Feb. 3, 2025

Are you in the Middle of a Quarter-Life Crisis? [Ep: 788]

Are you in the Middle of a Quarter-Life Crisis? [Ep: 788]

A quarter-life crisis typically occurs in your 20s or 30s, bringing feelings of uncertainty and questioning the path your life is taking. This crisis affects a lot of people. Many factors go into why people have this crisis in their lives. It’s a...

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Apple Podcasts podcast player iconSpotify podcast player iconRSS Feed podcast player icon

A quarter-life crisis typically occurs in your 20s or 30s, bringing feelings of uncertainty and questioning the path your life is taking. This crisis affects a lot of people. Many factors go into why people have this crisis in their lives. It’s a common experience influenced by various factors, with comparison being significant. Many young adults find themselves measuring their progress against others, often leading to feelings of inadequacy or incompleteness. Today, we’re joined by Erica Connor our resident specialist, on quarter-life crises, mid-life crises, and the challenges of growing adults who struggle to gain independence from their parents. Together, Erica and I will explore the concept of a quarter-life crisis, how to better understand it, and ways to create positive change, whether for yourself or to help your kids to avoid its pitfalls. You can schedule a session with Ericka, myself, and our other therapists at https://www.ashleyberges.com/.



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WEBVTT

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You're in a good place now. You are listening to

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Perspectives with Ashley Burgess.

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Welcome back to Liverer True Life Perspectives, and I'm your host,

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Ashley Burgess. On today's show, we're going to be talking

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about quarter life crises and this affects many people, and

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I don't believe that it's talked about enough. I don't

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believe that we've brought up the subject enough. I don't

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think we've examined the subject enough, and I don't think

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we know enough about it. And so Eric O'Connor, our

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resonant specialist when it comes to this specific topic and

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other topics very similar, is going to be really kind

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of giving us a lot of information and knowledge about

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how we can really understand this, absorb that knowledge and

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make some changes to our lives or for air to

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help our kids as well.

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Erica, great to have you here Live on Liver True

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Life Perspectives. How are you doing.

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I'm doing great. Thanks so much for having me. I

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really appreciate it. You know, I think quarter life crisis

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is a really important topic that we should be talking

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about with our young people before that hit that milestone.

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I mean, I think we all know people who've kind

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of they go to college because everybody tells them, you

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need to go to college, everybody needs an education, and

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they kind of just grind, grind, grind, and then you

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hit this, you know, point in your life where college

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is behind you, you have a job, and you kind

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of think to yourself, like what's next. Because I think

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the motivator for such a long time in a young

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person's life is like you kind of just have to

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get to that. You got to go to college, you

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got to get to that point where you're working and

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supporting yourself, and then I think we just forget, like

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where's our joy? Where do we feel fulfilled?

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Very very important, and I could I could really relate

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because I remember growing up, I've had multiple these quarter

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life crises. I think my first one was in high school.

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Actually I know it was. You know, I was debating

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nationally on the national circuit, and I remember toward the

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end of my senior year, I was kind of having

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what I would consider a midlife crisis. And it's because

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you start questioning your reality and you start wondering, why

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did I do all.

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This, Why did I do all this work?

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Whose dream was it?

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Exactly?

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I mean that's a reality. I think so often, like

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you know, parents and I'm a parent, we put a

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lot of emphasis on the successes of our children, so

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we drive them like you know, I know everybody has

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a friend who's got a kid who's doing this, the volleyball,

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the track, the you know, the debate team, and I

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think parents kind of make that their identity. So children

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are afraid to kind of let go of it because

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I think they feel they're going letting go of their

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parents' dream. So sometimes we spend all this time pursuing

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a dream that really isn't our own. And so where

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where does that leave you? Right?

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Well?

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And then also a social media plays a huge part

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in this too, because I think also we have this

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tendency and I really want to deep dive in this

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as well. Is comparison comparing our lives to other people

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that are similar ages, comparing based on social media, you know,

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whether it's Instagram or Snapchat or Facebook or TikTok and

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all this stuff. You look at other people's lives and

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you go, my god, like somebody's married, for example, Like okay,

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if you look at the quarter life crisis and there

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you are at thirty something you're you know, are female,

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thirty three years old, and all your girlfriends have gotten married,

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every single one of us married.

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You're not.

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You don't even have You're not even in a like

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a deep relationship. And it's like, oh my god, what's

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happening around me? Why is everybody married? And I actually

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have clients that are in their late twenties and they're

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upset because they've been to so many weddings, men and women.

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They're like, when is it going to happen for me?

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What's wrong with me? Am I going to be single

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for the rest of my life?

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Okay? But you know what I always ask my clients

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is like is that important to you? Because I think

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sometimes we make these comparisons and the idea of whatever

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we're comparing ourself to isn't even important to us, Like

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maybe a relationship isn't what's a priority in their life?

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Right then? Right, they're questioning, like why am I not married? Well,

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maybe you should ask yourself do you want to get married?

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Do you want to spend time with another individual instead

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of spending time what you're focusing on now? Like a

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lot of young people are working towards their career. You know,

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you don't have a lot of time to date and

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go out and kind of, you know, make it happen

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for yourselves, because that's maybe not so important at that moment.

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So I think comparisons can be really dangerous because we

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are only looking through the lens of what the other

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individuals want us to see, right, and what's important to them.

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Maybe that's not important to you. So I think we

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just have to kind of remind ourselves that what we

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see on a camera or you know, on Instagram or Facebook,

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that's what's important to those individuals. But is that important

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to you? And maybe it is. Maybe it is important

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to you. Maybe that's an area of your life that

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you need to shift and pivot and put a little

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more energy into. Do you want to get married, do

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you want to have a relationship? Like, how can you

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change your life to make that happen for yourself?

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That's that's a very good point.

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I find that also those society, not only just the friends,

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but society kind of in general also pushes that. Don't

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you feel like, oh, you should have a kid by

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this time, Oh, or you should be this talented by

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this time, or you should have this much money by

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this time? And I think that that is also encroaching

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on what do I really want? You know, who am I?

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And I think that's a big deal. And I think

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also too, there's so many people that are automatically find

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that they're behind like the eight ball, you know, Like

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I'm trying to think of the guy that started like KFC, right, Like,

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he didn't become like I guess successful till he was

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in his sixties, and he tried so many different business

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couldn't pull it off, couldn't make money, couldn't do this,

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and then eventually in his sixties he became this multi millionaire.

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But it was, like he said that he was always

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feeling like he was behind the eight ball, but he

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was really working hard, steadily knowing he could get it done.

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But I think somebodys that really beats people down because

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they're like, you know, especially with the crypto and everything

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else going on, and you have these crypto millionaires and

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all these people, and you're like, but what's happening for me?

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Why haven't I figured out my direction? Why haven't I

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decided you know, where am I in history? And I

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think that's a question too.

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That is a great point when you talk about the

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gentleman with KFC. I think too we have to remember,

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like do you have the means? Do you have the

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means to get where you want to go? Right? We

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have young people that they are encouraged, Oh, everybody, everyone's

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got to go to college. Everyone has to you know,

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get this amazing job at the end of the rainbow, right,

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Like how many young people don't have the discipline maybe

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to go to college, the funds to go to college,

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or just the ability to make those choices and make

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that happen for themselves. Like sometimes we just need life skills,

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right to get where we want to go. Okay, you

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can be a crypto millionaire, but what are your skills? Like,

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how are you going to get there? I think sometimes

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we need a roadmap for getting to those places, like

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they may not be realistic for everyone, but if that

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really is like your true dream, you just need the

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right skills maybe to get there and on your own

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timeline too. I think that's important when you talk about

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how he wasn't very successful until the sixties, Like why

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do we let culture dictate what our timeline is for achievements?

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Right?

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Exactly, this isn't your time.

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Well, it was interesting, it's interesting you brought that up.

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I was in a session recently, This was earlier this week,

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and you know, my client and I were talking. He's,

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you know, he's in his early thirties, you know, about

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thirty four. I consider that early thirties. And you know,

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he was like, you know, I still don't have children.

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You know, he's been dating somebody for about a year.

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She's younger, and he's like, but if I wait till

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I have kids, so on forty, I mean, what's gonna happen.

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I'm going to be an old man. I was like, well, one,

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you're you're far from being an old man too. I said,

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you know, it's interesting. Have you ever just stepped back

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and looked at things from a different perspective. I said,

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your parents had you at a young age for a reason.

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Now look at how your grandparents had your parents and

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a young age. I said, there was a time period

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where people didn't live very long. Okay, there was a

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time period where twenty two was old. I mean, you

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know you're going to die soon. I mean even if

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you if you had like a tooth issue and your

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tooth got infected, you could die in the next ten days.

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I mean, that's how bad our medical industry was and

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everything back in the day.

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It's the urgency. Maybe that's not his timeline.

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And I said, what if you had kids later?

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And I said, you know what, sometimes having these experiences

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later in life, you have time to enjoy this relationship,

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You have time to experience this, You have time to

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put some of the hours into what you're doing for

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and then you get to jump on another thing and

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try out, Okay.

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Oh we got kids.

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Wow, it's cool because one of the things I found

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is that people jump in real quick and they don't

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get to know who they are. They don't get to

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know who the other person is. We're already having kids. Boom,

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here we go, and then you kind of go who

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are you? And then there's not that like there's not

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that graduation into things. But I said, what if you

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step back and say, hey, what if nobody else's timeline

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matter to me? What if it doesn't matter? What if

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this is all bs, What if this is all some

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sort of kind of like smoking mirrors to just kind

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of take me down, make me feel bad. What if

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I was to create my own roadmap? And I think

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that's what you do so well is help people figure out, Hey,

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you don't have to listen to all this. Let's look

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at what's your map look like, what's your unique like

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where are you going?

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What do you want? And then how do you find that?

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Like how do you help people really figure that out

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if they don't really know what they want?

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I mean, I think you just have to look at

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examine people's values and what they find important, like what

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is important to you? And I think that's where we

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kind of can take a deep dive with clients and

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just kind of examine, like what do they really feel

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as important to their life, because I think so often

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we're living these lives for other people or for things

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that really aren't that important to us. I mean, I

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think it's so classic, like it reminds me. You know,

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when I was young, and I was before I was married,

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I didn't have a lot of means, right, Like I

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just kids that went to college or got an education

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or went away. They came from family of means, and

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my family didn't have that many means. So I felt

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like when I was married, or maybe when my career

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took off and I had money, I would just shop

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all the time, just shop, shop, shop, right, Like I

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have money I want this. I want that. I could

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never have these things when I was younger, and I

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think I kind of came to a place that's not

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really important to me. Like it was important to me

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when I was young because I couldn't have it, but

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then once I had it, it just didn't really have

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a lot of meaning to me. And I think as

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I've gotten older, what I find important is time. And

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I wonder if, like your client who was thinking about

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having kids at forty and kind of afraid of like, oh,

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I'm going to be so old, you know what you

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have when you get older that maybe you don't have

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as a young person in your career, and that's the

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ability to like flex your time and have time with

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people and want to spend your time in like really

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productive ways. So you just have to find out what's

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important to you and you know from there you can

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kind of make more achievable goals, both short and long term.

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And I think that's where you help people figure out

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what they really want, right.

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I agree, Well, when we're returned Eric Coravey Deep Dobby

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more in a quarter life crisis, how to understand it,

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how to kind of map it and figure out your

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direction and stay tuned Live your True Life Perspectives with

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your host me Ashley Burgers.

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Will be back in you know it.

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I'll be back this time and two shakes.

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Turn it up and jump in the deep end on Perspectives.

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Now here's Ashley.

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Welcome back live to look your two live perspectives and

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I'm your host Ashley Burgess. On today's show, Erica has

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joined me. We're talking about quarter life crisis and understanding

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the self questioning, understanding the soul searching that's involved in

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this situation. And it's really important to really analyze this

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because a lot of people are going through this, but

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they don't actually know what they're going through. They just

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sit there and say, I don't like anything that's happening.

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I'm questioning everything in my life. I'm looking around. I

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don't have any answers. I have more questions than answers,

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and I'm getting frustrated. Right before the break, we were

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talking Erica about like kind of just figuring out how

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do we figure out a roadmap, how do we begin

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to start I guess basically filling in the blanks of

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what do we really want separate from what everybody else

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is doing.

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I mean, I would reckon men, probably to my clients,

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just to step back and maybe take stock of what

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you have in your life, like what is positive, what

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brings you joy. I think that can be really difficult

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for people, particularly people who are married, because I sometimes

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think maybe their relationship is not bringing them joy, and

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that can be a difficult obstacle to confront or overcome.

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I think the first step is really just kind of

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finding your joy. Where do you feel purpose in your life?

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And if you don't feel purpose in any area of

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your life, then I think it's time to start thinking

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about what interests you, Where do you feel you could

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bring value or what would bring value to your life.

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I think it's really just kind of taking inventory would

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be the first step, wouldn't you agree?

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I agree with you taking inventory, and I think what

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you brought up was very interesting. When people are married,

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I think that sometimes the relationship could be good, it

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could be okay, it could be not so good, it

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could be healthy unhealthy, but sometimes you can't even see

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the forest through the trees because you're too busy wondering

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what they want or and so you're right, it's you

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kind of got to take it, like put them in

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a vacuum and and really your client and really think

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about okay, really looking at what do you want, Separate

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from everybody else, Separate from your spouse, you know, separate

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like like, don't think about your goals and stuff just

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based on that person, because I think you have to

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also step out from that a little bit to understand.

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And that's where I feel it's so hard, and there's

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like that gray area is that it's really hard to

301
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just kind of separate and just say what was it?

302
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Not not what do they want? But what is it

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that I really want to chew?

304
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Because nobody's gonna give you And this is one of

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my biggest quotes, nobody's gonna give you a medal of

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honor when you die for doing nothing, nothing you wanted

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to do.

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I mean like nobody's gonna be like, oh hey goes great.

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You know you you know, you sacrificed everything for everybody

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and you get this medal, and you're not gonna be like, oh,

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thanks for the metal.

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You're gonna be like this sucks. You know.

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Nobody's even if you got the medal, you're not gonna

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be like oh great, you know, I mean, what do

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we do?

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Then?

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That's that's the big question.

318
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You know what you bring it good. That's a great concept.

319
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I think you want to ask yourself, like who and

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what are your influences? Who's influencing you? Because maybe it's

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not your spouse. Maybe it's your girlfriends that are unhappy

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in their marriage and they're talking you into thinking you're

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unhappy in your relationship. I know we've all had a

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friend like that. Maybe you find yourself scrolling on social

325
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media too much. Maybe TikTok and Instagram and all those

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social pages are influencing you. I think that's a a

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big factor. You got to find out, like what are

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the influences in your life? Because I think maybe once

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you make that right, then you're doing things that bring

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you joy. Right, Because when you say you don't get

331
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a metal for doing what everybody else or sacrificing your

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life with the needs of others or the wants of others,

333
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I think your influences have a big factor in how

334
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you live your life.

335
00:14:48.320 --> 00:14:51.240
Right, That's very true, Like who's influence you? Maybe right now,

336
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you know everybody that's listening or watching this video or

337
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listening to the podcast or listening on the radio.

338
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You know, it's like who is influencing me.

339
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And really think about it. Writing down those just stick

340
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it in your head. I mean, it's like having a

341
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grocery list. I mean it's hard enough to even get

342
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groceries that you need and remember everything without writing it down.

343
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These are kind of deep concepts, So write it down.

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Who is influencing me, you know, and why are they

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influencing me?

346
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And what's the impact that they have? Well, man, this

347
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could be family.

348
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What are they gaining too?

349
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Exactly?

350
00:15:17.360 --> 00:15:19.799
Because we always talk about boundaries, you know, like only

351
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people that benefit from your lack of boundaries, it's others exactly.

352
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It's other people. They get unhappy when you have boundaries.

353
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But I think it's important to understand who our influences are.

354
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Like I know a lot of people like you know,

355
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if you're spiritual, right, you feel like you're kind of

356
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driven by like what your faith pushes you towards, Like

357
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is that important to you? Do you want to live

358
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more in that light? Right? That could be something that

359
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you could explore. But I think we have to kind

360
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of know who our influences are when we step back.

361
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I agree, who's influencing you? What do they need?

362
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But more so it's like because I think sometimes we

363
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also confuse that, you know, if if someone is like

364
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kind of the squeak of your wheel. And I had

365
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a conversation right before, right before the show, I had

366
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a conversation with somebody on the phone and I said,

367
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you know, I said, my hesitation is the fact that

368
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your emotions are always there and you're always expressing those emotions,

369
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which is good, but you don't leave room for other

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people to express their emotions. And if somebody is not

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really expressing their emotions and they're not really expressive that much,

372
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then that person is shut down. And so all we're

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doing is we're just mapping, based on your emotions, your

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feelings at the time, how you feel. And I said,

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and that gets really challenging. And I said, you know,

376
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for people, I'm not a very I'm in touch with

377
00:16:33.200 --> 00:16:35.720
my emotions. Okay, it's not like I'm not in touch,

378
00:16:35.919 --> 00:16:37.519
but my emotions don't run me.

379
00:16:37.799 --> 00:16:41.440
Okay, because you have regulation right and emotional regulation right.

380
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But there's other people that their emotions do run them,

381
00:16:44.000 --> 00:16:46.879
and so when you're trying to participate or be there,

382
00:16:47.440 --> 00:16:49.879
it seems like their emotions always take front seat.

383
00:16:50.159 --> 00:16:50.440
Okay.

384
00:16:50.480 --> 00:16:53.120
I love that concept because it kind of makes me

385
00:16:53.200 --> 00:16:56.480
think about a client I had who was afraid to

386
00:16:56.480 --> 00:16:57.600
take like a bold step.

387
00:16:57.679 --> 00:16:57.879
Right.

388
00:16:58.039 --> 00:17:00.559
She wanted to separate from her spouse house, and they

389
00:17:00.600 --> 00:17:04.200
lived in a pretty affluent area, and she felt she

390
00:17:04.319 --> 00:17:08.440
could not move forward to leave her husband and kind

391
00:17:08.440 --> 00:17:10.920
of explore other areas of her life because she was

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too consumed with what her friends and community people would

393
00:17:15.240 --> 00:17:18.240
think of her. Right, So she was using that as

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like an emotional crutch, so to speak, not to leave.

395
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And I feel like, sometimes we really need to think

396
00:17:23.480 --> 00:17:26.599
about what you said about, like not letting your emotions

397
00:17:26.680 --> 00:17:28.880
kind of dictate the decisions that you make or the

398
00:17:28.960 --> 00:17:32.319
choices that you make. Put that to the side, because

399
00:17:32.319 --> 00:17:35.000
that's valid, right, We have to experience those feelings, but

400
00:17:35.079 --> 00:17:38.160
you can't let the desires and the thoughts and the

401
00:17:38.400 --> 00:17:42.400
opinions of others drive how you react or the decisions

402
00:17:42.400 --> 00:17:43.599
that you make in your life. And I think it

403
00:17:43.640 --> 00:17:46.519
can be very emotional oftentimes when you're making these bold steps,

404
00:17:47.000 --> 00:17:49.039
but you have to kind of step back, right, like,

405
00:17:49.119 --> 00:17:50.960
how is this going to benefit me in the long run?

406
00:17:51.039 --> 00:17:53.880
And what do those influences, how do they fit in

407
00:17:53.920 --> 00:17:55.880
my picture, you know, looking down the road.

408
00:17:56.319 --> 00:17:57.599
And these are some deep thoughts.

409
00:17:57.640 --> 00:17:59.319
You know, it's not something that you just do for

410
00:17:59.319 --> 00:18:02.039
five minutes when you're in the drive through it, you know, Starbucks,

411
00:18:02.039 --> 00:18:03.920
it's just like something you got to go, you know,

412
00:18:04.039 --> 00:18:06.240
really like deep dive in that, because I do.

413
00:18:06.319 --> 00:18:06.880
I agree with you.

414
00:18:06.920 --> 00:18:09.400
I think people get so lost, and I think it's

415
00:18:09.480 --> 00:18:11.559
easy to get lost because also it's easier to sit

416
00:18:11.599 --> 00:18:13.720
there and dictate your life based on, well, I have

417
00:18:13.799 --> 00:18:16.200
to take care of that, or I have this responsibility

418
00:18:16.440 --> 00:18:18.920
expect you married to that, or I have my my

419
00:18:18.960 --> 00:18:21.359
mother is having you know, health issues, and so I

420
00:18:21.400 --> 00:18:22.559
have to participate in that.

421
00:18:22.640 --> 00:18:24.519
I can't do this, I can't do that, I have

422
00:18:24.599 --> 00:18:25.480
to do this and so.

423
00:18:26.000 --> 00:18:29.319
And I think also though sometimes that takes the responsibility

424
00:18:29.960 --> 00:18:33.079
off of us from making decisions. But then later on

425
00:18:33.119 --> 00:18:35.640
down the road there's crunch time, so it's like, you know,

426
00:18:35.680 --> 00:18:39.680
that's when you really here's your crutch, right as exactly,

427
00:18:40.200 --> 00:18:41.599
I got to do this for them, you.

428
00:18:41.559 --> 00:18:45.039
Know, exactly exactly, And we make our excuses like the

429
00:18:45.160 --> 00:18:47.519
inability to do things, like you said, it is based

430
00:18:47.559 --> 00:18:50.960
on like the expectations of others and like the responsibilities

431
00:18:50.960 --> 00:18:53.440
of others. But sometimes we have to, like there comes

432
00:18:53.440 --> 00:18:54.720
a point in your life where you really have to

433
00:18:54.720 --> 00:18:59.559
prioritize yourself and like find what you love, what brings

434
00:18:59.599 --> 00:19:02.119
you joy, and you know, what serves you, right, Like,

435
00:19:02.200 --> 00:19:05.720
you can't always be serving others. That really doesn't work

436
00:19:05.759 --> 00:19:08.079
in real time, right, And I'm not saying that like

437
00:19:08.119 --> 00:19:10.960
you should be this completely selfish individual and only do

438
00:19:11.039 --> 00:19:13.799
what makes you happy. But I just mean, like, you know,

439
00:19:14.119 --> 00:19:15.759
when you get to the end of your life, most

440
00:19:15.759 --> 00:19:18.200
people really just think about the things they didn't do,

441
00:19:18.480 --> 00:19:21.839
the challenges that they you know, didn't accept or maybe

442
00:19:21.920 --> 00:19:24.359
kind of those bold decisions.

443
00:19:25.319 --> 00:19:28.799
Yeah, it gives me the heavy g I mean seriously,

444
00:19:28.839 --> 00:19:31.759
because you're right, you get to that point where we've

445
00:19:31.880 --> 00:19:35.519
used all the crutches, you know, we've pushed the responsibility out,

446
00:19:36.000 --> 00:19:37.599
you know, and then you kind of go, wait a second,

447
00:19:37.680 --> 00:19:39.680
because it gets worse. And I've realized that because I've

448
00:19:39.680 --> 00:19:41.319
done it, I think we've all done it. Oh yeah,

449
00:19:41.559 --> 00:19:42.359
you know, we've all done it.

450
00:19:42.359 --> 00:19:45.000
We've all been in relationships way too long. You knew

451
00:19:45.000 --> 00:19:48.640
you should have dipped out right because you were scared.

452
00:19:48.839 --> 00:19:50.839
I mean I can remember being in my early twenties

453
00:19:50.839 --> 00:19:53.599
and like, continue your relationship with somebody that I really

454
00:19:53.640 --> 00:19:56.200
did not like. But I really loved all of his friends.

455
00:19:56.400 --> 00:19:59.680
Oh and I really liked his family, and I felt like, gosh,

456
00:19:59.720 --> 00:20:02.160
I just put up with this because I really still

457
00:20:02.200 --> 00:20:03.720
want to be part of this group and I want

458
00:20:03.720 --> 00:20:05.480
to be with these people. But you know what, in

459
00:20:05.519 --> 00:20:08.279
the long run, it wasn't I mean, it wasn't gonna last.

460
00:20:08.319 --> 00:20:11.319
And so it was just kind of delaying the pain

461
00:20:11.480 --> 00:20:13.839
or the heart of the loneliness. But you got to

462
00:20:13.880 --> 00:20:16.599
make some bold decisions to get bold results, right, You

463
00:20:16.680 --> 00:20:19.319
gotta just kind of rip that band aid off sometimes.

464
00:20:20.000 --> 00:20:23.200
Yeah, I mean I agree with you, and I understand completely,

465
00:20:23.319 --> 00:20:25.079
and I think everybody out there listening know what's it's

466
00:20:25.119 --> 00:20:27.240
like thinking about that. I mean, everybody has a band

467
00:20:27.279 --> 00:20:30.440
aid on. Everybody's holding on, everybody's waiting, everybody's trying to

468
00:20:30.480 --> 00:20:32.559
be the wooss on what they need to do on this.

469
00:20:32.720 --> 00:20:34.640
And so where is it? What is it in the

470
00:20:34.680 --> 00:20:36.720
direction that you're kind of woosing out on? Is it

471
00:20:37.119 --> 00:20:39.240
you know your direction and where you want to go

472
00:20:39.279 --> 00:20:41.519
in life as far as you know your work?

473
00:20:41.599 --> 00:20:42.359
Or is it you know?

474
00:20:42.480 --> 00:20:44.839
Is it is a career? Is it family? Is it

475
00:20:44.880 --> 00:20:48.400
having children? Is it meeting somebody? Is it whatever that is?

476
00:20:48.960 --> 00:20:50.440
And figuring that out, and I think we've had Like

477
00:20:50.480 --> 00:20:53.000
it's interesting because we've had this revival and I don't know,

478
00:20:53.319 --> 00:20:55.119
you know, back because of the last few years. And

479
00:20:55.119 --> 00:20:56.680
I don't I don't want to say the C word,

480
00:20:57.519 --> 00:21:00.200
COVID word, but anyway, you know, it's like all these

481
00:21:00.240 --> 00:21:02.240
people decided, I'm gonna, you know, take this van and

482
00:21:02.240 --> 00:21:04.279
I'm gonna I'm gonna change this van out and I'm

483
00:21:04.279 --> 00:21:06.559
gonna drive around the world and I'm gonna drive all

484
00:21:06.559 --> 00:21:06.880
over it.

485
00:21:07.240 --> 00:21:09.000
Don't you kind of secretly wish you could do that?

486
00:21:09.200 --> 00:21:10.279
Yeah?

487
00:21:10.440 --> 00:21:10.720
I do.

488
00:21:11.200 --> 00:21:13.359
I got friends that did it that. I mean, I

489
00:21:13.359 --> 00:21:14.640
got friends that are still doing it.

490
00:21:14.759 --> 00:21:17.200
Listen, I would do that in a minute. And I

491
00:21:17.240 --> 00:21:19.920
don't know, like there's my band aid that holds me back, right,

492
00:21:20.000 --> 00:21:21.519
Like I feel like I can't let go of all

493
00:21:21.559 --> 00:21:23.799
these things in my life. Like I love my car,

494
00:21:25.319 --> 00:21:27.960
but I think too, Like listen, I love kind of

495
00:21:27.960 --> 00:21:32.720
that first that starter career, Like I love that mentality.

496
00:21:32.759 --> 00:21:34.599
That seems to be a phrase I see a lot lately,

497
00:21:34.759 --> 00:21:37.240
is where you know what kids go to school, young

498
00:21:37.240 --> 00:21:39.279
people go to school. You have this career and then

499
00:21:39.400 --> 00:21:41.400
you kind of get three years into it and you're like,

500
00:21:41.680 --> 00:21:45.720
oh my god, what have I done? I cannot. I'm

501
00:21:45.759 --> 00:21:48.920
over here killing myself in Microsoft Excel, right, Like that's

502
00:21:48.960 --> 00:21:51.319
not really where I find joy. But they're scared. They're

503
00:21:51.359 --> 00:21:53.640
so scared to go back and try something different because

504
00:21:53.680 --> 00:21:57.079
I think, you know, do I have the means? Can

505
00:21:57.119 --> 00:22:00.160
I support myself? What will people think? My parents wait

506
00:22:00.200 --> 00:22:03.319
for my education? You know? My wife depends on my income.

507
00:22:03.440 --> 00:22:06.279
Like that's a scary time in your life too, you know,

508
00:22:06.440 --> 00:22:09.440
And I think it kind of comes up quarter life crisis,

509
00:22:09.839 --> 00:22:13.160
mid life crisis, Like, you know, I just think, like

510
00:22:13.880 --> 00:22:16.160
you don't really know what you're capable of until you try.

511
00:22:16.799 --> 00:22:17.720
You don't, You don't.

512
00:22:17.720 --> 00:22:19.279
And we're gonna we're gonna talk more about that when

513
00:22:19.279 --> 00:22:21.279
we return, because we really don't know what we're capable

514
00:22:21.279 --> 00:22:23.599
and we're gonna deep dive with that with Erica here.

515
00:22:23.519 --> 00:22:24.079
In just a minute.

516
00:22:24.079 --> 00:22:26.160
So stay tuned liber True Life Perspectives with your host

517
00:22:26.240 --> 00:22:28.680
medi Astley Burgers will be back in I'll be back.

518
00:22:28.559 --> 00:22:29.400
This time, you know it.

519
00:22:29.440 --> 00:22:35.920
I'll be back this time in two shakes.

520
00:22:46.960 --> 00:22:50.039
This is Jake Busey and you're listening to Perspectives with

521
00:22:50.160 --> 00:22:51.200
Ashley Burgess.

522
00:22:53.599 --> 00:22:55.640
Welcome back live to liver a true life perspectives. And

523
00:22:55.680 --> 00:22:59.079
I'm your host Ashley Burgess. Erica's joining me today in studio,

524
00:22:59.119 --> 00:23:01.279
and we've been talking about quarterway prices and this is

525
00:23:01.279 --> 00:23:03.359
affecting a lot of people. And right before the break,

526
00:23:03.359 --> 00:23:06.799
we were talking about, you know, we have these responsibilities,

527
00:23:06.880 --> 00:23:09.400
we feel tethered, we don't know exactly what to do,

528
00:23:09.720 --> 00:23:12.240
you know, pulling off that band aid and you know,

529
00:23:12.519 --> 00:23:14.400
let's deep dive into that more because I think that

530
00:23:14.440 --> 00:23:16.440
a lot of times when people are in this situation,

531
00:23:17.000 --> 00:23:19.039
it's like when you get into something that's really hard

532
00:23:19.039 --> 00:23:21.599
to understand in your life, Like you kind of see

533
00:23:21.599 --> 00:23:24.000
it and you start walking down the mental pathway of

534
00:23:24.039 --> 00:23:26.240
getting there, and then you kind of have like this

535
00:23:26.359 --> 00:23:28.319
fog thing and then you're like, yeah, I'm just gonna

536
00:23:28.319 --> 00:23:30.400
go get some neat, Like I'm not going to focus

537
00:23:30.480 --> 00:23:33.240
on this anymore. I'm just gonna let that go. You know,

538
00:23:33.359 --> 00:23:36.000
how do you kind of move past that fear factor?

539
00:23:36.960 --> 00:23:40.440
Maybe it's not even conscious, maybe it's like a subconscious deal.

540
00:23:40.480 --> 00:23:42.720
How do you move past that to start investigating because

541
00:23:42.720 --> 00:23:45.200
I think people kick this down the road, kicking and

542
00:23:45.279 --> 00:23:47.240
kicking this can down the road for quite a bit

543
00:23:47.279 --> 00:23:49.279
of time. And this and you know, a quarter life

544
00:23:49.319 --> 00:23:51.960
crisis could turn into a midlife crisis based on how

545
00:23:52.000 --> 00:23:53.119
long you wait on something.

546
00:23:53.200 --> 00:23:56.359
I mean, that's a great point, you know. I think

547
00:23:56.359 --> 00:23:59.440
it's like not to sell our profession further, but I

548
00:23:59.480 --> 00:24:03.119
think like therapist or coaching, I think that can be

549
00:24:03.160 --> 00:24:05.640
a great a tremendous sense of support when you're doing

550
00:24:05.680 --> 00:24:10.240
something bold and different and maybe with some difficulty, like

551
00:24:10.400 --> 00:24:13.400
just having kind of that coach in your corner, right,

552
00:24:13.519 --> 00:24:15.559
like somebody who's going to help push you down the

553
00:24:15.599 --> 00:24:17.920
road a little bit to get closer to that goal.

554
00:24:18.039 --> 00:24:20.359
But I don't know. I think you have to have

555
00:24:20.480 --> 00:24:23.960
just wins every day, right, Like whether it's a spiritual win,

556
00:24:24.920 --> 00:24:28.519
like a physical win. Maybe you maybe if you work

557
00:24:28.559 --> 00:24:30.160
out once a day kind of gets you to a

558
00:24:30.200 --> 00:24:33.200
better place mentally. Maybe if you pray a little bit

559
00:24:33.200 --> 00:24:36.279
every day, maybe if you do something that gets you

560
00:24:36.279 --> 00:24:38.799
a little bit closer to your career goals, like research

561
00:24:38.960 --> 00:24:41.079
or reading or listening to a podcast kind of in

562
00:24:41.119 --> 00:24:42.799
that direction. I think you have to have a little

563
00:24:42.839 --> 00:24:44.400
bit of a win though, every day to kind of

564
00:24:44.440 --> 00:24:47.480
get to that place. Maybe it takes you five years,

565
00:24:48.000 --> 00:24:50.039
maybe it takes you five months. But I think if

566
00:24:50.079 --> 00:24:52.799
you're kind of working and you have a good support

567
00:24:53.000 --> 00:24:55.279
system or some framework to get there. I think you

568
00:24:55.319 --> 00:24:57.799
can get there. I think everybody has the ability to

569
00:24:57.799 --> 00:24:58.200
get there.

570
00:24:58.480 --> 00:25:00.640
So let's talk about the few wins.

571
00:25:00.680 --> 00:25:03.559
And this is something I've been working on too, uh

572
00:25:03.599 --> 00:25:07.119
in my life recently. Is for example, Okay, I I

573
00:25:07.720 --> 00:25:09.359
try to work out every single day. I try to

574
00:25:09.400 --> 00:25:11.000
run about six or seven miles a day.

575
00:25:11.400 --> 00:25:11.480
Uh.

576
00:25:11.519 --> 00:25:13.279
I do it indoors, so I don't screwt my knees

577
00:25:14.240 --> 00:25:15.880
and my legs and all this stuff, because you know,

578
00:25:16.079 --> 00:25:18.559
it's a stupid like uneven ground and everything. You could

579
00:25:18.559 --> 00:25:20.640
be out for like six weeks with some bad injury,

580
00:25:20.680 --> 00:25:21.720
you know, and then you can't.

581
00:25:21.519 --> 00:25:22.160
Work out at all.

582
00:25:22.839 --> 00:25:24.640
And so I'm on the olliptical and I you know,

583
00:25:24.920 --> 00:25:27.160
most of the time, my brand of doing something is,

584
00:25:27.240 --> 00:25:29.079
let you know, listening to music. And the other day

585
00:25:29.079 --> 00:25:30.279
it kind of just hit me. And I've had it

586
00:25:30.359 --> 00:25:31.839
kind of come back and forth, back and forth. But

587
00:25:32.119 --> 00:25:34.079
I'm like, you know what I'm not. I'm gonna listen,

588
00:25:34.079 --> 00:25:36.200
I'm gonna watch the podcast, I'm gonna listen to this video.

589
00:25:36.240 --> 00:25:39.200
I'm gonna I'm gonna go into something that really interests

590
00:25:39.279 --> 00:25:41.920
me separately, something that I really want to, you know,

591
00:25:42.079 --> 00:25:44.319
educate myself on and that's something that I've been doing.

592
00:25:44.400 --> 00:25:46.920
So instead of listening to the music that I've listened

593
00:25:46.920 --> 00:25:49.400
to over and over again, I'm starting to add that

594
00:25:49.440 --> 00:25:52.240
into my life, you know. Uh, I'm also starting to

595
00:25:52.240 --> 00:25:54.519
think about things like in a bigger level. Like you know,

596
00:25:54.920 --> 00:25:56.799
for many of you, like me, you sit at your

597
00:25:56.799 --> 00:26:01.000
desk hour after hour, day after day. Uh, and sometimes

598
00:26:01.079 --> 00:26:03.759
you lose sight of kind of the timeline. And so

599
00:26:03.839 --> 00:26:05.480
I've been trying to just figure out, like, what's a

600
00:26:05.519 --> 00:26:07.279
small thing that I can do that I can feel

601
00:26:07.319 --> 00:26:10.640
more empowered. What's something that I can learn that might

602
00:26:10.720 --> 00:26:14.799
also give me a different trajectory? You know, who else

603
00:26:14.839 --> 00:26:17.279
can I get involved with? Who else can I bring aboard?

604
00:26:17.319 --> 00:26:19.799
What are those thought processes? And I guess what I'm

605
00:26:19.839 --> 00:26:21.960
saying is trying to open my mind a little bit,

606
00:26:22.039 --> 00:26:24.799
even if it's a small thing, trying to incorporate more

607
00:26:24.880 --> 00:26:30.440
things in my life that bring some sort of education, intelligence, happiness,

608
00:26:30.599 --> 00:26:32.039
depth something well.

609
00:26:32.119 --> 00:26:34.480
I mean, I mean the science is behind it, right,

610
00:26:34.519 --> 00:26:39.160
Like when you achieve little goals, it kind of catapults

611
00:26:39.200 --> 00:26:41.720
you to want to achieve bigger goals. Right, So if

612
00:26:41.720 --> 00:26:44.519
you're having those little wins every day, Like listening to

613
00:26:44.559 --> 00:26:47.400
an educational podcast. I mean, when you get off that elliptical,

614
00:26:47.480 --> 00:26:48.839
not only have you worked out, but you kind of

615
00:26:48.839 --> 00:26:50.519
feel like, you know, I want to give myself a

616
00:26:50.559 --> 00:26:52.359
pat on the back. I did something today that like

617
00:26:52.759 --> 00:26:55.599
was enriching to what my ultimate goal is. I think

618
00:26:56.000 --> 00:26:59.000
we know that science is there. Those little goals add

619
00:26:59.200 --> 00:27:01.640
like achieving those smaller things kind of add up and

620
00:27:01.680 --> 00:27:04.039
it's a little bit easier to take those bolder steps

621
00:27:04.119 --> 00:27:06.559
right and like maybe reach a little bit higher, but

622
00:27:07.119 --> 00:27:09.400
just having a sense of achievement, like I can do this,

623
00:27:09.599 --> 00:27:13.319
I can do this right, like I did seventy five

624
00:27:13.400 --> 00:27:15.240
hard last year. Have you ever heard of that? We

625
00:27:15.359 --> 00:27:18.200
have to work out every day twice a day, indoor outdoor,

626
00:27:18.200 --> 00:27:21.839
you're drinking water, you're taking pictures. That was probably the

627
00:27:21.880 --> 00:27:24.559
hardest thing I've ever done in my life, Like truly

628
00:27:24.640 --> 00:27:26.599
the hardest thing. It would be twenty degrees and I'd

629
00:27:26.599 --> 00:27:29.079
have to go outside for forty five minutes. At the

630
00:27:29.240 --> 00:27:32.359
end of that seventy five days, you know, regardless of

631
00:27:32.400 --> 00:27:37.599
the like physical benefits, I felt like I had the

632
00:27:37.640 --> 00:27:40.240
ability to do something bolder right, Like I could try

633
00:27:40.279 --> 00:27:43.039
something I've never tried before I can work with clients

634
00:27:43.039 --> 00:27:45.319
that I've never worked with, I can do more research. Like,

635
00:27:45.720 --> 00:27:47.279
I think we all have a little bit of imposter

636
00:27:47.440 --> 00:27:50.240
syndrome where we feel like maybe we're not where we're

637
00:27:50.240 --> 00:27:52.079
supposed to be or you know, other people are going

638
00:27:52.119 --> 00:27:54.400
to find out, And I think those little winds just

639
00:27:54.559 --> 00:27:56.000
build that confidence up.

640
00:27:56.079 --> 00:27:56.279
Right.

641
00:27:56.799 --> 00:27:58.759
I think that's really important in day to day life

642
00:27:58.880 --> 00:28:00.400
is just find your win, right.

643
00:28:01.000 --> 00:28:03.240
And I think one of the best things too in

644
00:28:03.240 --> 00:28:07.160
that process is stop judging yourself, like like the personal

645
00:28:07.240 --> 00:28:10.279
judgments and the beating downs of oh my god.

646
00:28:10.119 --> 00:28:11.599
I'm not where I want to be at. I'm not

647
00:28:11.680 --> 00:28:12.920
doing this, I'm not making.

648
00:28:12.720 --> 00:28:15.319
This money, i haven't had this, i haven't met this person.

649
00:28:15.559 --> 00:28:17.960
I mean, that's getting in the way. And anytime I

650
00:28:18.000 --> 00:28:20.720
beat up myself or put myself down, it's not helping

651
00:28:20.759 --> 00:28:22.680
in anyway. Shit, Ian, when was the last time that

652
00:28:22.720 --> 00:28:24.400
you told your friend, Hey, you're an idiot, get your

653
00:28:24.440 --> 00:28:26.359
head out of your ass. You know you're screwing up.

654
00:28:26.599 --> 00:28:28.559
I mean, look at all this stuff you're creating. This

655
00:28:28.599 --> 00:28:31.160
is horrible. When did that ever help anybody? Yes, I mean,

656
00:28:31.400 --> 00:28:33.920
you know, talking to somebody and maybe you know bringing

657
00:28:34.000 --> 00:28:36.000
up some things that need some light is one thing.

658
00:28:36.079 --> 00:28:38.400
But you know, the way we talk to ourselves is

659
00:28:38.440 --> 00:28:38.880
so important.

660
00:28:38.960 --> 00:28:41.160
I'm not saying that you should be like Mamby Pamby

661
00:28:41.279 --> 00:28:44.240
like everything is like, you know, rainbows and unicorns, but

662
00:28:44.279 --> 00:28:47.200
I'm saying, hey, like, try to be helpful, try to

663
00:28:47.240 --> 00:28:49.559
talk to yourself like most of you are very you know,

664
00:28:49.880 --> 00:28:52.039
like empathetic. You care about people. Most of the people

665
00:28:52.079 --> 00:28:53.880
that are listening and watching this show are. I mean,

666
00:28:53.880 --> 00:28:56.079
that's the avatar of people that watch and listen to

667
00:28:56.119 --> 00:28:59.759
my content care about other people. Sometimes you're taking advantage

668
00:28:59.799 --> 00:29:02.240
by other people, but you do care about other people.

669
00:29:02.319 --> 00:29:04.240
And so I feel like, try to give someone that

670
00:29:04.319 --> 00:29:07.240
care to yourself maybe a little bit before you just

671
00:29:07.319 --> 00:29:09.799
beat yourself up over what you haven't done.

672
00:29:09.960 --> 00:29:14.119
Another health professional gave me some great advice years ago,

673
00:29:14.240 --> 00:29:16.599
and she's like, follow the advice that you would give

674
00:29:16.880 --> 00:29:21.039
your daughter, your mother, your best friend. Like what kind

675
00:29:21.079 --> 00:29:23.519
of encouragement when you give those folks when they maybe

676
00:29:23.559 --> 00:29:27.599
are you know, have something disappointing happened in their life,

677
00:29:27.680 --> 00:29:30.319
or maybe they haven't achieved something You wouldn't say like

678
00:29:30.319 --> 00:29:32.960
like you said before, like ugh, you're doing terrible. How

679
00:29:32.960 --> 00:29:35.359
do you live with yourself. You would say to your

680
00:29:35.359 --> 00:29:37.759
friend or your daughter, or your sister or your mother, like, Okay,

681
00:29:37.759 --> 00:29:40.279
come on, you know what. We all have disappointments, we

682
00:29:40.319 --> 00:29:42.440
all have failures, but it just gets us one closer

683
00:29:42.440 --> 00:29:44.720
to like one step closer to where we want to be.

684
00:29:44.759 --> 00:29:46.279
And I think we just have to give ourselves the

685
00:29:46.319 --> 00:29:48.000
same encouragement that we would give others.

686
00:29:48.480 --> 00:29:50.039
I agree with you, I agree with you.

687
00:29:50.200 --> 00:29:53.160
Uh. It's interesting, though, and it's hard to just have

688
00:29:53.200 --> 00:29:56.039
that awareness and I and I also think too is

689
00:29:56.039 --> 00:29:59.359
like trying to slow down time. Like time to me

690
00:29:59.519 --> 00:30:03.799
is kind of like it's circular, it's consistent.

691
00:30:04.039 --> 00:30:04.880
I don't really know.

692
00:30:06.000 --> 00:30:07.759
I don't I don't look at it as a linear thing.

693
00:30:07.799 --> 00:30:09.440
And I think sometimes we have to look at it

694
00:30:09.440 --> 00:30:11.920
as like, Okay, hey, I have the time. Let's not

695
00:30:12.000 --> 00:30:14.319
focus on that, because I think sometimes when you go, well,

696
00:30:14.359 --> 00:30:16.759
I don't have time, I don't have time, just the

697
00:30:16.839 --> 00:30:19.319
idea of saying I don't have time or I'm running

698
00:30:19.359 --> 00:30:22.039
out of time, that's a stressor on its own as well.

699
00:30:22.039 --> 00:30:23.599
Okay, but I feel like when people say they don't

700
00:30:23.599 --> 00:30:25.640
have time, it's because they're spending too much time doing

701
00:30:25.680 --> 00:30:26.759
things for others.

702
00:30:27.240 --> 00:30:28.680
Right, because talk about that.

703
00:30:28.880 --> 00:30:32.000
Yeah, I mean it's true when you do, when you

704
00:30:32.039 --> 00:30:34.319
spend your time the way that you enjoy it, I

705
00:30:34.359 --> 00:30:37.119
think you'll find you've got plenty of it, because when

706
00:30:37.160 --> 00:30:39.079
you don't have time, it means you're too busy working

707
00:30:39.079 --> 00:30:41.519
for someone else. And I'm not talking about like career work.

708
00:30:41.559 --> 00:30:45.880
I'm talking about spousal work, parent work, friend work. I mean,

709
00:30:46.160 --> 00:30:48.519
you know, you just need to make sure that your

710
00:30:48.559 --> 00:30:51.079
time is your own right. If you're spending too much

711
00:30:51.119 --> 00:30:53.400
time for other people, I think you'll find you'll have

712
00:30:53.519 --> 00:30:54.279
very little of it.

713
00:30:54.880 --> 00:30:57.359
Oh, that's very important telling me about there are dealing

714
00:30:57.359 --> 00:31:00.799
with that, whether it's a spouse, you know, significant other,

715
00:31:00.880 --> 00:31:03.319
a family member, or several friends that are taking up

716
00:31:03.319 --> 00:31:05.640
a lot of your time and effort. And it's becoming

717
00:31:05.759 --> 00:31:08.880
like a second career, you know, a second job of

718
00:31:09.000 --> 00:31:10.039
fo you to do.

719
00:31:10.119 --> 00:31:12.680
There's always folks that want to get you to do

720
00:31:12.759 --> 00:31:14.839
things for them. I mean you think about just your

721
00:31:14.920 --> 00:31:18.799
day to day activities. People really want your time and

722
00:31:18.839 --> 00:31:21.359
I think that's our most valuable possession and you have

723
00:31:21.400 --> 00:31:24.000
to treat it as such, right like, you have to

724
00:31:24.039 --> 00:31:25.920
think about it. When someone asks you to do something

725
00:31:25.960 --> 00:31:27.680
for you, think about it. Is this the best use

726
00:31:27.720 --> 00:31:30.839
of my time. Like I'm not saying that we do

727
00:31:30.960 --> 00:31:34.079
things for others to get something reciprocal, but like, is

728
00:31:34.119 --> 00:31:36.079
this going to bring value to you? Like, is this

729
00:31:36.160 --> 00:31:39.079
a person that values your time? Like will I you know,

730
00:31:39.119 --> 00:31:40.880
if I ask them to do something for me, would

731
00:31:40.880 --> 00:31:43.319
they do something for me? Like you really have to

732
00:31:43.359 --> 00:31:47.039
treat time as like your highest or your greatest equity

733
00:31:47.039 --> 00:31:47.720
in your life.

734
00:31:48.279 --> 00:31:50.880
That's very true. And so yeah, there's two sides to it,

735
00:31:50.920 --> 00:31:54.160
but you're right, you need to own your time. Yeah,

736
00:31:54.200 --> 00:31:55.680
for sure, I need to own your time.

737
00:31:56.079 --> 00:31:57.640
And when I think when you do that, I think

738
00:31:57.640 --> 00:31:59.640
you'll find that your goals are a little bit more achievable,

739
00:31:59.839 --> 00:32:01.839
right because you don't have the static of all those

740
00:32:02.440 --> 00:32:05.119
kind of activities and mundane things you're doing for others

741
00:32:05.160 --> 00:32:06.559
getting in the way. You can kind of push that

742
00:32:06.640 --> 00:32:08.480
aside and see the future a little bit clear.

743
00:32:09.160 --> 00:32:11.960
Very true, very true, And so think about that, maybe,

744
00:32:12.000 --> 00:32:14.680
you know, looking at your life and taking an inventory

745
00:32:15.200 --> 00:32:16.920
of who is taking the most time out of your

746
00:32:16.960 --> 00:32:19.079
life and putting that list together, you know, and really

747
00:32:19.119 --> 00:32:21.240
look at it and putting it in order of operations,

748
00:32:21.279 --> 00:32:23.640
because that's something we don't look at either. Sometimes this

749
00:32:23.759 --> 00:32:26.160
can go under the radar. You may have just met somebody,

750
00:32:26.200 --> 00:32:28.039
been in a relationship for a few months, and it

751
00:32:28.039 --> 00:32:30.000
seems like all of a sudden your life has changed,

752
00:32:30.000 --> 00:32:31.839
and you're like giving and giving to this person, but

753
00:32:31.880 --> 00:32:33.599
get not getting that much in a return. And we're

754
00:32:34.039 --> 00:32:35.720
we're not sitting there saying, oh, I have to get

755
00:32:35.720 --> 00:32:37.319
this much and you got to give this much. But

756
00:32:37.680 --> 00:32:39.759
you know, we're not keeping score, but being aware of

757
00:32:39.759 --> 00:32:43.759
these types of things because somebody or multiple somebodies can

758
00:32:43.799 --> 00:32:45.559
really change someone's trajectory.

759
00:32:45.680 --> 00:32:46.640
Oh, very quickly.

760
00:32:46.759 --> 00:32:49.240
You're spending all your time doing things that that partner

761
00:32:49.279 --> 00:32:52.079
wants to do. Right, where's your joy? Are you gonna

762
00:32:52.079 --> 00:32:54.880
find like that you're resentful towards the other person down

763
00:32:54.920 --> 00:32:57.279
the road? Like you have to set really strong boundaries

764
00:32:57.279 --> 00:32:58.599
with people when it comes to time.

765
00:32:59.160 --> 00:33:03.160
Yeah, that's a big deal, right, and.

766
00:33:03.119 --> 00:33:04.160
Then where does that get you?

767
00:33:04.279 --> 00:33:07.000
We can do a show and remment. Let's just talk

768
00:33:07.000 --> 00:33:09.839
about resentment. You know, we're gonna talk about resentment for

769
00:33:09.839 --> 00:33:11.920
four hours. We're gonna have a callers, that's what we're

770
00:33:11.920 --> 00:33:13.720
gonna talk about it. I want people to call out

771
00:33:13.759 --> 00:33:15.720
the names of the people that they're resentful.

772
00:33:16.839 --> 00:33:17.880
That's that's very good.

773
00:33:18.200 --> 00:33:20.279
We're gonna get them on the phone too with you.

774
00:33:20.720 --> 00:33:22.160
But no, I think I think it's true. And so

775
00:33:22.200 --> 00:33:23.960
when we were trying to be talking more about this,

776
00:33:24.039 --> 00:33:26.359
because you know, we do have to have a road map,

777
00:33:26.400 --> 00:33:28.160
and Erica is very clear about how to create that

778
00:33:28.240 --> 00:33:30.559
we want to talk about, this gives some help and

779
00:33:30.599 --> 00:33:32.359
some you know, examples of things that you can start

780
00:33:32.359 --> 00:33:35.160
doing right now, some homework, you might say, to start,

781
00:33:35.200 --> 00:33:37.680
you know, making things work and to start getting to

782
00:33:37.759 --> 00:33:40.680
some sort of answers, because I agree that more answers

783
00:33:40.680 --> 00:33:42.880
are better than all questions. To stay tuned, leave your

784
00:33:42.880 --> 00:33:45.359
true Life Perspectives with your host me, Ashley Birders will

785
00:33:45.400 --> 00:33:50.119
be back in. I'll be back this time in two shakes.

786
00:34:03.559 --> 00:34:07.680
Get in here. You're listening to Perspectives with Ashley Burgess.

787
00:34:10.480 --> 00:34:12.559
Welcome back live to look your Too Life Perspectives and

788
00:34:12.599 --> 00:34:15.679
I'm your host, Ashley Burgess. We've been talking today about

789
00:34:15.719 --> 00:34:18.199
quarter life crises and how to understand it and how

790
00:34:18.239 --> 00:34:21.199
to stop you know, looking at other people's lives and

791
00:34:21.239 --> 00:34:23.440
baking judgment calls in our own life. And right before

792
00:34:23.440 --> 00:34:25.400
the break, we were talking about resentment and how when

793
00:34:25.440 --> 00:34:27.960
we give a lot of our energy or too much

794
00:34:28.000 --> 00:34:30.639
of our energy, you might say, too much of our

795
00:34:30.719 --> 00:34:33.400
you know, our direction and all that we can get

796
00:34:33.440 --> 00:34:34.400
resentful in Erica.

797
00:34:34.440 --> 00:34:34.639
You know.

798
00:34:34.880 --> 00:34:36.840
I think that's interesting is that we have to really

799
00:34:36.920 --> 00:34:40.039
monitor where is most of our energy going, who is

800
00:34:40.119 --> 00:34:41.840
taking most of the energy, but also who are we

801
00:34:41.880 --> 00:34:42.920
giving most of it too.

802
00:34:43.559 --> 00:34:46.400
It's true and like like we talked about earlier too,

803
00:34:46.480 --> 00:34:49.159
like our influences, like right, the people that we're spending

804
00:34:49.159 --> 00:34:50.960
the most time with, those are usually the people that

805
00:34:51.000 --> 00:34:53.079
are influencing the decisions that we make in our day

806
00:34:53.079 --> 00:34:55.679
to day life. Right, because if they're in your life

807
00:34:55.760 --> 00:34:57.440
all day, then they're the ones that are going to

808
00:34:57.480 --> 00:35:00.800
be in your ear. So I think the first thing

809
00:35:00.840 --> 00:35:03.239
that I usually recommend that my clients do is, like,

810
00:35:03.400 --> 00:35:05.760
let's take stock. Let's make a list of the people

811
00:35:05.800 --> 00:35:08.079
that we spend the majority of our time with, who

812
00:35:08.079 --> 00:35:10.760
are the people that influence the decisions that we make,

813
00:35:10.840 --> 00:35:13.960
and we really take some deep dives into those people

814
00:35:14.079 --> 00:35:16.920
and see where their value lies and where they are

815
00:35:17.000 --> 00:35:20.079
in our life, like where do they belong? Like your mother,

816
00:35:20.199 --> 00:35:22.280
Maybe your mother's in your ear telling you all the

817
00:35:22.320 --> 00:35:24.599
things that you should be do you know you should

818
00:35:24.599 --> 00:35:27.679
do or where you should kind of focus your time, Like, Okay,

819
00:35:28.119 --> 00:35:30.320
that's a great idea. Like I get some good source

820
00:35:30.360 --> 00:35:32.920
of advice from my mom, But like, is that going

821
00:35:33.000 --> 00:35:35.519
to be our biggest source of influence? Like has our

822
00:35:35.559 --> 00:35:37.760
mother gone down the same path we have? You know,

823
00:35:37.800 --> 00:35:39.559
maybe our mom is a stay at home mom and

824
00:35:39.599 --> 00:35:42.199
we want to be in our career driven, you know, lifestyle.

825
00:35:42.719 --> 00:35:44.320
Maybe that's not the person that we're going to get

826
00:35:44.320 --> 00:35:46.639
advice from. Maybe that's not going to be our best influence.

827
00:35:46.679 --> 00:35:48.519
Maybe we're going to go and seek out someone who's

828
00:35:48.559 --> 00:35:51.280
kind of walked that walk or taken that path we

829
00:35:51.280 --> 00:35:52.639
want to go on. So I think we just have

830
00:35:52.719 --> 00:35:57.239
to examine our influences and determine where we can get

831
00:35:57.280 --> 00:35:59.559
a greater source of influence that'll get us where we

832
00:35:59.599 --> 00:36:01.440
want to be down the line. So I think that's

833
00:36:01.440 --> 00:36:04.159
probably the first step. It's just kind of identifying who's

834
00:36:04.159 --> 00:36:06.920
in our ear and where we're getting our ideas from.

835
00:36:07.280 --> 00:36:09.519
That's super important because you're right who you're getting your

836
00:36:09.559 --> 00:36:13.519
advice from, because everybody, usually unless you're dealing with somebody

837
00:36:13.519 --> 00:36:16.199
that's a professional, you know, a therapist or a professional coach,

838
00:36:16.639 --> 00:36:19.000
is not they're giving you advice based on their own life.

839
00:36:19.000 --> 00:36:21.519
They're giving you their advice based on their own fears.

840
00:36:21.519 --> 00:36:24.400
They're giving you their advice based on their own shortcomings,

841
00:36:24.760 --> 00:36:27.519
and unfortunately not that they're trying to do that, but

842
00:36:27.599 --> 00:36:29.800
that's what happens. And so there can be a you know,

843
00:36:29.840 --> 00:36:33.159
a very I guess just not what is necessarily needed

844
00:36:33.199 --> 00:36:35.800
to hear. And then sometimes this can get you further

845
00:36:35.880 --> 00:36:38.639
off base, you know, I mean, and I'm not saying

846
00:36:38.639 --> 00:36:40.559
that our parents don't want the best for us or whatever,

847
00:36:40.840 --> 00:36:42.840
but sometimes you know, the things that they had to

848
00:36:42.880 --> 00:36:44.599
do and the things that they couldn't do and the

849
00:36:44.679 --> 00:36:48.039
changes they had to make will influence their conversation with us.

850
00:36:48.159 --> 00:36:50.679
I love that you just said limits because I always

851
00:36:50.679 --> 00:36:54.760
think that when someone tells you can't do something, it's

852
00:36:54.800 --> 00:36:57.719
because it's their limit. They can't do it, so they're

853
00:36:57.719 --> 00:37:01.119
impressing their limits on you. So you need to make

854
00:37:01.159 --> 00:37:03.559
sure that the people around you and the people you're

855
00:37:03.599 --> 00:37:06.639
listening to have your best interest at heart. They believe

856
00:37:06.719 --> 00:37:07.800
you can do what you want to do.

857
00:37:07.920 --> 00:37:08.159
Right.

858
00:37:08.480 --> 00:37:11.039
They're not imposing their will or their limits on you.

859
00:37:11.199 --> 00:37:14.559
They're allowing you the space to achieve your highest limit, right,

860
00:37:14.719 --> 00:37:17.480
And that's really like who we need around us, people

861
00:37:17.519 --> 00:37:19.840
who believe that we can achieve things, let's beyond where

862
00:37:19.840 --> 00:37:20.840
we're at at that moment.

863
00:37:21.440 --> 00:37:24.519
So true, and if we're if we surround ourselves with

864
00:37:24.559 --> 00:37:27.400
people that have those limitations or discuss that or put

865
00:37:27.400 --> 00:37:29.199
those limitations on us, that's just going to give us

866
00:37:29.519 --> 00:37:30.920
further away from where we need to be at.

867
00:37:31.000 --> 00:37:32.159
Oh yeah, one hundred percent.

868
00:37:33.079 --> 00:37:36.000
And that's interesting because it's interesting that we've talked about

869
00:37:36.000 --> 00:37:38.159
this too as well, because I've had that before where

870
00:37:38.719 --> 00:37:40.880
I've brought up something to somebody that you know, I said, Hey,

871
00:37:40.920 --> 00:37:43.360
I'm thinking about doing this, and they, oh.

872
00:37:43.320 --> 00:37:44.199
You know, that's crazy.

873
00:37:44.239 --> 00:37:46.920
But then I look back and I realize they don't

874
00:37:46.920 --> 00:37:49.320
have the bandwidth to do that, right, They don't have

875
00:37:49.360 --> 00:37:51.199
the bandwidth to even take that. It wasn't about me

876
00:37:51.320 --> 00:37:53.400
not being able to do it, you know. But then

877
00:37:53.440 --> 00:37:55.280
at first, for like a few weeks, you're setting, oh,

878
00:37:55.320 --> 00:37:57.199
I guess I'm not going to do that, and then

879
00:37:57.239 --> 00:37:59.239
you realize, oh, they don't have the bandwidth to do

880
00:37:59.280 --> 00:37:59.719
that in their.

881
00:37:59.559 --> 00:38:03.400
Own hundred percent right. And I think, you know, there

882
00:38:03.400 --> 00:38:06.000
are particular kinds of people, maybe people who have like

883
00:38:06.039 --> 00:38:09.159
a string of jealousy. But I always say, like, you know,

884
00:38:09.719 --> 00:38:11.639
you need to be around people that want to feel

885
00:38:11.679 --> 00:38:14.480
your sunshine, right like, they want to see you succeed

886
00:38:14.559 --> 00:38:16.960
because they're not afraid to feel the warmth from what

887
00:38:17.039 --> 00:38:19.719
you're achieving. You know, I know, there's just so many

888
00:38:19.760 --> 00:38:23.519
people that they're influenced by you. They don't want you

889
00:38:23.559 --> 00:38:27.079
to achieve greatness because they're afraid that makes them, like

890
00:38:27.320 --> 00:38:31.079
feel like they're not worthy or they haven't achieved great things.

891
00:38:31.400 --> 00:38:33.519
So you want to be with people who want to

892
00:38:33.559 --> 00:38:36.199
feel your warmth and you know, rise to the highest

893
00:38:36.239 --> 00:38:37.400
level they can go to too.

894
00:38:37.519 --> 00:38:39.000
So that's very smart.

895
00:38:39.159 --> 00:38:42.039
Yeah, that's very smart sort of looking at the people

896
00:38:42.079 --> 00:38:42.679
that are around you.

897
00:38:42.719 --> 00:38:42.920
I mean.

898
00:38:42.960 --> 00:38:45.079
And also and it's not about you. You're not always

899
00:38:45.079 --> 00:38:47.480
exactly the people you're around. But birds with fathers do

900
00:38:47.559 --> 00:38:49.920
flock together. But what I've also found too is just

901
00:38:49.960 --> 00:38:53.239
be very careful, be very aware of any sort of

902
00:38:53.320 --> 00:38:55.840
negative influences that are in your life and be able

903
00:38:55.880 --> 00:38:58.159
to spot it because it can go it can go

904
00:38:58.360 --> 00:39:01.440
under the radar and somebody and sometimes we don't realize

905
00:39:01.480 --> 00:39:03.920
maybe there's a friend or somebody in your life that's

906
00:39:04.320 --> 00:39:06.840
not adding to your quality of life, but really taking

907
00:39:06.880 --> 00:39:09.639
away from it and analyze that too, because if you

908
00:39:09.800 --> 00:39:11.480
have that in your life. You might not even be

909
00:39:11.519 --> 00:39:14.599
aware of it, and that person's like creating all this

910
00:39:14.800 --> 00:39:17.760
kind of static in your mind, these feelings that you're having,

911
00:39:17.760 --> 00:39:20.639
which is making you even more confused. But I really

912
00:39:20.679 --> 00:39:23.360
do advocate because these are things that you got to

913
00:39:23.400 --> 00:39:26.119
get really real, You got to really see it, You

914
00:39:26.199 --> 00:39:29.280
got to be aware, and awareness is key. You can't

915
00:39:29.320 --> 00:39:31.199
just go around just oh whatever, You have to be

916
00:39:31.280 --> 00:39:33.119
super aware of everybody around.

917
00:39:32.920 --> 00:39:35.480
Your intentional and you know, just circling back to like

918
00:39:35.599 --> 00:39:39.159
midlife crisis, quarter life crisis. I think sometimes we surround

919
00:39:39.159 --> 00:39:43.440
ourselves with friendships of circumstance, right, I mean, we have

920
00:39:43.519 --> 00:39:46.119
these relationships like these people around us because we went

921
00:39:46.119 --> 00:39:49.239
to school together, they were you know, I work with them.

922
00:39:49.400 --> 00:39:51.800
And I think that's like something that a lot of

923
00:39:51.840 --> 00:39:54.159
us kind of get into is where we've now we've

924
00:39:54.199 --> 00:39:57.000
surrounded ourselves with people by circumstance, not by choice. And

925
00:39:57.079 --> 00:39:59.920
I want my clients and the viewers to think of

926
00:40:00.079 --> 00:40:03.679
out do I choose you? Would I choose you to

927
00:40:03.760 --> 00:40:06.039
be my friends? And I think that can be difficult

928
00:40:06.079 --> 00:40:08.000
because we believe, like we don't want to you know,

929
00:40:08.079 --> 00:40:11.480
ruin a friendship or relationship or whatever. But like I

930
00:40:11.480 --> 00:40:14.920
think sometimes friendships are seasonal, right, Like the people around you,

931
00:40:15.039 --> 00:40:17.559
Like maybe they're there for that moment in time, for

932
00:40:17.679 --> 00:40:20.719
that career or that job or that stage of your life.

933
00:40:20.760 --> 00:40:23.880
But like when you move forward, maybe you have to

934
00:40:23.960 --> 00:40:25.000
leave those people behind.

935
00:40:26.199 --> 00:40:28.280
Yeah, I mean that's that's definitely true. Like you, I've

936
00:40:28.280 --> 00:40:31.000
known them for years, you know. I think also another

937
00:40:31.079 --> 00:40:33.400
concept too, And I'm not getting down on family. Okay,

938
00:40:33.400 --> 00:40:35.800
we're not getting down on a family. But just because

939
00:40:35.840 --> 00:40:37.440
somebody's your family doesn't mean you have to hang out

940
00:40:37.440 --> 00:40:39.000
with them all the time. Okay, And I know that

941
00:40:39.079 --> 00:40:40.559
some of y'all go, you know, they.

942
00:40:40.559 --> 00:40:42.280
Don't always have your best interest at heart.

943
00:40:42.440 --> 00:40:44.440
No, I mean, just because our family doesn't mean that

944
00:40:44.440 --> 00:40:46.159
they're always going to be there for you. They're they're

945
00:40:46.159 --> 00:40:47.840
gonna be genuine, or they're gonna be the one that

946
00:40:47.880 --> 00:40:50.159
advises you to give you this great advice. I mean,

947
00:40:50.199 --> 00:40:52.440
so really think about that too. Don't not to say

948
00:40:52.440 --> 00:40:54.360
that there's not great family out there, but don't let

949
00:40:54.440 --> 00:40:57.760
family the name, the name, the label family camouflage the

950
00:40:57.800 --> 00:41:00.320
fact that you might be dealing with a wolf. I mean,

951
00:41:00.360 --> 00:41:02.920
if somebody's you know, not not really participating in a

952
00:41:02.920 --> 00:41:05.440
positive level or seems to take you down a notch

953
00:41:05.480 --> 00:41:07.800
or kind of make you feel bad or seems to

954
00:41:07.840 --> 00:41:10.159
get you know, relish off of maybe things that aren't

955
00:41:10.159 --> 00:41:13.079
working for you. You know, because we've all had those family

956
00:41:13.079 --> 00:41:14.920
members where the first thing when you walk into a

957
00:41:14.920 --> 00:41:17.079
family re union, you know, they're, oh, I heard that

958
00:41:17.199 --> 00:41:20.039
something happened to you, you know, and it's it's it's

959
00:41:20.039 --> 00:41:21.280
this whole down trot.

960
00:41:21.360 --> 00:41:23.480
You know, they find joy and like your failures, oh

961
00:41:23.480 --> 00:41:25.920
for sure, right because they you know, that's they kind

962
00:41:25.920 --> 00:41:28.440
of push you down to lift themselves up. You have

963
00:41:28.519 --> 00:41:30.559
to be like very careful of those folks. And there's

964
00:41:30.599 --> 00:41:33.159
people like that and like friend groups like you know,

965
00:41:33.559 --> 00:41:36.000
when my kids were younger, I had you know, friendships

966
00:41:36.000 --> 00:41:38.480
of circumstance, right, Like I just spoke about and there

967
00:41:38.559 --> 00:41:40.760
was always a few in the group that were kind

968
00:41:40.800 --> 00:41:44.239
of I don't want to say joyful, but like took

969
00:41:44.239 --> 00:41:46.960
the light in like the failures of my kids or

970
00:41:47.519 --> 00:41:51.039
you know, maybe a failure I had, and I think, gosh,

971
00:41:51.119 --> 00:41:53.039
you know what, like why would I even surround myself

972
00:41:53.039 --> 00:41:55.199
with those kind of individuals, Like it's time for me

973
00:41:55.280 --> 00:41:57.199
to make some bold choices, Like I got to do

974
00:41:57.239 --> 00:42:00.400
something for myself and leave these people behind because it's

975
00:42:00.480 --> 00:42:02.480
just not positive. It doesn't bring value.

976
00:42:03.039 --> 00:42:03.840
That's so true.

977
00:42:03.960 --> 00:42:06.119
That's so true, and I think so that so definitely

978
00:42:06.400 --> 00:42:08.880
kind of putting together that list, like starting to see

979
00:42:08.920 --> 00:42:11.480
the folks that are not maybe positive aspects in your

980
00:42:11.519 --> 00:42:14.079
life and start working with that. You know, like when

981
00:42:14.119 --> 00:42:16.519
do you think, like, you know, when you work with clients,

982
00:42:16.960 --> 00:42:18.800
you know, do you see how long does it take

983
00:42:18.840 --> 00:42:20.920
to get somebody to almost at least.

984
00:42:20.679 --> 00:42:22.239
Have some clarity what's through the er?

985
00:42:22.320 --> 00:42:24.840
I mean, everybody's different, but what's the average of somebody

986
00:42:24.880 --> 00:42:27.199
actually having you know, Oh, I do see the forest

987
00:42:27.239 --> 00:42:27.719
through the trees.

988
00:42:27.760 --> 00:42:29.239
I am seen light at the end of tunnel.

989
00:42:29.519 --> 00:42:32.000
I mean, I think there's definitely some deep dives that

990
00:42:32.039 --> 00:42:35.280
need to happen with clients about like, you know, figuring

991
00:42:35.320 --> 00:42:38.519
out what they're really their true purposes, right, Like it

992
00:42:38.599 --> 00:42:40.440
kind of takes a couple of weeks to get into that.

993
00:42:41.199 --> 00:42:44.119
I mean, I would say probably within six or eight

994
00:42:44.159 --> 00:42:46.119
weeks we kind of know the direction we're going in,

995
00:42:46.199 --> 00:42:49.559
and then from there it's like, okay, let's walk this, like,

996
00:42:49.679 --> 00:42:52.519
let's figure out how we get there, Let's get moving

997
00:42:52.599 --> 00:42:54.320
and see if we can make some progress. And get

998
00:42:54.360 --> 00:42:55.880
you where you want to be. But I would say

999
00:42:55.920 --> 00:42:57.800
like six to eight weeks we have a pretty clear

1000
00:42:57.840 --> 00:43:02.639
focus of what they want, right, Maybe getting there takes longer,

1001
00:43:03.320 --> 00:43:05.960
you know, and I'm sure there's a lot of failures

1002
00:43:06.000 --> 00:43:08.679
along the way, but like we really do find that

1003
00:43:08.719 --> 00:43:11.000
it takes a good six to eight sessions to kind

1004
00:43:11.000 --> 00:43:14.360
of take stock of their life, figure out what's important,

1005
00:43:14.480 --> 00:43:16.360
you know, really do the work to figure out where

1006
00:43:16.400 --> 00:43:19.079
they want to be. And from there it's more just

1007
00:43:19.280 --> 00:43:22.280
it's action, right, It's action on behalf of the client, Like,

1008
00:43:22.360 --> 00:43:25.320
are you ready to take that step? I'm gonna be

1009
00:43:25.400 --> 00:43:27.760
there with ye. But how difficult is that going to

1010
00:43:27.800 --> 00:43:29.760
be to navigate? You know, it could be something as

1011
00:43:29.840 --> 00:43:33.159
difficult as you know, separating from a partner, that can

1012
00:43:33.199 --> 00:43:37.320
be really difficult, you know, quitting your job and trying

1013
00:43:37.320 --> 00:43:39.519
something new, going back to school at forty years old.

1014
00:43:39.519 --> 00:43:42.119
I mean those are bold moves. But you know, I

1015
00:43:42.159 --> 00:43:44.880
think the reward can be really tremendous. I really do.

1016
00:43:44.960 --> 00:43:48.360
I think sometimes when we live through the lens of

1017
00:43:48.360 --> 00:43:51.320
other people, life can be not as fulfilling. But I

1018
00:43:51.320 --> 00:43:54.199
think when you make big choices, I think there's big rewards.

1019
00:43:54.840 --> 00:43:56.760
I agree with you or I agree with you. Yeah,

1020
00:43:56.800 --> 00:43:58.559
we have a lot. So Erica is going to be

1021
00:43:58.639 --> 00:44:00.880
on the podcast radio show quite a coming up here.

1022
00:44:00.920 --> 00:44:02.320
We have a lot of stuff to talk about. I

1023
00:44:02.320 --> 00:44:04.639
think that this connects with a lot of people. We're

1024
00:44:04.639 --> 00:44:06.719
gonna be talking more about midlife crisis. I also want

1025
00:44:06.760 --> 00:44:08.840
to talk with you in a future show about purpose

1026
00:44:08.880 --> 00:44:11.800
finding and really dedicating time to that, because I don't

1027
00:44:11.800 --> 00:44:13.159
think we dedicate enough time to.

1028
00:44:13.119 --> 00:44:14.000
Really finding ourselves.

1029
00:44:14.000 --> 00:44:15.639
I mean, the whole reason, and I've said this before

1030
00:44:15.639 --> 00:44:17.360
and I'll say it again, the whole reason we're on

1031
00:44:17.400 --> 00:44:19.039
this planet is to figure out who we are. It's

1032
00:44:19.079 --> 00:44:20.840
not to figure out who everybody else is. Yes, it's

1033
00:44:20.840 --> 00:44:23.119
helpful to have people around you, and it's great to

1034
00:44:23.119 --> 00:44:25.159
get to know them, But the little thing that's been

1035
00:44:25.199 --> 00:44:26.800
hidden this whole time is you got.

1036
00:44:26.599 --> 00:44:27.320
To figure out you.

1037
00:44:27.679 --> 00:44:30.400
Yeah, Like that's the whole That's the whole thing right there.

1038
00:44:30.440 --> 00:44:33.599
That's the ancelotas So everything else is great, it's a sidebar,

1039
00:44:33.679 --> 00:44:35.360
it's fun, but that's what it's all about.

1040
00:44:35.440 --> 00:44:38.159
It's true, I think, like, and that's something that most people,

1041
00:44:38.199 --> 00:44:40.719
like you said, will float through life, like being really present,

1042
00:44:40.800 --> 00:44:43.719
being where your feet are, just kind of being there

1043
00:44:43.760 --> 00:44:46.960
and enjoying all the different parts of yourself can be

1044
00:44:47.000 --> 00:44:48.079
really really exciting.

1045
00:44:48.880 --> 00:44:51.079
It really is, Erica, thanks for coming in.

1046
00:44:51.199 --> 00:44:52.840
Yeah, thanks for having me. I've enjoyed it.

1047
00:44:52.880 --> 00:44:54.840
I can't wait to have you back on. Yeah, let's

1048
00:44:54.880 --> 00:44:56.360
do it awesome. Well, there you go.

1049
00:44:56.519 --> 00:44:58.800
Eric will be back here in studio asap. We have

1050
00:44:58.880 --> 00:45:00.760
a lot of great shows to come up with and

1051
00:45:01.159 --> 00:45:03.519
to connect with, and please share with your family and friends.

1052
00:45:03.519 --> 00:45:06.440
And obviously if you're listening to the podcast, you're listening

1053
00:45:06.559 --> 00:45:10.400
on Apple, you can listen on Spotify, iHeart as well

1054
00:45:10.480 --> 00:45:13.320
as speaker, and also on the website check out the

1055
00:45:13.360 --> 00:45:15.800
Asthleyburgers dot com Ashley Burgers dot com. We got a

1056
00:45:15.880 --> 00:45:19.039
new we got a new makeover, so go check that out.

1057
00:45:19.119 --> 00:45:21.519
And you can also find out information on Erica right

1058
00:45:21.519 --> 00:45:23.480
there as well. If you go to coaching, you click down,

1059
00:45:23.559 --> 00:45:26.000
you see Erica's profile, you can read her bio. You

1060
00:45:26.000 --> 00:45:28.519
can also set up an appointment right there online with

1061
00:45:28.599 --> 00:45:29.320
her as well.

1062
00:45:29.480 --> 00:45:30.440
So stay tuned.

1063
00:45:30.440 --> 00:45:33.239
We've got more content, more shows coming up, and live

1064
00:45:33.280 --> 00:45:35.039
your true life perspectives with your host me.

1065
00:45:35.199 --> 00:45:36.440
Asthley Birds will be back in.

1066
00:45:36.880 --> 00:45:44.320
I'll be back this time in three shakes.