Beware of the Arrogant Know It All, No Matter What Their Title [Ep.767]

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You're in a good place now.
You are listening to Perspectives with Ashley Burgess.

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Welcome back live to Literature Life Perspectives, and I'm your host Ashley Burgess.

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On today's show, I want to
talk about a section of society,

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a group of society that tends to
gravitate to the types of people that I

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consider as know it alls, like
they know everything, and they act like

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they know everything. They believe they
know everything, but as we know,

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most know it alls do not know
hardly anything. They might know some,

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but they act like they know everything. And those same type of people that

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gravitate to that know it all behavior
also have a tendency of gravitating to people

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that are narcissistic in nature, very
narcissistic as far as it's their way,

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the highway. They're very centered in
themselves and anytime that you bring up a

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thought or something outside of their thinking
or outside of their thoughts or choosing,

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they squash it. And I find
that very interesting. And I find that

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there is a segment of our society
and I think that I think it's more

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women than men, but I actually
think that it actually crosses over to everybody.

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It affects everyone, And it depends
on how you were raised and what

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dynamic you were raised in. Were
you raised around people that were very open

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minded. Were you raised around people
that really shared ideas and listen to your

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ideas. Were you raised around a
mother or father that wanted to hear what

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you had to say. Were you
raised around a mother or father that didn't

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know everything and didn't try to act
like they knew everything, or quite the

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opposite. Were you raised around somebody
that was very in your face, very

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in charge. The world revolved around
them. What they said was gospel,

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They said it with such you know, directness and belief that it was real

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that you bought into it. And
it's interesting because I find that when we

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grow up around these types of people, we have a tendency of surrounding ourselves

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with people like this. And I
know that many of you that are listening

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to this podcast right now on the
radio show, you might have a parent,

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a mother, or a father who
tends to connect with that type of

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behavior. They seem to connect with
that behavior with people, so they choose

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the financial advisor who is completely out
of line and tells them what to do

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and doesn't listen to them. One
bit. They choose the doctors that tell

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them what to do, but don't
ask for any feedback. You know,

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when they give an idea, you
know it's shut down because it's not the

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doctor's idea. You know. They
find friends or people around them that have

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these you know, overarching personalities,
but honestly, some of them are just

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full of shit, right, And
so when we go through this process,

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it's interesting, especially when we have
our aging parents, where we're dealing with

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that sort of thing, and you
know, I don't like to talk about

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age. It's not something that I
think is always appropriate, but I think

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sometimes it's hard when you know that
there's things coming down the path that you're

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going to have to deal with that
only you will deal with. For this

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person, it can be very irritating
and insulting when you realize that this person

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has surrounded themselves with a care team
or an organization, that all they're about

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is being in charge, and it's
not about listening to other people's opinions or

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thought. It's about squashing those opinions
and thought only for the mere reason of

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that it wasn't their thought process,
it wasn't their choosing, it wasn't what

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they wanted to do. And so
today's podcast our radio show, and some

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of you might hear it on the
radios, some of you might hear it

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on Apple Podcasts or speaker or Spotify. However you find it, you found

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it. Just glad you're here.
Please share it with family and friends.

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And also, if you haven't already, I have a YouTube channel. Check

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that out too if you want to
learn more about, you know, having

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healthier relationships, or being able to
identify unhealthy relationships, or dealing with that

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narcissist, or understanding how to find
or how to identify that narcissist that you

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work with, those types of things. And so you can go to YouTube

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and you can put in Ashley b
er Gees Ashley Burgess or put in Ashley

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b e er Ges Life Coach Ashley
Burgess and you'll find my channel, Life

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Coach Ashley Burgess. So we have
lots of videos up every week, more

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than a thousand videos housed on YouTube
right now, and join us because we

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have a great community of subscribers as
well. So, you know, let's

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get back to this concept of what
we're talking about here. I find it

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interesting because you know, from my
own personal life and my own life.

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You know, I'm the only child, and I know that some of you

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listening are the only child. Some
of you listening are not the only child,

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but you might be the only child
that's taking care of your family right

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because the other ones might have just
checked out, maybe they didn't get along,

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maybe they don't have time. Whatever, the fact is, it is

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what it is. And you know
what that's like is because you know that

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there's stress coming around, you know
that there's things that have to get done.

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You know that the buck is gonna
stop with you, okay. And

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so this show is dedicated to anybody
who's an only child, or is the

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child, the grown child, the
grown ass woman or man that's gonna end

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up taking care of their mom,
their father or both as they're getting older.

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And I find it interesting because I
feel like our generation, my generation,

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and even younger generation and maybe just
a little older generation. I feel

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like we've gotten to the point where
we're doing a lot of dutil on our

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own. We're doing a lot of
thoughtfulness on our own. Like I think

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about things, I educate myself,
I research stuff I really look to see

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and buddy, here's in the studio. Here, no acoustics can stop that

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sound for sure. With his little
collar. He loves to hang out here.

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He's here twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. Basically

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he is the studio mascot, so
he is here. But you know,

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it's interesting because we do this research, and I do. I research all

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kinds of vitamins and minerals and things
like that that makes sense, right,

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things that make sense for longevity,
things that make sense for health, things

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that make all this sense. And
there's thousands in thousands, in thousands of

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laboratory experiments and documentation and all this
type of stuff on the effects of all

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these things. It's not like it's
just some cock eyed idea out of the

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blue that I formulate and believe in. You know, you do your due

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diligence. You look at things and
you see what makes sense or what might

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work for you, and what might
make your life better or make you healthier.

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And all these things are very interesting. And I find that the more

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and more research I do, the
more and more information I get, and

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the information that I get is very
helpful because it can not only change your

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life, but I've actually done it, and I've done it with myself I've

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done it with family members, friends, and clients, where we can take

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a health situation at one point in
time and completely augment it, transform it,

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and move it into something that is
very positive and healthy. And it's

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not about something that has a bunch
of side effects. You know, you

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know you're not going to have all
these issues, but it's something that's very

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natural that can actually work. No, it's not all the time, but

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if you can find that, that's
pretty cool. And so, you know,

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the entire idea of this show came
to me because you know, honestly

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today, early this morning, my
mom was going in to have her annual

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done and she I guess she goes
in twice a year actually, so it's

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a semi annual you know, evaluation, you know, by a doctor that

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basically sees you, you know,
a couple of times a year, maybe

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a couple more times a year,
maybe four times a year, someone sees

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you. And that's enough, you
know, but it's not a lot,

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right, I mean, think about
it. If you was a if you

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were a daughter or a son to
somebody, and all you saw your parent

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was four times a year for a
very short period of time, you probably

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wouldn't have a good grasp of what
that person is dealing with, where they

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are in their mental faculties, where
they are in their emotional situation, and

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how they're really feeling. Because for
a few minutes a day, let's say,

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for four days out of the year, you can you can pre put

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on whatever you want to put on, you can put on any face,

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you can go through anything. And
that's why consistency is a big thing.

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It's just like if you had a
friend and you only saw that friend four

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times a year and for maybe thirty
minutes at a time. Now that's it's

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a very limited amount of time.
It's a very short amount of time,

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and what you're gonna learn is very
limited depending on what that person wants to

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share with you or not right.
So all these things are very important to

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understand because you know, when you
see somebody day in and day out,

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and you are observant and not completely
self centered, you are able to identify

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things that need to be discussed.
You're able to identify things that need to

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come to fruition. You identify things
where you say, okay, I see

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that this is an issue. It's
like if you see somebody limping every time

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you see them. You understand that
there's something wrong. Now let's figure out

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what can we get to the bottom
of this. How do we know what's

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happening? What you know, what
has caused this? And move forward with

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that. You're not just gonna see
the limp and just like keep going right,

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You're gonna say, hey, what
happened? Did you fall something happened,

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did you pull something? You're gonna
ask specific questions. Now, some

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things are harder to see because they
might not be physical on the outside,

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right, It's things that we don't
see necessary, right, So like if

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somebody had fallen but they had internal
bleeding, you're probably not gonna see that.

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You might see a bruise, but
you're not gonna see internal right,

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that somebody is having, you know, issues that we can't really see on

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the outside. It might be harder
to see, or harder to diagnose,

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or harder to understand. And so
sometimes it takes a person that's in the

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inside, right, somebody that's around
all the time to be able to see

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those things and then help give the
eyes on you know, the the the

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eye and the sky and and help
that person, you know, to maybe

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see some things that they need to
work on or see some directions to really

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help them. And so my mom
has been dealing with some nerve issues,

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you know, with her feet and
what have you, and and she's having

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some pain and there's times where her
feet go numb, and they don't think

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it's neuropathy, but but you know, there's and so that's you know,

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that's one they don't feel like it
is that the specialist. But you know,

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I started doing a lot of research
on things that you can take.

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And I'm not gonna sit there and
prescribe or give it in eye ideas or

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prescriptions on the podcast, but there's
some things that you can do some research.

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And if you're interested in discussing this
kind of stuff with me, you

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know, you can definitely go to
my website. You can contact me.

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Go to Ashley Burgess dot com,
Ashley B. E. R. G

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Ees dot com. You can click
on that contact page. If you want

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to make an appointment, you can
go to Ashley Burgers dot com go to

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coaching sessions. You can just set
up appointment right there directly either way either

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way. But I've I've figured out
a lot of things and I've done a

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lot of research, and you know, I've had, you know, I've

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really had some people around me too
that you know that are you know,

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medical doctors that you know, say
hey, yeah, you know, you're

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right. I've I've I've really I've
really researched that to you myself, and

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and I agree with you. And
so I came up with an idea and

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something that's good and something that you
can actually take, that's tangible, that

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could actually help my mother that has
been proven to regrow nerve tissue at least

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stop uh, continuing nerve damage,
and as well, I was doing some

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other things as well, so as
well as helping with mental capability right,

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as well as helping with that brains
issue, as well as just feeling better

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in general, maybe having some more
energy, feeling more awake and aware.

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Okay, So these are very important
things that I think are important even in

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my own life, you know,
much less her life. So I think

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it's very important. So today,
early this morning, I called my mom

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while she was in a doctor's appointment. We had talked about that, so

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it's not like I did it out
of the blue, and I was going

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to share with her physician, just
you know, an idea that I had

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and something to consider, and it
didn't happen to happen then, but I

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just wanted him to consider it,
and I said, you know, hey,

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I you know I'd love you to
consider this. And I brought up

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the supplement and explain why, you
know, people take it, and he

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basically just told me that it was
snake oil and that he would not proscribe,

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he wouldn't have anything to do with
it, and that if I wanted

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to talk my mother into it on
her own, then so be it,

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but he has no involvement and then
basically told me to get off the phone

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and that he has no time for
this. And you know that just really

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really really really really really rubbed me
the wrong way. And I know that

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many of you are taking care of
your parents, so you know that you

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will be taking care of your parents. And if you've ever dealt with something

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like this, you know what I'm
thinking right now. You know how I'm

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feeling right now, because literally,
you've done the research, you're trying to

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help them in this person shutting you
down. And so when I return and

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be talking more about this, more
about this personality and what can we do

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to overcome some of this? What
can we do to get past this and

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move on and help our parents in
the process, but also keep them healthy

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and have them help and start listening
to some of the things that we come

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up with. Stay tuned Libatry Life
Perspectives with your host me, Ashley Burgess,

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will be back in pay back,
this time in two shakes. Turn

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it up and jump in the deep
end on Perspectives. Now here's Ashley.

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Welcome back live to Liberty Life Perspectives
and I'm your host, Ashley Burgess.

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Right before the break, I was
talking about what happened. I was on

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the phone during my mom's doctor's appointment
earlier this morning, and I was offering

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some thoughts on a very healthy,
very easy going supplement with very little side

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effects if any, to help my
mom with some of the health issues that

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she's having. And instead of getting
the response that I had hoped to get

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from a physician that seemed to care
about my mom, I presume I got

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the opposite. I got a very
rude response. I got a response in

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a way that was not only rude
and off putting, but there was no

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reason to be that rude. And
then on top of that, I was

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told that it was they believe it
was snake oil, and it's something that

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people have been taking forever. It's
something that people take quite a bit of,

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and it's something that a lot of
people have a lot of good effects

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from. So it's not just something
I've made up. It's something that's been

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around for a very long long time. And I was really insulted. Quite

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honestly, I really, really really
was insulted, but not only insulted,

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it angered me because you don't care
enough about just another person's idea or opinion

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of someone that's going to be someone's
caregiver at some point in time. And

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the fact that I care enough to
even have that call in the middle of

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my workday means a lot. And
the fact that I was calling to try

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to help my mother, and my
mom doesn't take my advice all the time,

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because you know, like I was
saying earlier, there's a large segment

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of society where they take advice from
people that are know it alls. They

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take advice from people that are very
self centered, and they take advice from

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people that they think are very hard
hitting. And so if you're kind of

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easy going, you can present all
the knowledge you have, but it's not

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coming off that same powerful, bam, bam, bam. You will listen

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to everything I say kind of way, and that's just not the way I

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operate because I don't agree with that
type of behavior. I also am not

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self centered, and I also don't
know everything, Okay, just don't.

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Nobody does, and I don't try
to act like I do. But it's

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hard when you're trying to compete with
these people with various family members and friends

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to try to help them, but
they're so used to this type of behavior,

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they're so used to that type of
a person and getting information from them

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that they don't even understand getting information
from someone that's solid, but also somebody

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that has learned and is willing to
say if they've made mistakes, you know,

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just willing to say, hey,
this will the research I've done.

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Why don't you do some of this
research and see if this is something that

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makes sense to you instead of this
will happen, this will be the way

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it is. And it was very
off putting, and I'm sure that some

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of you out there are listening to
this because and you've with this where you're

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trying to help your mother, you're
trying to help your father, but you

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seem to come to these crossroads with
these people, and you know, it's

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hard because the thing that bogged me
is when I got off the phone is

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that you don't have to deal with
her at twenty four to seven. You

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don't have to be there for her. Once this appointment is over. You

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know, you're basically done and you
only see somebody for thirty minutes, and

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out of that thirty minutes, that's
the information you get. And I know

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that, y'all. I know that
you out there sit They're going, Yeah,

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I'm in the same boat. I'm
worried or I'm trying to be proactive.

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But what do I do? How
do I get them to see what

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I'm going through? How do I
get them to understand what I see?

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And how do I get some help
in this world when it comes to that.

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And then also on the other side, I'd finally gotten my mother to

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take this suggestion. It only took
a few times because you know what,

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the evidence is real, But within
a moment, this person torpedoes a possible

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positive solution to a painful problem that
she has. I can't even explain how

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disappointed I am because there are multiple
things that could have been said. One

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could have been like, hey,
you know, that's an idea. Let

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me do some research on that and
get back with you. It didn't have

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to be an ultimate yeah, for
sure, but the fact that it was

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shot down completely by a complete know
it all really really upset me, because

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only a know it all will not
actually listen to the facts. Only a

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know it all won't sit back and
say, hey, you know what,

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I haven't thought about that. It
might not be on the it might not

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have been on the forefront of my
brain, but that might be something.

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Let me get back with you.
Okay, let me get back with you.

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I mean, that's an educated consideration. And I just couldn't believe that

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somebody did that. So stay tuned, we're gonna be talking about more of

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than In just a second, Live
your True Life Perspectives with me, your

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host Ashley Burgers will be back in. I'll be back this time and two

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shakes. This is Jake Busey and
you're listening to Perspectives with Ashley Burgess.

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Welcome back Live to Liberty Life Perspectives, and I'm your host Ashley Burgess.

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On today's show, we're talking about
these types of people, these these types

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of folks that a lot of us
either have to deal with or we've stopped

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dealing with, or maybe our family
members, our mother or father is dealing

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with, and it can be overwhelming
because it's at the situation I've been giving

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the example of, you know,
the people that my mom tend to listen

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to, and those people tend to
have that same dynamic, that same very

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self centered, very new at all, very narcissistic in nature, and they

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have that persona okay, and she
has a tendency of listening to that persona

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because it works for her, right, because she's used to that from growing

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up. And I know that many
of you understand that maybe you fall into

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that category and you're working to overcome
that. You know, we've fallen into

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that, maybe that codependency category of
falling into that category where we've been kind

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of given that over and over again
in our lifetime, and so we're used

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to that type of behavior or pattern
of you know, of behavior, and

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so we get used to it.
Now, whether it's healthy, that's a

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totally different story, right, but
we're used to that pattern of behavior,

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and so we're used to listening to
those types of people that may not know

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anything, but they actually claim that
they know everything, and it's disturbing.

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And I've been on Facebook recently and
on on social media with a lot of

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people talking about how it can be
really hard to get somebody that you know,

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to take to to listen, to
take account when you're not presenting it

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in that type of way, okay, and so when you're not presenting it

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in a way that they're used to
as far as that overarching, self centered

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I know everything, this is,
this, is this, You will listen

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to me When you're presenting that in
a more educated, tactful way. Sometimes

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you get not only blowback, but
sometimes you don't even get listened to.

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And that's what I find is irritating
in today's world is that I find,

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you know, it's like you can
be the most kind person, but that

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most kind person can be completely walked
all over. And you know, that's

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something that I had to learn a
while back, is that people see kindness

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as a flaw. And I think
that that's wrong. And you know,

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when people think that kindness is a
flaw, and it gets it irritating because

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sometimes when people see you as a
very kind person, they think that they

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can do anything they want to.
And I'm not saying we have to grow

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a pair, but we have to
be aware of some of the things that

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people consider when they think that kindness
is weakness. And that's the sad thing

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is that I feel like when we're
trying to help family members and friends that

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are used to that type of behavior, they're used to that type of behavior.

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When we're around or we're you know, sharing an idea or a thought

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or a consideration that can be helpful
for them, we might get overlooked because

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we're the person that's not screaming.
We're the person that's not demanding. We're

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the person that's not telling them what
they're going to do, okay. And

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that's the thing is that I know
that many of you out there like,

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yeah, I'm the one that has
to take care of this I'm going to

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be the one that has to take
care of this person in the end,

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and nobody's helping you. And that's
what I find is interesting is that I

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also find too that the better care
we have. And this is something that

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is very near and dear to my
heart and something that's very important to me

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and something that you know, every
client that's ever worked with me can can

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vouch for this is the fact that
I do care and I listen and there's

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no judgment. If somebody comes in
with something, there's no judgment. I

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mean, why would you judge something
when somebody's telling you something on any level,

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because all that judgment does is it
takes away from the possibilities of the

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truth. The judgment takes away from
solution. The judgments get in the way

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of finding solution. Okay, and
yeah, sometimes we can all misinterpret things,

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right. Misinterpretation can happen at any
time, But it's getting the clarity

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to go forward from that miscommunication.
And you know that's the thing is that

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today that call, that call had
no there was no piece of that call

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on that other side of the conversation
that was at all pleasant, thoughtful,

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caring, or judgment free. Everything
was in that there was There was literally

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I'm going to tell you what to
do. I am going to force us

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down your throat too. I don't
care. I don't have time for you.

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And three on top of that,
I don't I'm not going to listen

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to anything you have to say,
even if it's the most important thing,

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even if you are a Nobel Peace
Prize winner, I'm still not going to

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listen to what you have to say, because what you have to say is

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way beneath what I know. And
that's the condescending crap that many of us

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00:24:06.680 --> 00:24:08.480
are dealing with on our day to
day basis. And I feel that it's

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like, you know, we have
to call this out, We have to

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begin to call this out because the
anger and the resentment that comes from that

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can also echo or be moved into
other areas of your life. Right also,

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in this particular situation, you know, I have to sit there and

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remember to isolate that type of anger, you know, not from not toward

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my mother, but towards just the
situation of this person in general. And

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it's hard because when you finally making
movement in the right direction and somebody torpedoes

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the positive movement, that sets things
back so much, and that person,

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because of their ego and because of
their being misguided based on ego, creates

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that reality that we all have to
suffer in, right because because the suffering

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is going to be real, The
suffering will be real because what happens is

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if this person needed that and can't
get that and is not able to have

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that, and they could have used
this, and this could have worked for

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them and it could have changed their
life in some way instead of taking some

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00:25:15.839 --> 00:25:18.079
sort of pharmaceuticalic that's gonna give them
all these side effects that could have been

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very helpful. But because we missed
the boat on that, because I was

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told that my idea was snake oil, right, okay, And it's like,

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it's like, I don't want to
talk about what it is because I

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don't want, you know, I
don't want to be like I don't want

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people to get the idea and then
go out and get it without having the

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knowledge base of what they need.
That's the only reason I'm not talking about

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exactly what I'm talking about here,
because it's I want to protect. And

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if you're interested in hearing about this, then go on and reach out,

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00:25:42.920 --> 00:25:45.440
you know, on Ashley Burgers dot
com, ASHLEYB E. R. G

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00:25:45.559 --> 00:25:49.039
Ees dot com, you know,
click on that contact page, SIMA message,

367
00:25:49.240 --> 00:25:52.240
or go on Facebook find it Ashley
Burgers, you know, sime a

368
00:25:52.279 --> 00:25:56.079
message, you know, or go
to Ashleyburgers dot com and click on that

369
00:25:56.119 --> 00:26:00.759
coaching session and set up an appointment. It's like, but the thing that

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bothers me is the disregard for other
people's thoughts that are very well thought out

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the research that's going into that,
but also the fact that I came to

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you for a reason, not just
because I'm trying to make your life difficult,

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or not just because I want to
hear myself being being talked. Just

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I don't want to just hear myself
talk. I haven't reached out to this

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person. I have never I haven't
been in an appointment with her in ten

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00:26:27.519 --> 00:26:30.279
years. It's not like I'm doing
this all the time. This is the

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00:26:30.319 --> 00:26:33.440
first time in a decade. I
mean I think the first time in a

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00:26:33.480 --> 00:26:37.839
decade actually kind of says something like
this is important. Could you take a

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00:26:37.000 --> 00:26:41.559
take a deep breath and stop thinking
about yourself for one moment and listen to

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what I have to say. For
literally, I was on the call for

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00:26:44.720 --> 00:26:48.680
two minutes and ten seconds, okay, And just so I think that's the

382
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time. I should probably go back
and look to make sure it was two

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minutes, because it might not have
been two minutes. It could have been

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00:26:55.559 --> 00:26:57.240
a lot less than that. Let
me let me look real quick so I

385
00:26:57.240 --> 00:27:00.119
can tell you, oh, it
was two minutes to the dot, two

386
00:27:00.240 --> 00:27:06.200
minutes, two minutes complete, So
there were no seconds, just two solid

387
00:27:06.240 --> 00:27:08.319
minutes on that phone call. So
I was on that call for two minutes.

388
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You haven't seen me in over a
decade, and you're gonna just squash

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00:27:11.319 --> 00:27:15.200
what I have to say like that, And that again just goes back,

390
00:27:15.240 --> 00:27:18.880
it rolls all over you. And
I think for anybody out there that understands,

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00:27:18.920 --> 00:27:22.160
maybe you have maybe you have a
spouse that's been going through health issues,

392
00:27:22.200 --> 00:27:26.200
maybe, and you're dealing with some
of these people that are just so

393
00:27:26.279 --> 00:27:30.599
narcissistic and self involved, it's like
you've got to find another type of care

394
00:27:30.680 --> 00:27:34.640
team. You've got to find other
people that will actually listen to reason,

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that will listen to reason. And
I find it so challenging because just to

396
00:27:44.240 --> 00:27:48.480
get to somebody to listen to reason, that's all we're asking. We're not

397
00:27:48.519 --> 00:27:52.359
asking to you know, we're not
talking about Disneyland, we're not talking about

398
00:27:52.480 --> 00:27:56.200
unicorns, we're not talking about any
of this. We're talking about reason.

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And to get somebody to listen to
reason, they've got to be able to

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00:28:00.400 --> 00:28:03.119
step back from their own ego,
step back from their own thoughts in that

401
00:28:03.200 --> 00:28:08.720
moment, and just listen to someone
else's thought for two minutes, and you

402
00:28:08.759 --> 00:28:11.960
know it could have gone so much
differently It could have literally, I mean,

403
00:28:11.960 --> 00:28:12.319
there could have been, hey,
you know what, that's a good

404
00:28:12.359 --> 00:28:15.359
idea. Let me look into it. I'll get back. It didn't have

405
00:28:15.359 --> 00:28:17.200
to be automatic. It could have
been like, you know, hey,

406
00:28:17.240 --> 00:28:19.160
I have done research on that,
and you're right, let's look into that.

407
00:28:19.160 --> 00:28:21.799
That's a good idea. Or it
could be like, hey, you

408
00:28:21.799 --> 00:28:23.599
know there's some other options too that
maybe you haven't thought of that maybe that

409
00:28:23.640 --> 00:28:26.880
would be better for her as well. Whatever. But the whole shutdown,

410
00:28:27.960 --> 00:28:34.359
to me, is a shutdown on
my mother's wellness. It's a shutdown on

411
00:28:34.400 --> 00:28:38.480
the encouragement that I'm trying to give
her. It's a shutdown on her getting

412
00:28:38.480 --> 00:28:47.440
better. It's a shutdown on the
progress. And that's it. And I

413
00:28:47.480 --> 00:28:48.319
know that some of you are feeling
it. I know that some of you

414
00:28:48.359 --> 00:28:51.359
are going through it. I know
that some of you are feeling it.

415
00:28:51.400 --> 00:28:53.640
You are feeling it because you're dealing
with this on a constant basis, maybe

416
00:28:53.759 --> 00:28:57.319
not just with one family member,
maybe multiple family members. You know,

417
00:28:57.359 --> 00:29:02.200
maybe you're having to take over a
lot of and you're realizing that everybody in

418
00:29:02.240 --> 00:29:04.480
your mother's life, or in your
father's life, or in your aunt's life,

419
00:29:04.559 --> 00:29:10.079
or whoever, has been really bullying
them for a long period of time,

420
00:29:10.079 --> 00:29:14.599
and they've just kind of been bullied
into whatever this person wants them to

421
00:29:14.640 --> 00:29:18.599
do, whether it's their financial advisor, whether it's their doctor, whether it's

422
00:29:18.759 --> 00:29:25.559
whoever, their business partner. And
these are the things that are interesting because

423
00:29:26.000 --> 00:29:32.640
the same people that get bullied into
these situations have had kind of a upbringing

424
00:29:32.759 --> 00:29:34.440
a being bullied as well, right
because because we get used to it,

425
00:29:34.880 --> 00:29:37.079
and it doesn't make it. It
doesn't make it. Oh, that's so

426
00:29:37.200 --> 00:29:41.200
sad. Or I mean, it's
not like this is like it can be

427
00:29:41.359 --> 00:29:45.319
changed. We can you know,
we can change this, we can augment

428
00:29:45.400 --> 00:29:48.400
this. You know, I had
a client yesterday we were talking. They

429
00:29:48.400 --> 00:29:51.759
found a new accountant, and they
said, you know, I'm so glad

430
00:29:51.799 --> 00:29:53.440
I found this new accountant, but
I'm scared to tell my old accountant that

431
00:29:53.480 --> 00:29:57.039
I'm done. And I said,
this person has been literally putting you on

432
00:29:57.039 --> 00:30:02.160
the back burner. This person doesn't
have time for you. They bill you

433
00:30:03.240 --> 00:30:06.519
an insane amount of money and they're
not getting things done. And then you're

434
00:30:06.559 --> 00:30:08.720
really scared about telling them that you're
going to end your work with them.

435
00:30:08.720 --> 00:30:12.599
I mean, you're a paying customer. That's crazy. They still haven't finalized

436
00:30:12.640 --> 00:30:15.079
things for you for two years ago
that need to be done, and you're

437
00:30:15.160 --> 00:30:18.359
scared to say, hey, I've
found someone else and see and that's behavior,

438
00:30:18.400 --> 00:30:23.640
that's normal behavior when you've been around
these egotistical, you know, narcissistic

439
00:30:23.720 --> 00:30:27.359
people your whole life, and then
you go out and find people just like

440
00:30:27.480 --> 00:30:33.279
that that you pay to be in
your life. You're paying them to be

441
00:30:33.359 --> 00:30:37.559
in your life. I mean,
and think about that real quick. I

442
00:30:37.559 --> 00:30:40.519
mean, you know, you're paying
someone to be in their life, to

443
00:30:40.599 --> 00:30:42.319
be in your life, to do
something for you, and you're taking crap.

444
00:30:44.839 --> 00:30:49.720
I mean, think about that.
You're paying this doctor, you're paying

445
00:30:49.759 --> 00:30:53.400
your lawyer, your laurier doesn't have
time for you. I can't get to

446
00:30:53.400 --> 00:30:56.319
that case until after the new year. Or hey, yeah, I know

447
00:30:56.359 --> 00:31:00.119
this employment agreement's important to you.
I'm gonna give it two hours because this

448
00:31:00.200 --> 00:31:03.599
isn't this isn't enough money for me. So I'm gonna do a really crappy

449
00:31:03.680 --> 00:31:07.599
job on this deal and you're gonna
end up getting screwed in the end.

450
00:31:07.799 --> 00:31:11.000
But it's okay, okay. So
this is the thing that I feel like

451
00:31:11.000 --> 00:31:12.839
a lot of us are dealing with, whether it's with our family. But

452
00:31:12.880 --> 00:31:18.079
in the end, we're paying people
to do a job or a service and

453
00:31:18.119 --> 00:31:22.920
then you're getting crap back. And
I feel like there's some older folks and

454
00:31:22.119 --> 00:31:25.640
God, and we don't need to
talk about age, but some people that

455
00:31:25.680 --> 00:31:27.720
have been on the planet longer than
we have that seem to fall into that

456
00:31:27.759 --> 00:31:32.440
pattern of accepting that. I even
have younger clients that seem to fall into

457
00:31:32.440 --> 00:31:33.599
the pattern of that as well.
It's not an age thing. I have

458
00:31:33.640 --> 00:31:37.359
clients that are in their thirties that
seem to like they like to be bossed

459
00:31:37.359 --> 00:31:42.039
around, you know, and it's
told what to do, And that's something

460
00:31:42.039 --> 00:31:47.160
that you're not gonna hear in sessions
with me. I'm never gonna tell somebody

461
00:31:47.160 --> 00:31:52.039
what to do because the person has
to make the choice. Because if I

462
00:31:52.119 --> 00:31:53.920
make a choice for somebody or tell
somebody what to do and it doesn't work

463
00:31:53.960 --> 00:31:59.359
out, that's bad. But if
I give you options, hey, look

464
00:31:59.359 --> 00:32:01.880
at this option, What about this
option, what about that option, Let's

465
00:32:01.880 --> 00:32:06.079
look at this. This is a
possibility over here. Have you thought about

466
00:32:06.160 --> 00:32:07.920
this? Most of the time,
people haven't, right, they haven't thought

467
00:32:07.920 --> 00:32:12.079
about it because it's so close to
them. They don't realize that there's all

468
00:32:12.160 --> 00:32:15.079
these options. And that's what I'm
saying, is that we need to encourage

469
00:32:15.079 --> 00:32:21.400
our family members, our friends to
try to see this dynamic that they're living

470
00:32:21.480 --> 00:32:25.720
in where they're picking these people that
you know, know everything for sure,

471
00:32:25.799 --> 00:32:30.200
they act like they know everything,
but they don't really know anything, or

472
00:32:30.279 --> 00:32:36.240
what they know is limited, and
they're making us believe that they know everything.

473
00:32:37.519 --> 00:32:40.400
And you know, it's easy to
con someone into believing something. It's

474
00:32:40.440 --> 00:32:45.920
easy to con someone into believing something, especially if they want to believe it.

475
00:32:45.680 --> 00:32:47.640
You know, if you want to
believe this stuff and you want to

476
00:32:47.680 --> 00:32:52.680
believe that you know all of this
is, you know, you know whatever,

477
00:32:52.039 --> 00:32:57.279
great. Great. But the thing
is is that it's often that same

478
00:32:57.400 --> 00:33:01.160
type of person that has that same
type of mentality, that has that same

479
00:33:01.240 --> 00:33:07.119
type of approach. Okay, and
I find that a lot of people fall

480
00:33:07.200 --> 00:33:10.440
for that, and whether they and
they hire people all around them that have

481
00:33:10.559 --> 00:33:15.319
that same approach, you know,
they get hurt by people around them that

482
00:33:15.440 --> 00:33:19.000
have that same approach. They feel
unhurt by the people around them with that

483
00:33:19.039 --> 00:33:22.400
same approach, but they don't know
anything different, They don't know another way,

484
00:33:22.480 --> 00:33:24.839
and that's and that's what kind of
disturbed me today on that phone call.

485
00:33:25.279 --> 00:33:28.799
That disturbed me, and I don't
use that word often because I think

486
00:33:28.799 --> 00:33:31.839
that word is way overused, but
it disturbed me because this is someone's health,

487
00:33:32.440 --> 00:33:37.960
this is their life, and this
is their family member encouraging them to

488
00:33:38.039 --> 00:33:45.720
take a more natural approach to their
health with lots of research and lots of

489
00:33:45.799 --> 00:33:50.920
thought behind it. And you know, you know, I was even talking

490
00:33:50.920 --> 00:33:52.720
to my own physician and him and
I are friends, and you know,

491
00:33:52.759 --> 00:33:55.799
he used to be the physician to
a president of the United States. This

492
00:33:55.839 --> 00:34:00.240
person's pretty pretty, pretty smart,
pre educated guy, Okay, And we

493
00:34:00.279 --> 00:34:02.599
even talked about that stuff and he
was like, man, that's a great

494
00:34:02.640 --> 00:34:06.599
idea. And I started taking this
and he's like, yeah, I think

495
00:34:06.640 --> 00:34:10.119
I think that's a great idea.
I'd present that to your mom's physician as

496
00:34:10.119 --> 00:34:15.039
well. So it's not like this
was just a crackpot scheme that I came

497
00:34:15.119 --> 00:34:19.079
up with. This was a well
thought out plan. And so that is

498
00:34:19.079 --> 00:34:21.039
the only thing. And I know
that if you're going through this, or

499
00:34:21.079 --> 00:34:24.679
you're experiencing this type of behavior with
people that are caregiving for your family or

500
00:34:24.719 --> 00:34:29.159
in some sort of role, it's
like, we got to figure out how

501
00:34:29.199 --> 00:34:30.559
to get rid of these people.
We got to figure out how to find

502
00:34:30.639 --> 00:34:34.719
better people and how to get them
to agree to get rid of these people,

503
00:34:35.039 --> 00:34:37.480
to help themselves, to help us, to help them. And I'm

504
00:34:37.480 --> 00:34:42.480
gonna have a lot of shows about
this because this is really close to my

505
00:34:42.599 --> 00:34:45.159
heart right now, because we've got
to make some of these changes for them

506
00:34:45.239 --> 00:34:49.920
their sake and for ours. Stay
tuned when we're trying to be talking more

507
00:34:49.920 --> 00:34:52.679
about this. Libr True Life Perspectives
with your host me Ashley Burgers, will

508
00:34:52.679 --> 00:35:09.079
be back in I'll be back this
time in two shakes. Get in here.

509
00:35:10.079 --> 00:35:16.360
You're listening to Perspectives with Ashley Burgess. Welcome back live to Literature Life

510
00:35:16.360 --> 00:35:21.039
Perspectives and I'm your host Ashley Burgess. On today's show, I've been talking

511
00:35:21.039 --> 00:35:23.760
about those know it all type personas. There's people that seem to know everything,

512
00:35:23.800 --> 00:35:28.079
but they seem to just not even
agree to even listen to other people's

513
00:35:28.079 --> 00:35:30.679
opinions. They don't have enough knowledge
based to not do that, and they

514
00:35:30.719 --> 00:35:34.239
continue to do that. And we
can see that a lot of times and

515
00:35:34.280 --> 00:35:37.559
folks like lawyers, doctors, you
know, accountants, That list goes on

516
00:35:37.639 --> 00:35:39.960
right and so a lot of times
people will hire people in those roles that

517
00:35:40.079 --> 00:35:44.639
have this persona, this very you
know, kind of self centered, powerful,

518
00:35:44.719 --> 00:35:47.519
I know everything persona because they're so
used to that from their family dynamic,

519
00:35:47.719 --> 00:35:51.920
whether it was their mother or their
father, that that type of that

520
00:35:52.039 --> 00:35:54.719
person and how they were to them
growing up, and then what they ended

521
00:35:54.760 --> 00:36:00.960
up seeing as powerful or smart or
strong based on that upbringing. And I

522
00:36:01.039 --> 00:36:06.679
recently had a call with one of
my mother's physicians today and it really really

523
00:36:06.760 --> 00:36:09.079
really rubbed me the wrong way,
and it was interesting. And I've been

524
00:36:09.079 --> 00:36:13.039
talking about this, but that you
know, and I'll continue, is that

525
00:36:13.039 --> 00:36:16.960
the problem is is that that type
of behavior is just not even necessary,

526
00:36:17.800 --> 00:36:22.119
and that type of behavior doesn't give
a solution. That type of behavior is

527
00:36:22.199 --> 00:36:28.000
very limited. Right what happens there
is her care has already been limited.

528
00:36:28.519 --> 00:36:31.239
So now I realize that we're dealing
with someone that can't think outside of the

529
00:36:31.239 --> 00:36:35.239
box, is not willing to,
does not want to take advice or thought

530
00:36:35.239 --> 00:36:37.760
from anybody else, and so therefore
the only care she's getting is that one

531
00:36:37.800 --> 00:36:42.960
individual brain. That's it. There's
nothing else there. And that concerns me

532
00:36:43.400 --> 00:36:45.440
just like it would concern me if
this was someone's lawyer that didn't take into

533
00:36:45.440 --> 00:36:49.599
consideration, you know, something that
had just passed, or some sort of

534
00:36:49.639 --> 00:36:52.159
law or some idea that was brought
up. I don't want to hear any

535
00:36:52.159 --> 00:36:54.400
of that. Okay, well,
great, but this could pertain to the

536
00:36:54.440 --> 00:36:58.000
case, This could actually help,
this could make you change things. But

537
00:36:58.039 --> 00:37:00.559
you're not going to hear any of
that because you're better than that, You're

538
00:37:00.599 --> 00:37:05.519
smarter than that. Great, And
that's where I think that we fall short.

539
00:37:05.599 --> 00:37:08.039
That's where I feel like we have
problems in our society. That's where

540
00:37:08.039 --> 00:37:15.199
things get kind of like sticky in
our situations is when we're not getting that

541
00:37:15.280 --> 00:37:17.960
type of help. It would be
like going to a therapist or a life

542
00:37:19.000 --> 00:37:22.199
coach who's judging you on the things
that you do in your life. So

543
00:37:22.400 --> 00:37:25.360
instead of being able to talk freely
in session so that you can get help

544
00:37:25.400 --> 00:37:30.119
and understanding on how to make your
life better and how to make changes to

545
00:37:30.159 --> 00:37:32.440
feel better, to deal with stress
or anxiety, or deal with a relationship,

546
00:37:32.480 --> 00:37:37.320
instead of that, you're over there
trying to explain yourself on something that

547
00:37:37.320 --> 00:37:40.039
you shouldn't have to explain yourself on. You know, the last thing you

548
00:37:40.039 --> 00:37:44.039
want to do is have to deal
with that with somebody that's judging you in

549
00:37:44.079 --> 00:37:47.920
a situation where you actually just need
guidance and help. And I'm going to

550
00:37:47.960 --> 00:37:52.199
be doing some other podcasts on this
subject too, because I feel like there's

551
00:37:52.239 --> 00:37:55.800
so many of us who whether we're
having to deal with it as a secondary

552
00:37:55.800 --> 00:38:00.280
ancillary situation, like my mom in
the situation choices of the people that she's

553
00:38:00.280 --> 00:38:04.159
made in her life, that definitely
is going to affect me at some point.

554
00:38:04.239 --> 00:38:06.800
Right, So if he was a
really out of the box guy that

555
00:38:06.920 --> 00:38:09.679
had some really great ideas, some
really good cutting edge ideas of how to

556
00:38:09.679 --> 00:38:14.639
make my mom healthier, that would
be very advantageous for her, but also

557
00:38:14.719 --> 00:38:17.800
for me and anybody around her and
anybody around me, And that would be

558
00:38:17.880 --> 00:38:22.760
helpful. But because it seems so
shut down and closed down, now,

559
00:38:22.840 --> 00:38:24.599
what I'm dealing with is I'm going
to have to fight the system. Right,

560
00:38:24.880 --> 00:38:29.159
So it's like, until she can
see that the system is antiquated and

561
00:38:29.199 --> 00:38:31.800
that the system's not working for her, I have to then fight the system,

562
00:38:31.880 --> 00:38:35.840
or I have to fight or I
have to show her over and over

563
00:38:35.960 --> 00:38:39.320
again how this might not be the
right situation for her. And with that,

564
00:38:39.639 --> 00:38:44.519
it's day after day, month after
month, year after year that we

565
00:38:44.519 --> 00:38:47.519
could be having better care or better
knowledge, but we don't because I'm trying

566
00:38:47.519 --> 00:38:51.639
to be able to show the way. Because it's bigger than the doctor,

567
00:38:51.719 --> 00:38:54.519
right, It's this archetype of person
that she's used to being around, that

568
00:38:54.559 --> 00:38:59.800
she's used to hearing from, that
she's used to taking, you know,

569
00:39:00.400 --> 00:39:05.840
direction from. It's not just him, He's just a symptom of the upbringing,

570
00:39:06.440 --> 00:39:09.360
and so having to explain that and
then explain the situation and then overcome

571
00:39:09.400 --> 00:39:15.119
that and then overcome her fear of
letting that go and moving on with somebody

572
00:39:15.199 --> 00:39:17.639
that could actually work better for her. You know, if this show is

573
00:39:17.679 --> 00:39:20.840
connected with you, reach out to
me. I'd love to hear from you.

574
00:39:20.760 --> 00:39:22.880
You can go to my website Ashleyburges
dot com and you can just send

575
00:39:22.880 --> 00:39:27.119
me a message on contact. You
can also find me on social media as

576
00:39:27.119 --> 00:39:29.559
I'm on all of them except for
like one or two of them, but

577
00:39:29.639 --> 00:39:35.239
on we're on everything, Instagram,
Facebook, TikTok, everything, So reach

578
00:39:35.280 --> 00:39:37.079
out to me, and I'd love
to hear from you and your perspective if

579
00:39:37.079 --> 00:39:42.199
you're going through this with a family
member right now, where you're having to

580
00:39:42.199 --> 00:39:45.119
deal with these people and the family
members not listening to you because you're not

581
00:39:45.360 --> 00:39:50.239
that narcissistic, self centered person.
I would love to interview. I'd love

582
00:39:50.280 --> 00:39:52.639
to talk with you because I want
to put together, you know, a

583
00:39:52.679 --> 00:39:54.800
grouping of folks who are going through
this so that we can actually work to

584
00:39:54.880 --> 00:40:00.880
overcome this and show our family members
what's really happened. It's not about the

585
00:40:00.920 --> 00:40:05.199
doctor or the lawyer or whoever.
It's about them, and they're choosing of

586
00:40:05.280 --> 00:40:08.679
these people, and how the choosing
of these people are limiting their successes or

587
00:40:08.840 --> 00:40:13.800
limiting their ability and are getting in
the way of them being healthy in some

588
00:40:13.880 --> 00:40:17.559
cases because that person is not willing
to listen to any outside resources or thought

589
00:40:17.599 --> 00:40:22.320
processes. So I hope that this
has inspired you to start taking things,

590
00:40:22.360 --> 00:40:24.480
you know, and start looking at
things, maybe taking that call when your

591
00:40:24.519 --> 00:40:29.119
parent is in the doctor's office,
you know, starting to think about these

592
00:40:29.119 --> 00:40:31.400
things and seeing what happens, because
it could actually make some sense, and

593
00:40:31.480 --> 00:40:36.159
it could go a long way to
you understanding what's going on and getting more

594
00:40:36.239 --> 00:40:39.360
knowledge to help you and to help
them stay tuned live your true life perspectives

595
00:40:39.840 --> 00:40:43.639
with me. Your host, Ashley
Burtis, will be back in well,

596
00:40:43.760 --> 00:40:47.000
you know what i'll be back this
time. I'm back this time. In

597
00:40:47.079 --> 00:40:50.199
three shakes,