties sleeping the night before,

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and I just wanted to, you know, take care of

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him and be there for him because it matters. And

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they said, we can also do a biopsy, but we

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would have to put him under you know, anna susy

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to do that. And I didn't want to do that

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to him either, because I said, okay, we can't. Let's

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let's get him better. Let's let's get him feeling better,

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Let's get him more comfortable. Let's get him in a

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place where he can go through these tests and it's

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not going to be so painful. We did a few

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blood tests on top of the previous ones that we did.

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We got some prescriptions as far as to two pills

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to take, and we went home and you know, I realized,

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I was like, Okay, you know, I'm gonna put this

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off for a little while as far as these tests,

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because you know, I knew that he had to get better,

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he had to eat more. We had been eating so

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well and things had been going good. We had some

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ups and downs throughout the last few months, but things

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had been very solid. I had gotten into a I

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was like, literally was a cook. I was a constant cook,

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so I cooked in the morning, cooked in the evening.

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I was cooking in burgers. You know, he was eating pumpkin.

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You know. I was going to the whole foods.

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You know, I was making eggs when he didn't want

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to eat that, you know, scrambled or over easy or

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you know, it was like, dammit, whatever I thought he wanted,

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we went for it. We finally got you know, in

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a rhythm over multiple times. But then we went to

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the on colleges in the night before we you know,

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we were okay. That night we ate, We ate, and

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I hadn't had a burger in about twenty years. Yes,

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I don't eat it, and I wasn't really looking forward

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to it, but I knew that if he was going

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to eat, it was going to be off my plate.

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So I remember, I made two actual sliders, just with

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the roll, the Hawaiian roll, and I put a little

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mayo on mine and none on his, and so I

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put them both on one plate, and I took one

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bite out of mine, and I said, oh, please, God,

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don't give me dysentery, Oh please God. But I said,

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I'm doing this for a reason. So I handed him

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a bite and he ate it, and we sat there

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by the couch and he sat on the floor because

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he didn't feel good enough to sit on the couch,

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and so I fed him and I ate, and he

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watched me eat. Then he took another bite. He watched

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me eat, and he took another bite, and he ate

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that burger and we ate together, and I was like,

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I heard my stomach going, you know, but I still

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went with it because I knew it was the right

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thing to do.

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You know.

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The next day things were okay, but I had, you know,

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explained to my husband and my family, said, you know,

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I think we just need to focus on the fact

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that we don't know how long he's gonna be here

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in this body.

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We need to be aware.

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And I have been trying to do as much as

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I could, been trying to do as much as I

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could to take care of to be there for him,

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to be there for him and his time if need,

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because he deserves it. He's my best friend. And so

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you know, I wanted to make sure morning, noon, and night,

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moving the bed around that he could sleep in, that

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he was able to lay in. I moved it from

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upstairs to downstairs, from downstairs to the office, from the

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office to downstairs, from downstairs to the upstairs, in constant

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formation that had been going on for a very long time,

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making sure that he's constantly comfortable, you know.

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And he looked great.

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I mean, we were constantly spending time. The walks got shorter,

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his ability to move around got shorter. But then eventually

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he stopped really eating. I tried everything. I tried everything,

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salmon to beef, to buffalo, to anything you can poss

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we think of baby food, even mac and cheese. The

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last food that buddy ate was some mac and cheese

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that I got at Whole Foods. And I knew, you know,

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I've never fed my dog cheese, certainly not macaroni. But

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I had just bought some because I went and bought

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some smart things for him that he didn't want to eat.

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He had no desire to eat, not one thing that

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I bought for him, not one thing. And so I said,

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you know what, I'm gonna stick the fork in that

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macaroni and I'm gonna hand him some I'm gonna put them,

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and he certainly ate it. And so he ate the macaroni,

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and I was wondering, maybe I should get some more,

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you know, it's interesting. And when the rest of the

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family got home late that night, you know, you know,

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they tried to feed him again.

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Didn't work.

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We tried to make some macaroni that didn't work, went

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00:11:48.080 --> 00:11:50.200
and got the macaroni from the same place.

231
00:11:50.840 --> 00:11:51.159
No go.

232
00:11:52.720 --> 00:11:56.279
I knew that he wasn't feeling good. I knew that buddy,

233
00:11:56.600 --> 00:12:00.440
the eater of all eaters. The prognosticators are pronosticators. If

234
00:12:00.480 --> 00:12:04.600
he's not eating, he's not doing well. And he put

235
00:12:04.679 --> 00:12:06.840
up a good show. He put up a good show.

236
00:12:06.879 --> 00:12:08.639
When you look at him and the pictures that I

237
00:12:08.720 --> 00:12:13.960
have from literally three hours before we had to let

238
00:12:14.039 --> 00:12:18.240
him out of his body, you would never believe it.

239
00:12:18.240 --> 00:12:20.960
It's like it's like getting ready and looking your best,

240
00:12:21.039 --> 00:12:25.159
getting in the car and never coming back home. And

241
00:12:25.200 --> 00:12:30.080
that's so hard. It's so hard because you don't even

242
00:12:30.080 --> 00:12:33.320
think about that. We were going to go to the

243
00:12:33.399 --> 00:12:39.120
vet yesterday morning for a shot, for a shot to

244
00:12:39.440 --> 00:12:41.759
try to you know, help open up his lungs and

245
00:12:41.799 --> 00:12:44.440
help him to breathe better, and also hoping that this

246
00:12:44.559 --> 00:12:47.879
shot would help him to eat some more. And so

247
00:12:48.200 --> 00:12:49.919
I was looking forward to it. I had a couple

248
00:12:50.000 --> 00:12:52.120
of sessions with some clients early on in the morning,

249
00:12:52.159 --> 00:12:54.240
and I said, hey, I'd already called everybody said, I'll

250
00:12:54.240 --> 00:12:59.600
be there about eleven o'clock. And you know, I told Buddy.

251
00:12:59.639 --> 00:13:01.080
I was like, Hey, we're gonna go to the vet.

252
00:13:01.120 --> 00:13:03.120
We're gonna get this shot. Then we're gonna go in

253
00:13:03.159 --> 00:13:05.360
the car. We're gonna drive around. And I already had

254
00:13:05.399 --> 00:13:07.879
an idea of having a party for all his friends

255
00:13:08.639 --> 00:13:13.919
on Saturday, a party of a celebration while he's still alive,

256
00:13:13.960 --> 00:13:15.840
while he's still with us in this body.

257
00:13:15.879 --> 00:13:17.279
I was like, this will be a great idea. He's

258
00:13:17.320 --> 00:13:18.279
got so many friends.

259
00:13:18.679 --> 00:13:22.159
I said, Hey, on Facebook, anybody that wants to visit Buddy,

260
00:13:23.440 --> 00:13:26.000
you know, today or tomorrow, let me know, because let's

261
00:13:26.000 --> 00:13:29.279
do it. He wants to see his friends. And so

262
00:13:29.360 --> 00:13:30.720
I was like, you know what we're gonna do is

263
00:13:30.759 --> 00:13:33.080
we're gonna do that. We're gonna first off, we're gonna

264
00:13:33.080 --> 00:13:35.559
go We're gonna you know, drive around, do some errands.

265
00:13:35.600 --> 00:13:38.080
We're gonna pick up some stuff for the party. I

266
00:13:38.120 --> 00:13:40.600
wanted to pick up some CBD oil and see if

267
00:13:40.600 --> 00:13:43.120
that might help him. I have a friend of mine

268
00:13:43.159 --> 00:13:45.639
checking up on that CBD oil. You know, all this

269
00:13:45.679 --> 00:13:47.679
stuff was going on. We had lots of things in

270
00:13:47.720 --> 00:13:50.000
the mix. You know, we had a day plan. We

271
00:13:50.039 --> 00:13:52.639
had a big day plan of activities in the car

272
00:13:53.039 --> 00:13:57.279
and getting stuff done. So I got him in the car,

273
00:13:57.360 --> 00:14:00.759
got him in the back seats. He's smiling. Things are good.

274
00:14:01.480 --> 00:14:04.080
We drive to the vet's office once we've gone a

275
00:14:04.120 --> 00:14:08.480
million times, and you know, and and and spent lots

276
00:14:08.519 --> 00:14:10.799
of money. And I know many of you are definitely

277
00:14:10.919 --> 00:14:13.200
understanding what I'm saying. It's part part of it.

278
00:14:13.279 --> 00:14:13.440
Right.

279
00:14:13.440 --> 00:14:16.000
People talk about, oh, I can't believe that dog costs that.

280
00:14:16.120 --> 00:14:18.360
It's like, well, the cost of that dog is only

281
00:14:18.399 --> 00:14:21.399
going to go up one hundred thousand times with all

282
00:14:21.480 --> 00:14:23.960
the vet bills and all the bills and all the

283
00:14:24.000 --> 00:14:25.879
health stuff and the food and everything.

284
00:14:25.960 --> 00:14:26.200
You know.

285
00:14:26.279 --> 00:14:29.039
And but we do a lot of things for our pets.

286
00:14:29.039 --> 00:14:31.559
We care about them. They're our family member. They're not

287
00:14:31.600 --> 00:14:34.600
our pets. For some of them, there are child, there

288
00:14:34.600 --> 00:14:38.120
are child. And so we get there and as we

289
00:14:38.200 --> 00:14:41.759
pull in, I look down, you know, at the at

290
00:14:41.759 --> 00:14:45.120
the clock on the on the on the car, and

291
00:14:45.200 --> 00:14:51.240
I realize it's eleven eleven, And I was like, huh.

292
00:14:51.320 --> 00:14:53.279
And I don't know if any of y'all think about

293
00:14:53.360 --> 00:14:57.679
numerology or anything. But I was like, that's an interesting number.

294
00:14:57.879 --> 00:15:00.039
I'm hoping we're just going in for the shot. I

295
00:15:00.080 --> 00:15:01.919
just want to get a shot and head back out.

296
00:15:02.039 --> 00:15:05.159
Maybe we'll get back out, you know, head out. And

297
00:15:05.159 --> 00:15:07.159
it's interesting when I look back, I know it's been

298
00:15:07.200 --> 00:15:10.240
a little bit more than twenty four hours, but when

299
00:15:10.240 --> 00:15:15.519
I look back, I couldn't think past getting out of

300
00:15:15.600 --> 00:15:20.639
that car. I couldn't think past it. I couldn't think

301
00:15:20.639 --> 00:15:22.600
about anything else. I was on the phone with a

302
00:15:22.639 --> 00:15:26.840
friend of mine and we were talking and I said, hey,

303
00:15:26.840 --> 00:15:27.960
I got to get Buddy out of the car and

304
00:15:27.960 --> 00:15:30.679
put you on speakerphone. So I'm picking him up, putting

305
00:15:30.759 --> 00:15:33.440
him down, getting his little Lisa on, and we're heading

306
00:15:33.480 --> 00:15:38.879
into the We're heading in to the BET's office, and

307
00:15:38.919 --> 00:15:40.919
I remember we were walking. Everything was good, and then

308
00:15:40.960 --> 00:15:45.919
all of a sudden, Buddy started slowing down, and I understood,

309
00:15:46.159 --> 00:15:47.960
I slowed down, and I tried to help out and

310
00:15:47.960 --> 00:15:49.279
I try to move him a little bit. Then he

311
00:15:49.360 --> 00:15:51.080
slowed down even more. And there was a lady that

312
00:15:51.200 --> 00:15:53.399
was looking at She goes, oh, yeah, hope, you know

313
00:15:53.799 --> 00:15:55.960
you got it, little boy, You got it, little boy.

314
00:15:56.000 --> 00:15:58.320
And I remember she was super cute and I was

315
00:15:58.360 --> 00:16:01.600
trying to you know, we were going, but then he

316
00:16:01.639 --> 00:16:04.480
got real slow. And then we got to the front

317
00:16:04.480 --> 00:16:06.840
of the door and he started circling. He started doing

318
00:16:06.879 --> 00:16:09.879
circles and then he fell out. I grabbed him right

319
00:16:09.919 --> 00:16:12.840
before he hit the ground. And as we walked in

320
00:16:12.879 --> 00:16:15.360
the door, and I'm holding him, and everybody looked at

321
00:16:15.399 --> 00:16:17.120
me and asked if I'm okay. I said, no, he

322
00:16:17.159 --> 00:16:23.080
needs help. They grabbed him, took him immediately into the

323
00:16:23.080 --> 00:16:26.600
back where the er is. You know. They put me

324
00:16:26.639 --> 00:16:30.000
in a room and I was I was very sad

325
00:16:31.840 --> 00:16:36.759
and very scared, and I sat there and waited for

326
00:16:36.799 --> 00:16:42.919
them to come then get me, and multiple people came

327
00:16:42.960 --> 00:16:47.320
in that I knew, and I was happy to see them,

328
00:16:47.320 --> 00:16:48.840
but I was scared, and I said, I want to

329
00:16:48.840 --> 00:16:52.559
see buddy. And they said, you'll see buddy. You'll see buddy.

330
00:16:52.559 --> 00:16:55.000
Don't worry. You'll see him. We'll come get you in

331
00:16:55.000 --> 00:16:56.080
a little bit. You'll see him.

332
00:16:56.399 --> 00:16:56.919
Don't worry.

333
00:16:57.879 --> 00:17:01.639
We just got to get him calm. And another person

334
00:17:01.679 --> 00:17:03.559
came in and asked what kind of medication he had.

335
00:17:03.600 --> 00:17:06.920
I said, he hasn't had anything today. Last night he had,

336
00:17:07.119 --> 00:17:08.799
you know, one of the pills that they gave me

337
00:17:08.960 --> 00:17:12.160
to give him. And then the next person said, they

338
00:17:12.200 --> 00:17:14.319
have them on oxygen. And the next person came in

339
00:17:14.359 --> 00:17:16.119
and I knew every one of these people and they're

340
00:17:16.200 --> 00:17:19.119
very nice people, and I appreciate.

341
00:17:18.680 --> 00:17:19.079
All of them.

342
00:17:19.640 --> 00:17:23.519
I don't know many of them for years. And another

343
00:17:23.559 --> 00:17:27.240
friend came in and said, you got it. You've done

344
00:17:27.279 --> 00:17:29.519
a lot and you've taken care of this dog and

345
00:17:29.559 --> 00:17:32.119
he is an amazing dog. But it's it's time, actually,

346
00:17:33.599 --> 00:17:35.000
you know, they want you to come on in and

347
00:17:35.559 --> 00:17:38.000
talk with them, and you know, and so I went

348
00:17:38.039 --> 00:17:41.240
in there and Buddy was on oxygen and he was

349
00:17:41.319 --> 00:17:45.519
laying on a table cover with a blanket, and they

350
00:17:45.599 --> 00:17:48.039
said it's time, and I said I would like to

351
00:17:48.039 --> 00:17:49.480
spend some time with him, and they go, we can

352
00:17:49.559 --> 00:17:52.480
keep him, you know, we can keep him okay here

353
00:17:52.519 --> 00:17:56.640
for a little bit because we can't move him because

354
00:17:56.640 --> 00:17:59.240
he doesn't have enough oxygen. And when I got in there,

355
00:18:00.240 --> 00:18:05.079
his oxygen level apparently was sixty. You know, we had

356
00:18:05.200 --> 00:18:07.440
done those x rays prior, and we did one X

357
00:18:07.559 --> 00:18:09.319
ray and it didn't look great. It looked like there

358
00:18:09.440 --> 00:18:13.680
was some sort of growth and it's like an additional

359
00:18:13.880 --> 00:18:16.119
part of the lung and they talk about it's funny.

360
00:18:16.160 --> 00:18:18.000
It's like, you know, us humans don't seem to have

361
00:18:18.039 --> 00:18:21.279
these additional parts of their lungs, but apparently dogs do.

362
00:18:21.440 --> 00:18:23.200
And so it was a part of a lung that.

363
00:18:23.200 --> 00:18:25.079
You could actually if you had to let go of

364
00:18:25.119 --> 00:18:26.839
it and you had to cut it out, you could.

365
00:18:27.200 --> 00:18:29.599
And so that was a great thing because I was thinking, Okay, well, hey,

366
00:18:29.599 --> 00:18:32.599
that's not that bad, right if we have to go

367
00:18:32.680 --> 00:18:34.759
in there and do surgery. And we talked about it,

368
00:18:35.200 --> 00:18:38.240
and but we didn't know you could, you know, because

369
00:18:38.279 --> 00:18:40.319
of the x ray and the eld shine. It wasn't

370
00:18:40.680 --> 00:18:42.839
it wasn't a cat skin. It wasn't enough to really know.

371
00:18:43.200 --> 00:18:45.119
And then you really have to do a biopsy, so

372
00:18:45.200 --> 00:18:47.920
it could have been also pneumonia as well as fluid.

373
00:18:48.200 --> 00:18:51.200
And so we took the protocol, the pneumonia protocol, and

374
00:18:51.279 --> 00:18:55.839
went that direction, thinking that might be the answer. We

375
00:18:55.880 --> 00:18:57.880
did another x ray and all this was this was

376
00:18:58.039 --> 00:19:01.160
you know, several weeks back, but this one looked a

377
00:19:01.160 --> 00:19:05.640
little more cloudier and a little more problematic. And so

378
00:19:05.720 --> 00:19:08.519
I walk back there and but he's on his oxygen

379
00:19:08.559 --> 00:19:10.759
tank and you know, his oxygen and it's around his

380
00:19:10.839 --> 00:19:16.720
little snout. He's laying there and you know, it's like

381
00:19:16.759 --> 00:19:20.920
you take it all in. It's very surreal. And I

382
00:19:20.920 --> 00:19:23.680
think it's so surreal because some of it's real and

383
00:19:23.759 --> 00:19:24.119
some of.

384
00:19:24.079 --> 00:19:26.799
It's not real. And what I mean by that.

385
00:19:28.799 --> 00:19:34.480
Is, yes, he's his body has screwed him. His body

386
00:19:34.480 --> 00:19:36.599
has gotten in the way of his life. His body

387
00:19:36.640 --> 00:19:39.160
has stopped him from continuing to live this life, which

388
00:19:39.200 --> 00:19:44.319
really sucks. But he's not really When he leaves his body,

389
00:19:44.359 --> 00:19:47.440
he's not really dead, and he's not in that body anymore.

390
00:19:47.480 --> 00:19:50.839
That's not him. That's a vessel where he walked around

391
00:19:50.920 --> 00:19:55.839
and moved around in this society we're in, but that's

392
00:19:55.839 --> 00:20:00.440
not him. He's this spiritual being, right. And so when

393
00:20:00.480 --> 00:20:02.880
you think about somebody says it's surreal, it's because it's

394
00:20:02.920 --> 00:20:03.480
not real.

395
00:20:03.519 --> 00:20:04.240
There's parts of it.

396
00:20:04.359 --> 00:20:10.039
Yes, we're in that room, we're in a room, we're

397
00:20:10.039 --> 00:20:14.720
going through this, but parts of it, even though it

398
00:20:14.799 --> 00:20:19.799
appears to be one way, is not that way. And

399
00:20:19.839 --> 00:20:22.680
as I'm sitting there through this, yes, it was very interesting.

400
00:20:22.680 --> 00:20:24.880
And I called up my husband and I said, you know, hey,

401
00:20:24.920 --> 00:20:26.880
they're gonna give us some time. He was at work,

402
00:20:29.079 --> 00:20:30.920
and so he had about a thirty five minute drive

403
00:20:30.960 --> 00:20:33.000
and coming back and they said, yeah, that'll be fine,

404
00:20:33.279 --> 00:20:36.039
and I spent time with Buddy. I spent time with him.

405
00:20:36.319 --> 00:20:38.519
I held his little hands like I always do. I

406
00:20:38.599 --> 00:20:41.599
always held his hands. I always held a hand until

407
00:20:41.640 --> 00:20:43.680
he got pissed and didn't want to hold hands anymore.

408
00:20:44.160 --> 00:20:46.000
He never really got pissed. He would sit in my

409
00:20:46.079 --> 00:20:47.559
lap for hours.

410
00:20:47.559 --> 00:20:50.079
Clients would be in session and they would just see him,

411
00:20:50.119 --> 00:20:51.680
and he's just so super cute.

412
00:20:51.720 --> 00:20:52.640
He would just sit in.

413
00:20:52.559 --> 00:20:58.400
My lap for hours, not really moving, just hanging out.

414
00:20:58.920 --> 00:21:01.920
In the last two years, he'd pass out, you know,

415
00:21:02.000 --> 00:21:03.759
like he would be sitting in my arms for about

416
00:21:03.759 --> 00:21:06.240
one minute and he's out, and he would People would

417
00:21:06.279 --> 00:21:08.079
laugh because he would do the head bob, you know

418
00:21:08.200 --> 00:21:11.000
back in college, the head bob where you didn't sleep

419
00:21:11.079 --> 00:21:14.680
really the night before. You're in freshman some class or

420
00:21:14.880 --> 00:21:16.880
sophomore year, and you're over there doing the head butt

421
00:21:16.880 --> 00:21:19.319
where you're almost like breaking your neck because you're passing

422
00:21:19.359 --> 00:21:23.279
out listening to this professor. You can't keep it together. Yeah,

423
00:21:23.480 --> 00:21:25.720
that's what he would do. He would do the head bob,

424
00:21:25.799 --> 00:21:30.039
you know, and adorable. Always at the office of me.

425
00:21:30.200 --> 00:21:32.839
He would he was sleeping standing up sometimes, you know,

426
00:21:32.880 --> 00:21:36.160
he got into that pattern We went everywhere together. He

427
00:21:36.240 --> 00:21:41.000
flew with me, He went everywhere, you know, and it

428
00:21:41.079 --> 00:21:43.559
was so surreal. And because it is surreal, because it's

429
00:21:43.559 --> 00:21:46.519
not real. There's parts of it that are real, and

430
00:21:46.559 --> 00:21:50.839
then there's parts of it that aren't. And I sat

431
00:21:51.640 --> 00:21:53.640
there and I was hugging him, and every time I

432
00:21:53.720 --> 00:21:57.680
hugged him, you know, his heart rate would go up,

433
00:22:00.039 --> 00:22:02.559
and he knew I was there. He was a bit sedated,

434
00:22:02.559 --> 00:22:04.839
but not too sedated. They had to sedatum a little

435
00:22:04.880 --> 00:22:10.480
bit because he was floundering when we got in and

436
00:22:10.519 --> 00:22:12.640
I had a conversation with him, you know, I said,

437
00:22:12.680 --> 00:22:14.240
you know, I love you and I care about you. Now.

438
00:22:14.279 --> 00:22:17.240
I had these conversations with him every every other night

439
00:22:17.319 --> 00:22:20.759
for the last couple of weeks. I never wanted it

440
00:22:20.799 --> 00:22:25.079
to be like in the you know, in the surreal end,

441
00:22:25.440 --> 00:22:27.720
I'm going to have this conversation of this depth. No,

442
00:22:27.839 --> 00:22:30.359
it's like we've been talking about this for a long time.

443
00:22:30.680 --> 00:22:32.599
You know, there's a little bit of telepathy here.

444
00:22:32.640 --> 00:22:35.599
We're having this discussion, you know, and it's you have

445
00:22:35.759 --> 00:22:40.960
that and you open up, you know, the options in life.

446
00:22:41.799 --> 00:22:44.119
And it was a very deep discussion. And I had

447
00:22:44.119 --> 00:22:48.519
it again and I held him and we spent you know,

448
00:22:48.599 --> 00:22:54.079
a good hour and a half together, and I could

449
00:22:54.119 --> 00:22:57.039
it was very hard to leave, you know, even after

450
00:22:57.079 --> 00:23:01.559
they did the injection and and everybody, you know, we're

451
00:23:01.599 --> 00:23:03.599
talking about old stories about Buddy.

452
00:23:03.640 --> 00:23:05.880
I mean, we had some crazy stories and some.

453
00:23:05.839 --> 00:23:08.519
Crazy stuff that happened, and and you know, there's some

454
00:23:08.680 --> 00:23:11.039
that were funny, and we were talking about him.

455
00:23:12.559 --> 00:23:15.160
But it was sad, real, sad.

456
00:23:17.440 --> 00:23:21.440
I kissed his nose a bunch before I left, giving

457
00:23:21.519 --> 00:23:26.160
him hugs. One of the hardest things is carrying out

458
00:23:26.200 --> 00:23:35.559
his collar. It's so hard. And I even checked, I

459
00:23:35.599 --> 00:23:37.799
asked if I could check with the stethoscope to make

460
00:23:37.839 --> 00:23:42.160
sure that yes, he had passed, and he had. But again,

461
00:23:44.039 --> 00:23:48.279
you know, don't leave any stone unturned. And it was hard,

462
00:23:48.880 --> 00:23:53.000
and it is hard. And I remember walking out of

463
00:23:53.000 --> 00:23:55.480
there and talking with everybody, and it was really surreal

464
00:23:55.880 --> 00:24:00.720
because also I had been in that veterinary office the times,

465
00:24:00.759 --> 00:24:05.920
and every time there's people everywhere, people needing stuff, people

466
00:24:05.960 --> 00:24:10.000
waiting on stuff, dogs, cats, all this stuff. And for

467
00:24:10.039 --> 00:24:13.279
the first time, there was nobody there. It was just

468
00:24:13.319 --> 00:24:15.160
the folks that worked there, and I knew them all.

469
00:24:15.200 --> 00:24:19.079
There was nobody waiting for a room. There was nobody

470
00:24:19.119 --> 00:24:24.319
waiting to be seen. It was just us and that's it.

471
00:24:26.119 --> 00:24:27.839
And I was so upset because I didn't have that

472
00:24:27.960 --> 00:24:30.039
day with him. I didn't have that day to drive

473
00:24:30.119 --> 00:24:33.480
around and do all those things. I didn't have that

474
00:24:33.599 --> 00:24:36.319
day to take him around and just you know, do whatever.

475
00:24:36.400 --> 00:24:41.799
And I was sad about that, and I beat myself

476
00:24:41.880 --> 00:24:43.160
up a little bit. I should have done it the

477
00:24:43.200 --> 00:24:45.279
day before. I should have done it the day before.

478
00:24:45.920 --> 00:24:47.960
You know, I should have carried him in, you know,

479
00:24:48.000 --> 00:24:50.319
I should have carried him from the car in. I

480
00:24:50.359 --> 00:24:54.720
should have carried him from the car in. But then,

481
00:24:54.759 --> 00:24:57.480
you know, you never know. I mean, maybe he would

482
00:24:57.519 --> 00:24:59.559
have gotten home and things would have been really bad.

483
00:24:59.559 --> 00:25:02.440
He out in the shot and things wouldn't have gotten

484
00:25:02.440 --> 00:25:07.160
any better. And I remember that's when I started realizing

485
00:25:07.160 --> 00:25:09.279
about Dulce, and it hit me like a ton of brakes.

486
00:25:09.279 --> 00:25:11.680
And I remember having that moment with Dulce and being

487
00:25:11.720 --> 00:25:16.400
able to have that day. But that evening was horrible.

488
00:25:17.880 --> 00:25:22.839
It was scary, and it was stressful, and I know

489
00:25:22.920 --> 00:25:27.880
it was stressful on him too, very stressful and stressful

490
00:25:27.880 --> 00:25:31.119
on me. I mean, I wasn't the one being sick

491
00:25:31.160 --> 00:25:33.880
and having the problems. I was just sitting there and

492
00:25:33.880 --> 00:25:35.960
feeling so horrible, trying to figure out what is it

493
00:25:36.000 --> 00:25:40.880
that I can do to change the situation. And so

494
00:25:40.960 --> 00:25:44.720
I realized we did get grace, even though it didn't

495
00:25:44.759 --> 00:25:47.640
feel like it, because it felt like it cut things

496
00:25:47.680 --> 00:25:54.200
too short, unfair. But yet I had a funny feeling,

497
00:25:54.240 --> 00:25:56.319
and not a funny feeling, but just that feeling of

498
00:25:56.400 --> 00:26:03.160
knowing that unfortunately the body was going to stop working,

499
00:26:04.359 --> 00:26:06.720
and he didn't want it to stop working. I remember

500
00:26:06.759 --> 00:26:08.799
the night before and I have all these pictures and

501
00:26:08.880 --> 00:26:13.599
he's smiling, and he's happy, and he's loving hanging out.

502
00:26:14.119 --> 00:26:16.160
Even in the morning before we went to the vet,

503
00:26:16.200 --> 00:26:19.559
we were outside hanging out on the patio talking. He

504
00:26:19.720 --> 00:26:23.920
was hanging out, good time, he was hanging out in

505
00:26:23.960 --> 00:26:24.480
the office.

506
00:26:24.519 --> 00:26:25.279
He was okay.

507
00:26:25.599 --> 00:26:29.440
He wanted to live, he wanted to hang out. He

508
00:26:29.480 --> 00:26:37.680
did not want to go. And I think that's the thing,

509
00:26:37.799 --> 00:26:44.160
is like he did not want to go, and I

510
00:26:44.200 --> 00:26:46.079
did not want him to go. But people sit there

511
00:26:46.119 --> 00:26:48.279
and say, oh, you know, it was his time.

512
00:26:48.440 --> 00:26:49.559
No, I don't.

513
00:26:49.599 --> 00:26:52.640
I think for most of these kiddos, it's not their time.

514
00:26:52.799 --> 00:26:55.559
They don't want to go, but they have to. It's

515
00:26:55.680 --> 00:26:56.920
like us, it's not like we.

516
00:26:56.960 --> 00:27:01.039
Go, oh yeah, hey, I'm done, ready to go out here.

517
00:27:02.039 --> 00:27:05.240
No. I mean maybe to some degree some of us,

518
00:27:05.480 --> 00:27:09.720
through work and help and dedication and spiritual attainment and work,

519
00:27:10.039 --> 00:27:14.400
will work to figure that out. But I think a

520
00:27:14.440 --> 00:27:17.000
lot of times it just happens to people. Things start

521
00:27:17.079 --> 00:27:21.519
giving out, Maine, Oregon, stop working. Things like that happen.

522
00:27:21.880 --> 00:27:23.880
It's not that you want to leave the planet. It's

523
00:27:23.920 --> 00:27:29.400
just like it fucking happens, man. And so I remember

524
00:27:29.519 --> 00:27:31.960
leaving there and a friend of mine had called, and

525
00:27:32.000 --> 00:27:34.119
another friend of mine had called, and they had told me.

526
00:27:36.279 --> 00:27:39.519
The staff up there had told me, and I picked

527
00:27:39.519 --> 00:27:43.759
out the box for the ashes. I made sure I

528
00:27:43.759 --> 00:27:45.599
could get one that I could open, and I made

529
00:27:45.640 --> 00:27:47.519
sure that I could get one that I could spread,

530
00:27:47.640 --> 00:27:50.000
And I made sure I could get one that I could,

531
00:27:50.079 --> 00:27:52.319
you know, put into different things or whatever if I

532
00:27:52.359 --> 00:27:54.279
wanted to put it into like some sort of holder

533
00:27:54.400 --> 00:27:56.680
or what have you, or just spread them out. You know,

534
00:27:58.079 --> 00:28:02.640
I picked that out. I know that I've I've been

535
00:28:02.640 --> 00:28:04.359
sent a bill and I still have to take care

536
00:28:04.359 --> 00:28:07.640
of it, but I haven't felt like it today.

537
00:28:08.440 --> 00:28:10.119
And you know, I felt like this. I felt like

538
00:28:10.240 --> 00:28:11.759
I had to record.

539
00:28:11.400 --> 00:28:13.559
This podcast because I think so many of you have

540
00:28:13.680 --> 00:28:20.200
gone through this and you haven't had an outlet. You

541
00:28:20.279 --> 00:28:24.680
haven't had an outlet to express yourself, to understand, to connect,

542
00:28:24.920 --> 00:28:29.359
to have someone that understands exactly. Maybe not for every

543
00:28:29.400 --> 00:28:32.039
single second of what you went through, but for the

544
00:28:32.079 --> 00:28:34.920
most part what you went through, what you're going through,

545
00:28:35.119 --> 00:28:39.599
what you're currently going through. Because what you're currently going

546
00:28:39.599 --> 00:28:44.839
through is hard, and you know, this is part one

547
00:28:44.880 --> 00:28:45.400
of many.

548
00:28:46.559 --> 00:28:50.319
Because the next podcast that I want to talk about.

549
00:28:50.200 --> 00:28:58.359
Is the coming home part, the leaving the er. You know,

550
00:28:58.400 --> 00:29:02.559
when you're leaving the er, when you're leaving the vet's

551
00:29:02.599 --> 00:29:11.240
office with the collar, that's a whole nother chapter. It's

552
00:29:11.279 --> 00:29:13.799
another chapter, and all these things have to be discussed

553
00:29:13.839 --> 00:29:16.920
because this is another chapter. This is something else that

554
00:29:16.960 --> 00:29:20.160
we have to walk through. And it's not about, you know,

555
00:29:20.279 --> 00:29:22.240
taking it lightly. I know that a lot of people

556
00:29:22.319 --> 00:29:25.440
have encouraged me to drink. I've really decided not, you know,

557
00:29:25.519 --> 00:29:28.400
I've stopped drinking. I don't want to do that. I

558
00:29:28.440 --> 00:29:33.880
need to process. I need to process this. I need

559
00:29:33.920 --> 00:29:37.480
to accept this. I need to open arm accept this.

560
00:29:37.680 --> 00:29:40.279
I need to hug around it and deal with it

561
00:29:40.839 --> 00:29:46.079
so that I can get some peace of mind. Like

562
00:29:46.200 --> 00:29:48.720
I encourage y'all too if you're going through this, like

563
00:29:48.799 --> 00:29:53.440
really watch the alcohol. Probably if you can't, don't drink,

564
00:29:54.799 --> 00:29:58.240
you know, watch the weed smoking. If you can, don't smoke.

565
00:30:00.720 --> 00:30:02.640
Try to think about it. How do I want to

566
00:30:02.680 --> 00:30:03.079
deal with this?

567
00:30:03.920 --> 00:30:04.279
Kid?

568
00:30:05.000 --> 00:30:07.279
If you want to call this dog, you're the name

569
00:30:07.279 --> 00:30:09.920
of your dog, buddy, child, whatever you want to say

570
00:30:10.200 --> 00:30:12.279
has meant a lot to you in your life, and

571
00:30:12.359 --> 00:30:16.319
you owe it to yourself to process these emotions. And

572
00:30:16.400 --> 00:30:18.480
I know that some of you are thinking already about

573
00:30:18.519 --> 00:30:19.440
getting another.

574
00:30:19.160 --> 00:30:21.720
Dog, and we'll talk about that. That's fine, it's great.

575
00:30:22.680 --> 00:30:24.759
But I do think there needs to be a moment

576
00:30:24.839 --> 00:30:28.920
in time, and your moment might be longer or shorter

577
00:30:28.960 --> 00:30:32.839
than others. Some moments might be six months, other moments

578
00:30:32.920 --> 00:30:36.000
could be three. Others could be years, others could be weeks.

579
00:30:36.400 --> 00:30:39.559
It's up to you, but I think there has to

580
00:30:39.599 --> 00:30:45.480
be some processing and respect of emotions for yourself and

581
00:30:45.640 --> 00:30:51.559
for in my case, buddy, insert the name of your

582
00:30:51.599 --> 00:30:54.720
dog here. And I hope that this has helped, because

583
00:30:54.720 --> 00:30:57.920
in our next podcast, I want to talk about leaving

584
00:30:57.960 --> 00:31:02.599
that as you're walking out with the belongings of your dog,

585
00:31:03.799 --> 00:31:08.200
where are you now? If you haven't already, please check

586
00:31:08.200 --> 00:31:10.400
out my YouTube Channe. I'll just go to life coach

587
00:31:10.480 --> 00:31:14.720
Ashley Burgess. Also the website. If you'd like to get

588
00:31:14.720 --> 00:31:19.400
some coaching or counseling, go to Ashley B E R

589
00:31:19.519 --> 00:31:21.559
g ees dot com.

590
00:31:22.480 --> 00:31:25.359
I'd love to work with you in the meantime.

591
00:31:25.400 --> 00:31:27.160
If you're going through this journey, or you've been on

592
00:31:27.200 --> 00:31:29.440
this journey, or this is recent or has happened in

593
00:31:29.480 --> 00:31:32.400
the past, I commend you for all the effort that

594
00:31:32.440 --> 00:31:35.519
you've put in and taken care of your dog slash

595
00:31:35.640 --> 00:31:38.920
child and giving them the best life that you could.

596
00:31:40.119 --> 00:31:44.440
That's all that matters. We'll talk more in Part two.

597
00:31:46.279 --> 00:31:48.759
Don't forget to live your true life. And you've been

598
00:31:48.799 --> 00:31:51.359
listening to the Ashley Burgess podcast