July 7, 2026

10 Dating Red Flags You Can't Afford to Ignore! [Ep: 816]

10 Dating Red Flags You Can't Afford to Ignore! [Ep: 816]
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Are you currently dating? Trying to meet the right person? Are you currently on a dating app and working to meet someone who you connect with? In today's podcast, I am breaking down the 10 biggest dating red flags that can lead to manipulation, heartbreak, and unhealthy relationship patterns. From too much attention and love bombing to bringing up marriage on the second date, to jealousy, emotional manipulation, and hidden emotional baggage. Join me as I explain what these red flags look like, why we often overlook them, and how to recognize them before becoming emotionally and financially invested. Learn how to recognize unhealthy relationship patterns, how to protect yourself from toxic dynamics, and find healthier relationships based on trust and respect.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-ashley-berges-show--1272964/support.

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You're in a good place now you are listening to

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Perspectives with Ashley Burgess.

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In today's podcast, I'd like to discuss the ten biggest

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dating red flags. Thank you for tuning into the Ashley

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Burgess Podcast. Many of you may be dating on different

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various dating sites and putting yourself out there, and so

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knowing these red flags can safeguard you and also keep

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you from wasting a lot of time because I know

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many of you are looking for that relationship, You're looking

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for that spark, You're looking for that connection, and you

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know wanting to find the right relationship that works for you.

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So let's start talking about these dating red flags that

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we need to be aware of. A lot of times,

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with these red flags, we've overlooked them, we didn't see them,

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We kind of buried them under the rug. Oh, we

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just thought, hey, things will get better. But these are

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very important to think about. They're very important to see

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because we can actually do ourselves a great service by

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seeing these and moving on to find someone that will

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actually be healthier for us to be in a long

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term relationship.

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The first one is what we call.

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Love bombing, and many of you are very familiar with

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the terms, some of you are not, and love bombing

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is just a lot of you know, just a lot

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of attention, a lot of gifts, a lot of overly

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doting on somebody. It almost feels like you have that

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perfect relationship. If you're not really aware of what love

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bombing is, you know, and you feel like you haven't

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gotten a lot of tension and past relationships, you can

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fall for love bombing quite easily because that person's constantly

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listening to you, constantly listening to what you have to say.

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They think you're amazing, they talk about how great you are.

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They put you on this pedestal. I mean, it's a

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great feeling. And if you haven't had a lot of

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attention or positive attention, you can get sucked into this.

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Love Bombing is also gift giving. Sometimes somebody might be

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giving you a lot of gifts or taking you on

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a lot of trips, you know, like literally a whirlwind.

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Romance fits into the categorization of love bombing. It's very

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fast paced, it's very quick romance. There's a lot of sex,

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there's a lot of connection, there's all this feeling, there's

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a lot of really putting you on that pedestal, and

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so I need you to be aware of that, because

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the problem with love bombing, as anything this excessive, it's

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going to stop, right, It's going to stop it eventually.

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Like I talk about, you're gonna get crumbs over time,

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the love bombing stops once they've gotten inundated in your life,

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once you're latched to this person, all of a sudden,

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the love bombing's over and you're getting crumbs. You're receiving

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small bits of attention very different than what you were

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receiving before. Many of us fall into the trap of thinking, well,

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it's something i've done. It's because something I've done or

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something I did wrong has stopped me from getting this

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attention that I had before. But it's not that at all.

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It has nothing to really do with you. This is

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either a learned response or or just kind of a

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just part of a way of life to get into

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someone's life. And so you don't realize this is how

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that person acts in every relationship.

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It's not a special situation.

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It's how they act in every relationship, and eventually, over

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time they begin to pull back and they become who

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they really are and who they've always been. It was

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just the love bombing in the beginning was not true.

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That was a false narrative. It is a false creation, right,

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And it's not until later on with the Croms and

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the pulling back and the discrediting, and what they said

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was cute before is not cute anymore. And what they

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used to think was amazing with you, they criticized and

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they make fun of and they judge you becomes the

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new Croms. And then the attention becomes smaller and smaller,

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less and less, and you keep trying to grapple for

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that attention when you don't realize that it's not really

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within your realm.

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It's not like you can change that.

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They've just gotten what they wanted, They've gotten you where

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they want you, and now they're going to give you

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very little. And so with something to really think about,

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because if you're getting a ton of attention and it

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seems very different from past relationships, something to be aware

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of and not to fall into. Oh, this is like

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a Hollywood romance, look at it with deep honesty. Another

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aspect that I want to talk about is future, the

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future planning and a lot of these relationships that we

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need to be aware of the person, the other person

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who's constantly talking about the future, what can be, what

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will be? You know, Oh, let's have children, let's get married,

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let's live here, let's have this vehicle, let's do that,

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all these things, and they're preparing for this future. They're

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planning this future, this long term relationship, and we're only

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in a few dates, maybe even just maybe a month

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or two, and we're already planning the life, the entire

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life together out And those are always red flags too,

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because I consider this some of it future faking. That's

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a term that's used a lot of future faking, where

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we're planning this future, but it's not necessarily going to

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come to pass, and so you're already kind of putting

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your eggs in this basket of this relationship, believing this

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is going to happen, when in reality this might not

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happen a lot of times with people who have a

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lot of narcissistic tendencies, a lot of self centeredness, and

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some cluster b dynamic outside of narcissism, the tendency of

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doing this future faking, and unfortunately no, it.

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Is across the board. So this is what they do

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in every relationship. They're very quickly because they put you

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on a.

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Pedestal, and sometimes if somebody's dealing with BPD tendencies, they

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see you as the best person alive. You're the favorite person,

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You've done no wrong, so they are fantasizing in this relationship.

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But eventually, as we are human, we do something that

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upsets them and they pull you off that pedestal. So

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being really aware of these future promises, this long term

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kind of concept of what's going to happen here, taking

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it day by day is so much better not making

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these plans, not thinking so far down in the future,

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but being honest and just taking it day by day

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and seeing that person and understanding who they really are

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in a day by day setting. I also think sometimes too,

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is that we have to look at the person and

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understand their past. And sometimes it's hard to get answers

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about people's past. It's hard to get just even simple

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answers about family dynamic past relationships, past marriages, those types

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of things, and so being able to really understand where

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someone's coming from needs to The only way really to

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get that is to have honesty and for everybody to

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come to the table and be honest. And I found

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that a lot of times some people are not honest

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about the situation. They're not honest about their past. They're

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not honest about their past relationships. And understanding that and

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so seeing if somebody really is being honest, Seeing if

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somebody has had the challenging conversations with you or talked

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about things that's not really you know, all amazing or unicorns, rainbows,

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even some really challenging conversations is very helpful when you're

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looking at getting into a relationship with somebody, because you

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realize that they actually can be honest, They can be honest,

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and honesty is so important. And I think nowadays and

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are so media lifestyles where we're looking at the images

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of people and they're putting the images that they want

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to show out is one thing. But I don't want

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to get into relationship with somebody like that, you know.

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I want to be in a relationship with somebody that's honest,

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that talks about their honest past, that's able.

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To do that.

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But I also want to flip the script on this too.

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I want you to be aware of if you're dealing

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with somebody that is love bombing you and you are

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telling them everything about your past, please be careful Okay,

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this is a big red flag because a lot of

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times what happens is they put you on this pedestal,

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you feel so good about it. They ask you all

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these questions, You tell them the truth about past relationships,

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past marriages, whatever. Now they have this data bank of

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everything about you and they can use this later on.

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So when the love bombing ends, this facade ends, right,

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this concreated narrative ends. Now they have all this blackmail

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information on you, anything that they can use, anything they

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can judge you with. And that's really scary because when

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you're getting all that attention and somebody thinks you're like

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the cats me out, you automatically assume that this is

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going to last forever. You don't realize that they're going

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to use those things against you. So really watch yourself

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and the communication and the stuff that you talk about,

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especially when it comes to like kind of some deep

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things that you haven't shared with other people. I don't

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think I'd be sharing it in the beginning of any relationship.

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I think that people, over time, you can begin to

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trust people more and more, and over that trust you're

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able to speak your truth or talk about your emotions

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or feelings. But I think in a very early relationship,

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I think it's too early. I think the first six

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months is way too early to open up about really

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deep things about your life. And we have to be

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prepared because if we're dealing with a narcissist, a malignant narcissist,

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a covert narcissist that's using love bombing techniques to get

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your attention, this is very scary because once they get

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their hands on this information and they will use it

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forever ammunition.

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And I coined that.

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Phrase, I would say, like six or seven years ago,

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maybe eight forever ammunition. And what that means is they

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have these things on you and they use it against

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you for the rest of the relationship, for the rest

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of your life. So if you're married to them and

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you stay forever, this will be something that comes up

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every single argument, every single fight. You can never get

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away from forever ammunition. It will always be they will

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always go back to their will of the things that

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you told them in confidence, to use against you later on,

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to find fault in you, to criticize you, and to

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ultimately basically find you as the blame component in any

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sort of relationship issue. Because what happens with these people

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is they are always the victim. They're always the one

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that was trying really hard, that was doing all these things,

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and you've become the bad person, so they use these

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things against you later on. And in the beginning, you

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thought you just had this person that really cared about

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you and wanted to talk to you and wanted to

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hear about your feelings, and you're like, wow, I can

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really open up. And I'm sorry to tell you there

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are people out there that you can. But they have

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to prove over the test of time, okay, and it

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can't be this extreme love bombing.

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We have to see through it.

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So we have to put the ego aside, like, oh,

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I finally found somebody. I know they're giving the attention

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I deserve. Be honest with yourself. Get honest with yourself.

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People will only give you so much attention.

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Okay.

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If somebody's giving you over amount of attention, you really

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need to think about why that is. You really need

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to be honest with yourself and you just see through

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the games, see through the manipulation, and understand why that is.

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And sometimes it takes us to get our ego out

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of it and realize, Okay, Hollywood is Hollywood. It's fictitious.

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It's just fictitious stuff. There are no relationships like these

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Hollywood love affairs. Those doesn't exist or it's not true.

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And so to try to you know, oh, this is

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like pretty woman, This is like exactly like that. Okay,

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bad concept, bad film, not reality. We have to be

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aware of certain situations. So that's a very big thing

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to remember. Also questionable lifestyles. And this goes into that

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pretty woman concept that I want to talk about many

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of you and I've even had clients where you end

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up meeting an escort, a stripper, and you believe that

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you can sweep them off their feet and you can

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help them change their lifestyle and get them on the

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straight and narrow, and you know, oh, it's this beautiful

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love romantic you know film concept where you know, guy

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meets you know stripper that actually moonlights as you know, escort,

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and you know, we had this lifestyle and next thing

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you know, she gets out of escort and she becomes

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my wife and has my children and some of this

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amazing love affair reminds you of a pretty woman.

235
00:11:41.399 --> 00:11:42.120
It's so great.

236
00:11:42.120 --> 00:11:46.480
Oh my gosh, not real, Okay, not real, And that

237
00:11:46.600 --> 00:11:47.480
whole savior thing.

238
00:11:47.519 --> 00:11:48.360
We have to be careful.

239
00:11:48.399 --> 00:11:50.720
So if you're dating someone and you found yourself in

240
00:11:50.759 --> 00:11:53.879
this savior complex where you're trying to save them or

241
00:11:53.960 --> 00:11:56.240
take care of them, this is a red flag for

242
00:11:56.320 --> 00:11:58.919
you to realize that this is part of your issue here.

243
00:11:59.159 --> 00:12:01.200
And so all was to see the red flags on

244
00:12:01.240 --> 00:12:06.720
both sides, whether it's them projecting or manipulating or love bombing,

245
00:12:06.799 --> 00:12:09.320
or us trying to jump in and be you know

246
00:12:09.399 --> 00:12:11.799
as people call it, Captain Sabaho or what have you,

247
00:12:12.000 --> 00:12:14.000
where we feel like we have to save this person.

248
00:12:15.000 --> 00:12:18.360
Because relationships are challenging enough much, let's trying to take

249
00:12:18.360 --> 00:12:22.679
somebody out of this type of career path. Also, remember

250
00:12:22.720 --> 00:12:24.519
a lot of people that are in this career path

251
00:12:25.000 --> 00:12:27.200
might not have a lot of respect for the opposite

252
00:12:27.240 --> 00:12:29.159
sex as well. I mean because a lot of times

253
00:12:29.200 --> 00:12:32.480
they got into this career path because of abuse from

254
00:12:33.240 --> 00:12:36.080
an opposite sex family member or parent, And so we

255
00:12:36.120 --> 00:12:38.879
need to be aware of those types of things. Also,

256
00:12:39.080 --> 00:12:42.519
strings attached relationships are very important to realize. So if

257
00:12:42.559 --> 00:12:46.159
somebody needs something from you, they need something from me,

258
00:12:46.240 --> 00:12:48.080
you need to really think about that. Do they need

259
00:12:48.120 --> 00:12:50.879
this from me or are they in love with me?

260
00:12:51.159 --> 00:12:55.159
And usually if they need something, that might not mean

261
00:12:55.159 --> 00:12:56.080
that they're in love with you.

262
00:12:56.080 --> 00:12:57.879
You might be a means to an end.

263
00:12:57.960 --> 00:13:00.039
And so again we have to let go of the

264
00:13:00.159 --> 00:13:04.639
ego and see truth in situations and not everybody that

265
00:13:04.720 --> 00:13:07.440
needs something is not in love with you. But we

266
00:13:07.519 --> 00:13:10.440
have to look at the fact that relationships are challenging enough.

267
00:13:11.000 --> 00:13:14.960
We need to let go of relationships that are not genuine,

268
00:13:15.919 --> 00:13:19.399
they're not truthful, and also let go of our ego

269
00:13:19.559 --> 00:13:22.720
in these situations to realize, Okay, because if somebody doesn't

270
00:13:22.759 --> 00:13:25.159
need you for anything, they don't really need you for

271
00:13:25.240 --> 00:13:28.399
anything at all, that's great. That means they actually care

272
00:13:28.440 --> 00:13:30.879
about you. Okay, they actually care about you and they

273
00:13:31.000 --> 00:13:34.799
like you being around. And that's where I get my clients.

274
00:13:34.840 --> 00:13:37.399
To get to my clients, we get there where we

275
00:13:37.399 --> 00:13:40.320
don't need anybody, We don't have any like issues of

276
00:13:40.360 --> 00:13:43.240
loneliness or fear any of that. We actually are feeling

277
00:13:43.320 --> 00:13:45.200
really good in our own skin. And so when we

278
00:13:45.279 --> 00:13:47.200
meet somebody, when I when I work with my clients,

279
00:13:47.240 --> 00:13:49.440
when they meet somebody, it's because they want them in

280
00:13:49.440 --> 00:13:49.840
their life.

281
00:13:49.879 --> 00:13:51.440
They don't need them in their life. And that's a

282
00:13:51.440 --> 00:13:52.039
big difference.

283
00:13:52.039 --> 00:13:56.279
So be aware if somebody has nothing to lose and

284
00:13:56.320 --> 00:13:59.320
they need everything and they don't have anything. I mean,

285
00:13:59.320 --> 00:14:02.159
it's nice to help people, but again, you're kind of

286
00:14:02.200 --> 00:14:05.320
setting yourself up as a savior who is going to

287
00:14:05.360 --> 00:14:09.200
eventually get hurt because this person is probably seeing either

288
00:14:09.240 --> 00:14:13.879
the safety, the security, the financial, the citizenship, whatever that

289
00:14:14.000 --> 00:14:17.000
is that they are needing. They're seeing that, and you

290
00:14:17.080 --> 00:14:19.080
are a means to the end and they might not

291
00:14:19.159 --> 00:14:21.519
step on your head to get to the next level,

292
00:14:21.840 --> 00:14:22.720
but some of them might.

293
00:14:24.559 --> 00:14:24.879
Also.

294
00:14:24.919 --> 00:14:27.519
Another indication that I find as a major red flag

295
00:14:27.600 --> 00:14:30.440
is someone that has very little friends so or no friends,

296
00:14:30.720 --> 00:14:33.159
literally no friends. And it's not that we don't I

297
00:14:33.159 --> 00:14:35.320
know that friendships take a long time to cultivate and

298
00:14:35.360 --> 00:14:38.639
it can be challenging. But if someone doesn't have really

299
00:14:38.679 --> 00:14:41.360
anybody that can call on, sometimes that can mean that

300
00:14:41.360 --> 00:14:44.279
they burn out everybody else in their in their group,

301
00:14:44.440 --> 00:14:45.799
you know, And so we have to be aware of

302
00:14:45.799 --> 00:14:48.639
that because I think sometimes you may feel sorry or

303
00:14:48.960 --> 00:14:52.080
feel bad for them, and so you start being everything

304
00:14:52.159 --> 00:14:55.480
to them. And remember, in a relationship, in a romantic relationship,

305
00:14:56.200 --> 00:14:59.120
just like in a friendship, just like in a partnership

306
00:14:59.120 --> 00:15:02.960
and a business, right you can't be everything to that person.

307
00:15:03.320 --> 00:15:04.279
There are roles.

308
00:15:05.320 --> 00:15:08.840
There are different persons for different situations. For example, you know,

309
00:15:08.960 --> 00:15:12.159
I'm married, I don't go to my husband for every conversation.

310
00:15:13.080 --> 00:15:15.960
I have friends, I have outside resources, I have people

311
00:15:16.000 --> 00:15:17.360
I talk to you, I have people I talk to

312
00:15:17.360 --> 00:15:20.360
about various different things. I don't put all of my

313
00:15:20.519 --> 00:15:23.279
stuff on one person and assume that person's going to

314
00:15:23.320 --> 00:15:27.000
be there for everything. That is a misnomer about marriage.

315
00:15:27.039 --> 00:15:28.840
That is the reason why a lot of people get

316
00:15:28.840 --> 00:15:31.279
divorced because they say, well, they don't want to hear

317
00:15:31.320 --> 00:15:33.039
about my work, or they don't want to give me

318
00:15:33.080 --> 00:15:35.320
attention about this, or they don't do this or that.

319
00:15:35.600 --> 00:15:37.879
Well, they might not be interested at all in that. Now.

320
00:15:38.000 --> 00:15:41.720
I agree that if you are married to somebody, you

321
00:15:41.799 --> 00:15:44.440
should care enough about their wellbeing, but you might not

322
00:15:44.480 --> 00:15:48.240
want to hear everything about their work or whatever, or

323
00:15:48.279 --> 00:15:50.879
that you might not even have this spiritual agreement with them,

324
00:15:50.919 --> 00:15:54.080
like you might have different spiritual or religious concepts. You

325
00:15:54.159 --> 00:15:57.159
might have different ideas about what's going on in our world.

326
00:15:57.440 --> 00:15:59.240
You might be more out of the box, you know

327
00:15:59.279 --> 00:16:01.360
what I'm saying, So be hard to share with somebody

328
00:16:01.360 --> 00:16:03.480
that doesn't really want to see that type of concept

329
00:16:03.639 --> 00:16:08.879
you have to have outside people to facilitate connection and

330
00:16:09.120 --> 00:16:12.159
having that conversation. That might not involve your spouse or

331
00:16:12.159 --> 00:16:14.960
significant other, you know, your wife, your husband, that sort

332
00:16:15.000 --> 00:16:15.279
of thing.

333
00:16:15.799 --> 00:16:16.759
But if somebody.

334
00:16:16.440 --> 00:16:20.480
Doesn't have any outlet and they're looking to you for everything,

335
00:16:20.559 --> 00:16:24.320
that is a major red flag. And that's also going

336
00:16:24.360 --> 00:16:26.600
to be very challenging because that person is going to

337
00:16:26.720 --> 00:16:30.720
probably become very jealous of your time, very jealous of

338
00:16:30.759 --> 00:16:33.519
the people you talk to, very jealous of the time

339
00:16:33.519 --> 00:16:36.080
that you're on the phone, very jealous of your work,

340
00:16:36.240 --> 00:16:39.480
very jealous of anybody else in your life. They will

341
00:16:39.519 --> 00:16:42.200
try to get rid of anybody else in your life

342
00:16:42.440 --> 00:16:47.120
in an effort to keep you only to themselves. Now

343
00:16:47.159 --> 00:16:49.320
that's a big red flag too. So if somebody's are

344
00:16:49.519 --> 00:16:53.960
overly getting jealous and you just started dating, and I'm talking,

345
00:16:54.000 --> 00:16:56.559
I mean, like jealousy is it's it's tough. I mean,

346
00:16:56.879 --> 00:16:59.320
you know, we've all felt it, but we've all many

347
00:16:59.320 --> 00:17:00.960
of us have worked let go of that. But if

348
00:17:01.000 --> 00:17:06.160
somebody is super jealous and very controlling, this is a

349
00:17:06.160 --> 00:17:09.279
big red flag. Or if they're automatically thinking the negative

350
00:17:09.359 --> 00:17:11.920
about you already, this is not good. That means that

351
00:17:12.000 --> 00:17:13.759
they have been burned, they've been hurt, they have not

352
00:17:13.920 --> 00:17:17.599
dealt with their baggage, they have not dealt with their past.

353
00:17:18.039 --> 00:17:23.680
They're putting this past stuff onto you, onto you, now,

354
00:17:23.720 --> 00:17:27.160
remember that. So you know, I've had several clients recently

355
00:17:27.200 --> 00:17:29.400
who have been in relationships and at the beginning it

356
00:17:29.480 --> 00:17:34.079
started off okay, but over time that other person was

357
00:17:34.160 --> 00:17:36.920
making comments about how they reminded them of their ex,

358
00:17:37.039 --> 00:17:38.799
or this is something my ex would do, or my

359
00:17:38.920 --> 00:17:42.720
narcissistic ex would do that. And you know my clients,

360
00:17:42.759 --> 00:17:45.400
I mean, we all have a few tendencies here and there,

361
00:17:45.400 --> 00:17:48.799
but you know, I don't have any true, freaking solid

362
00:17:48.920 --> 00:17:52.039
narcissistic clients to say, oh, this is that these people

363
00:17:52.039 --> 00:17:54.799
were projecting on them because they hadn't worked on their

364
00:17:54.839 --> 00:17:58.200
own baggage from their past marriage. Now, we have to

365
00:17:58.200 --> 00:18:00.519
be careful. So if somebody starts to project on us

366
00:18:00.599 --> 00:18:04.359
early on, that's a big warning sign because that means

367
00:18:04.359 --> 00:18:09.680
that they're not self aware, bingo, not self aware. They're

368
00:18:09.720 --> 00:18:12.440
so unself aware that they believe you are the problem,

369
00:18:12.680 --> 00:18:16.559
not them. They try to push that onto you, and

370
00:18:16.599 --> 00:18:18.240
they keep doing it because they don't want to take

371
00:18:18.279 --> 00:18:22.480
responsibility for their actions. But then they lose so much

372
00:18:22.480 --> 00:18:25.599
sight that they believe that you're responsible for everything, condemning

373
00:18:25.640 --> 00:18:26.240
you for things.

374
00:18:26.319 --> 00:18:27.880
And these are the things being.

375
00:18:27.720 --> 00:18:30.279
Aware of because sometimes this can start as early as

376
00:18:30.319 --> 00:18:33.319
six months in, it can even start before that. We

377
00:18:33.480 --> 00:18:35.880
have to see what somebody's gonna do. And the only

378
00:18:35.920 --> 00:18:40.279
way to see what somebody's gonna do is consistency and time.

379
00:18:40.880 --> 00:18:46.920
Consistency and time over a consistent period of time, putting

380
00:18:46.920 --> 00:18:50.440
people in different situations. Will we see the truth too,

381
00:18:52.279 --> 00:18:55.160
watching it and being aware of it and not sweeping

382
00:18:55.160 --> 00:18:58.319
it under the rug. If somebody says something or does something,

383
00:18:58.680 --> 00:19:00.640
instead of being like, oh, they had a bad day

384
00:19:00.880 --> 00:19:03.400
or I mean, I'm not talking about every single thing

385
00:19:03.440 --> 00:19:09.319
that's said, but I'm saying when somebody is projecting or

386
00:19:09.400 --> 00:19:14.319
finding fault in you, especially very early on, that's that's

387
00:19:14.359 --> 00:19:17.640
a red flag. If it comes down to you being

388
00:19:17.680 --> 00:19:20.799
the reason for everything, you're the problem, You're the issue,

389
00:19:21.279 --> 00:19:23.960
that's a red flag too. And then it needs you

390
00:19:24.000 --> 00:19:27.440
to look at how much are they contributing to the relationship,

391
00:19:28.000 --> 00:19:30.720
and what are they contributing to the relationship. How much

392
00:19:30.759 --> 00:19:34.079
are they actually contributing to this relationship?

393
00:19:34.680 --> 00:19:35.440
How much.

394
00:19:37.599 --> 00:19:40.839
How much are they actually contributing is there an equality

395
00:19:40.920 --> 00:19:45.160
here or is there an inequality here? And in the beginning,

396
00:19:45.200 --> 00:19:47.519
if there's love bombing going on, you're not gonna see

397
00:19:47.519 --> 00:19:49.400
that because they're going to be giving a lot and

398
00:19:49.440 --> 00:19:52.039
giving you a lot of attention, and that's going to

399
00:19:52.119 --> 00:19:54.279
feel really good, but you're not going to realize that

400
00:19:54.400 --> 00:19:57.200
this is kind of a front that's about to go away.

401
00:19:57.880 --> 00:20:02.200
Once they get really nestled in to where they're going

402
00:20:02.200 --> 00:20:05.920
to be in your life, they get super nestled in,

403
00:20:06.599 --> 00:20:09.720
super involved, and next thing you know, you just love

404
00:20:09.799 --> 00:20:13.200
this and you're rolling all over this attention, and eventually

405
00:20:13.200 --> 00:20:15.799
that starts going away and you become addicted to it

406
00:20:15.880 --> 00:20:18.160
like drugs. You were like, it's like crack cocaine. You

407
00:20:18.160 --> 00:20:20.400
would become addicted to it. And then what they do

408
00:20:20.480 --> 00:20:22.599
is they just dull you off a little bit, dull

409
00:20:22.640 --> 00:20:25.200
you off a little bit, pull it back, pull back,

410
00:20:26.039 --> 00:20:27.440
and then you're you know, and then you're going with

411
00:20:27.519 --> 00:20:30.880
it through with drawls and then the sex starts being

412
00:20:30.920 --> 00:20:32.880
a currency as well. Right, So, the sex was all

413
00:20:32.920 --> 00:20:35.000
the time, And I remember a client of mine told me,

414
00:20:35.000 --> 00:20:36.519
he's like, I could have sex with her anytime I

415
00:20:36.559 --> 00:20:38.720
wanted to. I mean, it was amazing she would literally

416
00:20:38.759 --> 00:20:42.359
cook naked. She would cook naked, or she would wear

417
00:20:42.440 --> 00:20:44.799
lingerie and cook for me and all this stuff, and

418
00:20:44.799 --> 00:20:46.920
this is amazing. And I was like, oh my god,

419
00:20:46.960 --> 00:20:48.279
I found the woman of my dream.

420
00:20:48.400 --> 00:20:49.200
She cooks for me.

421
00:20:49.240 --> 00:20:53.440
I come home, she's in you know, lingerie and all

422
00:20:53.480 --> 00:20:55.559
this stuff, and then she wants to have sex. And

423
00:20:55.559 --> 00:20:57.599
then and then eventually guess what that drives up.

424
00:20:57.720 --> 00:20:58.359
I'm not in the mood.

425
00:20:58.359 --> 00:20:59.640
I don't want to do that. I'm not in the mood.

426
00:20:59.640 --> 00:21:01.759
I don't don't feel good. Oh you gotta take a shower.

427
00:21:02.240 --> 00:21:04.039
All these things are going on. So I want you

428
00:21:04.160 --> 00:21:06.119
to think about that, because the beginning is so great,

429
00:21:06.160 --> 00:21:08.920
because you get really inundated and you're telling this person

430
00:21:09.000 --> 00:21:14.240
all your secrets, right, be careful. And I'm not saying

431
00:21:14.279 --> 00:21:16.119
that we can't have good dates. I'm not saying we

432
00:21:16.119 --> 00:21:19.279
can't meet the right person. We can, but we don't

433
00:21:19.319 --> 00:21:23.720
want to get straddled and problematic and set up with

434
00:21:23.799 --> 00:21:25.920
these people that are going to suck the life right

435
00:21:25.960 --> 00:21:29.519
out of us. Another indication that I find interesting is

436
00:21:29.559 --> 00:21:32.799
somebody that doesn't speak about their family at all. Somebody

437
00:21:32.839 --> 00:21:35.880
that doesn't speak about their parents at all or their

438
00:21:35.960 --> 00:21:39.119
upbringing at all. If you ever ask about it, they

439
00:21:39.160 --> 00:21:43.799
downplay it, speak very little about it, change the subject.

440
00:21:44.240 --> 00:21:49.200
These are major red flags. And it's interesting because I

441
00:21:49.200 --> 00:21:52.319
had a family member recently going through a divorce and

442
00:21:52.359 --> 00:21:54.559
we were talking about it and I said, did that

443
00:21:54.599 --> 00:21:57.640
person ever bring up their mother or father?

444
00:21:57.720 --> 00:21:59.000
Did they ever talk? And they go, well, their mother

445
00:21:59.000 --> 00:22:00.480
and father were dead before we met.

446
00:22:00.480 --> 00:22:02.440
And I go, yeah, that's fine, but you talk about

447
00:22:02.440 --> 00:22:04.799
your parents all the time and they're dead.

448
00:22:05.759 --> 00:22:07.720
I go, but did she bring up her parents? No,

449
00:22:07.759 --> 00:22:08.160
not at all.

450
00:22:08.200 --> 00:22:09.599
I go, did you not see that as a red

451
00:22:09.680 --> 00:22:13.359
flag at all? That somebody never brought up the person

452
00:22:13.440 --> 00:22:15.759
that raised them or gave birth to them. Isn't that

453
00:22:15.839 --> 00:22:20.039
kind of strange? That means there's a lot of issues there,

454
00:22:20.079 --> 00:22:23.599
Like a lot of issues there, okay, And I need

455
00:22:23.640 --> 00:22:25.119
you to think about this because when there's a lot

456
00:22:25.160 --> 00:22:27.880
of issues there and they're not willing to talk about it,

457
00:22:27.960 --> 00:22:31.279
those issues will become your issues. But you won't even

458
00:22:31.319 --> 00:22:33.480
realize it because they're going to be fighting you all

459
00:22:33.519 --> 00:22:35.759
the time, but they're actually fighting you because you're in

460
00:22:35.799 --> 00:22:36.119
the room.

461
00:22:36.160 --> 00:22:39.000
But they're fighting them still. They're fighting their parents still,

462
00:22:39.200 --> 00:22:41.799
they're fighting their upbringing still, and guess what you get

463
00:22:41.799 --> 00:22:44.160
to get the brunt of it. So I need you

464
00:22:44.240 --> 00:22:45.559
to be aware, ask the questions.

465
00:22:45.640 --> 00:22:48.160
If they're being weird with you, if they're like shutting

466
00:22:48.200 --> 00:22:50.480
you down, don't want to talk about it, they're shutting

467
00:22:50.559 --> 00:22:52.480
you down, don't want to talk about their parents, don't

468
00:22:52.480 --> 00:22:55.559
want to talk about their sisters, brothers, family dynamic. This

469
00:22:55.759 --> 00:22:59.039
is red flags flying like communists China. You are at

470
00:22:59.079 --> 00:23:02.519
a big walk up mall and communists China and there's

471
00:23:02.519 --> 00:23:05.759
one hundred and fifty thousand red flags flying. Okay, I

472
00:23:05.839 --> 00:23:08.559
need you to understand what you're dealing with because this

473
00:23:08.680 --> 00:23:11.200
isn't somebody just not talking about it. This is somebody

474
00:23:11.279 --> 00:23:14.359
that directly does not want to speak about this, has

475
00:23:14.480 --> 00:23:17.920
not dealt with it, is either processing not processing, what

476
00:23:18.079 --> 00:23:21.599
have you. These are major red flags. They don't have

477
00:23:21.640 --> 00:23:24.200
to love their parents, they don't have to love their siblings.

478
00:23:24.400 --> 00:23:26.759
But you know what, when there is no talk about it,

479
00:23:26.880 --> 00:23:29.720
or they avoid talk, or they won't even answer a question,

480
00:23:30.160 --> 00:23:31.880
this is something that you need to be aware of

481
00:23:31.920 --> 00:23:34.400
because this will come to haunt you in any relationship

482
00:23:34.440 --> 00:23:36.960
you have with them, because they will take it out

483
00:23:37.000 --> 00:23:40.759
on you and you'll be the jackass. Another thing that

484
00:23:40.799 --> 00:23:44.839
I find interesting is when people talk down to other

485
00:23:44.880 --> 00:23:47.039
people that they think are lesser than them. And I

486
00:23:47.079 --> 00:23:49.799
want you to think about that, nobody's lesser than you.

487
00:23:50.440 --> 00:23:52.119
I don't care what their title is, I don't care

488
00:23:52.119 --> 00:23:53.839
about how much money they have, Like, this is all

489
00:23:53.880 --> 00:23:56.640
a game anyway. Money is this funny money. This is

490
00:23:56.680 --> 00:23:59.039
all funny money that was printed. It's all funny money. Yes,

491
00:23:59.079 --> 00:24:01.079
it was backed by the goal standard. At one point

492
00:24:01.079 --> 00:24:03.200
in time, we were supposed to see that Fort Knox

493
00:24:03.240 --> 00:24:05.119
do right, Remember that when Elon Musk was going to

494
00:24:05.160 --> 00:24:07.319
show us Fort Knox. But that never happened on TV.

495
00:24:07.720 --> 00:24:11.839
But anyway, let's get back to relationships, right. So it's

496
00:24:11.839 --> 00:24:15.480
interesting because when somebody treats you really poorly, right, and

497
00:24:16.119 --> 00:24:18.079
you know they when they treat people poorly, and you

498
00:24:18.160 --> 00:24:20.839
see them and they're treating you great, you are just

499
00:24:20.920 --> 00:24:24.480
the golden style that ever did anything wrong, But there

500
00:24:24.519 --> 00:24:26.119
you are. You take them out to a restaurant, or

501
00:24:26.160 --> 00:24:28.359
they take you out to a restaurant and she or

502
00:24:28.400 --> 00:24:30.960
here whoever is like talking down to the wait staff,

503
00:24:31.039 --> 00:24:33.640
talking down to the bus or bus boy, talking down

504
00:24:33.680 --> 00:24:36.119
to the bar back, talking down to the bar whatever

505
00:24:36.160 --> 00:24:38.640
it is, it needs you to be. And there are

506
00:24:38.680 --> 00:24:41.359
times when people are just rude, right and you're in somebody,

507
00:24:41.519 --> 00:24:44.599
you know you're you're not the nicest person because they're

508
00:24:44.640 --> 00:24:47.359
rude to you to begin with, doesn't you don't want

509
00:24:47.400 --> 00:24:48.119
to always do that?

510
00:24:48.200 --> 00:24:49.000
But yeah, I get that.

511
00:24:49.039 --> 00:24:52.119
But but when somebody's rude talking down to people, and

512
00:24:52.160 --> 00:24:54.039
that's what they're doing, this is a big red flag

513
00:24:54.079 --> 00:24:56.160
because this person actually thinks that they're better than other people.

514
00:24:56.240 --> 00:24:59.160
It's a very narcissistic red flag. It's a very cluster

515
00:24:59.279 --> 00:25:03.359
b dynamic flag. Could be very sociopathic, very non empathetic

516
00:25:03.400 --> 00:25:05.720
type person. We need to be aware of that because

517
00:25:05.720 --> 00:25:07.920
it's going to happen to you too. Just because you're

518
00:25:07.920 --> 00:25:10.000
on the pedestal right now, doesn't mean that the pedestal

519
00:25:10.319 --> 00:25:12.680
will not be thrown down and you will be thrown

520
00:25:12.720 --> 00:25:14.960
down on the ground because they will do the same.

521
00:25:14.799 --> 00:25:15.440
Thing to YouTube.

522
00:25:15.920 --> 00:25:18.359
Okay, And this is that big thing. I find it interesting.

523
00:25:18.440 --> 00:25:20.720
It's like I remember there was a while back, years

524
00:25:20.759 --> 00:25:23.680
and years ago, I spent time with this girl that

525
00:25:23.720 --> 00:25:26.240
was a friend of mine and we would hang out

526
00:25:26.279 --> 00:25:28.440
of our house and you know, and and but she

527
00:25:28.480 --> 00:25:31.799
would talk about every single woman, every single person I knew.

528
00:25:31.799 --> 00:25:34.400
She would talk about and very negatively. It was very horrible.

529
00:25:34.839 --> 00:25:36.759
And I remember at first I thought, oh, we're good

530
00:25:36.759 --> 00:25:38.599
friends and all this stuff, and I would just listen.

531
00:25:39.160 --> 00:25:42.359
But then I realized, you know, that's gonna be me.

532
00:25:42.480 --> 00:25:44.400
At some point, she's gonna be talking about me. And

533
00:25:44.480 --> 00:25:47.119
I kind of just separated myself from that because I

534
00:25:47.160 --> 00:25:50.440
realized that when somebody shows their truth like that, and

535
00:25:50.480 --> 00:25:53.480
they do that across the board, you're you know, for

536
00:25:53.519 --> 00:25:55.519
me to think that she's not gonna talk about me

537
00:25:55.960 --> 00:25:59.160
is really egotistical and self centered to me, And it

538
00:25:59.200 --> 00:26:01.400
also is like very you know, it's just an ego.

539
00:26:01.519 --> 00:26:04.720
It's like, oh, she talks about everybody, why am I immune?

540
00:26:05.240 --> 00:26:07.359
And the thing is if they put down other people,

541
00:26:07.440 --> 00:26:09.279
why would you be immune? And this is something I

542
00:26:09.319 --> 00:26:11.599
really want you to think about, because this is a

543
00:26:11.599 --> 00:26:12.160
big deal.

544
00:26:13.519 --> 00:26:17.640
Now. The last two you're thinking about hating on your ex.

545
00:26:17.680 --> 00:26:19.279
And I know that many of you out there had

546
00:26:19.319 --> 00:26:23.680
some tough, toxic past relationships. There's some pain and suffering,

547
00:26:24.000 --> 00:26:27.319
and my clients are working through their toxicity, working through

548
00:26:27.519 --> 00:26:31.319
their unhealthy relationships. We're processing it, we're getting over it,

549
00:26:31.400 --> 00:26:33.680
we're moving on. We've already processed it. We were in

550
00:26:33.720 --> 00:26:36.119
a different relationship. We moved on in our life, whatever

551
00:26:36.160 --> 00:26:40.480
that is. But when somebody really is stuck on their ex,

552
00:26:40.559 --> 00:26:42.920
hating on their ex, talking about their ax, that sort

553
00:26:42.920 --> 00:26:45.960
of thing, I can understand it to a point, but

554
00:26:46.000 --> 00:26:46.559
then I don't.

555
00:26:46.599 --> 00:26:48.880
And I need us to look at it in like threefold. One.

556
00:26:50.720 --> 00:26:53.599
Remember, we're hearing their narrative. We don't have the other

557
00:26:53.640 --> 00:26:56.640
person telling us their truth, so we're hearing one side.

558
00:26:56.680 --> 00:26:59.880
Okay. Two abuse and abuse abuse.

559
00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:02.160
That's an interesting thing because the word abuse, to me,

560
00:27:02.359 --> 00:27:05.079
can be defined very differently for most people. The word

561
00:27:05.119 --> 00:27:08.960
abuse can be defined very differently. To me, abuse means

562
00:27:08.960 --> 00:27:13.640
physically punching or yelling and screaming and put downs and

563
00:27:13.720 --> 00:27:18.000
manipulation and hate talk. That's abuse. Abuse is not the

564
00:27:18.039 --> 00:27:21.319
same for everybody, Okay. And so sometimes when somebody says

565
00:27:21.400 --> 00:27:23.960
a word, we interpret it a certain way, when in

566
00:27:24.000 --> 00:27:26.960
reality that interpretation is quite off base.

567
00:27:27.720 --> 00:27:28.160
Okay.

568
00:27:28.480 --> 00:27:30.400
So I want you to realize if somebody is really

569
00:27:30.400 --> 00:27:33.119
hating on their ex or making their ex's life a living.

570
00:27:32.880 --> 00:27:35.400
Hell, really be aware of that. Okay.

571
00:27:35.480 --> 00:27:37.640
And I've had coins and I have one particular client

572
00:27:37.680 --> 00:27:41.039
comes to mind just recently. Man, he got into a

573
00:27:41.079 --> 00:27:43.920
relationship with this woman and she was still going through

574
00:27:43.920 --> 00:27:45.599
a lot of court stuff with her ex, and she

575
00:27:45.680 --> 00:27:47.960
kept putting them through court, and then he was getting

576
00:27:48.000 --> 00:27:49.680
you know, she was setting it up where he would

577
00:27:49.680 --> 00:27:51.759
go to jail for ten fifteen days at a time,

578
00:27:51.839 --> 00:27:53.759
and the guy had to work, he needed to work,

579
00:27:53.799 --> 00:27:56.160
and he lost his job, all this stuff. It's like

580
00:27:56.519 --> 00:27:58.279
when you get through that and I know that they

581
00:27:58.319 --> 00:28:01.000
paint a picture for you that this is okay, that

582
00:28:01.039 --> 00:28:03.400
they're doing this, But I need to really think about

583
00:28:03.440 --> 00:28:06.720
this because sometimes what is considered abuse isn't and sometimes

584
00:28:06.720 --> 00:28:10.359
what is considered abuse is okay. I'm not advocating abuse,

585
00:28:10.400 --> 00:28:13.160
but I'm saying, really know what's going on and start

586
00:28:13.200 --> 00:28:15.920
asking some questions. And it is interesting if you can

587
00:28:16.000 --> 00:28:18.119
meet everybody, which is very hard for most people to

588
00:28:18.160 --> 00:28:21.519
meet everybody involved in this previous saga, but if you can,

589
00:28:21.680 --> 00:28:23.079
that's also very interesting too.

590
00:28:23.440 --> 00:28:23.920
One of my.

591
00:28:23.960 --> 00:28:26.559
Biggest pieces of advices though, is as if somebody is

592
00:28:26.599 --> 00:28:29.160
going through this and they're dragging their X through court

593
00:28:29.240 --> 00:28:31.640
and all this stuff, you may want it to step back,

594
00:28:32.200 --> 00:28:34.000
may need to wait for them to get through that,

595
00:28:34.079 --> 00:28:36.519
and maybe while they're getting through that, whatever that is,

596
00:28:36.559 --> 00:28:38.720
you might find someone else My thing is that when

597
00:28:38.720 --> 00:28:41.759
somebody's going through this, we don't know. Maybe there's a reason.

598
00:28:41.799 --> 00:28:45.079
Maybe they're just manipulative, controlling and gaslighting this person and

599
00:28:45.119 --> 00:28:47.359
wanting to ruin their life. Maybe they're not, but really,

600
00:28:47.400 --> 00:28:49.400
if that's really going on, they don't really have time

601
00:28:49.400 --> 00:28:51.640
for another relationship. And you need to also think about

602
00:28:51.640 --> 00:28:54.960
the way that they treat other people and understand it

603
00:28:54.960 --> 00:28:57.079
would this be okay if they treated me like this,

604
00:28:57.240 --> 00:29:00.720
because ultimately, if somebody is like that, they're like that

605
00:29:00.759 --> 00:29:02.559
across the board. It's not like they're just like that

606
00:29:02.680 --> 00:29:04.880
one time. They're like that across the boards. I need

607
00:29:04.920 --> 00:29:08.079
you to be aware of people's tendencies and last but

608
00:29:08.200 --> 00:29:13.400
not least, when somebody you know is is kind of

609
00:29:13.480 --> 00:29:16.400
showing up whenever they want to and not showing up

610
00:29:16.519 --> 00:29:19.160
when they don't. So basically you hear from them occasionally

611
00:29:20.119 --> 00:29:22.279
and then you don't hear from them even maybe they're

612
00:29:22.319 --> 00:29:24.640
standing you up or not showing up, or they're having

613
00:29:24.720 --> 00:29:27.559
excuses or you know. I need you to be aware

614
00:29:27.599 --> 00:29:31.240
of that because sometimes we accept bad behavior from people,

615
00:29:31.839 --> 00:29:34.039
and a lot of times we're accepting bad behavior, and

616
00:29:34.039 --> 00:29:36.680
this is across the board, showing up, not showing a projection,

617
00:29:36.759 --> 00:29:40.160
non projection, manipulation, novelice, whatever that is. But we need

618
00:29:40.160 --> 00:29:42.240
to realize and really look at it. Am I wanting

619
00:29:42.279 --> 00:29:44.920
this person in my life because I actually enjoy spending

620
00:29:44.960 --> 00:29:46.880
time with them and I like them in my life.

621
00:29:46.920 --> 00:29:47.640
I don't need them?

622
00:29:47.759 --> 00:29:49.599
Or do I feel like I need someone in my

623
00:29:49.720 --> 00:29:52.279
life somebody in my life because I feel lonely.

624
00:29:52.039 --> 00:29:53.880
Or I feel sad or I feel depressed.

625
00:29:54.079 --> 00:29:56.759
Because we need to really recognize that because if there's

626
00:29:57.039 --> 00:30:01.559
auxiliary reasons why and it's not based on them, they

627
00:30:01.720 --> 00:30:05.119
will hurt us because basically what we're saying is I'd

628
00:30:05.200 --> 00:30:07.319
rather not be lonely. I don't have this person in

629
00:30:07.359 --> 00:30:10.279
my life, no matter what they are bringing to the table.

630
00:30:10.359 --> 00:30:13.319
So they could be bringing chaos and drama and a

631
00:30:13.359 --> 00:30:16.279
lot of bad stuff into our life, but we're accepting

632
00:30:16.279 --> 00:30:18.039
it because we don't want to have to deal with

633
00:30:18.079 --> 00:30:22.119
the other option, which is being on our own. And

634
00:30:22.200 --> 00:30:24.319
so I do want you to analyze that as you

635
00:30:24.440 --> 00:30:27.440
are in the dating situation, because we do need to

636
00:30:27.440 --> 00:30:30.240
get over past relationships. That's something that I work with

637
00:30:30.279 --> 00:30:33.319
my clients with. If we did lose a spouse that

638
00:30:33.640 --> 00:30:35.799
passed away and we are a widower, we need to

639
00:30:35.839 --> 00:30:37.640
really look at a widow or a widow or we

640
00:30:37.680 --> 00:30:40.039
need to really process that and deal with that death

641
00:30:40.319 --> 00:30:42.640
and before we actually start to move on, because that's

642
00:30:42.680 --> 00:30:44.599
going to be a problem too. You know, we need

643
00:30:44.640 --> 00:30:46.839
to like really process the things in our life so

644
00:30:46.880 --> 00:30:49.480
that we don't bring the same pain or baggage back

645
00:30:49.519 --> 00:30:52.440
into our life with another person. Because remember, what we

646
00:30:52.599 --> 00:30:56.480
haven't figured out and excelled over, we will continue to

647
00:30:56.519 --> 00:30:59.160
have in our life. So it will come in different forms.

648
00:31:00.200 --> 00:31:02.839
And sometimes, you know, you could go from you know,

649
00:31:02.920 --> 00:31:06.400
the simple grease fire on the oven to an insane

650
00:31:06.440 --> 00:31:09.839
you know, college station bonfire. Right, So we're not trying

651
00:31:09.880 --> 00:31:12.359
to up the ante. We're trying to you know, reason

652
00:31:12.400 --> 00:31:15.960
with things, deal with these situations, deal with our bag is,

653
00:31:16.039 --> 00:31:17.960
deal with our situation and understand where it came from

654
00:31:18.039 --> 00:31:19.920
and get rid of it so that when we are

655
00:31:20.319 --> 00:31:22.960
connecting with people in our life, we're connecting with people

656
00:31:23.480 --> 00:31:28.240
that bring positivity, that bring health, a healthy, happy dynamic,

657
00:31:28.319 --> 00:31:31.799
not happy, but a healthy, positive dynamic instead of something

658
00:31:31.799 --> 00:31:33.920
that we might not want to have in our life.

659
00:31:33.920 --> 00:31:35.200
And so I know that many of you are on

660
00:31:35.319 --> 00:31:38.400
dating sites or friends are setting you up where you're

661
00:31:38.440 --> 00:31:41.480
trying to meet people organically at the store, at the gym,

662
00:31:41.640 --> 00:31:44.839
and I commend you continue to do that. But remember,

663
00:31:44.880 --> 00:31:47.000
we need to check our worries and fears of the

664
00:31:47.079 --> 00:31:50.000
door so that we know that when we're with somebody,

665
00:31:50.200 --> 00:31:54.119
we're with them because we actually like that person, not

666
00:31:54.279 --> 00:31:58.000
because they fulfill something that we're worried about or scared about.

667
00:31:58.559 --> 00:31:59.680
And that's so.

668
00:31:59.599 --> 00:32:04.119
Important because remember, I feel like we overlook the red

669
00:32:04.160 --> 00:32:07.839
flags when we need someone. We overlook it because we

670
00:32:07.880 --> 00:32:10.359
need someone. Oh well, you know, who cares that they're

671
00:32:10.359 --> 00:32:13.519
this or self centered, or you know they're a hoarder,

672
00:32:13.680 --> 00:32:15.920
or they spend all their money or they're in debt

673
00:32:15.960 --> 00:32:17.680
and they spend all their money on their credit cards

674
00:32:17.680 --> 00:32:18.400
buying all this stuff.

675
00:32:18.400 --> 00:32:18.720
Who cares?

676
00:32:18.759 --> 00:32:20.759
I'm going to overlook this because I need this person

677
00:32:20.880 --> 00:32:23.799
or this person has money. I'm going to overlook these

678
00:32:23.839 --> 00:32:26.000
things or these sides of them. We need to realize

679
00:32:26.000 --> 00:32:28.200
that that's all going to come back to get us,

680
00:32:28.240 --> 00:32:30.839
invite us in the butt anyway. It's just a matter

681
00:32:30.880 --> 00:32:33.200
of time. So we're just kicking the can down the road,

682
00:32:33.200 --> 00:32:35.279
and it's better to deal with our own issues, which

683
00:32:35.279 --> 00:32:38.160
is what we deal with in my coaching it's better

684
00:32:38.240 --> 00:32:40.440
to deal with our own stuff and process that stuff

685
00:32:40.519 --> 00:32:42.200
so we don't have to deal with it later, and

686
00:32:42.240 --> 00:32:44.000
then we can actually find someone that we can have

687
00:32:44.039 --> 00:32:46.880
a long term relationship with instead of kicking out in

688
00:32:46.880 --> 00:32:49.839
the can down the road and being in a relationship

689
00:32:49.839 --> 00:32:51.680
for a period of months or years and then having

690
00:32:51.720 --> 00:32:54.440
to do it all over again. If you haven't already,

691
00:32:54.480 --> 00:32:56.920
please go on YouTube and check out the videos on

692
00:32:56.960 --> 00:33:00.000
YouTube YouTube get a life Life Coach Ashley Burger's Life

693
00:33:00.079 --> 00:33:03.079
Coach Ashley Burgess. You'll find our channel. We're almost at

694
00:33:03.079 --> 00:33:06.480
two hundred thousand subscribers, and if you haven't already subscribed

695
00:33:06.519 --> 00:33:10.039
or follow, please follow, Please subscribe and then let me

696
00:33:10.119 --> 00:33:12.440
know what kind of content you'd like to hear. If

697
00:33:12.480 --> 00:33:14.880
you're interested in working with me, go to Ashley Burgess

698
00:33:14.920 --> 00:33:18.200
dot com, Ashley b e r Ges dot com, Ashley

699
00:33:18.279 --> 00:33:21.920
with one hy Burgess dot com and just check on

700
00:33:21.960 --> 00:33:24.200
the coaching section. Click on the coaching section on the

701
00:33:24.200 --> 00:33:26.880
website and you can actually set up an appointment right there.

702
00:33:27.119 --> 00:33:29.160
You can also go to the contact page and send

703
00:33:29.200 --> 00:33:31.880
me any message or communication you'd like and I'll get

704
00:33:31.920 --> 00:33:34.839
back to you as soon as possible. But in the meantime,

705
00:33:34.880 --> 00:33:37.440
if you're in this situation, be aware of the red flags,

706
00:33:37.519 --> 00:33:40.200
don't sweep on another rug, be true to yourself and

707
00:33:40.240 --> 00:33:42.920
see the truth, and then the process, also be aware

708
00:33:42.960 --> 00:33:45.200
of any of those blind spots that you have and

709
00:33:45.279 --> 00:33:49.039
start analyzing that, because if there's any fear or anxiety,

710
00:33:49.400 --> 00:33:51.279
we can bring the wrong type of person into our

711
00:33:51.319 --> 00:33:53.799
life just because we need something, not because we want

712
00:33:53.839 --> 00:33:56.680
them in our life. I hope that you've connected with

713
00:33:56.720 --> 00:33:59.359
this podcast. Please share this episode with friends and family

714
00:33:59.359 --> 00:34:01.200
that need to hear Hope you can tune into the

715
00:34:01.200 --> 00:34:03.720
Ask You Burges podcast here in the future, and don't

716
00:34:03.720 --> 00:34:11.639
forget to live your true life.

717
00:34:12.639 --> 00:34:12.679
M