WEBVTT
1
00:00:01.720 --> 00:00:04.240
You're in a good place now you are listening to
2
00:00:04.320 --> 00:00:09.720
Perspectives with Ashley Burgess. Hi, and welcome back live to
3
00:00:09.759 --> 00:00:13.400
the Ashley Burgess Podcast. I was thinking the other day
4
00:00:13.400 --> 00:00:17.600
about certain questions about relationships, and I have some questions
5
00:00:17.600 --> 00:00:20.719
for you. Do you feel like you're seeing your relationship
6
00:00:20.839 --> 00:00:25.120
clearly or your relationships clearly? Are you seeing the duty
7
00:00:25.839 --> 00:00:30.920
that you have in these relationships clearly? Are you taking
8
00:00:30.960 --> 00:00:36.039
on more than you need to in your relationships? Are
9
00:00:36.079 --> 00:00:41.600
you codependent with somebody in a relationship, or are you
10
00:00:41.679 --> 00:00:47.039
more self centered in a relationship. I've found that there's
11
00:00:47.119 --> 00:00:51.280
only a few things that can safeguard us from the
12
00:00:51.399 --> 00:00:55.359
programming that we got when we were young growing up
13
00:00:55.399 --> 00:00:57.719
in the family dynamic. As many of you know, you
14
00:00:57.759 --> 00:01:01.159
were taught certain things by watching mom and dad. Maybe
15
00:01:01.240 --> 00:01:04.959
Dad was a complete covert narcissist and behind closed doors
16
00:01:05.000 --> 00:01:09.200
a very mean, brutal person, and Mom was the doting codependent,
17
00:01:09.560 --> 00:01:12.599
the doormat that constantly was there for Dad no matter
18
00:01:12.640 --> 00:01:16.319
what happened. And you watched the two Tango in this dance,
19
00:01:16.680 --> 00:01:19.599
and many of you started taking on those codependent tendencies
20
00:01:19.599 --> 00:01:22.239
because you were trying to get Dad's attention wanting him
21
00:01:22.239 --> 00:01:24.400
to love you, wanting him to be there for you,
22
00:01:24.840 --> 00:01:26.719
wanting him to be there at the games, or the
23
00:01:26.719 --> 00:01:30.439
football games, or the basketball games, or the choir concerts,
24
00:01:30.439 --> 00:01:32.879
whatever it was that you were doing. And so you
25
00:01:33.079 --> 00:01:36.799
placated the narcissists, and in that effort in playcating, you
26
00:01:36.799 --> 00:01:38.640
were trying to get the attention and to get that
27
00:01:38.760 --> 00:01:41.519
love and support that you've always wanted from a parent.
28
00:01:41.959 --> 00:01:44.760
Now the tables could have been completely turned. Maybe Dad
29
00:01:44.840 --> 00:01:47.640
was a complete codependent trying to take care of your
30
00:01:47.680 --> 00:01:50.959
mom who was a raging alcoholic as well as a narcissist,
31
00:01:51.079 --> 00:01:54.319
or somebody with borderline personality disorder or a combination of
32
00:01:54.319 --> 00:01:57.799
borderline and narcissism. And so you watched as that played out,
33
00:01:57.840 --> 00:02:01.359
and you became your father becoming more and more codependent,
34
00:02:02.319 --> 00:02:05.519
trying to be there, trying to help and thinking, oh,
35
00:02:05.640 --> 00:02:09.120
my value is not within, My value is outside of me,
36
00:02:09.159 --> 00:02:12.000
My value is to help others, and not seeing the
37
00:02:12.080 --> 00:02:16.280
value that you have within. It's also interesting too some
38
00:02:16.319 --> 00:02:20.800
people not my normal avatar as far as a client,
39
00:02:20.840 --> 00:02:23.759
but some people become very self centered or even acquire
40
00:02:23.800 --> 00:02:27.800
some of those narcissistic tendencies watching mom or Dad and
41
00:02:27.840 --> 00:02:29.960
that can be a defense mechanism, or it can just
42
00:02:30.000 --> 00:02:32.879
be following the leader, and so that can be a
43
00:02:33.000 --> 00:02:38.199
very interesting combination. Usually, however, if you're listening to my
44
00:02:38.280 --> 00:02:41.120
podcast or you're a current client, been a client, or
45
00:02:41.159 --> 00:02:44.719
watch my YouTube videos, usually you are the giver. You're
46
00:02:44.759 --> 00:02:47.960
the person giving and giving and giving to someone that's
47
00:02:48.039 --> 00:02:51.400
constantly taking and taking advantage of you. And you're in
48
00:02:51.439 --> 00:02:54.000
that relationship and you wish so badly to change it
49
00:02:54.080 --> 00:02:55.759
or to get out of it, but you just don't
50
00:02:55.800 --> 00:02:58.560
know how how do I move past this? How do
51
00:02:58.680 --> 00:03:01.680
I get out of this situation? How do I get
52
00:03:01.680 --> 00:03:05.080
out from underneath their foot? How do I move forward?
53
00:03:05.319 --> 00:03:06.800
And I know that many of you, if you're in
54
00:03:06.840 --> 00:03:09.599
a relationship like this right now, you've been in multiple
55
00:03:09.639 --> 00:03:12.479
relationships like this in the past. This is a cycle
56
00:03:12.560 --> 00:03:15.280
pattern of yours that you have dealt with over and
57
00:03:15.360 --> 00:03:19.439
over again after watching mom and Dad in their situation,
58
00:03:19.639 --> 00:03:24.479
and so in today's podcast, I want to actually change that.
59
00:03:24.719 --> 00:03:27.759
I want to put some thought out there as far
60
00:03:27.840 --> 00:03:30.400
as how do we get past that, how do we
61
00:03:30.439 --> 00:03:33.199
move forward? You know, what do we do? And what
62
00:03:33.280 --> 00:03:37.719
are some real actionables? What are some real actionables that
63
00:03:37.759 --> 00:03:40.280
we can actually get rid of or we can change,
64
00:03:40.360 --> 00:03:42.400
or we can do what are some actionables that we
65
00:03:42.439 --> 00:03:46.520
can do right now to make our life better? And
66
00:03:46.560 --> 00:03:48.199
these are things that I want you to think about.
67
00:03:48.319 --> 00:03:50.319
And I was thinking about one of the big, big,
68
00:03:50.360 --> 00:03:53.560
big ones, the major one, and this is the major,
69
00:03:53.680 --> 00:04:00.479
major Anchilada dinner, supreme dinner of all the big kahuna say.
70
00:04:01.560 --> 00:04:06.879
And I believe that that is getting sober, having sobriety,
71
00:04:07.759 --> 00:04:11.919
getting to the point where you're not using alcohol and drugs.
72
00:04:12.840 --> 00:04:16.720
So in order to really see things clearly, we cannot
73
00:04:16.800 --> 00:04:19.839
be under the influence of alcohol or drugs. In order
74
00:04:19.839 --> 00:04:23.399
to see things clearly, we have to have sobriety. We
75
00:04:23.519 --> 00:04:27.079
have to have clarity, right, And I feel that getting
76
00:04:27.240 --> 00:04:31.000
sober is the true key to seeing your relationships with
77
00:04:31.079 --> 00:04:33.959
clarity and understanding. And I know that some of you
78
00:04:34.000 --> 00:04:36.480
are saying, wow, Okay, yeah, it sounds great, and I
79
00:04:36.480 --> 00:04:38.639
think that's a great idea, But how do I get there?
80
00:04:38.680 --> 00:04:42.519
Because my relationship makes me want to drink, or my relationship,
81
00:04:42.600 --> 00:04:44.600
you know, makes me want to smoke weed or whatever
82
00:04:44.639 --> 00:04:49.279
that looks like. And I understand that it's a cycle, right,
83
00:04:49.720 --> 00:04:52.839
It's like you deal with them, you come home, you
84
00:04:53.240 --> 00:04:55.480
don't like being at home. This person is not nice
85
00:04:55.480 --> 00:04:57.680
to you, or they're constantly finding faults in you, or
86
00:04:57.680 --> 00:05:00.680
they're constantly using forever ammunition where they're bringing up stuff
87
00:05:00.720 --> 00:05:02.800
from ten years ago that happened, that wasn't that big
88
00:05:02.800 --> 00:05:05.000
of a deal then, But they're painting the picture of
89
00:05:05.040 --> 00:05:07.800
how horrible you are as a person on a constant basis.
90
00:05:08.399 --> 00:05:11.120
And I understand that. And so you go to the
91
00:05:11.279 --> 00:05:13.720
bottle of wine, or you go to the bottle of scotch,
92
00:05:13.879 --> 00:05:16.959
or you reach for you know, the marijuana or whatever
93
00:05:17.000 --> 00:05:20.680
it is, and I understand that. But see, the drug
94
00:05:20.879 --> 00:05:25.639
or the alcohol is actually what's keeping you in this cycle. Okay,
95
00:05:25.720 --> 00:05:28.000
it's like the band aid that you're putting on. It's
96
00:05:28.040 --> 00:05:31.360
the band aid that you're putting on the wound that
97
00:05:31.519 --> 00:05:35.399
needs to heal without being covered up with a band aid, right.
98
00:05:35.439 --> 00:05:37.160
I mean, this needs to heal, and the only way
99
00:05:37.160 --> 00:05:39.720
to heal it is to actually look at things head on,
100
00:05:40.000 --> 00:05:44.120
honestly when you see the situation honestly head on. And
101
00:05:44.160 --> 00:05:47.439
what I mean by that is you know sands, alcohol,
102
00:05:47.600 --> 00:05:49.879
sands drugs, and I know that this is not like
103
00:05:49.959 --> 00:05:52.920
an immediate for many of you. You might say, wow, Okay,
104
00:05:52.920 --> 00:05:55.360
I'm just gonna stop drinking all together after all the
105
00:05:55.439 --> 00:05:57.759
years of years of drinking the cope, or I'm gonna
106
00:05:57.759 --> 00:05:59.879
stop smoking weed, or I'm gonna stop doing cocaine or
107
00:06:00.199 --> 00:06:01.680
stop doing this or that with all because of all
108
00:06:01.680 --> 00:06:04.600
the years of trying to cope. Okay, And I understand that,
109
00:06:04.920 --> 00:06:06.800
but we have to get to a point of tie,
110
00:06:06.839 --> 00:06:12.279
trading down and eventually getting sober. I found that. You know, remember,
111
00:06:12.360 --> 00:06:16.240
if you're drinking and you're basically suppressing your feelings, you're
112
00:06:16.319 --> 00:06:19.120
drinking and you know you're getting tipsy or whatever, and
113
00:06:19.160 --> 00:06:22.279
you're you keep for living the good days, the good times, right,
114
00:06:22.319 --> 00:06:24.959
you keep putting that back into your mind when that's
115
00:06:25.000 --> 00:06:26.639
the least that you need in your You don't want
116
00:06:26.639 --> 00:06:28.360
that in your mind. You don't need that in your mind.
117
00:06:28.399 --> 00:06:31.399
You don't need that distraction. When you're looking at toxicity
118
00:06:31.439 --> 00:06:33.720
in your life. You need to be like, hey, okay,
119
00:06:34.000 --> 00:06:36.439
where do I want to be at with clarity? What
120
00:06:36.560 --> 00:06:38.680
do I want to get in my life? What kind
121
00:06:38.720 --> 00:06:41.720
of person do I actually want around me? What kind
122
00:06:41.759 --> 00:06:45.560
of people do I want around me? And that's a
123
00:06:45.639 --> 00:06:49.920
really interesting question, what kind of people do I want
124
00:06:49.920 --> 00:06:53.199
around me? Because I think that that's so important. What
125
00:06:53.319 --> 00:06:55.680
kind of person do I want in a relationship? What
126
00:06:55.800 --> 00:06:57.560
kind of person do I want to see every day
127
00:06:57.600 --> 00:07:00.519
when I get home? And I'm not talking about I'm
128
00:07:00.519 --> 00:07:06.240
talking about personality, values, intentions, Right, what do you want?
129
00:07:06.360 --> 00:07:09.199
And then also what do you want within yourself? Because
130
00:07:09.279 --> 00:07:12.600
I know that you know, if you're suppressing your feelings,
131
00:07:13.560 --> 00:07:16.560
whether it's alcohol, drugs, what have you, you know, or
132
00:07:16.600 --> 00:07:20.240
getting dopamine highs trying to like overcome the negativity in
133
00:07:20.279 --> 00:07:23.399
your life, this isn't going to help you. And so
134
00:07:23.519 --> 00:07:26.480
what I'm asking you to do is really look at
135
00:07:26.519 --> 00:07:29.759
whatever it is that you're doing and realize this is
136
00:07:29.879 --> 00:07:34.720
actual crutch. It's an actual crutch designed to keep you
137
00:07:35.199 --> 00:07:39.720
in the matrix of the toxicity in your life. It's
138
00:07:39.759 --> 00:07:43.879
not helping you. If anything, it's actually helping you to
139
00:07:44.000 --> 00:07:47.800
stay stuck, to stay in a negative situation, and to
140
00:07:47.920 --> 00:07:54.480
keep allowing toxicity and people with toxic intentions in your life. Okay,
141
00:07:55.680 --> 00:07:57.759
And I really want you to think about that, because
142
00:07:58.959 --> 00:08:01.120
if you're drinking a lot, and you know what I'm saying,
143
00:08:01.120 --> 00:08:03.639
before you get home, maybe you're at work and you're
144
00:08:03.680 --> 00:08:07.920
able to see and process what's really happening. In your life,
145
00:08:08.399 --> 00:08:12.120
if your marriage is bringing you pain and suffering, if
146
00:08:12.120 --> 00:08:14.800
you're in a marriage or in a relationship or living
147
00:08:14.839 --> 00:08:19.360
with somebody that's a covert narcissist, a malignant narcissist, somebody
148
00:08:19.360 --> 00:08:23.959
with sociopathic tendencies, somebody with extreme borderline personality disorder connected
149
00:08:24.000 --> 00:08:26.639
with narcissism. I mean, if you're dealing with that on
150
00:08:26.680 --> 00:08:29.480
a daily basis, and you're coming from a very codependent
151
00:08:29.600 --> 00:08:33.279
or dependent stance, the alcohol and the drugs are the
152
00:08:33.320 --> 00:08:37.080
thing that's holding you there. If you can start tight
153
00:08:37.159 --> 00:08:39.600
trading down and also realizing and I think this is
154
00:08:39.600 --> 00:08:43.159
a big caveat the reason why you're drinking or doing
155
00:08:43.200 --> 00:08:46.080
so many drugs, besides the fact that you've become somewhat
156
00:08:46.080 --> 00:08:50.840
addicted to it, is also because you're trying to basically
157
00:08:50.960 --> 00:08:53.720
keep yourself in this situation. You're trying not to rock
158
00:08:53.759 --> 00:08:55.879
the boat, even though everything that you need to do
159
00:08:56.000 --> 00:08:58.679
is to rock the boat. Everything that you need to
160
00:08:58.679 --> 00:09:02.480
do is to see things clearly, to see things with clarity. Right.
161
00:09:02.960 --> 00:09:06.440
The more that you are aware, the more you can
162
00:09:06.480 --> 00:09:09.600
see their intentions, the more you can stop lying to
163
00:09:09.679 --> 00:09:13.320
yourself and you will not continue to fall for future
164
00:09:13.360 --> 00:09:16.080
faking One of the things that I've realized here with
165
00:09:16.200 --> 00:09:21.240
many people, especially when they're codependent, is somebody will sell
166
00:09:21.279 --> 00:09:25.559
them a bill of goods. Somebody has will will say hey, uh,
167
00:09:25.679 --> 00:09:27.679
you know, this is what I'm gonna be, this is
168
00:09:27.720 --> 00:09:30.320
who I am, this is what I want whatever, and
169
00:09:30.360 --> 00:09:32.879
I'm gonna do all this, and the codependent or the
170
00:09:32.919 --> 00:09:37.200
dependent goes, you know what, you know, this is amazing. Okay,
171
00:09:37.200 --> 00:09:39.159
this person's gonna do all these things. But that person
172
00:09:39.279 --> 00:09:41.279
never steps up to the plate to do anything. And
173
00:09:41.360 --> 00:09:44.679
so as the years go by and nothing's coming to fruition,
174
00:09:45.039 --> 00:09:47.600
and you're still holding onto that future faking you're still
175
00:09:47.639 --> 00:09:50.320
holding onto that future that's possible, that this person is
176
00:09:50.360 --> 00:09:53.639
painted for you, and it's never coming to fruition, and
177
00:09:53.679 --> 00:09:55.759
you keep thinking, well, maybe one day, maybe one day,
178
00:09:55.799 --> 00:09:58.639
you take another glass of wine, you smoke another you know,
179
00:09:59.039 --> 00:10:01.240
you know, you smoke another bowl of weed, you take
180
00:10:01.240 --> 00:10:03.559
another hit of cocaine, whatever it is, and you go, Okay,
181
00:10:03.600 --> 00:10:05.600
well you know what it's gonna happen, and you go
182
00:10:05.720 --> 00:10:07.799
back into that fairy tale, You go back into the
183
00:10:07.799 --> 00:10:11.200
beginning of that relationship, back into those great days, back
184
00:10:11.200 --> 00:10:14.200
into the salad days, as they say, back into the
185
00:10:14.240 --> 00:10:17.399
love bombing days, right, because you start reliving that and
186
00:10:17.440 --> 00:10:20.919
you start going back into that, believing the future, faking
187
00:10:21.320 --> 00:10:24.879
holding onto the false hope, right, because the alcohol and
188
00:10:24.919 --> 00:10:28.440
the drugs make us hold onto the false hope because
189
00:10:28.480 --> 00:10:32.200
they're all lies. Drugs and alcohol are all lies, because
190
00:10:32.240 --> 00:10:34.919
they don't keep you feeling that way. Right. If you
191
00:10:35.000 --> 00:10:38.759
drink too much alcohol, you wake up with extreme anxiety, right,
192
00:10:38.879 --> 00:10:42.679
extreme anxiety, horrible anxiety, and you're like, oh my god,
193
00:10:42.720 --> 00:10:45.039
I can't believe this. I feel so horrible, I can't
194
00:10:45.080 --> 00:10:47.919
think straight. You go through the entire workday just trying
195
00:10:47.919 --> 00:10:50.600
to get it together, right, just trying to get it together.
196
00:10:50.919 --> 00:10:53.399
And it's not until like the late afternoon where you're
197
00:10:53.440 --> 00:10:57.200
finally getting it together, you're finally seeing through all this stuff.
198
00:10:57.320 --> 00:10:59.320
And then you go back home and you deal with stuff,
199
00:10:59.320 --> 00:11:01.720
and you start and again, right, you over drink and
200
00:11:01.720 --> 00:11:03.600
you go through the anxiety and you're just trying to
201
00:11:03.679 --> 00:11:07.000
clear your head. You're just dealing with brain fog all
202
00:11:07.200 --> 00:11:11.039
day long. Now, if it's drugs, right, if it's cocaine,
203
00:11:11.039 --> 00:11:13.480
you're chasing that high if I just take you know,
204
00:11:13.559 --> 00:11:15.639
if I just do another bump of cocaine, another line
205
00:11:15.639 --> 00:11:18.240
of cocaine. You know, maybe this will get better. Maybe
206
00:11:18.240 --> 00:11:20.600
I can just calm myself a little bit more dopamine.
207
00:11:20.840 --> 00:11:22.720
Maybe more dopamine will help me, because then I don't
208
00:11:22.759 --> 00:11:25.120
have to deal with this. Or if I'm smoking weed,
209
00:11:25.360 --> 00:11:27.200
how much weed do you have to smoke to let
210
00:11:27.240 --> 00:11:30.720
this go? This is insanity, right, And I need you
211
00:11:30.759 --> 00:11:35.200
to start seeing the truth because what's happened here is
212
00:11:35.240 --> 00:11:38.720
instead of speaking your truth, instead of standing up for yourself,
213
00:11:38.759 --> 00:11:41.159
instead of calling this person out for who they are,
214
00:11:41.600 --> 00:11:43.720
instead of saying, hey, this is who you are, this
215
00:11:43.799 --> 00:11:46.840
is what you're doing, I have accepted this reality. I'm
216
00:11:46.840 --> 00:11:49.159
not going to accept this anymore. This is no longer
217
00:11:49.159 --> 00:11:51.679
part of my protocol. I don't need you and I
218
00:11:51.679 --> 00:11:54.320
don't need your lies. And the thing about it is
219
00:11:54.320 --> 00:11:57.080
is that I realize that most people that are drinking themselves,
220
00:11:57.159 --> 00:12:00.360
you know, to death, basically doing drugs, doing these things.
221
00:12:00.399 --> 00:12:03.720
You're in a relationship where you're super unhappy and you're
222
00:12:03.840 --> 00:12:06.840
just trying to medicate yourself. You're just trying to calm
223
00:12:06.879 --> 00:12:09.480
yourself down. And I want to give you a picture
224
00:12:09.519 --> 00:12:11.360
of it, you know, like you remember on Golden Girls,
225
00:12:11.360 --> 00:12:14.919
where you know she was like picture this nineteen thirty five.
226
00:12:15.080 --> 00:12:16.840
You know, Okay, I want you to picture this. If
227
00:12:16.879 --> 00:12:19.799
you're in a relationship right now and you're three, four
228
00:12:19.879 --> 00:12:22.639
or five, six, ten years in, it's not going to
229
00:12:22.720 --> 00:12:26.120
get any better if you're self medicating. I have clients
230
00:12:26.159 --> 00:12:28.279
that have come to me that have been doing this
231
00:12:28.320 --> 00:12:31.600
for thirty five years, and we've made massive changes in
232
00:12:31.639 --> 00:12:34.519
their life. But guess what, we had to pull them
233
00:12:34.600 --> 00:12:37.840
out of the bottle, pull them out of the situation
234
00:12:37.960 --> 00:12:40.039
because the only thing that they were doing now was
235
00:12:40.120 --> 00:12:43.759
complete self medicating in order to deal with the tyrant
236
00:12:44.159 --> 00:12:47.759
that was in their home. Okay, And it became you
237
00:12:47.840 --> 00:12:50.799
become this doormat, right You become this dormat for this
238
00:12:50.840 --> 00:12:55.840
person's toxicity, for their bs, for their lives, for everything.
239
00:12:55.919 --> 00:12:58.399
And when you start getting sober. And I'm not saying
240
00:12:58.440 --> 00:13:00.759
you have to cut out everything right now, I'm saying, hey,
241
00:13:01.480 --> 00:13:03.840
if you're drinking a bottle of wine, many of you
242
00:13:03.919 --> 00:13:05.759
might be two or three. If you're drinking two bottles
243
00:13:05.799 --> 00:13:08.080
of wine, you need to cut down a one, okay,