All the World is a Stage [Ep: 808]

0:01 You're in a good place now you are listening to Perspectives with Ashley Burgess. Welcome back live to the Ashley Burgess Podcast. And I feel like many of us have days where we lack motivation, maybe years of lacking motivation. Some of us are worried about what others. Think, what they'll think, or how they'll judge us based on what we do in our life or a first succeeding or not. Many of us also don't really know what we can do. Can we do this, can we achieve this? Can I be successful? Will this work for me? Or am I just doing all this for nothing? I think many of us are in fear. We're in fear.

0:46 What can I do? Will this work for me? Will this pan out for me? Some of you wanted to do different things in your life, and you had these dreams of being somebody else doing some other type of business or craft or career that you're not doing right now. Some of us feel like we're. Gonna screw it up if we do it, if we show up, we're gonna screw it up. Why do I even bother showing up? And a lot of us have dealt with this since childhood. Dealt with this from an early age, questioning our ability, wondering what to do, taking ourselves extremely serious in everything we do, and judging ourselves in every area of our life. I know that many of you judge yourselves on what you do, what you don't do. You even judge yourself on the things that you don't do, and you ponder and you feel bad about that, so you judge yourself again about pondering and thinking about it not doing. Then you beat yourself up again for it, you know. And I get it, and I understand that because I've done it too. I still work on this. I'm still in recovery for this. I still have to work on that. I still have to sit there and say, hey, Ashley, get up, do this, try it out, try it again, try it again, try it again, you know, because otherwise you don't want regret.

2:06 You don't want to look back at life and say, man, I'm missed out, woman, I missed out. You don't want to look at it and be like, I can't believe I missed out on this, or I didn't do this, or I didn't do this to my ability, or I should have done this, or I should have been there, or I should have done that instead turning that around and saying okay. And maybe some of you need to have motivation based on the fact that, well, there could be regretting. Some of you have to go to the brass tack. So well, if I focus on the regret and how painful it is, that'll get me, that'll get me there. Some of you don't need that much pushing, but some of you do. And I was thinking about it earlier today. I was thinking about life and how many of us take it too seriously, many of us judge ourselves too much, And I thought, in my mind, you know, I've always believed that all the world is a stage. All the world is a stage, right, All the world is a stage.

3:01 And it's interesting because it's the famous opening line of a monologue from William Shakespeare's play As You Like It. And it's interesting because I do believe that all the world is a stage. Whether it's a stage, whether it's your play or your film or you know, your movie or your documentary, whatever you want to call it. But if it's your play, how do you want that play to go? How do you want to see that play acted out? What part in that play do you want to take and what part do you not? What's important, what's not? How do you handle it? And then stepping back and looking at that play and realize that, yes, indeed, there are gonna be times that you take things too seriously.

3:47 There are gonna be times that you don't think take things serious enough. Maybe, but I don't really think that's the case. There's gonna be times that people are gonna talk bad about you, But should that change your life? It's always very interesting. So let's begin the discussion of how life is a stage. All the world's a stage, and your life is a stage. And it's about the play that we want to produce. It's about the play that not may necessarily produce, but the play that we want to star in. Think about it. You're the star. The people around you are your co stars. You have the folks that are kind of on the outskirts, you have the folks that are the main characters. You have you know, the good ones, the bad ones, you know the protagonists. You have all this stuff, okay, And it depends on how you look at it and how you cultivate that play.

4:42 It's your play, and when you. Think about it, I always find it funny, and I say this to a lot of my clients and sessions that I don't understand how people got along as far as they have, as far as most of us are all living in. Our own world. We live in our own world. We understand other people's ideas and concepts a little bit, but we really don't understand them completely. The fact that people aren't constantly fighting in the streets is beyond me, because all of us see things differently. Now we might see something similarly, but none of us are thinking the same way. None of us have the same consciousness, the same thought, the same thought process, the same history, the same background to cultivate put things together. We're all coming from a different perspective. How we were raised, the family dynamic, the historical reference to our lives, the goods, the bads, the positives, the negatives, the toxicities, the non toxicity. All those things contribute to our life. And so when we see something or we look at something and we say, oh, this is good, this is bad, this is horrible, this is great, that is all based on our perspective. It's all based on what we have lived through, what is our past, what we think, we deserve what we think we're going to get. And how we see the world.

6:04 It's how we see the world. If I see the world, like if I'm seeing the world as a really great place, Let's say, like I see the world as a very positive environment. When I go outside in the morning, I'm gonna see probably, you know, a woman, you know, with her with her stroller and a little baby smiling back at her. I'm probably gonna see a man walking down the street, maybe with his young son, and they're, you know, walking to the park. I might see, you know, somebody walking their dog that's carrying a stick. You know, it's so happy to carry that stick. I might see neighbors walking together going somewhere, or families walking to something in the park. Whatever it is, I'm going to see that. If I see the world as being a horrible place when I walk outside, I'm going to think that everybody around me is going to you know, burglarize, steal whatever.

6:53 I'm gonna wonder what people are up to. I'm gonna be watching people like a hawk, and I'm gonna all think that they have some sort of negative motivation. If I'm somewhere in the middle, I'm somewhere in the middle. It really does depend on what shade my glasses are. And I'm not saying that we all need to wear rose colored glasses. I'm just saying being aware that if we're wearing brown glasses all the time, it might put a perspective on life. It's about being open. It's about being there, being present in your play, not expectations or waiting for the other, shoot a job or whatever it is. But it's also about being a solid person. It's about having empathy. It's about having respect for other people. It's about showing respect to other people. It's about doing the right thing. It's not about being mean or cruel or violent.

7:47 Those things are, honestly, you know, psychotic and wrong and unhealthy and need to be treated. However, if we are a somewhat healthy individual that has begun to work on ourselves, even if you feel unmotivated, even if you feel like you have procrastination, even if you sometimes succeed in self sabotaging behavior, right, and you're like, oh, man, I got you know, I hadn't been drinking, and I had two glasses of wine. But I've been doing so good and I feel really bad about myself. But you're trying. Are you quit smoking and you gave in the other day, I had a couple of cigarettes. But you're back on track. That's all that matters. Stop beating yourself up about it. But if you're not doing anything to better yourself, that's a whole other scene because that's a big self sabotaging play that you are co creating, creating, you're really creating, and other people might be co creating with you. But again, remember you are the lead in this play. So let's discuss this. Who is influencing you and your decisions? And I think that's one of the biggest questions I always like to ask, you know, through different you know, ways of asking, through periods of time, in different sessions, But who's influencing your decisions? Are you influencing your decisions? Your family influencing your decision? Is your spouse significant other influencing your decision? Or you know, are are people that are outsiders?

9:14 Are they influencing your decision? Are you trying to be you know, you're trying to you know, move up and you're being influenced by people telling you you know things, or you're trying to move up in society, or you're trying to follow the lead of things, or you're looking at social media is influencing you or are you allowing your negative self talk to influencing you. When we are influenced by negative self talk, we reaffirm the negative thought processes about ourselves and in the process what we screw ourselves over. I mean just saying, and we normally hold ourselves back. So if somebody doesn't feel like they're competent enough, they're not going to do it. If somebody feels like they're not educated enough, they're not going to put themselves out there. If somebody believes that their employees, you know, don't like them, they're probably not going to go into the office or the business or the restaurant or wherever they're at. They're probably not going to do that because they don't want to deal with that. But the point is, I want you to start thinking about how often you were influenced not by your gut instinct, not by a positive, healthy manner, but more so influenced by that negative broken record.

10:33 I'm never going to add after this, this is never going to happen for me. You know, all the stuff from back in the day, influenced from maybe if dad or mom was somewhat toxic. Maybe you were raised, you know, in an environment where there was alcohol and drugs. You know, maybe you were raised in a family dynamic where they did not take care of you, They were not there for you. They could not take care of you because they could not take care of themselves. So you are being influenced constantly in the background by that child that needs help and needs understanding, that inner child that needs to find that their inner child again because they never had an inner child growing up in these types of childhoods, it is very tough and very challenging because there was no time to be a child.

11:17 And when you have no time to be a. Child and you have to adult in the very beginning, you miss out on the formative years of doing things that you need to do to actually honestly adult. And so that's why working with the inner child is so important, and that's something I do in my sessions with clients too, because I think it's so important. We can't we can't let that go. We have to address that. It has to be a part of our reality. So ask yourself again, who is influencing my decisions? Who am I trying to appear this way with somebody? Is my image more important to me than what I'm doing? I mean, really, get to the gut of this, because only you know the truth. Now, if you're working with me, I'll get it out of you.

11:59 But if you're not working with me, you have to get it out for yourself. And this can be hard because many of you block it. You don't want to hear it, you don't want to deal with it, you don't want to confront it, you don't want to see the truth, you don't want to deal with it. And also the mind is blocking it too, because if the mind stops you from catching it and figuring out why, then you can't change it. You can't make it work. You are stuck in a cycle pattern of frustration, lack of motivation, worried about what other people think, worried about what people are saying about you. Not a good place to be at, A very very uncomfortable, unhealthy place to be at that a lot of people find themselves, and a lot of people, well, it ruins a lot of people's lives. The second thing, inner voices, I'm not talking about your gut, because your gut is very important. That's an inner voice, that's very important. But many of you can't hear your gut because you're too busy listening to the other stuff. You got this whole group of judge, jury, and executioners that are telling you about how a horrible person you are every day, what bad stuff you do every day, and how this is never gonna end and this is gonna be your life for the rest of your life. So what are the voices saying to you?

13:11 What does that voice say to you, that little voice. I was kidding with the voices. I'm not saying that you have multiple voices and that should be a recognized if you are. And I'm not making fun of that. I'm saying that that is something that you need to recognize, if. That's the case. But many of you have this constant and I call it the judge that judge. It's like, I'm not good enough, I'm not pretty enough, I'm this, I'm that, I'm stupid, I'm slow. Whatever it is that you got in your head. You reaffirm that over and over and over again, and you do things to reaffirm that as well. You do things to reaffirm that as well, and that's something that we really need to be aware of and I need you to catch that. That's a big thing, and that's huge, the negative broken record, and we'll we'll do a show again.

13:52 I have negative broken record shows from a long time ago. But I think it needs to be done again. I mean I've got them from you know. I we started this in twenty twelve, the show Live Your True Life Perspectives, and you know, we had some shows back on that. I think that's something important to talk about. But I want you to start analyzing what are the negative thoughts that come through because you might not hear the voice anymore, you just feel it. Or you don't do something, or you don't do what you could do to make things better, or you don't show up at worked that day, or you don't work out, or you don't take care of yourself or you don't take a shower that day. There's something that's happening in that inner voice that's holding you back from being you another aspect and this is this is designed for you to listen to multiple times, because I think sometimes it's best for us to listen to something, listen to it again and read and commit that to memory. It might take three or four times. And that's why I'm making this podcast very short, because I want it to be something that you actually write down, that you journal, that you think about if you're at the gym, I want you to take notes on your phone when you're running, or on the elliptical, or on a cardio machine or what have you.

14:58 I want you to really think about this because this is These are life changing thoughts. These are things that you can change your life with no joke, I know for a fact. The third thing, what are you holding back from? So one of the things that we deal with is the fact that when we feel this way and we have this inner dialogue going, we're always holding ourselves back from something. There is no way, I mean, you can't have this negative dialogue and all this stuff and this critical dialogue and be doing everything you want and having no regret and putting yourself out there and it just doesn't. Yeah, it doesn't happen. So what are you holding yourself back from? Is it from success? Is it from trying something? Is it from the possibility of failure that could lead to success? And I don't believe that there is any failure or any success Okay, So it's like failure and success. I mean, I don't really know.

15:51 I think a lot of us are so scared of failure and then so keen on success. But success can be fleeting and failure. This but also I think it's from the same coin because I think what people consider a failure could actually be a success, and what people call success could be a failure. Example, you get an award for something, and it stops you from actually pursuing and continuing that direction because now you've gotten to this pinnacle you think in your career or your life, and you just stop working because there's nothing to prove anymore. So there you go. Or when somebody says no, or a project doesn't get affirmed, you have to change it or turnaround, or you have to focus on a different direction in your life, or you have to get out of something that mattered to you and you go into something else. But that changes everything that having you get out of it, you claim is a failure, probably wasn't a failure. So again, all the world is a stage. You know, your vocabulary is very important. Your vocabulary is one of the most important things in the whole wide world. Vocabulary, I mean think about it. I mean, like, vocabulary is everything. If I walked in and said, hey, you're a sled or I walk in and say, hey, sweetheart, how you doing, there's two different little you know, directions on that, right, But it's vocabulary. You know. If I walk in and I'm like, oh this is horrible. Life sucks, you know, it's the same shit different day I'm walking in. If I walk in, I go, well, hey, I'm up for something today. Let's

17:21 see how it goes. It doesn't have to be Pollyanna and Rainbow. It can just be more well, not taking things so serious, allowing things to come through, allowing things to happen in a way. Because if we are writing the play and we're writing the dialogue and the action as being a problem, if the dialogue is constantly about this other shoe is about to drop, and there's this constant drama saga, right, I mean I know that it's so funny. I don't know if you've watched those cooking shows lately, the cooking shows on the Cooking Channel where they have to make like a cake or do these cookies in like thirty minutes, and they make all this fake drama about how somebody doesn't have a recipe right, or somebody doesn't have an ingredient, and then they turn up the music they and people, oh, oh my god, this didn't work, or you know, the frosting on my whatever didn't work, and this is horrible and I have to like do this again, you know, and it is such fake drama. However, that's kind of what we're doing in our own life, right, That's kind of what we're doing in our own life as we take something. And yes, there are stressful moments in our life. There are many of us are going through a lot right now. But the way we look at it defines how we deal with it. The way we look at the situation defines how we deal with it. If I look at the situation as doable, I'm able to do something. If I look at the situation as overwhelming, impossible, never gonna happen, this is a horrible situation.

18:50 Well guess what I got. I'm going to flub it up, I'm gonna screw it up, I'm gonna be stressed out, I'm gonna be angry. You got it. All the above is what's gonna happen for me. So think about that. We're gonna do. I'm gonna do other podcasts about this because we'll go into specifics, because each thing deserves a specific show, an independent show of its own. But these are the concepts as we talked about. So, you know, what are you holding yourself out from? Think about it? Are you scared of failure and in the process of that, you're not having successes if you're scared of how you're gonna look or how you're gonna appear to other people, and you're not showing up and so instead of you know, instead of being able to be there and impart knowledge and be there, people just kind of see.

19:37 You as a no show. I mean, you know, no shows in life don't really develop connections and they don't get people to be there for them. They don't they're not they don't have people that will trust them because they haven't been around. There's no consistency if you're if you're not consistent, what do you have Without consistency? What is there? I mean, you know, somebody might say they're gonna do something one day and turn around and not do it. It's like after a while, you're just like, yeah, I can't believe anything. You're saying, because everything you said has never come to fruition. So consistency is key, even if it's small consistency. It's kind of the concept of going to the gym right. And I tell my clients when we are working on the gym situation as the health component, I say, don't go over there for three hours, lose it, run all this time, beat yourself up, come home and can't move for six weeks. I said, get over there, do twenty minutes, go for twenty minutes day one, Day two, go for twenty five minutes, Day three, go for thirty and then keep it at that for a few days, and maybe the next week you increase it. But show up right and show up for your life. It's about showing up for your life. How are you going to show up for your life? And one of the things that I've realized is many of you have no clue about regret. Regret is a doozy. It's one of the worst things I think you can possibly have, way worse than failure, failure and regret. Failure is like, you know, failure is like a five star hotel. Regret that's bad.

21:11 Regret is bad. It's like being on the street. It's bad because regret is horrible, because it is one of the worst things. Because the thing is about mostly about regret. There's something that we could have possibly done. There's something that we could have possibly be done to change the outcome. And also, you know, it's not ever one and done. You know, I know people say, oh, it didn't happen. It's not one and done. I mean, you got more chances, it's your play, give another chance, do it again. Because remember, regret is based on self sabotage, procrastination, not following through, listening to people that do not have your best at heart, listening to people who are trying to make you into something that you're not, listening to people that have no idea who they are and should not be giving you any advice if they're not living their life right as far as healthy and consider it and empathic and caring and loving and also compassionate and being truthful. I think that's part of it too, being truthful about their own feelings, their own fears. You know, somebody that can be honest is so important. So if you are taking advice to somebody, you know, go to somebody that can actually be honest, not living in a cloud, you know, not living in

22:41 another world. You know, really, somebody that can be honest about whatever successes or failures are, whatever they feel like maybe hasn't happened for them in their life. Somebody that's not handing you a bill of goods. Because I think a lot of times we compare ourselves to others that say they have all this stuff, but they don't, or they might have one piece of the puzzle but all the other stuff's missing. You know, somebody can have a lot of money and literally have nothing else, and it's interesting, and I think many of you understand. It's like when somebody has a lot of money and nothing else, they're always talking about their money. They're always talking about their money and what they're buying and what they're getting and what they own and how much it costs, because that's all they have. There is nothing else. Otherwise they wouldn't be talking about their money, they'd be talking about something else.

23:33 It's just like when. Somebody all they feel they have is their good looks, they're going to talk about how everybody likes me, and everybody's entranced by me, and everybody wants me and all that stuff. But again, if you had more to life, at least, if you thought you had more to life than your looks, you'd be talking about other things. And that's where value comes in. Where is your personal value at Personal value is not defined from looks. Personal ves value is not defined from money. Personal value is not defined from items. Personal value is defined within yourself. Not narcissistically, not self centered, not sociopathically. No, no, none of that, none of that. We're not We're not playing that game here. That's not what we deal with here.

24:20 Okay. So we look at it from a realistic point of view of what we are and what we're doing. Okay. And so I mean, you know, I think that is a very interesting concept, and a lot of people don't really understand or take that into consideration when they're thinking about, you know. What is it that we have, what is it that I need to be? And looking at people, somebody is giving you some sort of advice, friend or family member whatever. Remember everybody if they're if they're a friend or family member, yes, I mean you can listen, but really look at their own lifestyle too. I really recommend listening to your gut. I mean, if you're a healthy end of visual that has worked on themselves and realize that you have things that you have to work on, and you're listening to this show and it resonates with you, and you're not judging other people or making yourself out to be the victim. I think you're in a pretty good place to recognize when someone should offer you a help, or you should listen to somebody or take their criticism. I think really looking toward yourself in this and looking at where's my self sabotage?

25:24 Where is my procrastination? Where am I not following through? What are the voices telling me? That voice, what's that negative broken record saying, and really focusing on that and writing that down and recognizing when that gets in your way of doing something. Okay, you got this voice comes out or you think, oh I'm lazier on this, or I'm that, or I'm not smart enough, or I can't get this done, or they're not gonna light me, and then you stop and you don't do something. Remember that voice is stopping you from making changes in your life. That voice isn't. Getting in the way of you creating happiness and healthy experiences in your life. And that voice is actually going to aid in a bet and your regret, And so I think just thinking about that, look at that, because regret is the last thing we want. We don't want regret.

26:09 We don't want to have a bunch of regret. That's one of the things we really don't want to have. You don't want to be holding a bunch of stock and regret. And last, but not least, is like, just look at what you're dealing with in your life. We all deal with drama and stress and trauma. Are there some areas of life that we're taking too seriously? Are there some areas of life that we can step back and look at and analyze and see more of a different perspective of it, more of a humorous perspective, or more of just you know, not a horrible experience. Just Okay, this is happening. I'm gonna make it through it. I'm gonna get through the other side. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna be successful in getting through this. It might not be easy, but I'm gonna be successful in my ability to get through this. And I think that in and of itself can change your trajectory and can also augment this play that you're in Remember, all the world is a stage, it's your play. How do you want your play to be? How do you want to see that?

27:06 How do you want to get through that? How do you want to make that? Because you're the lead, and ask yourself, how do you want it to be? How positive do I want it to be? How healthy do I want it to be? How amazing do I want it to be? What are some things that I need to let go of in order to have this? The self sabotage or the victim or whatever it is that we're creating our life? How do we let go of that? Start being aware of the things that you need to let go of to create the life that you've always wanted. I hope this show is connected with you, this podcast and remember the world is a stage. And if you remember that all the world is a stage, it puts a lot of other things in perspective as well, doesn't it?

27:51 Because it is it's a very interesting dynamic with people playing lots of different roles. But remember, your play is your play. It's up to you to create the best play possible. If you haven't already check out my website, go to Ashleyburgess dot com. Ashleyb e ERGEs dot com. We got some new blogs every single week. Check them out. They're really good. There are good and they're timely, and that's what's important. Some of this stuff is very important, very timely, and very necessary in the moment. Also, check out the YouTube channel. We put up a couple of videos at least every week on YouTube and that's Ashley Burgess YouTube Life coach Ashley Burgess.

28:36 You can find me. We have almost two hundred thousand subscribers, so that is good. And then the podcast here. Check out the podcast on spreaker. I heart Apple for sure. Anywhere that you listen to podcasts, you can check it out. I hope this show is out. Please share it with anybody that you need, that you think needs to hear this message, that's ready for this message right on the verge of it, or needs it right now. I would really appreciate it because that's what they're going to appreciate you and thank you because that's exactly what they're needing. This is something to listen to a couple of times over just to get it memorized, write it down, get a notebook. This is good stuff, positive stuff, because I want you to have the life that you want. I want you to get rid of that lack of motivation. I want you to be front and center, and I want you to believe in the power and the ability that you have. Stay tuned, we'll have a new show coming up next week. And if you haven't already subscribed to the YouTube and don't forget to live your true life, and you've been listening to an episode of the Ashley Burgess podcast, take care and have a great one.