April 29, 2026

Are you Surrounded by Positive, Negative, Toxic, or Realist People? [Ep: 812]

Are you Surrounded by Positive, Negative, Toxic, or Realist People? [Ep: 812]
Apple Podcasts podcast player iconSpotify podcast player iconRSS Feed podcast player icon
Apple Podcasts podcast player iconSpotify podcast player iconRSS Feed podcast player icon

In this episode of The Ashley Berges Podcast: Who are you spending your time with? I'm exploring positivity, negativity, toxic positivity, and realist thinking today. How each way of thinking impacts your mindset, relationships, health, success rate, and overall well-being. I’m discussing how negativity drains energy, allows for victimhood, and creates mental and emotional roadblocks. Toxic positivity is something many people are not aware of and fall victim to criticism and negative judgment. Just as harmful as negativity is toxic positivity, where there is no empathy and full judgment if you are not rainbows and unicorns all the time. Listen to this short, under-thirty-minute podcast that will help to identify the energy you have, the energy of others, and how to protect yourself from people who are bringing you down.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-ashley-berges-show--1272964/support.

WEBVTT

1
00:00:01.720 --> 00:00:04.240
You're in a good place now. You are listening to

2
00:00:04.320 --> 00:00:10.039
Perspectives with Ashley burgets Hi and welcome back to the

3
00:00:10.080 --> 00:00:18.120
Ashley Burgess podcast. Today. I want to discuss positivity, toxic positivity, negativity,

4
00:00:18.679 --> 00:00:22.679
and realism so that you can understand better the people

5
00:00:22.719 --> 00:00:27.320
around you, perhaps even yourself, where you're coming from, your perspective,

6
00:00:27.800 --> 00:00:31.600
your emotion. I find that when people are around certain

7
00:00:31.640 --> 00:00:35.079
people in their life, it brings more creativity, more happiness,

8
00:00:35.200 --> 00:00:38.119
more joy I see that when we're with different types

9
00:00:38.119 --> 00:00:41.920
of people, whether if they're negative or even toxically positive,

10
00:00:42.320 --> 00:00:45.200
it can bring us down, hurt us, make us feel bad.

11
00:00:45.679 --> 00:00:47.600
And so it's good to be able to look around

12
00:00:47.679 --> 00:00:50.280
at the people we spend the most time with, whether

13
00:00:50.320 --> 00:00:53.880
it's at work or home, and be able to understand

14
00:00:53.960 --> 00:00:56.520
are these the people that we need to be surrounded by,

15
00:00:57.520 --> 00:00:59.679
and how do we look at it? Because there's different

16
00:00:59.719 --> 00:01:02.560
ways of looking at things. Sometimes we're not aware when

17
00:01:02.600 --> 00:01:06.519
somebody is super negative, and sometimes we're not aware when

18
00:01:06.560 --> 00:01:09.719
somebody is toxically positive because we really don't know some

19
00:01:09.799 --> 00:01:11.920
of those things you're not really catching on. We give

20
00:01:11.959 --> 00:01:14.680
a lot of excuses, or maybe somebody's been through a lot,

21
00:01:14.719 --> 00:01:17.280
even though most of us on this planet have been

22
00:01:17.319 --> 00:01:21.879
through a lot. We tend to give passes to certain people. Well,

23
00:01:21.920 --> 00:01:23.799
they've had a hard life, or they've gone through this

24
00:01:23.840 --> 00:01:26.799
and that, and so we allow that attitude to be

25
00:01:27.959 --> 00:01:32.319
even though that attitude is actually continuing the issue within

26
00:01:32.400 --> 00:01:34.920
their own life. The more we give out of something,

27
00:01:34.959 --> 00:01:37.480
the more we receive with that something right. So the

28
00:01:37.519 --> 00:01:41.120
more we're there for people and we're helping people and

29
00:01:41.159 --> 00:01:44.159
we're doing what's right, the more we get that back. Now,

30
00:01:44.159 --> 00:01:47.519
there's some situations where you don't where you're spending time

31
00:01:47.560 --> 00:01:51.680
with people that do not provide, do not help out,

32
00:01:52.640 --> 00:01:55.760
even to some degree, maybe taking your energy. So let's

33
00:01:55.840 --> 00:01:59.840
first begin with understanding. What I would like to talk

34
00:02:00.400 --> 00:02:05.159
is negativity. When I think of negativity, I think of pessimistic.

35
00:02:05.280 --> 00:02:09.840
I think of somebody that's very skeptical, somebody that's very disagreeable.

36
00:02:11.199 --> 00:02:17.360
They're constantly disagreeing with you with regards to absolutely everything

37
00:02:17.479 --> 00:02:21.039
you bring up. So it's always a worst case scenario.

38
00:02:23.080 --> 00:02:27.120
There's a biasness to their negative thought process, and it's

39
00:02:27.159 --> 00:02:31.680
almost like they get a energy or a high off

40
00:02:31.759 --> 00:02:35.680
being super negative. And I want you to think about that.

41
00:02:35.759 --> 00:02:38.759
You know people that their whole life is about being negative.

42
00:02:38.800 --> 00:02:42.599
It's about being negative. It's about presenting the negative thought process.

43
00:02:43.159 --> 00:02:46.520
It's about pushing their agenda or their thoughts, and in

44
00:02:46.560 --> 00:02:50.800
those factors, they create other people to have anxiety, maybe

45
00:02:50.840 --> 00:02:53.599
other people to stop working as much because they're like, oh,

46
00:02:53.639 --> 00:02:56.759
why should I? I mean, nothing's gonna work anyway. I

47
00:02:56.800 --> 00:02:59.919
also find that the more negative somebody is, the more

48
00:03:00.120 --> 00:03:03.719
this actually frames their entire life, so they see everything

49
00:03:03.759 --> 00:03:06.919
in the negative light. Everything's a chronic complaint. There's like

50
00:03:07.360 --> 00:03:11.360
constantly bad things happening on the horizon. And I also

51
00:03:11.520 --> 00:03:14.560
find that there's a lot of self criticism but also

52
00:03:14.680 --> 00:03:19.360
a lot of blaming others in a victimhood reality. Okay,

53
00:03:19.759 --> 00:03:22.639
so it's more about, look what's happening to me. This

54
00:03:22.639 --> 00:03:25.240
person did this to me. My life is so horrible.

55
00:03:25.280 --> 00:03:28.599
This person did this to me. It's not about taking

56
00:03:28.639 --> 00:03:32.039
ownership about Okay, even if something happened to you, how

57
00:03:32.039 --> 00:03:37.479
do you rise above that, take control and get your

58
00:03:37.479 --> 00:03:42.639
life back on track. Because the impact of negativity creates

59
00:03:42.879 --> 00:03:47.719
mental fatigue, It causes poor decision making. It causes somebody

60
00:03:47.719 --> 00:03:51.400
to think in a very negative and narrowing perspective, like

61
00:03:51.439 --> 00:03:54.919
there's no other options. And what I've found is that

62
00:03:55.000 --> 00:03:59.479
when you're around somebody that's negative in a personal relationship,

63
00:03:59.560 --> 00:04:04.599
a work relationship, or friendship, that the negativity is like

64
00:04:04.639 --> 00:04:08.960
an illness. It's like a virus, and it begins to

65
00:04:09.000 --> 00:04:11.639
like get all over everybody, right, it gets all over everybody.

66
00:04:11.639 --> 00:04:13.639
It's even like in a work scenario when you have

67
00:04:13.840 --> 00:04:18.000
one person that is really super negative in the office

68
00:04:18.160 --> 00:04:20.480
and you try to avoid this person, but they seem

69
00:04:20.519 --> 00:04:24.079
to be everywhere and they're constantly talking about worst case scenario,

70
00:04:24.639 --> 00:04:27.680
and it really begins to impair the relationship because many

71
00:04:27.720 --> 00:04:30.839
of you either fall into it where you begin to

72
00:04:31.040 --> 00:04:35.120
adopt the negative thought process, or you begin to get

73
00:04:35.279 --> 00:04:39.000
sucked in to this person and all of a sudden,

74
00:04:39.000 --> 00:04:41.800
your entire concept of reality begins to shift and you

75
00:04:41.879 --> 00:04:45.519
start seeing this negativity. Or you're the opposite where you

76
00:04:45.600 --> 00:04:49.600
try to run from this person. And sometimes some of you,

77
00:04:49.600 --> 00:04:51.319
you know, are like me in a way where it's

78
00:04:51.319 --> 00:04:53.879
almost like you're trying to help them get over this negativity,

79
00:04:53.920 --> 00:04:56.319
but it's like you can't handle being around negativity, so

80
00:04:56.360 --> 00:04:58.920
it just literally rubs you the wrong way. You're trying

81
00:04:58.959 --> 00:05:02.079
to get out from being around them. You're trying to

82
00:05:02.120 --> 00:05:08.120
move on, and anybody can overcome negativity. That's not an issue.

83
00:05:08.160 --> 00:05:11.439
Anybody can overcome that. The problem though, is that a

84
00:05:11.439 --> 00:05:13.399
lot of people get off on it. It's almost like

85
00:05:13.439 --> 00:05:15.279
they get a double mean high from being more and

86
00:05:15.319 --> 00:05:20.040
more negative, like they actually get something from it. And

87
00:05:20.079 --> 00:05:22.240
that's why it's the same when you deal with people

88
00:05:22.240 --> 00:05:24.720
that want attention no matter what, even if the attention

89
00:05:24.879 --> 00:05:27.839
is bad, they still get off on it. So they

90
00:05:27.920 --> 00:05:29.560
might push you and push you and push you and

91
00:05:29.600 --> 00:05:33.000
push you, you know, pushing all your buttons, getting very angry,

92
00:05:33.199 --> 00:05:36.240
you know, being very rude, putting you down, calling you names,

93
00:05:36.240 --> 00:05:39.199
and eventually you lash out and you can see like

94
00:05:39.240 --> 00:05:41.759
this chess shard grin on their face because they got

95
00:05:41.800 --> 00:05:43.639
what they wanted. They wanted you to lose it. They

96
00:05:43.720 --> 00:05:46.040
wanted you to get mad, and then you feel bad

97
00:05:46.079 --> 00:05:49.120
about getting mad. But they got that hit, you know,

98
00:05:49.160 --> 00:05:51.000
it's like they got they got that hit of cocaine.

99
00:05:51.040 --> 00:05:52.680
They got that hit, and they're like, ooh, that feels

100
00:05:52.680 --> 00:05:55.399
really good, and so they like that. They roll around

101
00:05:55.439 --> 00:05:58.160
in that negativity. They roll around in this kind of stuff,

102
00:05:58.560 --> 00:06:01.360
and unfortunately, if you're hanging out with somebody that's rolling

103
00:06:01.399 --> 00:06:04.639
around in this stuff. You're gonna get dirty too, because

104
00:06:04.680 --> 00:06:07.959
you really can't keep a positive outlook when someone is

105
00:06:07.959 --> 00:06:10.959
constantly negative. You can try, but it's like having the

106
00:06:11.000 --> 00:06:14.160
fight of good versus evil. You are going to feel it.

107
00:06:14.160 --> 00:06:16.920
It is going to be a constant anchor. It's gonna

108
00:06:16.959 --> 00:06:20.079
be something holding you down. It's like two cinder blocks, right,

109
00:06:20.240 --> 00:06:22.519
It's gonna be holding you down. It's very hard to

110
00:06:22.560 --> 00:06:25.480
overcome that. It's very hard to stop this type of

111
00:06:25.519 --> 00:06:28.240
interaction and to try to change that person because that

112
00:06:28.279 --> 00:06:32.079
person has to want to change. That person has to

113
00:06:32.160 --> 00:06:34.720
want to change, you know. And so that's the thing

114
00:06:34.800 --> 00:06:36.639
is that, how you know, dealing with them can be

115
00:06:36.759 --> 00:06:41.800
very challenging, and I think negativity is like habitual, and

116
00:06:41.839 --> 00:06:43.720
so you know, some of the warning signs of dealing

117
00:06:43.800 --> 00:06:46.199
with negative people is there's that victim reality, like we

118
00:06:46.279 --> 00:06:48.279
talked about, And that's one of the biggest ones. Is

119
00:06:48.279 --> 00:06:49.879
one of the biggest keys I want you to catch

120
00:06:49.920 --> 00:06:53.480
on to, because most negative people are the victim in

121
00:06:53.519 --> 00:06:57.040
every single situation. It's not about what they're doing, it's

122
00:06:57.079 --> 00:07:00.959
what everybody else is doing to them. They criticize people,

123
00:07:01.079 --> 00:07:03.879
they don't compliment. They always find a fault and everybody

124
00:07:03.879 --> 00:07:07.360
they know. Everybody they see is either fat or this

125
00:07:07.759 --> 00:07:10.600
or that or ugly or whatever. There's always some problems.

126
00:07:11.120 --> 00:07:15.399
They're constantly complaining about everything. Nothing's ever good. The food sucks,

127
00:07:15.480 --> 00:07:19.040
this sucks, the atmosphere sucks, this movie sucks. Everybody sucks.

128
00:07:19.519 --> 00:07:21.560
You know. They see the worst in people, so instead

129
00:07:21.600 --> 00:07:24.279
of seeing good in people, they actually see people in

130
00:07:24.319 --> 00:07:29.720
the absolute worst light. They expect the worst in the situations.

131
00:07:29.759 --> 00:07:31.879
And that's why when I have clients who are dating

132
00:07:32.000 --> 00:07:34.560
or engaged or married to somebody that's super negative. They'll say,

133
00:07:34.639 --> 00:07:36.959
we took this trip and it was the absolute worst trip.

134
00:07:37.040 --> 00:07:39.720
Everything that could possibly go wrong went wrong. Well, that's

135
00:07:39.720 --> 00:07:43.680
because you have somebody right there making it happen. You

136
00:07:43.800 --> 00:07:47.160
literally have the person right there making it happen from

137
00:07:47.240 --> 00:07:49.399
your very eyes. Okay, so how are you ever going

138
00:07:49.439 --> 00:07:52.720
to get away from that? They lack, you know, gratitude

139
00:07:52.720 --> 00:07:54.879
for anything because they don't see anything as being good,

140
00:07:55.279 --> 00:07:57.600
and they bring others down to make them feel better.

141
00:07:57.720 --> 00:08:00.839
So if you're constantly with somebody that's bringing you down,

142
00:08:01.720 --> 00:08:04.560
you know, to make themselves feel better, they're not gonna

143
00:08:04.560 --> 00:08:07.879
stop because they're getting a high from that, right They're

144
00:08:07.920 --> 00:08:10.720
getting high off of that, and that's something I want

145
00:08:10.720 --> 00:08:14.079
you to think about. Now, let's move into what positivity is.

146
00:08:14.160 --> 00:08:18.360
Positivity to me is optimistic, it's being confident. It's focusing on,

147
00:08:19.000 --> 00:08:22.199
you know, your goals. It's really focusing on the things

148
00:08:22.240 --> 00:08:25.839
that you can actually kind of control, right, And it's

149
00:08:25.879 --> 00:08:29.000
about being hopeful. It's about being forward looking. It's about

150
00:08:29.000 --> 00:08:33.919
being constructive. It's about having gratitude. It's about not dwelling

151
00:08:33.960 --> 00:08:36.840
in the negative, because bad things can't happen, but if

152
00:08:36.840 --> 00:08:40.120
we dwell in it, they continue. If we dwell in it,

153
00:08:40.120 --> 00:08:44.799
then we fall victim into this reality. I also think

154
00:08:44.879 --> 00:08:49.679
that positivity is about, you know, gratitude. It's about being positive.

155
00:08:49.960 --> 00:08:53.200
It's about overcoming that negativity, being grateful for the things

156
00:08:53.200 --> 00:08:55.200
that you have, Grateful for the people in your life,

157
00:08:55.240 --> 00:08:58.120
grateful for the opportunities you have. You know, you might

158
00:08:58.159 --> 00:09:00.399
not live in a mansion, but you're grateful for your apartment.

159
00:09:00.600 --> 00:09:03.159
You might not be driving a g wagon, but you're

160
00:09:03.159 --> 00:09:06.159
grateful for your car. It's putting things into perspective and

161
00:09:06.240 --> 00:09:09.840
not having this you know, kind of negative delusion that

162
00:09:09.879 --> 00:09:12.039
you have around you. And so I feel like it's confidence,

163
00:09:12.080 --> 00:09:15.080
it's cheery, and it's active. Like when we're positive, we're

164
00:09:15.120 --> 00:09:18.320
being active. We're actively finding a better concept. We're actively

165
00:09:18.360 --> 00:09:23.039
consciously training ourselves to you know, choose differently. We're choosing

166
00:09:23.519 --> 00:09:26.440
to be effective. We're choosing to be consistent. We're choosing

167
00:09:26.519 --> 00:09:28.639
to get up early in the morning, get ready, take

168
00:09:28.679 --> 00:09:30.879
a shower, get ready. But for the day, we're not

169
00:09:31.039 --> 00:09:35.519
being a victim, you know, we're we actually have hope.

170
00:09:35.519 --> 00:09:38.039
We actually know that we can change things, we can

171
00:09:38.200 --> 00:09:42.799
do things. There's a positive role, a positive experience. And

172
00:09:42.879 --> 00:09:47.720
I feel like it's about having encouragement. It's about feeling encouraging.

173
00:09:47.919 --> 00:09:51.440
It's about encouraging others. And it's and you're looking for

174
00:09:51.519 --> 00:09:54.600
a successful outcome. Now it doesn't always happen, right, that's

175
00:09:54.759 --> 00:09:57.919
you know, But it's not about that. It's about having

176
00:09:57.919 --> 00:10:03.159
that resilience. It's about being empowered. It's about having that

177
00:10:03.200 --> 00:10:05.480
feeling of saying, hey, I am doing these things, having

178
00:10:05.480 --> 00:10:09.320
that compassion for other people, having kindness, being kind, having

179
00:10:09.360 --> 00:10:13.399
empathy for other people. These are very important aspects. But

180
00:10:13.759 --> 00:10:15.879
I want to share with you there are some people

181
00:10:15.960 --> 00:10:19.080
that go the extreme other way. That's what we call

182
00:10:19.200 --> 00:10:22.639
toxic positivity, and that's something totally different, that is not

183
00:10:22.759 --> 00:10:27.039
positivity at all. It's toxic positivity, and it is about

184
00:10:27.440 --> 00:10:33.519
excessive it's about overly optimistic. It's about not seeing the

185
00:10:33.559 --> 00:10:38.360
other side. It's about suppressing any type of negative. It's

186
00:10:38.399 --> 00:10:43.440
about suppressing things to a harmful degree. It's this forced happiness,

187
00:10:43.919 --> 00:10:48.759
this force optimism. And so that's really problematic in its

188
00:10:48.759 --> 00:10:51.639
own right because a lot of times when people have

189
00:10:51.679 --> 00:10:53.720
a problem or there's an issue and they share it

190
00:10:53.720 --> 00:10:58.000
with somebody that's toxically positive, that toxic positive person almost

191
00:10:58.039 --> 00:11:01.240
shames that person and saying, why would you even feel

192
00:11:01.320 --> 00:11:03.360
this way? This is crazy. You should not be feeling

193
00:11:03.360 --> 00:11:05.000
this way. You should not be feeling this way. You

194
00:11:05.039 --> 00:11:07.279
should be positive about this. You know, Hey, my mother

195
00:11:07.399 --> 00:11:09.120
just died and it was really painful. You should get

196
00:11:09.159 --> 00:11:12.320
over that. You should be grateful, Like what's wrong with you? So,

197
00:11:12.960 --> 00:11:17.440
you know, as far as positive positivity is concerned, it's okay.

198
00:11:17.519 --> 00:11:19.840
Like when you're positive, you're okay to have other types

199
00:11:19.879 --> 00:11:22.559
of emotions. You're just trying to be positive. You're working

200
00:11:22.559 --> 00:11:25.720
on positivity for the most time. You're trying not to

201
00:11:25.759 --> 00:11:29.360
sit in negativity. You're working on that. But the toxic positivity,

202
00:11:29.360 --> 00:11:31.759
to me, is almost just as bad. As a negativity

203
00:11:32.279 --> 00:11:35.440
because that person is denying themselves the reality of life,

204
00:11:35.519 --> 00:11:38.080
and they're also denying the people around them. Oh you

205
00:11:38.159 --> 00:11:40.399
will be positive, Oh you will do this, you will

206
00:11:40.399 --> 00:11:42.840
do that. And so a lot of times, instead of

207
00:11:42.879 --> 00:11:46.960
practicing self compassion and compassion for others, you're almost like,

208
00:11:47.639 --> 00:11:50.600
you know, getting angry at people and putting them down

209
00:11:50.639 --> 00:11:53.879
and guilding them because you know they're not positive all

210
00:11:53.919 --> 00:11:57.519
the time. Right, So it's like the successive positivity. It's

211
00:11:57.559 --> 00:12:00.679
like excessive. It's like everything has to be happy. Everything

212
00:12:00.759 --> 00:12:04.440
is just positive good vibes. Only get over the status,

213
00:12:04.480 --> 00:12:08.240
get over the hardship, move on. It's complete emotional suppression.

214
00:12:08.440 --> 00:12:12.919
It's complete force positivity, and it's an invalidation of feelings

215
00:12:12.919 --> 00:12:15.360
because there's a part of life where it's not always easy,

216
00:12:15.519 --> 00:12:17.480
and there's sometimes you just have to look at stuff

217
00:12:17.519 --> 00:12:21.919
in a realistic way. And so what I really think

218
00:12:21.960 --> 00:12:26.519
about in my life is, for the most part, I'm positive, positive, positive, positive, positive.

219
00:12:27.039 --> 00:12:29.240
But I also feel like there's more of the time

220
00:12:29.240 --> 00:12:32.440
that also I'm positive, But I also sit in an

221
00:12:32.480 --> 00:12:41.480
area called reality realism. Realism it's just how things are, okay.

222
00:12:41.559 --> 00:12:43.759
So there's things that are happening in this world that

223
00:12:43.879 --> 00:12:47.559
I do not like, I do not agree with. There's

224
00:12:47.600 --> 00:12:50.440
things that are horrible and violent. I mean from everything

225
00:12:50.480 --> 00:12:54.639
from animal testing to the files to children who are

226
00:12:54.840 --> 00:12:57.080
everything that's happening in our world, right, I mean, there's

227
00:12:57.120 --> 00:12:59.399
some good things happening, sure, but there's some really really

228
00:12:59.440 --> 00:13:01.919
bad things. And so we have I can't sit there

229
00:13:01.960 --> 00:13:04.200
and be positive about all these things, like well, that's okay,

230
00:13:04.240 --> 00:13:08.120
this is great. No, we have to accept the reality

231
00:13:08.120 --> 00:13:10.039
of some of these things. And in that process we

232
00:13:10.080 --> 00:13:12.120
don't want to get lost in any sort of negativity,

233
00:13:12.440 --> 00:13:14.120
because there is a rabbit hole, right You can be

234
00:13:14.200 --> 00:13:16.960
realistic about something, but if you don't watch out, you

235
00:13:17.000 --> 00:13:20.919
can crank down that rabbit hole into negativity. And so

236
00:13:21.000 --> 00:13:23.480
I do feel like realism is just like focusing on

237
00:13:24.639 --> 00:13:28.320
you know, just being realistic. And I know that realism

238
00:13:28.320 --> 00:13:30.039
is some degree. Some people would say it was a

239
00:13:30.080 --> 00:13:33.559
literary movement in the nineteenth century, and yes it is,

240
00:13:33.600 --> 00:13:37.480
but it was depicting life, society, everyday subjects in a

241
00:13:37.600 --> 00:13:43.080
truthful and objective way and rejecting the concept of idolization

242
00:13:43.679 --> 00:13:46.480
or idolizing any sort of romanticism. Right. That that's the

243
00:13:46.559 --> 00:13:49.039
key here, That's what I'm talking about. So we look

244
00:13:49.039 --> 00:13:52.759
at these situations and we realize, you know, it's okay

245
00:13:52.840 --> 00:13:56.720
to be realistic, representing things in real life as they are,

246
00:13:56.879 --> 00:14:00.320
not in a dream. Not Oh this is the best situation.

247
00:14:00.960 --> 00:14:03.440
And I feel like when you are realistic, you can

248
00:14:03.480 --> 00:14:08.879
think critically, you can be objective, you can see different perspectives.

249
00:14:10.200 --> 00:14:14.159
You know, you can make decisions in this process. A

250
00:14:14.159 --> 00:14:16.960
realistic person, to me is a person who knows what

251
00:14:17.000 --> 00:14:20.840
they want. They're working to get it, and they're working

252
00:14:20.919 --> 00:14:24.639
to keep it. And so I think when you're thinking

253
00:14:24.639 --> 00:14:28.679
about are you a realist, you know, okay, For example,

254
00:14:28.720 --> 00:14:31.440
it's a balanced perspective. You don't see the glass half full.

255
00:14:31.720 --> 00:14:33.679
You don't see the glass half empty. You see how

256
00:14:33.720 --> 00:14:35.240
much is in the glass to begin with. I mean,

257
00:14:35.240 --> 00:14:38.240
this is how much coffee I have? Yeah, I mean, actually,

258
00:14:38.320 --> 00:14:42.799
mind's more full than not, and that's great, and that's

259
00:14:42.840 --> 00:14:46.600
something to consider. So I'm not lying to myself. I'm

260
00:14:46.639 --> 00:14:51.480
just being honest. You make decisions based on practical considerations,

261
00:14:52.039 --> 00:14:56.600
not on your emotions. You also take things as they come,

262
00:14:57.159 --> 00:15:00.440
adapting to situations rather than trying to force a perfect outcome.

263
00:15:01.919 --> 00:15:06.840
You also look at concrete evidence and think about that

264
00:15:06.960 --> 00:15:09.320
so you're not. And the thing is is that a

265
00:15:09.360 --> 00:15:12.679
realist is not a pessimist. They're not worst case scenario

266
00:15:12.840 --> 00:15:17.639
because worst case scenario isn't true. Case scenario isn't realistic,

267
00:15:18.879 --> 00:15:22.639
it's not. And so there's a very big difference between

268
00:15:22.720 --> 00:15:27.039
being realist and being negative. And so I really like

269
00:15:27.120 --> 00:15:30.960
to adapt in my life a concept of positivity with realism,

270
00:15:31.440 --> 00:15:35.080
a connection of the two bridge together. So I'd rather

271
00:15:35.159 --> 00:15:39.080
see one area of life as far as you know

272
00:15:39.279 --> 00:15:45.600
the possibilities based on evidence and a positive light, instead

273
00:15:45.600 --> 00:15:48.679
of worst case scenario, because worst case scenario, yes, sometimes

274
00:15:48.679 --> 00:15:51.679
it happens, but most of time it doesn't. I also

275
00:15:51.799 --> 00:15:53.840
like to look at things realistically, and I try my

276
00:15:53.919 --> 00:15:56.759
best to reserve and to remove emotion out of big decisions,

277
00:15:56.799 --> 00:15:59.960
because emotions do cloud our judgments sometimes based on our

278
00:16:00.080 --> 00:16:03.320
own triggers and past that we haven't worked on. Right,

279
00:16:03.360 --> 00:16:05.679
So the only time we get triggered is when things

280
00:16:05.879 --> 00:16:08.039
come to light or when things happen in our life

281
00:16:08.039 --> 00:16:10.919
that we haven't worked on. And these are big considerations.

282
00:16:10.919 --> 00:16:12.440
These are things that we have to work on in

283
00:16:12.480 --> 00:16:17.279
our life to be happier and healthier, and it's very important.

284
00:16:18.679 --> 00:16:22.960
And so I think sometimes realists are mistaken for pessimis

285
00:16:23.399 --> 00:16:26.200
because they can be skeptical. But but I don't. Skeptical

286
00:16:26.600 --> 00:16:29.000
is different. You have to look at things from all

287
00:16:29.120 --> 00:16:32.240
different you know, areas. I like to look at things

288
00:16:32.279 --> 00:16:34.559
from multiple sides of things. You know, I like to

289
00:16:34.559 --> 00:16:37.879
look at something from this perspective, that perspective, this perspective,

290
00:16:37.919 --> 00:16:40.639
turn it around, hold it in your hand, look at it,

291
00:16:41.039 --> 00:16:44.279
do your research, and then yes, I want to think

292
00:16:44.320 --> 00:16:47.039
of the highest good. So I want you to think

293
00:16:47.080 --> 00:16:49.440
about how many people do you have around you right

294
00:16:49.480 --> 00:16:55.320
now who you would consider negative personality where there is

295
00:16:55.360 --> 00:16:59.320
the worst case scenario, it is the victim reality. And also,

296
00:16:59.679 --> 00:17:02.320
out of those people, how much time do you have

297
00:17:02.440 --> 00:17:06.720
to spend with them? Because this can really impact our lives.

298
00:17:08.359 --> 00:17:11.119
And if you're dealing with negativity in your household, how

299
00:17:11.119 --> 00:17:13.240
are you dealing with that? How are you processing that?

300
00:17:13.759 --> 00:17:16.160
Are you having conversations with this person? Like I like

301
00:17:16.279 --> 00:17:19.400
when I have to deal with negative people, which I

302
00:17:19.440 --> 00:17:21.519
try not to, but when I do, you know, after

303
00:17:21.599 --> 00:17:23.759
I hear them bring up like fifteen thousand things that

304
00:17:23.759 --> 00:17:25.319
are negative, I'll be like, hey, do you have a posit?

305
00:17:25.440 --> 00:17:27.319
Let's le's talk about something that's good going on in

306
00:17:27.359 --> 00:17:30.359
your life. Let's discuss one thing that you think is positive.

307
00:17:31.960 --> 00:17:34.599
I also realize that a lot of negative people gossip.

308
00:17:34.799 --> 00:17:38.799
They're constantly gossiping me about other people's business. They're constantly

309
00:17:38.880 --> 00:17:43.039
talking and judging about what everybody else is doing. I mean,

310
00:17:43.079 --> 00:17:45.279
that's like negative alone in its own I mean, I

311
00:17:45.319 --> 00:17:48.720
don't care what other people are doing. It gets to

312
00:17:48.799 --> 00:17:51.720
a point where, you know, it's interesting, you know, being

313
00:17:51.799 --> 00:17:55.319
in you know, in counseling and coaching, I hear a

314
00:17:55.319 --> 00:17:57.400
lot of things and I don't have any judgment, and

315
00:17:57.440 --> 00:18:01.440
I hear some wild, wild stuff. But you know, like

316
00:18:01.480 --> 00:18:03.960
I'll go out, you know and do something social and

317
00:18:04.000 --> 00:18:06.680
somebody will start trying to gossip with me about somebody's

318
00:18:06.720 --> 00:18:08.880
wife or husband or whatever, and I'm like, I have

319
00:18:08.960 --> 00:18:11.960
no interest whatsoever. I am not in that person's life.

320
00:18:12.160 --> 00:18:14.119
I do not care what's going on. I mean, I

321
00:18:14.160 --> 00:18:15.799
wish them the best of luck, but I don't care

322
00:18:15.839 --> 00:18:17.039
what's going on in their life. And I don't want

323
00:18:17.039 --> 00:18:19.640
to talk about that because me talking about that lowers

324
00:18:19.720 --> 00:18:24.160
my vibration down. Now I'm in this gossip Yeah, this

325
00:18:24.319 --> 00:18:27.559
gossip soup going on here where I'm talking about somebody's

326
00:18:27.599 --> 00:18:30.440
life that I don't even really know, and I feel

327
00:18:30.440 --> 00:18:32.480
like a lot of negative people do that. They like

328
00:18:32.559 --> 00:18:34.960
to talk about everybody else because they don't want to

329
00:18:34.960 --> 00:18:38.839
look at themselves. They don't want to look at their

330
00:18:38.839 --> 00:18:44.480
own issues because that's too much. So they'll judge everybody

331
00:18:44.519 --> 00:18:47.519
in their perimeter. They'll judge even people they don't know.

332
00:18:47.799 --> 00:18:50.559
They'll even judge their own family members and everybody else

333
00:18:50.559 --> 00:18:53.039
and friends, and they'll talk behind their back about how

334
00:18:53.079 --> 00:18:57.559
horrible they are. And that's something that is really toxic,

335
00:18:57.640 --> 00:18:59.599
because I don't know if you've ever known people like that.

336
00:18:59.680 --> 00:19:02.279
I have known people in my past that I try

337
00:19:02.319 --> 00:19:04.319
to be friends with that just didn't work, where it

338
00:19:04.359 --> 00:19:05.880
was like you would be alone with them and they

339
00:19:05.880 --> 00:19:09.640
would literally bring up every single person that you commonly

340
00:19:09.680 --> 00:19:12.799
know with this person and just talk crap about them.

341
00:19:13.160 --> 00:19:15.000
And I don't know about you, but you know, I

342
00:19:15.079 --> 00:19:16.960
kind of saw the writing on the wall, and maybe

343
00:19:16.960 --> 00:19:19.480
that was wrong, but I was like, huh, I wonder

344
00:19:19.480 --> 00:19:21.960
if you talk crap about me, you know, I mean,

345
00:19:22.240 --> 00:19:24.799
you're talking crap about these fifteen people for these two

346
00:19:24.799 --> 00:19:27.640
hours we're having some wine. I hate to be, you know,

347
00:19:27.680 --> 00:19:29.200
on the other side of that. I wonder when that

348
00:19:29.240 --> 00:19:30.559
you know, I was like, I gotta kind of move

349
00:19:30.759 --> 00:19:33.079
I gotta move on, because this isn't the type of person.

350
00:19:33.119 --> 00:19:35.559
If you're gonna talk all this stuff about your friends,

351
00:19:36.400 --> 00:19:40.079
that's not a good sign. You don't have anybody's back,

352
00:19:40.960 --> 00:19:42.799
and that's not somebody that I want to put my

353
00:19:42.880 --> 00:19:46.160
time and effort into. So when you think about positivity,

354
00:19:46.240 --> 00:19:48.839
how many people in your life are positive? How many

355
00:19:48.839 --> 00:19:52.240
people are genuinely positive? And you like to communicate with

356
00:19:52.440 --> 00:19:55.839
how many people bring happiness and joy into your life?

357
00:19:55.839 --> 00:19:57.480
And no, let me let me get this right. Though

358
00:19:58.119 --> 00:20:03.319
people cannot make you happy. You have to make yourself happy.

359
00:20:03.400 --> 00:20:06.759
People cannot give you peace. You have to give yourself peace.

360
00:20:07.599 --> 00:20:11.720
But people can bring in good energy and they can

361
00:20:11.759 --> 00:20:15.519
be there for you. It's different. How many people do

362
00:20:15.559 --> 00:20:17.400
you have in your life that's doing that right now?

363
00:20:17.480 --> 00:20:19.039
And I want you to really think about this. This

364
00:20:19.119 --> 00:20:21.480
is like roll call. I want you to really get

365
00:20:21.480 --> 00:20:24.400
in this and think about these concepts because the more

366
00:20:24.480 --> 00:20:27.319
you get into these concepts, the more you start evaluating

367
00:20:27.319 --> 00:20:29.880
your life. And this is powerful because we need to

368
00:20:29.920 --> 00:20:33.440
do life evaluations all the time to start cleaning house

369
00:20:33.559 --> 00:20:36.279
or to realize where certain things are coming from. This

370
00:20:36.359 --> 00:20:39.319
is important. This is important times to think about it.

371
00:20:40.240 --> 00:20:45.000
How many people in your life are realistic? So and

372
00:20:45.039 --> 00:20:47.440
then how are you as a person? You know, what,

373
00:20:48.720 --> 00:20:50.880
how are you as a person? Where do you stand

374
00:20:50.920 --> 00:20:55.000
when you look at the positivity, the toxic positivity, the

375
00:20:55.039 --> 00:20:59.759
negativity and the realistic concept? How do you stand within this?

376
00:21:01.599 --> 00:21:05.279
And I feel that the higher you can vibrate, so

377
00:21:05.319 --> 00:21:08.319
it's taking away from the toxic positivity and getting away

378
00:21:08.359 --> 00:21:11.640
from the negativity. If you can be within that positivity

379
00:21:11.680 --> 00:21:14.920
and realistic and realism, you really are on a different

380
00:21:15.000 --> 00:21:18.920
level of vibration and energy amongst the people on our planet.

381
00:21:20.200 --> 00:21:23.160
You're already looking at things from a better perspective because

382
00:21:23.160 --> 00:21:26.720
you're actually thinking about things logically, but you're also having

383
00:21:26.720 --> 00:21:31.720
a tinge of seeing things in a better light. I

384
00:21:31.880 --> 00:21:34.160
believe that the way that we see the world directly

385
00:21:34.200 --> 00:21:36.640
relates to how the world is for us. So if

386
00:21:36.640 --> 00:21:39.319
we see the world as a very safe, great place,

387
00:21:39.839 --> 00:21:42.960
it's gonna be more that way than not. If we

388
00:21:43.039 --> 00:21:45.039
see the world as a very scary place and we

389
00:21:45.119 --> 00:21:47.279
have the news on twenty four to seven and can't

390
00:21:47.359 --> 00:21:50.160
leave our house because of fear, and we're constantly hearing

391
00:21:50.160 --> 00:21:52.799
about somebody being abducted or this sort of thing. You're

392
00:21:52.839 --> 00:21:55.400
gonna see the world as a very scary, evil place

393
00:21:55.480 --> 00:21:58.480
that you don't necessarily want to deal with. And that's

394
00:21:58.480 --> 00:22:00.440
what I'm saying here. This is the whole concept. Today's

395
00:22:00.440 --> 00:22:02.599
show is just I want you to evaluate where you

396
00:22:02.640 --> 00:22:04.960
are because I know there's a lot of information coming in.

397
00:22:05.279 --> 00:22:07.640
I call it browbeating. This is what they do, is

398
00:22:07.640 --> 00:22:10.720
a browbeating means they throw all this stuff at you

399
00:22:10.799 --> 00:22:12.839
on the news, and all these reports and all these

400
00:22:12.839 --> 00:22:15.559
things come in, all these files. Okay, doesn't seem like

401
00:22:15.559 --> 00:22:19.119
anything's happening, doesn't seem like anybody's getting there. You know,

402
00:22:19.160 --> 00:22:23.480
they're just doue, you know, And so they keep throwing

403
00:22:23.480 --> 00:22:25.079
that out there more and more and more and more.

404
00:22:25.200 --> 00:22:28.759
You keep overwhelming. You're like consuming all this information, but

405
00:22:28.839 --> 00:22:31.119
where does it go? And so there's a time where

406
00:22:31.160 --> 00:22:35.119
you have to shut down this information overload, refocus on

407
00:22:35.160 --> 00:22:37.440
your life. What can I control? And I'm not saying

408
00:22:37.480 --> 00:22:40.039
we should not be activist for things like I'm anti

409
00:22:40.160 --> 00:22:42.839
animal testing. I really wish they would stop with these

410
00:22:43.200 --> 00:22:45.519
horrible animal testing. I really wish they would stop with

411
00:22:45.559 --> 00:22:48.599
like multiple things. And so I'm not gonna stop saying

412
00:22:48.599 --> 00:22:51.240
what I say. I'm not gonna stop, you know, getting

413
00:22:51.240 --> 00:22:53.200
behind organizations that are doing this. I'm not you know,

414
00:22:53.200 --> 00:22:55.279
I'm gonna I'm gonna be there and support you know,

415
00:22:55.640 --> 00:22:57.839
you know, you know, animal rights groups. I'm gonna be

416
00:22:57.839 --> 00:22:59.920
there and support you know, dogs and cats, re home

417
00:23:00.200 --> 00:23:02.400
organizations that are trying to help the homeless population, these

418
00:23:02.440 --> 00:23:04.559
animals that are being dumped and all this stuff. It

419
00:23:04.640 --> 00:23:06.759
has to be done. But there's a level of some

420
00:23:06.839 --> 00:23:08.920
of this other stuff that gets really really over our

421
00:23:09.000 --> 00:23:11.799
head as far as you know, how do we change it?

422
00:23:11.960 --> 00:23:13.880
And there's some things we can change, but I need

423
00:23:13.920 --> 00:23:15.920
you to only take as much bites as you can,

424
00:23:16.000 --> 00:23:18.599
because I think sometimes we get overloaded, and then when

425
00:23:18.599 --> 00:23:21.039
we get overloaded and we get browbeat, right, we can't

426
00:23:21.160 --> 00:23:23.599
process at all. And I know that some of you,

427
00:23:23.599 --> 00:23:25.720
you know, we're watching all these things on TV. We're

428
00:23:25.759 --> 00:23:28.680
seeing everything that's happening. We're watching these the war and

429
00:23:28.720 --> 00:23:30.359
the changes and the things that are happening in the

430
00:23:30.359 --> 00:23:34.200
White House and everything else, and we're trying to figure

431
00:23:34.200 --> 00:23:35.799
out We're looking at the economy, and we're looking at

432
00:23:35.799 --> 00:23:37.759
all this everything that's happening, and these files and this

433
00:23:37.839 --> 00:23:40.240
and that and everything is just piling up, and so

434
00:23:40.319 --> 00:23:41.839
I need you to step back and say, Hey, what

435
00:23:41.920 --> 00:23:44.400
can I what can I control? What am I willing

436
00:23:44.440 --> 00:23:46.519
to deal with? And how do I refocus some of

437
00:23:46.559 --> 00:23:51.200
this energy back on my life to create something in

438
00:23:51.240 --> 00:23:53.680
my life that can better society, that can better the world,

439
00:23:53.680 --> 00:23:56.559
that can better the people around me, that can better myself?

440
00:23:58.000 --> 00:24:01.440
How do I do that? And that's where I want

441
00:24:01.480 --> 00:24:05.640
you to sit with after listening to this podcast, I

442
00:24:05.640 --> 00:24:07.559
want you to think about that. What are some things

443
00:24:07.559 --> 00:24:09.039
that you want to do in your life that you've

444
00:24:09.039 --> 00:24:11.559
put on the back burner. What are some things that

445
00:24:11.599 --> 00:24:13.680
you want to do that's important to you that you

446
00:24:13.720 --> 00:24:18.119
think could be helpful. Are there parts of you, your personality,

447
00:24:18.200 --> 00:24:20.759
your direction, your dreams that you haven't really tapped into.

448
00:24:20.920 --> 00:24:25.119
What are those Let's figure that out, Start taking some notes,

449
00:24:25.160 --> 00:24:28.039
start journaling. You know, are there things from your childhood

450
00:24:28.079 --> 00:24:30.880
that you love to do, like photography or collecting, or

451
00:24:30.920 --> 00:24:34.039
doing these various things, or playing a sport or playing

452
00:24:34.079 --> 00:24:36.440
tennis or whatever it is that you need incorporate. And

453
00:24:36.480 --> 00:24:39.039
I know these things sound small, but there's a whole,

454
00:24:39.079 --> 00:24:41.680
well rounded individual that needs to be cultivated. We can't

455
00:24:41.720 --> 00:24:45.319
just focus on spirituality. One. We can't just focus on relationships,

456
00:24:45.400 --> 00:24:47.319
or we can't just focus on our career, or we

457
00:24:47.319 --> 00:24:49.079
can't just focus on our health. We got to focus

458
00:24:49.079 --> 00:24:50.960
on all these things that make us who we are.

459
00:24:51.200 --> 00:24:52.960
And that's what I want you to kind of deep

460
00:24:53.039 --> 00:24:59.519
dive into in a practical, realistic, positive manner that you

461
00:24:59.519 --> 00:25:01.680
can exe on a daily basis. And this is some

462
00:25:01.799 --> 00:25:03.960
very positive stuff you know that we're thinking of, and

463
00:25:04.000 --> 00:25:06.119
I want you to do that. I want you to

464
00:25:06.160 --> 00:25:08.640
really look around you and see the people in your life.

465
00:25:08.720 --> 00:25:11.519
And I'm not talking about judgment, just being honest with

466
00:25:11.599 --> 00:25:14.920
where they are in their life, the type of reality

467
00:25:14.960 --> 00:25:17.160
that they bring to the table, you know, the type

468
00:25:17.200 --> 00:25:19.920
of energy that they bring to you. Are they bringing

469
00:25:19.960 --> 00:25:21.720
the right energy to you? Is this the kind of

470
00:25:21.799 --> 00:25:24.720
energy that you want in your life? Is this what

471
00:25:24.799 --> 00:25:28.599
you want? Is this good for you? Is this healthy

472
00:25:28.839 --> 00:25:31.160
for you? And if there are people in your life

473
00:25:31.160 --> 00:25:33.839
that aren't healthy, think about it. I mean some of

474
00:25:33.920 --> 00:25:36.759
you might be married to people that are unhealthy. Some

475
00:25:36.799 --> 00:25:39.319
of you may be, uh, you know, your mom or

476
00:25:39.400 --> 00:25:42.559
dad could be very challenging and very negative or y

477
00:25:42.599 --> 00:25:44.359
this or that you need. We've got to figure out

478
00:25:44.440 --> 00:25:47.079
how to limit time around certain people. There might be

479
00:25:47.119 --> 00:25:51.000
some relationships that need to be augmented, changed or stopped.

480
00:25:52.240 --> 00:25:54.400
There might be some conversations and I know you might

481
00:25:54.400 --> 00:25:57.440
be you know, nauseated from so many trying to conversate

482
00:25:57.440 --> 00:25:59.599
with people telling them, But maybe there needs to be

483
00:25:59.640 --> 00:26:02.440
some things said, Hey, you know, I love you and

484
00:26:02.559 --> 00:26:04.279
care about you, but I'm not really gonna deal with

485
00:26:04.319 --> 00:26:06.440
this negativity anymore. I mean, you need to figure out

486
00:26:06.440 --> 00:26:09.279
your life and maybe look at yourself and understand the

487
00:26:09.359 --> 00:26:11.799
victim reality and see what you're bringing to the table,

488
00:26:13.000 --> 00:26:17.960
and have some hard, cold conversations because I do think

489
00:26:18.000 --> 00:26:20.039
that sometimes you have to say how you feel. You

490
00:26:20.079 --> 00:26:22.279
got to step back and recognize that some people are

491
00:26:22.279 --> 00:26:24.759
going to change because they want to and others are not.

492
00:26:25.519 --> 00:26:29.240
And as long as you know that, okay, you can

493
00:26:29.279 --> 00:26:31.640
make your changes. Maybe you know it's a family member

494
00:26:31.640 --> 00:26:34.119
that you need to step back from spend less time with.

495
00:26:34.519 --> 00:26:36.519
Maybe there's someone at the office that you need to

496
00:26:36.559 --> 00:26:38.359
spend less time with. Maybe there's someone you need to

497
00:26:38.400 --> 00:26:39.839
kind of you know, make a comment, say what you

498
00:26:39.880 --> 00:26:42.359
got to say, and kind of move on. You know,

499
00:26:42.400 --> 00:26:45.000
maybe there's a relationship right now that's really super early

500
00:26:45.119 --> 00:26:48.599
bringing you down and it's really creating havoc in your life,

501
00:26:48.599 --> 00:26:50.279
and you need to figure out what are you going

502
00:26:50.319 --> 00:26:53.440
to do to safeguard yourself? Do you have a plan?

503
00:26:53.799 --> 00:26:55.680
Are you ready to change that, are you ready to

504
00:26:55.720 --> 00:26:59.799
augment that relationship? What are you going to do? And

505
00:26:59.799 --> 00:27:01.519
then this is something that I want you to really

506
00:27:01.599 --> 00:27:04.359
focus on. I know it's a big picture concept, but

507
00:27:04.480 --> 00:27:06.920
this is how we make changes in our life to

508
00:27:07.000 --> 00:27:10.480
better our life. And also, when you start being aware

509
00:27:10.480 --> 00:27:12.519
of the people that are toxically positive or the people

510
00:27:12.559 --> 00:27:14.960
that are super negative in your life, you start realizing

511
00:27:14.960 --> 00:27:17.920
these patterns. You also start seeing their life and how

512
00:27:17.960 --> 00:27:21.440
they control or guilt people. And then you also realize

513
00:27:21.440 --> 00:27:24.400
where you stand with those people and also see you know,

514
00:27:24.720 --> 00:27:27.680
this isn't bringing happiness to me, this isn't bringing peace

515
00:27:27.720 --> 00:27:30.200
to me. A step back, how do we step back?

516
00:27:30.200 --> 00:27:32.640
And having some of these conversations with people before you

517
00:27:32.680 --> 00:27:35.480
step back is appropriate, just so they know where you're at.

518
00:27:35.519 --> 00:27:37.759
And then you can say, hey, I tried everything I could,

519
00:27:38.200 --> 00:27:40.599
I did what I needed to do, I turned over

520
00:27:40.680 --> 00:27:44.440
every rock. I'm feeling good about that. I didn't just

521
00:27:44.519 --> 00:27:47.559
leave them hanging not knowing what's happening. But at the

522
00:27:47.559 --> 00:27:49.200
same time, I had to be honest, and then I

523
00:27:49.279 --> 00:27:53.279
have to safeguard myself by having some distance here. And

524
00:27:53.359 --> 00:27:55.839
I think that would be a positive things. Right right up,

525
00:27:55.839 --> 00:27:57.119
a list of the people you might have to have

526
00:27:57.119 --> 00:27:59.680
a conversation with, think about how you want that conversation

527
00:27:59.720 --> 00:28:02.160
to go. Oh, as many times as you can do

528
00:28:02.200 --> 00:28:03.920
it in person is better. If you can't, you know,

529
00:28:03.960 --> 00:28:06.039
get on a phone call, get on a FaceTime. But

530
00:28:06.079 --> 00:28:09.240
remember you're the only reason you're having these conversations is

531
00:28:09.240 --> 00:28:12.119
you're trying to preserve the relationship. You're trying to keep

532
00:28:12.119 --> 00:28:14.519
the relationship. But you can't keep the relationship where it

533
00:28:14.559 --> 00:28:17.240
is right now because that's not healthy for you or

534
00:28:17.240 --> 00:28:19.599
feasible for you, And in all honesty, it's not really

535
00:28:19.640 --> 00:28:22.759
healthy for them either, because you're allowing them to do this,

536
00:28:22.839 --> 00:28:25.519
which is also creating havoc in their life. You're not

537
00:28:25.559 --> 00:28:29.240
saying anything about it. It's harming you, it's upsetting you.

538
00:28:29.240 --> 00:28:31.960
You're allowing them to sit and stew in this negativity

539
00:28:33.319 --> 00:28:35.759
or not dealing with their emotions with the toxic positivity,

540
00:28:35.759 --> 00:28:37.119
and so it's not really being right. So if you

541
00:28:37.119 --> 00:28:40.160
really care about somebody, you sometimes have to call this out.

542
00:28:41.200 --> 00:28:42.920
And I think it's the right thing to do, so

543
00:28:42.960 --> 00:28:47.440
think about that, marinate in that today, and I hope

544
00:28:47.440 --> 00:28:50.559
that you've enjoyed this podcast, and there'll be more podcasts

545
00:28:51.200 --> 00:28:55.000
every week here on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and anywhere

546
00:28:55.039 --> 00:28:59.319
that you listen to podcasts. Also check out YouTube. If

547
00:28:59.319 --> 00:29:02.359
you haven't already, please subscribe to my channel, Life Coach

548
00:29:02.400 --> 00:29:05.799
Ashley Burgess. We put up at least two new videos

549
00:29:05.839 --> 00:29:08.880
every week and we're getting closer. We almost have two

550
00:29:08.960 --> 00:29:12.480
hundred thousand subscribers, so please subscribe, share it with your

551
00:29:12.480 --> 00:29:14.880
friends and family. It helps you. It's all about everything

552
00:29:14.880 --> 00:29:19.920
from self awareness to borderline personality, to narcissistic trades, to

553
00:29:20.279 --> 00:29:23.960
finding happiness and healthy relationships, you know, working on your marriage,

554
00:29:24.000 --> 00:29:26.599
dealing with the roommate situation. So definitely check it out.

555
00:29:26.920 --> 00:29:29.519
Just go to YouTube and put in life Coach Ashley Burgess.

556
00:29:30.400 --> 00:29:32.519
Please share this podcast with other people that need to

557
00:29:32.559 --> 00:29:36.160
hear this. I appreciate you and I'll see you next

558
00:29:36.200 --> 00:29:38.319
time on the Ashley Burgess Podcast